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1
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,440
L-E-N spells Len, not Arthur,
2
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:18,280
so what's my bloody bin doing
in front of your bloody house?
3
00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:20,560
I ain't moved your bin!
You moved my bin!
4
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:22,840
My bin's outside your house.
5
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,560
Basically, grumpy old Len's
having a fight with angry Arthur
6
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,600
because they've both
accused each other
7
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,760
of stealing
the other one's recycling bin.
8
00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:32,920
We swapped them over. We do it
every bin day and wind them up.
9
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,880
Who's your money on?
Len's a fucking unit.
10
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,120
You don't wash your windows! Ooh!
11
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:41,440
You don't wash your bloody trousers!
12
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,920
Oh-ho-ho!
13
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,040
Did you hear that?
Drop him, Len! What are you doing?
14
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,200
Are you going to take that from him,
mate?
15
00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,840
He's bang out of order!
16
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:53,760
Don't you bloody dare, mate.
Don't you dare!
17
00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:57,680
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Len! Len!
Don't you dare!
18
00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,360
Len! Len! Len! No, put the brick
down, you fucking psychopath.
19
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,480
Or what? You want a bricking,
as well?
20
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,000
No, I don't...
21
00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,760
The vicar text me earlier
22
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,680
saying he wants to see us
both in his office,
23
00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,560
but he didn't say what about.
24
00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,120
When I asked him, he just said
"Come to my office now,"
25
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,760
which means we're in the fucking
shit
26
00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:20,400
because we're always in fucking
shit.
27
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,520
Yeah, but what have we actually
done that was bad
28
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,120
in the last three weeks, though?
29
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:26,000
Don't say Len and Arthur
and the bins
30
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:28,440
because they was going for each
other anyway.
31
00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:31,040
We did give the vicar
the wrong change
32
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,240
when he gave us 10 quid to go
and get printer paper from the shop.
33
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:37,720
Yeah, but that was basically
our commission.
34
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,600
And we did burn Slugs's
nipples on the radiator.
35
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,120
Yeah, but that was for science.
Yeah. That was for science.
36
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,240
Well, thank you both
for coming in today.
37
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,720
I really, really appreciate it.
38
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,320
Look, if you're going to bollock us,
39
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,080
save yourself the waffle, just get
to it.
40
00:01:54,080 --> 00:01:57,320
What do you mean? You're going to
have a go at us. Yeah.
41
00:01:57,320 --> 00:02:00,720
Well, no, I'm not. No.
42
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,680
I called you in today
because I have some news. What?
43
00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:09,440
The tadpoles have spawned
in the parish pond
44
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:12,800
and they are absolutely thriving.
45
00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:18,640
That's great.
46
00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:21,040
That is wonderful news. Yes!
47
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:25,000
And, you know, all that the
de-weeding you did last week
48
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,000
really helped to oxygenate the pond.
49
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,480
So, thank you, Kurtan and Kerry.
Well done, mate. Well done.
50
00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,880
Um, no. Just a sec. I just have
one other thing to discuss with you.
51
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,960
Oh, my...
Hear me out. Well, I'm just...
52
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:41,120
I'm going to be bit busy this week,
so I'm going to need you to
53
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:44,400
do me a favour and take over
Tea Talk for me with Florence.
54
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,120
No way. Oh, no.
55
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:49,320
I'm actually going fishing anyway,
so I can't do it,
56
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,040
but the chat that gets spouted
out at Tea Talk it's just,
57
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,320
99% of it, unfiltered guff.
58
00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,720
That's not true. It is true.
59
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,120
Tea Talk is a scheme
I've been running
60
00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,440
for the last couple of years.
61
00:03:03,440 --> 00:03:05,640
Some of the older residents
62
00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,240
like to talk. A lot.
63
00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:11,160
But because they live alone
and can't get about as much,
64
00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:12,920
they have no-one to talk to.
65
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:16,720
So, once a week, I'll pop in
and see them in their homes
66
00:03:16,720 --> 00:03:18,880
and we'll have a good old chinwag
67
00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:21,240
over a cup of tea
and a slice of cake.
