All language subtitles for Lovely morning (1949)

Sorry.

- Morning, Mr. Mason.
- Good morning.

- Hello, Johnny.
- Lovely morning.

- Hi, Johnny.
- Beautiful morning.

- Morning, Mr. Mason.
- Harry, it's a marvelous morning.

Have a nice trip? Sensational.

- Great city, Boston.
- Terrific.

Happy bridegroom, yoo-hoo!

- How did you meet her, John?
- Johnny, what's she like?

Wait a minute. I can't describe her.
Nobody can.

But I happen to have
a photograph of her here.

- Well, well, well.
- Hello, Carter.

So you combined business with pleasure.

Wait till Judge Doolittle hears about this,
my boy.

- About what?
- About your getting married on his time...

without his consent, or his daughter's.

- What's she got to do with it?
- The chief topic of conversation here...

- has been that you and Miss Doolittle...
- Malarkey! Office talk, Carter.

- Isn't a word of truth in it.
- Judge Doolittle may not think so.

Is that so? Well, if he doesn't
like it, he can lump it.

Good morning, Judge Doolittle.

What's all this mess?

Well, it seems that everybody around here
found out that I...

When I was up in Boston...

- What were you doing in Boston?
- You sent me, sir.

You sent me up there to get a deposition
on the Higgins v. Higgins case.

- Did you get it?
- Yes, sir.

Well, what's all this horseplay?

While I was in Boston, after I got the
deposition, I had a few hours to spare...

and so I...

- Just a few hours...
- Go on.

I got married.

- You what?
- I got married.

- You got married?
- Yes, sir, I got married.

- Come into my office.
- Yes, sir.

Where's the deposition?

There you are, sir.

What's this?

That's just sort of a letter.

- So you got married?
- Yes, sir.

I imagine this will be a surprise
to some people.

Yes, sir.

No, sir, I mean...

I don't know.
It all happened rather suddenly.

We met on Boston Common
the night I arrived.

I'd had a bite at Thompson's spa...

and then I took a little stroll
around the Common...

and I saw her standing there.

She was just standing there.

She had a cinder in her eye.

- Where?
- In her eye.

- Whose eye?
- Jane's. Mrs. Mason, my wife.

Of course, she wasn't my wife then.
She's my wife now, though.

I got the cinder out of her eye...

- And you married her.
- Yes, sir.

- Quick work, wasn't it?
- Yes, sir.

Judge, we knew
the moment we looked at each...

We knew
the moment we looked at each other.

- You did?
- Yes, sir.

Last year, there were nearly
half a million divorces in this country.

Congratulations, Mason.

Thank you very much, sir.

Mr. Hutch would like
your opinion on this, sir.

This is for you, Mr. Mason.
Special messenger.

It's marked, "Rush. Important."

Rush? Important? What is it?

- It's nothing.
- What is it?

It's a letter from my wife.

Your wife?
What did you do, leave her in Boston?

- No, she's right here, sir.
- Here, in town?

Yes, sir.

If your wife's in town,
why did she write you a letter?

She likes to write letters, Judge.

It's sort of a little custom we have.

She wrote me a letter
the first day she met me...

right as soon as she got home.

She's written me one ever since.

Even coming down on the train together,
she wrote me.

You see, when I get a letter from her...

it's sort of like a visit, you see.

Judge...

when two people get married,
they usually go on a honeymoon.

I didn't. I don't approve of honeymoons.
Waste of time.

Well, you know how women are,
and Mrs. Mason and I...

What about Higgins v. Higgins?

You're the only one who knows this case.
It's on the calendar for next week.

- If I could get a continuance...
- Opposing counsel wouldn't consent.

But I talked to Mr. Hornblow this morning,
and he agreed to a continuance.

Well, all right. Take a week.

A week?

Well, Judge, I'm afraid
we wouldn't be able to make it in a week.

What?

- We couldn't make it in a week.
- Make what?

My wife and I had sort of planned
a trip to Europe on the Normandie.

Take two weeks then.

And after I got the cinder
out of Jane's eye...

we talked for a little while...

and then we took a little walk
around the Commons.

Yes?

We walked for quite some time...

then we went over to Thompson's spa
for a bite.

Yes?

And we had a bite.

Well, rather an unconventional meeting,
wasn't it?

- These cookies are delicious.
- They're made with sour cream.

- I'm crazy about sour cream.
- I'm crazy about Jane.

- John is so young and impulsive.
- Mother, wait a minute.

This is different.

Are you visiting relatives
here in New York, my dear?

Yes and no. Not exactly.

- I came over with Johnny.
- From Boston?

Together? Last night?

Yes, Mother.

We thought as long as we were engaged...

Engaged?

I know how upset you must be, Mrs. Mason.

You know so little about me,
and it all happened so suddenly.

Well, I should think it was sudden.

- What did your family have to say about it?
- I have no family.

Didn't John say something
about your taking a course in journalism?

Yes, but I gave it up after I met Johnny.

I'm sort of a post-graduate course.

My dear, if you have a
talent for writing...

take my advice
and develop it while you're young.

One needs all one's time and energy
for a career.

Don't you think
marriage is a career in itself?

Indeed. Emphatically. That's why
one mustn't rush into it pell-mell.

Marriage is a business,
a very serious business.

A partnership,
in the strictest sense of the word.

One must prepare for it.

There are so many things to learn.

Jane will learn all of those
after we're married.

I hope and pray that that day will not come
for many years.

Mother, what do you mean?
Do you mean we shouldn't?

Emphatically not.

There's no reason for Jane
to develop into a little household drudge.

I hope you understand,
I have nothing against Jane.

In fact, I like her. I like her very much.

I'm glad you do, Mother, because...

You remember a little while ago
you asked Jane...

whether she'd come to New York
to visit relatives?

As a matter of fact,
she has come to New York to visit...

She's visiting some right now. You see...

We're married.

Mother, everybody gets married
sooner or later.

- Get the smelling salts.
- What do they look like?

Mother, where are the smelling salts?

What's done is done.

You'll have children of your own,
I suppose...

and you'll love them
and devote your life to them.

Then they'll grow up and leave you,
and you'll say to yourself:

"It's all right, that's the way it is."

"You've served your purpose."

Mother, don't excite yourself anymore.

I'm all right now.

I wish you
every possible happiness and joy.

I think perhaps I'd better go to bed.
I'm all right.

I'll find a place to live, of course.

Some place to live?
Of course not, Mother. You'll stay with us.

We're going to find a new apartment.
We've talked this all over.

- Jane will insist. Won't you, darling?
- We couldn't think of anything else.

Well, we'll see.

See? I told you it would be all right.

Johnny, maybe we shouldn't have
gotten married.

Maybe we shouldn't have
gotten married at all.

All visitors ashore, please.

- Don't let him eat too many strawberries.
- I won't.

He gets rashes.

Don't forget to make him wear his raincoat
in London.

- I won't.
- He had pneumonia once.

Mother, that was 12 years ago.
I feel fine now.

- And take good care of yourself, too.
- Goodbye, Mrs. Mason.

Take good care of him.

Goodbye, Mother.

Mother, it's only two weeks, you know.

- I know. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.

- What's this?
- The heating pad. You forgot to pack it.

Here it is.

What do you think of it?

- It's cozy.
- It's the only one they had left.

- I think we can do better after the boat sails.
- What for? I love it. It's so intimate.

- What's this?
- That's nothing.

Is it something somebody gave you?
I know, it's something for me!

- It is! Let me see it!
- It's something I forgot to pack.

What are you being so mysterious about?
Let me see it.

Really, it's nothing, Jane.

I bet it's a going away present. You can't
fool me. You shouldn't have done this.

Johnny, you fool.

Gee whiz, I couldn't
leave it in the office.

- What?
- When I was in school, I was taught that...

two things can't occupy the same place
at the same time.

What?

We'll get the steward
to get us a bigger bed.

You couldn't get a bigger bed
in here, though.

- I think it's big enough.
- Wait till you try and turn round.

- Is it all right?
- Sure it is.

Let's see. That's not so bad.

Why, there's oceans of room here.

Johnny, this is the first time in my life
I've ever been away from America.

- Me, too.
- Isn't it just beautiful?

Yeah, I guess so.

What, Johnny?

Do you remember that cinder
I took out of your eye in Boston?

I'll never forget it.

