All language subtitles for The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle 2000

1964, a crucial moment
in American history.

Lyndon Johnson is re-elected to
the presidency by a landslide,

the New York World's Fair
introduces a bright new future

and after five scintillating
years on the air...

Presto!

...The Rocky and Bullwinkle
Show is abruptly canceled.

Canceled? Canceled?

Sorry about that, boys.

A lot has changed in 35 years.
Velcro has replaced the zipper.

Sneakers have lights on them.
The Cold War is over.

And The Rocky
and Bullwinkle Show

is still canceled.

Frostbite Falls, Minnesota,

once the beloved home
of Rocky and Bullwinkle

had been a thriving
cartoon town.

Now, it was crippled
by years of reruns.

The beautiful
Frostbite Falls Forest

decimated.

The once majestic falls
above Veronica Lake

devastated.

While the narrator, that's me,
down on his luck and out of a job,

was forced to move in
with his mother,

where he was reduced to narrating
the events of his own life.

With a speed and dexterity

astonishing in a woman
of her advancing years,

Mother bastes the chicken,
tosses the salad,

and mashes the potatoes.

Oh, sonny, shut up!

Ow!

And in a little house
at the top of a stump forest,

Rocky and Bullwinkle themselves

were forced to subsist on
ever-diminishing residual checks

from reruns of their old show.

World famous television stars
whose adventures

once took them
all over the globe,

now their exploits
were just a memory.

Yes, it was a melancholy
time, indeed.

Rocky the flying squirrel
hadn't flown in years.

What's the point?

I guess the world just doesn't
need us anymore, Bullwinkle.

Say, where are you going? All this
exposition is wearing me out.

I'm going for a walk
in the woods.

But, Bullwinkle, there
aren't any woods anymore.

Well, you don't
have to tell me.

I'm the chairman of the Frostbite Falls
Society for Wildlife Conversation.

You mean wildlife conservation.
What did I say?

You said,
"Wildlife conversation."

Well, somebody's gotta start
talking about these things.

Yes, even their wordplay had
become hackneyed and cheap.

No, it was always like this.

But times were just as tough
halfway across the drawing

in the former Soviet satellite
of Pottsylvania,

where Rocky and Bullwinkle's
archrivals, Boris and Natasha,

and their fearless leader,
Fearless Leader,

were cooking up their latest
scheme for taking over the world,

when their plans were crushed by
the fall of the Iron Curtain.

What's going on?

But while the citizens of Pottsylvania
rejoiced in their newfound freedom...

Yay!

...Fearless Leader and his
cohorts went underground,

whereupon they embarked
upon a terrifying plan.

A plan that would take them
to a strange new land

where the line between cartoon
and reality is so thin,

that's it's hard to tell
one from the other.

A place where, with the right special effects,
it might just be possible to break through

to the other side!

It was a beautiful and smoggy
day at Phony Pictures Studio,

where an ambitious junior
executive named Minnie Mogul

was busy searching
for a hot new script.

Too intelligent.

Too intelligent.

Hello, Minnie.

Holy mackerel! Who are you?

Three of the most terrifying villains in
the history of children's television.

How do you do?
Nice to meet you.

What do you want?

We were wondering,

how would you like to produce
the Rocky and Bullwinkle movie?

I'd love to. I love it.
What is it?

It's classic American cartoon
from early '60s.

Mmm-hmm.

Listen, Minnie, we're stuck in reruns,
you're looking for a project.

Maybe we can help
each other out.

This contract gives you all rights
to The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show.

All you have to do
is sign right here,

and your first producing
endeavor is as good as gold.

What's the matter?

I can't sign a contract that will
help three ruthless villains

take over the world.
I just can't.

Why not?

My pen's out of ink.

Use mine. Okay.

And then, through the miracle

of computer-generated
digital technology,

Minnie reached into the television
set and signed the contract.

But when she tried
to pull the contract out,

the expensive animated characters
were instantly converted

into even more expensive
motion picture stars.

Hey! How did that happen?

We are attached to the project.

But even though the pun was weak,
the contract was ironclad.

And the three villains
walked out of the studio

and into the real world,

while Minnie marched
straight into the office

of Phony Pictures CEO,
P.G. Biggershot.

But unfortunately for her,

when she pitched her project
to the powerful executive,

she ran into
an unexpected snag.

I don't like moose pictures.

So while Minnie's motion
picture plans were stymied,

back in Frostbite Falls, Bullwinkle
got a rare flash of inspiration.

It is kind of hot in here.
I've been inspiring for hours.

Hey, where are you going?

I'm going to the White House, to talk
to the President about the trees.

So Rocky and Bullwinkle set off
on the road to Washington.

I don't know, Bullwinkle,
it looks a little jammed.

Horse feathers!
How bad could it be?

Look at all the red tape!

Don't worry, little buddy.

I'm sure the President will send for
us after all the letters I wrote him.

Why, I bet any second now

or two, or three, or four.

There the matter
seemed destined to rest

until six months later,
in Washington, DC,

when idealistic, warmhearted and
beautiful FBI agent, Karen Sympathy,

was summoned to the office
of hard-boiled FBI director,

Cappy Von Trapment.

Agent Sympathy,

given all your bungled assignments in
the past, I suppose you were wondering

why I picked you for this mission.
Yes, sir.

Sympathy, allow me to be frank.

This job requires
the ideal FBI agent,

someone tough, someone
hard-bitten, someone emotionless.

Do you understand?

Yes, sir. Tough,
hard-boiled, unemotional.

Good.

Are you familiar with
The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show?

Oh!

I mean,

I've heard of it.

Seventeen and a half
short minutes later...

Mr. President, this is a
regular, network TV station.

President Signoff, standing
firmly in the middle of the road.

But look what happens
when we switch to cable.

For the last six months, a cartoon villain
from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle Show

named Fearless Leader
has been buying up

every single hour of cable
programming in this country,

forming a single gigantic
network called RBTV,

or Really Bad Television.

According to our sources,
three days from now.

