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1
00:02:54,215 --> 00:02:56,717
Hey, look! It's the President!
2
00:02:58,428 --> 00:02:59,595
And the Pope!
3
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:19,156
Oh, my God! Look!
It's disgruntled postal workers!
4
00:03:37,425 --> 00:03:40,385
Wait a minute! Give me my baby back!
5
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:50,604
- Frank! Are you all right?
- I'm soaking wet.
6
00:03:50,688 --> 00:03:53,899
- I'll get the talcum powder.
- No, I had a nightmare.
7
00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:56,777
There was crime all around me.
I couldn't stop it.
8
00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:59,655
- It was just a dream.
- You're right.
9
00:03:59,739 --> 00:04:04,326
All I need is a good rest.
In the morning everything'll be fine.
10
00:07:24,026 --> 00:07:26,111
How's my little boy?
11
00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,238
Getting along okay, sweetie?
12
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:30,740
As well as a heterosexual can in prison.
13
00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:33,618
I don't know how much longer
I can take it.
14
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:36,288
- How's Tanya?
- Tanya's the same.
15
00:07:36,372 --> 00:07:39,416
Milky, creamy skin, pouting red lips,
16
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,960
firm buttocks, ample breasts,
17
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:44,296
ears you want to stick your tongue into.
18
00:07:44,380 --> 00:07:46,131
Ma! I'll get guy cramps!
19
00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:49,843
Sorry. Rocco, there's somebody here
to see you.
20
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,391
Papshmir.
21
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,478
My people are very upset.
22
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,481
They're always upset.
They're Arab terrorists.
23
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,483
Ma, please.
24
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,819
You're supposed to be
the best terrorist bomber in the world.
25
00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:10,322
Stations, stores, government buildings...
26
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:11,656
The devastation in Florida.
27
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,577
- That was Hurricane Andrew.
- That's what they told the public.
28
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,913
We wanted to embarrass
the United States,
29
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,416
and you made the police
look like international heroes.
30
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,961
A first-class job costs 5 million.
31
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,297
If you want to step up to the price,
32
00:08:27,381 --> 00:08:31,259
I got a target that'll make City Hall
look like chicken feed.
33
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:39,226
That's a big target, but why should
I think anything would be different?
34
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,269
$5 million buys me.
35
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,524
- I'm breaking out of here.
- All right,
36
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:50,362
but fail this time
and my people won't be so forgiving.
37
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:55,408
Fail? Show me one man
who can stop me.
38
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:35,198
Attention shoppers. Be sure
to check out our special on aisle 7.
39
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,287
That's aisle 7.
40
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,213
Give it to me!
41
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,591
My purse! Somebody help me!
42
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,052
- I want the purse, lady.
- Help me!
43
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:14,779
Well, we shot a lot of people together.
It's been great.
44
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,617
But today I retire,
so if I do any shooting now,
45
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:21,453
it'll have to be within
the confines of my own home.
46
00:10:21,537 --> 00:10:25,874
Hopefully, an intruder and not
an in-law, like at my bachelor party.
47
00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:28,418
Well, Ed.
48
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,920
I officially give you my gun.
49
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,301
And my badge.
50
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,388
And...
51
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:45,560
Jane and I would like
to keep the handcuffs as a souvenir.
52
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,316
Cheer up, Ed. This is not goodbye.
53
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,985
It's just I won't ever see you again.
54
00:10:57,865 --> 00:11:00,408
My purse! Somebody help me!
55
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,661
Out of the way.
56
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,954
Lieutenant Drebin! Frank!
Didn't you see that?
57
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:08,458
What? Oh, yes. Kitty litter.
58
00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,502
Two bags for a dollar. Great.
59
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:15,924
Order. The jury will disregard
that statement. Continue, Counsellor.
60
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:19,344
Alimony had been set by the court.
Right, Mr Clayton?
61
00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,929
Yes, but...
62
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,432
But not once have you paid
alimony to my client,
63
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,435
repeatedly defying a court order.
64
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,522
I lost her address.
She moved twice, I couldn't keep up.
65
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:33,817
Don't lie to me. You're under oath.
66
00:11:33,901 --> 00:11:36,069
Do you know the penalty for perjury?
67
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,864
I'll ask that again.
68
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:43,410
Objection! Your Honour, I...
69
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:48,206
- Counsel is leading the witness.
- Sustained.
70
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,711
Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding
when she's in session.
71
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:55,630
Please read
the prosecution's last statement.
72
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,299
"Don't lie to me. You're under oath. "
73
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,510
There.
74
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:03,805
"Do you know the penalty for perjury?"
75
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,642
That's all I have, Your Honour.
76
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,311
You may continue, Ms Spencer-Drebin.
77
00:12:12,648 --> 00:12:14,524
Prosecution rests.
78
00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,193
Defence,
Ms Davis-Jacob-Steiner-Laszlo?
79
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,070
No further questions, Your Honour.
80
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:22,115
Court will recess until
after the morning feed.
81
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,164
We're gonna win this. I can feel it.
82
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:31,249
Yes. Of course.
83
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:33,918
I married the wrong man.
84
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,087
I never thought that was possible.
85
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,090
- I beg your pardon?
- Oh, nothing.
86
00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:42,427
Louise, there's no such thing
as the wrong man.
87
00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,473
You just have to work at it.
88
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:49,934
Mr and Mrs Drebin, right?
89
00:12:50,019 --> 00:12:55,732
Now, you two have been married
for six months?
90
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:59,444
Yes. We really appreciate
you seeing us, Doctor.
91
00:12:59,528 --> 00:13:01,946
You were recommended
by our last therapist.
92
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:05,200
Yes, I was sorry
to hear about his suicide.
93
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:09,287
You know, I feel it's important
to get off on the right foot
94
00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,790
and not get caught up in blame.
95
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,292
Now, which one of you is impotent?
96
00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:17,420
- That would be him.
- Yes, of course.
97
00:13:17,505 --> 00:13:21,132
- Why don't you ask who's frigid?
- That would be him, also.
98
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:25,053
- How do you know? You're never home.
- He resents that I work.
99
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,555
He has no idea what a woman wants.
100
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,641
You're so insensitive.
101
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:33,311
- Is this the toilet seat thing?
- It's babies, Frank.
102
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:37,148
I want to have a baby. Whenever
we make love, you get a headache.
103
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,151
I'm not a piece of meat, Jane. I'm trying.
104
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,946
I've got ointments, lotions,
creams, books,
105
00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:44,823
things that vibrate.
106
00:13:45,783 --> 00:13:47,200
Maybe it's your fault.
107
00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:52,330
Have you tried sexy lingerie?
Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
108
00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,749
I've worn them all. They don't work.
109
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,461
Why don't you want a child?
110
00:13:58,546 --> 00:14:01,589
Didn't I try to adopt
that 18-year-old Korean girl?
111
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:07,011
Jane, Frank, here's what I suggest.
112
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:10,098
Make tonight a special night.
113
00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:13,017
Dinner, wine, romantic music.
114
00:14:13,102 --> 00:14:16,354
Put on the 24-hour
Johnny Mathis station.
115
00:14:16,438 --> 00:14:19,607
Just be Jane and Frank, lovers.
116
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:24,863
We haven't had a night like that
in a long time.
117
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:26,447
Not together.
118
00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,787
Having a baby is a big responsibility.
119
00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:36,124
It's like being in charge
of sanitation at a Haitian jail.
120
00:14:36,208 --> 00:14:38,376
I'm just frightened.
121
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:41,713
Frank, let's make tonight
something special.
122
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:44,716
Oh, honey,
it's just that I love you so much.
123
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,759
My little lover sparrow.
124
00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:50,680
My puppy-wuppy wover.
125
00:14:50,764 --> 00:14:52,891
My little love biscuit.
126
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,018
My little shnooky-wookums.
127
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,478
My little lady cheesy puppy.
128
00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:03,484
Mr and Mrs Drebin, please. I'm diabetic.
I think you should go now.
129
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,696
I never thought we'd end this way.
130
00:15:06,780 --> 00:15:09,991
How did you think we'd end?
131
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,119
I don't know.
132
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:16,372
Some other way.
133
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,333
Oh, Jason.
134
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:33,556
Ed! Nordberg! It's been a long time.
135
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,684
Hiya, Frank! You look terrific!
136
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:40,688
Thank you.
The little woman got me a Thighmaster.
137
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,399
Where are my manners? Come on in.
138
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,944
How charming!
139
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,363
Sit, sit.
140
00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:51,282
Excuse the mess. It's my ironing day.
141
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:53,534
I just frosted some cupcakes.
142
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,412
- Would you care for one?
- Oh, not just now.
143
00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:59,374
Frank, we have a problem
with a terrorist threat.
144
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,418
- Police Squad is certain...
- I'd love a cupcake.
145
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,421
- That coffee smells great.
- I grind my own beans.
