Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:18.414 --> 00:02:22.117
When I decided at the last minute
to take a year off before college,
2
00:02:22.643 --> 00:02:26.514
I told my mom it was because I had no
idea what I wanted to do with my life.
3
00:02:27.414 --> 00:02:30.170
She pretended she didn't
want to strangle me.
4
00:02:30.945 --> 00:02:36.900
Sweetie, that's the whole point of college:
is to figure out what you want to do,
5
00:02:36.190 --> 00:02:39.226
to find out what you're good at,
to discover your bliss.
6
00:02:39.326 --> 00:02:41.529
But what if I don't discover
it until junior year,
7
00:02:41.629 --> 00:02:45.633
and it has nothing to do with the classes
I've already taken? I'd have to start over.
8
00:02:45.733 --> 00:02:48.569
Or what if my bliss is something
I don't even need college for?
9
00:02:55.776 --> 00:02:57.945
I'm not going to lie to you, Katie.
I'm concerned.
10
00:02:58.345 --> 00:03:02.550
- Why? Tons of kids defer.
- You're not tons of kids.
11
00:03:02.650 --> 00:03:07.354
You're one complicated girl who's been
through a lot. You need structure.
12
00:03:07.854 --> 00:03:11.525
Are you saying that college is the
only place that I can get structure?
13
00:03:11.625 --> 00:03:13.361
Because if so, Miss Matsuo...
14
00:03:13.461 --> 00:03:15.329
- Katie.
- I'm serious.
15
00:03:15.429 --> 00:03:18.664
Here's something.
Why don't you start a diary.
16
00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:23.671
- Or a blog?
- Why?
17
00:03:24.371 --> 00:03:28.809
It's a daily time commitment.
It'll keep your verbal skills sharp.
18
00:03:28.909 --> 00:03:31.310
And it'll force you to be introspective.
19
00:03:33.180 --> 00:03:35.481
What a wonderful idea.
20
00:03:39.686 --> 00:03:42.821
I was just lying to
escape her vegan breath.
21
00:03:49.296 --> 00:03:51.964
At least that's what I
thought at the time.
22
00:03:53.670 --> 00:03:54.435
But I guess not.
23
00:03:55.350 --> 00:03:59.400
What the fuck? Here I am blogging.
24
00:03:59.240 --> 00:04:03.211
Anyway, I'm going to start
by telling you a secret,
25
00:04:03.311 --> 00:04:05.646
something I've never told anyone.
26
00:04:05.746 --> 00:04:09.850
The real reason I'm taking a
year off is because of a guy,
27
00:04:09.950 --> 00:04:12.653
an older one. A man.
28
00:04:12.753 --> 00:04:15.890
And he's the most amazing...
29
00:04:15.189 --> 00:04:17.458
Shit, got to go.
30
00:04:40.332 --> 00:04:41.482
Boo!
31
00:04:44.785 --> 00:04:45.886
Boo!
32
00:04:59.500 --> 00:05:00.765
Boo!
33
00:05:01.502 --> 00:05:04.238
- You're late.
- You noticed.
34
00:05:05.390 --> 00:05:07.775
Dan and I have one strict rule:
35
00:05:08.750 --> 00:05:10.377
we don't talk about his girlfriend...
36
00:05:11.277 --> 00:05:12.513
or my boyfriend.
37
00:05:14.612 --> 00:05:17.218
Dan teaches film at a really
good community college,
38
00:05:17.818 --> 00:05:20.887
so we only watch serious cinema.
39
00:05:22.523 --> 00:05:25.390
I feel smarter just being around him.
40
00:05:30.631 --> 00:05:36.670
One of the best things about my year off
is that I get to continue my education.
41
00:05:59.960 --> 00:06:02.794
He never asks for anything in return.
42
00:06:04.698 --> 00:06:07.666
He just wants me to relax and enjoy it.
43
00:06:28.550 --> 00:06:29.554
Dad?
44
00:06:41.340 --> 00:06:44.471
- You always hold back in the end.
- I'm sorry.
45
00:06:45.506 --> 00:06:47.505
It's your loss.
46
00:07:01.989 --> 00:07:05.292
Have... I got some news.