Fearless Leader plans to
broadcast TV shows so terrible,

they'll turn anyone who watches
them into a mindless zombie,

incapable of
independent thought.

Totally different
than regular TV.

The RBTV broadcast starts
at noon on Saturday.

By 8:00 that night,

Fearless Leader will have hypnotized
enough viewers that he can go on the air

and make the whole country
vote for him as President.

Well, that's no good.

No. No, I mean, uh,

I want to be President again.
Yes.

We all know that, sir.

Well, can't the Pentagon
do something about this?

Any recommendations?
General Foods?

General Store?
General Admission?

We can't think of anything,
Mr. President.

Can't the FBI
do anything, Cappy?

We've already sent three crack
agents to infiltrate RBTV.

They've disappeared.

It's almost as if there were
a mole in the White House.

That's just ridiculous.

Yes, sir.

Mr. President, our only chance is to
call on those two gallant heroes,

who successfully foiled Fearless
Leader's schemes for world conquest

back when he posed a threat in the 1960s.
If anyone can stop him, they can.

Rocky and Bullwinkle!

Rocky and Bullwinkle, sir.

Sympathy, you've got
exactly 46 hours

to get Rocky and
Bullwinkle to New York

and shut down Fearless
Leader's broadcast.

Thank you, sir. I won't fail.
Just be careful.

We've already lost three of our best agents.
So good luck.

Oh, sir, just one thing.

How do I get Rocky and
Bullwinkle out of reruns?

I don't know.

Fearless Leader and those other
two got out somehow, didn't they?

Figure it out!

And, Sympathy, remember,
we only care about results.

Within the hour, Karen was
en route to Los Angeles.

She was determined to give the
Rocky and Bullwinkle movie

the green light.

What's happening?
Cobs and shuckins, Rock!

The President must be
beaming us to Washington!

That's not the President,
Bullwinkle.

That's a green light
from Hollywood.

Those TV people must've
changed their minds.

Goodbye, Sonny!

I'll be back for hiatus, Ma!

Hang on, Rocky!

Mama!

Hokey smoke! Are you all right?

Yeah, but I think
we're on the wrong show.

Look how well
they drew that girl!

It's you.

It's really you!

Rocky

and Bull,

Bull,

Bull... I believe the word

you're searching for
is "winkle."

Bullwinkle. Hey, what
network are you from?

I'm not from any network.

Agent Karen Sympathy, FBI.

Listen, you guys, I've
been sent here because...

Somebody's coming. We gotta
get out of here, fast.

Quick! Let's go
to a commercial!

What is this, PBS? Come on!

Let's go! Hold it
right there, lady!

Just a second!

This way!

Hey, wait for me!

Ow!

Ow!

Bullwinkle, I don't think
we're on television anymore.

Bullwinkle, can you rappel?

Sure! I've been repelling
viewers for years!

Never mind. Get on my back.
I'll carry you down.

What about Rocky? He's a flying squirrel.
He'll manage.

Uh...

Hurry up, Rocky! Fly down!

Just like old times.

Oh, my God! Are you all right?
Rocky! You okay?

Sure, just out of practice.

Moments later...

Agent Sympathy, can I ask
you something personal?

Did you watch our show?

Did I watch your show?
I loved your show!

You did? Sure!

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted
to have adventures like you guys.

That's why I joined the Bureau.
Really?

But that little girl
doesn't exist anymore, Rocky.

They don't want
her kind in the FBI.

I do exist! I do exist!
Let me out!

There's something in your eye.
No, there's not.

All right, we need
to get to New York

and stop Fearless Leader's
broadcast within 40 hours.

Wait a minute!
Why don't we take an airplane?

Because then it wouldn't
be a road movie.

We don't know how, but Fearless
Leader, Boris and Natasha

escaped from the cartoon world
into the real world.

So the President sent me to...
Of course!

The President got my
letters about the trees!

What trees?
The Frostbite Falls Forest.

I knew he would respond.

Look, we don't have time...
Bullwinkle,

this lady isn't here
about the trees.

She's from the FBI.

Didn't they take
our show off the air?

You mean the FCC.
Didn't they like it either?

Look... Can you believe

we used to get paid for this routine?
Would you listen to me, please?

Finally, in a crisis of
conscience, Karen decided to tell

an untruth.

Okay, you're right.
The President sent me

because he wants
you to head the, um,

uh,

Committee for Animated
Wildlife Preservation.

Ooh!

Okay? That's not what
you said before!

I was building up to it.
What kind of music is that?

Hip-hop. Okay,

but I'd still like to know
what kind of music it is.

That's funny, the radio's off.
That's just Bullwinkle.

His antlers pick up everything.

Bullwinkle, cover up your nose!

Okay. I was just
getting jiggy with it.

They sure don't have music
like that in Frostbite Falls.

Agent Sympathy, have things changed
a lot in the last 35 years?

Just you wait and see.

As dawn broke
over the City of Angels,

our valiant protagonists boldly
rocketed toward the beckoning horizon

of a strange, new
three-dimensional world

and the unimaginable perils
that lay on the road ahead.

While on the other side
of the country,

at Fearless Leader's
headquarters,

Really Bad Television...

My fellow Pottsylvanians,

this is the quality control.

It will enhance or degrade the quality
of whatever you run through it.

If the input show
is bad enough,

the quality control will exaggerate
its mind-numbing properties

until the audience
is completely hypnotized.

So, Badenov, these shows
had better be terrible!

Don't worry, Fearless Leader.

We are ready to test the machine.
Ready to test machine!

Put on your protective glasses.
Put on protective glasses!

Badenov, proceed with the test.

Badenov, proceed with test!

Sometimes, it's not so easy
being Fearless Leader.

Coming to your TV,

brand new exciting shows
of the highest fun!

So, if adventure
is your best ingredient,

try the action with Clever Spies
Crush The Enemy On Monday!

And the laughter
never gets away

with Three Funny and Wacky
Spies and Their Horse,

Who Will Also Be A Spy.

It works!

Silence!

It's a message from my mole
at the White House.

Moose and Squirrel!

Moose and Squirrel.

How many times in the past have they
stood between me and my dreams of glory?