You know, I threw that away.
I shouldn't have done that.

I should have kept that cinder.
Put it in a locket or something.

If it hadn't been for that cinder,
maybe we'd never have met.

Don't say that, Johnny. We had to meet.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

- Still, if it hadn't been for that cinder...
- Johnny, isn't it just beautiful?

- Bon voyage, darling.
- Bon voyage.

- Where is Stateroom 504?
- First room to your left, sir.

Come in.

- Hello, Carter. Nice of you to come down.
- Judge Doolittle sent me.

He did?

Carter, this is Miss... Mrs...

This is my wife.
Darling, Mr. Carter from the office.

- How do you do?
- Happy to know you.

Good thing I got here in time.
You've got just about 10 minutes.

- Ten minutes for what?
- To get off the boat.

- To get off... What are you talking about?
- Higgins v. Higgins.

- What about Higgins v. Higgins?
- It goes on the calendar for next week.

No, that's where you're mistaken.
I got a continuance for a whole month.

- You think you did.
- I did!

You ask Hornblow about it.
He gave me his word of honor.

Well, you know Hornblow.

Johnny, they can't do this to you.

- No, they can't do this...
- Does Doolittle think he's a puppet?

- What does he think I am, a puppet?
- Some kind of a pawn...

- he can push any way he likes?
- Push all over the place.

- Is that what you want me to tell Doolittle?
- Yes.

Carter, wait a minute.

Are you sure
that case is going on next week?

- Monday morning at 9:00 a.m.
- Monday morning.

Look, will you excuse us just a minute?

- I'm glad you said that.
- Yeah, sure.

Higgins v. Higgins
is a pretty important case.

I don't care. It isn't as important
as our honeymoon, is it?

Of course not, darling, but...

- What's the matter?
- You've got lipstick on your mouth.

A lawyer is like a doctor or soldier.

You've got to disregard
your own convenience.

Convenience?
You don't call this a convenience.

Listen, darling.
I'd tell Doolittle to jump in the lake...

even at that the risk of losing my job.

But if I win the case,
I get a chance to go in with the firm.

And a firm like this...

But it's my honeymoon,
and Doolittle knows it's my honeymoon.

There are just some things
a man just can't do.

That Carter thought it was funny.
He laughed.

I hate that liver-pill.

If they ever try
pulling anything like this again...

I hate that Judge Do-nothing.

I wish someone would step
on that ear-thing of his.

- We still have the tickets here.
- I hope Higgins beats Higgins.

The alligator pears, Annie.

- It's your mother-in-law.
- Hello, dear.

Would you mind fixing the place cards
for me? I'm so late.

- They're right there on the desk.
- Certainly, dear.

The girl took so long to fix my hair,
I didn't get out of the place till 6:30.

It's still sopping wet.

You should have made
an earlier appointment.

Yes, I should.

I thought I'd put Judge Doolittle
on my right, of course.

Naturally.

And Mr. Carter, I suppose
I'll have to have him on my left.

You seem to think
I've never done this before.

No, dear, it's just that I never have.

You have the wineglasses
on the wrong side, Annie.

The left side was the right side
where I worked before.

The right side was the
water glasses, Annie.

- How do you think the table looks?
- Isn't it a little crowded?

That girl will drive me crazy.

The things that pop up at the last minute.

I had to borrow finger bowls
from the woman downstairs...

because we only had four.

- Are you sitting on Johnny's right?
- I always have been.

I thought I'd put Miss Doolittle
there tonight.

Of course, it's your party, my dear.

Just this once. Do you mind?

No, of course not.

You know, I used to think that
John and Eunice Doolittle...

- Yes?
- There was nothing in it.

But a lovely girl.

Would you see
if Annie has the appetizers fixed?

Of course, my dear.

I think you have too many on the plate.
And shouldn't they be garnished?

Where's the silver tray,
the one I gave them?

I don't know how many hands
they expect you to have here.

There's just so much a body can do.
I'm only human.

I'll fix the canap�s for you,
as you seem to have so much to do.

A little bit too much vinegar
in the salad dressing, I'm afraid.

I'm only human.

Your potatoes aren't going to burn,
are they?

I'm afraid you put them on too early.

- I'm leaving.
- You're what?

Right now. You can stand just so much,
and I'm only human.

But you can't do that. What's the matter?

I can't please everybody.

But, Annie,
my guests will be here any minute.

Well, I'll see you through dinner,
but I'm leaving at 9:00 sharp...

in order to catch the 9:30 ferry boat
to Staten Island.

And nobody's going to stop me.
I'm only human.

Watch the potatoes, Annie.

Dear, Annie has so much to do
with the extra guests and everything.

Don't you think we'd better humor
her tonight and leave her alone?

But you asked me to see about the canap�s.

I know, but it's a lot for one person to do.
Too many of us giving orders upsets her.

I was only trying to help.

There's Johnny.

I bet you forgot the wine.

Old Granite Puss' favorite tipple.
I called up Doolittle's club and found out.

Pretty nice, huh?
It's Burgundy and it sparkles.

Here, have Annie chill it, Mother.

They'll be here any minute.
You'd better hurry up and get dressed.

How's everything going?

Everything's lovely. An ultimatum
from Annie, and this one's final.

- She's through tonight.
- Tonight?

It's all right, though.
She'll see us through dinner.

I don't see why you have servant trouble.
We have all the help we want at work.

I'd like to change places with you
just for one day.

What did you do with the witch hazel?

I didn't have it. Look on the third shelf,
back of the eyewash.

You're always putting things behind things.

That was a brilliant idea,
asking Eunice Doolittle at the last minute.

She and the Judge are like
corned beef and cabbage, always together.

And that impossible twerp, Carter.
I suppose you had to ask him, too?

Eunice had some sort of a date with Carter,
so what could I do?

I not only do all that guy's work for him,
I feed him, as well.

It's all going to be different
when my name goes up on that door.

- You really think so?
- It's practically up there now.

- What's for dinner tonight?
- Roast beef.

Roast beef? Doolittle's delight!

I wanted Yorkshire pudding,
but Annie's never heard of it.

It's all right. Between roast beef
and Higgins v. Higgins...

how can we lose?

Yes, sir, that's going to be all right,
my name up there on the door:

- Doolittle.
- Messerschmidt.

- Doolittle.
- Hutch.

And Mason.

Didn't I win my motion for a new trial
in Higgins v. Higgins?

- I had a memo from Doolittle today.
- You did? What did he say?

Said he couldn't have
handled it better himself.

When he eats from your table tonight,
he'll eat out of my hand.

- And will I tell Carter.
- And will we hop the Normandie.

- Will we go places.
- And will we do things.

- I don't like that tie. Wear the blue one.
- Holy Mackerel!

- Johnny, does your name have to be last?
- For the time being, anyway.

Do you know what it means
to get into a firm like that?

You know what it means to a firm
to get a man like you in it?

Here, hook me up.

- That's a pretty nice neck you've got there.
- As nice as Eunice Doolittle's?

What do I know about her neck?
Never even noticed she had one.

You know what time it is?
Get dressed, will you?

- I am dressed.
- Come on, then.

Old Granite Puss will be here any minute.

Good evening.

Judge, good evening. We were just...
I have great news for you tonight, Judge.

We're having roast beef for dinner.

Would you care for some more wine,
Judge Doolittle?

- What's that?
- More wine?

Yes, thank you.

- Annie, some more wine for Judge Doolittle.
- There ain't any more.

Annie, a salad fork for Judge Doolittle.

I put one there.

The funniest thing happened
the other day, Judge.

I ran across the yearbook
of my husband's class in college.

In their prophecy, he was picked
as the one most likely to succeed.

- What's that?
- The other day, I ran across the yearbook...

of my husband's class in college,
and in the class prophecy...

Yes.

Higgins v. Higgins
is a pretty important case, isn't it'?

We like to think
all of our cases are important.

The little client of today
may be the big client of tomorrow.

You're so right, Judge.

For instance,
we got a client the other day...

Oh, dear.
What happened to your ice cream, Annie?

I told you to get that icebox fixed.

Annie, give this note to Mr. Mason.

Is it true something new is going to happen
in the firm this week?

- Excuse me.
- What?

Excuse me, please.

Yes, we're going to have
a blood transfusion.

I'm only speaking
metaphorically, of course.

What I mean is that we're getting
some new blood into the firm...

appointing a junior partner.