68
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,080
Seeing as you live
across the road from Florence,
69
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,600
would you be able to do it?
70
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,560
No, no, no, no.
71
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,480
I'll give you £5.
72
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,720
20 quid.
73
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:40,200
10. 15? 10. 15? I shouldn't be
paying you at all. 10 is fine.
74
00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:44,320
OK. Excellent. Thank you.
Thank you, Kerry. Great.
75
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,240
What makes you so busy anyway?
76
00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:48,200
Yeah? Busy bee. Busy bee.
77
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,600
Well, actually,
I'm picking up my son
78
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,760
who's coming to stay
for a while.
79
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:54,920
Son? Mm.
80
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,440
You don't have a son, do you?
81
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,200
Yes, I do. Why?
82
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:02,800
You have a son? I've always had a
son. I talk about him all the time.
83
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:04,840
Really? You know that. Jacob.
84
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:08,720
Jacob! He's your son? I thought
that was his dog. So did I.
85
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,280
No! He's my son. He's not my dog.
86
00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,800
Yes, my son's Jacob's
coming to stay,
87
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,120
which I'm really looking forward to.
88
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,200
He's been living in Bristol
for the last few years
89
00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:21,840
since he left university.
90
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:24,480
I've really missed him. A-ha!
91
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,600
I know it's not cool to say this,
92
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,360
but I've been very excited
about you coming.
93
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,320
Yeah, well, good. Good to be here.
94
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,360
Yeah.
95
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,640
It's nice to see it again. It's been
a while since I've been here.
96
00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,960
I don't think you realise
what a place is like
97
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,400
until you leave it
and you come back, you know.
98
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,560
I don't know, it's a bit weird,
isn't it?
99
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,000
It reminds me of the Wicker Man.
I don't really know why.
100
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,360
A bit weird.
A little bit harsh.
101
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,080
Well, it's just what I think.
102
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,840
You'll put people off.
103
00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:56,120
I like to think there's a
104
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:59,000
bit more kindness in the village
than that. I dunno.
105
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,720
It's all right...
We're not burning people.
106
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:02,800
Well...
107
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:13,520
I've been dreading this.
108
00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,560
It's just been hanging
over my head the whole day.
109
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,280
There's a reason no-one
wants to talk to these old fuckers.
110
00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:20,040
Because they're fucking boring.
111
00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:25,240
Well, what I'm going to do
is I'm going to knock on the door,
112
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,560
leave it five seconds, and if she
doesn't come, at least I've tried.
113
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,040
One, two, three, four...
114
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:36,680
Hello, Kerry. Are you here for the
Tea Talk? Yeah. Come on in. Fine.
115
00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,400
OK. Can I take your coat?
116
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,440
Huh? Hmm...
117
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,280
Got rods out now.
118
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,160
Lines in. Now it's just a waiting
game, really.
119
00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:56,800
Kurtan! All right, vicar?
120
00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:59,960
Fucking hell, what's
he wearing them trousers for?
121
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,600
Christ! I can see the crease
between his bollocks!
122
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:05,480
Fucking huge, them bollocks!
123
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:08,680
All right? Yeah.
This is my son Jacob.
124
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:10,840
Hello, mate. Kurtan.
Nice to meet you, son.
125
00:06:10,840 --> 00:06:12,520
Jacob just arrived this morning.
126
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,120
I thought we'd go for a walk
and see how you're getting on. Yeah.
127
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:19,960
Have you caught anything yet?
No, not yet. It's a bit quiet today.
128
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:23,120
Yeah. It's beautiful here, though. I
can see why people get into fishing.
129
00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:24,840
Yes. Yeah, yeah. Well...
130
00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:28,600
You guys are welcome to stay if you
want to watch. That's lovely of you.
131
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:30,720
I've got to get back.
132
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,560
But, Jacob, you can stay, if you
like. I can pick you up later.
133
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,760
Yeah, yeah. Sure, why not? Yeah.
Lovely. Cool. All right, fantastic.
134
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,520
Well, I'll...see you later, then.
Yeah.
135
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,480
Cool. Have a lovely time.