How many times have they foiled my plans
with their bungling interference?

Twenty-eight? Quiet, idiot!

They must never
reach New York alive.

I want you to destroy
them personally.

After 30 years of waiting,

one more chance to crush
Moose and Squirrel!

Oh, Fearless Leader,
you are so good to us!

There has never been a way to
actually destroy a cartoon character,

until now! What about in
that movie, Roger Rabbit?

Shut up!
This is totally different!

There has never been a way to
actually destroy a cartoon character,

until now.

This is the Computer
Degenerating Imagery.

Show them, Sydney.

The Computer Degenerating Imagery
or CDI, as I like to call it,

is totally user-friendly.
Just index the binary codes

of the animated image
you're gonna degenerate,

and the CDI will dismantle the digital
image on your film stock. Okay?

Bring in the test subject!

No! This is what
I was afraid of.

I've been tricked!
Please, don't send me there.

Please don't send me there!

Now I know what happened to
my friend Freddy the Ferret

and those cute
little bunnies...

Okay, now all you gotta do
is type in an address

and send him where all
worthless cyber junk ends up.

The Internet!

Let go of my paw.
You broke my nail!

So, that's all there is to it.

Here's the manual,
and she's all yours.

I assume you're both
computer literate?

We don't need computer weapon
to kill Moose and Squirrel!

We've been trying to kill Moose
and Squirrel for 35 years!

And we've never even come close.
Exactly.

And so, armed with the CDI

and a truckload full of really
silly cartoon weaponry,

Boris and Natasha set off
to blast Rocky and Bullwinkle

from the face of the Earth

and immediately
got stuck in traffic.

While back at RBTV...

Dear Diary, soon the
presidency will be mine.

As for this FBI agent,
Karen Sympathy,

I will deal with her the same way I
dealt with the three agents before her.

At the moment of truth,
she will be plugged directly

into the quality control element
and turned into a helpless,

mindless vegetable.

You know, I used to be
just like you guys.

Cheerful, optimistic.

But if there's one thing I learned in the
FBI, it's that life is not a cartoon.

Look out!

Out of the car!
What's the rush?

All right,
I'm going, I'm going.

- Are you all right?
- Of course.

- Guess I should have figured.
- But not for long!

Hey, Rock,
they look kind of familiar.

Yeah! Haven't we seen those
two somewheres before?

What's with the cannon?

It's traditional!

Run!

Boris Badenov!

I've seen you on TV.

You're a crooked, creepy,
no-good rotten worm.

Oh...

Thank you.

You're slimy, sneaky, sleazy... Please!
You'll turn my pretty head.

You're a sadistic spy

and a

really, really bad person!

Stop! You're embarrassing me.

Where is boom?

Boris, darling,

maybe it's time to
update our technique.

Oh!

Fearless Leader!
We're so happy you called!

Have you liquidated
Moose and Squirrel?

Did you use the CDI?

Yes.

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Then who else
are you talking to?

Are you talking to me?

Well, I'm the only one here,

so you must be talking to me,

and you are lying!

Now, catch Moose and Squirrel, and
next time use the CDI on them!

But, Karen, we can't ride to
the rescue in a stolen truck.

Yeah. Why couldn't you steal
something with bucket seats?

Bullwinkle! Just kidding, Rock.

It's just not right. It's not right?
What are you talking about?

They wrecked our car!
They were trying to kill us!

But we're supposed
to be the heroes.

Rocky, it's not 1964 anymore.
You're in the real world now.

Rocky's right, Karen. And two
rights don't make a wrong.

Bullwinkle, that's
not what you mean.

You mean two rights
do make a wrong? No!

I always thought two
rights made a U-turn.

I don't know how much
more of this I can take.

Well, let's find out.
Two U-turns make a circle,

two circles make
a figure eight,

two figure eights
make a butterfly...

Look, all I want from you
guys are results. Okay?

It was their first fight.

And so, racked
with internal conflicts,

they made their way across the great
divide and onto the Great Plains.

Hey, look at that, Rock!
What a strange looking town!

And while Bullwinkle
pondered the modern world,

several states back, Boris and Natasha
were still tramping along the road.

If only we had a helicopter.

But, since they were
in the middle of the desert,

there was obviously no chance
whatsoever of finding a helicopter.

Boris, look!

Oh, damn! Never mind.

Natasha, quick.

What luck!

Great googly moogly!
Holy cow! What the...

Hey, listen, now, darn it! That's
the third time this month!

And I'm sick and tired
of shopping for helicopters.

Boy, if I had a missile, I'd blow
your buns right out of the sky!

Yes, Boris and Natasha
were back in business,

but they had no way of discovering
the route our heroes had taken...

Hey! You can't do that!

Interstate 1, just outside
Red Bait, Oklahoma, darling.

- Cheaters.
- Thank you.

And high above
our unsuspecting heroes...

- State police?
- Yes, ma'am?

This is FBI Agent
Karen Sympathy.

All right, I'm sorry I yelled,
but you don't understand,

I can't mess up this time.

This time?
Was there a last time?

Tell us about yourself, Karen.

Let's just say I've made

mistakes.

Look, I can't blow this one.
The whole world depends on it,

and I can't do it
without your help.

Agent Sympathy, you can
count on Bullwinkle and me.

We won't let you down. No.

Thanks, you guys.

You know, I'm glad Cappy
picked me for this mission.

I think we're gonna
make a great team.

Oh, no.

And just as this sentimental moment
had mercifully come to a close,

our heroes were pulled over
by two state troopers

and a cameraman
from the hit TV show,

Made Up Stories
From the Real Highway Patrol.

Step out of the vehicle
with your hands up, please!

It's okay, Officers, I'm with the FBI.
Step out of the vehicle now!

Hey, Rock, your face is all blurry.
So's yours.

This truck matches the description
of a vehicle reported stolen

outside Red Bait, Oklahoma,
just a couple of hours ago.

You are under arrest
for grand theft auto

and for impersonating
FBI agent, Karen Sympathy.

I am FBI Agent Karen Sympathy!
Like fun you are.

