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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,339 --> 00:00:02,039 - So, you're dating this girl... - Hannah. 2 00:00:02,041 --> 00:00:04,579 ...for two months, and you haven't introduced us, 3 00:00:04,580 --> 00:00:07,247 which means she must be horrible, which is saying a lot, 4 00:00:07,249 --> 00:00:10,250 considering your last girlfriend stole from you. 5 00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:13,654 It was just a couch and my identity. 6 00:00:13,656 --> 00:00:16,657 But this girl's actually much better than usual, 7 00:00:16,659 --> 00:00:18,458 like, maybe the best. 8 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:20,260 Maybe the one. 9 00:00:20,262 --> 00:00:21,962 - Ohh! Mazel! - Ohh! - Get out! 10 00:00:21,964 --> 00:00:24,264 Get her over here this minute! 11 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:26,466 I wanna meet my future daughter-in-law! 12 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:29,102 I don't know. I'm not ready for her to meet you guys yet. 13 00:00:29,104 --> 00:00:33,273 She's, like, a really kind, good person. 14 00:00:33,275 --> 00:00:36,076 And we can be... a lot. 15 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,146 A lot of gorgeous people? 16 00:00:39,148 --> 00:00:41,915 A lot of pizzazz? 17 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:46,853 A lot of extremely well-curated pieces of men's sportswear? 18 00:00:46,855 --> 00:00:51,158 Or a lot of yelling in quiet places, 19 00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:53,527 a lot of talking about people, 20 00:00:53,529 --> 00:00:56,763 a lot of yelling about people in quiet places. 21 00:00:56,765 --> 00:01:00,968 It's true, but eventually, she will come around, like I did. 22 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,971 Excuse me, but what is it about us 23 00:01:03,973 --> 00:01:06,607 that you had to come around to? 24 00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,842 Well, at first, I had a hard time 25 00:01:08,844 --> 00:01:10,911 with some of the family quirks, 26 00:01:10,913 --> 00:01:13,580 but then I just sort of let it wash over me, 27 00:01:13,582 --> 00:01:15,382 like when you're drowning. 28 00:01:15,384 --> 00:01:16,817 Oh, please. 29 00:01:16,819 --> 00:01:19,553 To know this family is to love this family. 30 00:01:19,555 --> 00:01:21,822 True dat! 31 00:01:21,824 --> 00:01:25,726 Yes, Mom. True dat. 32 00:01:25,728 --> 00:01:27,227 And I will have you know, Joanna, 33 00:01:27,229 --> 00:01:29,162 that the very crab dip you're eating 34 00:01:29,164 --> 00:01:32,799 was gifted to us by a dad from Asher's class. 35 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:35,769 It tastes like he re-gifted it. 36 00:01:35,771 --> 00:01:40,107 The point is, people from our kid's school bring us food 37 00:01:40,109 --> 00:01:41,675 because we're generally considered 38 00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:43,110 to be cool, good people. 39 00:01:43,112 --> 00:01:44,311 Mm. 40 00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:45,979 Or because I'm room mom. 41 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:48,115 Hey, tell Hannah about that. People love that. 42 00:01:48,117 --> 00:01:50,083 No. 43 00:01:50,085 --> 00:01:51,752 Well, this is ridiculous. 44 00:01:51,754 --> 00:01:54,221 If you care about this woman, we have to meet her. 45 00:01:54,223 --> 00:01:56,690 Tell Hannah to come to our next game night. 46 00:01:56,692 --> 00:01:59,960 Okay, just don't embarrass me. 47 00:01:59,962 --> 00:02:02,763 Oh, what are you talking about? I never embarrass you. 48 00:02:02,765 --> 00:02:06,867 Dad, you always find a way to bring up my feet. 49 00:02:06,869 --> 00:02:11,271 Sweetie, you're gorgeous from the ankles up. 50 00:02:12,650 --> 00:02:17,358 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 51 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,982 Hannah recently spent a summer in Tibet. 52 00:02:21,984 --> 00:02:24,551 I led a retreat through my meditation studio. 53 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:26,853 It was such an amazing experience. 54 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,156 I actually got to see the Dalai Lama. 55 00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:30,691 Oh, cool! 56 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:32,459 I mean, one time, I thought I saw Gary Busey 57 00:02:32,461 --> 00:02:35,295 when I was snowboarding in Vermont at a TGI Friday's, 58 00:02:35,297 --> 00:02:37,664 but it turned out it wasn't him. 59 00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:42,836 Should we eat, or what's the... 60 00:02:42,838 --> 00:02:46,306 Let's all enjoy this lasagna that Tristan's mom brought us. 61 00:02:46,308 --> 00:02:47,474 Well, I don't know about "enjoy." 