47
00:07:05.692 --> 00:07:08.960
I'm moving closer to campus.
48
00:07:10.397 --> 00:07:11.932
Why?
49
00:07:12.532 --> 00:07:17.304
Look at this dump. It's ridiculous.
Looks like I'm still in grad school.
50
00:07:18.400 --> 00:07:20.107
Well, did you already find a place?
51
00:07:20.207 --> 00:07:23.844
Yeah. It's great. And they'll
let me move in on the 15th.
52
00:07:23.944 --> 00:07:25.712
Well, where is it?
53
00:07:26.141 --> 00:07:28.580
It's like a half-hour away.
54
00:07:31.952 --> 00:07:33.854
We're not going to see each other again.
55
00:07:33.954 --> 00:07:37.458
Of course we will. Come on,
don't be so melodramatic.
56
00:07:37.558 --> 00:07:40.928
No, you're not going to want to come pick
me up and then drive me to your place,
57
00:07:41.280 --> 00:07:46.333
and then back to mine a few hours later.
That's like two hours in the car.
58
00:07:46.633 --> 00:07:49.970
And someone might see us.
Come on, you know I'm right.
59
00:07:51.500 --> 00:07:53.874
If my dad would just buy
me that car he promised me,
60
00:07:53.974 --> 00:07:58.111
- then I could... I could come see you...
- Listen, listen, listen, listen.
61
00:07:58.211 --> 00:08:03.314
We're going to work it out, okay?
We'll work it out. I promise you.
62
00:08:05.986 --> 00:08:07.819
Come on.
63
00:08:32.679 --> 00:08:33.978
Shit.
64
00:08:42.556 --> 00:08:46.859
I'd never touched him before.
I was always too scared.
65
00:08:48.562 --> 00:08:51.429
He came so hard.
66
00:08:52.332 --> 00:08:56.360
He'll definitely call me after he moves.
67
00:08:56.136 --> 00:08:59.506
So don't you think it's time
to stop loafing and get a job?
68
00:08:59.606 --> 00:09:02.643
I'm not loafing, I'm blogging.
69
00:09:02.943 --> 00:09:05.846
- Since when?
- Last week.
70
00:09:05.946 --> 00:09:10.270
- What's your blog called?
- Not telling. And you won't find out,
71
00:09:10.127 --> 00:09:13.621
because I use a fake name and I'm
changing lots of little details of my life.
72
00:09:15.122 --> 00:09:15.990
Why?
73
00:09:16.900 --> 00:09:17.958
Because if there was even
a one in googol chance
74
00:09:18.580 --> 00:09:21.950
of anyone figuring out it was me,
then I wouldn't tell the truth.
75
00:09:21.195 --> 00:09:24.198
And what's the point of having a
blog if you're just going to lie?
76
00:09:25.533 --> 00:09:27.332
Hey, babe.
77
00:09:28.435 --> 00:09:32.439
Why do you call her that? She's 46.
78
00:09:35.876 --> 00:09:39.380
What is on the agenda for today?
79
00:09:39.980 --> 00:09:43.984
TV? Internet? Maybe a good, long nap?
80
00:09:45.270 --> 00:09:48.122
- I'm getting a job.
- The grill or the fryer?
81
00:09:50.290 --> 00:09:54.759
Neither. Something stimulating
that pays extremely well.
82
00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:01.990
This may come as a shock to you, kiddo,
but the economy is in the toilet.
83
00:10:02.135 --> 00:10:05.105
There's 20 applicants for every job.
84
00:10:05.905 --> 00:10:09.107
You underestimate my powers, Earthling.
85
00:10:10.877 --> 00:10:13.530
Today, a reader sent me one of
those annoying self quizzes,
86
00:10:13.630 --> 00:10:16.682
which are just a sad excuse
to talk about yourself.
87
00:10:18.985 --> 00:10:20.721
What's your favourite number?
88
00:10:20.821 --> 00:10:24.825
69. Sometimes 96.
89
00:10:25.250 --> 00:10:28.474
Have you ever kissed
someone and regretted it? Yes.
90
00:10:28.974 --> 00:10:32.989
Tom Lovelace, who was 16 when I was 11.
91
00:10:33.890 --> 00:10:37.460
My fist tongue kiss.