- Could you stay and serve the coffee?
- No.

- All right, here's $7. I'll send you...
- I want my $12 now!

All right, Annie. I'll get it for you.

I'll get it, maybe.

That's the way we keep an old firm young.

- Doing this...
- Excuse me, please.

Every five years.

But it's quite a job to pick the right man.

I shouldn't think so.
Surely it's a question of merit?

As a rule, I trust my own judgment,
but when it comes to picking men...

Excuse me, please.

I think there's nothing
like a woman's intuition.

You're so right, Judge.

Of course,
Eunice doesn't know much about law.

But she's traveled all over the world,
and she does know people.

Five years ago, it was at her suggestion
that I took Mr. Hutch into the firm.

- It worked out so well...
- I beg your pardon. I'm very sorry.

This year, I have again
consulted my daughter.

And now a new name moves up
on the door of our offices.

Beginning next Monday,
the name of the firm will be...

Doolittle, Messerschmidt,
Doolittle, Hutch...

and Carter.

Congratulations. That's
wonderful, isn't it?

I always knew you had it in you, Carter.

I'd like to propose a toast
to the new partner...

but we seem to have run out of...

There isn't any more wine.

May I have some notepaper
and an envelope, please?

Certainly.

Thank you.

0, Columbia, the gem of the ocean.

- Would you like a stamp?
- No, thank you.

- Could I have a safety pin, please?
- Surely.

Thank you.

And I tell you, gentlemen of the jury...

that the defendant, Higgins,
with unbrotherly venom...

and motivated solely by a desire,
maliciously and hatefully...

to interfere with his brother's rights
and privileges...

deliberately and improperly diverted
the waters of the stream.

Gentlemen, I leave the determination
of these matters in your hands...

confident that your verdict will bring justice
to my client, the plaintiff in this action.

Gentlemen of the jury,
you will now retire to arrive at a verdict.

Jane, how long have you been here?

I got here just as you started
your summation. It was wonderful.

You should have been here
when I cross-examined Higgins.

- Your Higgins?
- No, the other one.

You skinned him alive.

I tore him apart. I really cut him up.

"The party of the second part wishes to
announce to the party of the first part..."

"that we're going to be in the market for a lot
of these for the party of the third part."

- Congratulations, Mr. Mason.
- Good work.

You did a swell job.

- How is she?
- She's fine. Everything was fine.

The baby weighs 7 pounds, 1.3 ounces.

- Is this mine?
- This is your boy.

- Now he's all yours, Mr. Mason.
- Yeah, all mine.

- Come in again sometime.
- Thanks very much. I will.

I mean, yeah.

What do you think you're doing,
holding up traffic?

Well now, what is it, a boy or a girl?

What do you think?

Cut that out, all of you!
You want to wake that baby?

All right, get going!

- Do you like him?
- Sort of.

Don't you think he's just beautiful?

- Jane, don't you think he looks old?
- What do you mean, old?

Don't you think
he looks about six months old...

or a year at least?

Don't be silly, darling.

Don't you think he's just beautiful?

- Hope he grows up to look like you.
- How can he? He has all your features.

I don't see how you can tell that
by looking at that face.

Look at the crinkles around his eyes.
They're just like yours when you're happy.

He doesn't look happy, Jane.
He looks kind of bored.

You'd be bored, too,
if you'd been through what he has.

Don't you think he's just beautiful?

Look at that grip.

But don't you think he's just beautiful?

Well, mister, how does it feel
to have your first bath?

Be sure you soap his head thoroughly.
It prevents cradle cap.

I know, Mother.

Little Johnny doesn't want
nasty old cradle cap, does you?

Boy, look at those shoulders.

Jane, can't I do something, please?

Johnny, look what you've done.
I almost dropped him.

- Will you please move over?
- Yeah, all right.

If you'd only let me show you how...

I know how, Mother.
They showed me in the hospital.

You don't rub him dry, you just pat him.

I am patting him.

He looks red. Maybe the water was too hot.

No, it wasn't, Mother. I tested it.
It was just right.

Was the water too hot for little Johnny?

- Johnny, give me his shirt.
- Shirt. Here.

No, not that one. This one.

Boy, look at that chest.
Come on, Jane, can't I help?

- Be careful of his little head, my dear.
- I will.

You'd better go in the kitchen
and warm his milk.

Milk. Okay.

Not too hot, John.

Hallelujah, he's bathed.

- A touch of the colic.
- It isn't, Mother. He's just hungry.

I'm sorry, my dear, it's a touch of the
colic. He's been crying for five minutes.

Johnny, where's that bottle?

All right, mister, here you are. Feedbag.

They don't eat with their hands, you dope.

- Here, hold this.
- What do you do there?

I'll get it.

- You see, Mother? He was just hungry.
- If he were fed on time, he wouldn't cry.

- As soon as we're organized...
- It's a pity he has to be fed on the bottle.

I haven't heard the baby complain as yet.

John never saw a bottle
till he was six months old.

I won't say anything.

What's that, my dear?

What do you think?
It's a present from old Granite Puss.

- I'll bet it's a summons.
- No, it's a bank book. Look.

He's deposited $10.

That's a lot of money for the little guy.

Hope it doesn't plunge Doolittle
into bankruptcy.

After that hospital bill, he's got
more cash in the bank than me.

I think it was very considerate of him
to think about the baby's future.

It isn't the future that worries me,
it's the present.

- Where are we gonna put him?
- Why can't he stay in our room?

You know he kept you awake all last night.

You should have considered that
before you rented this flat.

- I know I should have.
- If my own room weren't so small...

No, dear, I wouldn't think of it.

Why can't we keep him in our room
in the daytime...

and in the living room at night?

- It's too far from the bedroom.
- How about the dining room?

It's too near the kitchen,
but I guess it'll have to do.

- Missus?
- Yes, Hilda?

Could I see you for a minute, please?

What is it, Hilda?

Your mother-in-law hired me
when you was away...

but she didn't tell me why you was away.

You mean you don't approve
of my having a baby?

That's your business.

You can have as many babies as you like.

- Thank you. That's big of you.
- But my business is cooking.

You can get somebody else
to wash the diapers.

You're fired!

Johnny, now just don't worry about it.

I wish I could go back to the hospital.

After this lease is up,
I'll get you a house in the country.

You'll have a room all by yourself.

You'll have a garden
where you can ride your bicycle, and I'm...

Mother, come here. Jane, look.

He's smiling at me!

That's gas.

Hello, darling. How was it?

- Swell.
- Who was there?

- Just the same old crowd, 10 years older.
- Who spoke, Johnny?

Ed O'Mally. He made quite a speech...

about how he just bought a seat
on the Stock Exchange.

Joe Kendall, he just came back
from opening a London office.

Did you make a speech?

- Yeah.
- What did you say?

You know, just the kind of things you have
to talk about at reunions. Nothing much.

What did you say, honey?

My speech was pretty short.

What did I have to say?

- "Man most likely to succeed."
- You still are.

I bet your speech was swell.

Did you tell them that funny story
you told me yesterday?

No. Didn't think of it.

All I could think of was my achievements...

what I've accomplished, how far I've gone.

I suppose I could have told them
that I used your money, all of it...

- to buy furniture for this apartment.
- That's silly.

Your money, my money. What difference?
It wasn't much anyway.

I could have told them
that the baby sleeps in the dining room.

What of it? It's only temporary,
till we get another flat.

- Because I can't afford to get you a decent...
- Stop that! Don't say those things.

Sometimes I get so mad at you,
I can't see straight.

Sometimes I get so mad at myself,
I can't see at all.

I know what happened. Your dinner
disagreed with you. What did you have?

- I didn't eat anything.
- Now I know what's wrong. You're hungry.

Come on, honey.
I'll get you something out of the icebox.

Let's see. There's some cheese you like,
and a whole cold chicken. Which?

Chicken.

Darling, the trouble with you
is you let people step on you.

You do all the work
down in that office. Coffee?

I'll have milk.

You've forgotten more law
than Carter will ever know.

How do you expect people
to recognize your value... White or rye?

- Rye.
- Unless you recognize it yourself?

They couldn't get along without you
for a minute, and everybody knows it.

- Everybody but Doolittle.
- He does, too. He takes advantage of you.

I told you when he promoted Carter
over your head, you should have quit.

How could I do that? What about...