146
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:09,550
Frank, the reason we're here
is that we need your help.
147
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,143
It's great!
148
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:22,230
I hoped you'd like them.
Made them from scratch.
149
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,148
I'll just get off my feet.
150
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:29,112
We may have a lead on a suspect
in the City Hall bombing attempt.
151
00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:31,823
These were taken
by a news photographer.
152
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,617
- This girl was the diversion.
- We had them enlarged.
153
00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:35,994
They look familiar.
154
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:39,455
No, the pin, she's a nurse.
155
00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:41,666
Can I keep this one?
156
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,669
We traced her to the Karlson Clinic
on Myrtlewood.
157
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:47,588
- She's Tanya Peters.
- Tanya Peters?
158
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:52,135
- You know her?
- Don't you remember in the 1970s?
159
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,178
The big disco shoot-out.
160
00:17:11,947 --> 00:17:15,199
Ed, what's happening, my man?
161
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:18,786
Frank, we missed you last night
at the fondue party.
162
00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:22,623
I went to see the Village People.
They're a stone soul gas, man.
163
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:25,126
- I can dig it.
- What have we got here?
164
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,295
One dead disco dancer.
165
00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:30,506
Bummer. What a mindbender, huh?
166
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,633
We think it was a love triangle.
167
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,970
This is the suspect's girlfriend,
Tanya Peters.
168
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:37,221
Cigarette?
169
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,182
Yes, I know.
170
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:44,187
Well, we'll need a statement
from you down at the station.
171
00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,482
Coming, Lieutenant!
172
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,202
I do remember.
173
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:02,246
You were one of the first test cases
for minoxidil, weren't you?
174
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,583
- What?
- I'm glad I could help.
175
00:18:05,667 --> 00:18:08,419
Now, I've got some lamb
to put in the oven.
176
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,129
We need a favour.
177
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,465
It's not that big a roast, Nordberg.
178
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,383
No, not that, Frank.
179
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,928
We need you to go undercover
at the clinic.
180
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,055
Whoa! I've given up police work, Ed.
181
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,641
You're whistling up
the wrong neck of the woods.
182
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:26,437
- We're in a bind, Frank.
- What about Hedges and O'Malley?
183
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,357
They're in Hawaii. Together.
184
00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:34,904
Well, I can't. Jane and I
have a special evening planned.
185
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,448
You'll be home in time to make dinner.
186
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,034
I'd have to make pork chops.
187
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,204
Frank, think of all the crime out there.
188
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,873
Nobody is safe.
You'd be protecting Jane.
189
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,751
You'd be protecting
all the Janes of the world.
190
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:51,045
And you haven't shot anybody
in months.
191
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:54,924
That's true.
Funny how you miss the little things.
192
00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:57,051
Might be good to feel
that cold, hard steel
193
00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:59,387
pressed against my thigh once again.
194
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,098
The thrill of the chase, to be a man.
195
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:07,061
After folding the laundry,
I went to the Karlson Clinic.
196
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,981
It's always important to have a disguise
197
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:13,025
and this operation was no different.
198
00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:17,488
I had no idea if Tanya
would recognise me,
199
00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,949
so I slipped on a fake pair of glasses
200
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:22,285
and combed my hair differently.
201
00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:24,287
The plan was to get in,
202
00:19:24,371 --> 00:19:27,331
get information about Tanya's
link with the bombing,
203
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,917
and get out as quickly as possible.
204
00:19:30,002 --> 00:19:34,172
I figured faking an old football
injury would do the trick.
205
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:38,426
- Can I help you?
- I'd like to see a doctor, please.
206
00:19:38,510 --> 00:19:41,012
Sign in here, please.
207
00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:46,267
- Do you have an appointment, Mr...
- Smith. No, I don't.
208
00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,935
Take a number.
209
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,478
Six.
210
00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,023
- What?
- Is six taken?
211
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,442
Does it have to be between 1 and 10?
212
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,740
You'll be called.
213
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,450
Thank you.
214
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,957
Mr Smith?
215
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:15,296
We've had a cancellation.
We can take you now.
216
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:18,132
Good morning, Mr Smith. This way.
217
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,719
I really appreciate
your seeing me like this.
218
00:20:21,803 --> 00:20:24,472
I'm sure it won't take too long.
219
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,480
When did you notice the problem?
220
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:35,650
In the back yard with my uncle.
221
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,819
In the back yard with your uncle?
222
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:40,988
Yes. When he comes over to visit,
223
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:45,159
we like to go in the back yard,
throw it around for a while.
224
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,537
What did you and your uncle find out?
225
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:52,375
I can't keep up with him.
Mine hurt, especially on the long ones.
226
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:55,419
I can't seem to straighten it out.
227
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:57,964
It has no feeling. It's kind of numb.
228
00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:01,676
I may have yanked it too much.
229
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:09,267
- If you would.
- For what?
230
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:12,353
- A sperm count.
- In here?
231
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:16,107
It's not exactly the back yard, but it'll do.
232
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:18,317
Well...
233
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:38,754
Follow me, and we'll do
the necessary paperwork.
234
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:45,386
Sign these at the bottom
and leave them with the nurse.
235
00:21:48,015 --> 00:21:50,099
- This way, please.
- What?
236
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,226
- Number 17.
- Oh, no.
237
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:54,270
- A problem?
- No, no.
238
00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:57,982
- This is 17.
- Have we met before?
239
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,693
If you'll excuse me, I'm next.
240
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,325
Sir?
241
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,578
Mr Smith, how are we doing?
242
00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,749
I've been busy.
243
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:19,503
- Do you want a videotape to help?
- Do you have Dances With Wolves?
244
00:22:19,588 --> 00:22:22,006
Rocketeer? Lady And The Tramp?
245
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:23,966
An adult movie.
246
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,439
The tape was very entertaining.
247
00:22:39,316 --> 00:22:41,275
Follow me.
248
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,944
Do you have Spartacus?
249
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:08,386
Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7.
250
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:11,764
Maintenance. Clean-up, room 7. Stat.
251
00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:20,648
- What are you doing?
- Just freshening up.
252
00:23:20,732 --> 00:23:24,652
You should look your best
even though you're by yourself.
253
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,863
Are you sure we've never met?
254
00:23:27,948 --> 00:23:30,741
Here's my cup. Back to work.
255
00:23:33,412 --> 00:23:34,912
Mr Smith?
256
00:23:34,996 --> 00:23:38,165
- Are you okay in there?
- I could use a little help.
257
00:23:39,668 --> 00:23:42,837
Dr Rosenblatt,
foreplay in room 7, please.
258
00:23:42,921 --> 00:23:44,797
Dr Rosenblatt.
259
00:24:02,691 --> 00:24:05,609
Honey, I've been waiting all day.
260
00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:10,072
I'm wearing the nightgown
you bought me for our honeymoon.
261
00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:14,743
Tonight's going to be special.
262
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:18,122
I'm going to make love to you
for hours and hours.
263
00:24:18,915 --> 00:24:21,041
Wouldn't Mr Happy like that?
264
00:24:22,919 --> 00:24:25,588
- Hours?
- Like our first time together.
265
00:24:25,672 --> 00:24:29,592
Jane, why don't I soak in the tub
for a couple of days?
266
00:24:29,676 --> 00:24:31,969
Possibly a week.
267
00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:33,637
You're so cute.
268
00:24:33,722 --> 00:24:36,640
Let me go get the oysters and clams.
269
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:13,177
Here.
270
00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:15,930
I'll shave your back like last time.
271
00:25:16,014 --> 00:25:18,933
Jane, I really don't think we should. I...
272
00:25:19,935 --> 00:25:22,394
Frank! What's this?
273
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,396
I fell on a rake.
274
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:28,400
You're lying.
Now I know why Ed's been calling.
275
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:32,821
- You're back on a case, aren't you?
- No, I swear. It's another woman!
276
00:25:32,906 --> 00:25:34,865
In your wildest dreams!
277
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:39,203
It's bad enough not having a baby,
but I warned you about Police Squad,
278
00:25:39,287 --> 00:25:41,830
you white Anglo male!
279
00:25:44,334 --> 00:25:48,254
It was nothing, Jane.
I was doing Ed a small favour!
280
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:51,090
Some retirement. I'm leaving, Frank.
281
00:25:51,174 --> 00:25:53,634
I never thought
you'd go back on your word.
282
00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,220
- Aren't you being hasty?
- I don't think so.
283
00:25:57,264 --> 00:26:00,224
That's my cab. I'll be at Louise's.
284
00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:05,145
Oh, Frank, how could you?
We need time apart to think about us.
285
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:08,566
I'm not going to think.
Why start now? I love you.
286
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:11,735
Look, baby, I am what I am
and I do what I do.
287
00:26:11,820 --> 00:26:14,238
A few guys make shoelaces,
some lay sod,
288
00:26:14,322 --> 00:26:16,574
some make a living neutering animals.
