All language subtitles for The Roommates (1973) 720p EN

Beth, listen to this,

"Women,
tighten your chastity belt

and show this sex animal
called man

that you are not
objects of pleasure.

That sex is not
a man's basic right.

There is trouble beyond
the valley of the dolls.

Girls unite.

Join the sexual revolution
and be free."

Yeah, free and lonely.

Free and lonely is right.

All those women-libers
where are they from,

it must be the Victorian age.

They're so anti-fun.

I mean, I believe women
should have basic rights

like 60% for women,
30% for men

and 10% for the other kind.

I don't want to be equal.

Who wants to compete with men

I have a hard enough time
competing with women.

Yeah, but Beth
you have to understand,

you are the classic example of
what a doll should look like.

God, you're well-built,
you're well-seasoned,

reasonably bright.

What do you mean
reasonably bright?

Girl, I mean,
reasonable enough to know

that it's all right being
a wife doll mate,

but housekeeping,
oh, that's absolutely unnatural.

Girl, you could die at 40
from ajax poisoning.

Yeah, but think of all
the lovin' up to there.

Oh, you and you're lovin'.

I mean, an ever-loving
man can't be all bad.

They're not.

An ever-lovin' man is good!
He's very good!

Especially when he's
got his arms around

an ever-loving woman.

You know what that
result is, hmm,

they make the most beautiful
Quincy Jones music together

you have ever heard.

...Our bodies are
all we got, really.

We shouldn't force feed
ourselves with a bunch of pills

and instant gook.
We should be... natural.

Uh-huh.

We should just bare our
breasts to the wind

and let nature
take its course, right?

Heather, come on.

I'm really serious.

Oh Brea, you know you're
really a beautiful person.

And I'm sure that when you
graduate medical school

you're going to save mankind.

It's just that I have different
plans for my fellow man.

I don't want to save mankind,
I just want to serve him.

Well, let me put it this way,

consider the possibilities of
getting mankind to serve you.

...I like that.

So, I first met this guy,

in one of my
psychology classes

and believe me
it was real cool

until I found out
he was married.

How did you find that out?

Oh, he invited me to have
lunch with him one day,

he said he had somebody
he wanted me to meet.

And so we went over to
the Student Union

and I met this sophomore
model-type,

you know, with the
long black hair down to here,

smokes Camel cigarettes.

Oh, Mr. Nice Guy's wife, huh?

Yeah.

And after they sprung
for a 35-cent hotdog

and a 15-cent Coke,

they invited me
to have group sex.

Oh, come on,
the other-lovin' couples bit?

Right.

Except the way they put it.

They felt that it would be
an exceptional experience.

Well, orgy's certainly
have come a long way.

Hey.

Hey, how about a group sex
clinic for people with hang-ups.

I mean, we could answer all
the forbidden questions,

like, "Do I have to be
over sexed to participate?"

"Is it expensive?
Can anyone join?"

"What kind of people
will I meet?"

"Will it interfere with
my religious beliefs?"

"Is it likely to wear me out
or shorten my sex life?"

Or...

"Are you sure you can
keep a secret?"

You know, I've decided,

I'm really a purist
conservationist.

Really? I always thought
you are a liberal.

Well, I am politically.

But I'm against everything.

Everything?

Yeah, in the wilderness.
You know, super highways,

campground,
ski lifts,

restaurants,
hotdog stands,

giant parking lots
and plush resorts.

Well, I guess, I'm just for
satin sheets and dry martinis

and paid vacations
and lots of room service.

No, Heather, I mean,
nature's natural beauty

shouldn't be
commercially exploited.

We shouldn't rape
the landscape.

I don't want to rape anyone!

You know, I once read this
book about backpacking

in the wilderness
with a buddy.

Male or female?

It doesn't make any difference.
It's the experience that counts.

You know,
you may be right.

I haven't given any
thought to the experience.

I only thought it was important
who you were with

and where you were
seen doing it.

I guess I've just been too
busy having a good time.

Nothing wrong with
having a good time.

No.

Or maybe there is
when you try too hard.

Come on,
we're going to be late.

Hey, I got it.

I got the job.

Hey, man, that's great.

Beautiful.

Would you look at who's going
to be mother goose to 300 boys?

Just think of it, Brea,
your own farm system.

Listen Brea,
you better watch your step.

I hear those little monsters

burned their last counselor
at the stake.

Oh, come on, it's going
to be a great summer,

we'll all be up there together.

And Lake Arrowhead won't be
the same when we're through with it.

Hey, listen, you're all invited
to stay at my place.

Sorry, the beautiful
camp Wanachee

has arranged for my
own private pup tent.

I even get time off
for good behavior.

And we have a wholesome
threesome going,

Carla, Nick and I.

Who is Nick?

Ah, he's some guy
I picked up on.

Sort of a cross between
Truman Capote

and Steve McQueen.

And he also happens to be the
ski instructor up at the lake.

So you see, we're all set.

