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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 3 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,712 Hey, take it easy will ya! 4 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,380 Hey, who's the big birthday girl, huh? 5 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,465 - Me! - Oh boy, hey how old are you? 6 00:00:49,675 --> 00:00:50,758 I'm this! 7 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,927 Well call me when you're this, okay. 8 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,303 All right here we go now. 9 00:00:54,513 --> 00:00:56,180 You got it straight, okay? Hold it there. 10 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,100 Hey, beautiful, beautiful! Okay! 12 00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:11,487 Hey, what happened here? What's the matter, huh? 13 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:14,282 Johnny hit me. He don't like me anymore. 14 00:01:14,491 --> 00:01:17,577 Oh, I know what you're goin' through, ya know. 15 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,079 You gave him the best three months of your life, huh? 16 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,457 Then he left you for a pail and shovel. 17 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,418 What do you see in him, anyway? What are you in love with? 18 00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:30,673 He's not in your class. He's afraid of the dark. He wets his pants. 19 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:34,927 When he eats, he gets food all over his face. He's a mama's boy. 20 00:01:35,137 --> 00:01:36,929 What are you, in nursery school now? 21 00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:39,348 I guarantee you, by the time you get to kindergarten, 22 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:41,934 you'll forget all about him, okay? 23 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:45,730 Hey, look who's here! Show time! Bobby Bunny, huh? 25 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,986 Here we go, kids, let's go here. Bobby Bunny's here... 26 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:55,031 - What's that? - Oh, nothing, nothing. 27 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,950 Bobby Bunny just dropped a few carrots, that's all. 30 00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,965 You don't have to talk all night 31 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,968 I'm a man who can't say no 32 00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:19,472 You don't have to twist my arm 33 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,974 Just point me where you wanna go 34 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:25,478 Take me to the action Take me to the track 35 00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,980 Take me to a party if they're bettin' in the back 36 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:32,026 I've been workin' all my life can't afford to wait 37 00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:35,029 Let me call my wife so I can tell her I'll be late 38 00:02:35,239 --> 00:02:38,032 I want the easy mmm 39 00:02:38,242 --> 00:02:41,035 Easy, easy money 40 00:02:41,245 --> 00:02:44,038 I could get lucky 41 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:47,583 Oh, things could go right 42 00:02:48,127 --> 00:02:51,003 I want the easy 43 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:54,006 Easy, easy money 44 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,510 Maybe this one time 45 00:02:57,719 --> 00:03:00,596 Maybe tonight 46 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:08,521 You don't have to try too hard 47 00:03:09,648 --> 00:03:12,567 I don't need a song and dance 48 00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:16,070 I don't need an invitation 49 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:18,072 If you've got a game of chance 50 00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:21,576 Take me to the tables Take me to the fights 51 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:24,912 Run me like a numbers Roll me like a dice 52 00:03:25,164 --> 00:03:28,082 When you're countin' on a killin' always count me in 53 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:31,043 Talk me into losing just as long as I can win 54 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:34,046 I want the easy 55 00:03:34,256 --> 00:03:37,133 Easy, easy money 56 00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,052 I want the good times 57 00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:44,056 Oh, I never had 58 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,559 I want the easy 59 00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,061 Mmm, easy money 60 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:53,608 Oh, I want the good life 61 00:03:53,817 --> 00:03:56,611 Mmm, I want it bad 62 00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:59,113 Easy money 63 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,115 You say I fool myself 64 00:04:01,325 --> 00:04:04,118 But better me than being a fool for someone else 65 00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:09,624 I got a hot slot machine of a system ready to go 66 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:12,585 Easy money 67 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:17,590 I got a one-track mind and a good reputation layin' on the line 68 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:20,092 I'll either come back a bum or a king 69 00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,804 Baby, I don't know 71 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,944 Well, let's go over today's schedule. 72 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:23,197 It is exactly 6:33. 73 00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:26,242 It is exactly 6:34. 74 00:05:26,785 --> 00:05:28,327 At 7:00, we're meeting with the 75 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:31,205 head of the furniture department regarding inventory. 76 00:05:31,415 --> 00:05:34,375 Postpone the meeting. Double-check the inventory, 77 00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,585 and fire the cleaning staff. 78 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:39,088 7:20, you will crush the hopes of the loading dock workers 79 00:05:39,298 --> 00:05:41,173 regarding better working conditions. 80 00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,175 Cancel the meeting, and send out a memorandum 81 00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,678 that the working conditions at the loading dock 82 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,764 will remain as they have for the past 35 years. 83 00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,099 Mm-hmm. 84 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,184 At 7:30, we'll be meeting with the accountants 85 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,104 regarding donations and charitable contributions. 86 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:58,399 Cancel that meeting, and cancel my check to Boy's Town. 87 00:05:59,443 --> 00:06:01,235 What time is Scrappleton coming? 88 00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:05,114 Uh, 7:50, with the legal papers you requested. 89 00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:09,243 As soon as you finish with Scrappleton, we leave for New Dorp, Staten Island 90 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,996 to attend your granddaughter Allison's wedding. 91 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:15,249 Well, I hope she's made a better choice 92 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,293 than her mother did! 93 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,129 Jesus! Rose! 94 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,716 How did you talk me into this? 95 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,845 You should use Allison. She's the one who has to wear it. 96 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:31,349 It's unlucky for the bride to wear her gown before the wedding day. 97 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,434 How unlucky can she get, look who she's marrying. 98 00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:35,353 Come on dear, you shouldn't talk like that. 99 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,855 Julio's a good boy. Come on, Rose, will ya? 100 00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,941 See the guy for what he is. He belongs to a gang. 101 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:43,861 It's a good boy's gang. They help people. 102 00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:47,907 - Ooh, take it easy, will ya? - Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd I get you? 103 00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:50,534 If I show you where you got me we'll never get outta here. 104 00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,495 All right, hold still. I've gotta finish this. 105 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:55,623 You gotta pick up the cake, and mother will be here soon. 106 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,376 Your mother. 107 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,254 I gotta go to the john. Monty! Oh, the dress! 108 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:05,883 - No, you're wonderful. - Allison, I need the phone. 109 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,719 - I'm in here! - Come on, get outta there! 110 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,889 - Get off, will ya? - I am so hung up on you. 111 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,892 Good idea. I'll see you in church. 112 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:15,851 Daddy! 113 00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,895 Don't worry, you won't lose him, all right. 114 00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,730 Belinda, let's go. 115 00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,401 Someday I'll be out of your life. 116 00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,986 Yeah, right now get outta the bathroom, all right. 117 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:43,963 The best thing about having daughters. 118 00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,647 Nicky boy, it's Monty. 119 00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:05,109 Close the door. 120 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:08,654 Yeah? 121 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:10,865 Nicky, Rose's mother, she's on her way over. 122 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,868 So? What do you want from me? 123 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,203 I need the truck. I gotta pick up the wedding cake. 124 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,997 What am I supposed to be, Allied Vans? 125 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,999 You really know how to push a friendship, you know? 126 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,084 When's the last time you did something for me? 127 00:08:22,294 --> 00:08:23,961 Hey Monty you got a short memory, you know? 128 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:25,504 Who drove all the way down to Atlantic City 129 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:27,339 to bail you out when you owed $400? 130 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:29,467 At Belmont, you had four losers in a row. 131 00:08:29,676 --> 00:08:30,843 Who gave you the winner in the fifth? 132 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,970 The cake's for your godchild, you ungrateful bastard you! 133 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,056 All right, all right. Give me a chance. I'm comin'. 134 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,988 - Where's my stuff? - By the front door. What's the rush? 135 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,282 I gotta go to work. I got a wedding to pay for. 136 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,034 Don't forget the cake. 137 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,995 How many years you know me? Did I ever forget anything? 139 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,624 Nicky, just in time. Beautiful! 140 00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,419 I don't wanna see her fucking... mother! 141 00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,717 - Was it Nicky? - No, no. It's not Nicky. No. 142 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,846 - Oh, it's mother! - Leave him, dear. 143 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,140 Just simply walk out on him. 144 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:21,727 His entire body is bloodshot. He'll never change. 145 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,146 Nice to see you too. 146 00:09:24,356 --> 00:09:26,607 It's gonna be so much fun having everyone here. 147 00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,692 Yeah, a lot of fun, a lot of fun. 148 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,861 Well, if it isn't my favorite relative. 149 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,072 Oh, don't start that bullshit, all right. 150 00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:35,866 Monty, please bring mother's luggage upstairs. 151 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:40,746 - Well what's Clive, a footstool? - No, no, Monty, let me get this. 152 00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:47,169 - How can you stand him? - You've gotta get to know him. 153 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,630 The wedding is gonna be wonderful. 