We both know Agent Karen Sympathy
has a heavy Pottsylvanian accent.

We heard her on the radio.

But she really is with the FBI!

Yeah, and I'm really
John Goodman.

Let's get in the car.
Just one minute, Officer!

Wherever she goes, we go. Yeah,
that's right. We're a team!

Well, she's going off to the federal pen
to break rocks for the next five years.

Okay, well, don't forget to write.
Bullwinkle!

I guess we could always appear at your
trial as animated character witnesses!

No! Rocky, Bullwinkle,

it's your duty to get to New
York by 8:00 p.m. tomorrow.

Karen, we can't leave you now.
Hey, I'm an FBI agent, remember?

I'll straighten this out
and catch up with you later.

But we've never been
in the real world before.

You'll do great. I know it.

Hey! What about our faces?

Oh. Sorry.

Wait, you can't just leave them on
the side of the road like that.

They don't even know
where they are.

Don't worry, ma'am.
They're animals.

They'll forage.

Come on, Rock,
time's a-wasting!

We owe it to Karen to see the
President about the trees.

Trees? Bullwinkle,
we have to go to New York.

We don't have time
to get to Washington!

This is no time to worry about
getting the washing done.

Not "washing done." Washington!

A ton? Well, that is
a lot of laundry.

Bullwinkle, that joke
just won't wash.

Well, you can't
blame me for drying!

I think I'll fly ahead.

But it was just no use.

Faced with the utter hopelessness
of their predicament,

the razor-sharp mind of Bullwinkle
quickly formulated a daring plan.

Help! Help!
Somebody please help!

Help!

So, on they walked,
two lone figures,

making their way through a foreign
and hostile live-action landscape.

I thought you said
we were in Oklahoma.

Would you like to
narrate this movie? No.

And so, on they walked,
two lone figures,

making their way through a foreign
and hostile live-action landscape.

They walked until their thumbs ached,
but no one wanted to take a chance

on a six-foot seven talking moose and
a flying squirrel who couldn't fly.

I could fly if I had to.

Kind of makes you
feel discouraged.

Maybe we should be a
little more aggressive.

Stop!

This movie's getting kind of...
Don't say it!

...two-dimensional.

Yes, things were beginning to look
mighty dark for our intrepid heroes.

It is getting kind of hard to see.
Bullwinkle, he means our situation.

Oh.

Wait a minute, boys, there's
a couple of headlights.

I think it's...

Yes! Yes!

It was a couple of fresh-faced college
students named Martin and Lewis.

Come on, Rock!
It's a convertible!

All right, buckle up now, fellows.
Yeah, safety first!

So where do you boys
go to school?

We're undergrads
at Wossamotta U.

- Wossamotta U.!
- Wossamotta U.!

My old alma mater!

Bullwinkle was a big
football star at Wossamotta U.

Quarter-buck! I thought
you looked familiar.

Where are you fellows
coming from, anyway?

Thank you!
We've been on the road,

looking for America. We've been
looking for America all day.

We just can't find it.
Man, we're exhausted.

Gee, fellows, perhaps you've
been looking too hard.

Maybe America is all around you

in a thousand different,
beautiful manifestations.

Wouldn't you say so,
young people?

Yeah, right. Yeah, right.

Rocky, haven't we passed
this town before?

Following ominously above them
in the Midwestern sky,

Boris conceived
a sinister plan.

Flying ahead to Wossamotta U.,

the two villains made a sizable
donation to the college

in Bullwinkle's name,

prompting the college president
to bestow upon Bullwinkle

an honorary moosters degree.

And when Moose is at podium
for acceptance speech,

I'll be on water tower
with CDI.

There was only one problem.

Wossamotta U.
Had no water tower.

Can't even find water fountain.

Their entire scheme seemed to
be on the verge of collapse,

until they hit upon
an incredibly ingenious plan.

What?

Dawn broke at 6:00 a.m.

The day of Fearless Leader's deadly
broadcast had finally arrived.

And there was Karen, toiling
away under the watchful eyes

of a tall, blond, incredibly handsome,
Swedish-American prison guard

named Ole.

Several states away,
our hitchhiking heroes

were doggedly making their way
to New York,

but little did they know
they were driving

straight into Boris Badenov's
sinister snare.

Heavens to Betsy! The car is
sticking its tongue out at me!

No, it's not. It's just a fax.

A what? A what?

A fax! Don't you guys
know about faxes?

Yeah, don't you
know about e-mail?

Sure. A fax is a little red critter
that steals geese and chickens.

Half of them are males and
the other half are e-males.

No, it's a way of transmitting
computer-generated information

across great distances
in the blink of an eye.

Well, I was close.

Hey! It's for you. Hokey
smoke, Bullwinkle!

Wossamotta U. Wants to give
you an honorary degree.

And the ceremony is today!

Bullwinkle, we don't have time to go.
We've gotta get to New York!

Woe is me!
I must have my degree!

I'll put it on the wall
for everyone to see.

I guess if it's in
the name of education.

It was a happy day
at Wossamotta U.,

scene of Bullwinkle's
football triumphs years ago.

Gee, it looks so different.
Everything's in the same place, but...

Well, Wossamotta U.'s been
a live-action university

since the show went
into reruns back in '64.

I thought the buildings looked
a lot more realistic.

Say, where you guys
been all this time?

Reruns.

You know that's never
gonna happen to us, right?

Well, anyway, there's still a
lot of anti-cartoon feeling

on campus these days.

Hokey smoke, Bullwinkle!

It's some kind
of demonstration.

What are the kids protesting these days?
Is it a civil rights march?

Not really.
Is it an anti-war rally?

No, not exactly.

Tell them, fellows.

It's an anti-moose march.

Yes, it seems that a
raging controversy

had broken out among the
students that very morning

over the decision to give
Bullwinkle an honorary degree.

Gee, Bullwinkle, I guess it's true.
You can't go home again.

Why, Rocky! Whatever do you mean?
Wossamotta U. Is home!

Oh, brother!

Look! There's the
animated freak now!