It felt like a worm.
92
00:10:55.355 --> 00:10:57.357
Do you believe in the horoscope?
93
00:10:57.457 --> 00:11:01.261
No. Sagittarians never do.
94
00:11:05.766 --> 00:11:07.334
Stop right there!
95
00:11:07.734 --> 00:11:12.136
Don't even put it up.
Have I got the girl for you?
96
00:11:13.474 --> 00:11:15.507
Is that so?
97
00:11:21.815 --> 00:11:23.748
Come in.
98
00:11:27.587 --> 00:11:31.358
- What happened to Jonas?
- I bought him out, lock stock and barrel.
99
00:11:32.580 --> 00:11:34.194
You have so many more books.
100
00:11:34.394 --> 00:11:37.300
I used to buy my dad his birthday
and Christmas presents here.
101
00:11:37.130 --> 00:11:42.770
He's a sports writer. Well,
he used to be. Now he just drinks.
102
00:11:47.107 --> 00:11:50.310
Sam Johnson's Book Shop.
Nice to meet you, Sam.
103
00:11:50.410 --> 00:11:54.800
No, I'm not Sam.
He died a long time ago.
104
00:11:54.180 --> 00:11:58.185
Dr. Samuel Johnson wrote the
first great English dictionary.
105
00:11:58.285 --> 00:12:01.853
- Is he your hero?
- Among many.
106
00:12:02.523 --> 00:12:05.891
- Are you a lover of books?
- I could be.
107
00:12:08.228 --> 00:12:11.498
- Glenn Warburg.
- Katie Kampenfelt.
108
00:12:11.598 --> 00:12:14.501
Three days a week, $12 an hour.
109
00:12:15.901 --> 00:12:18.274
And it's butt-easy.
All I have to do is help customers
110
00:12:18.374 --> 00:12:20.600
while Glenn runs the online business.
111
00:12:20.106 --> 00:12:25.345
Sweetie, I got to hand it to you,
that was fast. You did it.
112
00:12:25.445 --> 00:12:27.714
Yup, I am indeed impressive.
113
00:12:27.914 --> 00:12:31.452
- Does Glenn have a last name?
- Warburg.
114
00:12:31.852 --> 00:12:33.153
Is he married?
115
00:12:33.653 --> 00:12:37.658
Why? You think he only hired me so he
could have sexual intercourse with me?
116
00:12:38.158 --> 00:12:39.624
It crossed my mind.
117
00:12:41.295 --> 00:12:44.195
Your mustache is heinous.
118
00:12:53.974 --> 00:12:56.209
I've only been blogging for 16 days,
119
00:12:56.309 --> 00:13:01.714
but I already get between 450
and 500 discreet visitors a day.
120
00:13:01.814 --> 00:13:04.685
The most popular search terms
that people use to find me
121
00:13:04.785 --> 00:13:06.787
are "high school," "college,"
122
00:13:06.887 --> 00:13:10.991
"blond," "sex," and "oral sex,"
123
00:13:11.991 --> 00:13:15.793
which means many of you
are lonely, disgusting pigs.
124
00:13:16.797 --> 00:13:19.533
I also know a lot of you
are just normal people
125
00:13:19.733 --> 00:13:22.768
who want to read the true-life
confessions of a tee...
126
00:13:22.898 --> 00:13:23.904
What?
127
00:13:24.400 --> 00:13:26.140
- It's me.
- Come in.
128
00:13:26.240 --> 00:13:29.276
Boyfriend invasion. Stand by.
129
00:13:29.876 --> 00:13:33.246
- I thought you had band practice.
- Casey had a midterm.
130
00:13:37.250 --> 00:13:39.386
You know, Wong,
I don't know which is worse.
131
00:13:39.486 --> 00:13:41.988
Watching you eat or
watching you at work.
132
00:13:42.688 --> 00:13:45.325
I'm perfectly able to
do anything I want...
133
00:13:46.225 --> 00:13:48.795
None of you care that I cheat on Rory,
134
00:13:48.895 --> 00:13:53.631
but for some reason you hate that it's
with an older guy who has a girlfriend.