289
00:26:16,658 --> 00:26:19,076
- I'm a cop.
- Pretty speech, Frank.
290
00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,412
But my mind is made up. I'm leaving.
291
00:26:21,496 --> 00:26:22,871
All right.
292
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,999
Then take this with you.
293
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,673
You know how my lips feel about things.
294
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,265
Goodbye, Frank.
295
00:26:41,349 --> 00:26:46,020
You're listening to KSAD,
all-depressing, all the time.
296
00:26:46,104 --> 00:26:49,607
Here's a dedication to Frank from Jane,
who just called from a taxi.
297
00:26:49,691 --> 00:26:51,859
"Frank, you Iying weaseI-weenie.
298
00:26:51,943 --> 00:26:56,697
"First you shoot blanks,
now you're letting all the heat out... "
299
00:26:59,993 --> 00:27:04,330
He said he'd never go back to police
work. Once a cop, always a cop.
300
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:08,709
- He's married to his work.
- You'll always come in second.
301
00:27:08,835 --> 00:27:13,339
There was an article in Cosmo,
"Why all men are pigs".
302
00:27:13,423 --> 00:27:16,383
"Frank" is just another word for loser.
303
00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,135
I never want to see him again.
304
00:27:18,219 --> 00:27:20,971
I want to get as far away as possible.
305
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:23,891
We'll go to my friend's cabin
by the smelting plant.
306
00:27:23,975 --> 00:27:25,976
The fresh air will do you good.
307
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,646
Go easy.
That's your second bottle of Chanel.
308
00:27:28,730 --> 00:27:32,483
You're witnessing the beginning
of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin.
309
00:27:32,567 --> 00:27:36,070
No more little miss perky,
devoting her life to one man.
310
00:27:36,154 --> 00:27:38,113
I'm out for the new me.
311
00:27:38,198 --> 00:27:40,240
Let's burn rubber.
312
00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:46,997
- Didn't forget anything, did you?
- I hope not.
313
00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:54,755
Just calm down, ma'am. How many
bodies did you find in your pool?
314
00:27:54,839 --> 00:27:59,259
Sir, killing a gang member's
only an $18 fine. Just mail it in.
315
00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:03,180
- Frank! Glad you could make it!
- Welcome, buddy.
316
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,058
Did you find Tanya's address, Frank?
317
00:28:06,142 --> 00:28:10,270
I wrote it on a hanky, and I can't
remember what I did with it.
318
00:28:10,397 --> 00:28:13,816
- I'm getting a bit rusty.
- It could happen to anybody.
319
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:17,569
I brought you
some of Frank's never-fail fudge!
320
00:28:18,321 --> 00:28:20,698
You go on about your business.
321
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:23,701
I'll stay out of your hair.
322
00:28:23,785 --> 00:28:25,244
It'll be...
323
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:31,041
Frank, let me take that.
We've got a surprise for you.
324
00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:34,753
It's in honour of your 30 years
on the force. Nordberg.
325
00:28:37,215 --> 00:28:40,467
Oh, boy. This is really great.
326
00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:46,515
Thank you, guys.
327
00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:48,392
We thought it might cheer you up.
328
00:28:48,476 --> 00:28:50,561
We heard about you and Jane.
329
00:28:50,645 --> 00:28:54,690
Jane, Jane. That name
will always remind me of her.
330
00:28:54,774 --> 00:28:57,985
Frank, I feel really bad about all of this.
331
00:28:58,069 --> 00:28:59,987
If there's anything you need.
332
00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:02,239
Dr Kevorkian's home phone number?
333
00:29:02,323 --> 00:29:04,908
Nordberg, put it together.
334
00:29:04,993 --> 00:29:07,619
- Frank, you know we're here for you.
- Thanks, Ed.
335
00:29:07,704 --> 00:29:11,206
Well, look who's here.
Hi, Frank. Nice to see you.
336
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,877
- I've got that data on the bomb.
- What did you find out?
337
00:29:15,003 --> 00:29:17,755
The explosive is a very fine powder.
338
00:29:18,298 --> 00:29:22,426
- It tastes like...
- That's fertiliser. Another case.
339
00:29:22,510 --> 00:29:25,053
This is what I'm talking about.
340
00:29:25,138 --> 00:29:28,015
We detected a high quantity
of nitroglycerine.
341
00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:31,935
- Can you tell us where it came from?
- I'd be glad to.
342
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:34,938
Billions of years ago,
the Earth was a molten mass...
343
00:29:35,023 --> 00:29:37,232
Ted, I'm talking about the powder.
344
00:29:37,317 --> 00:29:41,528
We don't know about that.
Let me take that urine specimen.
345
00:29:42,030 --> 00:29:45,783
We found a list
of the bomber's plans at the scene.
346
00:29:45,867 --> 00:29:47,242
On a hunch, we analysed the paper.
347
00:29:47,327 --> 00:29:49,745
- And you got something?
- Yes.
348
00:29:49,829 --> 00:29:51,914
The paper's from Statesville Prison.
349
00:29:51,998 --> 00:29:56,376
- Are you sure?
- Positive. We analysed the fibres
350
00:29:56,461 --> 00:29:59,546
and found them to be from
the rare Canary Island pine,
351
00:29:59,672 --> 00:30:01,006
which grows only in Oregon.
352
00:30:01,090 --> 00:30:03,509
Contacting paper mills in that area
353
00:30:03,593 --> 00:30:06,220
led us to a distribution centre
in Tacoma.
354
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:08,597
Unfortunately, the trail ended there.
355
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:12,559
- How'd you trace it to the prison?
- Right here on the letterhead.
356
00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:16,772
After comparing handwriting
of every known bomber
357
00:30:16,856 --> 00:30:18,732
serving a stretch in Statesville,
358
00:30:18,817 --> 00:30:20,943
we came up with a suspect.
Rocco Dillon.
359
00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:23,946
He's masterminding the bombings
from inside the prison.
360
00:30:24,030 --> 00:30:27,950
There's only one way to find out
where Rocco will strike next.
361
00:30:28,034 --> 00:30:30,327
We have to send someone in there.
362
00:30:30,411 --> 00:30:34,331
- I'll do it.
- I wouldn't feel right about that.
363
00:30:34,415 --> 00:30:37,084
If Rocco thinks you're a cop,
you might end up dead.
364
00:30:37,168 --> 00:30:39,837
"You might end up dead"
is my middle name.
365
00:30:39,921 --> 00:30:41,505
What about Jane?
366
00:30:41,589 --> 00:30:44,675
I don't know her middle name.
I need the action.
367
00:30:44,759 --> 00:30:46,510
I'm going inside the big house.
368
00:30:46,594 --> 00:30:49,847
Frank, Ed.
I think you might want to see this.
369
00:30:49,931 --> 00:30:53,600
We're testing out a prototype
for an anti-carjacking device.
370
00:30:53,685 --> 00:30:55,811
We'll see how it works.
371
00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:57,104
Get out!
372
00:30:57,939 --> 00:30:59,439
Don't make me...
373
00:31:04,904 --> 00:31:07,114
We call it the Denver jockstrap.
374
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:18,709
After being retired for six months,
I was finally back in action.
375
00:31:18,835 --> 00:31:23,964
Faster than saying "spread 'em",
I was in Statesville Prison.
376
00:31:24,048 --> 00:31:27,217
I was surrounded by pimps,
rapists and murderers.
377
00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:30,387
It was like being in the stands
at an LA Raiders game.
378
00:31:30,471 --> 00:31:35,601
It was going to take all my police
experience just to stay alive here.
379
00:31:46,738 --> 00:31:49,573
After a long and generous
cavity search,
380
00:31:49,657 --> 00:31:52,659
I reached my destination,
Maximum Security,
381
00:31:53,745 --> 00:31:56,413
home of some of the most
violent sociopaths in the country.
382
00:31:56,497 --> 00:31:59,082
And the worst of them all, Rocco Dillon.
383
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:04,254
All right, in here.
384
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:07,049
Ain't no prison yet could hold me.
385
00:32:07,175 --> 00:32:08,717
Attica! Attica!
386
00:32:08,843 --> 00:32:12,095
Power to the brothers! Kill whitey!
387
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:13,931
Kill whitey!
388
00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:16,266
Knock it off!
389
00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:21,772
You're chirping loud for a new canary.
390
00:32:21,856 --> 00:32:25,609
Keep flashing the big eyes
and I'll rotate your jaw.
391
00:32:25,693 --> 00:32:29,279
Hey! You know who you talking to?
392
00:32:29,364 --> 00:32:31,448
The man is Rocco Dillon.
393
00:32:31,532 --> 00:32:35,077
- Where's your prison number?
- It's unlisted.
394
00:32:35,161 --> 00:32:38,789
Just call me Nick "The Slasher" McGirk.
395
00:32:38,873 --> 00:32:43,126
Look, I'm the muscle in this pen.
Just stay out of my way.