154 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,966 We never get to see you. 155 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:54,593 The store takes up all my time. 156 00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,806 Mother, why do you push yourself so hard? 157 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,558 The money doesn't matter. 158 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:04,687 When your father was alive, he ran Monahan's like a tyrant. 159 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,689 He paid the help next to nothing. 160 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:09,733 - He drove them like sled dogs. - Wonderful man. 161 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:14,113 Wonderful! Now that he's gone, I carry on his work. 162 00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:15,739 Rose, 163 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:20,744 I don't know how you can live with that man. 164 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,247 We're happy just the way we are. 165 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:27,293 Happy? Yeah, we were until a few minutes ago. 166 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:30,212 And we don't want a dime from you. You understand? 167 00:10:30,422 --> 00:10:31,755 No offense. 168 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:35,342 No offense? 169 00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,136 No offense? 170 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,722 You are an offense! 171 00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,725 Why, you can barely walk erect. 172 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:46,353 You pollute the air with your smoking. 173 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,731 You reek of liquor and God knows what else. 174 00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,274 You're an ecological menace! 175 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,693 Yeah, well you were the inspiration for twin beds. 176 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,486 And I'll tell you something else... 177 00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,196 Monty, don't start with mother. 178 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:58,198 I'm not startin' nothin'. It never ended. 179 00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:01,785 And to think of who you could have married. Pat Flannigan. 180 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:02,828 Do me a favor, will ya, 181 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:05,289 don't start throwing up the guys she could've married. 182 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,999 He started out as a bricklayer. 183 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,668 Now he owns his own construction company. 184 00:11:09,878 --> 00:11:12,254 And what about Tom O'Rourke? He started as a busboy. 185 00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:14,673 Today he has his own restaurant. 186 00:11:14,883 --> 00:11:18,761 Oh, yeah, I started out as a baby. Today I'm a baby photographer. 187 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:20,137 I'll see you later. 188 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,307 And I'm sure you're gonna talk about me when I'm gone. 189 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:37,988 Where do you live, in Vermont? What took you so long? 190 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,543 Why do you let her mother get to you? 191 00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:53,796 Forget about her, will ya? 192 00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,049 She never wanted Rose to marry me. Never. 193 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,555 She says I drink too much, I smoke too much, I gamble. 194 00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:05,641 She's right, but what am I gonna do? 195 00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,059 I can't control myself. 196 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:10,354 I got no, uh, what's the word I'm looking for, I got no... 197 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,480 Class. 198 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,108 Nah, we know I got class, no. 199 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:15,901 It's a certain word I'm looking' for. 200 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:18,529 What's the word for someone who can't say "no"? 201 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:21,073 - Sonya. - Not Sonya. No, not Sonya. 202 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,158 No, I got no... 203 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,953 Willpower! That's the word I'm lookin' for. 204 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,122 Willpower, I got no willpower. That's what it is. 205 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:29,540 Yeah, willpower. 206 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,084 Make a left on Elm. I got a quick shoot. 207 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,086 What shoot? You didn't say anything about a shoot. 208 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,588 Leave me alone. I got enough problems. Just take a left on Elm. 209 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,091 I got a quick shoot. I'll be quick. You can help me, all right. 210 00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,634 Oh, I can help you. Well, thanks. 211 00:12:40,844 --> 00:12:43,220 You really think I got no class? 212 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,514 No, I don't think you got no class. 213 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:49,518 I'm gonna be sad. Mmmmm. Very good, okay! 214 00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,353 Now, I'm gonna be a monster. Watch this, okay. 216 00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,399 Now the big one. Okay, the big one. 217 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:57,151 Can you be happy? 218 00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,154 That's a good one! Okay, be happy. 219 00:13:00,363 --> 00:13:02,656 Okay, here we are. Smile pretty. 220 00:13:02,866 --> 00:13:04,950 Beautiful! There we go, we got it. 221 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,453 (WEDDING MARCH MUSIC) 222 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,126 The other door. The other door! 223 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,128 - I got it, I got it. - The other door! 224 00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:31,101 - Get outta here. - Oooh! Oh! 225 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,233 The cake, the cake! 226 00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:46,867 - Watch out for the top. - I'm watching, I'm watching. 227 00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:50,370 It's not gonna slide around in there, is it? 228 00:13:50,622 --> 00:13:52,456 No, I got it wedged against a toilet. 229 00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:02,549 This is just great. My favorite system a lock. 230 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,676 And I got Monty in the truck with a wedding cake. 231 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,762 I gotta pick up my mother, take her to the beauty parlor. 232 00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:10,599 - What's the tip? - Big Boy in the fifth. 233 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,685 Forget it! The fifth goes off at 3:00. 234 00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:17,689 - We goin' to the track? - I can't go. I got a bar to run. 235 00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:19,233 This here's a sure thing. 236 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,236 - It's forty to one. - Hey! 237 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,614 - Wake up, we're closing up. - I didn't finish my drink yet. 238 00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:29,243 You're finished now. Get outta here. Here's your dollar. 240 00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:36,625 Come on, come on will ya. We've got five minutes to post. 242 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:45,092 Hey! Get the hell out of there! 243 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:48,011 Slow down, will ya, slow down. They're kids. 244 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,682 Nicky, take care of it. 245 00:14:58,231 --> 00:14:59,690 What're you doing? 247 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,822 Sixty seconds to post time. 249 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,784 Are you gonna place a bet or what? 250 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:15,414 Oh, yes, yes. I'd like the number seven horse please. 251 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,875 Thirty seconds to post time. 252 00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:23,380 I'd like to put two dollars to win, and two dollars to place 253 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:27,384 - and two dollars to show. - Okay, buddy, good luck. 254 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:32,389 The next time you bet, remember, instead of saying 255 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,516 two dollars to win, two dollars to place, 256 00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,895 two dollars to show, just say, two across the board. 257 00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,106 - Gee, you mean instead of saying... - What are you buyin', a house? 258 00:15:41,316 --> 00:15:42,399 Two dollars to place... 259 00:15:42,609 --> 00:15:44,902 Let's go while we're young. 260 00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:46,904 We're gonna get shut out! 261 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:49,364 Yes, I have a friend that wants to bet the 262 00:15:49,574 --> 00:15:50,991 number seven horse. 263 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:55,078 Number six horse. Six horse. 264 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,080 No more bets. 266 00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,335 And they're off! 267 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:09,009 Nicky, come on. We're goin' to the rail. 268 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:12,429 Big Boy making up lots of ground on the outside, 269 00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,723 moving to the fourth spot. 270 00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:17,935 Here comes Big Boy with a rush on the extreme outside. 271 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,312 How's he doin'? How's he doin'? 272 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,231 - Gettin' farther ahead all the time. - Gimme those things. 273 00:16:25,443 --> 00:16:27,235 Five lengths ahead! 274 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,363 Fifty bucks at forty to one! 275 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,616 That's two grand apiece! Two grand apiece! 276 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:38,747 You dragged me out here, you bastards, I love ya, I love ya! 277 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,676 That's two grand apiece! Two G's! 279 00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,807 I'm goin' to Hawaii! I'm goin' to Hawaii! 280 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,935 - He's fallin' back. - I'm not goin' to Hawaii! 281 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:04,648 He's too far ahead to lose. 282 00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,367 Look at him! He thinks he's water skiing! 283 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:20,205 - We were in. What happened? - Yeah, there's our winner. 284 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:23,625 I closed my bar! Get outta here! 285 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,628 I'll kill you. 286 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:29,131 I'll kill you, Bosco! 287 00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,134 I'll kill him. I'll kill you! 288 00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:35,721 There was supposed to be a fix. Crooks! 289 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,099 I was gonna buy a new neon sign. 290 00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:45,522 Yeah, that's it. Step on his face! 291 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,024 That son of a bitch! 293 00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:59,494 Go get him, Nicky! 294 00:17:59,704 --> 00:18:02,581 My bridesmaids' dresses are lime green. 295 00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,084 And my maid of honor is wearing lime green. 296 00:18:06,377 --> 00:18:08,754 The maid of honor's dress should always be in contrast 297 00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:09,796 to the bridesmaids. 298 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:14,176 This is, um, delicious! What do you call it? 299 00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,302 Chicken! 300 00:18:15,511 --> 00:18:17,929 I know it's chicken, dear, but what kind? 301 00:18:18,139 --> 00:18:19,306 There's Kiev, there's Florentine... 302 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,808 Shake & bake! 303 00:18:22,018 --> 00:18:23,810 Mother, I'm glad you could come. 304 00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:26,813 I've always been sorry you missed my wedding. 