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1
00:02:18,414 --> 00:02:22,117
When I decided at the last minute
to take a year off before college,
2
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,514
I told my mom it was because I had no
idea what I wanted to do with my life.
3
00:02:27,414 --> 00:02:30,017
She pretended she didn't
want to strangle me.
4
00:02:30,945 --> 00:02:36,090
Sweetie, that's the whole point of college:
is to figure out what you want to do,
5
00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:39,226
to find out what you're good at,
to discover your bliss.
6
00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,529
But what if I don't discover
it until junior year,
7
00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:45,633
and it has nothing to do with the classes
I've already taken? I'd have to start over.
8
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:48,569
Or what if my bliss is something
I don't even need college for?
9
00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:57,945
I'm not going to lie to you, Katie.
I'm concerned.
10
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:02,550
- Why? Tons of kids defer.
- You're not tons of kids.
11
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:07,354
You're one complicated girl who's been
through a lot. You need structure.
12
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:11,525
Are you saying that college is the
only place that I can get structure?
13
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,361
Because if so, Miss Matsuo...
14
00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,329
- Katie.
- I'm serious.
15
00:03:15,429 --> 00:03:18,664
Here's something.
Why don't you start a diary.
16
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,671
- Or a blog?
- Why?
17
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:28,809
It's a daily time commitment.
It'll keep your verbal skills sharp.
18
00:03:28,909 --> 00:03:31,310
And it'll force you to be introspective.
19
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,481
What a wonderful idea.
20
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:42,821
I was just lying to
escape her vegan breath.
21
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:51,964
At least that's what I
thought at the time.
22
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,435
But I guess not.
23
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:59,040
What the fuck? Here I am blogging.
24
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:03,211
Anyway, I'm going to start
by telling you a secret,
25
00:04:03,311 --> 00:04:05,646
something I've never told anyone.
26
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:09,850
The real reason I'm taking a
year off is because of a guy,
27
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,653
an older one. A man.
28
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,089
And he's the most amazing...
29
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:17,458
Shit, got to go.
30
00:04:40,332 --> 00:04:41,482
Boo!
31
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:45,886
Boo!
32
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,765
Boo!
33
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,238
- You're late.
- You noticed.
34
00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:07,775
Dan and I have one strict rule:
35
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:10,377
we don't talk about his girlfriend...
36
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:12,513
or my boyfriend.
37
00:05:14,612 --> 00:05:17,218
Dan teaches film at a really
good community college,
38
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,887
so we only watch serious cinema.
39
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:25,390
I feel smarter just being around him.
40
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:36,067
One of the best things about my year off
is that I get to continue my education.
41
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:02,794
He never asks for anything in return.
42
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,666
He just wants me to relax and enjoy it.
43
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,554
Dad?
44
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:44,471
- You always hold back in the end.
- I'm sorry.
45
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:47,505
It's your loss.
46
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:05,292
Have... I got some news.
47
00:07:05,692 --> 00:07:08,960
I'm moving closer to campus.
48
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:11,932
Why?
49
00:07:12,532 --> 00:07:17,304
Look at this dump. It's ridiculous.
Looks like I'm still in grad school.
50
00:07:18,004 --> 00:07:20,107
Well, did you already find a place?
51
00:07:20,207 --> 00:07:23,844
Yeah. It's great. And they'll
let me move in on the 15th.
52
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,712
Well, where is it?
53
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,580
It's like a half-hour away.
54
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,854
We're not going to see each other again.
55
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,458
Of course we will. Come on,
don't be so melodramatic.
56
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,928
No, you're not going to want to come pick
me up and then drive me to your place,
57
00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:46,333
and then back to mine a few hours later.
That's like two hours in the car.
58
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,970
And someone might see us.
Come on, you know I'm right.
59
00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:53,874
If my dad would just buy
me that car he promised me,
60
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:58,111
- then I could... I could come see you...
- Listen, listen, listen, listen.
61
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:03,314
We're going to work it out, okay?
We'll work it out. I promise you.
62
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,819
Come on.
63
00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:33,978
Shit.
64
00:08:42,556 --> 00:08:46,859
I'd never touched him before.
I was always too scared.
65
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,429
He came so hard.
66
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:56,036
He'll definitely call me after he moves.
67
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,506
So don't you think it's time
to stop loafing and get a job?
68
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:02,643
I'm not loafing, I'm blogging.
69
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,846
- Since when?
- Last week.
70
00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:10,027
- What's your blog called?
- Not telling. And you won't find out,
71
00:09:10,127 --> 00:09:13,621
because I use a fake name and I'm
changing lots of little details of my life.
72
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:15,990
Why?
73
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,958
Because if there was even
a one in googol chance
74
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,095
of anyone figuring out it was me,
then I wouldn't tell the truth.
75
00:09:21,195 --> 00:09:24,198
And what's the point of having a
blog if you're just going to lie?
76
00:09:25,533 --> 00:09:27,332
Hey, babe.
77
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:32,439
Why do you call her that? She's 46.
78
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:39,380
What is on the agenda for today?
79
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:43,984
TV? Internet? Maybe a good, long nap?
80
00:09:45,027 --> 00:09:48,122
- I'm getting a job.
- The grill or the fryer?
81
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:54,759
Neither. Something stimulating
that pays extremely well.
82
00:09:56,096 --> 00:10:01,099
This may come as a shock to you, kiddo,
but the economy is in the toilet.
83
00:10:02,135 --> 00:10:05,105
There's 20 applicants for every job.
84
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:09,107
You underestimate my powers, Earthling.
85
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,530
Today, a reader sent me one of
those annoying self quizzes,
86
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:16,682
which are just a sad excuse
to talk about yourself.
87
00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:20,721
What's your favourite number?
88
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:24,825
69. Sometimes 96.
89
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:28,474
Have you ever kissed
someone and regretted it? Yes.
90
00:10:28,974 --> 00:10:32,989
Tom Lovelace, who was 16 when I was 11.
91
00:10:33,089 --> 00:10:37,460
My fist tongue kiss.
It felt like a worm.
92
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,357
Do you believe in the horoscope?
93
00:10:57,457 --> 00:11:01,261
No. Sagittarians never do.
94
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,334
Stop right there!
95
00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:12,136
Don't even put it up.
Have I got the girl for you?
96
00:11:13,474 --> 00:11:15,507
Is that so?
97
00:11:21,815 --> 00:11:23,748
Come in.
98
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:31,358
- What happened to Jonas?
- I bought him out, lock stock and barrel.
99
00:11:32,058 --> 00:11:34,194
You have so many more books.
100
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:37,030
I used to buy my dad his birthday
and Christmas presents here.
101
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:42,077
He's a sports writer. Well,
he used to be. Now he just drinks.
102
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,310
Sam Johnson's Book Shop.
Nice to meet you, Sam.
103
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:54,080
No, I'm not Sam.
He died a long time ago.
104
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:58,185
Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote the
first great English dictionary.
105
00:11:58,285 --> 00:12:01,853
- Is he your hero?
- Among many.
106
00:12:02,523 --> 00:12:05,891
- Are you a lover of books?
- I could be.
107
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:11,498
- Glenn Warburg.
- Katie Kampenfelt.
108
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,501
Three days a week, $12 an hour.
109
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:18,274
And it's butt-easy.
All I have to do is help customers
110
00:12:18,374 --> 00:12:20,006
while Glenn runs the online business.
111
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:25,345
Sweetie, I got to hand it to you,
that was fast. You did it.
112
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,714
Yup, I am indeed impressive.
113
00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,452
- Does Glenn have a last name?
- Warburg.
114
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,153
Is he married?
115
00:12:33,653 --> 00:12:37,658
Why? You think he only hired me so he
could have sexual intercourse with me?
116
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,624
It crossed my mind.
117
00:12:41,295 --> 00:12:44,195
Your mustache is heinous.
118
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:56,209
I've only been blogging for 16 days,
119
00:12:56,309 --> 00:13:01,714
but I already get between 450
and 500 discreet visitors a day.
120
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,685
The most popular search terms
that people use to find me
121
00:13:04,785 --> 00:13:06,787
are "high school," "college,"
122
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:10,991
"blond," "sex," and "oral sex,"
123
00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:15,793
which means many of you
are lonely, disgusting pigs.
124
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,533
I also know a lot of you
are just normal people
125
00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:22,768
who want to read the true-life
confessions of a tee...
126
00:13:22,898 --> 00:13:23,904
What?
127
00:13:24,004 --> 00:13:26,140
- It's me.
- Come in.
128
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:29,276
Boyfriend invasion. Stand by.
129
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:33,246
- I thought you had band practice.
- Casey had a midterm.
130
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,386
You know, Wong,
I don't know which is worse.
131
00:13:39,486 --> 00:13:41,988
Watching you eat or
watching you at work.
132
00:13:42,688 --> 00:13:45,325
I'm perfectly able to
do anything I want...
133
00:13:46,225 --> 00:13:48,795
None of you care that I cheat on Rory,
134
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:53,631
but for some reason you hate that it's
with an older guy who has a girlfriend.
135
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:58,872
Well, I had no clue about Martina until
after the third time Dan and I fooled around,
136
00:13:58,972 --> 00:14:02,206
and I found her birth
control in a bathroom drawer.
137
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:06,179
By then it was too late.
138
00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,013
I was in it.
139
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,073
Hold on...
140
00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:37,310
Oh, God.
141
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:43,948
Oh, wow, you're so hot.
142
00:14:46,386 --> 00:14:49,856
Oh, God, I love you.
Oh, God. Oh!
143
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:51,892
Oh, God...
144
00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,101
I think I just came.
145
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:06,271
Was I supposed to pull out?
146
00:15:08,708 --> 00:15:11,711
- Six o'clock.
- Hey, so it is.
147
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:16,714
$288 cash with a two-dollar
bill for good luck.
148
00:15:17,618 --> 00:15:18,852
Good first week?
149
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:23,190
Amazing. And I almost finished Who
Has Changed and Who Is Dead.
150
00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:26,360
- Thank you for the recommendation.
- You're very welcome.
151
00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,674
You know, it's the first book I've
read since second grade that was...
152
00:15:29,774 --> 00:15:31,331
You know, like, wasn't for school.
153
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,867
Yeah, that's the way it
is these days, I guess.
154
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,470
- So sad.
- I know.
155
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:39,670
I can't imagine life
without great books.
156
00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,909
It's as close to the angels as I get.
157
00:15:43,909 --> 00:15:44,845
What do you mean?
158
00:15:46,263 --> 00:15:49,714
Well, for me, reading is
a transcendent experience.
159
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:56,957
What does that mean, exactly?
