Original subtitles

Why did you become rental oyaji?

It would be nice to be helpful to others.

Sounds like bullshit.

As for me, my wife's been silently borrowing money from my brother

and in order to pay him back myself

I started working as a rental oyaji.

Shouldn't there be more profitable jobs?

He was desperate to do this.

I never said that.

He can't do it by himself, so he wants me to help.

It was you and your lack of work experience why you asked me to help...

You think I called you to listen to your fraternal quarrels?

It's your lack of redeeming features

and your anxiety of coping with things by yourself

why you registered as a set.

That's what I heard from Murata-san.

Should such half-baked people really be allowed as rentals?

Some clients also do interviews, huh?

That's not the norm, though.

But since it's a long-term request.

Long-term?

I figured it would suit them, since they just registered

and don't have any appointments yet.

I'll have the microwaved pilaf today.

Sure. One microwaved pilaf.

I looked at your rental oyaji site.

It's important to make a good impression.

So what's with the sunglasses?

Are you even trying?

Well, I'm more like... an external tag-along.

I'm, you know. Since he's family.

Do you guys think this job is embarrassing?

Did I call two ashamed rental oyaji?

I've heard enough.

Today's fee.

Starting next week, Mondays and Fridays.

For a period of three months.

- Three months? - What happens in three months?

We were told not to pry too much!

You're right.

I'll be dead.

In three months, the world is going to end.

Translation: HPriest @ d-addicts Twitter: @hpriestsubs

4, SHIKU

You're slow.

What about this cardigan?

Too flashy. Next!

Your screen is too tiny!

Looks ugly. Next!

I think it would be faster to mail you.

I don't want to tell you my mail address.

Next!

No.

Next!

Doesn't feel right.

Don't give me that sigh.

That was the first one I showed her.

You serious? What does she want!?

It's not about the cardigan.

She enjoys making us run around.

We're her stress relievers.

Excuse me, but I have a question.

Yes?

You don't have to tell us if you don't want to tell us,

but by keeping everything so vague,

it's also difficult for us to respond.

What I mean is that you...

That you actually...

Do you even want to buy a cardigan?

Why else would I make you look for one?

Then maybe you should look with your own eyes.

I'm tired.

Those heels are not made for shopping.

But you wanted to go shopping today, right?

- Why wear them in the first place? - Because I wanted to.

She's got a point.

You...

Where are you pictures?

We've been searching the whole area

and haven't found a single cardigan that was to your liking.

And that's because you don't...

Nice one. Looks good.

I did it...

Jiro-san. Go and buy this one.

Here you go. You can keep the change.

Sweet!

What's your name again? [ "Nani-ro" since their names are Ichiro and Jiro ]

Okay, the left one now.

What a pain in the ass.

It stinks!

Your feet stink! You've gotta be kidding me!

Wait. Hey!

This is gonna be weird...

...if you only do one side!

Pyramid power.

That makes 67,800 Yen, please.

You're doing well, Sumiko-san. How much is your fortune?

There's no reason to hold onto my fortune.

After all the world is going to end.

She's the real deal.

I tell you.

Man, I'm tired.

Naniro. Go and search for a cardigan. [ "Nani-ro" since their names are Ichiro and Jiro ]

A ca...?

You just bought one.

I want another one.

I'll be waiting at my usual place, so go and take pictures again.

As you wish.

Wait.

Excuse me for asking, but why are you wearing the same shoes again?

You knew they'd be bad for shopping.

- Naniro. - I'm Ichiro.

Naniro, you really don't understand a thing, do you?

I know that I'm not Naniro.

Look! This is snakeskin.

Last time I wore crocodile leather!

- I knew that. - Liar!

I wanted to wear those shoes today.

- I'm sure you did. - Right?

Come.

Where are you going?

The toilet.

Come.

Why are you taking her side?

'Cause I'm Jiro-san and you're Naniro?

Don't point at me!

I don't remember us signing some kind of slave contract.

You really don't get it. Look at our Sumiko-sama.

Sumiko-sama?

Listen. She's a shumatsuronsha.

(eschatologist)

Shumatsu? Weekend?

No, world end.

Sekai no Owari. End of the world. Not the band, though.

She said so herself on the very first day!

She's just mocking us!

No, she's serious. She's the real deal.

She truly believes that the world is going to end in three months.

- That would mean she's crazy. - There are people like her.

Even I love those kind of stories.

Nostradamus. The prophecies of Fatima. The secrets of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

The end of the world has been prophesied many times.