Anyway, you have a whole
house full of relatives.

Uh-hmm, just one.

I'm babysitting for my
little cousin this summer.

I haven't seen her in ages.

Yeah. Well, while you're
warming her milk

and tucking her into bed
each night,

you just think about
your closest friend

in the arms of some,
uhmp, dynamite cat.

Having her body
caressed with kisses.

Letting out cries of ecstasy!
And moans!

Oh, let's hear it for
the moans of delight.

Wishing all the
time you were there.

Some friend.

What are friends for
if we can't even discuss sex.

Sex is a biological urge,
triggered by hormones,

secreted by your glands.

Oh, that's beautiful, Brea.

Really romantic.

And sex can be
demonstrated, categorized,

identified, measured, promoted
like popcorn or mouthwash,

but while we are making love...

Commonly called "having sex."

We shall not forget our
best friend's loneliness.

I know.

We'll write her name
in men's rooms.

Or, how about a big sign to read,
"Last girl before freeway."

Oh yeah.

Well, listen gang,
if I get too lonely,

I can always advertise
in Playboy.

- Playboy?
- Playboy?

♪ ♪

- Hi.
- Hi.

I think you really got to
settle something for me.

Like what?

Well, my friend, Warren,

I bet him that anybody
as beautiful as you

had to be some
sort of a celebrity.

Uh-hmm.
What did Warren say?

He said any girl with a
fantastic body like yours

had to be an athlete.

Uh-hmm.

I've led a very
sheltered childhood.

My name is Larry.
Larry Gordon.

Heather Brent.

I'm sorry you lost your bet.

It was worth it.
I met you, didn't I?

- Dance?
- Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Where's the action?

I don't know yet.

Hey listen,
have you seen Brea?

Oh, Brea!
I'd like to see Brea

lying naked on an oriental rug
with her arms reaching out

for my passionate,
throbbing body.

Andy.

No, I haven't seen her.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah, thanks.

Hmm.

Closer.

You know,
I'm worried about you, Andy.

Do you ever think
of anything but sex?

No, I don't think so.

You know, sometimes
I wished my mother

would have dressed
me up funny

so I could have grown up
to be a homosexual.

A homosexual.

Why?

Just think of it.

Then I wouldn't have
to think about girls.

Oh.

Hi group.

- Hi, Brea.
- Hi, Brea.

I am ready for a big night.

Let me tell you.

A big night to her is sliding
down a Matterhorn at Disneyland.

- Hey Brea,
do you want a drink?
- Uh-uh.

I think it's a Singapore Sling.

Well, I'm surprised at you Andy,
you know Brea has no vices.

Well, I've acquired a couple.

You better be careful because

Andy here just had you
naked on an Oriental rug.

Oh, go on.

If I go on, I may lose
a beautiful friendship.

Well, my good buddy,

I have come here tonight to invite
each and every one of you

to a small gathering
of my medical friends.

It will be an evening
of easy virtue.

Plenty of booze,
lots of eligible men.

Oh, I like it.

It will be an orgy that
would be long remembered.

Yeah.

At least she won't
cheat on me.

I will always know
where she is.

You know,

I don't know if it's a
boy skeleton or girl skeleton.

What does it matter,

I love you.

Kiss me.

Are you sure, you two have never
played the doctor-nurse game?

No, but I was in
a hospital once.

Well, I'm going
to be the doctor.

And you two will be nurses.

Cool.

What's the prize?

The nurse that does
the most for the doctor

will get something
she'll never forget, okay?

Okay.

It's not often that I... that I
meet someone that I can talk to.

I mean, someone that
I can look up to

and find mutual interest
and respect.

Someone that truly
in a short lifetime

wants to spend a moment
or two with me.

It's your move.

Move?

The chess game, professor.

Oh yes, of course, my dear.

Do you really think
American chess players

are superior to the
Russian players?

Of course, summer camp is
a nice place to meet people.

Did you like going to camp?

Hmm.

That's where I first
met Warren.

Warren is a very
sociable fellow.

Yeah.

He and I used to share a
bunk bed. I was on top.

You were on top.

Everything was all right until
the whole bed started shaking.

- Earthquake?
- No.

Every night when
the lights went out,

Warren started beating his pud.

- Beating his pud.
- Yeah.

One night he was
so damned bad

the whole cabin started shaking.

I counted 20 guys
beating their pud.

Warren, you might
have gone blind.

Really.

I mean, when you
really get down to it,

how much time do we have?

Right.

Imagine.

Just imagine that you and I

were the last man
and woman on earth.

Huh, that's heavy.

Well, that's a heavy
mind buster.

By the way,
what was your name?

Arthur.

Of course, Arthur.

Oops.

Sorry Andy,

you look happy as a hypochondriac
in a medical convention.

Hey, Brea, come on in,
I'll make you chief nurse.

No, thank you,

I think you have your
hands full, doctor.

Now, altogether say, "ah."

- Ah.
- Ah.

That's good.