305 00:18:27,023 --> 00:18:28,607 You know I couldn't go to your wedding. 306 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:29,816 That's cause Daddy was there. 307 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,194 Where is your father tonight, dear? 308 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,528 He's taking baby pictures. 309 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:38,408 Ha! What kind of a baby is it that's still up at 9 at night? 310 00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:52,839 Sweetheart, watch out for this guy. 311 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,842 He'll buy you a bottle of beer, and squeeze the "schlitz" outta ya. 312 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,677 Who is this guy? 313 00:18:57,887 --> 00:19:00,347 He's my friend. Don't worry about him. 314 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:04,351 Excuse me, miss. I don't mean to interrupt while you're working. 315 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,105 I was wondering if you could come over to the house 316 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,358 Sunday for dinner and meet my mother? 317 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:13,860 - Do you wanna go home? - He's kiddin' around. 318 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:17,364 Excuse me, pal. You got a problem here? This is my friend. 319 00:19:17,573 --> 00:19:19,908 - Who are you? - Who am I? 320 00:19:20,118 --> 00:19:21,827 I'm the guy that put the bathrooms in this joint. 321 00:19:22,036 --> 00:19:22,619 That's who I am. 322 00:19:22,829 --> 00:19:25,163 Now I know why the place stinks, okay, pal? 324 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:30,168 Break it up, will ya? What's the matter? 325 00:19:32,713 --> 00:19:34,673 Take it easy, will ya? 326 00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,969 - Ma? - Hmm? 327 00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:41,388 Am I pretty? 328 00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,974 Oh, you're beautiful, sweetheart. 329 00:19:44,517 --> 00:19:46,393 Julio's a very lucky boy. 330 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,896 I wanna make him happy. 331 00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,898 But there's so much I don't know. 332 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:55,402 - Like what? - Like about, you know. 333 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,488 - I know what? - You know! 334 00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,950 Oh, that. 335 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,452 Didn't your father tell you everything you need to know? 336 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:07,956 He keeps starting, but he never finishes. 337 00:20:08,166 --> 00:20:10,625 What do you wanna know? 338 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,005 Foreplay. Have you ever heard of foreplay? 339 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,924 No, not with your father. 340 00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:20,927 It's nice we can have these little talks. 341 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,679 Let's go help Belinda pour the coffee. 342 00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:23,430 Wait, Mom. 343 00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:25,515 How did you know that you really loved Daddy? 344 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:29,519 We were at Coney Island on the ferris wheel. 345 00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:31,938 We got caught at the top. 346 00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,024 Later on, I found out 347 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,944 he paid the man a dollar to stop the ride. 348 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:40,447 Your father said things to me 349 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,534 that were so sweet, so romantic. 350 00:20:45,077 --> 00:20:49,539 I said to myself, "Here's a sensitive man." 351 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:52,209 Just once, a fuckin' four! 352 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:55,212 Four! Got a four! 353 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,214 Gimme the dice, I'm hot. Gimme the dice. 354 00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,217 Hold it, hold it! You won, right? 355 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,719 We're ahead. We can leave winners right now. 356 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:04,221 Okay, so we go. Let's go. 357 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:07,224 Double or nothin'. Come on, here we go. 358 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,310 Oh, Monty! 360 00:21:30,915 --> 00:21:32,791 You did it again, huh? 361 00:21:34,335 --> 00:21:36,836 We were winners. We could've walked away. 362 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,674 That's how I am. Once I get goin', I can't stop. 363 00:21:50,393 --> 00:21:54,354 Come on. Forget about it. It's history. Let's go. 364 00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:03,280 Good stuff. It oughta be. I got it off a cop. 365 00:22:03,489 --> 00:22:07,450 - I'm starvin'. - Let's go to Lucky's. He's open late. 366 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,258 He's closed. 367 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,386 Come on, Pop's inside. He'll let us in. 368 00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,818 Pop's last dish. 369 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:43,778 We're drivin' a half hour. 370 00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:46,197 The closest we came to food, we almost hit a deer. 371 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,991 Hey, there's a place. 372 00:23:00,421 --> 00:23:03,048 I'm so hungry, I could eat the waitress. 373 00:23:18,481 --> 00:23:21,441 No, no! No! It's wrong. Nicky, it's wrong. 374 00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:24,361 - I just wanna see what... - It's wrong! 375 00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,865 It's wedding cake flavor. I love wedding cake. 376 00:23:29,116 --> 00:23:30,784 Why don't you get married? 377 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:35,997 Let me just lick the bride. 378 00:23:37,083 --> 00:23:38,875 That's my daughter! 379 00:23:39,085 --> 00:23:42,921 It's a little plastic thing. It's not your daughter. 380 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,885 Only one little flower each. 381 00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,888 There's a lot of little flowers. Nobody will know the difference. 382 00:23:52,098 --> 00:23:54,391 Forget about it. Let's get outta here. 383 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,976 And don't drive fast. You're drunk. 384 00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,979 Don't worry about it. I drive better when I'm drunk. 386 00:24:05,027 --> 00:24:07,404 You got a weird sense of humor. You know that? 387 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,781 You laugh at everything. Weather reports, car chase. 388 00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:11,449 You laugh at everything. 389 00:24:11,659 --> 00:24:13,952 Keep it straight, will ya? You're swerving all over the place. 390 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:16,830 I'm goin' straight. I'm on the yellow line, I told ya. 391 00:24:17,039 --> 00:24:19,165 Move over to one side. The other side! What are ya doin? 392 00:24:19,375 --> 00:24:21,543 You're on the other side! Get over here! 393 00:24:21,752 --> 00:24:23,670 - Keep to the right! - Get your hands off the wheel! 394 00:24:23,879 --> 00:24:25,338 Nicky look out! 396 00:24:30,177 --> 00:24:32,512 My head! I hit my head! 398 00:24:34,265 --> 00:24:36,141 What's so funny? Everything's funny to you. 399 00:24:36,350 --> 00:24:37,058 You laugh and laugh. 400 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:39,561 Watch the road, will ya? Will you watch the road? 401 00:24:39,770 --> 00:24:44,607 I lost my joint. Where's my joint? 402 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:46,568 Just watch the road, asshole. 404 00:24:49,405 --> 00:24:51,197 Move the car, Nicky, the car! 406 00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,805 You got some aspirin? 408 00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,829 I'm sorry. It was an emergency. 411 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:10,944 - You sure this is a good idea? - Daddy. 412 00:26:11,153 --> 00:26:13,446 Isn't she beautiful? 413 00:26:13,656 --> 00:26:17,033 Yeah, but who's that with her? 414 00:26:19,912 --> 00:26:22,330 What do you see in this guy? 415 00:26:22,540 --> 00:26:25,291 He has everything I ever wanted. 416 00:26:25,501 --> 00:26:27,252 You don't ask for much, do you? 417 00:26:28,128 --> 00:26:30,296 Did your mother tell you everything you need to know? 418 00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:31,965 She taught me how to fry bananas. 419 00:26:32,174 --> 00:26:33,049 Oh, beautiful! 420 00:26:33,259 --> 00:26:36,386 You'll end up working in a Spanish restaurant. 421 00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,355 You're not pregnant, are you? 422 00:26:47,565 --> 00:26:50,066 Daddy! The way you brought me up? 423 00:26:50,276 --> 00:26:51,859 All right. 424 00:27:06,584 --> 00:27:10,044 Welcome, Allison. Welcome, Julio. 426 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:21,306 Julio Vidal O'Campo, will you have Allison 427 00:27:22,725 --> 00:27:26,060 Juliana Capuletti, to be your wife, 428 00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:28,813 to live together in the covenant of marriage? 429 00:27:29,023 --> 00:27:30,648 Shhh! 430 00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:34,277 Will you love her, comfort her, honor her and keep her 431 00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,779 in sickness and in health, 432 00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:39,532 and foresaking all others, be faithful to her 433 00:27:39,742 --> 00:27:41,284 for as long as you both shall live? 434 00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:42,827 I do. 435 00:27:43,370 --> 00:27:47,248 Where's your father? He's directing traffic. 436 00:27:47,458 --> 00:27:51,252 Please, let's go. Get outta here. Come on, towards me. 437 00:27:51,462 --> 00:27:56,758 Back up, back up! Turn the wheel to the right. The wheel! 438 00:27:56,967 --> 00:27:58,676 Where're you goin', what's happening here? 439 00:27:58,886 --> 00:27:59,761 We gotta get outta here. 440 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,348 Hold it, will ya, he ain't goin' nowhere. What's your problem? 442 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,153 Hey! 443 00:28:17,363 --> 00:28:19,155 Whoo! 444 00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:20,615 Hey! 445 00:28:24,328 --> 00:28:25,662 Whoo! 446 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:35,213 Why didn't he fix the walk? It's been this way for months! 447 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,459 Why can't you make everybody happy and shake hands with this kid? 448 00:29:13,669 --> 00:29:15,461 - Not me. - Shake hands with him. 449 00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,547 Go ahead. 450 00:29:20,092 --> 00:29:21,217 Look at him, look at him. 451 00:29:21,427 --> 00:29:23,553 If I look at him, I won't shake hands! 452 00:29:23,846 --> 00:29:26,013 Look at him. Go ahead. 453 00:29:28,350 --> 00:29:30,727 Now look, Julio. We're family now, all right? 454 00:29:30,936 --> 00:29:33,730 Just do the right thing. Make Allison happy. 455 00:29:33,939 --> 00:29:35,690 She's a great girl. 456 00:29:35,899 --> 00:29:39,318 I know, I lived with her for 18 years. 457 00:29:39,862 --> 00:29:42,363 Can I call you dad? 458 00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:48,828 Oh, it's wonderful to see you two get along. 460 00:29:57,087 --> 00:29:59,213 Good-bye, honey! 462 00:30:09,933 --> 00:30:12,351 Hey, what are we doin' here, my glass is empty. 463 00:30:12,561 --> 00:30:14,228 Come on, will ya? 464 00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:34,749 Wow. 465 00:30:35,876 --> 00:30:37,668 This is it. 466 00:30:37,878 --> 00:30:41,005 Yeah, our first motel room. 467 00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:16,290 Okay, let's get the guy up here who paid for this shindig. 469 00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:29,804 Hold it, hold it. Let him talk. 470 00:31:30,347 --> 00:31:33,224 - I got nothin' to say, Nicky. - Then sing a song. I sang. 471 00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:36,310 - I can't sing. Are you kiddin'? - Sing "La Consonetta." 473 00:31:38,856 --> 00:31:41,232 I'm no Sinatra, but here it goes. Okay? 475 00:31:47,865 --> 00:31:51,826 ? Some think the world was made for fun and frolic 476 00:31:52,369 --> 00:31:55,413 ? And so do I and so do I 477 00:31:55,873 --> 00:31:59,834 Some think it's right to be so melancholic 478 00:32:00,377 --> 00:32:03,337 They'll pine and sigh they'll pine and sigh 479 00:32:03,881 --> 00:32:07,884 But I, I like to spend my time a-singing 480 00:32:08,093 --> 00:32:11,470 Some joyous song some joyous song 481 00:32:12,014 --> 00:32:15,892 To set the air with music ever ringing 482 00:32:16,101 --> 00:32:19,896 Is far from wrong is far from wrong 483 00:32:20,105 --> 00:32:23,482 Hark it, hark it music from afar 484 00:32:24,026 --> 00:32:26,611 Hark it, hark it with a happy heart 485 00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:31,449 Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula 486 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,827 Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula 487 00:32:35,037 --> 00:32:38,497 Hark it, hark it music from afar 488 00:32:38,999 --> 00:32:41,792 Hark it, hark it with a happy heart 489 00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:46,923 Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula 490 00:32:47,132 --> 00:32:50,343 Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula 491 00:32:50,552 --> 00:32:53,930 Hark it, hark it music from afar 492 00:32:54,139 --> 00:32:57,350 Hark it, hark it with a happy heart 493 00:32:57,559 --> 00:33:01,938 Funiculi, funicula funiculi, funicula 494 00:33:02,147 --> 00:33:09,028 Joy is everywhere funiculi, funicula 498 00:34:07,129 --> 00:34:08,754 How do I look? 499 00:34:12,134 --> 00:34:13,843 You look beautiful. 