396
00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:45,462
You just watch your step, McGirk.
397
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:48,298
Take it from me,
this place changes a man.
398
00:32:48,383 --> 00:32:49,925
Yeah? How?
399
00:32:50,009 --> 00:32:51,677
I used to be white.
400
00:32:53,596 --> 00:32:56,264
I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
401
00:32:56,349 --> 00:33:00,894
Screw with me, he'll make you
feel pain like never before.
402
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,689
I know. I remember the Osmonds.
403
00:33:05,024 --> 00:33:08,318
- Better hit the rack, McGirk.
- In a minute.
404
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:12,823
First I'm gonna make a list of who
I'm gonna kill in the next few days.
405
00:33:12,907 --> 00:33:15,826
Lights out. Lockdown in two minutes.
406
00:33:19,747 --> 00:33:22,916
My dearest snooky wookums
dumpling buns,
407
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,835
I miss you so much.
408
00:33:24,919 --> 00:33:29,798
I haven't hurt this bad
since the last time I was dumped.
409
00:33:29,882 --> 00:33:33,844
I remember it well.
Her name was Gabriella.
410
00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:35,887
We were supposed to be married,
411
00:33:35,972 --> 00:33:39,433
but on the day of our wedding,
she never showed up.
412
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:48,066
I was heartbroken. I figured
she had fallen for another man,
413
00:33:48,151 --> 00:33:51,194
someone who could do to her
what I never could.
414
00:33:51,279 --> 00:33:55,115
I thought my life was over
untiI that one glorious day.
415
00:33:56,784 --> 00:33:58,869
That was the day you became my wife.
416
00:33:58,953 --> 00:34:01,997
Our friends gathered
to celebrate our love.
417
00:34:02,081 --> 00:34:03,999
It seems like only yesterday.
418
00:34:04,083 --> 00:34:06,376
We were all so overjoyed.
419
00:34:06,461 --> 00:34:09,713
I remember wishing
we could take everyone with us.
420
00:34:09,797 --> 00:34:11,465
That was the happiest day of my life.
421
00:34:11,549 --> 00:34:15,844
I remember the plans we made.
Things were going to be so perfect.
422
00:34:15,928 --> 00:34:19,222
We got that housekeeper
you always wanted.
423
00:34:19,307 --> 00:34:21,641
Hi, Mr D. Hi, Mrs D.
424
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:24,770
And I knew that eventually
our dream would come true.
425
00:34:24,854 --> 00:34:28,190
One day we'd have
our own Frank Drebin Jr.
426
00:34:28,274 --> 00:34:30,734
Shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep.
427
00:34:30,818 --> 00:34:33,737
Nah, it's no use.
She'll never come back.
428
00:35:39,637 --> 00:35:41,680
Bend over and pick it up for me,
429
00:35:42,765 --> 00:35:44,558
would you, lover?
430
00:35:44,642 --> 00:35:46,476
No problem.
431
00:35:56,988 --> 00:35:59,990
Rocco could tell
from my escapade in the shower
432
00:36:00,074 --> 00:36:02,117
that I was well-endowed with courage.
433
00:36:02,201 --> 00:36:04,119
Now I had to get on the inside.
434
00:36:04,203 --> 00:36:08,456
Like a blind man at an orgy, I was
going to have to feeI things out.
435
00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:15,005
Tyrone, I got the escape plans
right here. Just you and me.
436
00:36:15,089 --> 00:36:18,175
- Burnett wants in.
- Burnett's one of the guards!
437
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:20,635
I know, but he's unhappy here.
438
00:36:20,720 --> 00:36:22,762
All right, all right. Whatever.
439
00:36:22,847 --> 00:36:25,223
Got it all worked out right here.
440
00:36:28,769 --> 00:36:32,647
What's this?
Another letter from your mommy?
441
00:36:32,732 --> 00:36:35,442
- That's private!
- Let's see what we have.
442
00:36:35,526 --> 00:36:39,279
- Give the man back his letter.
- Buzz off, butter cheeks.
443
00:36:40,781 --> 00:36:43,867
What's so special about a little letter?
444
00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:46,953
Wait a minute. An escape plan!
445
00:36:47,288 --> 00:36:50,624
This is your ticket
to another 20 years, Dillon.
446
00:36:50,708 --> 00:36:53,043
If the warden gets one look at this...
447
00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:56,713
Hey! You call this slop?
448
00:36:56,797 --> 00:36:59,216
Real slop has got chunks in it!
449
00:36:59,300 --> 00:37:01,718
This is more like gruel!
450
00:37:01,802 --> 00:37:05,138
And this Chateau le Blanc '68
451
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,891
is supposed to be served
slightly chilled!
452
00:37:07,975 --> 00:37:13,063
This is room temperature!
What do you think we are, animals?
453
00:37:13,147 --> 00:37:14,898
No!
454
00:37:14,982 --> 00:37:17,400
What are we?
455
00:37:17,485 --> 00:37:19,319
Homo sapiens?
456
00:37:20,488 --> 00:37:24,991
You're right! We are men! We are men!
457
00:38:03,781 --> 00:38:06,992
Left hand blue. Whose hand is that?
458
00:38:16,544 --> 00:38:20,171
Come on, son. You can do it.
Eat some beans!
459
00:38:41,861 --> 00:38:46,156
You saved my bacon, McGirk.
I'd be in solitary if you hadn't done that.
460
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,451
I've been watching you.
You handle yourself good.
461
00:38:49,535 --> 00:38:51,578
- "Really well".
- Whatever.
462
00:38:51,662 --> 00:38:55,832
I got something big on the outside.
I could use you in my gang.
463
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,917
- Dental plan?
- Full coverage.
464
00:38:58,002 --> 00:39:00,170
- What's the caper?
- First we bust out.
465
00:39:00,254 --> 00:39:04,174
Thanks to you, we still have
our escape plan. Let's have it.
466
00:39:04,258 --> 00:39:06,760
- It's a good plan.
- I've had better.
467
00:39:06,844 --> 00:39:10,013
Listen, I've got a fool-proof plan.
468
00:39:11,349 --> 00:39:12,932
They got Tyrone.
469
00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,437
Can't... Can't we all just get along?
470
00:39:23,027 --> 00:39:26,446
Now that Tyrone was in solitary,
it was just me and Rocco.
471
00:39:26,530 --> 00:39:28,531
He had to trust me.
472
00:39:28,616 --> 00:39:30,533
Hold on.
473
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:32,285
Okay.
474
00:39:32,370 --> 00:39:34,788
I convinced Rocco to dig a tunneI.
475
00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:36,915
It was that or go out in a laundry truck.
476
00:39:36,999 --> 00:39:40,335
The thought of Iying nose down
in skid marks
477
00:39:40,419 --> 00:39:42,670
didn't leave a good taste in my mouth.
478
00:39:47,718 --> 00:39:49,761
Disposing of the dirt
was a problem I solved
479
00:39:49,845 --> 00:39:51,513
early in the construction.
480
00:39:51,597 --> 00:39:55,225
Apart from some chafing,
we made good progress.
481
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:56,518
We kept digging.
482
00:39:56,602 --> 00:39:59,854
Dummies gave the impression
we were still in our cell.
483
00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,065
Lights out.
484
00:40:02,441 --> 00:40:06,861
There was more dirt than I thought.
Disposing of it was becoming tricky.
485
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:31,219
Safe!
486
00:40:44,358 --> 00:40:45,817
Where are you going?
487
00:40:45,901 --> 00:40:50,280
- Are you thinking of Frank again?
- They're playing our song.
488
00:40:50,364 --> 00:40:53,116
I understand. Take your time.
489
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,801
- Hello there.
- Excuse me.
490
00:41:11,886 --> 00:41:15,638
I'm hauling a load of rice cakes to Big D.
Coming with me?
491
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:16,806
No.
492
00:41:16,891 --> 00:41:18,600
- How about a kiss?
- No.
493
00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:21,644
When a woman says no,
she means yes.
494
00:41:21,729 --> 00:41:24,314
- How about that kiss?
- Yes.
495
00:41:24,398 --> 00:41:29,068
No? I know your type. Come on, baby.
We're two of a kind.
496
00:41:42,833 --> 00:41:45,126
Oh, my God! You killed him!
497
00:41:45,211 --> 00:41:47,086
It was an accident. Call the police.
498
00:41:47,171 --> 00:41:51,841
Come to your senses. You killed a man.
You're a hero to every woman.
499
00:41:51,926 --> 00:41:54,969
We have to call Frank. He'll protect us.
500
00:41:55,054 --> 00:41:58,097
Frank is a man.
He'll see you locked away forever.
501
00:42:00,601 --> 00:42:04,229
Jane, I want to join you, to help
you kill as many men as possible.
502
00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:10,026
Louise, do what you have to do.
I'm calling Frank.
503
00:42:13,864 --> 00:42:15,365
Oh, boy, did that hurt.