62 00:02:47,476 --> 00:02:50,210 There's barely any sauce. 63 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,678 Folks from the school bring us food 64 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,715 because we're widely known as cool, excellent people. 65 00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,683 Stewie's right. It's too dry. 66 00:02:56,685 --> 00:02:57,984 Let's just dump it. Yeah. 67 00:02:57,986 --> 00:02:59,353 No, no, no. No. 68 00:02:59,355 --> 00:03:00,687 I'll put it in the garage fridge, 69 00:03:00,689 --> 00:03:02,222 then I can bring it home, 70 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,691 and tomorrow I'll give it to a local soup kitchen. 71 00:03:04,693 --> 00:03:06,526 You are such a generous soul. 72 00:03:06,528 --> 00:03:10,630 That's cute. You think Joanna has a soul. 73 00:03:10,632 --> 00:03:12,499 Well, they did bring us one good thing... 74 00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:15,402 these brownies, but there's only one left. 75 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:18,205 What do you say we play Hot Goss for it?! 76 00:03:18,207 --> 00:03:19,740 - Ohh! - Always! Yes! - Hot Goss! 77 00:03:19,742 --> 00:03:21,742 That's something good! 78 00:03:21,744 --> 00:03:23,276 I'm sorry. What are we doing? 79 00:03:23,278 --> 00:03:25,679 I know that you said, Hannah, that teaching orphans 80 00:03:25,681 --> 00:03:27,614 how to play soccer was a highlight of your life, 81 00:03:27,616 --> 00:03:29,816 but in this family, nothing revs our engines 82 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:32,686 like our favorite game... Hot Goss. 83 00:03:32,688 --> 00:03:35,021 We all say our best piece of gossip, 84 00:03:35,023 --> 00:03:36,790 and the winner gets a prize! 85 00:03:36,792 --> 00:03:38,091 Okay, I'll go first. 86 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,061 In 2005, my friend Justin was a set PA 87 00:03:41,063 --> 00:03:43,463 on the critically acclaimed film "Failure to Launch." 88 00:03:43,465 --> 00:03:44,765 - Ooh! - Ah! 89 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,501 And without getting into too many details, 90 00:03:47,503 --> 00:03:49,870 everything between SJP and Matthew McConaughey 91 00:03:49,872 --> 00:03:52,105 was not, "Alright, alright, alright." 92 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:55,275 Romantic-comedy goss! 93 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:56,610 Mine's better. 94 00:03:56,612 --> 00:03:59,513 So, Mort Sherman has been telling everybody 95 00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:02,215 that his grandson is going to Penn. 96 00:04:02,217 --> 00:04:03,850 But Phil Miller tells me 97 00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:07,220 that he's actually going to Pennsylvania Community College. 98 00:04:07,222 --> 00:04:08,822 Busted goss! 99 00:04:08,824 --> 00:04:10,123 Boo! 100 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,559 That sucked, Stew! 101 00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,027 What? What? 102 00:04:14,029 --> 00:04:15,729 Hey, a-at least it's from this year. 103 00:04:15,731 --> 00:04:17,664 I mean, like any of you have anything better. 104 00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:20,734 Uh, I think I might. Oh, look out. 105 00:04:20,736 --> 00:04:24,104 I know why Mrs. Bowman from Asher's school 106 00:04:24,106 --> 00:04:25,272 is getting a divorce. 107 00:04:25,274 --> 00:04:26,907 - Oh! - Ooh! - Mm-hmm. 108 00:04:26,909 --> 00:04:29,209 I saw Mr. Bowman outside the movie theater 109 00:04:29,211 --> 00:04:30,811 with a hot blonde! 110 00:04:30,813 --> 00:04:32,012 Tell me! Tell me! 111 00:04:32,014 --> 00:04:33,914 A movie theater with reclining seats! 112 00:04:33,916 --> 00:04:35,482 - Oh, my God! - I love it, love it! 113 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,050 He's been having an affair! 114 00:04:38,086 --> 00:04:40,353 Oh, sweet goss nectar! 115 00:04:40,355 --> 00:04:41,955 The rush! 116 00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:46,192 - Rebecca wins! - Rebecca wins! 117 00:04:47,930 --> 00:04:49,195 Whoo! 118 00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:55,702 You know what? I am so sorry. 119 00:04:55,704 --> 00:04:57,537 I just remembered I have an appointment. 120 00:04:57,539 --> 00:04:59,906 - What? - Um, wait, what's going on? 121 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,541 - What did they do? - Nothing. 122 00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:03,944 I'm so sorry. I'll see you later tonight. 123 00:05:07,416 --> 00:05:08,949 What did you do? 124 00:05:08,951 --> 00:05:10,817 What did you do?! 125 00:05:16,258 --> 00:05:17,824 Hi, sweetie! 