Original subtitles

[strumming guitar]

♪ When it's good ♪

♪ You know I'm down ♪

♪ When I'm feelin' it I want you around ♪

♪ You make me smile Then you make me mad ♪

♪ When I reach out to you And I hear nothing back ♪

♪ Tell me, is it black or white? ♪

♪ Tell me, is it black or white? ♪

♪ Can I trade my day for your night? ♪

-[chuckles] -That was freakin' amazing!

What do you think, babe? Are we ready for the Big Apple?

I still can't believe

that your mom agreed to take you guys.

Well, it's not every day that a big-time music producer

messages you for a meeting.

Okay, less canoodling. More packing.

Mom, Grace isn't even here yet.

Oh, uh... didn't you get her text? She's not coming.

[both] What?

Wait, so it's just gonna be

-you and Jonah... -[sighs heavily]

...alone in a hotel room?

Yeah, yeah. We'll... We'll make it work. Don't worry.

We can, uh... We can use our backing track for percussion.

Okay.

Well, now that there's extra room, maybe I can come?

Zig, I wish. But there's no way my mom would be cool

with us sharing a hotel room.

But she doesn't care about Jonah?

Because we're just friends.

[softly] I just don't trust him.

-There's nothing to worry about. -[horn honking]

[Maya sighs]

[engine starts]

-Bye. -[Maya] Bye!

[theme music playing]

♪ Whatever it takes I know I can make it through ♪

♪ And if I hold out I know I can make it through ♪

♪ Be the best, be the best The best that I can be ♪

♪ Whatever it takes ♪

♪ I know I can make it I know I can make it through ♪

[cell phone ringing]

[moaning]

[grunts]

Hello?

[Frankie on phone] Good, you're not dead.

So where the heck are you?

[grunts]

Frankie?

Mom said to get you up for school, but you're not here.

So I ask again, where are you?

The place with the grass... and the trees.

If you don't want to tell me where you are, fine.

But what do I tell Mom?

[grunts]

Uh, just tell her that I'm... I'm at school early.

Like anyone would believe that.

Tell her I'm in the shower.

And I'm gonna grab a taxi.

I'll be home soon.

[softly] Come on.

[sighs] Except, I have no wallet.

Check your pants.

Mmm, well, definitely not there.

Then I guess I'll bring you some clean clothes.

[bell ringing]

Okay, so does that make you and Grace

-girl friends or girlfriends? -[scoffs]

Shush! Someone might hear.

Okay, well, if I had an epic kiss with my crush,

I'd shout it from the rooftops.

I don't know what it means,

and I won't until she's back from New York.

[gasps]

Hey.

-Hi. -Oh!

Don't you have some cute boy to flirt with?

-Duh! Yeah, I do. -[chuckles]

You're...

you're not in New York.

My mom freaked out about me going,

'cause I coughed up blood, like, last week.

-I'm sorry. -This disease isn't your fault.

Not for that. For kissing you.

[chuckles nervously] What?

Don't be sorry.

Am I hotter than Jonah? Be honest.

Actually, don't.

Hey, um...

how about a movie?

Like, tonight? [chuckles softly]

My mom works late. We could find something on Netflix?

[chuckles] Great! I love Netflix.

[chuckles]

[horns honking]

[shrieks] I can't believe we're actually here.

-Save your voice. -[sighs]

You're gonna need it for this afternoon.

[Mrs. Matlin] So, who wants to hit the Met?

I can't art. I have to practice. [sighs]

-Here, let me grab that for you. -Thanks.

[Maya sighs]

Should I call the producer "Holland" or "Mr. Jacks"?

I think you should just wow him with your music,

'cause he's not gonna care about the rest.

Well, I'm not gonna wow anyone if I puke on arrival.

[Maya groans]

-Uh, okay, stress barf. -[sighs]

Come on, let's do a mock meeting to calm your nerves.

[sighs] Okay.