Look, I won't do it
if you don't want me to.

I mean, some girls
like it and some don't.

After all it's your ear.

Honey, nobody has
ever asked me before,

they just went ahead
and did it.

Well, I was just going to do it,
and I would have, but

Warren and I respect you.

That's nice, but Warren
has very cold hands.

You know, I think the three of
us are going to be very happy.

I, I think I love you.

Sweetheart,
I'm just not your type.

- Oh, no.
- No.

No.

But see the
one over there?

- Over there, yes.
- Yeah.

- Were? There...
- Much better for you.

Right there.

I think I love you.

Mickey, I'm telling you,
you are what you eat.

So you really think
you can beat me?

Absolutely.

Now, if I win,
what do I get?

Huh, what do you want?

You go to bed
with me tonight.

Okay. Okay.

Here's the bet...

Hey, Carla come on,
we got a contest.

Contest?
What contest, girl?

Listen, you go to hear this.

- You know egomaniac
Mickey, right?
- Yeah.

Well, he's going to have a
sit-up contest with Brea

and if he wins he goes
to bed with her tonight,

but if she wins she's
going to shave him bald.

- Shave him bald?
- Yeah.

That poor guy.

Doesn't he know
she can do at least 200

and not even get winded.

We'll we sure are
going to find out.

Come on, let's go.

I got to see this.
Come on.

Professor, are you okay?

Totally in control, my dear.

Totally in control.

Hang loose big boy,
hang loose.

65... 66... 67...

Hey, is anybody taking
bets on this?

What's your play?

- I've got 20 that says Brea wins.
- You're covered.

Hey Carla,
are you with me?

Sure, go, we split.

Okay.
Hey, anybody else?

- I've got 5.
- You're on.

You're on.

Oh, that's fantastic,
come on, Brea.

- Heather.
- Uh-hmm.

Just being close to you is
turning Warren and I on.

Hmm.
That's nice.

But I wish I could find a
way to turn Warren off.

Why don't we go over
to your house

and we'll have a night
that you won't forget,

I promise you.

Me, you and Warren.

Warren?!

Do it, girl.
Do it.

Brea, don't you
let us down, girl.

Brea baby, we've got
money riding on you,

get it on.

91... 92... 93...

94... 95... 96...

Yay!

To the victor belongs the spoils.

Come on, spoils in front
of God and everybody.

Yay!

We did it.

I told you girls

that there'd be
only one winner, huh?

Oh.

Okay, I'm coming.

Yes?

Heather?

Hi.

Don't you recognize me?
I'm Paula your cousin.

Oh honey, come in.

I'm sorry.

At 7 in the morning,
I don't recognize anybody.

- How have you been?
- Fine.

Listen you must be exhausted,

do you want some
milk and cookies

or a Coke or something?

Oh, no thanks.

Wow, oh,
your place is beautiful.

Honey, you just got
to have to excuse me,

I keep seeing you in
pigtails and braces.

Oh, that's okay.

What, it's been five years
since we've seen each other.

Uh-hmm.

I really appreciate
you asking me

to spend my vacation with you.

Don't you think it's about
time we got together again?

This summer is
going to be fantastic.

I mean,
I hope I never forget it.

So daddy told John,
that's the boy used to go with,

to have me home by 12.

Fine.

So we go out to the
dune buggy races,

way out in the desert,

miles from everything

and everybody goes home.

Well, guess what happened?

- He ran out of gas.
- He ran out of gas.

Oh really.

- No really?
- Uh-hmm.

So there's poor daddy,

sitting home alone waiting
for me on the front porch

and I don't show up.

Well, let me tell you,

he had everybody but
the Foreign Legion

out looking for me.

He had the state police,
the local police,

the fire department,
the dogcatcher.

Oh, Paula.

Do you like it?

Fantastic.

Are you comfortable?

Oh, I...

Uh, I guess
this is your place?

Yes, this is my place.

Look, I'm really sorry.

I was hiking all night
and I was just looking

for a place to crash
for a couple of days.

Well, if you don't mind
I'd like you to leave.

Like I said, I'm sorry.

Don't you have
any place to stay?

No, I don't have
any place to stay.

I'm a little short, you know,
but I am looking for work.

Listen, you could probably
use a guy like me around here.

I could chop some more
wood for you;

open the house up,

a lot of things.
I'm a good handyman.

Why not, Heather?

He could chop some
more wood for us

and there's lots of things
to do around here.

Couldn't we use some help
even if it's only for a few days?

Well, I suppose we could try
it out and see what happens

for a few days.

Fantastic. Thanks.

Listen, you bunk back there.
It's not the Holiday Inn,

but at least it will
keep the rain off.

After you've put
your stuff away,

get our luggage
out of the car.

Thanks again, Miss, uh?

Ms. Brent.

Paula, come on, don't you want
to see the inside of the house?

Hey roommate, do you
want a ride to the village?

Nick, I don't have to be
at work till noon.