504
00:42:15,449 --> 00:42:19,285
Be home, Frank. Answer the phone.
505
00:42:21,038 --> 00:42:22,705
Hi, this is Frank. And Jane.
506
00:42:22,790 --> 00:42:27,835
We're the Drebins. We're not
home right now so leave a message!
507
00:42:29,213 --> 00:42:31,506
- Which button is it?
- Not that one!
508
00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:47,021
"Tanya"? It was another woman.
Frank wasn't lying.
509
00:42:47,106 --> 00:42:50,817
"Honeymoon Bay Road. "
I bet they're alone there now!
510
00:42:52,319 --> 00:42:54,028
Cell inspection.
511
00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:59,075
There's been a rumour
of a possible breakout.
512
00:42:59,159 --> 00:43:03,329
If we suspect anyone
of attempting to escape,
513
00:43:03,414 --> 00:43:06,666
they will be punished severely.
514
00:43:07,793 --> 00:43:11,504
Once word of the escape was out,
we headed for the tunnel.
515
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:13,965
The last few feet were dug on the run.
516
00:43:14,049 --> 00:43:18,386
Another 47 yards would
take us beyond the prison walls.
517
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:22,932
May he rest in peace,
in the arms of our... Jesus Christ!
518
00:43:23,017 --> 00:43:24,726
Amen.
519
00:43:24,810 --> 00:43:28,021
Rocco had arranged
for a car to meet us.
520
00:43:30,190 --> 00:43:32,775
After making a slight adjustment
521
00:43:32,860 --> 00:43:37,030
we arrived at the rendezvous point,
a Los Angeles city high schooI.
522
00:43:51,253 --> 00:43:53,296
Hey, that was close.
523
00:43:53,380 --> 00:43:57,133
Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag?
She take one in the face?
524
00:43:57,968 --> 00:43:59,927
She's my mother.
525
00:44:00,012 --> 00:44:04,098
Mrs Dillon. Your son is a ruthless,
sadistic, cold-blooded animal.
526
00:44:04,183 --> 00:44:07,435
- You must be proud of him.
- I am.
527
00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:11,314
I want you to meet a real square egg,
Nick "The Slasher" McGirk.
528
00:44:11,398 --> 00:44:13,650
There's fresh clothes in the back.
529
00:44:13,734 --> 00:44:19,656
Rocco's mom was quiet. I felt
she didn't care for me coming along.
530
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:24,744
Like a midget at a urinaI,
I was going to have to stay on my toes.
531
00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:38,424
Hey! Stop!
532
00:44:59,905 --> 00:45:04,158
It wasn't my fault. That cow
shouldn't have been in the road.
533
00:45:04,243 --> 00:45:06,202
Hurry up. You're letting the flies in.
534
00:45:06,286 --> 00:45:08,913
- What do you think?
- Great setup.
535
00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:13,543
No phone, miles from the nearest
town, Playboy channel. Perfect.
536
00:45:13,627 --> 00:45:16,129
Nice digs. But I'm here for the action.
537
00:45:16,213 --> 00:45:19,215
What is it? Bank, armoured car, payroll?
538
00:45:19,299 --> 00:45:22,677
You're getting
a little bit too nosy, McGirk.
539
00:45:22,761 --> 00:45:24,554
Relax, Ma.
540
00:45:24,638 --> 00:45:27,932
- She's itching to use her new gun.
- I know the feeling.
541
00:45:49,163 --> 00:45:53,416
It was Tanya.
That bathing suit was never happier.
542
00:45:53,500 --> 00:45:57,336
I had only a second to admire the view.
I had to watch out.
543
00:45:57,421 --> 00:46:00,882
If she made me as a cop,
I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
544
00:46:00,966 --> 00:46:02,759
Come here, sexy.
545
00:46:02,843 --> 00:46:05,595
You're all woman.
I could tell by looking at you.
546
00:46:05,679 --> 00:46:08,222
Hey, she's referring to me.
547
00:46:09,141 --> 00:46:11,642
I was talking about your mother.
548
00:46:13,729 --> 00:46:16,939
That's no way to be walking around.
Get some clothes on.
549
00:46:17,024 --> 00:46:19,108
And what are you doing
in my bathing suit?
550
00:46:20,819 --> 00:46:22,862
Hey, who's the stud?
551
00:46:22,946 --> 00:46:25,656
Meet the newest member of our gang.
552
00:46:26,700 --> 00:46:29,535
Slasher McGirk, meet Tanya Peters.
553
00:46:29,620 --> 00:46:32,580
Wait a minute.
Don't I know you from somewhere?
554
00:46:32,790 --> 00:46:35,958
I smelled cop on him
the minute I saw him.
555
00:46:36,043 --> 00:46:39,003
I get it all the time.
It's the underwear ads.
556
00:46:39,713 --> 00:46:44,383
- Are you saying you're not a cop?
- Well, yeah.
557
00:46:45,052 --> 00:46:47,637
- That's good enough for me.
- Me, too.
558
00:46:47,721 --> 00:46:50,431
All right. I'm glad that's all cleared up.
559
00:46:50,516 --> 00:46:52,934
Ma, why not kiss and make up?
560
00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:56,229
Well, all right.
561
00:47:06,657 --> 00:47:08,741
Now that's more like it.
562
00:47:30,222 --> 00:47:32,348
I had to get a message to Police Squad.
563
00:47:32,432 --> 00:47:35,476
This was more than I could handle.
564
00:47:35,561 --> 00:47:37,812
No phone, miles from civilisation,
565
00:47:37,896 --> 00:47:40,731
my prospects look bleaker
than a gerbiI's in a bathhouse.
566
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:44,986
Who's down there? Slasher.
567
00:47:45,779 --> 00:47:47,196
Have you seen my pigeon?
568
00:47:48,615 --> 00:47:53,119
- Pigeon? What pigeon?
- What are you doing?
569
00:47:53,203 --> 00:47:57,498
I'm just contemplating my next move.
570
00:47:57,583 --> 00:47:59,959
Your bishop is exposed.
571
00:48:00,043 --> 00:48:03,880
It's these pants.
I usually wear a fuller cut.
572
00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:07,049
You're all man. I like that in my men.
573
00:48:07,134 --> 00:48:10,052
You're coming on to me big-time, sister,
574
00:48:10,137 --> 00:48:12,138
but we got a problem.
575
00:48:12,222 --> 00:48:16,309
- You're Jewish?
- No. You're Rocco's girl.
576
00:48:16,393 --> 00:48:20,605
In my book, that chapter's
called "Look, But Don't Touch".
577
00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,650
I could have two lovers.
578
00:48:26,320 --> 00:48:29,989
Kinky. But I like my sex
the way I play basketball,
579
00:48:30,073 --> 00:48:32,658
one-on-one,
with as little dribbling as possible.
580
00:48:40,626 --> 00:48:43,753
Oh, you're tense, Slasher.
581
00:48:44,796 --> 00:48:48,215
Well, I could relax more
if I knew about tomorrow.
582
00:48:48,300 --> 00:48:51,594
You wouldn't know anything
about that, would you?
583
00:48:51,678 --> 00:48:56,265
All I know is it's downtown and big.
584
00:48:56,350 --> 00:48:58,643
That's the way I like it.
585
00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:03,064
- What else?
- Just this.
586
00:49:06,944 --> 00:49:08,069
What are you doing?
587
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:12,782
Thank you for the advice.
I'll try that recipe, Miss Peters.
588
00:49:12,866 --> 00:49:14,241
How could you?
589
00:49:14,326 --> 00:49:16,786
Just shove your tongue in
as far as you can.
590
00:49:19,873 --> 00:49:21,958
Quiet. You don't know me here.
591
00:49:22,042 --> 00:49:24,126
That's a goodbye kiss, sister.
592
00:49:24,211 --> 00:49:26,379
What's all this? Who's the skirt?
593
00:49:26,463 --> 00:49:31,258
Just some dizzy dame. Probably broke
down. I'll take her to the bus depot.
594
00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:35,471
Hey, she's married.
What if her husband comes looking?
595
00:49:35,555 --> 00:49:38,099
- He must be a great guy.
- He breaks promises.
596
00:49:38,183 --> 00:49:41,394
Look at you, traipsing all over,
just to spite him.
597
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:43,479
- He left me.
- You left him.
598
00:49:43,563 --> 00:49:45,898
- You should talk.
- Listen to you.
599
00:49:49,903 --> 00:49:52,071
Jeez, you two, knock it off!
600
00:49:52,155 --> 00:49:55,116
- You'd think you're married!
- What'll we do with her?
601
00:49:55,200 --> 00:49:58,786
One thing's for sure.
There's no room for her here.
602
00:49:58,870 --> 00:50:02,331
- I say we bump her off.
- Let's plug her here.
603
00:50:02,416 --> 00:50:06,293
I've been on a job where I'd have
given my eye teeth for a hostage.