Yeah, all right. Bye.
136
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,760
Yeah, sit down, mate. Yeah, cool.
I've got a spare chair in here.
137
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,840
It's a nice, sort of,
set-up you've got here. Yeah.
138
00:06:51,840 --> 00:06:53,080
That's...
139
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,320
You've not been fishing before,
then? No. This is new to me.
140
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,320
This is...
141
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:03,360
I mean, that's mental. So... Yeah,
it's a fishing rod. Right. OK. Cool.
142
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,520
So, what do you want to talk about?
143
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:21,440
We don't have to talk.
We can watch TV.
144
00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:22,800
Yeah?
145
00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,480
Flog It! will be on,
have you seen it?
146
00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,280
No.
147
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:29,920
Oh, it's absolutely brilliant.
148
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,840
Would you like some biscuits
with your tea, or...
149
00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,720
We've got scones, actually,
if you want.
150
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,760
Er...
151
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,440
Both? Would that be all right?
152
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:42,600
Yes.
153
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:08,680
So, how long are you planning on
staying around for then? Er, dunno.
154
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:11,760
Might be a while but... Never
usually lasts long with me and dad
155
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:14,040
under the same roof. Yeah?
Oh, right. Yeah. I bet.
156
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:17,840
It's just, he's too nice.
He's infuriatingly nice. Yeah.
157
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,280
He has no idea what the real world
is like. Yeah. Do know what I mean?
158
00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:22,320
Yeah.
159
00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,040
What is the real world
actually like?
160
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,720
What do you mean?
Just like Bristol and that.
161
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:37,400
You live in Bristol? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Bristol's great, mate.
162
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,120
Just, like, fast and...
Yeah. ..cars and that?
163
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,600
Just so many mental things
happen.
164
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:45,160
Like, we used to live with this guy
called Chief, yeah? Yeah?
165
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:46,640
He's a nudist.
166
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:48,960
So, he just walks around
with his cock and bollocks out.
167
00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:52,280
You're joking! Yeah, yeah! But the
best thing is my dad came to visit.
168
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,200
All the time he's sweating bullets.
169
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,720
He's trying so hard
not to acknowledge
170
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:02,160
he's got his cock and bollocks out,
he actually fainted! You're joking!
171
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,640
No. Swear on my life. Fucking hell!
Yeah.
172
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,680
Do you fancy a beer? Er, nah.
173
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,440
No, I'm all right, actually.
174
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:10,000
Sure?
175
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,320
Yeah, yeah. Go on, then. Yeah?
Yeah, why not, innit? Nice one.
176
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,280
Might as well. What other stories
you got, then? Er...
177
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,520
Well, my dad took me
to a Slipknot concert. Yeah?
178
00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,480
When I was 13, or something.
179
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,840
And he tried to
get into the mosh pit
180
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,640
because he thought that's where
the best view would be.
181
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,880
So, when the music started,
182
00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,000
everybody started jumping on him...
Yeah!
183
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,280
Like, bottles of piss
poured over him. You're joking!
184
00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:39,360
St John's Ambulance
had to get involved
185
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,960
and, like, gave him gas and air,
dragged him out.
186
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:43,000
Fuck! Mm-hmm.
187
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:53,240
Well, I better get on
with the supper.
188
00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,760
It's lovely of you to pop by,
Sherry.
189
00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:57,040
What will you have?
190
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,960
Hey? What will you have
for your supper?
191
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:02,480
Oh, just steak and chips,
I think.
192
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,240
Oh! I love me steak, I do. Me too.
193
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,120
I absolutely love...
194
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,680
I love steak. Yeah.
195
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:11,600
It's my favourite, actually.
196
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:18,160
Hadn't you better get back? You'll
miss yours. Miss my what?
197
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,400
Miss your supper.
198
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,320
I don't have any supper.
199
00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:24,840
Does your mum not cook for you?
200
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,280
What will you eat?
201
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,680
Oh...
202
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:32,760
I suppose I'll see
what's left in the bin.
203
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:33,960
Maybe I'll just eat that.
204
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:39,360
Would you like to stay for supper,
Kerry? Is that all right?