Good, why don't I stay home
until noon and then we can...

Nick Jensen,
you are an evil man.

You're going to be late.

It sure would be fun though.

Okay.

I can tell when I'm not wanted.

See you later, okay?

Okay.

Hi, fellas.

I'm Brea Stone,
the camp nurse.

Hello, Ms. Stone.

Oh, you boys
just call me Brea, okay.

Sure thing, Brea,
my name is Aaron.

This is my friend Harold.

Boys up here for two weeks
or the whole summer?

The whole summer.

How about you, Harold?

Summer,
the whole summer.

Hey that's great.

This is my second
year here, Brea.

The nurse we had last year

sure wasn't as pretty
as you are.

She was a real dog,
you know.

Forget it.

Well, thank you.

Were you up here
last year too?

Oh, no.

Well, I hope you guys
have a nice time,

if there's anything
I can do for you,

my office is right up there.

You bet, Brea.

Nice meeting you, Harold.

See you, Aaron.

See you.

Boy, is she built
like a brick shit house?

What?

A brick shit house.

What's the matter with you,
you can't be all that dumb.

No, I'm not that dumb.

Boy, would I like
to make it with her.

But what do you do,
take her for a Coke?

No, you idiot.

I'll take her for a
walk in the woods,

then I'll make mad,
passionate love to her.

Are you dreamer?

I am, huh.

How many women do you
think I've been with?

I don't know.

Oh, come on,
how many would you say,

take a guess.

Counting your
mother and your sister?

No, not counting my
mother and my sister.

Let me tell you smartass,
I've been to bed with lots of girls.

My mother and my sister?
I'll see you later, okay?

Yeah.

Okay, now Alice,
now keep your knees bent.

That's it.

Just relax and let the water
do the work for you.

- Bounce?
- That's it.

Yeah.
Just relax.

You got it?

Getting it.

Hey, can I help you?

No, I'm fine.
Thanks anyway.

Here.

Thanks.

So do you get the idea, Alice?

I think so.
Finally.

Good.

Hey, Nick?

Huh?

Who is that good-looking
guy on the boat?

I don't know, uh, Lee.

Lee something.

Oh, I know Lee Kingman.

Yeah?

What do you know about him?

Not much.

Some rich dude just
separated from his wife.

Why?
Are you interested?

No.

Just curious, lover boy.

Hey, cut that out.

See you later.

Bye.

Um,
can I do something for you?

You already have.

I'll just bet you were looking
for the Sensuous Man, right?

Well, no I was liking... looking
for a copy of

Dr. Stillman's water diets.

Why don't you try
the index cards?

Why not.

Can I help you with something?

You sure turn that
poor old man on.

The story of my life
always turn on the poor ones,

but never the rich ones.

What can I do for you?

Now or tonight?

Now.

Well, now I'm looking
for something on Picasso.

His life? His works?

His works.

I'd like to see some
of his early paintings.

Okay.
Lets see what we can find.

Picasso, huh?

Uh, here we are.

Do you have your card?

Yeah, sure.

Ah, is this your steady job now

or you're just up here
for the summer?

Oh, just for the summer,
I'm a student.

How about yourself?

No, I live here year round.

It must be beautiful
up here in the winter.

Do you get much snow?

Yeah.
It's something else.

Yeah?
Family up here too?

No, they live in the city.

You said you're a student,
what's your major?

Anthropology.

Oh, wow,
that's a deep one, huh?

No.
Not all the time.

But I do find the study
of man very stimulating.

Yeah, I just bet you do.

I guess you've been told
you're a very pretty lady.

Hey, how'd you like
to go out tonight?

Oh, no, no.
I hardly know you.

That's okay.

I just want to make
new friends.

Well, I got to go now.

By the way,
what's your name?

Carla.
Carla Welsh and yours?

Mike.
Mike Black.

You're putting me on.

Hi.

How are you feeling?

Okay.

Must happen at least
10 times a day.

I really thought you had it
for a minute

the way you hit the water.

No.

Well look,
I don't mean to be rude,

but my name is Lee Kingman.

Hi, Lee.
Beth Michaels.

If you're not doing
anything Beth,

how about a drink?

Sure, I'd love to.

So, I told her,
"I've had it," and she left.

- Do you miss her?
- No way.

I got tired of
playing babysitter.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, I sure do.

I used to go with this guy and
every time he had a problem

he'd come knocking at my door.

Sure got to be a drag.

Do you have any children?

Oh yeah, I have a son.

He goes to military school.

They're going to make
a man out of him.

Speaking of men,

you're not married
or anything, are you?

Oh, no.

I can't find the right man.

Well, I'm a man and
I find you very attractive.

Thank you.

Look honey, I suppose I'm
kind of barging in on you,

but would you have
dinner with me tonight,

just you and me.

I'd love to.

Hey, what's the matter, Socks?
Don't you like me anymore?

You're the salt of the earth.

Hey, what do you say
we wheel back to LA,

this fresh air is killing me.