I know, your mother and me.
I wish you'd forget about us.

If I lost my job...

But you wouldn't. They wouldn't let you go.
You're far too valuable.

If you left, Doolittle would crawl on
his hands and knees and beg you to return.

Hands and knees? You don't know Doolittle.

I know you. All you have to do is speak up.

Stand right up to Doolittle.
Don't ask for your rights, demand them.

Remember when I bought you
that ring in Boston...

- and promised I'd get you a better one later?
- I don't want a better one later.

You said you liked the platinum one
with the diamonds.

That can wait.

I suppose the mink coat can wait, too?

In about 400 years,
I can afford to buy you one.

- What are you, a man or a mouse?
- A mouse!

You know what's wrong with you? You're
too modest. You don't appreciate yourself.

I do want the platinum ring,
and I want a fur coat.

Not the mink one, but a fur coat.
I want a honeymoon on the Normandie.

I want a place big enough that the baby
won't have to sleep in the dining room.

You can get me everything I want,
everything that's coming to me.

But first you've got to get
what's coming to you!

If I just knew how to go about it.

- It's easy.
- You think it's easy.

- You just walk right into the office and say...
- You don't walk into Doolittle's office.

- He sends for you.
- This time, you're going to walk in.

Go right up to him and say:

"Judge, there's something
I've got to say to you right now."

- You can't talk to him like that, though.
- Have you ever tried?

You don't understand.
If I barged in there like that, he'd...

- He'd say, "What is it, Mason? Sit down."
- He's never asked me to sit down.

Then stand up, but don't let him
interrupt you. Speak your piece.

"Speak your piece." It's easy to do
here in the kitchen. You get downtown...

Downtown or uptown,
what difference does it make?

You're not asking a favor of him.
You're demanding your rights. He'll listen.

- Make him listen.
- All right, what do I say?

You'll say:

"Judge Doolittle, I've been working for you
for five years now..."

"and I've given you everything
that's in me, every ounce."

- What will he say?
- "There's no doubt about it, Mason."

"I've never questioned your ability
or your loyalty."

- What will I say?
- "What are you going to do about it?"

I hate to think what he'll say.

He'll say,
"Mason, what do you expect me to do?"

You'll say, "Judge
Doolittle, the right thing."

"I want more money,
and to be taken into the firm."

- And he'll say...
- He'll say plenty.

No matter what he'll say, you'll say:

"Judge Doolittle, I either get a raise
and a junior partnership..."

"or else you can accept my resignation,
effective immediately."

"Effective immediately."

That's all right, Jane.

That's a good idea.
I'll do that some of these days.

"Some of these days" is tomorrow.

- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow morning at 10:00.

- Well, if you think I should...
- Darling, there's no time like the present.

Come on, now.
Let's start from the beginning.

I walk into the office, and I say...

"There's something
I've got to say to you right now."

"Either I get a raise
and a junior partnership..."

"or you can accept my resignation."

"Or you can accept my resignation,
effective immediately."

"Effective immediately."

Not bad.

I've been working in this office
for the last five years...

and there's something
I want to tell you right now.

Either I get a raise and a
junior partnership, or else...

Or else.

A raise and a junior partnership, or...

- Judge Doolittle is in.
- Okay.

Or else you can accept my resignation,
effective immediately!

- What is it, a jury case?
- Never mind. I'm thinking.

Here are the papers in City v.
Consolidated.

Drop over to Consolidated
and see their accountants.

Okay.

- Just got in.
- Okay.

Okay.

Come in.

Judge Doolittle, there's something
I want to say to you right now.

There's...

Judge Doolittle,
I've been working in this office...

It's you. Just the one I want to see.
Sit down.

Thank you, sir.

- Mason.
- Yes, sir?

- You've been doing pretty good work lately.
- Thank you, Judge.

You've been capable, dependable, and loyal,
right from the first.

That's mighty nice of you, Judge.

But, Mason, these are extraordinary
times for all of us.

Some of our biggest clients are affected.

They all complain they're practically
working for the government.

Most of them claim it'll be all they can do
to stay in business till the next election.

So they're cutting expenses right and left.
We're the first to feel it.

- Naturally, we must do something about it.
- Naturally.

- What?
- Naturally.

I don't want to cut down the personnel
of my staff, if I can possibly help it.

It wouldn't be constructive.

So the only way out, as I see it,
is to tighten our belts.

I'm asking everyone to take a 25% cut.

I'm taking a substantial cut
in my own personal drawing account.

It's a sacrifice, but it hits all of us.
And these are days of sacrifice.

Judge, I know, but I have...

In these times, we must all put our
shoulder to the wheel if we are to survive.

Yes, sir. The shoulder to the wheel.

- The only thing is, Judge...
- I'm glad you understand, Mason.

- And I appreciate your cooperation.
- Thank you, sir.

Hello? Excuse me, Mason.

Yes, sir.

Hello, Commissioner.

How are you?

Commissioner, you know that
little piece of property up on Park Avenue?

Yes. If the price is right...

- Did you want something, Mr. Mason?
- No, thank you, Lily.

- Well?
- Good morning, Johnny.

Good morning.

- How do you feel?
- I feel fine.

What time is it?

3:00. 4:00. 5:00. High noon.

It's 2:00, isn't it?

If you know what time it is,
why did you ask me what time it is?

What difference does it make
what time it is, anyway?

I feel fine.

- Feel better now?
- I feel fine.

- Are you comfortable?
- Perfectly comfortable.

Are you sure you're comfortable?

Certainly I'm sure I'm comfortable.

Don't you think you'd be more comfortable
if you took your shoes off?

Can I help you?

I can do very nicely by myself, thank you.
I feel fine.

What time is it? Am I comfortable?
How do I feel?

You'd think I'd committed
some kind of a crime or something.

You'd think I was on the witness stand.

I can do that.

A man comes home looking for
a little peace and quiet, and what happens?

"Why didn't you call me back?
Why didn't you come home for dinner?"

A million questions, just because a man...

I ran into Judge Doolittle this afternoon
after you saw him.

Johnny, you fool.

What difference does it make whether you
get a raise, a partnership, or anything?

I let you down. I'll always let you down.
I'm no good, Jane.

Johnny, don't say that.
It was my fault for interfering.

I made you do it, and I'm terribly sorry.

I'll never do it again, never.

We don't need anything.

We have each other and the baby,
our beautiful baby.

You're all I have, and all I want.

Please, if you tell me
you feel bad, I'll die.

Johnny, look at me,
and tell me you don't feel bad.

I don't feel bad, Jane.

Jane, I don't feel bad.

Honest I don't. I feel fine.

Johnny, the next time
you go out and get tight...

if you don't take me with you,
I'll get a divorce.

- You'd better get a good lawyer.
- I've got a good lawyer.

Keep coming. Come on, now.

If you want something, you gotta go get it.
That's it. Come on.

Miss Mason,
you should have seen him traveling.

Is you tired?

I've been all over town,
and my head is splitting.

Lean back,
and let Lily rub the back of your neck.

Been around visiting, Miss Mason?

Does Mr. Mason know
you're looking for a job?

Who said I was looking for a job?

Lily, it isn't nice to go prying
into people's affairs.

Excuse me, Miss Mason.

Lily, you must be the 15th woman I've had
working for me since I've been married...

and you're too good to be true.
You're worth your weight in gold.

That's a lot of gold.

You're the best woman I ever had
in my house, just simply perfect.

That's why it breaks my heart
to have to tell you...

Never you mind, honey.
I knows. I'm a luxury.

I'd never let you go. Never, if I...

Shucks, honey, you ain't getting rid of me.

You're just getting me off your budget.

- Is the head better?
- Much better.

I'll make an awful mess of things
without you.

No, you won't.
You'll step right in and do the job.

It's a pretty good job, too.

A whole lot better than you can get
on the outside.

Taking care of a nice young man
and a sweet little baby...

and an old lady that's
a little perniskey...

but that's because she's getting along
and don't have nothing to do.

I wish it were as simple as that.

Lily's a whole lot older than you are,
honey, and she's done a lot of living.

She learned one thing:

Never let the seeds stop you
from enjoying the watermelon.

That's all right if
you've got a watermelon.

You mustn't say that, Miss Mason.
You've got your watermelon.

But you chokes yourself up
on all them little seeds.

I always say, "Spit them out."