My fans!
Bullwinkle, these aren't fans,

this is an angry mob.

But in the face of danger,
our insipid hero

bravely made his way
through the angry crowd.

You mean intrepid hero,
don't you?

No.

Hundreds of miles away,
in Red Bait, Oklahoma,

it was time for the prisoners'
daily helping of disgusting slop.

But Karen Sympathy
had succeeded in making Ole,

the simple-minded but incredibly
handsome prison guard,

fall madly in love with her.

Presently, Karen promised to
let him take her to the movies

if he would help her
break out of jail.

Could we hold hands
in the movie theater?

Of course we could, Ole.

But how would we
eat our popcorn?

Well, we could eat our popcorn
with one hand

and hold hands with the other.

But what if I want a soda?
Look,

I'm sure we can work this out.

Good morning, students.

Today Wossamotta U.
Honors one of our own.

As the students vented their
collective spleen at Bullwinkle,

Rocket J. Squirrel anxiously surveyed
the raging crowd for signs of danger.

And suddenly,
his sharp little eyes

picked out the terrifying
figure of Boris Badenov

near the top
of the water tower.

Hey! That guy's not
a college student!

...that we present this honorary
degree to Bullwinkle J. Moose.

Good morning, children. Today's
lecture is about trees.

Bullwinkle, look out!
It's a trap!

Rocky's voice couldn't carry

over the strident
shouts of the student body.

So, with no alternative in
sight, Rocky tried one more time

to summon up those faded
aeronautical skills

that had once made him
a household name.

But just then, Boris managed
to turn on the CDI.

Aha!

Yes, it looked like
curtains for Bullwinkle!

Got to

save.

Bullwinkle!

Whoa!

"Bad command or file name.
Press any key to continue."

Which one is "any" key?

Look out!

Oh, no!

With a single blow, Rocky sent the
CDI hurtling through the sky.

Whereupon Boris single-mindedly
reached out to catch

the catapulted computer,
forgetting as he did

one vitally important
piece of information.

I ain't a cartoon no more.

Darling!

Ouch.

Mayday!

You like me!
You really like me!

I guess I've lost the knack.
I'll never fly again.

Yes, without trees,
where would the birdies live?

Forced to migrate
to the cities,

they would take jobs away
from local pigeons.

Bullwinkle, they're listening!

Yes, Bullwinkle's
speech was so inane,

that the students couldn't
understand a word he was saying,

and consequently found nothing
to object to.

So Rocky and Bullwinkle
bade a fond farewell

to the hallowed walls
of Wossamotta U.

Don't forget to write,
old buddy.

Bullwinkle,
who are you talking to?

I don't know, but it's
like talking to a wall.

I want to thank you fellows
for bringing unity back

to this troubled campus
with your ludicrous remarks.

Martin and I would like to wish you
guys luck against Fearless Leader.

Yeah, I mean, and we would
come help you guys,

but we don't wanna get hurt. Yeah,
man, we're not going near him.

Yeah, and until we met you guys, I mean,
we almost totally lost faith in America.

Yeah, you know,
and we lost faith in our car.

Yeah, I mean I used to think our car was
really cool, but now it's just always dirty.

And running low on gas.

Yeah, but since we met you
guys, we love it again.

Yeah, the car is totally back.

So, as a gesture of our appreciation,
we want you guys to have it.

Yeah, so, take the car. Really?

It's yours.

Whoa!

Gee, fellows, thanks.
Yeah, thanks!

You do know how to drive, right?
Please!

What moose can't
drive a automobile?

Oh, brother.

Never said I could
drive it well.

And just as Rocky and Bullwinkle
got back on the road,

Boris and Natasha emerged
from the student infirmary,

ready for action.

Meanwhile, in Cow Tip,
Oklahoma...

Ole, why don't you go get the
tickets, and I'll park the truck?

Gosh, Karen!

I've never had so much fun
in my whole life.

It's like,

it's like there was always a little
boy trapped somewhere inside me,

and now that I met you,

I can finally let him out.

Please, two for the love movie.
There you go.

Now, that's not very nice.

Shut up.

As for Rocky and Bullwinkle,

they were gently motoring
along an Illinois interstate.

Hey, Rock, there's
that same town again!

Are you sure
we're going the right way?

Bullwinkle, look out!

Sorry!

Bullwinkle, we're not
going to Chicago!

We are now!

As our heroes found themselves
racing toward Chicago,

little did they realize that
only a few miles behind...

And back in Cow Tip, Oklahoma,

the only person in this movie
more clueless than Bullwinkle

faithfully waited for Karen to
get back from parking his truck.

But our heroine was already
passing through Indiana,

where she was about to make
an ominous discovery.

For watching miserable people
suffer in daytime,

it's The Jenny Spy Show.

Are you sorry
that you called her fat?

Yes! Yes!

Oh, no. Not already.

Yes, Fearless Leader's
hypnotic broadcast

was already underway.

You are watching premiere
broadcast of RBTV.

I love my RBTV.

Fearless Leader,

the zombombeter shows that 30%
of despised, decadent Americans

are already total zombies!
Good!

I'll address the nation at exactly 8:00 p.m.
Eastern Standard Time.

Back at the Red Bait
Prison Farm,

Karen's daring escape
had not gone unnoticed.

Meanwhile on the bustling
boulevards of Chicago, Illinois,

Rocky and Bullwinkle
were about to discover

they had considerable
troubles of their own.

There they are!

Look out!

Smush them!

Duck!

Well, mercy me!

Excuse us!

Bullwinkle!

It's Rocky and Bullwinkle!

And you thought I couldn't drive.
Bullwinkle, look out!

Hold her steady, poopsie.

Is time to say goodbye

to Moose and Squirrel.

Oh, no!

Hasta la vista, baby!

Hey, poopsie, what's happening?

I think you degenerated
wrong special effect.

And while Rocky and Bullwinkle
were making their getaway,

Boris and Natasha were still
high above the Chicago streets,

but with one small difference.

No helicopter.

But as luck would have it,
a traveling mattress salesman

just happened
to be passing by below.