No, I don't want to
go back to that hot city.

Honey, it's not right we let
Joe drive back by himself.

So who said he's
going back by himself?

Hey, wait a minute.

I wheeled up here with you,
I'm wheeling back with you.

Joe.

Yeah.

How much
you give me for her?

Shit.

How about a buck and a half.

Sold.

I'm no slave!

Hey, listen,
I thought I was with you,

you can't treat me like that.

Now baby,
why don't' you bug off.

We had some good times and
you were good while you lasted.

Now it's all over,
I pass.

Now you be a good girl,
you go with Joe.

Okay. Okay.

I'll see you in LA.

Hey.

What about that dollar fifty?

You can owe it to me.

You know your trouble, Socks?

You love yourself too much.

You're wrong

because I'm not even
good enough for me.

God damn it, why don't
you get off my back?

Why don't you start
acting like a husband?

Stop messing around
with all those foxy ladies?

Why don't you?

Drop dead?

It would have been nice
for you, wouldn't it?

Hey, why don't we sell
tickets to your fights?

We'd make a fortune.

You see Martin,

is that any way to talk to me
in front of our son?

Arnie understands.

He knows that married
people have arguments,

don't you, son?

No,

I don't understand.

It's the same thing every day.

You fight and you fight

and you're tearing
my insides out.

You stop talking
like that Arnold

or I'll smack your mouth.

Mother,
don't call me that, ever.

My name is Arnie.
Arnie! Arnie!

I can't even have
my friends over.

You two would probably start
a fight right in front of them.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the dance.

Well, you get in early.

This is a family?

You two must be kidding.

Hey Arnie,
how are you doing?

Hey. Okay.

Okay Arnie,
you take it easy, all right?

I'll see you later.

Hi.

- Mike Black, right?
- Right.

This is Nick Jensen.

How are you doing?

Hey,
don't you work up here?

Yeah, I'm a ski instructor.

Hey, that must be
a great life.

It is.

- Hey, come on, let's dance.
- Oh no.

You don't mind, do you?

- No, go ahead.
- Oh, honey.

Okay.

Hi.

How would you like to
take a spin on my bike?

Your what?

How would you like to take
a ride on my motorcycle?

Too dangerous,
besides I hate motorcycles.

I've got to go home.

Hey Beth,
have you see Carla?

Yeah, she told me
she was leaving

and she'd see me later.

Something the matter?

Something is always
the matter.

Hey, hop on.

I'll take you
where you're going.

No, thanks.
I don't have that far to go.

Hey, come on, baby.
I won't hurt you.

I just want to
have a little fun.

Hey baby,

do you want to play games?

I'll play games with you.

You're a son of a bitch!

Help me, please.

Somebody let me in.
Help me.

For God's sake open,
please hurry.

Let me in.

Please. Hurry.

Someone please,
let me in. Help.

- What's all the racket?
- I don't know.

Come on, man!

Daddy wants to see you.

Please.

Let me in.
Please.

Someone help me.
Please.

Are you all right?
What happened?

I'll be okay as soon
as I catch my breath.

There's a creep on a motorcycle
chasing me all the way up here.

Hey baby, come on out.

I'm not going to hurt you.

You creep,
get out of here!

I'll call the police.

No, that's not necessary.

I think he's gone now.

I just live up the road and
I can be home in no time.

Thanks for everything.

I'm sorry.

Ah!

Ah! Ah! Ah!

She had over a hundred
stab wounds in her body.

Heather,
you better take her home,

she's pretty shook up.

Mike, this is just crazy,

who would do
something like this?

Yeah, it's crazy.

Somebody is out
of their mind.

Hey. Hey!

You are not my father,
my husband or my keeper.

I do what I want
when I want to do it.

I thought we had
something going.

You see... see, you,

you thought we had something,

but it's over.

Over.

Just like that it's over?

Just like that.

Look, can you dig
where I'm coming from?

I am free, black
and very independent

and no man,

no man is going to
tie a can onto my tail.

Well, he must be
some kind of lover.

Happens to be
he's some kind of a man!

Good morning.

Morning.

Do you always swim nude?

Yeah, why not?

Well, it could be embarrassing.

To who?
Me or to you?

Certainly not to me.

You know something,

you're really a
beautiful person

except like you try to act
like something else,

not natural, not yourself.

So now you're the
psychologist?

No, just a man
and you're a woman

and I think you'd like
to be treated like one,

not some queen of the hill.

But it is my hill,
I own it.

Sure you own it.

You own lots of things.

Sort of a crutch.

You see, I can leave your hill
anytime I want to;

I'm not stuck with it.

And I'm not stuck
with you either, am I?

You know what would
be good for you,

is to lie here in the mud
and get your ass dirty.

Well, it could have
been interesting.

Gee, this is the first time

I've ever been served
by a naked waiter.

You're beautiful.

To us.

Love.

You know, I think
I'm falling in love.

Yeah, mom,
I have plenty of socks.