135
00:13:54.668 --> 00:13:58.872
Well, I had no clue about Martina until
after the third time Dan and I fooled around,
136
00:13:58.972 --> 00:14:02.206
and I found her birth
control in a bathroom drawer.
137
00:14:04.100 --> 00:14:06.179
By then it was too late.
138
00:14:07.147 --> 00:14:09.130
I was in it.
139
00:14:33.606 --> 00:14:35.730
Hold on...
140
00:14:35.609 --> 00:14:37.310
Oh, God.
141
00:14:41.815 --> 00:14:43.948
Oh, wow, you're so hot.
142
00:14:46.386 --> 00:14:49.856
Oh, God, I love you.
Oh, God. Oh!
143
00:14:49.956 --> 00:14:51.892
Oh, God...
144
00:14:59.399 --> 00:15:01.101
I think I just came.
145
00:15:05.205 --> 00:15:06.271
Was I supposed to pull out?
146
00:15:08.708 --> 00:15:11.711
- Six o'clock.
- Hey, so it is.
147
00:15:12.311 --> 00:15:16.714
$288 cash with a two-dollar
bill for good luck.
148
00:15:17.618 --> 00:15:18.852
Good first week?
149
00:15:19.252 --> 00:15:23.190
Amazing. And I almost finished Who
Has Changed and Who Is Dead.
150
00:15:23.690 --> 00:15:26.360
- Thank you for the recommendation.
- You're very welcome.
151
00:15:26.560 --> 00:15:29.674
You know, it's the first book I've
read since second grade that was...
152
00:15:29.774 --> 00:15:31.331
You know, like, wasn't for school.
153
00:15:31.431 --> 00:15:33.867
Yeah, that's the way it
is these days, I guess.
154
00:15:33.967 --> 00:15:36.470
- So sad.
- I know.
155
00:15:36.570 --> 00:15:39.670
I can't imagine life
without great books.
156
00:15:40.640 --> 00:15:42.909
It's as close to the angels as I get.
157
00:15:43.909 --> 00:15:44.845
What do you mean?
158
00:15:46.263 --> 00:15:49.714
Well, for me, reading is
a transcendent experience.
159
00:15:55.880 --> 00:15:56.957
What does that mean, exactly?
160
00:15:57.557 --> 00:15:59.659
What, "transcendence"?
161
00:15:59.759 --> 00:16:04.565
It means beyond the physical realm.
It's a spiritual experience.
162
00:16:04.665 --> 00:16:07.676
I get it from great literature,
great paintings,
163
00:16:07.776 --> 00:16:09.985
classical music, all the arts.
164
00:16:10.870 --> 00:16:14.808
What about classical art films,
like Fellini or Buñuel?
165
00:16:15.208 --> 00:16:16.741
Sure.
166
00:16:17.945 --> 00:16:19.679
Cool.
167
00:16:40.166 --> 00:16:42.936
Dan didn't even call to say goodbye.
168
00:16:46.706 --> 00:16:50.443
If I don't get a car now,
I'll never see him again.
169
00:17:00.987 --> 00:17:04.321
Look at the size of that
blue-gummed dummy.
170
00:17:14.166 --> 00:17:15.869
So, what's up?
171
00:17:16.169 --> 00:17:21.441
Well, it's been really, really hard ever
since all my friends left to go to college.
172
00:17:21.541 --> 00:17:26.146
And I just... I've been sitting at
home all the time. I have no ride.
173
00:17:26.246 --> 00:17:29.649
- I can't get anywhere. And I'm just...
- Tell the witch to buy you a car.
174
00:17:29.749 --> 00:17:32.552
No, she won't do it.
She thinks I'm so much like you,
175
00:17:32.652 --> 00:17:35.388
she thinks I'm just going to drink
a bunch of beers and hit a tree.
176
00:17:35.488 --> 00:17:38.240
Sanctimonious cunt.
177
00:17:38.424 --> 00:17:40.894
If she had her way we'd
all be drinking holy water.
178
00:17:40.994 --> 00:17:43.196
Out of the pope's jockstrap.
179
00:17:43.296 --> 00:17:46.900
- Did you come up with that?
- No, you did.
180
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.969
No wonder.
181
00:17:50.937 --> 00:17:53.473
What about peckerhead?