[clears throat dramatically]

Lots of girls want to be singer-songwriters.

Do you have what it takes?

Well, um...

I'm a hard worker, I guess,

-and I-- -[phone vibrates]

Uh...

-[clears throat] As I was saying-- -[phone vibrates]

[sighing]

Wanna take a break?

I should. He just misses me.

-A lot. -I get it. I mean...

-you're smart, you're talented. -[chuckles]

[huffs] And you're not so terrible to look at.

[both chuckling]

But...

I mean, he's...

Well, he's distracting you from what's really important, right?

What, am I just supposed to ignore his feelings?

Well, not forever... But maybe until after our meeting?

Am I the worst person in the world?

Pretty much.

-No, I'm just kidding. -What was that question again?

Do I have what it takes to succeed?

I think you just answered that.

[chuckles]

"To be or not to be."

What is Hamlet considering in this famous speech?

Miles?

-Miles Hollingsworth? -[students giggle]

Uh, hmm?

Uh, Hamlet is depressed.

And he's trying to figure out if hurting himself is a way out.

But it's not.

[bell ringing]

I took notes, but it'll cost you.

Ew! Did you sleep in a dumpster... [coughs]

or two dumpsters?

-What happened last night? -You don't remember?

It was epic.

First, we snuck into this amazing club.

They wouldn't serve us, so you swiped a bottle from the bar.

Then this bouncer tried to stop you.

And then what?

By the time I got out, you were MIA.

-I could've... I could've died. -But you didn't.

Would you rather have spent the night with Mommy...

-and Daddy? -Obviously not.

This'll take the edge off.

What's in here?

Does it matter?

[Miles sighing]

[both sigh]

Hi. Um, I have a meeting with Mr. Jacks.

Holland's in a session with Pink. Is he expecting you?

Well, he messaged me and said,

"Love your song. If you're ever in town, we should meet,"

and I said, "I'll be here next Thursday."

You know that's not how you make a meeting, right?

-Name? -Maya Matlin.

The girl who wrote "Not Okay."

Sit down.

[sighs] Okay, just deep breaths. It'll be fine.

[receptionist] There's a Maya Matlin here. Did you wanna see her?

[door opening]

-Maya? -Uh, Mr. Jacks.

[stuttering] I mean...

-No, Holland's fine. -Yeah.

I'm stuck in studio all day,

but if you're still here tomorrow, I can squeeze you in.

Thank you. Um, I'm so excited to play "Not Okay" for you.

Oh, I've already heard that one. You got something new?

Uh, is there a specific sound you're looking for or...

Just do you.

[sighs heavily]

[Grace] I heard there's this amazing doc about a California cult.

Oh, sounds super romantic.

Is that what you want?

A romance?

Don't you?

[door slides open]

Girls suck.

[sighs] I think you're in the wrong place.

I've texted Maya, like, 20 times.

No response. Not even read receipts.

[sighing] I'm starting to get worried.

About her safety, or whether she's getting busy with Jonah?

I know that she's sharing a room,

but do you think she's sharing a bed?

Who cares? They're just friends.

Yeah, but he's a guy, and she's a girl.

So if it was two girls, it would be different?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you and Grace aren't gonna suddenly start making out.

[Zig sighs]

You're right. [sighs]

Maya and Jonah are probably mashing faces right now.

Mom in the same room. Kinky.

Look, you guys are supposed to make me feel better.

Then maybe you should go find a more sympathetic ear.

Yeah, well, Tiny's on a date and you're all I've got.

What are we watching?

[slurring] Are you hungry? I'm hungry.

Please, please tell me you're hungry.

This food is filled with toxins.

-[both laugh] -[Miles] Great, more toxins for me.

I will have an enchilada...

[chuckling] and, uh... nachos.

That's definitely nachos, yeah.

You're not welcome here.

[chuckles]

Ooh. Role reversal.

-Fun. -You can go, too.

What's your damage?