I'm taking my
vitamins every day.

No, I don't have a cold.

Mom, I'm fine.

No, don't send
any more clothes,

I've got plenty.

Mom, it's summer,

they have blankets
if I need more.

Come on, mom.

I love you too.

Bye.

Aw...

Yes mom,
I ate all my spinach.

No mom, I haven't
wet bed for two days.

Yes mom,
I love you, mama.

Hey, what's going on
here, boys?

- Harold.
- Leave me alone.

Hey, don't let them
get you down.

Look, they're just trying to be
big men at your expense.

I don't like it.

Aaron is supposed
to be my friend.

Well, he's nothing
but a wise guy.

Well, why don't you
beat him up.

Step on his head,
break his fingers.

Make him eat some
ground glass.

Look, you could run
over him with a tank.

I know.

I'll put an atomic bomb
under his bunk.

Now you got the idea.

But don't let him
get you down.

I know.

I guess it's my mom's fault.

She's just worried about you.

If she was worried,
she wouldn't send me here.

Well, mothers sometimes
don't understand,

but I do.

You do?

Oh, Heather,
it's just like old times, isn't it?

You were as good as you were
when you were 16.

Marty, you're a son-of-a-bitch.

I know.

But it's always been
that way between us, hasn't it?

You need me, I need you.

When you've wanted a real man
I've always been there, right?

It's our little secret,

you just don't want to admit it.

Go to hell.

Well, you are a pretty thing,
aren't you?

That's what my
daddy tells me.

Make sure you always
listen to your daddy.

Lee, I want to talk to you.

About what?

About things.

What things?

Things, just things.

Things like,
where you're from,

do you have any
brothers and sisters,

what do you do for a living.

You know,
do you like football?

Just things.

Okay.

I was born in St. John's Hospital
in Denver, Colorado.

My family moved to
California when I was six.

I have one brother
and two sisters,

and I am an architect
and a very good one.

And I love football

and my favorite team is
the Oakland Raiders

and I get turned on
looking at beautiful blondes.

Is that all you want from me?

I don't even know you.

I don't know
anything about you.

God Lee, it means
something to me.

Jesus Christ, I just
gave you my life history.

I mean, what the hell is this,
the third degree?

Are you a cop or something?

No, I'm a woman and I
want to be treated like one.

As a lover, you're great.

As a man,
you're not making it.

Look, I'm sorry.

I'm trying to treat you
like a woman,

be patient with me.

Don't be mad.

You just don't understand.

I understand.

Are you crazy?

I could have killed you.

Where did you get that?

In the house.

In the house, just like that.

Well, who the hell gave you
permission to go into my house?

Don't get so excited.

It's no big deal.

You walked in
and just took that, right?

Well, who the hell
do you think you are?

Heather.

You are to stay out of my house
unless I ask you in.

Do you understand that?

You are going to be just
like your father, Arnold.

Stay out all night,

play around with
all the young girls

and who cares about me?

I'm the one who does
all the work around here.

I take care of the hotel.

I sweep up the floor
and clean up the messes.

I'm sick of it and of you.

You and your father.

You're like the Don Juan's
of Arrowhead.

Now you clean up this place.

Okay, mother.

Okay. Okay.

I told you,
he was no damn good.

Diane, are you okay?

Hey, what's wrong?

Oh my God, she's dead.

I called San Bernardino;

homicide is sending
some men up.

Anyone know her name?

Diane, that's all I know.

She was just learning
how to ski.

Any identification or
wallet or something?

Not that I know of.

Who would want a kid
like that, Sam?

I don't know.

But whoever it was
is one hell of a good shot.

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Anything I can do for you?

Um, I'm looking for a
certain kind of book.

Well, we have all
kinds of books.

Anything in particular?

Yes, um, I'm looking
for a book on sex.

Sex?

I got to make up a
term paper for school,

you know.

You look like you could
write your own book on that.

Yes.
I guess I could,

but this is the
highly technical side.

Do you understand?

Sure. Sure.

Let's see, we have

Everything You Ever
Want to Know About Sex,

The Sensuous Man,
The Biological Urge,

How to Succeed in Marriage,
which one do you want?

I'll take them all.

All I can say is that's going
to be some term paper

you're going to write.

Will you look at those tits!

Man, she is beautiful.

Ooh, would I like to
have her in the sack.

Come on over Harold,
you got to see this.

I don't want to.

What's the matter,
are you chicken?

Maybe but at least
I'm not a peek freak.

What's the matter,
are you queer?

I'll show you who's queer.

Excuse me.

Have you seen Arnie?

He was supposed
to meet me here.

Who are you?

My name is Paula,
we have a date.

I have no idea where he is.

Will you tell me something,

what kind of a girl
picks up a boy?

Hi, Paula.

- Hi.
- I'm sorry I'm late.

Have you been here long?

No.

Shall we go to the dance?

Let's just go for a walk, okay?

Sure, fine.