160
00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,659
What, "transcendence"?
161
00:15:59,759 --> 00:16:04,565
It means beyond the physical realm.
It's a spiritual experience.
162
00:16:04,665 --> 00:16:07,676
I get it from great literature,
great paintings,
163
00:16:07,776 --> 00:16:09,985
classical music, all the arts.
164
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,808
What about classical art films,
like Fellini or Buñuel?
165
00:16:15,208 --> 00:16:16,741
Sure.
166
00:16:17,945 --> 00:16:19,679
Cool.
167
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:42,936
Dan didn't even call to say goodbye.
168
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,443
If I don't get a car now,
I'll never see him again.
169
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:04,321
Look at the size of that
blue-gummed dummy.
170
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,869
So, what's up?
171
00:17:16,169 --> 00:17:21,441
Well, it's been really, really hard ever
since all my friends left to go to college.
172
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:26,146
And I just... I've been sitting at
home all the time. I have no ride.
173
00:17:26,246 --> 00:17:29,649
- I can't get anywhere. And I'm just...
- Tell the witch to buy you a car.
174
00:17:29,749 --> 00:17:32,552
No, she won't do it.
She thinks I'm so much like you,
175
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:35,388
she thinks I'm just going to drink
a bunch of beers and hit a tree.
176
00:17:35,488 --> 00:17:38,024
Sanctimonious cunt.
177
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:40,894
If she had her way we'd
all be drinking holy water.
178
00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:43,196
Out of the pope's jockstrap.
179
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:46,900
- Did you come up with that?
- No, you did.
180
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,969
No wonder.
181
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,473
What about peckerhead?
Why can't he squire you around?
182
00:17:54,473 --> 00:17:57,277
Well, because we broke up last night.
183
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:58,710
How come?
184
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,385
He's been pressuring me to,
you know, like, go all the way,
185
00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:08,519
and I'm just not ready yet.
186
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:14,959
Shit. Must have done something right.
187
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,271
Daddy...
188
00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:31,008
my whole life, you said you would
buy me a car when I graduated.
189
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:34,947
Please keep your promise.
190
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,252
Please, Daddy, just this once. Please.
191
00:18:38,352 --> 00:18:42,053
And you promised me you'd
stay my little angel forever.
192
00:18:43,189 --> 00:18:44,689
You'd never grow up.
193
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,162
Now look at you.
194
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:53,598
Tits and everything.
195
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:10,717
Hey, Joel Seidler here.
I'm not sure if you remember me.
196
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:14,287
I'm tall and muscular,
and I played football.
197
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,789
No, wait, that's my diametric opposite.
198
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:20,326
I'm the short, depressed Jew
who tutored you in math.
199
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:24,498
Anyway, I'm a senior at Princeton now,
and I'm taking a semester off.
200
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:29,567
I heard that you were around.
Call me or text me, whatever.
201
00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:34,807
I'm back, bitch!
202
00:19:38,244 --> 00:19:41,181
Thank God Jade's home from
visiting her grandmother in Greece.
203
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:44,984
Jade's pretty much my
only female friend now.
204
00:19:46,384 --> 00:19:50,590
There was a rumor last year that Jade
and I were dykes. I have no idea why.
205
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:53,226
- I want your tits!
- I want your ass!
206
00:19:53,326 --> 00:19:54,727
I want your skin!
207
00:19:54,827 --> 00:19:57,497
- I want your ass!
- I want your ass!
208
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:18,485
If he lived here, let's face it.
We'd end up hating each other's guts.
209
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,620
This way it stays perfect forever.
210
00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:27,260
You fall in love every
time you go on vacation.
211
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,298
I know. I'm a rock star.
212
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:35,135
I met him like my second day in Corfu.
213
00:20:35,235 --> 00:20:39,038
- I told you Dan moved away, right?
- Yeah.
214
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,239
He hasn't called me since.
It's humiliating.
215
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:47,113
You didn't fool around
with him, did you?
216
00:20:47,213 --> 00:20:51,517
No! Hello!
He's 32 and he has a girlfriend.
217
00:20:51,717 --> 00:20:54,854
And you have fucking Rory.
218
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:16,576
I can't believe you're
all really out there.
219
00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:19,610
I'm used to only being
famous in my own mind.
220
00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:29,488
- What are you doing?
- Oh, nothing. Just wasting time.
221
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:34,361
- Come with me.
- What's wrong?
222
00:21:34,461 --> 00:21:37,931
Just come. Not you. And put some
clothes on. We have neighbours.
223
00:21:44,536 --> 00:21:46,670
Dad's dead, isn't he?
224
00:21:56,983 --> 00:22:00,787
Bad news, hon. Your starting salary
just didn't past the smell test with me,
225
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:04,455
so I had a friend of mine in law
enforcement do some digging.
226
00:22:06,325 --> 00:22:07,525
Is this your boss?
227
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:15,768
Glenn's a rapist?
228
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:20,406
Sexual assault's a much broader category.
The particulars can vary,
229
00:22:20,806 --> 00:22:25,242
but, yeah, it's basically
sexual contact without consent.
230
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,848
You have to quit your job right away.
231
00:22:29,148 --> 00:22:30,848
What am I supposed to say?
232
00:22:34,986 --> 00:22:36,354
Start with this.
233
00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:40,860
My mom's boyfriend has a partner
at a really big law firm.
234
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:44,685
She thinks it'll look impressive on my
résumé if I ever want to be an attorney,
235
00:22:44,785 --> 00:22:46,997
which I might.
236
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:52,071
- So I really have to quit.
- Oh, I'm so disappointed.
237
00:22:52,471 --> 00:22:55,641
So am I, really.
238
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:59,245
You're a very special girl, Katie,
and a joy to be around.
239
00:22:59,345 --> 00:23:03,280
- And I'll miss you.
- Thanks. You too.
240
00:23:04,484 --> 00:23:06,317
Bye, Glenn.
241
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,758
Do you have some clean underwear?
242
00:23:34,980 --> 00:23:38,718
God, please be Dan.
Please, please, please be Dan.
243
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,651
Please be Dan.
244
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:45,758
- Hello?
- Catherine?
245
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,027
Katie, actually.
246
00:23:48,127 --> 00:23:51,197
I don't know if you remember me.
My name's Paul Spooner.
247
00:23:51,297 --> 00:23:54,365
I interviewed you for
admittance to Tufts.
248
00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:59,939
Oh, no, of course I remember you.
Hello, Paul.
249
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:02,976
Oh, you know, I got in.
I just decided to defer a year.
250
00:24:03,076 --> 00:24:05,912
I know. That's actually why I'm calling.
251
00:24:06,012 --> 00:24:08,948
You don't by any chance
need a job, do you?
252
00:24:09,893 --> 00:24:12,952
That is so, so weird.
253
00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:16,089
I had one until, like, 10 days ago,
but then I had to quit.
254
00:24:16,189 --> 00:24:19,859
My boss turned out to be
a convicted sex offender.
255
00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,261
That's terrible.
256
00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:26,397
Well, even more terrible for
the gal he sexually offended.
257
00:24:28,309 --> 00:24:29,701
Yeah.
258
00:24:31,304 --> 00:24:33,907
I got a new job!
259
00:24:34,707 --> 00:24:38,519
Hey, can I call you back?
That's wonderful. What is it?
260
00:24:38,619 --> 00:24:44,182
I'm a nanny. I get paid $12 an hour,
and I get the use of a car.
261
00:24:45,251 --> 00:24:48,688
A car! I get a Volvo!
I'm getting a Volvo!
262
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:51,557
What? What's with the face?
263
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,826
Well, did you tell him
you have no experience?
264
00:24:54,126 --> 00:24:56,258
- Of course not.
- Honey.
265
00:24:56,358 --> 00:25:01,334
What? What? What?!
Why are you so fucking negative?!
266
00:25:22,154 --> 00:25:24,156
- Catherine.
- Katie.
267
00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:29,595
Oh, my God, you are so cute and tiny.
Come in. I'm Margaret Spooner.
268
00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:32,331
It is a pleasure to meet you.
269
00:25:32,431 --> 00:25:34,767
- You are a godsend.
- Oh, cool.
270
00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:38,905
- You have no idea. I'll show you around.
- This house is amazing.
271
00:25:39,005 --> 00:25:43,376
Oh, thank you. I'm an
interior designer, so I love it.
272
00:25:43,476 --> 00:25:46,893
You just missed Paul. He works for a big
hedge fund, so he travels all the time,
273
00:25:46,993 --> 00:25:49,482
but he'll be back on Friday.
274
00:25:49,982 --> 00:25:53,919
So Paul said that you have
some experience with newborns.
275
00:25:54,019 --> 00:25:56,856
Oh, not much, but yeah.
276
00:25:56,956 --> 00:26:00,093
Well, I had zero when Kyle was born.
277
00:26:00,193 --> 00:26:03,329
Okay, you smell that?
That is newborn poop.
278
00:26:03,429 --> 00:26:08,699
Kind of like butter popcorn when
they're nursing, which Kyle is.
279
00:26:09,502 --> 00:26:10,720
Go ahead. Your first lesson.
280
00:26:10,820 --> 00:26:13,148
- Pick him up.
- Really?
281
00:26:13,248 --> 00:26:15,773
Yeah. Just make sure
you cradle his head.
282
00:26:19,945 --> 00:26:21,645
That's it.
283
00:26:23,682 --> 00:26:25,184
You got it.
284
00:26:28,855 --> 00:26:30,588
Hi.
285
00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:33,259
He likes you.
286
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:35,895
Stop being mad at me for not posting.
287
00:26:35,995 --> 00:26:39,497
I had a very busy week learning
how to take care of a baby.
288
00:26:57,449 --> 00:26:58,851
Hey!
289
00:26:58,951 --> 00:27:03,189
- Hey, super nanny Katherine Kampenfelt.
- How was your flight?
290
00:27:03,289 --> 00:27:07,126
- It was interminable. Where's Maggie?
- Feeding Kyle.
291
00:27:07,326 --> 00:27:08,859
Come on, let's get reacquainted.
292
00:27:12,664 --> 00:27:15,067
So tell me everything.
How was your first week?
293
00:27:15,167 --> 00:27:18,638
It was awesome.
Margaret is such a great teacher.
294
00:27:18,738 --> 00:27:22,575
Kyle is such a good baby.
Way more mature than my boyfriend.
295
00:27:23,743 --> 00:27:26,312
I can't tell you how relieved
I am this worked out.
296
00:27:26,912 --> 00:27:29,613
Remember how much fun
we had at our interview?
297
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:32,718
Honestly, not really.