604
00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:09,005
We know women
make the best hostages.
605
00:50:09,089 --> 00:50:12,174
They're small, easy to move,
eat less, smell nice.
606
00:50:12,259 --> 00:50:15,761
Yeah, we got us an insurance policy.
607
00:50:15,846 --> 00:50:19,348
Good thinking, kid.
Now, let's get some shuteye.
608
00:50:19,433 --> 00:50:20,891
We got a big day ahead of us.
609
00:50:28,066 --> 00:50:29,567
All right, it's rigged.
610
00:50:29,651 --> 00:50:33,195
Watch the tower, Slasher.
This is what'll happen tonight.
611
00:50:33,280 --> 00:50:35,239
Hey, aren't we far away?
612
00:50:37,951 --> 00:50:39,535
All right, pay attention.
613
00:50:39,619 --> 00:50:43,664
On that tower's a device
that's gonna net us 5 million bucks.
614
00:50:43,749 --> 00:50:46,834
We're gonna detonate it this evening
615
00:50:46,918 --> 00:50:49,378
at an event that the whole world
will be watching.
616
00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:53,799
- Your crowning achievement.
- It's for both of us, Ma. All set!
617
00:50:53,884 --> 00:50:55,384
Set!
618
00:51:17,991 --> 00:51:19,658
Very impressive.
619
00:51:21,578 --> 00:51:22,620
Cool.
620
00:51:24,414 --> 00:51:25,456
Cool.
621
00:51:30,670 --> 00:51:34,215
America will be brought to its knees
by this terrorist act.
622
00:51:34,299 --> 00:51:38,427
This will be more embarrassing
to the US than Tonya Harding.
623
00:51:38,512 --> 00:51:42,598
We're almost there. I don't wanna
miss this. Regards to Mrs Qaddafi.
624
00:51:42,682 --> 00:51:44,600
Tell her thanks for the cookies.
625
00:51:47,437 --> 00:51:49,522
It's a beautifuI night in Los Angeles,
626
00:51:49,606 --> 00:51:54,318
and the stars are shining bright
for the 66th Academy Awards.
627
00:51:54,444 --> 00:51:58,781
Fans are clamouring to see
their favourite celebrities.
628
00:51:58,865 --> 00:52:01,742
It's Weird Al Yankovic and Vanna White.
629
00:52:13,713 --> 00:52:18,217
Put the dame in the trunk. I'll meet
you and Ma round back in 10 minutes.
630
00:52:19,302 --> 00:52:20,553
Got the passes?
631
00:52:21,847 --> 00:52:23,806
If we pull this off, it's 5 million big ones.
632
00:52:23,890 --> 00:52:25,391
Not bad!
633
00:52:25,475 --> 00:52:28,435
- What's going to happen to me?
- I have an idea.
634
00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:31,397
Right, Slasher. You know what to do.
635
00:52:31,523 --> 00:52:33,607
Check the tyres and fluid levels.
636
00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:38,529
No, you muffin head, the dame.
We hit trouble, she's a bullet shield.
637
00:52:42,576 --> 00:52:47,079
Ladies and gentlemen, to present
the lifetime achievement award...
638
00:52:47,164 --> 00:52:50,666
Roll tape. Go to clip. Aspirin, please.
639
00:52:50,750 --> 00:52:52,877
Go to three. Ready, four.
640
00:52:54,713 --> 00:52:57,423
This year's lifetime achievement
award winner's credits
641
00:52:57,507 --> 00:53:00,676
include some of the greatest moments
on celluloid.
642
00:53:00,760 --> 00:53:04,847
Films such as
Sandals And Loincloth, 1958,
643
00:53:04,931 --> 00:53:07,683
Sweaty Boatmen, 1959,
644
00:53:07,767 --> 00:53:10,144
The Leather-clad Centurion, 1960,
645
00:53:10,228 --> 00:53:13,689
and his first colour feature in 1966,
646
00:53:13,773 --> 00:53:16,025
Big Shiny Spears.
647
00:53:21,948 --> 00:53:25,034
Okay, there's the man
from Bryce Porterhouse.
648
00:53:25,118 --> 00:53:30,289
He guards the envelopes until
they're handed out. He won't budge.
649
00:53:30,373 --> 00:53:33,876
You know what to do.
Distract him so I can plant the bomb.
650
00:53:33,960 --> 00:53:38,255
Accepting the award for Mr Broncowitz
is Margaret Redfeather.
651
00:53:55,941 --> 00:53:57,274
That ought to do it.
652
00:53:58,151 --> 00:53:59,735
You'll never get away with this.
653
00:53:59,819 --> 00:54:02,154
Rocco will kill you, whoever you are.
654
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,198
Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
655
00:54:04,282 --> 00:54:07,409
- Isn't that a unusual?
- It's happened before.
656
00:54:07,494 --> 00:54:09,745
- Here's the plan.
- You'll never stop Rocco.
657
00:54:09,829 --> 00:54:13,374
- Your chances are one in a million.
- Better than any state lottery.
658
00:54:13,458 --> 00:54:16,669
I'm the good guy.
I can't let the bad guys win.
659
00:54:16,753 --> 00:54:18,379
Our children can't be raised in fear.
660
00:54:18,463 --> 00:54:21,757
They're going to blow
that place sky high.
661
00:54:21,841 --> 00:54:24,843
It'll be a tragedy.
Unless it's during a dance number.
662
00:54:24,928 --> 00:54:26,512
Come on.
663
00:54:43,571 --> 00:54:44,780
Does that radio work?
664
00:54:51,079 --> 00:54:53,539
Call Police Squad.
Tell them Frank Drebin...
665
00:55:00,588 --> 00:55:01,714
Forget it.
666
00:55:03,508 --> 00:55:06,302
I wonder what the devil he wanted?
667
00:55:11,558 --> 00:55:14,768
- Hold on.
- Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
668
00:55:14,853 --> 00:55:18,647
- Yeah, and I'm Robert de Niro.
- Mr de Niro, we must get inside.
669
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,734
You and 10,000 other people.
Move along.
670
00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:24,445
- Movie stars only.
- Come on.
671
00:55:25,071 --> 00:55:26,572
I've got a better idea.
672
00:55:26,823 --> 00:55:28,449
Cue talent.
673
00:55:28,533 --> 00:55:31,410
To present the award
for best supporting actress,
674
00:55:31,494 --> 00:55:34,997
Mariel Hemingway and Elliott Gould.
675
00:55:44,257 --> 00:55:46,091
Thank you.
676
00:55:46,176 --> 00:55:49,261
The nominees
for best supporting actress are,
677
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,680
Mary Lou Retton, Fatal Affair.
678
00:55:51,765 --> 00:55:55,184
One woman's ordeal
to overcome the death of her cat,
679
00:55:55,268 --> 00:55:58,103
set against the background
of the Hindenburg disaster.
680
00:56:04,069 --> 00:56:06,695
Morgan Fairchild, Final Proposal.
681
00:56:06,780 --> 00:56:11,033
One courageous pioneer woman's
triumphant victory over bulimia,
682
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:13,619
set during the Donner Party crossing.
683
00:56:32,013 --> 00:56:34,598
Sorry about this,
but it's official police business.
684
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:40,062
Shannen Doherty, Basic Analysis.
685
00:56:40,146 --> 00:56:42,648
One woman's triumph
over a yeast infection,
686
00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:46,944
set against the background of the
tragic Buffalo Bills' season of 1991.
687
00:56:57,330 --> 00:56:59,248
Thank you, Sheriff.
688
00:56:59,332 --> 00:57:02,000
Still no word of Frank or Rocco's gang.
689
00:57:02,085 --> 00:57:04,837
I'm worried.
He should have called by now.
690
00:57:16,975 --> 00:57:19,017
Let me just check your tickets.
691
00:57:19,102 --> 00:57:21,937
Lovely gown. Is that Cool Whip?
692
00:57:22,021 --> 00:57:25,566
Tim and Erica Brown.
Okay, enjoy the show.
693
00:57:25,650 --> 00:57:28,444
Let's see, Vanna White
and Weird Al Yankovic.
694
00:57:28,528 --> 00:57:31,822
Okay, enjoy the awards.
695
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,032
And three.
696
00:57:34,117 --> 00:57:37,119
And Florence Henderson,
Analysis Of A Proposal.
697
00:57:38,204 --> 00:57:41,540
- Rocco could be anywhere.
- Where could the bomb be?
698
00:57:41,624 --> 00:57:44,877
- The winner is...
- This is going to be dynamite.
699
00:57:44,961 --> 00:57:48,130
- Jane!
- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
700
00:57:48,214 --> 00:57:50,799
Florence Henderson is going to win!
701
00:57:50,884 --> 00:57:54,761
- No! The bomb's in the envelope.
- You're right!
702
00:57:54,846 --> 00:57:57,222
And the winner is...
703
00:57:58,391 --> 00:58:00,767
Mary Lou Retton for Fatal Affair.