Mattresses for sale!
How do I do it? Volume!

Now, that's a soft mattress.

Temporarily out of danger,

Rocky and Bullwinkle
breathed a sigh of relief.

At the same time, Boris and
Natasha were forced to rent

an econo-class Chevy Metro from
the Cheapo Rent-A-Car company

in order to resume the chase.

This slight delay gave our
heroes the opportunity

to effect another beautiful, if
implausibly coincidental, reunion.

Whoops.

Hey, lunatic! Why don't
you watch where you're...

Rocky! Bullwinkle!

Karen! Karen!

Guys, I missed you so much.
I was so worried about you.

I didn't mean to...

I mean, um...

Good work, Agents
Rocky, Bullwinkle.

Lookit, we have six hours
to get to New York.

The Big Apple!
Bullwinkle, please!

RBTV is already turning people
into zombies.

But, Karen,
why aren't you in jail?

Oh. Uh...

I was pardoned.

Freeze! Freeze!

Must be some kind
of clerical error.

You're under arrest.

Keep your hands
high above your head!

And just to think,

it's the opening
of moose season.

- The states of California,
- Arizona, New Mexico,

Colorado, Kansas, Oklahoma,
Missouri, Illinois,

Indiana and Ohio,
versus Karen Sympathy,

Rocket J. Squirrel
and Bullwinkle J. Moose.

Judge Cameo presiding.

Who speaks for the defense?

Bullwinkle J. Moose,
attorney at law.

Hey, hey, hey! Hey!

The defendants are charged with
grand theft auto, one count,

breaking out of jail,
one count,

impugning the character
of a prison guard, one count,

reckless driving, four counts,

talking to the audience...

What? ...Five counts,

criminally bad punning,
18 counts.

And three dukes
and seven earls!

Make that 19.

Hey! Hey!

Counselor,
call your first witness.

Yes, Your Honor. As our first
witness, the defense calls.

Karen Sympathy!

Please, no.

Do you, Karen Sympathy,
swear to tell the truth,

the whole truth and nothing but
the truth, so help you God?

I do.

Ha!

A little late!

Ms. Sympathy, isn't it true
that when our convertible

was destroyed
in Monument Valley

the first thing you did was to
steal somebody else's truck?

Um...

That depends on how you legally
define the word steal,

because I believe... And
didn't you escape from prison

by telling that poor,
trusting prison guard

that you would let him
take you to the movies?

Well, I thought we might have time
if we went to a matinee because...

Isn't it true you never meant
to see a film at all?

Yes, it's true.

And didn't you tell
Rocky and me

that you got out of prison
because you got a pardon?

Yes. Yes, I did do that!

Isn't it true you have no respect
for the law or anything else?

No! I was just trying
to complete my mission!

I was only supposed
to care about results!

And how come Rocky and me
are still cartoons

and Boris and Natasha aren't?

I don't know! I didn't write the movie!
I'm only one of the characters!

Your witness, Counselor.

What are the teams again?

Bullwinkle, you're supposed
to be the defense attorney.

You just proved we're guilty.

Yes, but now our consciences are
clean, and the healing can begin.

Your Honor, it's time the
court showed the world

that no quarter will be given
to celebrity defendants.

Celebrity?

Did you say celebrity?

Where are my glasses?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

It's Rocky and Bullwinkle!
Oh, my God!

I love... I love your show!
Your Honor!

And you, Mr. District Attorney,

I'd like to point something
out to you in the penal code,

section C, paragraph 22.

"Celebrities
are above the law."

This case is dismissed.

Moments later, our heroes
were back on the road,

with a mere three hours to get from
Rabid Froth, Ohio to New York.

Three hours. If only
we had an airplane.

Hokey smoke! Look!

Gosh! Another wild coincidence.

Afternoon, folks.

Hi!

You got any planes left?

Well, let's just kind
of give a look-see.

I think we have one left.

They've got to be here
somewhere, Boris, darling.

Keep the change!

This is gonna get
my stepson a new trial.

Bingo! Goody! Goody!

Hey! Hey! You all
can't get in there.

She won't hold the weight!

You'll never reach the end of the runway.
The wings will come off.

Oh, God!

Oh, crap!

Boris pushed the little Metro
for all it was worth.

We've got them, Boris,
we've got them!

They've got us, Rocky,
they've got us!

But at that very moment,

Boris and Natasha's rental
agreement suddenly expired,

and they were immediately
blockaded

by the dedicated agents of the
Cheapo Rent-A-Car company.

Come on!

Come on, come on, you can do it!
You old bird!

Come on! Come on!

While Boris and Natasha
tried feverishly to complete

the necessary paperwork...

Look!

It was too late.

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Stop!

That certainly was a close one.

Let's just hope this thing makes
it all the way to New York.

Where did we go wrong, Boris?

We tried to blow them up. We
tried to have them arrested.

We tried to degenerate them.

We tried to smush them.

Yes, and we never
even came close.

Boris, what are
we doing, darling?

We've been trying to catch Moose and
Squirrel ever since we first got drawn.

We tried to stab them,
shoot them, smash them,

smush them, crush them, bash
them, mash them, squish them,

and they don't even
know our names.

I'm tired of all this, Boris.

I don't want to be spy no more.

Let's face it,
darling, we suck.

We can never catch
Moose and Squirrel.

Boris,

don't you want
to have little Boris?

Little Natasha?

Wouldn't it be wonderful?

We could rent cottage
by Sea of Pottsylvania

and teach them how to lie
and cheat and be rotten.

They would be worst
children in world!

They would be monsters.

It would be awful!

We could be so happy.

Telephone, dear.

Oh, boy.

Saved by bell.

Well, Badenov,
did the CDI work?

It works all right.

So Moose and Squirrel
are dead, then?

Well, is funny
you should ask...

Yes, Fearless Leader!

We killed Moose and Squirrel!

Excellent!

Wait there for my private jet.

I want you both beside my side
for the big broadcast.

Natasha. Yes, darling?

Why did you tell him that?
Because, Boris!

Moose and Squirrel can't reach New York by 8:00 p.m.
in that little plane.