298
00:27:33,218 --> 00:27:35,221
I thought Tufts was
just my safety school.
299
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,790
Well, that explains
why you were so cocky.
300
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:39,392
Hey.
301
00:27:39,492 --> 00:27:41,427
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
302
00:27:41,827 --> 00:27:43,129
Oh, sorry.
303
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:47,700
- Your pay.
- Yeah, but it's only 3:15.
304
00:27:49,678 --> 00:27:52,571
Okay. Well, I'll see you guys Monday.
305
00:27:52,771 --> 00:27:55,873
Remember when my ass looked like that?
306
00:27:57,309 --> 00:27:58,842
Bye.
307
00:28:00,746 --> 00:28:05,284
Last night was the fifth Friday
in a row that Dan didn't call me.
308
00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:09,455
And since I'm not allowed to call,text or even e-mail him,
309
00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:12,122
there's nothing I can do.
310
00:28:16,395 --> 00:28:20,966
My grandmother once told me, "Never make
a big decision while you're bleeding,
311
00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:25,541
because there's a pretty good chance
you're nuts." But I don't care.
312
00:28:31,343 --> 00:28:32,812
I'm tired of waiting.
313
00:29:02,675 --> 00:29:04,577
- Hi.
- Hey.
314
00:29:05,677 --> 00:29:08,347
- I have an evil scheme.
- My favourite kind.
315
00:29:11,116 --> 00:29:14,086
Oh, God, please answer the phone.
316
00:29:14,186 --> 00:29:17,957
- I did not know you were religious.
- Only when I'm jonesing for a bonesing.
317
00:29:18,057 --> 00:29:19,325
Hello?
318
00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:27,299
Wrong number.
319
00:29:27,399 --> 00:29:31,403
- Okay, what did you just say?
- "Where's the clog that we ate yesterday
320
00:29:31,503 --> 00:29:34,373
at the beauty parlour
train station bathroom?"
321
00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:35,841
- Genius.
- Yeah.
322
00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:38,178
- Wrong numbers always come in twos, right?
- Right.
323
00:29:38,278 --> 00:29:41,248
- I have one more chance. Maybe he'll answer.
- Why does he let her answer the phone?
324
00:29:41,348 --> 00:29:44,116
She grabs it. She's this crazy,
jealous French bitch from hell.
325
00:29:44,216 --> 00:29:46,585
That's why I can't contact him.
326
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:49,889
Hello?
327
00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:52,725
Hey, it's me. Call me when you get this.
It's really important. Okay, bye.
328
00:29:52,825 --> 00:29:54,825
Got it!
329
00:29:56,929 --> 00:29:58,295
Okay.
330
00:30:00,232 --> 00:30:01,298
Want to watch some porn?
331
00:30:04,036 --> 00:30:06,303
Bye, Jadey.
332
00:30:26,859 --> 00:30:28,427
Please don't be mad at me.
333
00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:32,829
I'm not. Martine just ran out
to buy cigarettes. What's up?
334
00:30:37,703 --> 00:30:39,672
I got a car.
335
00:30:40,272 --> 00:30:42,039
A Volvo.
336
00:30:46,578 --> 00:30:48,144
Hello?
337
00:30:49,248 --> 00:30:50,981
Yeah.
338
00:30:52,017 --> 00:30:54,851
I can come see you
whenever you want me to.
339
00:31:05,164 --> 00:31:07,798
Remember what I did last time?
340
00:31:09,935 --> 00:31:11,837
How I touched you?
341
00:31:18,911 --> 00:31:21,547
I want to do it again.
342
00:31:22,795 --> 00:31:25,616
But this time with my mouth.
343
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,953
Let me.
344
00:31:30,423 --> 00:31:32,456
Please.
345
00:31:34,426 --> 00:31:37,560
Wednesday, I'll text you the address.
346
00:31:42,268 --> 00:31:46,705
Paul made a ton of money today
because he predicted a stock would tank.
347
00:31:47,925 --> 00:31:50,641
He brought home Belgium
chocolates and champagne.
348
00:31:55,014 --> 00:31:57,883
All day I was so excited
about my date with Dan
349
00:31:57,983 --> 00:32:00,920
my heart felt like it
was going to explode.
350
00:32:01,220 --> 00:32:03,920
I loved the whole world.
351
00:32:24,076 --> 00:32:26,211
- We need protection.
- No. No, we don't.
352
00:32:27,211 --> 00:32:28,812
Are you sure?
353
00:33:00,879 --> 00:33:02,047
Daddy!
354
00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:15,725
Cigarettes? Since when?
355
00:33:16,662 --> 00:33:18,461
Yeah.
356
00:33:19,331 --> 00:33:22,768
- It was a mistake.
- Oh, come on. One's not going to kill you.
357
00:33:22,868 --> 00:33:26,336
No, I meant that.
358
00:33:26,872 --> 00:33:29,107
Well, my period just ended.
359
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,808
That's not what I meant.
360
00:33:32,178 --> 00:33:36,880
Is it my age? You know my
birthday's at midnight.
361
00:33:43,655 --> 00:33:45,388
Here's the thing.
362
00:33:46,625 --> 00:33:49,521
I care about you a lot, but...
363
00:33:49,621 --> 00:33:52,765
Okay before you dump me,
let me say something.
364
00:33:53,665 --> 00:33:55,901
Martine treats you like shit
365
00:33:56,301 --> 00:33:59,104
and I think you should dump her
and go out with me instead.
366
00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:03,742
Now I know my age freaks you out, but we
can do it in a really cool, healthy way.
367
00:34:03,842 --> 00:34:07,046
I promise. I wouldn't have
to meet any of your friends,
368
00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:11,850
and I wouldn't make you meet my mom.
We could keep the whole thing a secret.
369
00:34:11,950 --> 00:34:17,088
It would just be us right here,
making love and watching art films.
370
00:34:17,188 --> 00:34:22,125
And then when I go away to college,
we break up really maturely.
371
00:34:22,661 --> 00:34:26,097
Stay friends forever. It's perfect.
372
00:34:27,999 --> 00:34:29,866
It would be.
373
00:34:30,702 --> 00:34:32,202
Is that a yes?
374
00:34:34,706 --> 00:34:36,573
I can't.
375
00:34:39,812 --> 00:34:41,111
Why?
376
00:34:42,314 --> 00:34:46,320
Martine and I are engaged.
Since the middle of October.
377
00:34:52,457 --> 00:34:55,561
What do you have with her
that you don't have with me?
378
00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:58,497
- Katie...
- Answer the fucking question.
379
00:34:59,498 --> 00:35:02,969
There are things that... that people
close to each other in age share.
380
00:35:03,069 --> 00:35:06,236
- Like what?
- Martine and I are intellectually compatible.
381
00:35:13,345 --> 00:35:16,515
Why did you have to fuck me
before you told me the truth?
382
00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:18,348
You're such a liar!
383
00:35:28,193 --> 00:35:30,660
So is that why you moved?
384
00:35:31,097 --> 00:35:33,863
So you could live together?
385
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:36,467
She lives here?
386
00:35:57,623 --> 00:36:00,359
- Where were you?
- What happened to your study group?
387
00:36:00,459 --> 00:36:02,127
It ended an hour ago. Where were you?
388
00:36:02,227 --> 00:36:05,097
- A movie!
- Is everything all right?
389
00:36:05,797 --> 00:36:07,764
Have you been crying?
390
00:36:09,601 --> 00:36:11,704
Rory, come down.
391
00:36:12,204 --> 00:36:14,240
- What did you see?
- What?
392
00:36:14,340 --> 00:36:16,575
The name of the movie, what was it?
393
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:20,846
Sex With a Paranoid Guy. It was a comedy.
Now go home, you freak.
394
00:36:20,946 --> 00:36:24,316
- Where were you?
- Fuck you!
395
00:36:26,184 --> 00:36:28,154
- Are you okay?
- He was older.
396
00:36:28,254 --> 00:36:32,524
He's a 32-year-old guy, and I'm
madly in love with him, okay?!
397
00:36:32,624 --> 00:36:34,624
Did you have sex with him?
398
00:36:39,064 --> 00:36:40,531
You did.
399
00:36:44,770 --> 00:36:47,740
Hey, hey, hey! Never hit a girl!
400
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:50,575
Never hit a girl!
Get the hell out of here!
401
00:36:50,675 --> 00:36:53,443
Get out of here!
You want to go to jail?!
402
00:36:57,916 --> 00:37:00,216
You want to tell me what that was about?
403
00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:05,190
Just go, please.
404
00:37:05,290 --> 00:37:08,158
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
405
00:37:11,063 --> 00:37:12,695
Mark?
406
00:37:16,802 --> 00:37:18,435
Thanks.
407
00:37:25,109 --> 00:37:27,880
Turns out they were
engaged the whole time.
408
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:30,713
They moved in together.
409
00:37:32,417 --> 00:37:33,855
I'm such a retard.
410
00:37:34,819 --> 00:37:36,621
Oh, sweetheart,
411
00:37:36,721 --> 00:37:39,525
I wish you would have told me about
it sooner. I could have warned you.
412
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:43,162
Never get mixed up with someone
if there's a third party involved.
413
00:37:43,462 --> 00:37:45,595
You almost always lose.
414
00:37:46,832 --> 00:37:48,200
You didn't sleep with him, did you?
415
00:37:48,300 --> 00:37:51,401
- Of course not.
- I'm sorry. Had to ask.
416
00:37:56,341 --> 00:37:58,744
Aren't you going to wish
me a happy birthday?
417
00:37:59,044 --> 00:38:02,378
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
418
00:38:03,282 --> 00:38:05,415
Happy birthday.
419
00:38:07,886 --> 00:38:11,454
So, what do you want to do to celebrate?
420
00:38:12,124 --> 00:38:14,293
I don't know.
421
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:17,763
Thank God my name's not really Katie
422
00:38:17,863 --> 00:38:21,333
and I'm 100% invisible to the world,
423
00:38:21,433 --> 00:38:24,936
or I'd be so humiliated
by my life right now
424
00:38:25,036 --> 00:38:27,437
I'd probably kill myself.
425
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:34,846
Do you stay friends with your exes?
426
00:38:34,946 --> 00:38:39,985
Only if they can handle us being platonic.
Hasn't happened yet.
427
00:38:40,285 --> 00:38:44,790
Do you pee in swimming pools?
That's the only place.
428
00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:48,093
What's your favourite
thing in your bedroom?
429
00:38:48,393 --> 00:38:49,661
My heart.
430
00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:53,465
What's your least favourite
thing in your bedroom?
431
00:38:53,565 --> 00:38:55,331
My heart.
432
00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,337
What are you listening to these days?