And proven wrong countless of times, too!

There are people who completely buy into those stories.

Take that Maya prophecy.

There were talks about the world ending in 2012, right?

No idea.

I guess they don't include that in Basics of Neologism.

At the time, there was some rich American guy.

Since he was convinced that the world is going to end,

he spent all of his fortune at once! Sumiko-sama is the same.

If things go well, I can cash in on her, pay back the money and everyone is happy.

Slaves for the win.

Sumiko-sama. Pardon me for the delay.

We, the slave brothers,

shall find you a new and matching cardigan at once.

Are you making fun of me?

If you act like that,

you make it look like I'm using you as my slaves.

I don't mind.

Since you proclaimed it yourself.

Be a good slave and find me a cardigan asap.

Naniro.

Shall we treat ourselves to something nice?

- I'd like that. - Let's go.

Good luck, Naniro.

I apologize on behalf of Naniro.

He took your joke seriously

and thinks that you actually believe that the world is going to end.

He's such a fool. That's the way he is.

The world is going to end.

If I say it's going to end, it's going to end.

You got that? Naniro.

You're actually using the microwave.

Rather than spending time on making something as trivial as pilaf,

wouldn't frozen food be just as delicious?

- Here you go. - Thanks.

With the shorter preparation time and reduced price

we have 1.5 times more customers during lunch.

You're a smart one.

How's your brother?

It's bad.

Bro.

Want some udon?

Assuming that black holes behave like Matryoshka dolls, it's left at the next turn.

Now to avoid... the Grand Cross.

I knew it! The workings of the universe. Right now, right here!

It's not the time yet.

My brother and eschatology don't mix well.

How about you mix it with some conspiracty theories?

To act as counter balance? Like Sadako and Kayako.

What are you talking about?

You don't know? I'm talking about Sadako.

I've been investigating various prophecies in order to thwart the end of the world.

Sumiko-sama mentioned three months,

but I couldn't find any corresponding prophecies.

You tried your best, Naniro.

- Don't call me that! - My bad.

This is the only one left. The prophecies of the people from the near-future.

If you send them a LINE friend request,

you can read about the latest prophecies.

I can't use LINE on my PHS. [ Personal Handy-phone System ]

Use your smart phone and become friends with those near-future people.

I'm not doing that. Who the hell are they?

If you don't befriend them,

I can't gain access to their fee-based membership site.

That's a complete scam!

You're the one who started talking about eschatology!

I'm more into the analogue occult.

I've no interest in LINE or fee-based stuff.

There are lots of ways to make money, huh.

- Don't get any bad ideas. - I won't.

What prophecy is she talking about?

You know, you could just ask her. That would be the quickest way.

If I ask her some weird question, she's gonna call me Naniro again!

Who gives a shit?

I'm Naniro. You're Naniro. We're the Happy Nani-Nani Brothers.

Are you giving up?

Give up what!?

- Tomorrow's shopping spree? - Not that one.

Ah! It's Sumiko-sama! She's watching me!

She's not.

Where are we meeting tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Tomorrow we...

We've been expecting you.

If anything comes up, please use the nurse call at the bed.

Okay.

Here are all the details. Please make sure to read them.

Thank you very much.

It's pretty nice here.

I was lucky to get this one.

This past month, I met with my friends, parted with my colleagues,

sold my apartment and disposed of all my fortune.

What? Why the long faces?

I told you from the start.

"I'll be dead."

The world that's going to end, it's my world.

I haven't told anyone about my disease.

I don't have a family either. It's easier that way.

Your disease...

I even sought for a third opinion.

But there's nothing that can be done.

All I can do is sit back and relax.

I do like to travel solo,

but isn't it nice to have company for at least two days per week?

If I were to talk to my friends, they'd only get worried about me,

but my disease won't get cured no matter how much time they dedicate.

I won't be able to return the favor at all.

Going forward, I might go crazy at some point.

All the relationships I've built so far.

All the memories might get ruined.

That's the last thing I want to happen.

An indifferent pair of brothers I can call names, hired by money.

That's more than enough company.

We're so indifferent.

Naniro at your service.

Too sloppy!

It's transparent, so why care?

You can tell once it's finished.

You two are brothers, but you don't resemble each other in any way.

Jiro takes after our father.

The handsomeness.

Handsome?

I'd be happy to convince you.

The jobless and rootless aspect, too.

Our father's been missing.

- That so? - Yeah.

A self-proclaimed inventor.