126 00:05:17,826 --> 00:05:21,962 We brought you the lasagna for your hobos. 127 00:05:21,964 --> 00:05:25,432 Thanks, and don't say "hobos." 128 00:05:25,434 --> 00:05:28,535 Why? That's what they call themselves. 129 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:32,172 So, Joanna, we realized what may have upset Hannah last night. 130 00:05:32,174 --> 00:05:34,641 Yes, I feel terrible that we didn't let Hannah 131 00:05:34,643 --> 00:05:36,276 play the goss game. 132 00:05:36,278 --> 00:05:39,145 I mean, nothing could have topped Rebecca's goss, 133 00:05:39,147 --> 00:05:41,381 but still, I should have let her play. 134 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,083 I feel terrible. 135 00:05:43,085 --> 00:05:44,918 Mom! 136 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,288 The problem wasn't that Hannah didn't get a chance to gossip. 137 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:51,191 The problem was that she didn't want to gossip. 138 00:05:51,193 --> 00:05:53,126 She doesn't believe in it. 139 00:05:53,128 --> 00:05:55,195 Well, what does she talk about? 140 00:05:55,197 --> 00:05:56,863 I don't know. 141 00:05:56,865 --> 00:05:59,966 She says being a good person means minding your own business. 142 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:03,436 Well, that's ridiculous 'cause I'm a fantastic person. 143 00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:05,238 Everyone's talking about it. 144 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,941 That's the hot goss on me! 145 00:06:07,943 --> 00:06:09,276 I feel terrible. 146 00:06:09,278 --> 00:06:11,011 I want to make it up to you guys. 147 00:06:11,013 --> 00:06:12,646 Maybe we can get a second chance 148 00:06:12,648 --> 00:06:15,215 when she comes over for the "Survivor" finale. 149 00:06:15,217 --> 00:06:18,618 I don't think Hannah wants to watch the finale with you guys. 150 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:21,021 So... I'm just gonna skip this year. 151 00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:22,689 - What?! - Skip it? 152 00:06:22,691 --> 00:06:25,358 Watching the "Survivor" finale has been a family tradition 153 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,660 for over 20 years! 154 00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:27,994 Davy proposed to Rebecca 155 00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:30,830 during the finale of the Micronesia season! 156 00:06:30,832 --> 00:06:32,933 Okay, we'll come, but only if you promise 157 00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:35,535 to give up gossip for the night. 158 00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:37,837 What are you, cuckoo bananas? 159 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:38,805 You know what? 160 00:06:38,807 --> 00:06:40,307 I have several corgis 161 00:06:40,309 --> 00:06:41,608 who need their anal glands expressed, 162 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,310 and that actually sounds preferable 163 00:06:43,312 --> 00:06:45,745 to having this conversation. 164 00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:53,430 Hey, not to be this guy, 165 00:06:53,432 --> 00:06:55,527 but if the parents from Asher's school 166 00:06:55,528 --> 00:06:57,528 are gonna continue to drop off food, 167 00:06:57,530 --> 00:06:59,229 I think they should step their game up. 168 00:06:59,231 --> 00:07:00,864 I mean, a casserole? 169 00:07:00,866 --> 00:07:03,167 What am I, a widower? 170 00:07:03,169 --> 00:07:04,380 Not to be this girl, 171 00:07:04,381 --> 00:07:06,714 but what is it with this class and the food? 172 00:07:06,716 --> 00:07:09,417 I'm a good room mom and all, but I'm not that good. 173 00:07:09,419 --> 00:07:10,985 You want to hear which room mom 174 00:07:10,987 --> 00:07:13,454 chews tobacco during the PTA meetings? 175 00:07:13,456 --> 00:07:15,657 - I don't want to know. - What? 176 00:07:15,659 --> 00:07:17,825 Sorry, I just don't want to gossip. 177 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:19,794 Are you okay? 178 00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:21,829 Yeah. But Joanna's right. 179 00:07:21,831 --> 00:07:23,898 We do gossip too much. 180 00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,400 We don't gossip, Rebecca. 181 00:07:25,402 --> 00:07:27,001 We share information. 182 00:07:27,003 --> 00:07:28,736 And information is knowledge. 183 00:07:28,738 --> 00:07:30,438 And knowledge is power. 184 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,473 And power is how you protect your family. 185 00:07:32,475 --> 00:07:34,208 And family is forever. 186 00:07:35,478 --> 00:07:37,845 So, you're gossiping to be a better father? 