433
00:38:59,437 --> 00:39:02,174
A voice in my head telling me
that something wonderful
434
00:39:02,274 --> 00:39:05,811
is going to happen any minute.
It just has to.
435
00:39:06,711 --> 00:39:10,081
I know the prices are outrageous,
but you just can't beat the organic produce.
436
00:39:10,181 --> 00:39:12,517
- Absolutely. The meats are to die for.
- Yeah. I know.
437
00:39:12,617 --> 00:39:15,421
The other day I got a leg of lamb.
I'm telling you it was this big.
438
00:39:15,521 --> 00:39:18,323
- Hang on one second. Is he down?
- Yup, boom.
439
00:39:18,423 --> 00:39:21,894
Oh, good. Did I mention
you look adorable?
440
00:39:21,994 --> 00:39:26,097
Oh, well, I don't feel it.
Barely got two hours of sleep last night.
441
00:39:26,197 --> 00:39:28,467
Excitement about Santa's arrival,
or boy trouble?
442
00:39:28,567 --> 00:39:29,979
Boy trouble.
443
00:39:30,079 --> 00:39:32,821
Well, good riddance, whoever he is.
You can do better.
444
00:39:33,021 --> 00:39:35,305
- Couldn't do worse.
- I have a nephew.
445
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,511
- Onwards and upwards.
- Cheers.
446
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:43,682
- I thought we were the bad guys.
- Well, no, no, no.
447
00:39:43,782 --> 00:39:47,919
People are people.
You know, red, white, purple.
448
00:39:48,019 --> 00:39:52,624
We're all shit. You know
what else the Apache enjoyed?
449
00:39:53,024 --> 00:39:54,691
Sodomy.
450
00:39:55,494 --> 00:39:58,930
Most of Custer's seventh brigade,
451
00:39:59,030 --> 00:40:04,803
second cavalry, they were found
buck naked, all torn up inside.
452
00:40:04,903 --> 00:40:07,506
Well, Ollie, listen, it's been a riot.
453
00:40:07,606 --> 00:40:10,409
Cornflower blue.
454
00:40:11,309 --> 00:40:13,212
You're a real blond, aren't you?
455
00:40:14,112 --> 00:40:17,115
- Oh, yeah.
- You're real naughty too.
456
00:40:17,215 --> 00:40:21,253
Not tonight. Not... Not...
Not feeling it tonight, turtleneck, okay?
457
00:40:21,353 --> 00:40:23,755
Now let me go before I scream.
458
00:40:31,263 --> 00:40:34,766
You better slow down there.
That stuff will kill you.
459
00:40:34,866 --> 00:40:37,503
I still have to drive home.
You having fun?
460
00:40:37,603 --> 00:40:40,370
At my own party? Not a chance.
461
00:40:45,677 --> 00:40:49,314
We've got to stop meeting like this.
Maggie will get suspicious.
462
00:40:49,514 --> 00:40:51,214
Really?
463
00:41:13,472 --> 00:41:17,509
Hey, Merry Christmas Eve.
It's Joel again.
464
00:41:17,609 --> 00:41:22,948
You never call me back, so I assume you're
either really busy or you hate Jews.
465
00:41:24,549 --> 00:41:27,252
So here's why I keep calling.
466
00:41:27,352 --> 00:41:30,689
The third week of school I tried
to jump out of a dorm window.
467
00:41:30,789 --> 00:41:33,725
And I remember you spent some
time at a mental hospital,
468
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,896
and I thought you might be able to
relate to what I'm going through,
469
00:41:35,996 --> 00:41:38,243
and then we could be friends.
470
00:41:38,343 --> 00:41:39,922
My bad.
471
00:42:19,416 --> 00:42:22,672
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
472
00:42:24,642 --> 00:42:26,308
Oh, Dad.
473
00:42:27,445 --> 00:42:31,714
- What did I do to deserve this?
- You knocked up Mom.
474
00:42:36,249 --> 00:42:41,393
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, these will keep my nuts warm.
475
00:42:43,862 --> 00:42:44,828
Thank you, kid.
476
00:42:58,343 --> 00:42:59,747
How was dinner with your family?
477
00:43:00,946 --> 00:43:03,249
Oh, thank you for asking. My...
478
00:43:03,373 --> 00:43:06,182
Don't ever spend Christmas
Eve with old Hindus.
479
00:43:08,353 --> 00:43:10,555
It was like Gunga Din
meets the Brothers Grimm.
480
00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:13,157
I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
481
00:43:14,993 --> 00:43:16,926
Oh, here.
482
00:43:17,896 --> 00:43:20,163
I know what my baby girl likes.
483
00:43:30,642 --> 00:43:34,611
Thanks. It's beautiful.
484
00:43:42,353 --> 00:43:44,720
I used to be your hero.
485
00:43:48,860 --> 00:43:53,098
- Bet you don't even remember that, do you?
- Not really.
486
00:43:53,998 --> 00:43:58,467
I used to come home from work,
you'd just go crazy.
487
00:43:59,337 --> 00:44:04,040
You'd grab my hand, show me
your latest Barbie or whatever.
488
00:44:06,678 --> 00:44:08,613
Then the witch kicked me out.
489
00:44:09,213 --> 00:44:11,917
Right before Christmas, too.
490
00:44:12,917 --> 00:44:16,119
You latched on like a goddamn pit bull.
491
00:44:17,856 --> 00:44:20,991
- Wouldn't let go.
- Seriously?
492
00:44:22,594 --> 00:44:24,761
Screaming your lungs out.
493
00:44:29,634 --> 00:44:32,569
I can't believe I don't remember that.
494
00:44:38,977 --> 00:44:40,812
Happy New Year!
495
00:44:40,912 --> 00:44:45,183
Right after Rory and I broke up,
Jade found a new boyfriend.
496
00:44:45,283 --> 00:44:47,786
I had no one to celebrate
with last night.
497
00:44:47,886 --> 00:44:51,921
- Honey? It's me.
- Come in.
498
00:45:00,599 --> 00:45:04,466
Oh, God. Dad's dead?
499
00:45:09,140 --> 00:45:12,909
Oh, my God! Congratulations!
500
00:45:14,245 --> 00:45:18,216
I don't even know what to say.
501
00:45:18,316 --> 00:45:20,985
She's marrying the mustache.
502
00:45:21,110 --> 00:45:25,256
- Oh, no!
- I knew you'd understand.
503
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,521
Come over, please.
504
00:45:31,730 --> 00:45:35,033
First I... I got to tell you something.
505
00:45:35,133 --> 00:45:36,966
Shit.
506
00:45:37,602 --> 00:45:39,502
Hold on.
507
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,149
Okay, what?
508
00:45:51,749 --> 00:45:53,252
Okay...
509
00:45:54,052 --> 00:45:58,523
so the night we broke up
I took two sleeping pills.
510
00:45:58,623 --> 00:46:03,726
And Jade was over trolling
on 4chan with my roommates.
511
00:46:04,896 --> 00:46:07,265
So, any resolutions?
512
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:11,135
Well, I found out my boyfriend's
boning my best friend.
513
00:46:11,235 --> 00:46:16,307
- I thought you and your boyfriend broke up.
- We did. Now it's permanent.
514
00:46:16,407 --> 00:46:18,343
I'm never going to speak
to either of them again.
515
00:46:18,443 --> 00:46:21,479
- Smart choice.
- What about you?
516
00:46:21,579 --> 00:46:24,916
I am going back to work part-time.
517
00:46:25,016 --> 00:46:26,851
Wow, really? So soon?
518
00:46:26,951 --> 00:46:30,989
Yeah, well, I feel great. You know,
I got my body back. Why not?
519
00:46:31,389 --> 00:46:36,694
Paul's pissed. If he had his way I'd stay
home forever and be a broodmare.
520
00:46:37,394 --> 00:46:41,299
- Do you know what that is?
- Like a sad horse.
521
00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:45,001
Close, yeah. One that does
nothing but give birth.
522
00:46:46,871 --> 00:46:49,439
- Do you want to have more kids?
- No.
523
00:47:18,336 --> 00:47:21,907
How's it going? Wow,
you're even prettier than I remember.
524
00:47:22,007 --> 00:47:23,808
And you're just as sweet.
525
00:47:25,776 --> 00:47:28,446
I can't believe you finally
decided to hang out with me.
526
00:47:28,546 --> 00:47:30,815
I hope I don't destroy
your social standing.
527
00:47:31,415 --> 00:47:33,149
Stop it.
528
00:47:34,519 --> 00:47:38,954
- What made you finally call me back?
- Your text made me laugh.
529
00:47:40,491 --> 00:47:42,649
- Hey, you're legal, right?
- Yeah.
530
00:47:42,749 --> 00:47:46,128
You should order wine.
They won't card me here if you do it.
531
00:47:54,639 --> 00:47:57,709
So anyway, long story short,
532
00:47:57,909 --> 00:47:59,945
they've been fucking ever since.
533
00:48:01,045 --> 00:48:06,384
- What a roll you're on.
- I know. I have the worst luck with guys.
534
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:09,185
Yeah, I would say the worst taste.
535
00:48:09,485 --> 00:48:12,057
- You're the one who picks them, right?
- Yeah.
536
00:48:12,157 --> 00:48:14,926
Anyway, it seems like your
problems go way beyond guys.
537
00:48:15,026 --> 00:48:19,097
- I mean, you're confused about a lot.
- Well, who isn't at our age?
538
00:48:19,197 --> 00:48:23,868
And that's why the most important
thing is to develop self-awareness.
539
00:48:23,968 --> 00:48:26,037
I'm pretty much the most
fucked-up person I know,
540
00:48:26,137 --> 00:48:29,706
and I'm working really
hard to understand myself.
541
00:48:31,442 --> 00:48:33,077
Are you?
542
00:48:34,077 --> 00:48:38,116
Working really hard to
understand you? Not really.
543
00:48:41,185 --> 00:48:43,018
When you're ready.
544
00:48:53,664 --> 00:48:54,631
Right.
545
00:49:08,146 --> 00:49:09,616
Hello?
546
00:49:11,750 --> 00:49:15,050
Who is this? Affie?
547
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:20,358
What is it? Is it my dad?
Affie, what's wrong?!
548
00:49:20,958 --> 00:49:22,991
You can see him now.
549
00:49:24,862 --> 00:49:29,067
When he fell, an artery in the
sac around his brain ripped open.
550
00:49:29,567 --> 00:49:31,869
They fixed it and stopped the bleeding,
551
00:49:31,969 --> 00:49:34,970
but now all they can do is wait and see.
552
00:50:43,541 --> 00:50:46,577
I used to pour my dad his beers for him.