500 00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:39,660 I always dreamed about my wedding day. 501 00:34:41,288 --> 00:34:43,622 I guess I never thought about the night. 504 00:35:07,189 --> 00:35:09,023 Be gentle with me. 505 00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:22,620 Julio! 506 00:35:22,829 --> 00:35:25,122 This is foreplay. 507 00:35:25,332 --> 00:35:29,585 - I have a headache. - I don't wanna touch your head. 508 00:35:29,795 --> 00:35:32,588 Please, Julio, I've never been with a man before. 509 00:35:32,798 --> 00:35:34,590 Neither have I! 510 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,258 Julio! 511 00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:44,475 - What's wrong with you? - I don't know what to do. 512 00:35:45,727 --> 00:35:49,105 - I brought a book. - A book? 513 00:35:55,237 --> 00:35:57,113 El Joyo de Sexo. 514 00:35:57,322 --> 00:36:00,157 - It's in Spanish. - I'm gonna translate it for you. 515 00:36:00,367 --> 00:36:03,702 It has a very happy ending. You're gonna love it. 516 00:36:13,213 --> 00:36:15,172 Allison? 517 00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:18,092 What do you want from me, Julio? 518 00:36:18,844 --> 00:36:21,428 I never seen anything like that. 519 00:36:22,848 --> 00:36:25,141 Try to understand. 520 00:36:25,350 --> 00:36:28,144 I keep hearing my father say, Don't. 521 00:36:28,353 --> 00:36:31,188 He meant before you were married. 522 00:36:34,776 --> 00:36:38,737 I'm not so sure. You don't know my father. 523 00:36:42,284 --> 00:36:44,243 Allison, 524 00:36:46,288 --> 00:36:47,997 listen to me. 525 00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:54,128 My cousin once knew a guy, 526 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,175 and the guy went out with a virgin 527 00:36:59,384 --> 00:37:01,385 for six months. 528 00:37:02,888 --> 00:37:07,683 And on their wedding night, when they got married, 529 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:11,270 and they wanted to consummate the marriage, 530 00:37:12,814 --> 00:37:15,024 the woman wouldn't let him. 531 00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:20,696 And in the morning, 532 00:37:20,906 --> 00:37:23,240 they found the guy dead 533 00:37:24,826 --> 00:37:27,786 in the bed next to her. 534 00:37:30,332 --> 00:37:33,250 - Oh. - Allison? 535 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:37,630 I don't wanna die. 536 00:37:41,843 --> 00:37:45,221 - You're my wife. - Yeah. 537 00:37:45,430 --> 00:37:48,807 - I love you. - Yeah. 538 00:37:49,351 --> 00:37:51,268 We're all alone. 539 00:37:52,938 --> 00:37:55,231 And your father, 540 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,816 he is a million miles away. 542 00:38:04,866 --> 00:38:06,784 Hello? 543 00:38:06,993 --> 00:38:12,248 Julio, I just wanna say good night to my little baby. 544 00:38:12,457 --> 00:38:14,291 My father! 546 00:38:18,380 --> 00:38:22,258 You hung up on my father? I wouldn't hang up on your father. 547 00:38:22,467 --> 00:38:24,677 You wouldn't understand my father. 548 00:38:24,886 --> 00:38:28,264 Yeah, well, I'm not so sure I understand you either. 549 00:38:28,473 --> 00:38:32,351 Well then why don't you go spend your wedding night with your father then? 550 00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:37,856 Okay, I will! 553 00:38:48,285 --> 00:38:50,744 Monty, don't forget to fix the walk. 554 00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:51,996 Yeah. 556 00:39:07,929 --> 00:39:10,097 Watch it, watch it! Watch where you're goin'! 557 00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:13,851 My air mail! 558 00:39:14,060 --> 00:39:15,644 Oh, my air mail! 560 00:39:28,408 --> 00:39:30,868 Listen to me. I want my wife back. 561 00:39:31,244 --> 00:39:32,870 Well, look who's here. Don Juan. 562 00:39:33,079 --> 00:39:36,332 - It's your fault she left me, man. - What, am I responsible? 563 00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:39,293 When Eddie Fisher broke up with Debbie, you blame me for that too, huh? 564 00:39:39,502 --> 00:39:40,627 She don't wanna see ya. 565 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:42,880 You gotta help me, man. You gotta help me. 566 00:39:43,089 --> 00:39:46,383 Give her time. She'll come back when she's ready. 567 00:39:46,593 --> 00:39:48,969 You oughta give her a few drinks. 568 00:39:49,179 --> 00:39:51,096 That's how I got her mother ready. 569 00:39:59,689 --> 00:40:00,773 I'm in. 570 00:40:01,900 --> 00:40:03,859 - It's up to you, Paddy. - Yeah. 571 00:40:04,861 --> 00:40:08,364 - What the hell is that you got on? - This? This used to be a shirt. 572 00:40:08,573 --> 00:40:10,407 You know Rose. She don't throw nothin' out. 573 00:40:10,617 --> 00:40:11,909 She keeps lookin' at the cuffs. 574 00:40:12,118 --> 00:40:14,411 Soon as they get frayed, it becomes a short-sleeve shirt. 575 00:40:14,621 --> 00:40:16,914 When the collar goes, I end up with a pajama top. 576 00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:19,875 Right now I got 23 short-sleeve pajama tops. 577 00:40:20,085 --> 00:40:23,379 You know what I found in the closet? A hundred 1978 calendars. 578 00:40:23,588 --> 00:40:25,381 That's Rose! 579 00:40:25,590 --> 00:40:28,425 I tell ya, if 1978 ever comes back, we're in great shape, ya know. 580 00:40:28,635 --> 00:40:30,928 Hey, are we gonna talk or we gonna play cards? 581 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:35,641 He'll talk. 582 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,897 Nicky, take it easy. 583 00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:44,983 Take it easy, Nicky. He didn't mean it. 585 00:40:48,071 --> 00:40:50,197 Monty, the phone. 586 00:40:51,658 --> 00:40:53,492 Hello? Hello? 587 00:40:54,536 --> 00:40:56,995 Monty, you have to pick it up. 588 00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,881 You got the wrong number. There's nobody home. We're asleep. 589 00:41:08,633 --> 00:41:11,009 Mr. Capuletti? 590 00:41:12,554 --> 00:41:16,014 - Are you there? - Monty, who is it, Monty? 592 00:41:23,815 --> 00:41:27,609 Hello, hello! Anyone there? 593 00:41:28,403 --> 00:41:30,779 Ah, ah. 595 00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:36,243 Who know a Scrappleton? 596 00:41:36,453 --> 00:41:38,787 That's mother's lawyer. 597 00:41:44,294 --> 00:41:47,212 Yeah. Yeah? 598 00:41:47,422 --> 00:41:49,882 That's awful! 599 00:41:50,842 --> 00:41:54,720 No, no. I'm sorry. I'll tell her. 600 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:56,805 I'll tell her. I'm sorry. 601 00:41:57,849 --> 00:42:00,184 Monty, what happened? 602 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:06,648 Rose, you better sit down for this. 603 00:42:11,362 --> 00:42:14,823 Is it mother? 604 00:42:15,366 --> 00:42:18,160 Rose, there was a plane crash. 605 00:42:19,496 --> 00:42:23,290 Your mother earned her wings. 606 00:42:24,334 --> 00:42:28,795 It's all right. It's all right, baby. 607 00:42:30,048 --> 00:42:31,882 And to my nephew Clive, 608 00:42:32,091 --> 00:42:34,384 son of my beloved departed brother, 609 00:42:34,594 --> 00:42:37,888 whom I've undertaken to raise as a son of my own, 610 00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:41,892 in as much as he has always led a simple, virtuous life, 611 00:42:42,101 --> 00:42:45,395 and because it is my wish that he continue to do so, 612 00:42:45,605 --> 00:42:50,442 I bequeath to him an additional income of $5,000 a year 613 00:42:50,652 --> 00:42:52,486 for the rest of his life. 614 00:42:52,695 --> 00:42:55,989 Ah there must be some mistake, Dan. 615 00:42:56,533 --> 00:42:59,952 - There must be some more zeroes. - No. 616 00:43:00,161 --> 00:43:01,954 Um, a comma? 617 00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:03,956 No. 618 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:06,500 To my beloved daughter, Rose, 619 00:43:06,793 --> 00:43:10,671 burdened as she is with cares and responsibilities, 620 00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,757 I bequeath the remainder of my estate, 621 00:43:13,967 --> 00:43:16,593 which includes Monahan's Department Store, 622 00:43:16,803 --> 00:43:19,179 estimated worth, $10 million. 623 00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:21,181 Oh! 624 00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:24,184 If, and only if, her husband Monty 625 00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,186 can reform himself in one year. 626 00:43:26,396 --> 00:43:29,147 What kind of reform you talking' about? 627 00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:32,734 There is a codicil attached to the will, Mr. Capalooti. 628 00:43:32,944 --> 00:43:35,612 - That's Capuletti. - Mr. Capuletti. 629 00:43:35,822 --> 00:43:39,741 Which lists the activities which are to be proscribed: 630 00:43:39,951 --> 00:43:44,788 That is, the things you must refrain from. 631 00:43:52,338 --> 00:43:54,715 - No smoking. - No philandering. 632 00:43:54,924 --> 00:43:56,925 - No gambling. - No drugs. 633 00:43:57,135 --> 00:43:58,135 No alcohol. 634 00:43:58,344 --> 00:44:00,804 No alcohol? Does that go for beer too? 635 00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,222 Certainly. 636 00:44:02,432 --> 00:44:06,268 And you must weigh not more than 175 pounds. 637 00:44:06,477 --> 00:44:07,728 Uh, question? 638 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:11,773 Assuming Monty can't reform, perish the thought... 639 00:44:11,983 --> 00:44:14,776 Oh, then you get the money. 640 00:44:14,986 --> 00:44:16,820 I do? 641 00:44:29,083 --> 00:44:32,252 - Forget about it. I'm not doin' it. - You're right, forget it. 642 00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:37,341 Daddy, come on, you can do it! It's $10 million! 643 00:44:39,218 --> 00:44:40,761 Oh, and Mr. Capalooti, 644 00:44:40,970 --> 00:44:43,764 should you decide to accept these terms, 645 00:44:43,973 --> 00:44:47,351 remember we'll be watching you. 646 00:44:49,896 --> 00:44:53,857 I need a drink and a cigarette so I can think this over, ya know. 647 00:44:55,777 --> 00:44:58,153 Twelve months? Forget about it. 648 00:44:58,363 --> 00:45:00,656 You can do that standing on your head. 649 00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,240 It's easy money. 650 00:45:02,533 --> 00:45:04,451 Hey, that's a lot of money, Monty. 651 00:45:04,661 --> 00:45:06,953 That could parlay into a fortune for you. 652 00:45:08,164 --> 00:45:11,458 I couldn't care less, Monty, but think of the kids. 653 00:45:12,001 --> 00:45:15,462 - Think about mommy. - Think of your wife, and your kids. 654 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:21,510 Think of me, ya bum! 657 00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,977 Monty, breakfast is ready. 658 00:46:13,229 --> 00:46:15,105 Oh, breakfast. Beautiful. 659 00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:17,649 I stopped smoking. I'm starvin'. 660 00:46:17,859 --> 00:46:20,235 - Dad, pass the syrup. - Here, here. 661 00:46:22,238 --> 00:46:24,489 Rose, you gave me the wrong plate. 662 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,992 Where's the rest of my eggs and my home fries? 663 00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:30,662 These are the rest of your eggs, these are your home fries, 664 00:46:30,872 --> 00:46:33,707 and this is applesauce. 665 00:46:38,463 --> 00:46:42,132 Belinda, I can't eat all my home fries. Want some home fries? 666 00:46:42,341 --> 00:46:44,134 No, thanks. 667 00:46:44,343 --> 00:46:47,846 Here, Monty. Oohhh, pass them to Belinda. 668 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:50,307 If you wanna lose weight, you should start now. 669 00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:55,645 Ooh, food. 670 00:46:55,855 --> 00:46:58,690 - It's a tough give-up. - Allison, eat. 671 00:46:58,900 --> 00:47:01,735 Allison, you gotta eat. 672 00:47:02,278 --> 00:47:03,737 I know marriage is rough. 673 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:07,199 It's not all moonlight and canoes. That's in the movies. 674 00:47:07,408 --> 00:47:10,202 - I don't wanna talk about it. - What's the matter with you? 675 00:47:10,411 --> 00:47:13,747 You don't eat. You don't talk to no one. 676 00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:16,666 You lock yourself in your room all night. 677 00:47:16,876 --> 00:47:19,503 The way you're carrying on, you'll never meet another guy. 678 00:47:27,136 --> 00:47:28,428 What'd I say? 679 00:47:28,638 --> 00:47:30,430 "You'll never meet another guy." 680 00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,349 Take out the garbage. 681 00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:36,186 Take out the garbage. 682 00:47:36,395 --> 00:47:39,648 I didn't even eat, I gotta take out the garbage. 683 00:47:42,819 --> 00:47:44,778 Hi. 686 00:47:56,833 --> 00:47:59,292 She ain't worth $10 million. 687 00:48:03,422 --> 00:48:05,423 $5 million, maybe. 688 00:49:02,148 --> 00:49:04,566 Hey, not here! Not here! 689 00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:07,569 I'm your new neighbor, Bill Jones. You can call me Bill. 690 00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,530 Not here! Why don't you take him on your property, huh? 691 00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:12,949 Take it easy, you interrupt King's business he gets very upset. 