Why can't he squire you around?
182
00:17:54.473 --> 00:17:57.277
Well, because we broke up last night.
183
00:17:57.677 --> 00:17:58.710
How come?
184
00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:05.385
He's been pressuring me to,
you know, like, go all the way,
185
00:18:05.485 --> 00:18:08.519
and I'm just not ready yet.
186
00:18:10.290 --> 00:18:14.959
Shit. Must have done something right.
187
00:18:23.270 --> 00:18:25.271
Daddy...
188
00:18:25.771 --> 00:18:31.800
my whole life, you said you would
buy me a car when I graduated.
189
00:18:32.378 --> 00:18:34.947
Please keep your promise.
190
00:18:35.470 --> 00:18:38.252
Please, Daddy, just this once. Please.
191
00:18:38.352 --> 00:18:42.530
And you promised me you'd
stay my little angel forever.
192
00:18:43.189 --> 00:18:44.689
You'd never grow up.
193
00:18:48.895 --> 00:18:51.162
Now look at you.
194
00:18:52.232 --> 00:18:53.598
Tits and everything.
195
00:19:05.845 --> 00:19:10.717
Hey, Joel Seidler here.
I'm not sure if you remember me.
196
00:19:10.817 --> 00:19:14.287
I'm tall and muscular,
and I played football.
197
00:19:14.387 --> 00:19:16.789
No, wait, that's my diametric opposite.
198
00:19:16.889 --> 00:19:20.326
I'm the short, depressed Jew
who tutored you in math.
199
00:19:20.426 --> 00:19:24.498
Anyway, I'm a senior at Princeton now,
and I'm taking a semester off.
200
00:19:24.598 --> 00:19:29.567
I heard that you were around.
Call me or text me, whatever.
201
00:19:32.138 --> 00:19:34.807
I'm back, bitch!
202
00:19:38.244 --> 00:19:41.181
Thank God Jade's home from
visiting her grandmother in Greece.
203
00:19:41.781 --> 00:19:44.984
Jade's pretty much my
only female friend now.
204
00:19:46.384 --> 00:19:50.590
There was a rumor last year that Jade
and I were dykes. I have no idea why.
205
00:19:50.690 --> 00:19:53.226
- I want your tits!
- I want your ass!
206
00:19:53.326 --> 00:19:54.727
I want your skin!
207
00:19:54.827 --> 00:19:57.497
- I want your ass!
- I want your ass!
208
00:20:14.470 --> 00:20:18.485
If he lived here, let's face it.
We'd end up hating each other's guts.
209
00:20:18.985 --> 00:20:22.620
This way it stays perfect forever.
210
00:20:24.724 --> 00:20:27.260
You fall in love every
time you go on vacation.
211
00:20:29.562 --> 00:20:32.298
I know. I'm a rock star.
212
00:20:32.398 --> 00:20:35.135
I met him like my second day in Corfu.
213
00:20:35.235 --> 00:20:39.380
- I told you Dan moved away, right?
- Yeah.
214
00:20:39.238 --> 00:20:42.239
He hasn't called me since.
It's humiliating.
215
00:20:44.444 --> 00:20:47.113
You didn't fool around
with him, did you?
216
00:20:47.213 --> 00:20:51.517
No! Hello!
He's 32 and he has a girlfriend.
217
00:20:51.717 --> 00:20:54.854
And you have fucking Rory.
218
00:21:14.106 --> 00:21:16.576
I can't believe you're
all really out there.
219
00:21:16.676 --> 00:21:19.610
I'm used to only being
famous in my own mind.
220
00:21:25.285 --> 00:21:29.488
- What are you doing?
- Oh, nothing. Just wasting time.
221
00:21:31.958 --> 00:21:34.361
- Come with me.
- What's wrong?
222
00:21:34.461 --> 00:21:37.931
Just come. Not you. And put some
clothes on. We have neighbours.
223
00:21:44.536 --> 00:21:46.670
Dad's dead, isn't he?
224
00:21:56.983 --> 00:22:00.787
Bad news, hon. Your starting salary
just didn't past the smell test with me,
225
00:22:00.887 --> 00:22:04.455
so I had a friend of mine in law
enforcement do some digging.