205
00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,040
Of course. Do stay for supper.
206
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,040
All right, then, yeah.
207
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,840
Can I give you a hand, Florence?
208
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,040
No! I'm fine.
209
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,560
The Simpsons are on next.
210
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:50,840
Okily dokily.
211
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,600
Mum!
212
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,160
What's for tea tonight?
213
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:04,800
For tea tonight?
214
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,040
Yeah, what's for tea tonight?
215
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,440
Yeah, but what will you cook,
do you think?
216
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:26,680
What?
217
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,000
What?
218
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,760
Say that again.
219
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,360
You mean falafel, Sue?
220
00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,240
What the fuck is falafel?
221
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,720
It's mushed up chickpeas.
222
00:11:46,720 --> 00:11:49,600
What are chickpeas? Peas that
taste like shit, basically.
223
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:51,880
How was fishing?
224
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:56,920
Brilliant, but I am hanging out
of my ass today. Why, what happened?
225
00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:00,440
Jacob came. Yeah? Yeah!
What's he like? He's great.
226
00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,600
Really? We got absolutely battered.
227
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,040
Yeah, he loves a party.
228
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,400
And on the way back we just stood
over a bridge on a dual carriageway
229
00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,320
and we were just pissing on cars.
Oh! I want to piss on cars.
230
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,320
Yeah.
231
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,600
Oh! He has some amazing stories
about the vicar, as well.
232
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:17,640
Like what?
233
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,160
The vicar, right, was in
a Christian boyband in the '80s.
234
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:25,520
No way! Yeah. Called
The Nice Guys. You are joking me!
235
00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:26,560
No!
236
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:30,080
The Nice Guys? Yeah! What did
he do in the band? Lead singer.
237
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,280
Lead singer? Yeah.
238
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,080
And he had hair,
as well, apparently.
239
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,640
He had hair! Yeah! Imagine that.
240
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,760
I just can't imagine the vicar
not being bald.
241
00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,840
Mmm.
242
00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:53,840
Florence, that was just...beautiful.
243
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,480
Really beautiful. Good.
244
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,080
Glad you liked it. Mmm.
245
00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,120
Not going to let you go hungry,
you know, Kerry. Ah!
246
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,040
I love Tea Talk.
247
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:08,920
Florence is just an absolute dream.
248
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,760
It was a bit sad
because her cat died recently.
249
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,080
But I think me being here
has just cheered her up tenfold.
250
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,920
That was him, look. That's the cat.
251
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,040
His name was Tudor, look.
252
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:22,240
Feel the weight of that.
253
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,560
Feel the weight of that, honestly.
254
00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:26,200
That's how fucking big he was.
255
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,520
Ate himself into physical decay.
256
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,440
That's how I want to go.
257
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:34,720
Yeah.
258
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,320
Kerry gets very jealous
whenever I talk about Tudor.
259
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,880
So I just try not to
mention him at all.
260
00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:44,920
She said...
261
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,200
Shh...
262
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,240
Oh, for fuck's sake!
263
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,640
That'll do.
264
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,400
Thanks so much for doing Tea Talk,
Kerry.
265
00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,040
I can take over now, but thanks
so much for filling in for me.
266
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,080
Well, I don't mind doing it again.
267
00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,800
Well, that's very kind of you, but I
know how dull it must be for you...
268
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,360
No, it's not dull, it's fine.
She trusts me now.
269
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,920
Well, all I'm saying is
that I'm free now and...
270
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,040
Yeah, but she's in a very
dark place at the moment
271
00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:27,480
because she's just lost her cat,
which is very upsetting.
272
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:29,800
You know, I'm not
quite sure why you're
273
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,840
so insistent on trying to ruin
this for me. I'm not...
274
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,480
It feels like that. I'm really not
trying to ruin anything for you.
275
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:40,480
You know, I think it's brilliant
that you want to keep Tea Talk
276
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,600
going with Florence, I really do,
Kerry. I couldn't be prouder of you.
277
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,640
Sounds like you're really
making a difference.
278
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,640
Well, I am, I'm making
a massive difference.