692 00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,577 What makes you think I wanna inherit his business? 693 00:49:15,786 --> 00:49:17,579 If you feel so bad, I'll clean it up. 694 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:18,538 Sure. 695 00:49:18,748 --> 00:49:22,167 So you're Monty Capuletti. Congratulations on your daughter's wedding. 696 00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:25,962 Some party, I heard about. What am I telling you for, you were there. 697 00:49:26,172 --> 00:49:29,549 Look, I'm your next door neighbor now, so we gotta get to be good buddies. 698 00:49:29,759 --> 00:49:32,969 I wanna have a relationship. Most important thing for us, we gotta have a good rapport. 699 00:49:33,179 --> 00:49:35,055 Wait till you meet Ginger. She's my better half. 700 00:49:35,264 --> 00:49:38,558 I already saw your better half. In fact, I saw more than half. 701 00:49:38,768 --> 00:49:41,561 She's a dynamite girl. I met her in Vegas a couple of years ago. 702 00:49:41,771 --> 00:49:44,606 Oh, man, she's a loving, caring, sharing person. 703 00:49:44,815 --> 00:49:46,483 Someone maybe one day you can become friendly with. 704 00:49:46,692 --> 00:49:48,652 I needed you two to move in next door. 705 00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:51,363 I'm nervous enough this morning. Are you kiddin'? 706 00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:54,115 Nervous, maybe you need a little smoke. 707 00:49:54,325 --> 00:49:57,118 Little ups, little downs, little something. I got anything you need. 708 00:49:57,328 --> 00:49:58,828 What are you talkin' to me about drugs for? 709 00:49:59,038 --> 00:50:00,622 I got my daughter here. She's 12 years old. 710 00:50:00,831 --> 00:50:03,583 Look, you got a connection in the family already, stick with it. 711 00:50:03,793 --> 00:50:07,003 But just this once, I'll tell you what, my friend. Let me be Santa Claus. 712 00:50:07,213 --> 00:50:10,674 There's one, two, from me to you. We'll take a hike. Come on pouchy. 714 00:50:28,901 --> 00:50:32,946 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 715 00:50:35,658 --> 00:50:39,202 Two, four, six, eight, ten. Two, four, six, eight, ten. 717 00:50:49,964 --> 00:50:51,756 This is ridiculous. 718 00:50:51,966 --> 00:50:54,259 But daddy, jogging's good for you. 719 00:50:54,468 --> 00:50:58,805 Thanks to jogging, more people than ever are dropping dead in perfect health. 720 00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:12,861 Five more. 721 00:51:16,407 --> 00:51:20,201 - Celebrity Pizza. - Send over the usual. Eight pies. 722 00:51:20,411 --> 00:51:23,788 Two Lollo Brigidas, two Jerry Vales, two Pavarottis, 723 00:51:23,956 --> 00:51:25,749 one Caruso and a Frank Nitti. 724 00:51:25,958 --> 00:51:29,044 - Monty, is that you? - Yeah. I got a cold. 725 00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:37,761 Stay right there. I'll get some money. 726 00:51:38,888 --> 00:51:40,013 C'mon, what am I asking for? 727 00:51:40,222 --> 00:51:42,265 One slice. You can stay up late, all right? 728 00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:48,980 The top one had anchovies. 729 00:51:53,944 --> 00:51:55,278 All right, who's in? 730 00:51:58,491 --> 00:52:00,909 Come on, pick the date he blows it. 731 00:52:09,919 --> 00:52:11,836 Great guy you are, you know that? 732 00:52:12,046 --> 00:52:15,340 Can't wait till he blows it, huh? Bettin' on it and everything. 733 00:52:15,549 --> 00:52:17,884 Listen to you. What, are you some kind of altar boy? 734 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:20,178 Huh? You're some influence. 735 00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:22,806 You gamble in front of him, you drink in front of him. 736 00:52:23,057 --> 00:52:25,266 Hey, Monty see, Monty do, you know. 737 00:52:30,981 --> 00:52:35,360 Hector, Hector. Don't push me. 738 00:52:35,569 --> 00:52:38,363 Listen to me. It's gonna work. 739 00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,365 See these pennies? 740 00:52:40,574 --> 00:52:44,869 You take these pennies, you throw 'em at the window, and I'll be in the bush. 741 00:52:45,079 --> 00:52:47,330 I saw it in a movie once. It's gonna work perfect. 742 00:52:47,540 --> 00:52:50,750 If you need any help, just listen to what I'm gonna tell you to say. 743 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:53,378 Go on. Go get 'em. 744 00:52:53,587 --> 00:52:56,881 - Where you going? - I'll be in the bush. 745 00:52:57,091 --> 00:52:58,883 Throw the pennies. 746 00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:02,011 - You're gonna be behind the bush? - I'll be right here. 748 00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:15,900 Who's there? 749 00:53:21,031 --> 00:53:23,992 Hey. How are you? 750 00:53:26,036 --> 00:53:28,163 I was just, uh... 751 00:53:29,081 --> 00:53:30,874 I was in the neighborhood, 752 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:34,919 and thought I'd stop by, see what's cooking. 753 00:53:35,129 --> 00:53:38,464 - That Julio? - Yeah. 754 00:53:40,509 --> 00:53:43,928 - What do I say? - Tell her to come down. 755 00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:46,347 Prove to her you're the man. 756 00:53:48,517 --> 00:53:51,227 Come down. I'm the man. 757 00:53:51,437 --> 00:53:53,938 Get tough. Tell her you're bad. 758 00:53:54,148 --> 00:53:55,815 - I'm bad. - Like you mean it. 759 00:53:56,025 --> 00:54:00,028 Allison! I'm bad. 760 00:54:00,571 --> 00:54:02,947 No, no, no! 761 00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:04,782 Jump up and down. 762 00:54:05,659 --> 00:54:09,078 - I am so bad! I am so bad! - Be angry. 763 00:54:09,288 --> 00:54:12,916 - Who are you talking to? - Julio and the hedge. 764 00:54:13,125 --> 00:54:15,960 I'm so bad, I should be in detention. 765 00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,504 No, no. Be mean. 766 00:54:19,048 --> 00:54:21,549 Wave your arms. Make believe you're angry. 767 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,468 Listen to me. 768 00:54:23,677 --> 00:54:25,303 I'm not that kind of guy 769 00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:28,973 that's gonna start playing around in the driveway of a tract house! 770 00:54:29,183 --> 00:54:33,061 I'm not gonna lose my temper in front of the woman that I love! 771 00:54:35,606 --> 00:54:38,483 Get on your knees. Beg her. 772 00:54:38,692 --> 00:54:41,569 Tell her you're thinking of killing yourself. 773 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:48,076 No. I don't talk like that. 774 00:54:48,619 --> 00:54:52,288 Do you hear me? I don't talk like that. 775 00:54:53,582 --> 00:54:57,961 If you know so much about women, you talk to her. 776 00:54:58,212 --> 00:55:00,505 The hedge, Allison Capuletti. 777 00:55:00,714 --> 00:55:03,967 Allison, the hedge has a few words to say to you. 778 00:55:04,718 --> 00:55:08,513 - I don't know what to say. - Oh, now you don't know what to say! 779 00:55:08,722 --> 00:55:12,517 Allison, Julio's very unhappy. 780 00:55:12,726 --> 00:55:16,771 - You made a fool out of me! - Get off of my ear! Let go of my leg! 781 00:55:22,528 --> 00:55:25,530 Saturday lunch. I can have a piece of fruit, citrus, 782 00:55:25,739 --> 00:55:27,532 or four ounces of fish. 783 00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:29,534 I think I'll have the fruit. 784 00:55:29,743 --> 00:55:31,744 Sometimes with the fish, these guys go over. 785 00:55:31,954 --> 00:55:33,037 What'll you have, buddy? 786 00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:36,499 - Two with sauerkraut and a Yoo-Hoo. - Got it. 787 00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:41,045 Two with sauerkraut. Yoo-Hoo. 788 00:55:41,255 --> 00:55:44,590 - What do you want, buddy? - Nothin'. I'll just smell his. 789 00:55:52,141 --> 00:55:54,058 You know why I'm going through this whole thing, Nicky? 790 00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,060 For my kids, that's why. 791 00:55:56,270 --> 00:55:59,063 That's the greatest love in the world, your kids. You can't beat it. 792 00:55:59,273 --> 00:56:02,567 That's why you do things. That's love, for your kids. 793 00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:05,069 See what I mean, see that man over there with his kid? 794 00:56:05,279 --> 00:56:09,073 That's love. Look at the way he loves the kid, bouncing him on his knee. 795 00:56:09,283 --> 00:56:11,159 That's love, baby, I'll tell you that. 796 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:14,579 There he is! Thank goodness he's all right! 797 00:56:14,788 --> 00:56:17,457 What's going on? I'm sitting here minding my business, he jumped on my lap. 798 00:56:17,666 --> 00:56:19,459 - Get away from my kid! - Everybody calm down. 799 00:56:19,668 --> 00:56:21,586 - Do you have some identification, sir? - It's in my other raincoat. 800 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,297 Didn't I tell you to never wander away from mommy again? 801 00:56:24,506 --> 00:56:26,674 Spit that out right now! 803 00:56:34,641 --> 00:56:36,392 Come on. 804 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,690 It's all ready. Come on, give it a shot. 805 00:56:47,738 --> 00:56:50,198 You gotta go 30 miles an hour 806 00:56:50,491 --> 00:56:52,992 for 15 minutes for it to do anything. 807 00:56:54,370 --> 00:56:56,954 Come on, faster, faster. Come on. 808 00:56:57,164 --> 00:56:59,499 Faster. You gotta get it up to speed. 809 00:56:59,708 --> 00:57:02,168 Faster, faster, faster! 811 00:57:04,088 --> 00:57:07,006 Faster. 30 miles. Faster. Faster. 812 00:57:07,216 --> 00:57:11,803 - Oh, my! - Oh, no! Oh. 813 00:57:18,644 --> 00:57:21,229 Come on. Keep quiet. Keep your head down. 814 00:57:21,772 --> 00:57:23,648 - Is my hair too flat? - No. 815 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:25,775 You look great. Come on. 816 00:57:26,860 --> 00:57:30,655 Come on, Julio. Okay. Gimme that. 817 00:57:30,864 --> 00:57:34,617 It's locked. Let's go play Space Invaders. 818 00:57:34,910 --> 00:57:37,161 No. We'll go up the drain pipe. 819 00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:40,123 Don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be all right. 820 00:57:40,332 --> 00:57:44,043 - I will not. I won't go up that way. - All you gotta do is climb up. 821 00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:46,170 Come on. Come on. 822 00:57:46,380 --> 00:57:48,589 You can do it! You bad! 823 00:57:50,759 --> 00:57:53,761 I had to hook up with the only virgin in New York. 824 00:57:53,971 --> 00:57:56,639 Didn't they teach this at school? 825 00:57:56,849 --> 00:57:59,684 They taught math at your school, but you can't divide. 826 00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:01,811 At least I can multiply. 827 00:58:03,313 --> 00:58:05,690 You sure this is Allison's bedroom? 828 00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,776 I know this place like the back of my hand. 830 00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:20,163 What happened? 831 00:58:20,372 --> 00:58:23,749 I got the back of my hand stuck in the toilet. 832 00:58:31,925 --> 00:58:35,386 Listen to me. You gotta be quiet. 833 00:58:35,929 --> 00:58:37,638 We gotta be quiet. 834 00:58:40,434 --> 00:58:42,810 - Where's the light? - Shh! 835 00:58:44,438 --> 00:58:46,355 That isn't a light. 836 00:58:47,065 --> 00:58:50,359 That's not the light. And this is not the light. 837 00:58:52,404 --> 00:58:54,947 That's the water pik. 838 00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:03,706 Here's the plan. 839 00:59:03,916 --> 00:59:06,209 I'm gonna go talk to Allison. 840 00:59:06,460 --> 00:59:09,003 When I leave the room, you... 841 00:59:13,425 --> 00:59:15,676 We're in here. 842 00:59:27,898 --> 00:59:29,857 Just be calm. 843 00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,818 Just be calm, and get out the window. 844 00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,370 Ow! 845 00:59:43,914 --> 00:59:45,748 - I'll meet you down by the car. - Yeah. 846 00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:48,751 I'll be all right. Don't worry about it. 847 00:59:52,756 --> 00:59:54,298 Julio! 848 00:59:54,508 --> 00:59:56,842 Julio! 851 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:21,075 I'll have a number three with flour tortillas. 852 01:00:21,285 --> 01:00:23,661 Mmm. Two of them. 853 01:00:26,665 --> 01:00:30,626 Um, I'll have the special. Number one. 854 01:00:33,672 --> 01:00:37,508 I'll have a junior salad. No dressing. 855 01:00:41,680 --> 01:00:43,598 Why don't you stop carryin' on, huh Monty? 856 01:00:43,807 --> 01:00:46,726 Rate you're goin', I'll bet you a hundred bucks you're not gonna make it. 857 01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:51,230 If I bet you, then I won't make it. 858 01:00:52,316 --> 01:00:56,110 Just remember: when the going gets tough, the tough get going. 859 01:00:56,320 --> 01:00:57,862 What if you're not tough? 860 01:00:58,822 --> 01:01:00,615 You gotta be strong like me. 861 01:01:00,824 --> 01:01:02,617 Look. What is this? Nothin'. 862 01:01:02,826 --> 01:01:06,078 Put it right out. It's not gonna be my master. 863 01:01:09,207 --> 01:01:11,167 Gimme a light, Lou. 864 01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:19,133 Mmm, Monty, you gotta have discilton. 865 01:01:19,343 --> 01:01:21,093 Discipline. 866 01:01:23,722 --> 01:01:27,642 - Can I have your olive? - You got extra olives? 867 01:01:27,851 --> 01:01:30,144 You want the black one or the green one? 868 01:01:30,354 --> 01:01:33,731 - Which one you want? - It's up to you. Take the green one. 869 01:01:37,778 --> 01:01:42,156 Just a minute Okay, you gotta stay still. Okay, kid? 870 01:01:42,366 --> 01:01:45,159 You gotta stay still. Kid, you gotta stay still. 