553
00:50:46,677 --> 00:50:50,849
Even though I get how sad
and inappropriate that is,
554
00:50:50,949 --> 00:50:54,016
at the time it made
me feel really special.
555
00:50:55,920 --> 00:51:00,623
And I'm still an expert at pouring beer
so that the foam doesn't spill over.
556
00:51:05,671 --> 00:51:08,299
Oh, one more... One more thing.
557
00:51:09,299 --> 00:51:13,804
My dad and I, we used to play this
game together when we were watching TV,
558
00:51:13,904 --> 00:51:17,442
and I would ask him if I
could have some of his beer.
559
00:51:17,542 --> 00:51:19,877
So he would reach over to grab his mug,
560
00:51:19,977 --> 00:51:25,316
and when he did I would... flop my
mouth down on his beer belly and...
561
00:51:31,889 --> 00:51:35,259
And he would get all mad,
like I had tricked him.
562
00:51:35,759 --> 00:51:37,228
And...
563
00:51:37,628 --> 00:51:40,629
I would just laugh my head off.
564
00:52:09,027 --> 00:52:10,545
Yes.
565
00:52:13,197 --> 00:52:17,468
Hi, my name's Amy Graham.
I'm a student of Professor Gallo's.
566
00:52:18,168 --> 00:52:20,244
I hate bothering him at home,
but it's...
567
00:52:20,344 --> 00:52:23,107
really, really important,
and I lost his phone number.
568
00:52:23,507 --> 00:52:25,574
Oh, I'm sorry. He's not home.
569
00:52:27,745 --> 00:52:30,714
Darn it. Okay, okay.
570
00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:34,619
But I'll be happy to give him a message.
571
00:52:34,719 --> 00:52:37,121
Will you please tell him there's
been a death in my family,
572
00:52:37,221 --> 00:52:39,141
so I can't finish my paper on time.
573
00:52:39,957 --> 00:52:41,993
Which paper?
574
00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:45,527
The one he assigned.
575
00:52:47,098 --> 00:52:49,867
All right. I'm sorry.
576
00:52:49,967 --> 00:52:54,839
- I mean, for your loss.
- That's okay. Merci.
577
00:52:55,739 --> 00:52:56,872
Bye.
578
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:18,648
During the week of work I missed,
579
00:53:18,748 --> 00:53:23,534
Margaret kept her resolution and got a
job redoing a zillionaire's media room.
580
00:53:23,634 --> 00:53:28,103
For the next month she'll be
working weekdays from 9:00 to 3:00.
581
00:53:31,309 --> 00:53:34,111
So Kyle doesn't get too
traumatized by the change,
582
00:53:34,211 --> 00:53:37,179
Paul's going to eat
lunch at home every day.
583
00:53:44,721 --> 00:53:47,058
Well, I can't believe how okay you seem.
584
00:53:47,758 --> 00:53:49,961
He had cirrhosis for a long time.
585
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:53,131
I knew he was going to die.
I was pretty much prepared for it.
586
00:53:54,398 --> 00:53:55,731
The arrogance of youth.
587
00:53:56,935 --> 00:53:58,369
Don't say that.
588
00:53:59,369 --> 00:54:03,076
No, no, I mean it as a compliment.
An ironic one,
589
00:54:03,176 --> 00:54:06,311
but if young people weren't so arrogant,
they'd really be in trouble.
590
00:54:06,911 --> 00:54:08,346
What do you mean?
591
00:54:08,446 --> 00:54:11,281
Look, life kicks your ass.
If young people knew it,
592
00:54:11,381 --> 00:54:13,484
they'd crawl into the basement with
a crack pipe and never come out.
593
00:54:14,484 --> 00:54:17,689
Wouldn't take risks or
fight for lost causes,
594
00:54:17,789 --> 00:54:20,289
or even start a career.
I mean, why bother, right?
595
00:54:23,094 --> 00:54:26,693
You think you're okay with
your dad's death? Not a chance.
596
00:54:26,793 --> 00:54:29,200
It won't even hit you that he's
really gone until you're in your 30's,
597
00:54:29,300 --> 00:54:32,436
which happens to be the
most difficult decade of life.
598
00:54:32,936 --> 00:54:35,834
That is when the shit
really hits the fan.
599
00:54:41,679 --> 00:54:43,181
What are you grinning at?
600
00:54:43,981 --> 00:54:45,683
You.
601
00:54:46,383 --> 00:54:47,599
Tell me more.
602
00:54:49,320 --> 00:54:51,187
I want to know everything.
603
00:54:53,224 --> 00:54:55,690
- Hey, you haven't quit yet.
- Not yet.
604
00:54:55,790 --> 00:54:57,399
- See you later. Thanks.
- Yeah!
605
00:54:57,499 --> 00:55:00,100
Hey, hey. Hi, sweetie.
I'll be right back.
606
00:55:00,732 --> 00:55:03,799
Here's your salary,
and a little something extra.
607
00:55:04,936 --> 00:55:07,670
- Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.
608
00:55:19,183 --> 00:55:20,551
"Dear Miss Kampenfelt,
609
00:55:20,651 --> 00:55:23,555
"since you expressed a desire today
to learn more about adult life,
610
00:55:23,655 --> 00:55:26,023
"here are 10 bitter truths
for your reading pleasure.
611
00:55:26,623 --> 00:55:30,261
"Number one:
Complete honesty is a complete lie.
612
00:55:30,361 --> 00:55:34,598
"Two: marriage is sacred only to those
who have never been married.
613
00:55:34,798 --> 00:55:38,870
"Three: money is more integral
to happiness than romantic love."
614
00:55:39,970 --> 00:55:43,341
"Four: every human
being is a contradiction.
615
00:55:43,441 --> 00:55:45,710
"Some hide it better than others.
616
00:55:45,810 --> 00:55:49,380
"Five: never underestimate
the tendency of human beings
617
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:52,250
"to act contrary to
their own best interests.
618
00:55:52,350 --> 00:55:56,053
"Six: were it not for the
fear of getting caught,
619
00:55:56,153 --> 00:55:58,522
"most of us would behave like savages.
620
00:55:58,622 --> 00:56:03,586
"Seven: all sex has consequences,
most of them dire."
621
00:56:05,896 --> 00:56:11,268
"The older you get, the faster time
flies until months pass like days.
622
00:56:11,668 --> 00:56:14,705
"There's no such thing as
living happily ever after.
623
00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:18,039
Everything gets worse."
624
00:56:20,578 --> 00:56:21,879
He wants to fuck you.
625
00:56:22,728 --> 00:56:27,118
He has, like, the most perfect,
beautiful wife on the planet.
626
00:56:27,318 --> 00:56:31,656
And that's why it's not going to happen?
Because he doesn't want to? What about you?
627
00:56:31,756 --> 00:56:35,393
I would never do that.
You don't know me.
628
00:56:35,993 --> 00:56:39,430
- You're self-centered.
- Ooh, news flash.
629
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:43,501
- You're promiscuous.
- I can't help it.
630
00:56:43,801 --> 00:56:48,005
It feels good. And plus,
I owe it to my fans.
631
00:56:48,805 --> 00:56:52,407
- You're an incipient alcoholic.
- No, I'm not.
632
00:56:54,278 --> 00:56:55,913
Hey, what does that mean again?
633
00:56:56,013 --> 00:56:59,282
It means you're not an addict yet,
but you're well on the way.
634
00:56:59,554 --> 00:57:01,116
Okay.
635
00:57:03,521 --> 00:57:05,555
I want to ask you something,
636
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:10,548
You don't have to answer, but...
637
00:57:10,848 --> 00:57:13,798
were you molested when you were little?
638
00:57:13,898 --> 00:57:18,567
Because you remind me of a friend
of mine from school. She was abused.
639
00:57:27,144 --> 00:57:28,924
A little.
640
00:57:31,115 --> 00:57:34,737
I mean, it just depends on...
641
00:57:39,323 --> 00:57:41,891
The summer before my
parents got divorced,
642
00:57:41,991 --> 00:57:45,562
I was like 6. My dad had
disconnected the cable.
643
00:57:45,662 --> 00:57:50,034
He was going to write this book
on worst sports injures in history,
644
00:57:50,134 --> 00:57:53,237
- and he didn't want to be distracted.
- That's a good idea for a book.
645
00:57:53,337 --> 00:57:55,739
Well, he never wrote it.
646
00:57:56,239 --> 00:58:01,044
Anyway, since we had no TV, my mom sent
me next door to watch at the Solagee's.
647
00:58:01,144 --> 00:58:07,417
And Mrs. Solagee would always make me
these yummy prune Hungarian cookies,
648
00:58:07,517 --> 00:58:10,085
and I'd get to watch cartoons.
649
00:58:12,189 --> 00:58:17,962
But then when we were alone,
Mr. Solagee would put me on his lap,
650
00:58:18,562 --> 00:58:22,130
and he'd touch me.
651
00:58:23,601 --> 00:58:26,235
He would squirm around the whole time.
652
00:58:31,775 --> 00:58:33,408
God.
653
00:58:34,812 --> 00:58:38,513
You know, it actually felt kind of good.
654
00:58:50,961 --> 00:58:53,428
My friend Joel thinks I need therapy.
655
00:58:54,465 --> 00:58:58,702
- What do you think?
- He's probably right.
656
00:58:59,102 --> 00:59:00,736
I agree.
657
00:59:01,939 --> 00:59:04,306
Surprise, surprise.
658
00:59:05,976 --> 00:59:10,143
- I'll find you someone good.
- A lady, okay?
659
00:59:17,287 --> 00:59:21,991
Juliet Is Dead wants to know what Joel meant
when he said I was in a mental hospital.
660
00:59:24,062 --> 00:59:28,033
When I was 13 I stole a bunch of my
mom's Ambiens and climbed to the window
661
00:59:28,133 --> 00:59:31,902
of a 26-year-old lifeguard
I had a massive crush on.
662
00:59:32,002 --> 00:59:33,730
When he told me to go home,
663
00:59:33,830 --> 00:59:37,973
I started crying hysterically
and locked myself in his bathroom.
664
00:59:40,444 --> 00:59:43,213
They kept me in the psych
ward for three days.
665
00:59:43,313 --> 00:59:46,348
Been pretty much
anti-therapy ever since.
666
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:52,405
And now I'm thinking that
maybe what Mr. Solagee did...
667
00:59:52,805 --> 00:59:55,659
really affected me.
668
00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:58,727
Maybe that's why I like
older guys so much.
669
00:59:59,497 --> 01:00:03,134
I just always that it was
because my dad was such a dick.