And what if they did? So what?

How could they stop us now?

Practically whole country
is zombified.

We've won, Boris! We've won!

Just the way I planned it!

On their way to New York,

our heroes were soon to discover
that old Jeb was right.

She won't pull up,
we're too heavy!

Rocky, can you fly
Bullwinkle down?

I don't think so, Karen.

He's a huge moose!

I beg your pardon,
I'm as trim as a young fawn!

You weigh 400 imaginary pounds!

Yeah, but it's all mooscle.
Bullwinkle, can you fly an airplane?

What moose can't
fly a airplane?

Rocky, you'll have to fly me down.
I can't do that, Karen.

I can't fly again!
I've lost the knack.

Bullwinkle, take the controls.
Okay.

Listen to me, Rocky.

You can do this. I can't!

I know you can do this.
I just can't!

This is everything you taught
me since I was a little kid.

All you have to do
is believe in...

Karen!

Look out for the sign!

Here goes nothing!

Got you!

Rocky!

Uh-oh!

Bullwinkle! Bullwinkle!

Never said I could fly it well.

See you in New York!

Hang on, Karen! Hang on!

If I could just...

Rocky! You're flying!

You're flying! Yes, I am!

I certainly am.

Look at me, I'm flying!

New York City, here we come!

Yeah!

Boris, darling,
how can you be so rotten?

When I stop Moose and Squirrel
from saving country,

I don't kid around!

Karen looked upon the brave little
squirrel with a new admiration.

However, she couldn't help but
wonder, were they too late?

Soaring precipitously
over Rockefeller Center,

Karen and Rocky found the entire city
of New York completely zombified.

Rocky, whatever you do,
don't look at the screen.

Touching down outside RBTV,

the daring duo was soon to discover
that something else was terribly wrong.

Where's Bullwinkle?
The speech starts any minute!

I knew we shouldn't
have left him.

Bullwinkle and I have never
been apart in 35 years.

Quick, Rock, follow me.

Come, Natasha.

Follow me to Fearless Leader.

Go! Go!

Fearless Leader!

We're back!

You are so happy to see us. Well,
Fearless Leader, he did it!

Boris Badenov is now
official number one killer

of Moose and Squirrel.

Excellent, my faithful minions!
Excellent!

¶ Hail, Pottsylvania!

¶ Hail to the black and blue!

¶ Hail, Pottsylvania!

¶ Sneaky and crooked
through and through

¶ Down with the good guys

¶ Up with the boss

¶ Under the sign
of the triple cross! Hey!

¶ Hail, Pottsylvania!

¶ Hail, hail, hail! ¶

Thank you, Fearless Leader!
Thank you, Fearless Leader!

Well, no one can stop
my broadcast now!

FBI! Freeze!

No one but these
chocolate-chewing idiots!

All right, I want anyone in this
room who's a Pottsylvanian spy

to put your hands up now!

That means you, too, Fearless Leader!
Let me see your hands!

All right, Agent Sympathy.

We don't want anybody
to be hurt, now, do we?

Whatever you're holding,
drop it!

Gladly.

Don't look, Rocky, it's a trick.
It'll turn you into a...

Rocky!

Rocky?

Peek-a-boopsie!

Well, Agent Sympathy,

I have waited many years to
face an enemy I could respect,

and I'm still waiting.

No, that was just
a little joke.

But I am afraid that you
and this flying rodent

have reached the end
of the road.

Now, get ready for a taste of
Pottsylvanian hospitability.

That's ability to put you
in hospital, darling.

And so,
Rocky and Karen's only hope

in the whole wide world
was Bullwinkle J. Moose.

In other words,
they didn't have a prayer.

For Bullwinkle had managed
to miss New York altogether

and had flown instead
to Washington, DC.

Gee, New York sure has
changed a lot since my day.

They even moved
the White House here.

Couldn't find the brakes.

Well, as long as I'm here,

I might as well talk to the
President about the trees.

Anybody home?

With only moments left
before the broadcast,

Fearless Leader had released Rocky from
the grip of zombification so he could

share.

As for you, my friends, we have
planned something quite special.

We are hooking you directly
into the quality control.

As soon as we go live, the current
will pass through your brain

and you will be turned into a
helpless, mindless vegetable.

But don't worry, it won't hurt.

At least, I never heard a complaint
from the other vegetables.

I think you recognize your three
missing colleagues from the FBI?

Help us! Help us! Help!

Agent Sympathy, help us!

I'm sorry, Rocky,
I've really done it this time.

Don't worry, Karen, you need the most
faith when things look the most hopeless.

Thanks, Rocky.

And, Karen,
this is pretty hopeless.

Look, we don't care
what you do to us.

Just leave America alone!

America.

I'm proud of you, Karen.

Listen, Fearless Leader,

if there's one thing this
plucky squirrel has shown me,

it's that you have
to be who you are,

no matter how much pressure
there is to change.

And despite this inspiring
vindication of Karen's inner child,

Fearless Leader
was unimpressed.

So Karen, Rocky
and the entire nation

were poised on the brink
of unimaginable peril.

And there is no one, I said
no one, who can stop me now!

Or, in fact, was there?

So you see, Mr. President, all the
trees in Frostbite Falls are gone.

The birds have no place
to put their things.

The children have no place
to build their tree house.

I built them a stump house, but
they say it's just not the same.

Please help when you have time.

But, Morka,

the horse has swallowed
the transmitter!

Not again!

They certainly enjoy their TV
at the White House.

Bullwinkle!

Don't watch!

Bullwinkle!

Oh, no! Not you, too!

Not a bad show,
eh, Mr. President?

Yes, cheap as it may seem, and
it certainly does seem cheap,

Bullwinkle's head was so thick

that Fearless Leader's
mind-numbing programming

had absolutely no effect
on him whatsoever.

Come here!

At least one thing hasn't changed.
TV's as good as ever.

Bullwinkle,
allow me to be frank.

Okay, Frank,
allow me to be Bullwinkle.

I'm Cappy Von Trapment, FBI.