You sent junk pics to my girlfriend last night.

[chuckles] I did not.

Who's your girlfriend?

-Lola. -[both laugh]

[chuckles] Oh, I look really good in this one.

Get that out of my face, loser.

Oh, you don't want to see what has your girlfriend

so hot and bothered?

Come on, you know you want to.

Look, just get out of here, okay?

Or you're holding out for the real thing, huh?

[giggles] Prepare to be amazed.

[all gasp]

I wonder if he'll remember that.

[movie playing on TV]

[knocking on door]

[door opens]

Mom's home, which means this party is over.

[sighs]

All right, later.

I'm gonna go stare at my phone.

Guess I'll see you at school.

Unless you wanna sleep over?

[chuckles softly]

[machine whirring]

[inhaling deeply]

You all done?

[machine stops]

Yeah.

Uh, my mom left you those.

Thanks.

Should I change here?

Uh, I... I can turn around.

No, don't.

Unless you want to.

Why is this so weird? [sighs]

Because we're friends and I want it to stay that way,

no matter what happens.

Does that mean you want something to happen?

I've never felt this close to anyone.

What if it messes everything up?

I won't let it.

Maybe let's forget about the pajamas. [chuckles]

[beeping]

Well, it was a minor concussion, but you should look out for complications.

Thanks. It's been swell.

Uh, not so fast. You're a minor. You need someone to sign you out.

Well, my folks are at some fancy benefit. They're very hard to reach.

Miles, are you okay?

I'm his mother. Is he okay?

His head is fine,

but I have some concerns about his blood work.

What type of concerns?

Let's find a room to talk.

So, do you think your mom will let us have another sleepover tonight?

[chuckles]

Oh, you're right. We should keep things undercover.

Secrets are super sexy. [chuckles softly]

What's wrong? Did your mom hear us?

You know you're, like, one of the only people I trust.

-Stop sugarcoating. -But...

This...

We can't work.

[scoffs] You're scared. I knew you would be.

That's not the problem.

Then what is?

I'm not gay.

I'm sorry. I tried for you.

You're my best friend.

That was my first time with a girl. Maybe we did it wrong.

What part didn't you like?

All of it.

[breath trembles]

[stammering] No. No, I was there.

I know what I felt. I know you felt it, too.

Name one guy you've ever liked.

Zig.

This is so stupid. I'm going home.

Please, cooperate with the doctor.

Fine.

You want to know if I'm trying to kill myself?

-The answer's yes. -Oh, my God.

I'm so depressed, I can barely get out of bed anymore.

[breathing heavily] But there's one thing that might help...

and I think it's Clonazepam.

Do you know what was in your system when you came to the hospital?

Benzos, sleeping pills, alcohol, MDMA, horse tranquilizer...

-[Mrs. Hollingsworth] Horse tranquilizer? -No, no, no, no.

There's no way. You must have the wrong chart.

You ever buy a pill at a club? It's a common additive.

This is so much worse than I thought. We have to get you better.

The drugs make me better.

Miles, they're going to kill you.

Then you'll just have the happy little family you've always wanted, right?

That's not true.

Yes, it is. You don't care.

-I do. -No, you don't.

You brought Dad back.

[breath trembling]

And when I'm around him, I can't breathe,

and I tell you that all the time and you don't listen to me.

[voice breaking] And these drugs are the only way that I can make anything better.

[panting] And they're the only way that I have control.

But they're the ones controlling you.

Look at your leg.

That shaking is a withdrawal symptom. It's your body demanding more drugs.

And the more you take, the more you need,

until one day, you'll take too much.

So I ask again...

Do you wanna die?

[stuttering] I can't stop. I don't...

I don't know what to do.

-[Mrs. Hollingsworth] Just accept help. -[sobs]

[breath trembles] Please.

[sniffling]

♪ Tell me, is it black or white? ♪

♪ Tell me, is it black or white? ♪

♪ Tell me, is it black or white? ♪

Thanks for coming all this way.