187 00:07:37,847 --> 00:07:39,847 Yes, exactly, to be a better father, 188 00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:42,817 and the rush is so real. 189 00:07:42,819 --> 00:07:46,621 I know, but I see things differently now. 190 00:07:46,623 --> 00:07:49,023 And I never gossiped before I met you. 191 00:07:49,025 --> 00:07:51,426 And the truth is, the gossip has been way worse 192 00:07:51,428 --> 00:07:52,860 since your parents moved in. 193 00:07:52,862 --> 00:07:54,195 Well, yeah, everything has been way worse 194 00:07:54,197 --> 00:07:56,164 since my parents moved in. 195 00:07:56,166 --> 00:07:58,866 The gossip is just the silver lining. 196 00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:00,034 I quit goss. 197 00:08:00,036 --> 00:08:01,602 But you love goss. 198 00:08:01,604 --> 00:08:03,037 But I don't want to do it anymore. 199 00:08:03,039 --> 00:08:04,672 - But you do. - But I don't! 200 00:08:04,674 --> 00:08:06,774 - But goss. - But I know. 201 00:08:08,144 --> 00:08:09,877 Rebecca, last night, 202 00:08:09,879 --> 00:08:13,147 my mom told me that Mr. Waldman, my 9th-grade teacher, 203 00:08:13,149 --> 00:08:18,619 was dating Emily Guarascio, a-from-a my grade-a! 204 00:08:18,621 --> 00:08:21,522 Now, she may be 40, and it's not that gross, 205 00:08:21,524 --> 00:08:23,558 but he was still her teacher, so it's kind of gross. 206 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:26,627 And this is the stuff I live for! 207 00:08:26,629 --> 00:08:29,163 Dave, we made Hannah so uncomfortable, 208 00:08:29,165 --> 00:08:32,567 it's forcing Joanna to choose between her girlfriend and us. 209 00:08:32,569 --> 00:08:34,836 Is it worth it? 210 00:08:34,838 --> 00:08:36,103 Fine! 211 00:08:38,208 --> 00:08:40,561 But now you'll never know where the girl from my grade 212 00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:44,263 and my former teacher went on vacation! 213 00:08:44,265 --> 00:08:47,333 It was Cancún on a private airplane on a teacher's salary! 214 00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,669 - We got to talk about this! - No! 215 00:08:52,207 --> 00:08:54,507 Hey, Dave, I had an amazing idea for the new flip. 216 00:08:54,509 --> 00:08:56,409 Every sink has three faucets... 217 00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:59,278 hot water, cold water, seltzer! 218 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:00,947 I do love bubbles in my drinking water, 219 00:09:00,949 --> 00:09:03,015 but Kevin the plumber just texted me 220 00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:05,084 - and said that he took another job, so... - Oh. 221 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:07,954 Plus that idea's cuckoo bananas. 222 00:09:07,956 --> 00:09:11,591 I called Joanna to try to get our "Survivor" night back on. 223 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,025 She said she'll only come 224 00:09:13,027 --> 00:09:14,460 if I go with her to Hannah's studio 225 00:09:14,462 --> 00:09:17,029 for a peaceful hour of silent meditation. 226 00:09:17,031 --> 00:09:18,297 Sorry, babe, that sounds so boring. 227 00:09:18,299 --> 00:09:20,933 Maybe you could listen to a podcast during it. 228 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:24,437 Daddy, can I have all your cans when you're done? 229 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:26,272 Yeah, of course, big guy. 230 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,574 And I'm so proud of the way that you're cleaning up the planet. 231 00:09:28,576 --> 00:09:32,211 I'm collecting cans because kids at school say we're poor. 232 00:09:34,249 --> 00:09:35,481 What was that, now? 233 00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,049 They said Grammy and Pop moved in 234 00:09:37,051 --> 00:09:39,485 because we're poor and they're saving us. 235 00:09:41,156 --> 00:09:43,489 So, this is why people are bringing us food? 236 00:09:43,491 --> 00:09:45,324 We're the recipients of a meal train? 237 00:09:45,326 --> 00:09:48,995 Yeah, a very well-intentioned but underwhelming meal train. 238 00:09:48,997 --> 00:09:50,630 That doesn't make sense. We're generally regarded 239 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,632 - as cool, good, excellent people. - I know! 240 00:09:52,634 --> 00:09:55,601 Dude! That's why the crew quit on us. 241 00:09:55,603 --> 00:09:57,236 The goss spread to them. 242 00:09:57,238 --> 00:09:58,437 They think you can't afford to pay. 243 00:09:58,439 --> 00:09:59,572 Oh, my God, this is terrible. 244 00:09:59,574 --> 00:10:02,642 Don't worry. I'll sort it out. 245 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,644 - Here's my can. Good luck, little guy. - Oh, thanks. 246 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,612 Asher. 