Spit them out
before they spoil your taste for the melon.

Spit them out.

Bless you.

Bless you.

Are you sure
Carter has our telephone number?

If he hasn't,
he certainly has a telephone book.

Then why do you suppose
he hasn't at least called up?

Maybe he forgot all about it.

Mother, a man doesn't invite you
to a New Year's Eve party...

and then just forget about it.

Maybe we should go join him at the party.

Jane, I told you,
I don't know where the party is.

He told me he'd meet us here
in his car at 9:00.

It's almost 11:00 now.

Isn't this party also to announce
his engagement to Eunice Doolittle?

I don't know. Something like that.

Perhaps he thought
it would be a little awkward...

to have you and Jane
at his engagement party.

Mother, how could it be awkward?

Are we going to sit here all evening
waiting to hear from him?

Let's call him up.

All the same, it might be awkward.

Why should it be awkward?

Hello, operator.

Hello? What's the matter
with this connection?

Operator, I'm calling...

Hello? Is this Mr. Carter's residence?

Is Mr. Carter there?

I see. No, thanks.

They say at Carter's house he left
two hours ago. So we can forget about it.

The baby definitely has the sniffles.

- All babies have sniffles at this time of year.
- He caught his cold from you.

That's simply ridiculous. Matter of fact,
I caught my cold from the baby.

He's had the sniffles all day.
And when I took his temperature...

That's when he caught your cold.

He certainly didn't. He had no temperature.

It isn't anything, Johnny.
It's just the sniffles.

I suppose I ought to stay in my room
all day.

Mother, that's silly.
You don't have to do anything of the kind.

Heaven knows I try to earn my room and
board by doing everything I can to help.

Mother, please, this is New Year's Eve.

It's just like every other day,
as far as I'm concerned.

You were both perfectly
willing to go off...

and leave me all alone
to wait for the New Year...

when perhaps it's the last New Year
I'll ever see.

Mother, why do you
keep saying things like that?

It's Carter.

- Good evening, Mr. Mason.
- Hello, Lily. How are you?

Happy New Year, Mrs. Mason!

I want to leave this with you.

- Lily, you sweet old thing.
- Thanks a lot, Lily.

It ain't nothing. I had a day off,
cooked up some chicken...

and where I work, they give me the wine.

- Happy New Year to you all.
- Happy New Year, Lily. Have a good time.

Goodbye.

That solves everything.

We don't have to go out.
We can stay right here and celebrate.

We'll open the wine now, and at
midnight we'll feast on Lily's chicken.

Come on, it's New Year's Eve.
Let's have fun.

You know it always gives me indigestion
to eat just before I go to bed.

Maybe there will be
some left over for me tomorrow.

I never did approve of Lily.
She's much too forward.

- But I do miss her cooking.
- That doesn't say much for mine.

Well, my dear, you'll learn.
It takes time, of course.

I won't say anything.

Times are different now.

When I was married, every well-brought-up
girl knew something about cooking.

Jane, what is it?

I can't cook or keep house,
I don't know how to bring up a baby...

I don't know what you're talking about.

You've resented me
from the first moment you saw me...

because you wanted
Johnny to marry Eunice Doolittle.

- My dear, I never said anything like that.
- You've hinted at it enough, though.

I did nothing of the sort.
But they were engaged.

Mother, I was never engaged
to Eunice Doolittle.

Not perhaps engaged...

And even if I was, you shouldn't
keep talking about it to Jane all the time.

I don't see why she should be
so touchy about it.

- Touchy? That's why you hate me.
- Jane, will you please...

No, let her go on.
She can say anything she likes.

I know my place here.
I'm just a guest, an unwelcome guest.

For crying out loud,
what's the matter with you two?

There's nothing the matter with me.

- This is her house.
- This is not my house.

- I do everything I can to help.
- Now, listen...

I'm the stranger around here.
Everything I say and do is wrong.

Just because I mentioned
that John and Eunice Doolittle...

Now stop it, both of you!

See what you made me say to Mother?

- You said it to me, too. Don't I count?
- Yes, of course.

But Mother's old and won't be with us long.
Why can't you get along?

Why can't she get along?
Because she hates me.

You don't know how it is.
You're at the office all day.

Between taking care of the baby,
the house, and cooking...

and listening to her criticize everything
I do, I can't stand it anymore!

You can spit out only so many seeds.

- What?
- Where are you going?

I don't know. Just anywhere
to get away from that wrangling.

Wait a minute.

Don't you want me to go with you?

Don't you understand a man
wants to be alone every once in a while?

- I'm sorry, Johnny, really I am.
- Jane, you don't have to apologize.

Would you rather I didn't come with you?

It's all right, Johnny. I don't mind.
You go ahead and have a good time.

You can come along if you want to.

- You sure you don't mind?
- Of course I don't mind.

We'll have a wonderful time.
You just wait and see.

Johnny, what's happened to us?

I don't know.

Maybe I pulled a dirty trick on you...

when I took the cinder out of your eye
up in Boston.

What do you mean?

I mean,
maybe the whole thing has been a mistake.

- What whole thing?
- Our marriage.

I've gotten into debt.
I've gotten no place at the office.

I've made a household drudge out of you,
just like mother said.

Jane, it just hasn't worked out.

But we haven't had any real trouble.

Maybe a few silly little things...

that all people have to meet
when they get married.

Maybe we shouldn't have had the baby.

Johnny, you can't be sorry about the baby.

I'm crazy about him.
I'm crazy about you, too, Jane.

I'd die for either one of you.

Everybody that passes this table looks
at you because you're beautiful and young.

- You've got your whole life ahead of you.
- Ahead of us.

No. Not when you're dragged down
by a guy who just can't make the grade.

I'm not going to hold you
to that kind of a contract.

You ought to know all about contracts.

I suppose this is what you call
starting the New Year right.

At least we finally found
something to celebrate.

Happy New Year.

Want to dance?

Happy New Year!

I think I'll go phone the house
and wish the baby a Happy New Year.

- A crying jag.
- Happy New Year, Blondie.

Hey, sister, wait a minute.

- Hey, lonely heart. What's the matter?
- Happy New Year.

All alone? Come on over and join our party.

Happy New Year.

Why are you so sad? Don't you feel good?

- I feel fine.
- Come on, handsome, we got champagne.

Look what I found.

A poor little lamb lost in the storm,
alone and neglected.

- Happy New Year.
- Johnny, come quick. The baby.

- The baby?
- Something's the matter with the baby.

Mother, the baby, was that...

- Dr. Healy, what is it?
- Pneumonia.

Dr. Healy.

Come into the office a minute.

Sit down, my boy.

You'd better get your wife.

Doctor, if it's bad news, I don't want her
to know about it. She couldn't stand it.

But you can tell me, Doctor.

Your baby has Type IX pneumococcus
with a streptococcus complication.

And I'm sorry to say
that the congestion is increasing.

There's a serum, a new one.
It's worked out in some cases.

Without it, we don't stand a chance.

With it,
perhaps we have a ghost of a chance.

We must get some of that serum
as soon as possible. Every hour counts.

I don't know whether we can locate
any of it in the city or not.

I'm going to check up on that right away.

- Doctor, please don't tell my wife.
- I won't.

Give me the City Health Department.

All the Type IX serum
has been sent to Salt Lake.

Why don't you try
Johns Hopkins in Baltimore?

Sorry, we shipped all we had
for the epidemic in Salt Lake City.

Yes, the epidemic is under control here in
Salt Lake. We can spare you six 20 cc vials.

But how will you get it in this storm?

- I've got to see Judge Doolittle right away.
- At this hour of the morning?

- You've got to wake him up.
- I couldn't do that.

You've got to. He knows me.
I work for him. I've got to see him.

I'm sorry, but Judge Doolittle
would never allow me to...

Say, there.

Wait, you mustn't do that.
Where are you going?

You mustn't do this. It's outrageous.

Judge Doolittle.

Come on, wake up.

- I'm sorry to wake you up like this.
- What is it?

I've got to talk to you right now.

- Are you drunk?
- My kid is in the hospital with pneumonia.

You must be drunk, waking me up like this.
It's outrageous. I've never heard of it.

- If this is your idea of celebrating...
- Put it on.

- Now, you listen to me.
- Now, you listen to me.

When you asked me to take that cut,
I didn't beef about it. I should have.

Because that's why the baby has to sleep
in the dining room.