Uh, we have other songs.

Do you want something faster? Slower?

Well, you're the artist. You tell me.

[stutters] I don't understand.

That track you played, hundreds could write it.

And more could sing it, better than you.

So I'm not good enough?

You wrote one track that cut through.

It's not enough.

[sighs]

It was nice meeting you.

Geez, what a jerk.

[Maya sighs]

We have a few hours left in New York. What do you want to do?

Just leave me alone with my humiliation, okay?

No, not okay.

Don't say I'm overreacting.

-You have one great song. -Yeah, what if I'm just a one-hit wonder?

Mmm, let's not get ahead of yourself. Your song's not a hit yet.

[chuckles]

So, may I interest you in some sightseeing?

Actually, there is something that I'd like to do.

Yeah? Okay, but first...

-Come on, come on. -[scoffs]

-[chuckles] -[shutter clicks]

So, this is before

and... after.

Can you believe it's still me?

Um, we pretty much chose an image

that reflected my slender frame as much as possible,

so that we could emphasize the changes made.

In the end, we're left with a bodybuild cover photo,

which is almost 100% artificial.

Thank you very much.

[bell ringing]

Whoa!

Watch where you're going!

[sighs]

Hey! Don't you dare ignore me! I have feelings!

Should I get Grace?

No, I just need to get out of here.

Whose face is on that bottle?

Just another person who will never love me the way that I love them.

Yeah, well, we should form a club.

No way. Maya is head over heels.

Yeah, well, then, why won't she return my texts?

It's been a day. She's had time to snap pics,

and fave some things, so I know she's not dead.

I just keep picturing Jonah and her together.

It's only a matter of time. Maya's going places and I'm not.

Nothing hurts more than imagining the girl you love with someone else.

[Zig sighs heavily]

[phone clicks]

I know a girl that's wanted you forever.

Yeah, who?

Whoa! What're you doing?

Maya's probably getting hot and heavy with Jonah.

I am here and I want you.

Wait, whoa. Are you sure?

Yes.

[Mrs. Hollingsworth] Eat some breakfast.

We need to leave for the appointment soon.

Ooh! Did you have these flown in from Paris?

What are you doing?

I was worried. I came to check in on you.

Is that allowed?

Well, I'm... I'm fine. You can go, now.

And skip out on this spread?

There are, like, eight types of jam.

-Please, Esme. -[scoffs] What is your problem?

Uh... I'm an addict.

[chuckles] Is that what some quack told you?

I'm meeting with an addiction counselor today, and...

he'll help me stop.

And...

I can't hang out with you anymore.

[scoffs] Because I'm an enabler?

Yeah, I know the psychobabble.

I wanna get better.

Don't be such a square.

-[sighs] -Whatever.

You have no friends and a crap family.

You'll come back.

And when you do...

[inhales] who knows where I'll be?

-[indistinct announcement on PA] -[indistinct chatter]

[sighs] I understand if you don't want to be partners anymore.

I just hope that one day we can still be friends.

I emailed you my part.

This is a video, not a JPEG.

[sighing angrily]

-Hey, you. -You're back?

Yeah, I texted you, like, a million times from the road.

My screen is busted.

-[sighs] Oh! -My phone's in the shop.

I thought you were mad at me because I turned my phone off.

I was just so stressed and I had to focus.

[inhaling deeply] But, I'm here now.

[sighs] Oh! And I got you something in New York.

[Maya singing on phone] ♪ I'll get close to you ♪

♪ I will, yes, I will ♪

♪ Yes, I will ♪

♪ And when the time is right ♪

♪ I will let you know ♪

-♪ How I feel... ♪ -It's about us.

-You hate it, don't you? -Oh, no, no.

-[sighs] -[stammers] I love it.

[song continues playing]

And I love you.

I just don't want anything to ever come between us, okay?

What could?

[song continues playing]

[mellow song playing]