871 01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:47,578 Monty, have you ever seen a face like that before? 872 01:01:47,788 --> 01:01:49,622 No. If I did, I'd remember it. 873 01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:53,376 Okay, I'm gonna get a real good picture now. Okay? 874 01:01:53,585 --> 01:01:57,755 - Look at him! He's got my eyes. - He's got my nose. 875 01:01:57,964 --> 01:02:00,758 And my sympathy. All right. 876 01:02:00,967 --> 01:02:02,843 We want some wallet-size pictures too. 877 01:02:03,845 --> 01:02:06,055 This kid won't fit in a wallet-size. 878 01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:09,183 Make 'em good pictures. My wife's very particular. 879 01:02:09,393 --> 01:02:12,561 What about you, John? He's very particular too. 880 01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:15,064 I'm surprised you married each other. 881 01:02:15,273 --> 01:02:17,566 All right. Look, kid. 882 01:02:17,776 --> 01:02:21,862 I'm tired of telling you the same thing. You gotta stay still. I'll tell you what. 883 01:02:22,072 --> 01:02:24,448 Anthony, I'm gonna make a deal with you. 884 01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:25,950 Anthony, pay attention. 885 01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:27,993 You gotta stay still. 886 01:02:28,203 --> 01:02:30,287 If we wanna get a good picture, we gotta stay still. 887 01:02:30,497 --> 01:02:32,957 We wanna get a good picture, Anthony. 888 01:02:33,166 --> 01:02:37,044 Stay still. Stay still. Help that kid out, will ya? 889 01:02:37,254 --> 01:02:40,047 - Talk to him, grandma. - Here we go, Anthony. 890 01:02:40,257 --> 01:02:43,467 Be quiet. 891 01:02:43,677 --> 01:02:47,012 Stay still. Quiet, will ya! 892 01:02:47,556 --> 01:02:50,975 Blanche, John, grandma, talk to him, will ya? Stay quiet! 893 01:02:51,184 --> 01:02:54,478 Hey, kid, be quiet, will ya? 894 01:02:54,688 --> 01:02:58,023 Somebody! Will you shut the fat little bastard up? 895 01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,109 What is the law? 896 01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:04,113 Not to go on all fours. 897 01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:07,116 - That is the law. - What is the law? 898 01:03:07,325 --> 01:03:10,619 Not to shed blood. 899 01:03:10,829 --> 01:03:13,581 His prices are insane! 900 01:03:13,790 --> 01:03:16,083 (STAR SPANGLED BANNER) 901 01:03:16,293 --> 01:03:19,086 All we need is one pin, Rodney. 902 01:03:19,296 --> 01:03:22,089 Now, back to "Lost Weekend." 903 01:03:22,299 --> 01:03:26,677 He who breaks the law must go to the house of pain. 904 01:03:26,887 --> 01:03:28,596 Back to the pain! 906 01:03:32,726 --> 01:03:34,226 Monty. 907 01:03:41,735 --> 01:03:44,153 Monty, it's 3:00 in the morning. 908 01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:48,157 Come to bed. You haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks. 909 01:03:49,367 --> 01:03:53,078 I don't know how to sleep. I know how to pass out. 910 01:03:59,252 --> 01:04:01,629 Maybe you should see a doctor. 911 01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,380 If I see a doctor, I'll blow the whole thing. 912 01:04:03,590 --> 01:04:05,633 They give you sleeping pills. 913 01:04:05,842 --> 01:04:08,677 You know what I do when I can't sleep? 914 01:04:08,887 --> 01:04:11,514 - What? - I knit. 915 01:04:12,891 --> 01:04:15,684 Maybe I'll knit myself a beer. 916 01:04:15,894 --> 01:04:18,771 How about some hot milk? It'll do you good. 917 01:04:19,898 --> 01:04:21,774 I'll try anything. 918 01:04:24,277 --> 01:04:27,780 - Hot milk. - Come on. 919 01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:41,669 Monty, I know what you're going through. 920 01:04:41,878 --> 01:04:44,255 Do you wanna talk about it? 921 01:04:53,306 --> 01:04:54,723 You know your friend Blanche Genaro? 922 01:04:54,933 --> 01:04:55,724 Uh-huh. 923 01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:59,770 Her kid Anthony, I called him a fat little bastard. 925 01:05:03,859 --> 01:05:07,236 Very funny. We're laughin' and I'm out of a job. 926 01:05:07,445 --> 01:05:09,822 Monty, you're a great photographer. 927 01:05:14,870 --> 01:05:18,706 - You'll get another job. - Yeah, when? 928 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:20,708 Meanwhile, I got nothing to do. 929 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:23,711 What do people do when they're not getting loaded? 930 01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:27,131 What you have to do is change your habits. 931 01:05:27,340 --> 01:05:29,216 Yeah? Who you been talking to? 932 01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,760 Mrs. Dugan. She's an expert. 933 01:05:31,970 --> 01:05:35,431 She had three husbands. They all died of alcohol. 934 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:38,017 She's no expert, she's a carrier. 935 01:05:44,357 --> 01:05:46,734 You know what I was thinking about today? 936 01:05:47,485 --> 01:05:50,779 Coney Island. When the kids were small? 937 01:05:52,115 --> 01:05:54,700 Remember the time you put Allison on the pony 938 01:05:54,910 --> 01:05:57,786 and you tried to make the pony smile to make Allison smile? 939 01:05:58,330 --> 01:06:02,249 - I never laughed so hard. - That was the good old days. 940 01:06:02,459 --> 01:06:05,085 If I make it through this, I'll buy you Coney Island. 941 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:09,840 I don't need Coney Island. I need you. 942 01:06:19,309 --> 01:06:21,852 (PRACTICING VIOLING) 943 01:06:25,899 --> 01:06:28,484 (VIOLIN CONTINUES) 944 01:06:35,450 --> 01:06:39,411 (VIOLIN CONTINUES) 945 01:06:57,931 --> 01:07:00,849 (VIOLIN CONTINUES) 946 01:07:01,059 --> 01:07:03,602 - Hi, Nicky. - Hi, Rose. 947 01:07:04,562 --> 01:07:07,856 - Hey, kid. - Oh, yo, nick. 948 01:07:08,066 --> 01:07:11,360 - What are you playing, Mozart? - Scales. 949 01:07:11,569 --> 01:07:13,362 Scales? Never heard of him. 950 01:07:13,571 --> 01:07:16,240 (VIOLIN CONTINUES) 951 01:07:18,076 --> 01:07:20,786 Rose! Rose! Rose! 952 01:07:20,996 --> 01:07:23,330 Hey, whoa! What are you doin'? 953 01:07:23,540 --> 01:07:25,332 What's going on? What, are you crackin' up? 954 01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:28,419 I tell you, Nicky, it's rough. It's rough. 955 01:07:30,964 --> 01:07:33,424 What's the matter with you? What is this? 956 01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:35,426 Rose told me I need hobbies. 957 01:07:35,969 --> 01:07:37,928 I'm making a plane. It's a messerschmitt. 958 01:07:41,474 --> 01:07:43,434 It's a nice job. 959 01:07:43,977 --> 01:07:45,769 I tell ya, I'm fed up with everything. 960 01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,647 I wanna go to sleep and wake up four months from now when it's all over. 961 01:07:48,857 --> 01:07:51,942 You know what your problem is? This whole thing ain't real to you. 962 01:07:52,235 --> 01:07:53,777 You don't know what you're coming into. 963 01:07:53,987 --> 01:07:55,404 Did you ever see Monahan's Department Store? 964 01:07:55,613 --> 01:07:57,906 Once from the outside when I dropped Rose off. 965 01:07:58,116 --> 01:07:59,575 Why don't we go see it from the inside? 966 01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:01,410 What do you say, come on. We'll have a few laughs. 967 01:08:01,619 --> 01:08:04,204 Huh? Come on. I need a new shirt anyway. 968 01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:11,378 Rose, there's a messerschmitt in the kitchen. Clean it up, will ya? 969 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,059 (WHISTLES) Some joint, huh? 970 01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,188 When you take over, let me fix the bathrooms here. 971 01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:35,110 They don't go to the bathroom here. 972 01:08:36,279 --> 01:08:38,155 See this? 974 01:08:49,501 --> 01:08:51,502 Could somebody help us here? 975 01:08:52,796 --> 01:08:54,630 I don't think so. 976 01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:59,093 I tell ya, my friend here, he's look... 977 01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:01,637 I tell ya, my friend here, he's lookin' for a shirt. 978 01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:04,681 Yeah. You have something in a dark black? 979 01:09:05,809 --> 01:09:08,602 He wants something he can wear four, five days in a row. 980 01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:14,108 You have any men's shirts for men? 981 01:09:14,317 --> 01:09:16,693 Have you tried the Army/Navy store? 982 01:09:17,237 --> 01:09:21,115 Very funny. One more word out of you, and he gets it. 983 01:09:21,324 --> 01:09:23,700 Come on. 984 01:09:24,244 --> 01:09:27,663 Why don't you two put your heads together, make an ass out of yourselves? 985 01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:34,253 Where're you goin'? 986 01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:36,171 It says, "Come In And Browse." 987 01:09:38,716 --> 01:09:43,345 - May I help you? - No, thank you. Just browsing. 988 01:09:44,347 --> 01:09:46,640 What have they got in this place, antiques? 989 01:09:47,350 --> 01:09:49,143 No, those are the customers. 990 01:09:49,352 --> 01:09:53,147 - May I help you? - No, thanks. Just browsing. 991 01:09:53,356 --> 01:09:56,650 How long do you intend to browse? 992 01:09:56,860 --> 01:10:00,571 That lady, you didn't ask her how long she intends to browse. 993 01:10:00,780 --> 01:10:02,739 How come you're asking us how long we intend to browse? 994 01:10:02,949 --> 01:10:04,658 You don't look like browsers. 995 01:10:04,868 --> 01:10:08,036 - What do browsers look like? - Maybe I'm half browser. 996 01:10:08,288 --> 01:10:09,371 On his father's side. 997 01:10:09,581 --> 01:10:12,624 Nevertheless, I prefer that you do not browse any longer. 998 01:10:12,834 --> 01:10:14,334 Yeah, well it's a free country. 999 01:10:14,544 --> 01:10:16,545 Yeah, if these people can browse, we can browse. 1000 01:10:16,754 --> 01:10:19,173 Nicky, let's show the lady we're browsers, huh? 1001 01:10:19,382 --> 01:10:21,675 Hey, look at us. We're browsing. 1002 01:10:21,885 --> 01:10:26,680 - Hey, ducks in heat. - Please! That's 18th century. 1003 01:10:26,890 --> 01:10:29,183 Folks, better keep browsing or she'll kick you out of here. 1004 01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:33,187 - Look at us. We're browsing. - Is this an odd or an end? 1005 01:10:33,396 --> 01:10:36,732 Hey lady, if I buy two odds, will you show us your end? 1006 01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:38,525 Ohh! 1007 01:10:40,028 --> 01:10:43,780 Security. Security! Security! 1009 01:10:47,619 --> 01:10:50,495 - Yes? - Mr. Barlow, please. 1010 01:10:51,497 --> 01:10:54,791 - What is it? - Do you know a Monty Capuletti? 1011 01:10:55,001 --> 01:10:57,294 - Yes. - Well, he's on his way upstairs. 1012 01:10:57,503 --> 01:10:59,379 Is he? 1013 01:11:05,929 --> 01:11:10,349 Gentlemen, let's shelve these petty matters for the moment. 1014 01:11:10,558 --> 01:11:13,852 The son-in-law of our late, beloved president is on his way to join us, 1015 01:11:14,062 --> 01:11:17,689 so let's just sit around and smoke and drink. 1016 01:11:17,899 --> 01:11:19,691 Brent, Brice! 1017 01:11:21,486 --> 01:11:23,612 Make up your mind. Which one of us do you like? 1019 01:11:25,823 --> 01:11:27,532 Down the hatch. 1020 01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:34,748 Mr. Barlow, this joker says he knows you. 1021 01:11:34,958 --> 01:11:37,834 This joker is part of the Monahan family, Gus. 1022 01:11:38,044 --> 01:11:40,420 Oh, sorry, sir. 1023 01:11:42,966 --> 01:11:46,760 People, this is Monty Capuletti and his friend, Nick Marino. 1024 01:11:46,970 --> 01:11:50,889 - No need to stand. - Monty, what brings you here? 1025 01:11:51,099 --> 01:11:53,892 Nicky was lookin' to get a shirt, but we couldn't find any. 1026 01:11:54,102 --> 01:11:55,894 You got nothin' in this store nobody wants to buy. 1027 01:11:56,104 --> 01:11:58,772 Monahan's has an upscale clientele. 1028 01:11:58,982 --> 01:12:02,276 All our gentlemen customers are very conscious of style. 1029 01:12:02,485 --> 01:12:04,403 Men don't have style. 1030 01:12:04,612 --> 01:12:07,489 Men wear clothes. Women have style. 1031 01:12:08,491 --> 01:12:10,409 What sort of shirt were you looking for? 1032 01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:12,411 A regular shirt. 1033 01:12:12,620 --> 01:12:14,871 See this shirt? Every guy on our block's got one of these. 1034 01:12:15,081 --> 01:12:17,374 You guys don't dress regular. 1035 01:12:17,583 --> 01:12:19,376 You got on vests. It's hot as hell here. 1036 01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:22,879 These gentlemen and ladies were handpicked to work for me 1037 01:12:23,089 --> 01:12:24,881 and dress accordingly. 1038 01:12:25,091 --> 01:12:27,718 Where'd you find these guys, Noah's Ark? 1040 01:12:30,013 --> 01:12:33,473 And you. There's a lot of trouble finding your fly. 1041 01:12:35,518 --> 01:12:36,935 I really must apologize. 1042 01:12:37,145 --> 01:12:38,687 Monty, I've made a mistake. 1043 01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:41,940 I didn't realize what your true talents were. 1044 01:12:42,525 --> 01:12:47,446 - Oh, no. - You have such fashion sense. 1045 01:12:47,655 --> 01:12:50,282 Everything we've been buying, wrong. All wrong. 1046 01:12:50,491 --> 01:12:51,450 Tell us more. 1047 01:12:51,659 --> 01:12:53,785 - Your pants. - Our pants. 1048 01:12:53,995 --> 01:12:55,829 You gotta have pants with lots of room 1049 01:12:56,039 --> 01:12:57,914 so when you sit down, they don't split. 1050 01:12:58,124 --> 01:13:00,083 And zippers that work easy so you can fix your shorts. 1051 01:13:00,293 --> 01:13:01,335 Know what I mean? 1052 01:13:03,046 --> 01:13:05,380 Les slacks blousants avec le zip. 1053 01:13:05,590 --> 01:13:06,798 Whatever you say. 1054 01:13:07,008 --> 01:13:07,799 What about shoes? 