Apparently it's inheritable to be jobless.

Speak for yourself.

I'm on a temporary break.

Unlike you, I have nothing in common with our father.

I don't take after our unsophisticated mother either.

Are you adopted?

That's mean!

I had the same thought and checked the family register,

but I'm their biological child.

You checked?

Adopted or biological. Which one would have been better?

Either way, I'm the eldest son.

I would have preferred if I had no relatives.

I guess even you have your problems.

Since our mother is dead, it's only us brothers now.

Nobody cares about eldest son and shit.

Your mother is dead?

How? At what age?

She was sick and hospitalized...

She was 52.

Oh my... That's eight years younger than me.

Having two sons, she must have been happy.

Now then...

Maybe Sumiko-san isn't dying after all.

I mean, she's completely healthy.

Nothing like our mother.

Bawling her eyes out.

It's 50 Yen per piece. Pay and you can have one.

How petty.

Will you run away again?

You weren't there for mother when she died.

You came up with a lame excuse about some accident.

She was waiting for you.

Taking after our father, her most precious child.

She cared about you the most.

Why bring this up now? It's been decades.

Will it be some accident again?

On Sumiko-san's last day?

This is our job. You better see it through until the end.

I know.

She's a complete stranger and we're the Naniros.

It's nothing.

50 Yen!

You can keep the change.

- It's exactly 50 Yen. - Damn right.

Sour!

The tea is ready.

There's an upright-floating tea stalk! [ considered a lucky omen ]

Look! [ considered a lucky omen ]

- You're right. - That's amazing.

Go ahead.

Say. Can I tell you something I haven't told anyone?

In primary school, there was a small crystal in the science room.

When the evening sun was shining at it, it created beautiful prismatic colors.

I was gazing at it all the time.

On graduation day, I went to see it for the last time

and somehow I wanted to have it by all means.

- You snatched it. - Yes.

What a bad girl.

I ran to the nearby coast

and knowing I was safe at this point, I took it out of my pocket.

When I held it up against the evening sun,

I suddenly overcame with guilt.

It wasn't pretty at all!

Even though it was so pretty inside the classroom.

It looked like a simple piece of glass.

Eventually it got dark

and since I got worried, I dropped it in the ocean.

Destruction of evidence.

I had completely forgotten about it, but I remembered it the other day.

Maybe it's because of that why I got this disease?

My punishment for transforming a pretty crystal into a piece of glass

and sinking it in the ocean.

That's...

There's no way that's connected.

I would like that, though.

If it was because of someone I hurt...

Wouldn't it be unbearable to think

it's my punishment for having hurt someone in the past?

I'd rather it be my punishment for the crystal.

Why am I the only one who is going to disappear from this world?

Don't you think this is the wrong course of action?

You're thinking too much.

But to wake her up from her sleep!

What? It was your idea.

I never said anything about coming here at this hour.

- It's too late to go back now. - It's not.

Since we're already here, we...

Nani-Nani Brothers presents Talk Night about the End of the World

The legend of the Hopi.

Once the nine omens occur, the Great Day of Purification is nigh.

Eight of the omens have already come true.

Next is the ninth omen.

A dwelling-place will appear above the earth

that shall fall and cause a huge explosion.

Once the ninth omen occurs,

the current world, the so-called Fourth World will be destroyed.

In the Indian calendar, Shiva - the god of destruction will arrive at the end of time.

The destruction of the world. The downfall of mankind.

The supernova explosion of Betelgeuse in the constellation of Orion.

In a supernova explosion, gamma rays get released all at once

and terminate all life in a radius of thousands of light years.

To put it simply, mankind and the earth will be destroyed many times over, right?

That's right. It will be very busy.

All of us are going to perish eventually.

Although it's difficult to calculate the exact day.

And you haven't seen her for about a month, you say?

She suddenly told us we don't have to come anymore.

She even blocked our calls. And suddenly, we're here.

A lawyer and I were present during her final moments.

It appears that she really didn't tell anyone.

She was oddly obsessive about getting a burial at sea.

She asked me to find a company that can spread her ashes at sea.

But she didn't tell me her reason.

I wonder why she wanted such a burial?

There's something else she told me, though.

"Even though I wish I was hated by them."

"Naniro were just enough."

Ichiro and Jiro. You're such fools.

She was an awful person.

The worst.

SHIKU

The inevitability of death.

Translation: HPriest @ d-addicts Twitter: @hpriestsubs - ko-fi/patreon: hpriestsubs