704
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:03,562
Yes! Yes!
705
00:58:04,230 --> 00:58:06,815
Sorry. We were rooting
for Florence Henderson.
706
00:58:06,900 --> 00:58:10,235
We must get those envelopes
before they open any more.
707
00:58:13,907 --> 00:58:15,365
Yes!
708
00:58:19,329 --> 00:58:20,829
I never realised there'd be so many.
709
00:58:20,914 --> 00:58:23,165
They added 75 new categories.
710
00:58:23,249 --> 00:58:25,751
"Best actor in a Columbus movie"?
711
00:58:25,835 --> 00:58:29,171
To present the award for best director,
712
00:58:29,255 --> 00:58:34,134
RaqueI Welch and the host of
his own talk show, Phil Donahue.
713
00:58:34,219 --> 00:58:37,930
That might be the envelope
with the bomb. Keep looking.
714
00:58:38,014 --> 00:58:40,098
One more second, Mr Donahue.
715
00:58:56,241 --> 00:58:58,951
Oh, my God! Look at Donahue!
716
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,460
Stop the stairs, Joey!
717
00:59:10,713 --> 00:59:12,130
Thank you.
718
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:15,634
Ladies and gentlemen,
it's my pleasure to present...
719
00:59:21,474 --> 00:59:22,933
What the hell?
720
00:59:25,645 --> 00:59:28,021
- Jesus!
- Go to commercial.
721
00:59:28,106 --> 00:59:32,067
Easy, now. Talk to me.
What happened, Ma?
722
00:59:32,151 --> 00:59:35,487
Slasher is Frank Drebin
of Police Squad.
723
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:38,156
That lousy, two-bit, copper punk!
724
00:59:38,241 --> 00:59:41,910
I treat him like my brother,
the one I didn't kill.
725
00:59:41,995 --> 00:59:44,663
- He might find the bomb.
- Not if I find him first.
726
00:59:46,291 --> 00:59:48,417
Back from commercial in five seconds.
727
00:59:48,501 --> 00:59:51,169
Hurry with the mike and cue Donahue.
728
00:59:54,340 --> 00:59:56,466
Read the card, moron.
729
00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:04,099
"Well, RaqueI, this certainly
is a speciaI evening.
730
01:00:04,183 --> 01:00:07,894
"I can barely catch my breath.
Turn it over to RaqueI.
731
01:00:07,979 --> 01:00:10,564
"I'm used to being out of breath... "
732
01:00:10,648 --> 01:00:12,107
What the hell?
733
01:00:12,191 --> 01:00:15,277
"Hold for laughter and applause.
To Phil.
734
01:00:15,361 --> 01:00:18,780
"Gets me out of breath just watching.
To RaqueI... "
735
01:00:18,865 --> 01:00:20,449
I read that.
736
01:00:20,533 --> 01:00:24,703
"But let's get to the subject
at hand. Pick up the envelope. "
737
01:00:24,787 --> 01:00:27,623
The nominees for best director are...
738
01:00:27,707 --> 01:00:30,626
Sir Richard Attenborough
for his musical
739
01:00:30,710 --> 01:00:34,254
on the life of Mother Teresa, Mother.
740
01:00:55,860 --> 01:00:59,237
Spike Lee, X ll, The Merchandising.
741
01:00:59,489 --> 01:01:03,992
Nordberg, look!
That's Frank at the Academy Awards.
742
01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:05,911
How'd he get tickets?
743
01:01:06,537 --> 01:01:09,748
That's where Rocco
is going to strike next.
744
01:01:09,832 --> 01:01:12,125
He's planning to blow up
the Academy Awards.
745
01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:15,754
- We've got to go.
- We're not invited. We're cops.
746
01:01:17,757 --> 01:01:19,216
It's for you.
747
01:01:19,884 --> 01:01:24,179
Nordberg, Police Squad. Hello? Hello?
748
01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:28,517
Henderson, see about this phone.
I think it's broke.
749
01:01:31,062 --> 01:01:34,022
And now, today's lucky lotto numbers.
750
01:01:34,107 --> 01:01:39,236
Get your tickets ready,
12, 22, 18, and 9.
751
01:01:40,780 --> 01:01:45,283
And for his tale of genetics gone
haywire in a retirement community,
752
01:01:45,368 --> 01:01:48,912
Steven Spielberg, Geriatric Park.
753
01:02:09,892 --> 01:02:12,060
The winner is...
754
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:16,898
RaqueI, just a second.
I just had a thought.
755
01:02:16,983 --> 01:02:18,400
Christ!
756
01:02:18,484 --> 01:02:21,653
This show is being seen
all over the world.
757
01:02:21,738 --> 01:02:23,572
If we could send good thoughts,
758
01:02:23,656 --> 01:02:27,242
transmit them through these cameras,
to the leader of China.
759
01:02:27,326 --> 01:02:29,995
Wing Wa Woo Tong,
760
01:02:30,079 --> 01:02:33,582
so that they might finally be nice.
761
01:02:33,666 --> 01:02:35,792
Thank you.
762
01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:39,671
And the winner is...
763
01:02:39,756 --> 01:02:43,842
RaqueI, so many
go to bed hungry in this nation.
764
01:02:43,926 --> 01:02:45,719
Yet, cat food's full of tuna.
765
01:02:45,803 --> 01:02:48,263
I can't help thinking
each time I go to the zoo
766
01:02:48,347 --> 01:02:51,558
and see those porpoises
crammed into tiny tanks,
767
01:02:51,642 --> 01:02:53,685
what a waste that is.
768
01:02:53,770 --> 01:02:55,771
Butcher half of them now.
769
01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:59,524
Hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat
that could be fed to cats,
770
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,445
freeing up that tuna
for our nation's hungry.
771
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:13,038
- And the winner is...
- So many are cold,
772
01:03:13,122 --> 01:03:15,457
shivering in the night.
773
01:03:15,541 --> 01:03:17,876
I say take those cats and skin them.
774
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:21,797
Use their fur to keep hundreds warm.
775
01:03:21,881 --> 01:03:23,965
Jesus, Phil!
776
01:03:24,050 --> 01:03:26,134
And the winner is...
777
01:03:35,937 --> 01:03:37,229
Give me that!
778
01:03:45,238 --> 01:03:47,489
- Not one move.
- That barrel's cold.
779
01:03:47,573 --> 01:03:49,324
It's room temperature.
780
01:03:51,077 --> 01:03:54,037
It's okay. It's not the bomb.
781
01:04:13,266 --> 01:04:15,308
- Silver hair.
- About 6'2".
782
01:04:15,393 --> 01:04:17,352
Looked like Phil Donahue.
783
01:04:18,187 --> 01:04:20,188
- That's the guy!
- Get him!
784
01:04:23,025 --> 01:04:24,943
Ladies and gentlemen,
785
01:04:25,027 --> 01:04:28,572
please welcome internationally
renowned singing star, Pia Zadora.
786
01:04:32,952 --> 01:04:35,453
There he is! Stop him.
787
01:04:36,539 --> 01:04:39,708
Excuse me. Isn't that snot on your shoe?
788
01:04:41,210 --> 01:04:43,920
I'll stay here. You check the wings.
789
01:04:48,801 --> 01:04:52,304
Oh, no! Not him again? Please, God.
790
01:05:51,113 --> 01:05:52,822
Grab him!
791
01:06:03,042 --> 01:06:06,127
I'm Ed Hocken.
This is Officer Nordberg.
792
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:09,631
- We're here to prevent a disaster.
- You're too late.
793
01:06:33,072 --> 01:06:35,699
Come on, Nordberg.
We've got to get Frank.
794
01:07:16,949 --> 01:07:20,827
I knew I'd bump into you.
I want answers, cherry cakes.
795
01:07:20,911 --> 01:07:22,662
- I love you.
- Wrong answer.
796
01:07:22,747 --> 01:07:25,331
I dropped out of the
sap of the month club.
797
01:07:25,416 --> 01:07:28,209
Listen, you've got one last chance.
798
01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:32,380
And I don't mean a major league
baseball Steve Howe last chance.
799
01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:35,300
- Where is Jane?
- I don't know.
800
01:07:35,384 --> 01:07:38,386
- Where's the bomb?
- In the Best Picture envelope.
801
01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:41,514
Mr Drebin, I want to go straight.
802
01:07:41,599 --> 01:07:44,225
I'm tired of the lies.
803
01:07:44,310 --> 01:07:48,188
Kiss me. Please kiss me.
804
01:07:48,272 --> 01:07:52,150
I've never kissed lips so innocent,
so pure.
805
01:08:13,005 --> 01:08:15,507
He looked like Phil Donahue,
white hair...
806
01:08:16,258 --> 01:08:18,676
- That's the guy!
- I'll get him.