279
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,600
She'd lose her shit
if it wasn't for me.
280
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,840
Great, good.
281
00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,480
Kerry, ready? Ah, Kurtan,
come on in.
282
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:58,160
Look, I've been meaning
to say thanks so much
283
00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:01,520
for spending time with Jacob.
He's been raving about it? Yeah?
284
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,080
That's great, yeah,
we're going fishing again tonight
285
00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,840
and probably go down Keepers,
have a few beers and that.
286
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:08,920
It'll be a laugh. Excellent.
287
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:13,560
But just to let you know, Jacob's
had a bit of a tough time of late.
288
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:15,520
Well, what do you mean?
289
00:15:15,520 --> 00:15:18,640
Well, he's had some problems
you should probably be aware of.
290
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:24,400
What sort of problems? Well...drink
and drugs problems, mainly.
291
00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:25,920
Oh, shit.
292
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,440
Could have told me
earlier about that.
293
00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:32,960
Why?
294
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,840
Just would have been nice to have
known sooner. No reason as such.
295
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,200
Sorry, yes.
296
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,880
Go on, then. I'll see you later.
So you, Kerry. See you.
297
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,240
See you, Kurtan. Bye.
298
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,480
We have had a few
problems with Jacob.
299
00:15:51,480 --> 00:15:57,520
Mostly with sort of addiction
issues with alcohol and heroin,
300
00:15:57,520 --> 00:15:59,680
which caused him a bit of bother.
301
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:04,080
He ran up a bit of debt
with a chap called Sketchy,
302
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:08,720
so we had to remortgage
the cottage to bail him out.
303
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,880
Well, I feel bad now.
You know, I had no idea.
304
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,560
I just thought he liked to party.
305
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,960
But that's just a whole different
ball game. I am shocked.
306
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,200
Having said that, he did try
and smoke my hemp seed
307
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640
that I used as ground bait
for fishing.
308
00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,680
And that should be a clear sign
to me at the time... Oh, my God!
309
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,080
What? Look at that.
310
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,560
What's that? I just typed in,
"80s Christian boyband,
311
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,120
"The Nice Guys," into Google,
and that's just come up.
312
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:42,080
That's the vicar.
Good Guy, by The Nice Guys.
313
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,680
That is so typical of him.
314
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,160
So, er...
315
00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:01,200
..my dad mentioned that he'd told
you the real reason I'm here
316
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,760
and the problems I've had and stuff.
317
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,520
I think, yeah.
He said something about it, but...
318
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,800
I can't really remember now,
to be honest.
319
00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:15,920
Well, thanks for not saying
anything about the other night.
320
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:19,080
You know, I don't want to upset him
or anything so... Yeah, sure.
321
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:22,720
Probably best if we keep it
between ourselves. Yes.
322
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,960
It's just like a final blowout,
I guess.
323
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,440
Just getting it out
of my system. But...
324
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:33,040
Yeah, I'm just on the water tonight.
All right, cool. Just so you know.
325
00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,440
No worries, mate. No worries. Sweet.
326
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,200
TV: Before we go, Chris, a question,
I'd forgotten.
327
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:49,920
If Sir Frederick Banbury came
second and Silerio came fourth,
328
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,040
who or what came third?
329
00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:55,240
The answer is Florence...
TAPPING
330
00:17:57,360 --> 00:17:59,520
..between Sir Frederick
Banbury and...
331
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:01,480
TAPPING
332
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:03,640
Thank you, Chris.
Join us next time to see if
333
00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,760
the next team of Challengers have
the brains... Right, I best be off.
334
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:09,960
Don't you want to
watch Springwatch?
335
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:14,680
Oh, I wish I could but I've got to
get back. Shall I see you tomorrow?
336
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,480
Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. OK.
337
00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,040
All right, Florence,
ta for that! Right.
338
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:02,160
Mum?
339
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,800
Where's dinner?
340
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:09,560
All right, cheers.
341
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,720
TV: And you pour a
cup of cold water?
342
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,400
It's not a cup of cold water,
it's the absolute reality,
343
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,720
and also the jackdaws
have got young too.