226
00:22:06.325 --> 00:22:07.525
Is this your boss?
227
00:22:14.233 --> 00:22:15.768
Glenn's a rapist?
228
00:22:15.868 --> 00:22:20.406
Sexual assault's a much broader category.
The particulars can vary,
229
00:22:20.806 --> 00:22:25.242
but, yeah, it's basically
sexual contact without consent.
230
00:22:26.546 --> 00:22:28.848
You have to quit your job right away.
231
00:22:29.148 --> 00:22:30.848
What am I supposed to say?
232
00:22:34.986 --> 00:22:36.354
Start with this.
233
00:22:37.924 --> 00:22:40.860
My mom's boyfriend has a partner
at a really big law firm.
234
00:22:40.960 --> 00:22:44.685
She thinks it'll look impressive on my
résumé if I ever want to be an attorney,
235
00:22:44.785 --> 00:22:46.997
which I might.
236
00:22:47.867 --> 00:22:52.710
- So I really have to quit.
- Oh, I'm so disappointed.
237
00:22:52.471 --> 00:22:55.641
So am I, really.
238
00:22:55.941 --> 00:22:59.245
You're a very special girl, Katie,
and a joy to be around.
239
00:22:59.345 --> 00:23:03.280
- And I'll miss you.
- Thanks. You too.
240
00:23:04.484 --> 00:23:06.317
Bye, Glenn.
241
00:23:11.858 --> 00:23:13.758
Do you have some clean underwear?
242
00:23:34.980 --> 00:23:38.718
God, please be Dan.
Please, please, please be Dan.
243
00:23:38.818 --> 00:23:40.651
Please be Dan.
244
00:23:43.220 --> 00:23:45.758
- Hello?
- Catherine?
245
00:23:46.258 --> 00:23:48.270
Katie, actually.
246
00:23:48.127 --> 00:23:51.197
I don't know if you remember me.
My name's Paul Spooner.
247
00:23:51.297 --> 00:23:54.365
I interviewed you for
admittance to Tufts.
248
00:23:55.168 --> 00:23:59.939
Oh, no, of course I remember you.
Hello, Paul.
249
00:24:00.390 --> 00:24:02.976
Oh, you know, I got in.
I just decided to defer a year.
250
00:24:03.760 --> 00:24:05.912
I know. That's actually why I'm calling.
251
00:24:06.120 --> 00:24:08.948
You don't by any chance
need a job, do you?
252
00:24:09.893 --> 00:24:12.952
That is so, so weird.
253
00:24:13.520 --> 00:24:16.890
I had one until, like, 10 days ago,
but then I had to quit.
254
00:24:16.189 --> 00:24:19.859
My boss turned out to be
a convicted sex offender.
255
00:24:20.359 --> 00:24:22.261
That's terrible.
256
00:24:22.361 --> 00:24:26.397
Well, even more terrible for
the gal he sexually offended.
257
00:24:28.309 --> 00:24:29.701
Yeah.
258
00:24:31.304 --> 00:24:33.907
I got a new job!
259
00:24:34.707 --> 00:24:38.519
Hey, can I call you back?
That's wonderful. What is it?
260
00:24:38.619 --> 00:24:44.182
I'm a nanny. I get paid $12 an hour,
and I get the use of a car.
261
00:24:45.251 --> 00:24:48.688
A car! I get a Volvo!
I'm getting a Volvo!
262
00:24:49.188 --> 00:24:51.557
What? What's with the face?
263
00:24:51.657 --> 00:24:53.826
Well, did you tell him
you have no experience?
264
00:24:54.126 --> 00:24:56.258
- Of course not.
- Honey.
265
00:24:56.358 --> 00:25:01.334
What? What? What?!
Why are you so fucking negative?!
266
00:25:22.154 --> 00:25:24.156
- Catherine.
- Katie.
267
00:25:24.256 --> 00:25:29.595
Oh, my God, you are so cute and tiny.
Come in. I'm Margaret Spooner.
268
00:25:29.895 --> 00:25:32.331
It is a pleasure to meet you.
269
00:25:32.431 --> 00:25:34.767
- You are a godsend.
- Oh, cool.