1055 01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,426 Well, you need shoes that go on and off easy. 1056 01:13:09,635 --> 01:13:12,971 You know, no shoe horn. And no laces. They slow you up. 1057 01:13:13,181 --> 01:13:14,973 Yes, I see that. 1058 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:21,480 Chunky, black mailman oxfords, with adorable little white cotton socks. 1059 01:13:21,689 --> 01:13:24,483 Big blousy bowling shirts. 1060 01:13:24,692 --> 01:13:27,861 "Mel. The regular guy look." 1061 01:13:28,404 --> 01:13:29,154 What? 1062 01:13:29,364 --> 01:13:32,491 You can't be this crazy. He looks like a rummage sale. 1063 01:13:32,700 --> 01:13:33,784 I know what I'm doing. 1064 01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:36,495 This is just the opportunity I've been waiting for. 1065 01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:39,873 You know, the boredom of unemployment could really drive a man to drink. 1066 01:13:40,083 --> 01:13:40,957 Yeah, so could you too. 1067 01:13:41,167 --> 01:13:42,959 Hey, take it easy, Nicky, will ya? Take it easy. 1068 01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:45,045 Monty, we need a mind like yours. 1069 01:13:45,588 --> 01:13:50,050 I'd like to offer you a position as fashion consultant to Monahan's. 1070 01:13:50,259 --> 01:13:51,134 Who me? 1071 01:13:51,386 --> 01:13:53,678 I'm no fashion consultant. What's the matter with you? 1073 01:13:55,056 --> 01:13:56,390 Take the job. Take the job. 1074 01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,517 The first thing we do is we fire that broad downstairs 1075 01:13:58,726 --> 01:14:00,394 that stopped us from browsing. 1077 01:14:01,979 --> 01:14:05,023 Get me Sergio. Track down Alfonso. Draw up a budget for Mr. Capuletti. 1078 01:14:05,233 --> 01:14:07,567 Let's leak the story to the press. 1081 01:14:17,245 --> 01:14:18,036 Hello. 1082 01:14:18,246 --> 01:14:20,956 - Mr. Capuletti, please. - It's for you. It's your wife. 1083 01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:25,919 Hey Rose, they took all my clothes! 1084 01:14:26,129 --> 01:14:28,004 When are you coming home? 1085 01:14:28,214 --> 01:14:30,298 How can I come home? I got nothing to wear. 1086 01:14:30,967 --> 01:14:32,759 I'll call you later. Here, take this. 1087 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,303 - Turn away, please. - Next shirt. 1088 01:14:35,513 --> 01:14:37,305 Take it easy, honey. I got no good side. 1089 01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:39,433 Could you please turn away? 1091 01:14:40,852 --> 01:14:43,311 Scrape all the gum off the soles and analyze the shoes. 1092 01:14:43,521 --> 01:14:46,815 - Should these shorts be duplicated? - Yes, duplicated and fumigated. 1093 01:14:47,024 --> 01:14:49,317 Mr. Barlow, I have the blacks for the shirts. 1094 01:14:49,527 --> 01:14:51,903 That's Mr. Capuletti's department now. 1095 01:14:53,948 --> 01:14:57,325 I have midnight black, raven black, licorice black... 1096 01:14:57,535 --> 01:14:59,619 If Nicky was here, you'd have black-and-blue black. 1097 01:15:00,621 --> 01:15:01,663 Twelve inches. 1098 01:15:02,331 --> 01:15:04,082 Boy, you're way off. 1099 01:15:12,049 --> 01:15:15,469 Ladies and gentlemen. Compliments of Monty Capuletti, 1100 01:15:15,678 --> 01:15:18,972 invitations to the premiere of Monahan's "The Regular Guy Look. 1101 01:15:19,182 --> 01:15:20,974 Barkeeper, I'll have a Perrier with a twist. 1102 01:15:21,184 --> 01:15:23,977 I'm sorry. I only have Perrier on draft. 1103 01:15:24,187 --> 01:15:26,396 Nicholas, Patrick, how good to see you again. 1104 01:15:26,606 --> 01:15:29,483 I know what you're thinking. Why am I slumming? 1105 01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:33,487 Well, I'm here to hand-deliver these invitations to you. 1106 01:15:33,696 --> 01:15:36,031 But I'm not sure if you should attend. 1107 01:15:37,200 --> 01:15:39,075 We're his friends. We'll be there. Gimme. 1108 01:15:39,535 --> 01:15:41,369 Well, it's your decision and I'm sure your 1109 01:15:41,579 --> 01:15:44,039 intentions are the best, but think about it. 1110 01:15:44,248 --> 01:15:46,708 It's not good for Monty to associate 1111 01:15:46,918 --> 01:15:49,461 with people who do what he used to do. 1112 01:15:49,712 --> 01:15:53,006 - We would protect him from that. - He's talking about us. 1113 01:15:53,216 --> 01:15:56,009 If you really are Monty's friends, you'll stop making it hard for him. 1114 01:15:56,219 --> 01:15:58,512 Look at you. You're smoking, drinking. 1115 01:15:58,721 --> 01:16:01,014 We're in a bar. What do you expect us to do? 1116 01:16:01,224 --> 01:16:03,016 You must think I'm stupid or something. 1117 01:16:03,226 --> 01:16:05,018 I look like I just got off a boat? 1118 01:16:05,728 --> 01:16:06,686 I know what you're trying to do. 1119 01:16:06,896 --> 01:16:09,022 Go ahead, get out of here you half a sissy before I give you a slap. 1120 01:16:09,232 --> 01:16:10,941 Hey Nicky, take it easy, will ya? 1121 01:16:11,734 --> 01:16:16,613 Nick, you do want Monty to have the money, don't you? 1122 01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:23,078 Hey, what do you let it get to you for? 1123 01:16:23,287 --> 01:16:24,704 He just wants the money. 1124 01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:27,832 But what bothers me is he's right. 1125 01:16:28,042 --> 01:16:29,251 So he's right. 1126 01:16:30,253 --> 01:16:32,546 Think he's right? I mean, Nicky's his coach. 1127 01:16:32,755 --> 01:16:35,549 He tells him eat fruit, tells him to exercise. 1128 01:16:36,259 --> 01:16:39,886 It's not what he says, it's what we do. It's peer pressure. 1129 01:16:41,264 --> 01:16:44,099 Oh, yeah. Our lives are attractive. 1131 01:16:57,071 --> 01:16:59,197 I guess Nicky and Paddy won't show. 1132 01:17:01,534 --> 01:17:03,451 They didn't call, either, huh? 1133 01:17:03,661 --> 01:17:05,870 - No. - Tonight, we present 1134 01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,415 our tribute to the American silhouette. 1135 01:17:08,624 --> 01:17:11,501 Ladies and gentlemen, The Regular Guy Look. 1138 01:17:16,591 --> 01:17:20,468 Jonathan and Billy are wearing the regular guy leisure look for fall. 1139 01:17:20,678 --> 01:17:23,471 Bold print, double-knit polyester pants 1140 01:17:23,681 --> 01:17:27,017 with totally non-coordinated print shirts. 1141 01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:32,022 Pie is wearing the Italian restaurant look. 1143 01:17:34,609 --> 01:17:37,319 Perfect for picnics where you can be your own tablecloth. 1144 01:17:37,528 --> 01:17:40,989 Tie has the bowling alley sportif look. 1145 01:17:41,198 --> 01:17:43,992 Next up is Peter, wearing 1146 01:17:44,201 --> 01:17:47,454 the regular guy lounge look in black 1147 01:17:47,663 --> 01:17:49,664 on black, on black. 1148 01:17:51,375 --> 01:17:55,045 I think they like it. Everyone's smiling. 1150 01:17:58,132 --> 01:18:02,510 You like to gamble, take a chance on the regular guy robe. 1152 01:18:10,895 --> 01:18:14,564 American classic, iridescent blue sharkskin. 1153 01:18:20,154 --> 01:18:22,530 That suit. Look at that suit. 1154 01:18:22,740 --> 01:18:24,616 Have you seen the suit... 1155 01:18:27,453 --> 01:18:28,536 And now... 1156 01:18:28,746 --> 01:18:32,916 I'd like to introduce the man responsible for this evening. 1157 01:18:33,125 --> 01:18:36,002 Mr. Monty Capuletti! 1158 01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:38,088 Take a bow, Monty. 1161 01:19:00,152 --> 01:19:02,570 Fatty. Eating again, fatty, fatty? 1162 01:19:02,780 --> 01:19:05,573 Fatty, fatty. Eating again, fatty, fatty? 1163 01:19:05,783 --> 01:19:09,077 Fatty, fatty, fatty... 1164 01:19:09,286 --> 01:19:11,538 - Who put this in here? - I was only trying to help. 1165 01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:12,914 Well don't help. 1166 01:19:13,124 --> 01:19:15,166 I'm tired of people trying to help me. 1167 01:19:17,169 --> 01:19:20,547 - Monty, calm down. - What are you lookin' at? 1168 01:19:20,756 --> 01:19:22,549 Go upstairs and clean your room. It's a pigsty. 1169 01:19:22,758 --> 01:19:24,551 Leave me alone! 1170 01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:29,097 - I know what you're thinkin' too. - Oh, god. 1171 01:19:29,306 --> 01:19:31,474 All I ever wanted was a happy family. 1172 01:19:31,684 --> 01:19:34,102 That's all I ever asked for, a happy family. 1173 01:19:34,311 --> 01:19:38,148 A family that loved each other. I never cared about anything else. 1174 01:19:40,651 --> 01:19:43,153 Stop it, will ya. I can't take it no more. 1175 01:19:44,488 --> 01:19:46,489 Money caused all this. 1176 01:19:47,324 --> 01:19:51,119 I don't wanna be rich. We're not supposed to be rich. 1177 01:19:51,328 --> 01:19:54,497 We don't look rich, we don't talk rich, we don't smell rich! 1178 01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:58,626 No more rich! I want our house to be the way it was. 1180 01:20:04,216 --> 01:20:07,510 Hey, fatty, fatty. 1181 01:20:07,720 --> 01:20:10,388 - Monty, where are you going? - I'll be at Louie's. 1182 01:20:11,307 --> 01:20:12,265 Gettin' drunk! 1183 01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:14,392 Take this, Julio. Go and get her. 1184 01:20:14,602 --> 01:20:16,311 She's your wife. Go ahead, go get her. 1185 01:20:16,520 --> 01:20:17,896 Right, she's my wife. 1186 01:20:18,105 --> 01:20:19,898 A gun. I don't want a gun. 1187 01:20:20,107 --> 01:20:21,733 Go back and get her, Julio. 1188 01:20:21,942 --> 01:20:23,067 Go back and get her. 1189 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:25,403 I must've been nuts to do this for... 1190 01:20:25,613 --> 01:20:27,405 Oh, look who's here. 1191 01:20:27,615 --> 01:20:30,200 I want her back, man. She's mine. 1192 01:20:30,409 --> 01:20:32,285 Put that thing away. You'll hurt yourself, will ya. 1193 01:20:32,495 --> 01:20:33,912 Look, I'm in no mood for you. 1194 01:20:34,079 --> 01:20:35,705 In fact, there is no mood for you. 1196 01:20:44,924 --> 01:20:47,509 Nurse! Where is she? 1197 01:20:48,010 --> 01:20:50,053 They're never here when you need 'em. 1198 01:20:53,891 --> 01:20:55,850 Boy, oh, boy. 1199 01:20:57,102 --> 01:21:00,313 Oh, nurse, you're here. Where were you, huh? 1200 01:21:00,523 --> 01:21:02,899 Three hundred and fifty bucks a day, where are ya? 1201 01:21:03,442 --> 01:21:04,400 Where are ya? 1202 01:21:05,444 --> 01:21:08,363 Look at this. I'm dying of thirst here. 1203 01:21:09,031 --> 01:21:09,781 Hey, how ya doin'? 1204 01:21:09,990 --> 01:21:11,825 I heard about your unfortunate incident. 1205 01:21:12,034 --> 01:21:13,785 Where were you when I needed you? 1206 01:21:14,537 --> 01:21:16,287 I came to make up. I'm sorry. 1207 01:21:16,497 --> 01:21:19,332 All right, Nicky, we're friends. We're friends, all right? 1208 01:21:20,918 --> 01:21:22,877 It must be tough eatin', huh? 1209 01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:26,381 Eatin'. You should see me go to the bathroom. 1210 01:21:27,049 --> 01:21:31,344 - Monty! Hi, Nicky. We're back. - Rose, you're here. 1211 01:21:31,554 --> 01:21:36,349 How's our patient today? Oh, he looks much better. 1212 01:21:36,559 --> 01:21:37,600 How did you sleep? 1213 01:21:37,810 --> 01:21:39,853 Are you kiddin'? I was up all night. 1214 01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:42,188 Well, let's look at the chart. 1215 01:21:43,065 --> 01:21:46,359 He was hit in the fleshy area of the gluteus maximus. 1216 01:21:46,569 --> 01:21:48,862 Ah, you're wrong. He got me in the ass. 1217 01:21:49,071 --> 01:21:51,865 No vital areas were damaged. 1218 01:21:52,074 --> 01:21:55,243 - No doubt he'll recover. - How long do I have to be here? 1219 01:21:55,452 --> 01:21:58,913 Let me see now. Perhaps we might have to keep you here 1220 01:21:59,123 --> 01:22:02,417 for four, maybe five weeks. 1221 01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:04,878 Rose, I'm not hangin' here for five weeks. 1222 01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,880 At least I know you're gonna be all right. 1223 01:22:07,089 --> 01:22:09,257 I gotta pick up my mother at the beauty parlor, all right. 1224 01:22:09,466 --> 01:22:10,884 So long, Nicky. 1225 01:22:14,305 --> 01:22:16,180 How are you feeling today? 1226 01:22:16,932 --> 01:22:18,433 You're looking good. 1227 01:22:18,642 --> 01:22:20,435 (CHATTER OVER HOSPITAL PA) 1228 01:22:21,228 --> 01:22:23,354 Oh, daddy! 1229 01:22:25,024 --> 01:22:28,234 I never realized how much Julio loved me. 1230 01:22:29,111 --> 01:22:32,906 It was the most romantic moment of my life 1231 01:22:33,115 --> 01:22:35,783 when he almost killed you. 1232 01:22:36,744 --> 01:22:38,912 Can I call you "dad" now? 1233 01:22:39,872 --> 01:22:41,080 Take it easy! 1234 01:22:41,290 --> 01:22:43,625 These are new stitches, you know. 1235 01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,127 Why can't you forgive and forget? 1236 01:22:46,337 --> 01:22:49,631 How could I forget? Every time I sit down, I'll think of him. 1237 01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:51,799 Monty, how are you? 1238 01:22:52,343 --> 01:22:55,219 What an insensitive question. You've been shot. 1239 01:22:55,429 --> 01:22:58,097 Well, this'll cheer you up. We're a hit. 1240 01:22:58,307 --> 01:23:00,600 What are you talking about? They all laughed at me. 1241 01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:03,603 But we're laughing now, all the way to my bank. 1242 01:23:03,812 --> 01:23:05,688 Look at this. What? 1243 01:23:07,733 --> 01:23:10,652 We put the clothes in the window, and the kids went crazy for it. 1244 01:23:10,861 --> 01:23:14,155 I don't understand it, but, well, who cares? 1245 01:23:14,365 --> 01:23:16,658 The regular guy look is a big success. 1246 01:23:16,867 --> 01:23:18,326 You did the regular guy look? 1247 01:23:18,535 --> 01:23:21,120 I just bought two of your short-sleeve pajama tops. 1248 01:23:21,330 --> 01:23:25,124 - Rose, I gotta get out of here. - Daddy, this is great! 