670
01:00:06,402 --> 01:00:09,104
I'd like you to write a
letter to Mr. Solagee.
671
01:00:11,442 --> 01:00:14,109
He's really old. He's probably dead.
672
01:00:15,246 --> 01:00:16,986
It's not for him.
673
01:00:21,385 --> 01:00:24,321
Kyle had night terrors again last night.
Even after I picked him up,
674
01:00:24,421 --> 01:00:27,691
he cried for another half-hour.
Scared the shit out of us.
675
01:00:27,791 --> 01:00:29,293
Well, what do you think's causing it?
676
01:00:29,893 --> 01:00:32,129
Well, I think it's that
Maggie went back to work,
677
01:00:32,229 --> 01:00:35,630
but she doesn't want to
hear about that, of course.
678
01:00:36,467 --> 01:00:38,602
So, what are you going to do?
679
01:00:40,170 --> 01:00:44,375
Just give him some extra love,
and hope that she comes to her senses.
680
01:00:45,810 --> 01:00:48,045
She's so lucky to be married to you.
681
01:00:48,145 --> 01:00:52,948
I don't know why she wants to go back
to work so quickly. It's ridiculous.
682
01:00:56,020 --> 01:01:00,155
You know what? It's not
till tomorrow, but what the hell?
683
01:01:08,065 --> 01:01:10,165
Happy Valentine's Day.
684
01:01:14,805 --> 01:01:18,142
It's a locket. Until you
have a kid of your own,
685
01:01:18,242 --> 01:01:21,643
I figured a picture of
Kyle will have to do.
686
01:01:23,247 --> 01:01:25,513
Thank you. I love it.
687
01:01:42,165 --> 01:01:44,000
God, you're beautiful.
688
01:01:47,103 --> 01:01:51,375
So yeah, I mostly just hang out with
this kid, Joel Seidler. He's kind of funny.
689
01:01:51,475 --> 01:01:53,177
Look who it is. Hey, honey.
690
01:01:53,277 --> 01:01:55,546
What time did she say the
samples were coming?
691
01:01:56,346 --> 01:02:00,050
No, no, no, no, no. I need something
way more specific than that.
692
01:02:00,150 --> 01:02:03,252
Yes, please call back.
All right, fine. I'll call you back.
693
01:02:13,930 --> 01:02:16,834
- Well, well.
- Hey...
694
01:02:17,780 --> 01:02:20,802
Martine's out of town for the weekend.
695
01:02:27,444 --> 01:02:31,780
Hey, why didn't you
tell me your dad died?
696
01:02:33,050 --> 01:02:34,919
Because I hate your guts.
697
01:02:35,019 --> 01:02:36,687
Oh, God!
698
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:42,760
Okay, slow down, slow down.
I want it to last longer.
699
01:02:42,860 --> 01:02:46,996
You can do it. You can. You can.
700
01:03:15,993 --> 01:03:18,228
That was a big mistake.
701
01:03:18,728 --> 01:03:20,195
Yeah.
702
01:03:22,066 --> 01:03:23,932
I'm in love...
703
01:03:25,068 --> 01:03:26,637
with somebody else.
704
01:03:27,137 --> 01:03:28,639
Oh, and suddenly age matters?
705
01:03:28,739 --> 01:03:31,932
Yeah, it matters, because I'm 14
years older then you. I'm not 23.
706
01:03:32,032 --> 01:03:34,145
And I'm not married.
And I'm not your boss.
707
01:03:34,245 --> 01:03:37,147
Why are you freaking out?
All we did was kiss.
708
01:03:37,247 --> 01:03:39,617
Oh, stop. Stop pretending like
you don't know what's going on.
709
01:03:39,717 --> 01:03:41,585
That's why he hired you.
710
01:03:41,785 --> 01:03:44,620
- He's a fucking scumbag.
- And what are you?
711
01:03:49,626 --> 01:03:51,510
You need help.
712
01:03:52,262 --> 01:03:54,965
I know. I'm in therapy.
713
01:03:55,065 --> 01:03:59,770
Good, well, hope you tell
him all about Spooner.
714
01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:03,841
It's a she. And I didn't.
715
01:04:04,541 --> 01:04:06,608
But I told her all about you.
716
01:04:07,945 --> 01:04:11,015
That's great. Thanks.
717
01:04:12,415 --> 01:04:15,986
Well, you can tell her this next time
you go: you can tell her that I ended it.
718
01:04:16,086 --> 01:04:18,922
No more. We're not doing this
ever again, you understand?
719
01:04:19,022 --> 01:04:23,060
One of us has to be strong enough to end it.
Since I'm the adult I guess it'll be me.
720
01:04:23,160 --> 01:04:24,993
Don't call me again either.
721
01:04:41,245 --> 01:04:42,146
Good morning!
722
01:04:42,246 --> 01:04:45,716
Gotcha. Okay, so you...
So you don't like that.
723
01:04:45,816 --> 01:04:48,385
I thought I didn't want it to happen,
724
01:04:48,999 --> 01:04:51,185
but maybe I did.
725
01:05:41,438 --> 01:05:44,505
When I'm with him I feel so special.
726
01:05:50,881 --> 01:05:53,214
I forget everything.
727
01:06:12,035 --> 01:06:13,623
Dear Dr. Sherman, first off,
728
01:06:13,723 --> 01:06:18,008
I want to thank you for making time in
your busy schedule to see my darling Katie.
729
01:06:18,108 --> 01:06:21,478
She really is something, isn't she?
One of a kind, all right.
730
01:06:21,778 --> 01:06:23,880
As much as she enjoyed
your session together,
731
01:06:23,980 --> 01:06:26,950
I have decided to send her
to a different therapist,
732
01:06:27,050 --> 01:06:31,443
one who specializes in young women
and their many food-body issues,
733
01:06:31,543 --> 01:06:35,693
a national epidemic.
Thank you so much for your time.
734
01:06:35,893 --> 01:06:38,762
Yours truly...
735
01:06:39,462 --> 01:06:42,964
Caroline Kampenfelt.
736
01:06:54,311 --> 01:06:57,147
Katie, Joel.
737
01:06:57,547 --> 01:06:59,113
Hi.
738
01:07:00,317 --> 01:07:03,086
I just wanted to tell you
that you're a monster.
739
01:07:03,686 --> 01:07:07,255
I've been a really good friend to you,
and this is how you repay me?
740
01:07:07,355 --> 01:07:09,724
By never calling me back.
741
01:07:10,294 --> 01:07:13,058
Besides me, how many straight
guys are there in the whole world
742
01:07:13,158 --> 01:07:17,332
who like you enough to be your friend
without there being anything sexual?
743
01:07:18,902 --> 01:07:20,904
I'll give you a hint:
744
01:07:21,004 --> 01:07:22,870
zero.
745
01:07:23,874 --> 01:07:28,409
I'm only three years older than you,
but I'm so much smarter it's ridiculous.
746
01:07:29,746 --> 01:07:31,980
You have no inner life.
747
01:07:48,231 --> 01:07:50,990
Why was I crying so hard?
748
01:07:51,290 --> 01:07:53,835
Who cares what Joel thought of me?
749
01:07:57,444 --> 01:07:59,368
And then I thought,
750
01:07:59,468 --> 01:08:03,811
Oh, wait, maybe it's just hormones.
751
01:08:25,669 --> 01:08:27,368
No, thanks.
752
01:08:28,905 --> 01:08:30,707
Okay.
753
01:08:31,807 --> 01:08:33,590
What's going on?
754
01:08:34,090 --> 01:08:37,581
- What do you mean?
- You never say no.
755
01:08:45,088 --> 01:08:46,621
Why not?
756
01:08:51,127 --> 01:08:52,827
I'm pregnant.
757
01:08:56,633 --> 01:08:59,236
- Holy shit.
- Stop.
758
01:08:59,336 --> 01:09:03,638
I'm not keeping it. And there's
a decent chance it's not yours.
759
01:09:04,641 --> 01:09:08,145
- Then why'd you even tell me?
- Because you wanted me to get high.
760
01:09:08,245 --> 01:09:11,913
Yeah, well, if you're just going
to kill it, why not get high?
761
01:09:13,083 --> 01:09:15,383
I might change my mind.
762
01:09:20,690 --> 01:09:22,357
Maybe.
763
01:09:23,627 --> 01:09:25,626
Oh, man.
764
01:09:27,597 --> 01:09:30,033
How many others are there?
765
01:09:30,133 --> 01:09:31,629
Two.
766
01:09:35,939 --> 01:09:38,239
You're a fucking whore.
767
01:09:39,676 --> 01:09:41,778
You're not even worth it!
768
01:09:43,013 --> 01:09:46,015
- Hello?
- I'm sorry, I might have the wrong number.
769
01:09:46,115 --> 01:09:50,487
- I'm looking for Joel Seidler.
- Who is this?
770
01:09:50,787 --> 01:09:54,257
- Katie Kampenfelt.
- Oh, Katie.
771
01:09:55,578 --> 01:09:57,594
You know he's clinically
depressed, right?
772
01:09:57,694 --> 01:10:02,332
Of course.
We talk about it all the time.
773
01:10:02,432 --> 01:10:04,768
Well, he made another attempt.
774
01:10:04,868 --> 01:10:08,603
Pills this time. Very female.
775
01:10:09,272 --> 01:10:13,276
I was the one who found him.
Worst moment of my life.
776
01:10:13,576 --> 01:10:15,412
Is he okay?
777
01:10:15,988 --> 01:10:20,517
Physically, yes.
Mentally, who the hell knows?
778
01:10:20,917 --> 01:10:24,220
- He's at St. Jude's.
- Can I visit him?
779
01:10:24,320 --> 01:10:28,356
No, honey we got to get his
chemistry straightened out first.
780
01:10:29,826 --> 01:10:32,862
Will you let me know when
he can have visitors?
781
01:10:32,962 --> 01:10:37,031
- Of course. Absolutely.
- Thank you.
782
01:10:50,180 --> 01:10:52,013
I'm so happy you finally called.
783
01:12:06,756 --> 01:12:09,524
I can't believe I miss him so much.
784
01:12:16,533 --> 01:12:20,334
If only he had left that
silly card where it was.
785
01:12:21,638 --> 01:12:23,238
What? What silly card?
786
01:12:25,408 --> 01:12:27,977
I wasn't sure whether to tell you.
787
01:12:28,277 --> 01:12:31,112
What? What are you talking about?
788
01:12:43,627 --> 01:12:46,996
One day I was cleaning the house,
789
01:12:47,096 --> 01:12:51,134
and in his closet I found the underwear
you gave him for Christmas.