344
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,040
What about an "ah"
for the baby jackdaws?
345
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,200
I just want everything to survive!
346
00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,480
Be a weird world if
everything survived.
347
00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,640
Let's have a look at our buzzard.
348
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:53,880
Now we know it's a one
chick, a single child.
349
00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:57,320
And because of that, it's
been doing extremely well,
350
00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:00,520
it's been growing rapidly,
it's had plenty of food.
351
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,200
Let's take a look at it
when we first met it.
352
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,120
Got a good feeling about this
little place here. Yeah, me too.
353
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,960
This could be the one, yeah.
354
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,560
That's what I think.
355
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,000
Right, I mean, it's just
great, isn't it? Fishing.
356
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:20,240
Yeah. Like, just something about it.
357
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:25,520
Like, the lake and the trees
and the birds. Yeah, beautiful.
358
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:27,600
It's beautiful. Exactly.
359
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:29,320
Like, you live in a city, yeah,
360
00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,880
and you just kind of forget how
beautiful just the countryside is!
361
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:36,720
I mean, it's amazing.
Yeah, that's true, that is...
362
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:40,280
You know what, I'm really glad
I've got onto fishing now. Yes.
363
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,680
That's brilliant, isn't it?
Yeah, that's great.
364
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,840
This is you, this is all you.
You've done this.
365
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,760
I've done it and, you know,
we can go all the time. Yeah, yeah.
366
00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:50,280
Whenever you're back and...
367
00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:54,280
I mean, the thing that amazes me is
it's just like all of it together.
368
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:58,840
You know, as an experience. Like,
us being here, you know what I mean?
369
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,760
And the environment, and like...
And just, like, nature.
370
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,080
Nature's, like, here with us,
you know what I mean?
371
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,120
Yeah, it's just nature,
nature's your friend.
372
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:10,960
The lake and the trees and...
373
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:13,560
And you've just got to
embrace it, you know?
374
00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:16,120
Hey, have you taken something?
Yeah, mate, yeah.
375
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,440
It's a pill, isn't it?
It is a pill, yeah.
376
00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,760
And you're definitely not interested
in fishing any more? Yeah, exactly.
377
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,400
Feel that. Feel it, feel it, no,
feel it. You're not feeling it?
378
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,720
I am feeling it.
You're not feeling it? Feel it.
379
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:39,240
All right. You all right?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
380
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,600
Shall we pack up?
Yes, please, can we...? Yeah.
381
00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:48,440
Right, I'll meet you at the
gate, yeah? No, don't... OK. Oh!
382
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,080
Where is he going?
Where is he going?
383
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,640
Can you look after that?
Because I'm going to have to...
384
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:57,040
Oh, for fuck's sake.
385
00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,320
Jacob got wrecked again last night.
Did he?
386
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,640
Yes, he's an absolute wreck-head.
Shit.
387
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,560
Just wandered off on his own.
388
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:14,160
Came back with some homeless guy,
trying to get me to take him
389
00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,600
back to my nan's to give him a bath.
Oh, sh...!
390
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,640
You know, they ended up
having a fight later on,
391
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,560
got kicked out of the
fucking fishing club.
392
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,120
He's a total liability.
Does the vicar know? No.
393
00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:27,400
He thinks he's on
the straight and narrow.
394
00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:30,200
Well, you've got to tell the vicar.
395
00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:32,680
What?
396
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:45,840
Well...Florence is probably just
making it up to get attention.
397
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:11,160
Is that what you've been
doing in the evenings, Ker?
398
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,800
Hmm?
399
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,720
You told me you'd been
running in the evenings,
400
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:22,840
but that's not what
you've been doing, is it?
401
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,320
I know Kerry said I should
tell the vicar about Jacob,
402
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:47,320
but I just can't face it.
403
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:50,360
I think the best thing
I can do in this situation
404
00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,040
is just stay out of it.
405
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,080
You know, it's far bigger
than what I can deal with.
406
00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:58,200
And the vicar's just so far...
CAR HORN BLARES
407
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:01,240
..in his bloody dream world,
he's dancing with a Minotaur.