247 00:10:06,614 --> 00:10:10,136 Hey, sweetheart, we are fine financially. 248 00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:11,503 You have nothing to worry about. 249 00:10:11,505 --> 00:10:13,972 What you heard at school is called gossip. 250 00:10:13,974 --> 00:10:16,341 Some call it "hot goss." 251 00:10:16,343 --> 00:10:20,178 That's right, but gossip is bad, especially if it's about us. 252 00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:22,481 This feels awful. Call everyone. Stop the goss! 253 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:25,183 So, kids at school are just talking about us? 254 00:10:25,185 --> 00:10:27,953 I can't believe Mrs. Bowman would let that go on. 255 00:10:27,955 --> 00:10:30,856 Give her a break. Her husband, Mr. Bowman, cheated on her. 256 00:10:30,858 --> 00:10:32,090 He did?! 257 00:10:33,494 --> 00:10:35,427 You didn't hear it from me. 258 00:10:36,530 --> 00:10:40,866 Daddy, why does this information feel so good? 259 00:10:40,868 --> 00:10:43,368 - No! No! - See what you did? You see what you did? 260 00:10:47,266 --> 00:10:51,330 So, I saw Joanna at Hannah's meditation class. 261 00:10:51,331 --> 00:10:53,799 She's back in for "Survivor" tonight. 262 00:10:53,801 --> 00:10:55,233 But I promised her we wouldn't gossip, 263 00:10:55,235 --> 00:10:57,903 just have egg rolls and read our fortunes. 264 00:10:57,905 --> 00:11:01,673 I'll tell you a fortune. This night is gonna suck. 265 00:11:01,675 --> 00:11:03,909 Mom, we have to try. 266 00:11:03,911 --> 00:11:05,877 I mean, gossip is hurting our relationship with Joanna. 267 00:11:05,879 --> 00:11:07,145 It hurt my business. 268 00:11:07,147 --> 00:11:08,980 It's hurt our social standing at school. 269 00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:11,183 Rebecca's right. Gossip is toxic. 270 00:11:11,185 --> 00:11:13,752 Yeah, it's terrible. 271 00:11:13,754 --> 00:11:18,190 No matter how plump and juicy it is, it's wrong to share. 272 00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,761 Uh-huh. 273 00:11:22,763 --> 00:11:23,995 I feel bad about gossiping 274 00:11:23,997 --> 00:11:25,630 about the teacher's ex, Mr. Bowman. 275 00:11:25,632 --> 00:11:26,798 I mean, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding, 276 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,100 like what happened with us. 277 00:11:28,102 --> 00:11:30,769 Yeah, he's probably a very good person 278 00:11:30,771 --> 00:11:32,437 doing good-person things right now. 279 00:11:32,439 --> 00:11:34,539 - I'll go change. - I'll go with you. 280 00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:36,541 - You'll help me change? - Yeah. 281 00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:42,314 You have hot goss, don't you? 282 00:11:42,316 --> 00:11:43,815 How do you do that? 283 00:11:43,817 --> 00:11:46,184 You can tell me, Rebecca. 284 00:11:46,186 --> 00:11:47,452 I shouldn't say. 285 00:11:47,454 --> 00:11:49,588 Well, sure, sure, you can't say, 286 00:11:49,590 --> 00:11:51,690 but I can guess, right? 287 00:11:51,692 --> 00:11:53,625 - You heard something? - Mnh. 288 00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:57,362 - You saw something? - Mm! 289 00:11:57,364 --> 00:12:00,198 - You saw someone! - Mmmm! No! 290 00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,434 We have to stop! This is wrong! 291 00:12:02,436 --> 00:12:04,336 No, it's not! 292 00:12:04,338 --> 00:12:06,571 Gossip is basically history. 293 00:12:06,573 --> 00:12:08,206 And if we don't learn from history, 294 00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:09,941 we're doomed to repeat it. 295 00:12:09,943 --> 00:12:12,010 Gossip prevents wars! 296 00:12:12,012 --> 00:12:13,111 Now, spill it! 297 00:12:13,113 --> 00:12:15,514 Okay! 298 00:12:15,516 --> 00:12:17,482 The teacher's ex-husband, Mr. Bowman, 299 00:12:17,484 --> 00:12:19,151 who was with the hot blonde, 300 00:12:19,153 --> 00:12:22,287 was with a hot brunette outside the Chinese restaurant 301 00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:24,890 next to the meditation studio. 302 00:12:24,892 --> 00:12:26,858 And they were making out. 303 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:31,329 Oh, Jesus! This Bowman is a gold mine! 304 00:12:39,273 --> 00:12:41,907 Oh, I have a funny story. 305 00:12:41,909 --> 00:12:44,009 Oh, wait. It's goss. I have nothing. 306 00:12:48,048 --> 00:12:50,048 Hey, who do you think invented the spork? 307 00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,249 I'm sorry. 308 00:12:53,187 --> 00:12:55,954 As a child in the city, 309 00:12:55,956 --> 00:12:58,757 I went to the grocery store with my father. 310 00:12:58,759 --> 00:13:02,227 I was so small that the only way I could keep track of him 311 00:13:02,229 --> 00:13:05,697 in the crowded store was to look for his black shoes. 