790
01:12:52,334 --> 01:12:56,039
I put them away and threw
the box in the trash.
791
01:12:56,739 --> 01:13:00,977
Later, when your father found out
what I had done, he was furious at me.
792
01:13:02,277 --> 01:13:06,282
In the middle of the night, he rose.
793
01:13:06,782 --> 01:13:09,018
I asked him where he was going.
794
01:13:09,118 --> 01:13:14,124
He said, "To pick through the garbage,
like your cousins back in Calcutta."
795
01:13:14,624 --> 01:13:16,893
I woke up minutes later.
796
01:13:17,293 --> 01:13:19,960
The room was very cold.
797
01:13:20,263 --> 01:13:22,999
I found the back door wide open.
798
01:13:23,099 --> 01:13:28,302
Your father slipped in the dark and
fell on the way to retrieve your card.
799
01:13:30,540 --> 01:13:33,676
But he never even opened my cards.
800
01:13:33,776 --> 01:13:37,747
- He didn't care about those things.
- That's precisely what I thought.
801
01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:39,747
But no.
802
01:13:50,894 --> 01:13:53,329
I found them in his desk.
803
01:13:54,273 --> 01:13:55,530
All from you.
804
01:15:14,143 --> 01:15:17,213
You have an appointment with
Dr. Sherman Saturday at 10:00.
805
01:15:17,313 --> 01:15:20,517
- I know you only went once.
- What?
806
01:15:21,117 --> 01:15:22,550
That's non-negotiable.
807
01:15:27,635 --> 01:15:30,894
Yay! Happy birthday.
808
01:15:31,327 --> 01:15:32,595
- Thank you. I love it.
- Oh, good.
809
01:15:32,695 --> 01:15:36,266
It's gorgeous. Thank you so much.
Oh, come on. You didn't have to do that.
810
01:15:36,366 --> 01:15:37,901
I know.
811
01:15:38,301 --> 01:15:40,303
Let's see.
812
01:15:41,103 --> 01:15:42,500
Very cute.
813
01:15:43,306 --> 01:15:45,942
- Aww, that's sweet.
- Very sweet. Thank you.
814
01:15:46,042 --> 01:15:49,045
Whoa, looks like somebody
wants to join the party.
815
01:15:49,145 --> 01:15:51,111
Oh, no, no, I'll get him.
816
01:15:56,685 --> 01:15:59,855
So, what's it like being 43?
817
01:16:00,155 --> 01:16:01,758
Hi, honey.
818
01:16:01,858 --> 01:16:03,426
Same as being 18.
819
01:16:03,526 --> 01:16:08,696
Just, when you get up,
your back is a little stiff, that's all.
820
01:16:14,504 --> 01:16:17,173
There we go. Good boy.
821
01:16:22,145 --> 01:16:24,545
Just your back?
822
01:16:34,323 --> 01:16:36,392
This is your real present.
823
01:16:37,093 --> 01:16:38,959
Oh, yeah.
824
01:16:45,068 --> 01:16:48,037
"To Paul on his 43rd birthday.
825
01:16:48,637 --> 01:16:52,875
"Napping on the sofa, your baby
boy napping in his bouncing chair.
826
01:16:52,975 --> 01:16:55,712
"Two separate lives,
lying so close for a while
827
01:16:55,812 --> 01:16:59,315
"until you both wake up and
become father and son again.
828
01:16:59,415 --> 01:17:04,020
"May you always be like this.
"Sleeping close and awaking close,
829
01:17:04,120 --> 01:17:08,456
"sharing nearly all of your lives.
I wish I could share them too."
830
01:17:09,859 --> 01:17:11,427
It's beautiful.
831
01:17:11,527 --> 01:17:13,429
- Really?
- Yeah.
832
01:17:20,203 --> 01:17:21,836
I'm sorry.
833
01:17:36,452 --> 01:17:41,591
It's okay, it's okay.
You understand, right? I'm sorry.
834
01:17:41,691 --> 01:17:43,690
It's going to be okay.
835
01:17:44,060 --> 01:17:45,926
Okay.
836
01:17:48,097 --> 01:17:49,425
Oh, God.
837
01:17:50,599 --> 01:17:55,502
Being pregnant is like being seasick,
and you can't get off the boat.
838
01:17:56,439 --> 01:17:59,527
The smell of bubble gum, deodorant,
839
01:17:59,627 --> 01:18:04,378
scented candles makes me
want to vomit from my toes.
840
01:18:19,228 --> 01:18:20,530
Hello?
841
01:18:20,830 --> 01:18:24,100
I'm pregnant. And the baby's yours.
842
01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:28,004
So I thought maybe before I got
an abortion, you'd like to discuss it.
843
01:18:28,104 --> 01:18:31,474
Dwayne, you know better. You got to
call me during my office hours, okay?
844
01:18:31,574 --> 01:18:33,607
- Good night.
- Wait...
845
01:18:40,450 --> 01:18:45,455
You don't need antidepressants,
because you're not clinically depressed.
846
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:50,426
You're grieving.
There's a world of difference.
847
01:18:51,126 --> 01:18:52,794
Not just for your father.
848
01:19:01,671 --> 01:19:06,542
When I was in the second grade I liked to
gross boys out by eating flies and ants.
849
01:19:06,642 --> 01:19:09,176
Even a daddy longlegs once.
850
01:19:10,813 --> 01:19:13,714
In junior high I stopped taking showers.
851
01:19:15,451 --> 01:19:19,555
My mom would say, Why do you want to
treat your body with such disrespect?"
852
01:19:19,655 --> 01:19:23,958
I had no idea why. But now I do.
853
01:19:25,895 --> 01:19:31,367
You probably thought I forgot, but I
remember everything you did to me.
854
01:19:31,667 --> 01:19:34,270
Sometimes I thought maybe you forgot.
855
01:19:35,270 --> 01:19:38,605
But you were a grown man at
the time you molested me.
856
01:19:40,476 --> 01:19:43,880
If you are a Christian,
and I think you are,
857
01:19:43,980 --> 01:19:46,213
then you know what awaits you.
858
01:19:47,650 --> 01:19:49,602
Yours truly,
859
01:19:49,705 --> 01:19:52,222
little Katie next door.
860
01:20:07,470 --> 01:20:09,005
Katie.
861
01:20:09,105 --> 01:20:12,108
- Miss Matsuo.
- How's the grand experiment?
862
01:20:13,108 --> 01:20:15,912
- Excuse me?
- Life without semesters?
863
01:20:16,412 --> 01:20:19,913
- Oh, it's great.
- Good.
864
01:20:21,550 --> 01:20:25,153
Actually, I just lied to you.
It's really, really hard.
865
01:20:27,590 --> 01:20:28,923
I'm sorry.
866
01:20:30,426 --> 01:20:34,696
That's okay. You know,
I... I think it's getting better.
867
01:20:34,796 --> 01:20:38,866
- I think I'm going to be okay.
- Well, you take care.
868
01:21:05,728 --> 01:21:09,032
Well, if it isn't one of my
favourite people in the world.
869
01:21:09,932 --> 01:21:11,698
That's me.
870
01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:14,668
What's wrong?
871
01:21:15,104 --> 01:21:19,341
- Just wanted to come say hi.
- I don't believe that.
872
01:21:19,741 --> 01:21:22,542
Come on in. Tell me
what's going on with you.
873
01:21:27,350 --> 01:21:29,716
I need some advice.
874
01:21:31,753 --> 01:21:33,520
Okay.
875
01:21:35,191 --> 01:21:38,324
But I want to talk to you
about something first.
876
01:21:41,864 --> 01:21:44,901
I didn't quit for the reason I said.
877
01:21:45,301 --> 01:21:48,736
My mom's fiancé found out that
you're a convicted sex offender.
878
01:21:52,975 --> 01:21:55,028
That occurred to me.
879
01:22:01,183 --> 01:22:02,852
I wanted to tell you the truth,
880
01:22:02,952 --> 01:22:05,855
but my mom would have grounded
me until the end of time.
881
01:22:05,955 --> 01:22:07,890
She was afraid for you.
882
01:22:08,690 --> 01:22:12,727
- Well, hello, I'm a girl.
- But you're here now.
883
01:22:15,597 --> 01:22:17,431
What changed?
884
01:22:18,100 --> 01:22:19,567
I need your wisdom.
885
01:22:21,103 --> 01:22:23,737
But I want to know what your crime was.
886
01:22:25,908 --> 01:22:27,176
Why?
887
01:22:28,176 --> 01:22:30,110
I need to know.
888
01:22:38,521 --> 01:22:40,798
It was a long time ago.
889
01:22:43,759 --> 01:22:45,728
Please?
890
01:22:48,364 --> 01:22:50,630
May I have one of those?
891
01:22:53,002 --> 01:22:54,237
You smoke?
892
01:22:54,337 --> 01:22:57,073
I'm what is known in Nicotine Anonymous
893
01:22:57,173 --> 01:23:01,208
as a periodic. I start and stop.
894
01:23:02,812 --> 01:23:06,947
Right now I'm undecided. Have a seat.
895
01:23:12,154 --> 01:23:13,187
There it is.
896
01:23:20,863 --> 01:23:22,796
Where do I begin?
897
01:23:26,335 --> 01:23:30,740
When I was your age, Katie,
I was a very angry,
898
01:23:31,040 --> 01:23:35,444
nasty piece of work.
I was rarely clean or sober.
899
01:23:35,544 --> 01:23:39,081
I had hair down to here and
a full beard, believe it or not.
900
01:23:39,181 --> 01:23:42,852
And when I was 19 years old
I got busted for selling drugs.
901
01:23:42,952 --> 01:23:47,290
So in order to avoid jail
time I enlisted in the Army.
902
01:23:47,390 --> 01:23:50,259
And I just stayed high all the time.
903
01:23:50,359 --> 01:23:54,797
Well, surprise, surprise, I get busted and
dishonorably discharged and sent home.
904
01:23:54,997 --> 01:23:57,520
And I stayed out of trouble for
905
01:23:57,620 --> 01:24:00,469
a very long time, until one
night I got shit-face drunk
906
01:24:00,569 --> 01:24:04,941
and showed up at the house of a
woman I knew who was a prostitute.
907
01:24:05,041 --> 01:24:07,372
Not one that I could afford,
908
01:24:07,472 --> 01:24:11,507
but she had a soft spot for vets.
And the last thing I remember was,
909
01:24:11,607 --> 01:24:15,417
she pulled out a bottle
of rum and a tab of acid.
910
01:24:15,517 --> 01:24:17,753
So when I woke up in
jail the next morning,
911
01:24:17,853 --> 01:24:22,486
I had no choice but to take her word for
what happened. And the word of the...