1249 01:23:25,334 --> 01:23:28,628 By the time you get out of the hospital, we'll have the money. 1250 01:23:28,837 --> 01:23:30,630 And you'll lose weight too. 1251 01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:34,634 I saw the food. Monty, she's right. Your ship's come in. 1252 01:23:34,843 --> 01:23:37,053 But my pier collapsed. 1253 01:23:37,846 --> 01:23:40,640 All right, everyone out. Visiting hours are over. Please! 1254 01:23:40,849 --> 01:23:44,227 We have sick men in here. You too, doctor. Please. 1255 01:23:44,770 --> 01:23:46,062 Excuse me, the two of you. 1257 01:23:47,856 --> 01:23:50,650 This is a hospital. Hey, come on, let's go. 1258 01:23:50,859 --> 01:23:53,236 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. My good... 1259 01:23:53,779 --> 01:23:55,697 Excuse me. Will you get out? Let's go, let's go! 1260 01:23:55,906 --> 01:23:56,864 Daddy! 1261 01:23:57,408 --> 01:23:59,742 - How are you, Mr. Manucci? - Bye, Monty. 1262 01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:01,953 Martha's gonna take good care of you today. 1263 01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:03,663 How was your lunch? 1264 01:24:03,872 --> 01:24:07,000 I see you haven't eaten much of it. I don't blame you, honey. 1265 01:24:07,209 --> 01:24:08,376 They're trying to make everybody up here sicker... 1266 01:24:08,585 --> 01:24:11,129 While I'm up here, check my oil. 1267 01:24:13,048 --> 01:24:15,299 (IDYLLIC MUSIC) 1268 01:24:32,693 --> 01:24:33,651 Jesus. 1269 01:24:33,861 --> 01:24:36,279 We trust you had a pleasant swim, sir. 1270 01:24:36,488 --> 01:24:37,196 Your shirt. 1271 01:24:37,406 --> 01:24:39,115 I don't want that shirt. Are you kiddin'? 1272 01:24:39,324 --> 01:24:41,159 But sir, you should be dressed to your station. 1273 01:24:41,368 --> 01:24:42,827 I don't want to wear that shirt, all right! 1275 01:24:44,955 --> 01:24:48,916 Yes? This is Mr. Capuletti's business advisor. 1276 01:24:49,460 --> 01:24:53,421 What can I do for you? Better yet, what can you do for me? 1277 01:24:54,548 --> 01:24:55,590 Silver is down? 1278 01:24:55,799 --> 01:24:57,842 Call the Lone Ranger. He'll cheer him up. 1280 01:25:00,304 --> 01:25:01,846 Hello. 1281 01:25:02,056 --> 01:25:04,432 Oil wells? Very interesting. 1282 01:25:06,518 --> 01:25:08,936 Meatballs, sir? No. 1283 01:25:12,107 --> 01:25:14,067 - Madam? - No. 1284 01:25:20,032 --> 01:25:22,325 Meatball, sir? 1285 01:25:23,118 --> 01:25:24,327 Where's the pistachio nuts? 1286 01:25:24,536 --> 01:25:26,370 There's too much trouble with the shells. 1287 01:25:26,580 --> 01:25:29,373 Oh, yeah? I like the shells. 1288 01:25:29,583 --> 01:25:31,459 Hmm. 1289 01:25:35,005 --> 01:25:37,423 You got any salami or provolone? 1290 01:25:38,092 --> 01:25:40,468 Salami, salami. Provolone. 1291 01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:41,886 Give it to him. 1292 01:25:43,013 --> 01:25:45,389 Why don't you get some sun and come back next week? 1293 01:25:46,100 --> 01:25:48,059 Julio? 1294 01:25:49,019 --> 01:25:50,603 Julio? 1295 01:25:53,524 --> 01:25:55,316 Julio. 1296 01:25:57,027 --> 01:25:59,028 Julio. 1297 01:25:59,655 --> 01:26:04,450 Oh, you bad boy. You were hiding from me. 1298 01:26:04,660 --> 01:26:06,994 - No. - I found you now. 1299 01:26:08,038 --> 01:26:10,915 - You gonna play with me? - Not again. 1300 01:26:11,125 --> 01:26:14,919 - Look what I wore just for you. - Allison, I'm exhausted. 1301 01:26:15,129 --> 01:26:16,921 Chapter six, "El Joyo." 1302 01:26:17,131 --> 01:26:19,924 - You hired a captain? - Yep. Everything's taken care of. 1303 01:26:20,134 --> 01:26:23,427 - He know how to get to Coney Island? - Yeah, I told him. It's easy. 1304 01:26:24,388 --> 01:26:26,013 Here, I'll show you. 1305 01:26:31,562 --> 01:26:34,981 You go north up the Atlantic, west into the Hudson. 1306 01:26:35,190 --> 01:26:37,483 Come to the statue of that broad, you hang a right. 1307 01:26:37,693 --> 01:26:40,486 Takes 20 minutes, a half hour with traffic. 1308 01:26:41,196 --> 01:26:44,365 Tell him to shove off as soon as I sign those papers with Scrappleton. 1309 01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:48,494 - (BELL CLANGING) - What's that, a fire drill? 1310 01:26:48,704 --> 01:26:52,248 - It's lunch. Come on. - I'm starving. Let's go. 1311 01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,002 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1312 01:26:57,588 --> 01:27:00,423 Oh, daddy, I just saw the cutest little dingy. 1313 01:27:00,966 --> 01:27:03,176 Allison, you're married to Julio. 1314 01:27:04,636 --> 01:27:05,887 This is the life, huh? 1315 01:27:06,096 --> 01:27:08,347 And they say money can't buy happiness. 1316 01:27:08,557 --> 01:27:10,933 At least you can pick your own kind of misery. 1318 01:27:12,978 --> 01:27:15,855 Clive, you're the only one who hasn't seen my stitches. 1319 01:27:16,064 --> 01:27:17,440 Want to take a look? 1320 01:27:26,491 --> 01:27:29,911 Ooh. Ooh. Ahh! 1321 01:27:30,120 --> 01:27:32,163 Oh, no! Ahh! 1322 01:27:32,873 --> 01:27:34,540 Excuse me. 1324 01:27:36,960 --> 01:27:39,629 Mr. Daniel Scrappleton, sir. 1325 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:42,632 Hey, Scrappy, show me that dotted line, huh? 1326 01:27:42,841 --> 01:27:45,134 And Mrs. Kathleen Monahan. 1327 01:27:46,345 --> 01:27:48,221 Oh, no! 1329 01:27:50,307 --> 01:27:51,724 My god! It's mother. 1330 01:27:51,934 --> 01:27:55,061 She's back from the dead. She's better than Houdini. 1331 01:27:55,270 --> 01:27:57,647 I've never felt better in my life! 1332 01:27:57,856 --> 01:27:59,565 Grandma, did you bring me anything? 1333 01:27:59,775 --> 01:28:01,150 A hat just like mine. 1334 01:28:01,401 --> 01:28:04,570 You never felt better? You were in a plane crash. 1335 01:28:04,780 --> 01:28:07,698 - There was no crash. - I made up the whole thing. 1336 01:28:07,908 --> 01:28:08,866 Why? 1337 01:28:09,076 --> 01:28:11,702 Rose, I did it for you and the grandchildren. 1338 01:28:11,912 --> 01:28:15,039 Someone had to stop Monty's debauchery. 1339 01:28:15,249 --> 01:28:17,166 He was going to hell in a hand basket. 1340 01:28:17,376 --> 01:28:18,167 Yes, quite true. 1341 01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:20,169 - And to test you as well. - You failed! 1342 01:28:20,379 --> 01:28:23,172 - I'll kill her. I'll kill her! - Take it easy. 1343 01:28:23,382 --> 01:28:25,258 I'll kill her! I'll kill her! 1344 01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:27,260 I'll kill her! Let me go! 1345 01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:31,055 Boy, you got some nerve still being alive. 1346 01:28:31,640 --> 01:28:33,557 I went through this whole thing for nothin'? 1347 01:28:33,767 --> 01:28:38,646 No, not for nothing, Monty. You proved yourself to me. 1348 01:28:40,691 --> 01:28:44,110 And to make sure that you stay on the straight and narrow, 1349 01:28:44,319 --> 01:28:47,196 I'm moving in with you. 1350 01:28:53,954 --> 01:28:56,372 (STATELY MUSIC) 1351 01:29:05,215 --> 01:29:08,092 - What's for dessert? - Spumoni, miss. 1352 01:29:08,719 --> 01:29:10,594 Your favorite, Monty. 1353 01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:14,098 Shrimpton, none for Mr. Capuletti. 1354 01:29:14,308 --> 01:29:16,600 - Right, mom. - And Shrimpton. 1355 01:29:16,810 --> 01:29:19,145 Mr. Capuletti is skipping the coffee too. 1356 01:29:19,354 --> 01:29:21,689 It'll keep me awake, right, mom? 1357 01:29:21,898 --> 01:29:23,024 Right, dear. 1358 01:29:23,233 --> 01:29:27,653 And Shrimpton, I noticed a bottle of beer in the refrigerator. 1359 01:29:27,863 --> 01:29:30,448 - Get rid of it. - Tsk, tsk, tsk. 1360 01:29:31,533 --> 01:29:33,034 Right again, mom. 1361 01:29:34,286 --> 01:29:37,121 Well, I guess that's it for me. 1362 01:29:37,331 --> 01:29:41,208 I think I'll go out and walk off all these vegetables. 1363 01:29:41,752 --> 01:29:46,213 And after that it's bedtime. 1364 01:29:47,257 --> 01:29:49,759 - Good night, honey. - Good night, sweetheart. 1365 01:29:51,261 --> 01:29:53,637 - And Shrimpton? - Yes, sir. 1366 01:29:53,847 --> 01:29:56,640 You better get rid of that glazed fruit too. It's fattening. 1367 01:29:56,850 --> 01:29:58,517 Certainly, sir. 1368 01:30:00,020 --> 01:30:02,688 - Good night, Belinda. - Good night, daddy. 1369 01:30:04,274 --> 01:30:05,649 Good night, mom. 1370 01:30:08,320 --> 01:30:12,782 Hey, mom. That perfume is driving me crazy. 1371 01:30:14,826 --> 01:30:17,745 I think I married Rose to get to you, huh? 1372 01:30:24,294 --> 01:30:26,253 Good night, all. 1373 01:30:28,507 --> 01:30:32,218 Rose, he's a changed man. 1374 01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:37,098 - Finally, you've got a good marriage. - We had a good marriage before. 1375 01:30:37,307 --> 01:30:41,310 Yes, but now you're married to a human being. 1376 01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:45,731 I don't mind telling you, I'm proud of what I did. 1377 01:30:46,441 --> 01:30:48,234 It wasn't easy, 1378 01:30:48,443 --> 01:30:51,904 but now I've got him under control! 1379 01:30:52,864 --> 01:30:54,657 Where's the pizza? I'm starving! 1380 01:30:54,866 --> 01:30:57,701 - Monty, where you been? - We're keeping it warm for you. 1381 01:30:58,870 --> 01:31:01,580 Wait a minute. Don't get grease on the cards. 1382 01:31:03,834 --> 01:31:05,793 Gimme the red pepper, will you? 1383 01:31:07,337 --> 01:31:08,754 Gimme a napkin. 1384 01:31:08,964 --> 01:31:11,799 - So what'd you tell her tonight? - Tonight? 1385 01:31:12,342 --> 01:31:14,760 I told her her perfume is driving me crazy. 1387 01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:20,808 Then I told her I married Rose to get to her. 1389 01:31:22,894 --> 01:31:24,770 Gimme a beer. 1390 01:31:24,980 --> 01:31:27,982 My mother-in-law. For years I wouldn't kiss her face, 1391 01:31:28,191 --> 01:31:29,859 I ended up kissin' her ass. 1394 01:31:36,908 --> 01:31:38,868 All right 1395 01:31:47,919 --> 01:31:51,297 You don't have to talk all night 1396 01:31:51,506 --> 01:31:54,300 I'm a man who can't say no 1397 01:31:54,509 --> 01:31:57,803 You don't have to twist my arm 1398 01:31:58,013 --> 01:32:00,306 Just point me where you wanna go 1399 01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:03,350 Take me to the action take me to the track 1400 01:32:03,894 --> 01:32:06,312 Take me to a party if they're bettin' in the back 1401 01:32:06,521 --> 01:32:10,316 I've been workin' all my life can't afford to wait 1402 01:32:10,525 --> 01:32:13,319 Let me call my wife so I can tell her I'll be late 1403 01:32:13,528 --> 01:32:16,322 I want the easy mmm 1404 01:32:16,531 --> 01:32:19,325 Easy, easy money 1405 01:32:19,534 --> 01:32:22,286 I could get lucky 1406 01:32:22,496 --> 01:32:25,873 Oh, things could go right 1407 01:32:26,416 --> 01:32:29,293 I want the easy 1408 01:32:29,503 --> 01:32:32,338 Easy, easy money 1409 01:32:32,547 --> 01:32:35,841 Maybe this one time 1410 01:32:36,051 --> 01:32:38,886 Maybe tonight 1411 01:32:43,975 --> 01:32:47,353 You don't have to try too hard 1412 01:32:47,562 --> 01:32:50,856 I don't need a song and dance 1413 01:32:51,066 --> 01:32:53,943 I don't need an invitation 1414 01:32:54,486 --> 01:32:56,362 If you've got a game of chance 1415 01:32:56,571 --> 01:32:59,865 Take me to the tables take me to the fights 1416 01:33:00,075 --> 01:33:02,868 Run me like the numbers roll me like the dice 1417 01:33:03,078 --> 01:33:06,330 When you're countin' on a killin' always count me in 1418 01:33:06,540 --> 01:33:09,333 Talk me into losin' just as long as I can win 1419 01:33:09,543 --> 01:33:12,378 I want the easy 1420 01:33:12,587 --> 01:33:15,381 Easy, easy money 1421 01:33:15,590 --> 01:33:18,384 I want the good times 1422 01:33:18,593 --> 01:33:21,929 Oh, I never had 1423 01:33:22,472 --> 01:33:24,890 I want the easy 1424 01:33:25,100 --> 01:33:27,977 Mmm, easy money ooh 1425 01:33:28,520 --> 01:33:31,397 Oh, I want the good life 1426 01:33:31,606 --> 01:33:34,400 Mmm, I want it bad 1427 01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:39,405 Easy money you say I fool myself 1428 01:33:39,614 --> 01:33:42,408 But better me than being a fool for someone else 1429 01:33:42,617 --> 01:33:47,871 I got a hot slot machine of a system ready to go 1430 01:33:48,081 --> 01:33:50,874 Easy money 1431 01:33:51,084 --> 01:33:55,421 I got a one-track mind and a good reputation layin' on the line 1432 01:33:55,630 --> 01:33:57,965 I'll either come back a bum or a king 1433 01:33:58,508 --> 01:34:01,927 Baby, I don't know 1434 01:34:02,137 --> 01:34:04,471 Ahh-ha 1435 01:34:10,061 --> 01:34:13,439 You sure don't have to start a fight 1436 01:34:13,648 --> 01:34:16,442 I'm a man who can't say no 1437 01:34:16,651 --> 01:34:20,029 If you got a little risky business 1438 01:34:20,572 --> 01:34:22,448 Just point me where you wanna go 1439 01:34:22,657 --> 01:34:25,951 Take me to the power take me to the heat 1440 01:34:26,161 --> 01:34:28,912 Take me to the cleaners if it's open to the streets 1441 01:34:29,122 --> 01:34:32,416 Something's got to pay off someone's got to break 1442 01:34:32,626 --> 01:34:35,461 Someone's got a fortune that they're begging me to take 1443 01:34:35,670 --> 01:34:38,464 I want the easy 1444 01:34:38,673 --> 01:34:41,467 Easy, easy money 1445 01:34:41,676 --> 01:34:44,970 I could get lucky 1446 01:34:45,180 --> 01:34:47,973 Things could go right 1447 01:34:48,183 --> 01:34:51,477 Oh, I want the easy 1448 01:34:51,686 --> 01:34:54,480 Easy, easy money 1449 01:34:54,689 --> 01:34:57,483 Maybe just this time 1450 01:34:57,692 --> 01:35:00,486 Oh, maybe tonight 1451 01:35:00,695 --> 01:35:03,072 Easy money 1452 01:35:03,615 --> 01:35:06,492 I don't want no hard cash 1453 01:35:06,701 --> 01:35:10,454 I just want the easy money 1454 01:35:10,664 --> 01:35:13,957 Oh, oh, I could get lucky 1455 01:35:14,167 --> 01:35:16,001 Easy money 1456 01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:21,048 Oh, I got to, got to 1457 01:35:21,257 --> 01:35:24,009 Subs by honey 104682