What are you talking about?

My baby's in the hospital,
dying of pneumonia.

- What?
- Dying! Can't you understand?

- Dying?
- Yes! My baby!

Your baby?

Why didn't you get in touch with me before?
I'm terribly sorry to hear this.

I don't need sympathy. I need serum.

There isn't any in New York.
There's none anywhere around here.

And they finally found some
in Salt Lake City.

It's 2,000 miles away,
and every hour counts.

- Be calm, Mason.
- Be calm? I can't be calm.

I can't be calm until I get that serum.
The only way to get it here is to fly it.

Certainly, fly...

But there's terrific storms over Utah.
All the planes are grounded.

- If there's just one thing that we could do...
- Mason, you must get hold of yourself.

I know how you feel,
but you must get hold of yourself.

Suppose the planes are all grounded.

They could put it
on one of the fastest trains.

No, they can't. I told you, every
hour counts, every minute counts.

We need a plane from Salt Lake City.
We have a plane.

But the pilot wants $5,000
to fly it to New York.

I don't know, Judge.

I just didn't have anybody else to turn to.

Simon, what are you standing there for?

Get my checkbook. And get me a pen, quick.
One that will write.

Find out where
the nearest telegraph office is.

Yes, sir.

You should have
gotten in touch with me sooner.

Don't you worry about that serum. We'll
have it here, and in plenty of time, too.

Yes, Mr. Mason.
The serum's here and the money's here, too.

I could certainly use that kind of dough.

But the weather has gotten so bad,
it's impossible to take off, that's all.

What can I do?

I know exactly how you feel.

I'm a married man myself.
I've got a couple of kids.

I've got to think of them.

My wife won't let me. She says if I do go,
she won't be here when I get back...

if I get back.

- What do you do with a guy like that?
- Let me talk to him.

Listen, what do you think this is,
a suicide club?

You can't expect anybody in his right mind
to fly a plane on a night like this...

especially an old crate with whiskers.
Why don't you...

Sure, that's tough.

We'd certainly like to help you out.

Ain't there no other place
you could get some of the stuff?

Maybe in a few hours
when the weather clears up...

Gee, the guy's crying-

Now, wait a minute, buddy, take it easy.
Suppose we...

Maybe I...

He won't take no for an answer.

Hold the wire.
Jim, could I borrow your plane?

- Are you nuts?
- You know how it is.

You've got kids of your own.
Suppose you were in his place.

I can't let you take my plane.
I couldn't get insurance.

Hold it a minute. Keep your shirt on.

I'll give you half the money
if you loan me the crate.

What if you crack up?

Then you can keep the whole $5,000.
I won't need it.

I think you're crazy,
but all right, if you want to.

Okay, buddy, relax.

Think he'll ever get off the ground
with all that gas?

I did, going to Honolulu.

I can't say I like that kind of dough...

but it looks to me like
I'm going to be in $5,000 before morning.

He's all right. He's
holding his own nicely.

- May I go in and see him?
- You'd better not, just now.

Why don't you want me to see him?

- Please don't worry. It's only...
- Why don't you want me to...

You're lying to me!

You're lying to me. He's worse.
That's why you wanted the oxygen.

Jane, dear, please.

The oxygen is only to help him
until the serum gets here.

You're lying to me.

I want you to lie down and rest.
I'll give you something to make you sleep.

Will you do that for me?

Dr. Healy, please don't make me.
I couldn't.

I'm sorry. I'm all right.
When can I see him?

In a little while.

- If the baby dies, I want to die, too.
- I know, dear, but you mustn't feel that way.

You mustn't let John know
that you feel that way.

He loves the baby, too,
almost as much as he loves you.

Poor Johnny.
He'll be so lonely if the baby...

He'll have you, Jane, and you'll have him.

You can't be lonely, either of you,
as long as you have each other.

Do you know when you're really lonely?

It's when you have no one
to share things with, not even a loss.

Mother, you're lonely, aren't you?

I wasn't always a bitter old woman.
I wasn't always a pest and a nuisance.

Not when I had someone
to share things with.

And now the baby. My baby's baby.

Mother.

Denver calling Commercial NC-24.
Come in, Conway.

Come in.

Can't you read me, Conway?

Can't you read me? Come in, Conway.

Denver calling Newark.
Do you read me, Newark?

Still can't contact Conway.
Storm increasing over the Rockies. Denver.

Send out an emergency to all stations.
Stand by to contact Conway.

North Platte, Nebraska,
calling Conway Commercial NC-24.

Do you read me?

24, this is Omaha. Do you hear me, Conway?

Chicago calling Commercial NC-24.

Conway, can you read me?
Can't you answer, Conway?

No, we haven't seen or
heard a plane all day.

Sorry, it's no use sending searching
parties out in this blizzard.

If there was just something I could do...

If there was just something...

There is.

Will you come with me?

Sister Madelaine, I'm not a Catholic.

That doesn't matter.

You know how much he means
to Johnny and me.

We've only had him such a little while.

Dear God, please.

We do want to see him grow up
and be a man.

Please help our little baby.
We love him so.

He's so small and helpless.

He can't do anything for himself...

and we can't seem to do anything for him.

Please.

Shall I order
another tank of oxygen, Doctor?

If the serum isn't here
in another couple of hours...

- Hello, Johnny.
- Hello, Jane.

We'll always be together,
no matter what happens.

Just like this, always.

Who are you? What do you want?

- I'm hurt. Will you help me?
- Mercy's sakes alive!

- What is it? What's happened?
- Never mind that.

- What place is this?
- Liberty Corners.

- Where's that?
- 35 miles from New York.

For mercy's sakes alive!

"St. Francis Hospital, New York City."

"Rush."

Hello?

Operator?

I want the St. Francis Hospital.
New York City.

And reverse the charges.

Happy New Year, darling.

Happy New Year.

Gentlemen, I guess four is about enough
on a business day.

That's all very good, Joe,
but ain't it about time you bought one?

What's that?

Conway calling Doolittle.

And there are certain things, gentlemen,
that I want distinctly understood.

I called this meeting
of all the partners...

in order to make my position clear
once and for all.

That before I accept
your offer of partnership...

in the firm of Doolittle, Messerschmidt...

Doolittle, Hutch, and Carter...

you must know that I consider the methods
of this firm at the present time...

old-fashioned, self-satisfied...

high-handed, and thoroughly inefficient.

- It's seems to me...
- Quiet.

And I demand that they be changed,
effective immediately.

Come in.

Excuse me. I hope we haven't interrupted
anything important.

Johnny, I know Judge Doolittle won't mind.

We just couldn't wait. We had to rush down
the moment it happened.

What happened?

The baby can talk.

- No.
- Yeah.

No.

They don't believe us.
Come on, darling, let's prove it to them.

Show them. Don't be afraid.
Speak up. Say "daddy."

Come on, darling, say "daddy."

Come on. Speak up, don't be afraid.
Say daddy.

Say daddy.

Say "daddy."

Come on, Johnny. Say daddy.

Mama.

Troublesome bugger.

Think you're God's gift, don't you?

I think I'm all right,
thank you very much.

I think you're all the same.

Don't know what you've got it for.

All you young girls...

you're scared...

all talk.

Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh?

You bugger.

You dirty bugger.

Where's your sister? Eh?

Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides.

I'll see you later out the back
when the pub's shut.

That's what you think.

Hubert!

Oh, Eric, how did we do?

- Not so bad, not so bad.
- I want a word with you.

- I'm going out.
- Are you?

Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight.
On the nose, cross doubles and a treble.

- Every one a winner.
- Very nice, very nice.

(Lynda) Very nice.

Here...

sixteen pounds there.

Seven and... six.

You're a toff.
Here.

- Oh, thanks.
- Stay for a drink?

- Oh, no, no, got to push on.
(Lynda) Got to push on.

- Come on, parrot.
- Parrot.

- Show the man to the door.
- Yes, Dad.

- She's a lovely girl, isn't she?
- You think so?

- Oh, yeah, lovely girl.
- Then make me an offer.

Eh? (Laughs)

Ha ha.

Make me an offer!
No reasonable offer refused.

- Half a dollar, on the nose?
- Done.

(Both laugh)

- Hope your finger stinks.
- I'll see you later.

Cock off.

Hey!

- Hey! Where do you think you're going?

Out!