I thought you said
your name was Frank.

Shut up, Bullwinkle!
Okay, Frank.

As we speak,

ninety-nine percent of the country is
slobbering in front of the television.

What's so strange about that?
Listen to me!

We haven't heard from Karen, I think
she and Rocky are in terrible danger.

You've got to get to New York!

I thought this was New York.

No, Bullwinkle,
that's Washington out there!

That's Washington! Really?

Where's that little white wig
he always wears?

It's no use.

Fearless Leader's speech starts
in less than two minutes.

There's no way anyone
could get there in time now.

Oh, butterballs!

If only there were some way
of transmitting

computer-generated
animated characters

across great distances
in the blink of an eye.

Bullwinkle! That's it!

It is?

Yes, it's our only chance!

We're gonna e-mail you
to Karen in New York.

Well, okay, but don't you think
she'd rather get flowers?

Just shut up and hold on!

Okay! One, two...

Three!

And squeezing into
the scanner drive,

Bullwinkle found himself inside
the presidential computer.

But back at RBTV,

Fearless Leader's deadly
countdown had just begun.

...15, 14, 13, 12...

And that's when Bullwinkle
snapped into action.

Look, Frank, Solitaire.

I'm sorry, Bullwinkle,
we don't have time for that.

With the cool agility
of a jungle cat,

our heroic moose grabbed the
corners of the e-mail envelope

and hung on for
the ride of his life.

...eight, seven...

While time stood
virtually still at RBTV,

Bullwinkle surfed
the information superhighway

on his way to save the day.

Look, I'm hanging four!

Surf's up, dude!

Hang on, Rocky! I'm coming!

Bullwinkle found himself
inside the RBTV computer.

...five...

You've got mail!

With only seconds left to spare
and no idea how to get out...

...four...
Bullwinkle, hurry up!

Click on something.

- Minesweeper?
- ...three...

Print! Print!

And using his brain, Bullwinkle
activated the Print icon.

But was he in time?

...one.

Fearless Leader!

My fellow Americans,

say hello to Fearless Leader.

Hello!

- You are tired, America.
- You are getting very sleepy.

Your mind is mush.
You need help.

Yes, America, you need me
to run your country.

You really need me!

So vote for me as your leader!

Vote for Fearless Leader!

We will vote
for Fearless Leader.

I will vote
for Fearless Leader.

Yes, America, I will bring
order to the government.

This country will finally have
a president you can respect.

Look, is Moose!

And no sooner had Bullwinkle
emerged from the printer

than his mighty antlers
momentarily jammed

the quality control signal,
reversing the vegetation process

and bringing Karen and Rocky
miraculously back to life.

Yes, ever since I was a little
sketch growing up in Pottsylvania,

I dreamed of ruling the world.

Fearless Leader,
Moose is loose!

Get them!

Go, go!

Now, where were we?

Yes. I always knew I would
rule the world someday.

That's exactly
what I'm going to do.

So vote for Fearless Leader, and
make a little boy's dream come true.

We will vote
for Fearless Leader.

Once I am elected,
there will be an end to chaos.

There will be discipline.

Because I'm going to run this
country like a well-oiled machine.

I guess you could call me a neat freak,
but we all have our little foibles.

That tingles!

I'll be the President.

And with a single voice,
America will say...

Go on, Rock! Wrap it all up!

Okay, Karen! Bullwinkle,
finish the speech!

Good evening, America.
Bullwinkle Moose here, saying...

Forgot my line.

Just tell them to turn off the TV
and vote for whoever they want.

Turn off your TV
and vote for whoever you want.

And whoever wins the election, replant
the forest in Frostbite Falls!

And sure enough, all across America,
RBTV viewers turned off their sets

and faced the difficult question of
who they actually wanted to vote for.

And the moment the machine
had been destroyed,

the three vegetables from the FBI
immediately resumed their human form.

Thanks, Agent Sympathy.

Freed at last from
Fearless Leader's evil grasp,

even the Pottsylvanian
spies rejoiced.

Well, we won't be
needing this anymore.

Yeah!

That reminds me,

I should e-mail that nice Frank
and thank him for his help.

Bullwinkle, no!

And so the three villains were
launched up into the Internet,

where they would
be heard from no more.

And so it came to pass that the
election took place as planned.

Yes, Rocky and Bullwinkle
were stars once again,

and RBTV changed its name
from Really Bad Television

to Rocky and Bullwinkle
Television.

What's the difference?

Sir, there's one thing
I still don't understand.

Why did you pick me for this mission?
I mean, I'm clearly not FBI material.

FBI material is what gets
the job done, Ms. Sympathy.

If you needed an agent
to work with a cartoon

moose and squirrel,
who would you send?

Someone tough,
hard-boiled and cynical?

Or one of those soft, squishy,
lovey-dovey, idealistic types?

Yes, sir.

Thank you, sir.

I think.

Affirmative.

Oh, by the way,

good work.

Well, I really want to thank
you guys for everything.

And I really,

well, I really...

I'd really like to say that I
think we made a great team.

I'd really like to say that I
think we made a great team.

And if it hadn't been for you,
I never would have learned...

And if it hadn't been for you,
I never would have learned...

...that what you believe in
when you're young,

can still be true
when you grow up.

Please don't make me say that.

You gotta say it!

Who is she talking to?
You got me, Rock.

...that what you believe in
when you're young,

can still be true
when you grow up.

Anyway,

thanks for the adventure.

So long.

Where are you going?

Um...

The movies.

Of course!

The movies! The movies!

Hi.

Sorry I'm late.

That's okay.

And as Karen and Ole
finally went to the movies,

back in Frostbite Falls
the President carried out

the post-hypnotic suggestion
to replant the animated trees.

Mama! Sonny boy!

Meanwhile,
all was well with our heroes.

Rocky was his old self again.

I'll never forget our trip to New
York to visit President Washington!

And so was Bullwinkle.

Yes, glad to be home in their
revitalized little town,

Rocky the flying squirrel
took a well-deserved joyride

through the sunny skies
of Frostbite Falls!

Bye! Bye-bye!