312 00:13:05,699 --> 00:13:07,566 I followed them out of the store 313 00:13:07,568 --> 00:13:09,834 and then followed those shoes for 40 blocks 314 00:13:09,836 --> 00:13:12,470 before I realized they belonged to a different man. 315 00:13:12,472 --> 00:13:16,775 For weeks, I lived on the street, busking, 316 00:13:16,777 --> 00:13:18,777 riding the rails. 317 00:13:18,779 --> 00:13:23,348 The benches were my beds, the trees my teachers. 318 00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:25,650 And one day, a beautiful nun 319 00:13:25,652 --> 00:13:28,987 saw me soft-shoeing to earn my lunch 320 00:13:28,989 --> 00:13:33,658 and said, "Little boy, let's get you home," 321 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:36,127 and she did. 322 00:13:36,129 --> 00:13:38,863 I had been missing for 45 days. 323 00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:40,465 Pass the wontons. 324 00:13:42,502 --> 00:13:45,704 What?! I've never heard that story before! 325 00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:50,275 See? Silence can really bring so much to the surface 326 00:13:50,277 --> 00:13:51,977 if you aren't afraid of it. 327 00:13:51,979 --> 00:13:54,446 Hey, guys. 328 00:13:54,448 --> 00:13:56,544 Dave, I cleared things up with the crew. 329 00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:57,582 Oh, cool. 330 00:13:57,584 --> 00:14:00,385 I mean, this probably could have been a text, but cool. 331 00:14:00,387 --> 00:14:02,887 I couldn't because I come bearing hot goss 332 00:14:02,889 --> 00:14:04,456 that must be told in person. 333 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,258 Oh, no, Rav, I'm sorry. 334 00:14:06,260 --> 00:14:08,093 We're not gossiping in this house anymore. 335 00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:10,262 Then what do you guys talk about? 336 00:14:10,264 --> 00:14:13,431 How our dad was real-life Fievel. 337 00:14:13,433 --> 00:14:17,002 Okay, well, you might want to break whatever dumb rule that is 338 00:14:17,004 --> 00:14:20,705 because this goss is scorching-hot! 339 00:14:20,707 --> 00:14:24,075 Ravi, stop with your filthy-mouth gossip! 340 00:14:24,077 --> 00:14:26,244 Get out of here! We don't want to hear it! 341 00:14:29,249 --> 00:14:31,283 I might have overreacted. 342 00:14:31,285 --> 00:14:33,351 I'll go talk to him. 343 00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,660 Hey, Deb. I'm sorry if I offended you. 344 00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:43,128 - I just... - Spill it, punk! 345 00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:46,064 Oh, thank God! I talked to the crew. 346 00:14:46,066 --> 00:14:48,667 The other job they took was working on a compound. 347 00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:52,070 Compound goss? 348 00:14:52,072 --> 00:14:53,638 - And the guy at the center of it... - Yeah? 349 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:55,807 ...this dude named Bowman. 350 00:14:55,809 --> 00:14:56,975 Bowman? 351 00:14:56,977 --> 00:15:00,612 As in Bowman Bowman? 352 00:15:00,614 --> 00:15:02,580 Connected goss! 353 00:15:02,582 --> 00:15:05,683 Oh, my God! 354 00:15:06,420 --> 00:15:09,321 Mm. So, Hannah, tell us about your family. 355 00:15:09,323 --> 00:15:11,456 Wait, uh, can I do that? 356 00:15:11,458 --> 00:15:13,391 It's an okay question, 357 00:15:13,393 --> 00:15:15,794 but I don't speak to my family anymore. 358 00:15:15,796 --> 00:15:17,462 They wouldn't give me space, 359 00:15:17,464 --> 00:15:19,798 and without space, you can't have stars. 360 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,467 And without stars, you have nothing. 361 00:15:23,537 --> 00:15:26,171 Stewie, how about you come out to the garage 362 00:15:26,173 --> 00:15:28,073 and help me with the wine? 363 00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:29,474 It's boiling-hot. 364 00:15:30,510 --> 00:15:31,776 Hot wine? 365 00:15:31,778 --> 00:15:33,611 Uh, yeah, you know, mulled, whatever. 366 00:15:33,613 --> 00:15:34,779 Come on, Stewie! 367 00:15:36,416 --> 00:15:38,249 I'll come, too! 368 00:15:41,355 --> 00:15:44,522 So, Bowman is building a 36,000-square-foot compound? 369 00:15:44,524 --> 00:15:47,225 You think the blonde and the brunette are gonna live together? 370 00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:50,362 Are they gonna share a wing, or are there tunnels? 371 00:15:50,364 --> 00:15:53,064 Where does Bowman get his money from? 372 00:15:53,066 --> 00:15:55,066 We need more facts to get to the truth! 373 00:15:55,068 --> 00:15:56,401 Mm, I wonder if he's been stealing 374 00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:58,370 people's Social Security checks. 