- Oh, no, you're not.
- Oh, yes, I am.

You're not, I'm telling you, you're not.

You stay in for a change.

I stay in, look after boring you know who,

you go to the pub or club... lovely.

Wrong. Freemasons.

Same thing.
Yap, yap, yap, yap.

Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub
or club with Long John Silver.

It's all bloody boozing.

Lynda, I don't want to hear it,
I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear?

Get rid of me then.
Make me an offer, ha ha.

You keep away from bus conductors.

Bus conductor!
Look at you, that's just about your...

I'm ashamed to be your father.

Oh, cock off!

Hey! You're not too old madam!

Remember that!

- Your bike's on fire.
- Up your bum!

You'll have to wait a bloody long time,
Mr Stinky Finger,

parrot chops, Long John Silver.

Up your bum, up your bum,
up your bum, up your bum

Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver.

Up your bum, up your bum

Up... your... bum

(Loudly) # Up your bum

Up your bum, up your bum

Up your bum, up your bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

Up your bum, up your bum!

Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum!

Up your bum!

Up your bum, up your bum!

Up your bum, up your bum!
Up your bum!

Up your bum!

What's going on down there?

Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley.

Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss.

Oh! Ooh!

- Next.
- Two sixes ple...

Can I have two sixes, please?

Two sixes.

Open or closed?

Er, open please.

Two sixes, a shilling please.

- Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger.
- No bother, we can use the change.

Next.

(Man) I want two cod and fours,
a cod and six, a plaice and six

two threes,
three fours and a couple of sixes.

All with crispy bits.

- Open or closed?
- Closed.

Two cod and four, a cod and six,

- what else?
- A plaice and six,

two threes, three fours
and a couple of sixes,

- all with crispy bits.
- Please!

Please.

Cock off.

Dave?

I'll see you later.

Hello, Lynda.

There, you bugger,
that's for you.

Lynda, I'm sorry.

Too bloody late.

(Woman laughs)

(lndistinct speech, woman giggles)

(Woman) Ooh!

Hello, it's me,
troublesome bugger, remember?

- About bloody time.
- Cheeky sod.

- What are you hanging about here for?
- Collecting bets.

Come and stand over by this wall.

Shh. This way.

Come on!

Come on, hurry up.

Have you got a match?

Can I have my matches back?

Mr Mingy.

What's this?

There.

How many you had on there?

Oh, a few.

- How many bus conductors?
- Oh, loads.

I'm not fussy,
that's why I'm here with you.

- So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend.
- Word gets round quick.

All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack.

What's all this then?

I come here to sleep,

to escape my dad
and boring bloody sister.

Who with?

You.

What you got down there, then?

- Don't know, have to have a look.
- (Mimics) Have a look?

Do you love me?

No, I don't love anybody,

not even meself.

Bloody hell.

Come on.

- Think you're it, don't you?
- You said that before.

Then I must be right.

You don't know how lucky you are,
I'm practically a virgin.

You've still got your pants on.

Not for long.

(Door opens)

Oh, my God, it's my dad.

- It's my dad!
- (Whispers) Quiet!

Oh!

I'm very sorry, madam, the, er...

the gate was open
and I thought you might have intruders.

Beg your pardon.

Oh my God, bloody hell.

If he wakes my dad, we're both dead!

I thought it was him, I really did.

(Whispers) Don't light the candle,
if he come out here we're dead.

Shut up and come down here.

- Oh, my heart.
- Come here.

I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel?
We left the bloody gate open.

What's the worry? Forget it.

- I thought it was him.
- What's it matter?

I can take care of your old man
you take care of mine.

- Oh, thank God it wasn't him.
- What's it matter?

- He don't care.
- Who?

Your dad.
Can't wait to get shut of you.

(Laughs) Half a dollar.

- That's what you think.
- That's what I know.

- What do you mean?
- (Mimics) What do you mean?

He told me.
He can't wait to get rid of you.

Says you're a bloody nuisance,
which you are.

He's fed up looking after you.

Big girl like you,
should be looking after yourself.

So what if he does come in here?
I don't care.

Mm?

Can't do it now.

- Why not?
- I'm scared.

- You're not leaving here until you do.
- You have to wear a plonker.

Uh-uh.

I'm not doing it unless you do.

- You don't know what you're missing.
- No plonker, no nookie.

Look, I'm an expert,
I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you.

Look, I'm a cowboy,
didn't you know that, eh?

The best bare-back riders in town.

There's some cotton thread and needles
for the folks away up yonder

A shovel for a miner
who left his home to wander

Some rheumatism pills
for the settlers in the hills

Get along, mule! Get along

Big finish.
Get along, mule, get along!

(Cheers)

That was wonderful!
Truly wonderful.

I have to give you a big kiss for that.

Come here!

- You should be a professional.
- Oh, I am, I am.

You too, Harry.

Any more, any more?

What about you, Auntie Millie?

Oh, I suppose so, why not?

You make me sound like some old woman.

You too, Joan.

Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me.

He's not fussy.

And...

the lovely Lynda.

Isn't she lovely?

Lovely.

In, out, in, out, shake it all about

You do the hokey cokey
and you turn around

And that's what it's all about

Oh, hokey cokey cokey!

Oh, hokey cokey cokey!

Oh, hokey cokey cokey!

Knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra ra!

Your mother wouldn't approve.

Pity she's not here to say.

She'd have shown you the door.

I've seen it.

I'm a respected man, Lynda.

A freemason.

I know that doesn't mean much to you.

Why should it?

I'm not here to be made
a bloody fool of, Lynda.

There's such thing as dignity.

You seem to think you're smart

but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool.

Just don't do it in my house.

I don't want to be witness
to that kind of spectacle.

What about Maisie Mathews?

I'm a man.

I don't know why you've turned out
the way you have.

(Whispers) God knows!

You're... You're in such a rush.

Why be in such a rush about it all?

I've left him.

- Who?
- Who? Him!

And my boring bloody sister.

She said she wants to join the army.

I thought she meant the Sally Army,
but she means the army.

- How'd you get in?
- It's not locked, is it?

You said you wanted me through the night.
You've got me now.

Father's blessing. Good riddance.

Can bugger off if you want.

Now...

Come here.

Cuddle me, please.

I'll clear up.

It's a bloody mess in here.

You stink of booze and fags.

You stink of chip fat.

It's this.

No, it's not.

Take it off.

You'd better take this off and all.

I can just fit you in before
the Novices Handicap at Kempton.

Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss?

Hold me, please. Just hold me.

What's the matter?

Gone off it, have you?
Not going to do it any more?

No!

We'll have to ring the papers about that,
won't we?

- I'll go to Bournemouth.
- You what?

You what? Bournemouth.

If you don't want me, I'll run away
to bloody Bournemouth.

Course I want you.

They don't have fish and chip shops
in Bournemouth, you know.

Or sheds.

Now, what would you do
without fish and chips,

sheds and my old man, eh?

- (Lynda sobs)
- Come on.

- Come on.

Come on, lovey.

Für Elise)

Hold it still, ladies. Stay still.

Hold it just like that, ladies.

Very still.

Thank you.

- Oh!

- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.

- Thank you, madam.
- Thank you so much.

Can I help you, sir?

Cup of tea, please.

We don't serve cups of tea, sir.

Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots,

although we can always make exceptions.

If you want a cup of tea
you must go to the caff

with all the other riffraff.

- This is a café.
- Pot of tea then.

Smart arse.

- Language.
- And a bit of cake.

Or a bun.

Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun,
honey bun, up your bum.

Fairy buns, seed cake,
cherry cake, fruit cake,

ginger cake, Eccles cake,
teacake, lemon cakes,

Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls,

jam sandwiches, macaroons,
cheese straws and scones.

I'll just have the tea.

Please.

- Please.
- Thank you.

- Him, there. Can you see?
- Yeah.

All right, serve him, will you, Vickie?

And if he asks where I've gone,
tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore.

Tea, sir.

Where's the...
Where's the other young lady?

- Pardon?
- Where's the waitress who took my order?

Oh, you mean the waitress
who took your order, sir.

That's right.

She's got an urgent call
and had to leave, sir.

Where to?

Singa-bloody-pore, sir.

(Lynda and Vickie laughing)

There he is.

There he is. There he is.

He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore!

Sh!

Lynda.

I wish he'd clear off.

Go away! Clear off!