Just like his father.

You know,
I like the nighttime

when it's dark

you can sit out here
and imagine almost anything.

I guess you can.
It's really quiet.

I know.

But I thought we could talk.

Okay.

What do you want
to talk about?

Anything.

Everything.

You and me.

You know, I think you're a
very beautiful girl, Paula.

I think you're a
really nice boy.

I'm not a boy, Paula.

I'm a man.

You're not the first girl
I've brought up here.

Oh really?

I suppose you've had
tons of experience.

I've had a lot of girls.

I know what girls like.

Do you want me
to show you?

I don't know.

You're really coming on.

Do you want to kiss me?

What's the matter with you?

Nothing.

I'm not in the mood.

What happened to
the big time lover?

I don't know.
I thought I could do it.

Oh, I get it now.

I'm not the first girl
you've had up here.

Well, you've never had a girl.

You're a liar.

Where have they
been keeping you?

In a freezer?

You don't even know
how to kiss.

That's no crime.

A lot of guys don't.

You know what
they're called, don't you?

But you're a virgin.

Wow.

A real live boy-virgin.

Stop it! Stop it!

What's the matter,
little boy?

Didn't your mother
ever teach you about

the birds and the bees?

Ah!

Paula!

Ah!

Operator,
get me the police!

What happened?

Someone tried to kill us.

Over there.

Heather!

Heather.

Heather, are you all right?

Oh, Sam.

Heather, are you all right?

Heather, did you get
a good look at him?

Heather.

Heather, did you get
a good look at him?

Oh, Sam. Sam...

It was a woman!

Oh! Oh, Sam.

Harold!

Hi.

Hey.
Where are you going?

Nowhere in particular.

I thought I'd go into town.

I'll give you a ride.

I thought I'd look around.
You know, sightsee.

Ah, look.

Since today is my day off,
we can do it together.

Would you like that?

Who wouldn't?

Sure.
It sounds like fun.

Great! Hop in.

Lee, I spoke to Heather
this morning,

and she invited us to a party
tomorrow afternoon

at the Country Club.

Well, I told her
I was going to ask you

but I was sure
it would be all right.

Listen,
wait until you meet Carla.

You've got it all
figured out, haven't you?

What are you talking about?

Sweetheart,
just because we made love,

it doesn't mean we have
to pick out furniture.

I didn't mean anything, Lee.

I just wanted my
friends to meet you.

Look,
something came up.

I have to take off this afternoon.

I'll call you, okay?

You'll call me.

Yeah.

We'll have dinner
some time,

you know, a few drinks.

Well, it seems our relationship
has come to a bloody end.

Tell me, Mr. Kingman,
how was I?

Oh, come on, Beth.
You're a big girl now.

We made it together
and that's it.

Yeah.

Well, I guess I'm a real dummy.

You know, I believed the
things that you told me.

I thought that you might... just
might have been different.

You believed what
you wanted to believe.

Look, baby, it was you

who wanted to find a
big summer romance

so you could spend all winter

telling the girls
what a ball I was.

So, you got me
all figured out.

Well, let me give you
some advice.

The next time you wake up
in some guy's bed,

don't nail him to the cross.
It never works.

Well, the next time

I fall in love,

I'll have it all straightened
out before we have sex,

or should I do it your way?

Look, can I drop you
some place?

No, thanks, pal.

I think you just did.

Yeah.
Well, I'll call you.

We'll have those drinks.
And you take care, huh?

It's been fun.

Hello?

Oh, hi, Heather.
What you doing?

Uh-huh.

Oh, yeah.

Hi.

- Be with you in a minute.
- Okay.

The Country Club?

Yeah, sounds great.

OK. OK.

Talk to you later.
Bye, bye.

Hey!

And just what can I do for you,
Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome?

Well, I was just driving by,
and I thought I'd stop in

and tell you how much
I love your body.

Oh!

And what else do you love,
Officer Mike?

Oh, I love your mind,
your very soul,

enough to know that I can
never live without you.

This is it for me, baby.

I'm going to join
the Foreign Legion.

I am a ruined man.

Well, just what can
I do to un-ruin you?

Well, the only thing that
you can do to cure me

is come to my apartment

and we make love again
and again and again and again...

Okay, okay.
You win.

Listen,
let me ask you this question.

How would you like to take me
to a party at the Country Club?

I love to take you anywhere.

What do say we start
with my place?

You bring the booze.
I'll bring the body.

And what about the loving?

Mike, will you stop kidding.
I have to go now.

Hey, hey. Who's kidding?
I'm serious.

Mike, I've got
to... Mike, Mike... Mike?

Excuse me.

Yeah.
What can I do for you?

I'm looking for Paula.
Have you seen her?

I don't know.

I think she left maybe
about an hour ago

to go down to the dock.

Thank you anyway.

It's okay.

Hello?

Hi, Beth.

Brea, is Carla there?

Uh-uh,
I haven't seen her,

and I've been in the house
a couple of hours.