375 00:15:58,372 --> 00:16:01,339 Let's float that until we hear something else. 376 00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:04,776 God! It feels so good! 377 00:16:04,778 --> 00:16:07,145 What is wrong with me? Am I addicted to goss? 378 00:16:07,147 --> 00:16:08,780 Rebecca, enough! 379 00:16:08,782 --> 00:16:12,250 You know, when we first met you, you were a wallflower. 380 00:16:12,252 --> 00:16:15,186 I thought to myself, "This is who my beauty 381 00:16:15,188 --> 00:16:16,988 is choosing for his bride?!" 382 00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,557 Um, ouch! 383 00:16:19,559 --> 00:16:21,326 But look at you now. 384 00:16:21,328 --> 00:16:23,862 You're confident. You're even more gorgeous. 385 00:16:23,864 --> 00:16:26,765 You're a fabulous mother. You have two perfect children. 386 00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:30,935 We watered you with goss, and you blossomed! 387 00:16:30,937 --> 00:16:32,704 Okay. Okay. 388 00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:34,873 So, you're saying everything good about me 389 00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,875 is because you taught me to gossip? 390 00:16:36,877 --> 00:16:38,676 Yes! 391 00:16:38,678 --> 00:16:40,478 Tell me everything! 392 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:41,946 Alright, come on. Back to Bowman. 393 00:16:41,948 --> 00:16:44,449 Put your checks underneath your... 394 00:16:44,451 --> 00:16:47,452 Rebecca! 395 00:16:47,454 --> 00:16:48,953 You're gossing? 396 00:16:48,955 --> 00:16:51,689 I thought you were a rabid anti-gosser. 397 00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:53,858 We just got burned by hot goss about us. 398 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:57,495 I can't believe you're gossing when we were just gossed upon. 399 00:16:57,497 --> 00:16:59,798 I know. I know. 400 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:01,733 But this new goss... 401 00:17:01,735 --> 00:17:05,570 It's got tiers and dovetails and people we know, 402 00:17:05,572 --> 00:17:08,373 and I am powerless against it! 403 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:11,242 It is so damn hot. 404 00:17:11,244 --> 00:17:14,312 The hottest goss my ears have had the pleasure 405 00:17:14,314 --> 00:17:16,481 of listening to. 406 00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:18,283 It's compound goss. 407 00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:19,617 Give me every detail. 408 00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:25,605 Okay, Bowman is building a compound 409 00:17:25,606 --> 00:17:28,378 and he's stealing Social Security checks? 410 00:17:28,379 --> 00:17:29,879 We need the address! 411 00:17:29,881 --> 00:17:31,380 Daddy, drive! 412 00:17:31,382 --> 00:17:33,749 I'm drunk on goss! 413 00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:39,497 You guys have a real problem! 414 00:17:39,498 --> 00:17:41,498 Do you know how long you've been in here? 415 00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,833 Five minutes? 416 00:17:42,835 --> 00:17:45,569 An hour and a half! 417 00:17:45,571 --> 00:17:47,504 You missed the entire tribal council. 418 00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:49,272 Don't tell me who won. 419 00:17:49,274 --> 00:17:50,841 It was Boston Rob. 420 00:17:50,843 --> 00:17:52,442 The tribe has spoken! 421 00:17:52,444 --> 00:17:55,478 - Ohh! - No, no! 422 00:17:56,782 --> 00:17:59,983 We're sorry, Joanna. We just got carried away. 423 00:17:59,985 --> 00:18:02,319 It won't happen again. Give us a second chance. 424 00:18:02,321 --> 00:18:04,454 My family pleaded for a second chance, too, 425 00:18:04,456 --> 00:18:05,655 but cutting them out of my life 426 00:18:05,657 --> 00:18:07,824 was the best decision I ever made. 427 00:18:07,826 --> 00:18:09,459 I recommend the same thing for Jo. 428 00:18:09,461 --> 00:18:11,428 - Well, hold on. - That seems rash. 429 00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:12,796 It's just goss. 430 00:18:12,798 --> 00:18:14,364 Yes, goss is good. 431 00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:15,665 - Mom. - You know what? 432 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,368 As ridiculous as my family has been, 433 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:20,670 I'm always gonna give them a second chance. 434 00:18:20,672 --> 00:18:22,973 I feel like you're trying to distance me from them, 435 00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:25,308 but I love them, and I think they can grow. 436 00:18:26,311 --> 00:18:28,378 Bup! 437 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,880 Ravi finally texted me back. 438 00:18:29,882 --> 00:18:31,882 He said people are moving into Bowman's compound, 439 00:18:31,884 --> 00:18:34,684 and they're all wearing different shades of dusty pink. 440 00:18:34,686 --> 00:18:35,952 He thinks it's some kind of a cult! 441 00:18:35,954 --> 00:18:37,521 Wow! 442 00:18:37,523 --> 00:18:40,524 Oh, my God, I'm trying to defend you guys! 443 00:18:40,526 --> 00:18:43,493 Can't you stop gossiping for one minute? 