912
01:24:22,986 --> 01:24:25,906
emergency room doctor, of course.
913
01:24:27,195 --> 01:24:28,769
I did not...
914
01:24:28,869 --> 01:24:32,869
rape her in the way that most
people would define that term,
915
01:24:32,969 --> 01:24:35,305
but it was a very,
916
01:24:36,005 --> 01:24:37,800
cruel...
917
01:24:38,200 --> 01:24:41,208
sexual assault, and I paid the price.
918
01:24:46,314 --> 01:24:50,519
Now, tell me what's wrong with you.
919
01:24:51,219 --> 01:24:52,753
I'm pregnant.
920
01:25:00,629 --> 01:25:03,866
I'm just... I'm too
young to have a baby.
921
01:25:04,166 --> 01:25:07,103
And I know... I know I
should get an abortion.
922
01:25:07,203 --> 01:25:11,474
But days keep passing by,
and I don't make the appointment.
923
01:25:14,710 --> 01:25:19,048
I just... I think I'm
scared to go alone.
924
01:25:19,448 --> 01:25:20,881
I think it's more than that.
925
01:25:24,019 --> 01:25:28,424
I think you're afraid to go at all.
And for good reason.
926
01:25:29,624 --> 01:25:31,627
Because if you do this,
927
01:25:32,926 --> 01:25:35,831
there's no telling how
you'll feel about it later.
928
01:25:36,431 --> 01:25:38,301
You're afraid you'll regret it.
929
01:25:39,201 --> 01:25:40,601
Maybe.
930
01:25:42,938 --> 01:25:45,001
But, you know,
931
01:25:45,201 --> 01:25:50,110
very few people ever
regret having had a child.
932
01:25:51,247 --> 01:25:53,780
- Is that true?
- Absolutely.
933
01:25:54,150 --> 01:25:57,253
You want some more wisdom?
No extra charge.
934
01:25:58,448 --> 01:26:02,091
- Please.
- Stop drinking and smoking immediately.
935
01:26:03,396 --> 01:26:06,062
And you must never see any
of these men ever again.
936
01:26:06,562 --> 01:26:08,130
Dump Paul?
937
01:26:08,230 --> 01:26:11,700
- No, no, he'll freak out.
- Please, please, Katie, listen to me.
938
01:26:12,859 --> 01:26:16,691
When a married man is having an
affair with a beautiful, young girl,
939
01:26:16,791 --> 01:26:20,768
no matter how much he feels for that girl,
he's always relieved when it's over
940
01:26:20,868 --> 01:26:24,313
because he knows he's been
playing a dangerous game,
941
01:26:24,413 --> 01:26:26,514
and he's lucky to escape alive.
942
01:26:29,251 --> 01:26:32,956
- He doesn't love me?
- Not the way you think.
943
01:26:33,456 --> 01:26:35,591
But if I dump Paul,
944
01:26:36,191 --> 01:26:37,691
then I lose my job.
945
01:26:40,963 --> 01:26:45,000
Well, you could always
come back and work here.
946
01:26:45,500 --> 01:26:47,469
Yeah, my mom would kill me.
947
01:26:47,669 --> 01:26:50,907
You don't need her permission anymore.
You're an adult.
948
01:26:51,107 --> 01:26:53,281
- She'd kick me out of the house...
- You know what?
949
01:26:53,681 --> 01:26:56,646
There just happens to be an
empty room above my garage,
950
01:26:56,746 --> 01:26:59,246
and you're welcome to it, rent-free.
951
01:27:00,750 --> 01:27:03,846
You have to start making your
own decisions, young lady.
952
01:27:04,920 --> 01:27:08,121
Now, come on. I got to close up.
And I'll give you a lift.
953
01:27:10,526 --> 01:27:12,761
Read any good books lately?
954
01:27:12,861 --> 01:27:17,565
No. Not even a bad one.
But I've sort of been writing.
955
01:27:19,368 --> 01:27:22,002
I thought you'd be proud
that I have a blog.
956
01:27:23,205 --> 01:27:26,275
I like that it's creative
and that it's verbal.
957
01:27:26,375 --> 01:27:29,445
What I don't like is that it's public.
958
01:27:29,945 --> 01:27:33,181
Your generation is
addicted to attention.
959
01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:35,618
I know.
960
01:27:35,718 --> 01:27:38,387
It's like we all want to be famous,
even though we're not good at anything.
961
01:27:38,487 --> 01:27:41,924
Precisely.
You sure I can't give you a lift?
962
01:27:42,124 --> 01:27:44,293
I like to walk.
963
01:27:44,993 --> 01:27:48,626
- All right, then.
- All right.
964
01:27:49,098 --> 01:27:52,999
- Thanks for all the advice.
- You're welcome.
965
01:28:13,522 --> 01:28:15,289
Something else you might consider.
966
01:28:17,893 --> 01:28:20,561
I can understand how you feel,
967
01:28:20,661 --> 01:28:23,926
how you think you're not
ready to be a mother. But...
968
01:28:24,336 --> 01:28:27,967
have the baby anyway. What's the harm?
969
01:28:29,772 --> 01:28:33,275
I'll raise it as my own, and you
can come and go as you please.
970
01:28:33,575 --> 01:28:35,876
You can be as much of a
mother as you care to be.
971
01:28:48,424 --> 01:28:51,360
If I don't do what you want me to,
972
01:28:51,860 --> 01:28:54,328
then could I still work
here and live with you?
973
01:28:57,366 --> 01:28:59,564
Of course.
974
01:30:11,006 --> 01:30:14,184
I want to thank everyone who
wrote to tell me I'm a baby killer
975
01:30:14,284 --> 01:30:17,745
even though I haven't even
decided what I'm going to do yet.
976
01:31:02,724 --> 01:31:06,862
If I move in with Glenn,
it's the beginning of my adult life.
977
01:31:07,362 --> 01:31:10,029
On my own for the first time.
978
01:31:11,633 --> 01:31:14,501
It's a perfect time to stop blogging.
979
01:31:21,209 --> 01:31:26,682
Can I do it? Just live without
describing everything I do?
980
01:31:26,882 --> 01:31:31,653
Can I cancel my reality show
and become a better person?
981
01:31:31,753 --> 01:31:35,624
Do human beings ever dream a whole
new life and make it come true?
982
01:31:35,724 --> 01:31:38,825
Or do they always go back
to the way they were?
983
01:31:43,000 --> 01:31:47,870
I guess there's only one way to find out.
Say goodbye to all of you
984
01:31:47,970 --> 01:31:51,705
and just live. Really live.
985
01:31:56,311 --> 01:32:01,082
My name is Carol Granthum.
I'm the mother of Amy Granthum,
986
01:32:01,182 --> 01:32:04,184
whom you know as Katie Kampenfelt.
987
01:32:06,121 --> 01:32:08,957
A few minutes after
posting her final blog,
988
01:32:09,057 --> 01:32:12,461
someone called Amy
from a blocked number.
989
01:32:12,961 --> 01:32:16,763
The call lasted a minute and 38 seconds.
990
01:32:21,303 --> 01:32:25,885
A few minutes later Amy got in her car,
991
01:32:25,985 --> 01:32:29,711
drove away and never came back.
992
01:32:30,111 --> 01:32:32,846
No one's seen or heard from her since.
993
01:32:39,121 --> 01:32:44,593
She hasn't withdrawn any money from
the bank or even used her cell phone.
994
01:32:45,693 --> 01:32:48,597
The police believe the person
who called Amy that night
995
01:32:48,697 --> 01:32:52,432
could very well hold the
key to her whereabouts.
996
01:32:55,404 --> 01:32:58,573
I'm writing because I need your help.
997
01:32:58,873 --> 01:33:01,377
Please keep reading.
998
01:33:02,977 --> 01:33:05,614
I have hired a private investigator.
999
01:33:05,714 --> 01:33:08,851
He's questioned everyone in Amy's life.
1000
01:33:08,951 --> 01:33:11,050
He showed them her blog.
1001
01:33:14,022 --> 01:33:18,057
To hide her identity,
she changed names and details.
1002
01:33:22,798 --> 01:33:27,869
Her boyfriend Aiden says everything
Amy wrote about him is true.
1003
01:33:27,969 --> 01:33:30,605
He has a terrible temper,
1004
01:33:30,905 --> 01:33:34,107
but he insists that he
would never harm her.
1005
01:33:36,578 --> 01:33:42,050
Dan is not actually a college professor.
He manages a video store.
1006
01:33:42,150 --> 01:33:46,588
He says Amy's description of their
relationship was mostly accurate,
1007
01:33:46,688 --> 01:33:49,556
but that she never told
him she was pregnant.
1008
01:33:53,428 --> 01:33:58,533
The couple she works for dispute only
the most important fact of the blog.
1009
01:33:58,933 --> 01:34:02,535
The husband denies any
sexual involvement.
1010
01:34:08,009 --> 01:34:10,445
Jake Seidler is devastated.
1011
01:34:10,545 --> 01:34:14,181
He regrets the cruelty of
his last voice message.
1012
01:34:20,321 --> 01:34:23,859
Amy's best friend Noelle
is a drug addict.
1013
01:34:24,259 --> 01:34:25,968
She has a blocked phone number,
1014
01:34:26,068 --> 01:34:31,130
but she says that she did not call
Amy on the night she disappeared.
1015
01:34:34,202 --> 01:34:36,638
Roy Olson, her boss,
1016
01:34:36,738 --> 01:34:40,375
says word Amy wrote about him is true
1017
01:34:40,475 --> 01:34:44,343
except that he never
offered to raise her child.
1018
01:34:49,451 --> 01:34:53,588
If any of you exchanged
e-mails or phone calls with Amy
1019
01:34:53,688 --> 01:34:57,426
in which she shared any information
that might help us to locate her
1020
01:34:57,526 --> 01:35:00,460
please, please write to me here.
1021
01:35:04,966 --> 01:35:09,237
Amy is a wonderful girl
with a remarkable spirit.
1022
01:35:09,337 --> 01:35:13,139
She's my life, my whole heart.
1023
01:35:16,111 --> 01:35:17,613
Since her disappearance,
1024
01:35:18,113 --> 01:35:23,818
on nights when I can't sleep I
read and reread Amy's postings.
1025
01:35:23,918 --> 01:35:29,091
I read all of your e-mails and comments too,
even the most vicious of them.
1026
01:35:29,791 --> 01:35:34,062
I ask myself: Who would
want to hurt my daughter?
1027
01:35:34,362 --> 01:35:36,432
I hear the answer:
1028
01:35:36,732 --> 01:35:38,831
everyone.
78509
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