270
00:25:34.867 --> 00:25:38.905
- You have no idea. I'll show you around.
- This house is amazing.
271
00:25:39.500 --> 00:25:43.376
Oh, thank you. I'm an
interior designer, so I love it.
272
00:25:43.476 --> 00:25:46.893
You just missed Paul. He works for a big
hedge fund, so he travels all the time,
273
00:25:46.993 --> 00:25:49.482
but he'll be back on Friday.
274
00:25:49.982 --> 00:25:53.919
So Paul said that you have
some experience with newborns.
275
00:25:54.190 --> 00:25:56.856
Oh, not much, but yeah.
276
00:25:56.956 --> 00:26:00.930
Well, I had zero when Kyle was born.
277
00:26:00.193 --> 00:26:03.329
Okay, you smell that?
That is newborn poop.
278
00:26:03.429 --> 00:26:08.699
Kind of like butter popcorn when
they're nursing, which Kyle is.
279
00:26:09.502 --> 00:26:10.720
Go ahead. Your first lesson.
280
00:26:10.820 --> 00:26:13.148
- Pick him up.
- Really?
281
00:26:13.248 --> 00:26:15.773
Yeah. Just make sure
you cradle his head.
282
00:26:19.945 --> 00:26:21.645
That's it.
283
00:26:23.682 --> 00:26:25.184
You got it.
284
00:26:28.855 --> 00:26:30.588
Hi.
285
00:26:31.724 --> 00:26:33.259
He likes you.
286
00:26:33.359 --> 00:26:35.895
Stop being mad at me for not posting.
287
00:26:35.995 --> 00:26:39.497
I had a very busy week learning
how to take care of a baby.
288
00:26:57.449 --> 00:26:58.851
Hey!
289
00:26:58.951 --> 00:27:03.189
- Hey, super nanny Katherine Kampenfelt.
- How was your flight?
290
00:27:03.289 --> 00:27:07.126
- It was interminable. Where's Maggie?
- Feeding Kyle.
291
00:27:07.326 --> 00:27:08.859
Come on, let's get reacquainted.
292
00:27:12.664 --> 00:27:15.670
So tell me everything.
How was your first week?
293
00:27:15.167 --> 00:27:18.638
It was awesome.
Margaret is such a great teacher.
294
00:27:18.738 --> 00:27:22.575
Kyle is such a good baby.
Way more mature than my boyfriend.
295
00:27:23.743 --> 00:27:26.312
I can't tell you how relieved
I am this worked out.
296
00:27:26.912 --> 00:27:29.613
Remember how much fun
we had at our interview?
297
00:27:29.782 --> 00:27:32.718
Honestly, not really.
298
00:27:33.218 --> 00:27:35.221
I thought Tufts was
just my safety school.
299
00:27:35.321 --> 00:27:37.790
Well, that explains
why you were so cocky.
300
00:27:38.190 --> 00:27:39.392
Hey.
301
00:27:39.492 --> 00:27:41.427
- Hi, sweetie.
- Hi.
302
00:27:41.827 --> 00:27:43.129
Oh, sorry.
303
00:27:43.829 --> 00:27:47.700
- Your pay.
- Yeah, but it's only 3:15.
304
00:27:49.678 --> 00:27:52.571
Okay. Well, I'll see you guys Monday.
305
00:27:52.771 --> 00:27:55.873
Remember when my ass looked like that?
306
00:27:57.309 --> 00:27:58.842
Bye.
307
00:28:00.746 --> 00:28:05.284
Last night was the fifth Friday
in a row that Dan didn't call me.
308
00:28:05.684 --> 00:28:09.455
And since I'm not allowed to call,text or even e-mail him,
309
00:28:09.855 --> 00:28:12.122
there's nothing I can do.
310
00:28:16.395 --> 00:28:20.966
My grandmother once told me, "Never make
a big decision while you're bleeding,
311
00:28:21.660 --> 00:28:25.541
because there's a pretty good chance
you're nuts." But I don't care.
312
00:28:31.343 --> 00:28:32.812
I'm tired of waiting.
313
00:29:02.675 --> 00:29:04.577
- Hi.
- Hey.