807
01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,138
Ladies and gentlemen,
to present the Best Picture award,
808
01:08:22,223 --> 01:08:24,516
two most distinguished actors,
809
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:27,685
Olympia Dukakis
and James Earl Jones.
810
01:08:35,736 --> 01:08:37,362
Lord, what's that?
811
01:08:37,446 --> 01:08:40,448
Looks like Phil Donahue
throwing up in a tuba.
812
01:08:40,533 --> 01:08:44,577
I don't think we should have
Phil Donahue back next year.
813
01:08:44,662 --> 01:08:46,913
Thank you. Good evening.
814
01:08:46,997 --> 01:08:51,209
It's a privilege for us
to present the finaI award...
815
01:08:51,293 --> 01:08:55,463
We've been worried about you.
Where's Rocco? Where's Tanya?
816
01:08:55,548 --> 01:08:58,800
- Sit down. Take it easy.
- Thank God you're all right.
817
01:08:58,884 --> 01:09:03,471
Indecent Instincts
and Sawdust And Mildew.
818
01:09:03,556 --> 01:09:07,976
Every one of these movies
was a box office hit, except for one.
819
01:09:08,060 --> 01:09:10,145
- What's that?
- The Best Picture award.
820
01:09:10,229 --> 01:09:12,313
My money's on Sawdust And Mildew.
821
01:09:12,398 --> 01:09:14,482
Olympia, would you do the honours?
822
01:09:14,567 --> 01:09:17,402
Oh, my God! That's the one!
823
01:09:17,486 --> 01:09:21,281
The award for this year's
Best Picture goes to...
824
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:22,699
Wait!
825
01:09:23,826 --> 01:09:26,995
Sorry about this.
Loved you in Coneheads. You, too.
826
01:09:27,079 --> 01:09:29,080
Let me open this.
827
01:09:32,668 --> 01:09:34,085
It's the bomb!
828
01:09:45,222 --> 01:09:47,265
Freeze and nobody gets hurt!
829
01:09:49,602 --> 01:09:51,936
Well, from now on.
830
01:09:52,021 --> 01:09:55,023
Back in your seats, you little weasels!
831
01:09:55,107 --> 01:09:56,858
This programme's been interrupted.
832
01:09:56,942 --> 01:09:58,860
Don't panic. Stay with it.
833
01:09:58,944 --> 01:10:00,945
Camera 2, move in on the old lady.
834
01:10:01,030 --> 01:10:02,864
Better move back.
835
01:10:02,948 --> 01:10:06,534
- Don't move!
- Now, pay attention!
836
01:10:06,619 --> 01:10:09,704
I don't want to kill nobody
unless I have to.
837
01:10:09,788 --> 01:10:12,749
Drop your guns and kick them over here.
838
01:10:17,046 --> 01:10:20,882
That bomb belongs to me.
Hand it over, Drebin.
839
01:10:20,966 --> 01:10:22,884
You want to kill him, Ma?
840
01:10:24,303 --> 01:10:26,095
Blink and I start shooting.
841
01:10:32,937 --> 01:10:34,979
Give me that gun!
842
01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:39,609
- Oh, my God!
- I'm not falling for that, sister.
843
01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:57,085
She's a goner, Rocco.
844
01:10:57,169 --> 01:10:59,754
Dead. Then that's it.
845
01:10:59,838 --> 01:11:01,965
I'm coming with you, Ma!
846
01:11:03,425 --> 01:11:06,344
Pull out the bomb or I'll shoot the dame.
847
01:11:06,428 --> 01:11:09,138
All right. I'll do what you say.
848
01:11:10,182 --> 01:11:11,599
Don't harm her.
849
01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:14,852
You pull out the bomb
and you'll kill me anyway.
850
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:17,397
- Yeah. No dice!
- Then I'll plug her.
851
01:11:17,481 --> 01:11:21,109
- Shoot her, I'll empty the envelope.
- Frank, think about it.
852
01:11:21,193 --> 01:11:23,569
It's all right. You'll be dead.
853
01:11:23,654 --> 01:11:25,697
Then you'll kill everyone here.
854
01:11:25,781 --> 01:11:27,615
Yeah.
855
01:11:27,700 --> 01:11:29,867
I'll shoot if you don't do as I say.
856
01:11:31,120 --> 01:11:33,288
I'd be safe, so would everyone else.
857
01:11:33,372 --> 01:11:36,457
- But you'd be dead.
- This is complicated, Rocco.
858
01:11:37,793 --> 01:11:42,463
Logically, you're psychotic, so you
have the envelope, I'll have the gun.
859
01:11:43,382 --> 01:11:45,383
I know what I'm doing.
860
01:11:52,057 --> 01:11:53,516
All right!
861
01:11:55,561 --> 01:12:00,148
Here's your Best Picture! In front
of the world, this place is going up.
862
01:12:00,232 --> 01:12:03,401
Well, if I'm going out,
I'm going out happy.
863
01:12:04,820 --> 01:12:09,407
Wait. Before we're all blown up, can
I get my underwear out of my crack?
864
01:12:10,326 --> 01:12:13,161
- I got to go comfortable.
- Okay, but that's it.
865
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:20,543
- Give it up, Rocco. You're history.
- Look, George Hamilton!
866
01:12:23,964 --> 01:12:25,423
Come and get me, Drebin!
867
01:12:28,385 --> 01:12:29,594
Throw me a gun!
868
01:12:29,678 --> 01:12:31,512
Get rid of the bomb!
869
01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:34,098
Hold on, sweetheart.
870
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:37,393
Frank, help!
871
01:12:38,187 --> 01:12:39,437
I know what I'm doing.
872
01:12:42,900 --> 01:12:45,360
I hate heights!
873
01:12:48,155 --> 01:12:49,697
Move it, sister!
874
01:12:52,034 --> 01:12:53,951
Screw the commercials!
875
01:12:54,036 --> 01:12:56,621
All right, copper, you killed my ma!
876
01:12:56,705 --> 01:12:58,706
I'm taking the dame away from you.
877
01:12:59,583 --> 01:13:03,669
You hear me, copper?
One push and Mrs Drebin is linoleum.
878
01:13:03,754 --> 01:13:06,839
Get a camera up there.
This could be my best work.
879
01:13:06,924 --> 01:13:09,342
Any last words before I throw you off?
880
01:13:09,426 --> 01:13:12,887
- Yes. Don't do it.
- Anything else?
881
01:13:13,472 --> 01:13:15,723
Frank, I love you.
882
01:13:15,808 --> 01:13:18,726
I want the world to know
you're the perfect man.
883
01:13:18,811 --> 01:13:20,978
Frank, I hope you can hear me.
884
01:13:21,063 --> 01:13:22,688
They said I couldn't do drama.
885
01:13:22,773 --> 01:13:26,651
I was wrong. Taking you away
from Police Squad was a mistake.
886
01:13:26,735 --> 01:13:30,279
I know now that's why you
couldn't perform decent sex.
887
01:13:31,657 --> 01:13:34,659
I realise that now, and other things.
888
01:13:34,743 --> 01:13:36,994
Everything's under control.
889
01:13:37,079 --> 01:13:40,832
Nobody move!
Any vibration may set this thing off.
890
01:13:42,418 --> 01:13:46,587
Frank, I've learned my lesson.
And though it may be too late for me,
891
01:13:46,672 --> 01:13:50,383
I want all you ladies
to remember something.
892
01:13:50,467 --> 01:13:52,927
Don't ever take your men for granted,
893
01:13:53,011 --> 01:13:56,264
because good men
don't just fall out of the sky.
894
01:14:01,270 --> 01:14:04,021
He's caught up in the cable!
Do something!
895
01:14:15,367 --> 01:14:16,993
I'm coming, Ma!
896
01:14:23,333 --> 01:14:24,709
Papshmir?
897
01:14:38,724 --> 01:14:42,310
- I never want us to be apart again.
- Oh, Frank!
898
01:14:42,394 --> 01:14:45,897
You like me. You really like me!
899
01:15:06,001 --> 01:15:08,085
- Frank, slow down!
- Hurry up!
900
01:15:09,171 --> 01:15:10,630
Relax. There's time.
901
01:15:10,714 --> 01:15:12,924
- You got the camcorder?
- Here. Which room?
902
01:15:13,008 --> 01:15:15,927
Delivery room. This must be it.
903
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:19,764
Jane, I'm here. Frank is here.
904
01:15:19,848 --> 01:15:21,641
Push! Here it comes now.
905
01:15:21,725 --> 01:15:24,185
Breathe, honey. Breathe, Jane.
906
01:15:24,269 --> 01:15:26,187
One more push. That's it.
907
01:15:26,271 --> 01:15:28,773
Congratulations, Dad. It's a boy!
908
01:15:33,570 --> 01:15:35,530
You come back here!
909
01:15:35,614 --> 01:15:39,116
- Frank, it's a boy.
- I know!
910
01:22:31,030 --> 01:22:33,030
~English~
~BD-Rip by SS78~
70963
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