408
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,760
On a cruise ship,
heading straight for...
409
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:07,160
CAR HORN BLARES
Fuck's that?
410
00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,840
Oh, for fuck's sake!
411
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:12,920
Fuck!
CAR HORN BLARES
412
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,240
Jacob! Sorry, mate, sorry.
413
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:20,520
Sit down, mate. Let's get a kebab,
innit? No, you can't do it.
414
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,040
This is a marketplace. Kebabs!
415
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,400
What you doing? That's a bin, mate.
416
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,720
Fucking hell.
417
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,120
Hello? Hi, vicar. Yeah, it's Kurtan.
418
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,280
Yeah, I... It's Jacob, really.
419
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,800
Yeah.
420
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,200
That's right. He's
been drinking, yeah.
421
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,480
Oh, God. Jacob. All right.
422
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,400
Hello. Jacob, it's all right.
Yeah, I'm good.
423
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,360
We're going to get you home. Yeah...
424
00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:58,480
Yes, it's a difficult situation.
425
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:00,320
I suppose I was in denial
426
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,280
and I didn't realise I was doing
more damage to my son than good.
427
00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:09,360
Don't be harsh on yourself. No.
I feel like being harsh on myself.
428
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:16,600
Sometimes, it... It has to be
bad to be good again, you know.
429
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:19,240
My trousers are falling down.
430
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,840
My trousers are falling down.
Right. One second...
431
00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:25,280
Oh, dear. Thank you, Kurtan.
432
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:30,280
Thank you for being a friend to me,
and a friend to Jacob.
433
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:33,280
It's a pleasure, that's what I do.
434
00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:38,720
And thank you.
For whatever it is you do.
435
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,680
Because I still don't really know.
436
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,480
Shall I get the kettle on?
437
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,280
Yeah? Biscuits? Oh, yes, please.
438
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,440
Yeah? Will you excuse us? Thank you.
439
00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,240
Come on, then. Let's get
you inside, out the rain.
440
00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:04,920
There she is, look.
441
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:14,520
I just find it weird how you
can be so close to someone
442
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:16,640
and they can be such
a big part of your life.
443
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,720
And then the next minute, you're
just sort of strangers in the night.
444
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:26,000
You know. Nothing much changes.
I'm just more hungry.
445
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:34,360
I reckon she's going to be cooking
her thrice-cooked chips tonight.
446
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,000
Because they're not cooked once
and they're not cooked twice,
447
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,440
they're cooked thrice!
448
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,240
But those days are in
the past now, I suppose.
449
00:26:56,560 --> 00:26:58,240
Standing in the rain
450
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:00,920
I hand you my jacket
451
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,240
I guess I'm just a good guy...
452
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,760
That's not you? It's me.
Is that you? Yeah, that's me.
453
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,040
You're always out of reach
454
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,240
These words I long to preach
455
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,960
Love is my word...
That's good!
456
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,520
That's actually not shit.
Thank you very much. Yeah!
457
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:23,760
You can hold a note, mate.
I can, yeah.
458
00:27:25,280 --> 00:27:27,520
I'll be your prof
and your line...
459
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,080
Puff? Who wrote the lyrics?
460
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,280
You did? We all did.
461
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,480
..divine intervention!
462
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:36,440
Good guy
463
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,920
Just a good guy...
464
00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:42,440
I quite like that.
Give me a try
465
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,640
Fall in love with a good guy...
466
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,240
What's it about? What's
the song about? A good guy.
467
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:50,240
Who's that? Well, it works
on lots of levels.
468
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:51,520
Are you the good guy?
469
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:55,680
Well, I am in this and it could
mean a lot of other things.
470
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:59,040
Wait for it - here comes the flute
solo, here comes the flute solo.
471
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:15,880
Bad boys are all the fashion
Crimes of hate crimes of passion
472
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,120
Love is pure it can't be wrong
Where have all the good guys gone?
473
00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,200
Girl dry your eyes
474
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,720
Leave the bad guys
They'll hurt you with their lies
475
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,080
So find yourself
A good good guy
476
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,120
Good guy!
I'm just a good guy...
37925
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