Lynda!

Lynda!

Why don't you just bugger off? Go away!

Can't you see where you're not wanted?

I don't need none of you, just bugger off!

Lyndie!

Lyndie, oh, I say!
Never called me Lyndie before.

Must be after something.
Ha, bloody, ha!

But I miss you. I came to see you.

- I bet I know what you're missing!
- Look, you just cleared off!

I come back, you'd gone.

I thought you'd still be there, I really did.

Oh... just bugger off,
I don't want to think about it.

What's to think about?
Come on, I'll take you for a drink.

- You're just after your oats.
- And your mate.

I'll take you both for a drink...
a meal, if you want.

Oh, look out, Vickie,
he's after the two of us.

- Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well.
- Do you?

How much?
How much do you want to bet?

I wouldn't want to take your money.

Lynda up the duff, then,

what odds do you put on that,
eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh?

Oh, look, that's shut his gob.
That's put a crease in his brand-new suit!

- I don't believe you.
- Don't you?

- You're joking!
- Am I?

I don't believe you.

- How?
- How what?

How do you know?

You're the one that should know!
You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider.

You knew when you were gonna spunk.
How the hell was I supposed to know?

No, you soft cow,
I mean how do you know?

- Are you sure?
- You're the one all eyes.

- Look! Can't you see?
- No, I can't.

All you see is tits and arses.

- Have you seen a doctor?
- Huh!

Then how do you know it's mine?

If it walks with a limp
and thinks with its prick, then it's yours.

But how do you know?
I don't know that, do I?

- You stupid...
- Lynda!

- Get off!
- Lynda!

- Get off!
- Get off of me! Get off!

Lynda!
Lynda, stop it!

Leave me alone!
Piss off, you...

Leave... me... alone!

Piss off!

Whoops-a-daisy.

Lynda, come on.

Here we are.

Where's the paper?

This is it.

Doesn't look too bad.

What does she do? Did Doris say?

No.

- Is it knitting needles and all that?
- I don't know.

How much?

Where am I gonna get that sort of money?

Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea.

- (Crash)
- Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry.

Yes, what do you want?

Can I help you, sir?

From the moment you walked
through that door I thought,

That's my daughter and she's a slut!

Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir?

Don't be clever, Lynda.
From where I'm sitting you don't look clever.

I know why you're here
and I don't want to discuss it.

So, do you want a pot of tea
or would you just prefer to clear off?

- I'm disgusted, Lynda.
- With lemon, sir?

I thought I could have a perfectly
reasonable conversation with you.

- I thought I could come here and...
- I don't want you here, I'm at work.

And I've got Hermann Goebbels
breathing down my neck, just clear off!

I thought we could have a reasonable
conversation but all I wanna do is clout you.

Would you like a pot of tea first, sir?

Listen to you and your mouth,
look where it's got you.

Dad, I can't discuss it.
Will you just go away, I need this job!

- You're going to need more than a job.
- Oh, please, just bugger off!

Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell?

- Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?
- No, it's not.

(Mimics manager)
Is everything to your satisfaction, sir?

You see, what can you do?

- How do you put up with it?
- Oh, shut up!

This is disgraceful. Go
to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell.

No, I won't go to the kitchen.
Stuff the bloody kitchen.

- Just watch your mouth!
- Please!

This is what it's like, you see,
this is what you get.

- Now you can begin to see my side of it.
- Oh, please, just bugger off!

- Now, please!
- I said please.

- Do you see?
- Look, what is going on?

- I've given her a lot of time...
- Please, sir!

- Made a lot of sacrifices.
- Oh, God!

- Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it.
- What are you staring at, you old bag?

Please. Mrs... Madam... please!

- Well, she is an old bag!
- That is enough!

- Lynda!
- Allow me to apologise.

She whinges about everything.
Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day.

That is enough.
Language, please!

Well, it's true,
what's wrong with the truth?

You're fired! You are dismissed.

- Get out!
- No, I won't!

This one goes around
with his brown nose up in the air,

down on the carpet,
la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that.

The cook spits in the buns
and we all piss in the teapots.

- That is enough. Out!
- She's a bad lot, and that's the truth.

Nothing but trouble,
that's the way it's always been.

- This is my father speaking.
- Since she could speak, she's uttered filth.

From the day she uttered her first word
her tongue has caused nothing but trouble.

- This is my father.
- Sometimes I doubt it.

- An insult to my dead mother.
- I'm sorry but this cannot go on.

I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose!
I'm pregnant! In the club!

Right, that's it! That's enough!

A man's willy has entered my person

- and left a little visitor behind.
- Get down!

- This is a matter for the police.
- This is the man

- who once gave one to Gracie Fields.
- Down!

I'm calling the police.

- A member of the British Legion.
- Get down!

- Am I the only one who does it?
- This is not my daughter.

- What do you lot do, eh?
- Not my daughter.

- What do you play with in bed at night?
- I disown her!

Hands up all those that like willies, I do!

The police are coming.

- Balls!
- Ladies and Gentlemen...

I would like to apologise
for this disgraceful display...

So what, I'm up the duff, who cares?

- I will settle.
- I like willies!

- Get her down!
- All these teas on me. Right?

Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if
you could do with a nice bit of hot willy!

- Get her down!
- Sex!

Boy) It's getting kind of close
to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental.

I'm going to sing a song
that means a lot to me and...

somebody else.

And if you don't like it that's just too bad.

After all, I own the joint.

It had to be you

It had to be you

I wandered around

Finally found the somebody who

Could make me be true

Could make me be blue

And even be glad, just to be sad...

How long is it now?

Three months, more or less.

It's not too late.

No.

What happened?

When?

Your father came home very sorry
for himself. Whatever happened?

Silly bugger.

I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms
and shouted.

I can't remember what I said.
It was terrible.

He offered to pay for everyone's teas.

You didn't need to do that...

not to your father.

I'm not coming back, you know.

No matter what.

Where you gonna go then?
Who's gonna want you with a baby?

Where you gonna live?

- Not in that dump.
- Nobody's asking you to, my dear.

Things like this don't happen
in that sort of town.

I can just see your father's face.

Go down well at the Freemasons.

He didn't have to stick with you, you know,
when your mum died.

Nor your sister.

- My boring bloody sister.
- Now, you leave her alone, she's all right.

Thank God she's not like you.
Two of you like that, my God!

He could have put you in a home,
you know.

Not many men would have done what he did
on his own with two young girls.

- He didn't love me.
- Oh, yes, he did.

He didn't show it.

You can't show that kind of thing,
not in this day and age.

You're a pretty young thing...

you're funny, but you're pretty.

You could get yourself a nice husband.
Somebody who'd really look after you.

Do you think?

Yeah, I do.

But not like that.

Who's going to want you like that?

It's not too late. Not yet.

Would you know where to go
if you wanted to get rid of it?

It's all right for you to say that.
It's not you that has to do it.

No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right.

What if I had it?

Then have it adopted.

You must've thought about it.

You keep that kid
and nobody'll want you.

Nobody'll want to know you,
nobody'll want to own you. Nobody.

Forget the whole thing, bury it.
Nobody need know a thing about it.

Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to
go round banging your head with a hammer.

Look at me.

Look at your father.
Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he.

I lost Bill, he lost your mum
and we're on our own, stuck!

There's always enough pain.

What about Maisie Mathews?

Well, why shouldn't he?

What's he expected to do
the rest of his life?

I wish I had somebody.

I hope he used a plonker.
I'd hate to see what'd come out of her.

That's good advice, coming from you.

You're gonna have
to make your own mind up.

- I've got to go.
- Not yet.

It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you.

- I'm sorry.
- Here.

Now, think about what I said.

You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie.

Here.

Would you know where to go
if that's what you decided?

- To get rid of it?
- If that's what you decided.

I could find out.

I'm going to go, so just you take care.

(Man) There you go.

Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian.

Yes, it's mine.

All mine.

(Doorbell)

When it comes to dreams

Love has always played a leading part

I don't play for dimes and nickel

I don't play to be the last

When it comes to love

I shoot first, shoot to kill

I aim straight for the heart

You won't

Forsake me

To heaven

You take me

Don't try

To wake me

I'm just lost in a dream

You won't

Forsake me

To heaven

You take me

Don't try

To wake me

I'm just lost in a dream

I'm just lost in a dream

I'm just lost in a dream