444 00:18:46,798 --> 00:18:48,665 Wait. 445 00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,868 Isn't Bowman the name of the guy who owns Serenity? 446 00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:53,737 Your meditation studio? 447 00:18:53,739 --> 00:18:55,071 Joanna, we should leave now. 448 00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:57,407 Um, Hannah, would you call 449 00:18:57,409 --> 00:19:00,410 that shade of pink you're wearing dusty? 450 00:19:00,412 --> 00:19:04,881 Okay, I am not in a cult, if that's what you're implying. 451 00:19:04,883 --> 00:19:08,018 Serenity is just a large family of like-minded individuals 452 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,986 who all have sex with the same man. 453 00:19:11,490 --> 00:19:14,758 Oh, okay. That sounds cool. 454 00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,893 Oh, my God! 455 00:19:16,895 --> 00:19:18,595 Were you trying to recruit me 456 00:19:18,597 --> 00:19:22,399 into a heterosexual sex cult? 457 00:19:22,401 --> 00:19:24,768 Joanna, please, just take a pranayama breath. 458 00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:27,404 I don't need to take a pranayama anything. 459 00:19:27,406 --> 00:19:30,740 I just need you to leave right now. 460 00:19:30,742 --> 00:19:32,742 Okay. 461 00:19:32,744 --> 00:19:34,911 But just so you all know, when the meteor comes 462 00:19:34,913 --> 00:19:37,581 and we Bowmenians are living in the center of the Earth, 463 00:19:37,583 --> 00:19:39,849 you'll all be sorry! 464 00:19:39,851 --> 00:19:41,551 Bow, Bow, Bow! 465 00:19:46,925 --> 00:19:48,525 - Wow! - Wow! 466 00:19:48,527 --> 00:19:52,062 - Yikes! - Oh, my God! 467 00:19:52,064 --> 00:19:54,064 I thought she was the one, but she was just, like, 468 00:19:54,066 --> 00:19:57,801 100% in a cult. 469 00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:00,804 I wouldn't even have known if you guys hadn't gossiped. 470 00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:05,809 So, in a crazy way, it's like hot goss saved my life. 471 00:20:05,811 --> 00:20:07,577 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 472 00:20:07,579 --> 00:20:10,914 It felt really bad to be gossed about, remember? 473 00:20:10,916 --> 00:20:12,649 Yeah, but if we didn't have that goss, 474 00:20:12,651 --> 00:20:14,417 we couldn't have connected this goss. 475 00:20:14,419 --> 00:20:15,652 Yeah, David. 476 00:20:15,654 --> 00:20:17,821 All goss happens for a reason. 477 00:20:17,823 --> 00:20:20,490 Goss is good. Goss is great. 478 00:20:20,492 --> 00:20:22,993 And now we're all inside the goss. 479 00:20:22,995 --> 00:20:24,928 It's like being in a womb. 480 00:20:24,930 --> 00:20:27,831 Oh, speaking of being in a womb, 481 00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,833 guess whose grandson knocked up his girlfriend 482 00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:31,501 before going off to community college. 483 00:20:31,503 --> 00:20:33,436 - Shut up. - Mort Sherman! 484 00:20:33,438 --> 00:20:35,005 - Mort Sherman! - Yeah! 485 00:20:35,007 --> 00:20:39,509 ♪ Mort Sherman, Mort Sherman, Mort Sherman ♪ 486 00:20:40,545 --> 00:20:43,146 Oh, man, it's another parent from the meal train. 487 00:20:43,148 --> 00:20:44,681 Okay, we got to clear this up. 488 00:20:44,683 --> 00:20:46,116 I'll take care of it. 489 00:20:46,118 --> 00:20:47,684 Hey. 490 00:20:47,686 --> 00:20:49,586 My husband and I were thinking of you 491 00:20:49,588 --> 00:20:51,187 and thought we'd drop these off. 492 00:20:51,189 --> 00:20:52,922 That's very sweet, but we don't need your char... 493 00:20:52,924 --> 00:20:55,125 Do I smell brownies? 494 00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:57,027 Yes, I own a bakery in town. 495 00:20:57,029 --> 00:21:00,163 Thank you for supporting us during this difficult time. 496 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,868 She can't get to a PTA meeting without two martinis, 497 00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:06,202 but she can bake! 498 00:21:06,204 --> 00:21:08,671 Mmm. Hold on. 499 00:21:09,141 --> 00:21:11,908 I'm sorry, but your kids are playing in the street. 500 00:21:11,910 --> 00:21:13,977 - Asher! - What?! 501 00:21:14,771 --> 00:21:17,460 Subtitle sync and corrections by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com. 36980

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