Oh.

Well, listen.
When you see her,

tell her that Nick and I
are here getting bombed,

and we're going to drink
Margaritas until

the bartender raises
the Mexican flag,

and then I think
I'll go drown myself.

Beth, is something wrong?
Are you all right?

Huh, what could be wrong?

Bye, bye.

Bye.

You all set?

Yeah um,

could you tie this for me?

Sure.

What's the matter?

I guess,
I'm a little nervous.

I mean, do this for
my sister all the time

but she isn't as big as...

I mean, you're beautiful.

Harold, what if we didn't
go back to camp tonight?

I mean,
what if I call them?

Call?

After we go swimming
we could have a dinner

and watch TV and...

Would you like that?

Call them?

Son of a gun... who wouldn't?!

- OK?
- OK.

When you're done,

my cleaning needs
to be picked up.

Hey, listen.

Why don't you pile
that a little more neatly?

You made an awful mess
the last time.

What are you doing?

You take a lot for granted.

You were told never to
come in to this house again

unless you were asked.

Now, get out!

Listen,
I said get up,

put one foot
in front of the other

and get out of my house.

Look, you son-of-a-bitch!

Just shut up.

You move out of that spot
and I'm going to bust your tail.

Do you hear me?
Do you hear me?!

Don't you understand anything?

You've had so much
for so long.

You don't know
what's real anymore.

You've so protected yourself

that nobody is going
to get through to you.

I know you're afraid

because we're all afraid
but it's okay.

Really.

Sure, there's hurt and pain
but there's love, too,

and there are all
different kinds of love.

Listen Heather,

the more real
you are with people,

the more real they're going
to have to be with you.

Don't be afraid of life.

Trust someone.

Trust me.

Don.

Do I really seem
that way to you?

Yes.

But I don't want to.

I really don't want to.

Then just open up.

Just let someone in.

Hi.

Hi, yourself.

I didn't mean to wake you.

You didn't.

I wasn't really asleep.

Did you have a nice day?

Best day I've ever had.

What are you laughing at?

I was just thinking

if Aaron and those creeps
could see me now.

Are you going to tell them?

No way.

Let them think
what they want.

Besides nothing happened.

No, it didn't.

Brea?

Yes.

You're very pretty.

You're beautiful.

Thank you.

I'll never forget you, ever.

We won't forget each other.

Brea?

What?

I've never made love
with a woman before.

You are now, Harold.

Aw, Nicky!

Listen, woman.

I got a deal for you.

Hmm.
I don't know about your deals.

No.
What I was going to say was

of six months of the year,

you come up and live with me;

and six months of the year,
I'll come and live with you.

Why, you little dickens, you.

That's no deal,
that's a proposition.

Yeah.
I know.

Heather told me to
stay away from you.

She said you were no good.

Well, maybe she is jealous.

I've known Heather
since she was a little girl.

I grew up around here.

Her father was an
old friend of mine.

Doesn't having a relationship
like that bother you?

What bother?

What could be more fun
than making love

to beautiful young girls?

Heather has never
complained to me yet.

I guess most young girls
have a father complex.

They like making it
with an older man.

What about your wife?

Does she know about
all your bad habits?

Sylvia does put up with a lot.

She needs me.

I guess when a woman
gets to be her age,

she grows insecure,

not much to offer anymore

but she loves me.

What kind of a jail sentence
do you think you can get

for contributing to the
delinquency of a minor?

Well, all I can tell you is

I think your cousin
is going to go home

a little older
and a little wiser.

Just as long as she doesn't
go home a little pregnant.

You're going to be just like
your father, Arnold.

Play around with
all the young girls.

Who cares about me?

Don't you love your mother?
Don't you love your mother?

Arnold.

Arnold!

Everybody down!

Everybody down!

Everybody down...

Arnie?

Oh my God, Arnie.

You're going to be just like
your father, Arnold.

Play around with
all the young girls.

Who cares about me?

Arnold, don't you
love your mother?

Oh, I wish you were dead.

I wish you were dead.

I wish you were dead!

Well, gang, after a
wild summer of romance,

mystery, and a whole
lot of excitement,

I think I'm just about
ready to hit the books.

Eh, Paula?

I'll tell you one thing.

Hobbs, New Mexico
will never be the same.

Wow.

This is one vacation
I'll never forget.

Right.

Oh, it was beautiful.

Absolutely beautiful.

Brea, remind me sometime

to ask you about that
little old boys camp.

What do you call it?

- Wanachee.
- Wanachee.

Camp Wanachee.

And if I told you, Carla,
you would never believe it.

So, I thought I'd title the book,

"How Much Mischief Can a Girl
Get Into if She Really Tries."

What do you think?

Well, I think we had enough
experiences this summer

to write 10 books.

Yeah,
but have we really suffered?

Oh.

Guess we have!

Hi.

Let's get this show
on the road.

Baby, let's get it on.

Where to next?
Come on.

Come on, let's go!