314
00:29:05.677 --> 00:29:08.347
- I have an evil scheme.
- My favourite kind.
315
00:29:11.116 --> 00:29:14.860
Oh, God, please answer the phone.
316
00:29:14.186 --> 00:29:17.957
- I did not know you were religious.
- Only when I'm jonesing for a bonesing.
317
00:29:18.570 --> 00:29:19.325
Hello?
318
00:29:26.980 --> 00:29:27.299
Wrong number.
319
00:29:27.399 --> 00:29:31.403
- Okay, what did you just say?
- "Where's the clog that we ate yesterday
320
00:29:31.503 --> 00:29:34.373
at the beauty parlour
train station bathroom?"
321
00:29:34.473 --> 00:29:35.841
- Genius.
- Yeah.
322
00:29:35.941 --> 00:29:38.178
- Wrong numbers always come in twos, right?
- Right.
323
00:29:38.278 --> 00:29:41.248
- I have one more chance. Maybe he'll answer.
- Why does he let her answer the phone?
324
00:29:41.348 --> 00:29:44.116
She grabs it. She's this crazy,
jealous French bitch from hell.
325
00:29:44.216 --> 00:29:46.585
That's why I can't contact him.
326
00:29:48.787 --> 00:29:49.889
Hello?
327
00:29:49.989 --> 00:29:52.725
Hey, it's me. Call me when you get this.
It's really important. Okay, bye.
328
00:29:52.825 --> 00:29:54.825
Got it!
329
00:29:56.929 --> 00:29:58.295
Okay.
330
00:30:00.232 --> 00:30:01.298
Want to watch some porn?
331
00:30:04.360 --> 00:30:06.303
Bye, Jadey.
332
00:30:26.859 --> 00:30:28.427
Please don't be mad at me.
333
00:30:28.527 --> 00:30:32.829
I'm not. Martine just ran out
to buy cigarettes. What's up?
334
00:30:37.703 --> 00:30:39.672
I got a car.
335
00:30:40.272 --> 00:30:42.390
A Volvo.
336
00:30:46.578 --> 00:30:48.144
Hello?
337
00:30:49.248 --> 00:30:50.981
Yeah.
338
00:30:52.170 --> 00:30:54.851
I can come see you
whenever you want me to.
339
00:31:05.164 --> 00:31:07.798
Remember what I did last time?
340
00:31:09.935 --> 00:31:11.837
How I touched you?
341
00:31:18.911 --> 00:31:21.547
I want to do it again.
342
00:31:22.795 --> 00:31:25.616
But this time with my mouth.
343
00:31:27.920 --> 00:31:29.953
Let me.
344
00:31:30.423 --> 00:31:32.456
Please.
345
00:31:34.426 --> 00:31:37.560
Wednesday, I'll text you the address.
346
00:31:42.268 --> 00:31:46.705
Paul made a ton of money today
because he predicted a stock would tank.
347
00:31:47.925 --> 00:31:50.641
He brought home Belgium
chocolates and champagne.
348
00:31:55.140 --> 00:31:57.883
All day I was so excited
about my date with Dan
349
00:31:57.983 --> 00:32:00.920
my heart felt like it
was going to explode.
350
00:32:01.220 --> 00:32:03.920
I loved the whole world.
351
00:32:24.760 --> 00:32:26.211
- We need protection.
- No. No, we don't.
352
00:32:27.211 --> 00:32:28.812
Are you sure?
353
00:33:00.879 --> 00:33:02.470
Daddy!
354
00:33:13.291 --> 00:33:15.725
Cigarettes? Since when?
355
00:33:16.662 --> 00:33:18.461
Yeah.
356
00:33:19.331 --> 00:33:22.768
- It was a mistake.
- Oh, come on. One's not going to kill you.
357
00:33:22.868 --> 00:33:26.336
No, I meant that.
358
00:33:26.872 --> 00:33:29.107
Well, my period just ended.
359
00:33:29.507 --> 00:33:31.808
That's not what I meant.
360
00:33:32.178 --> 00:33:36.880
Is it my age? You know my
birthday's at midnight.
361
00:33:43.655 --> 00:33:45.388
Here's the thing.
362
00:33:46.625 --> 00:33:49.521
I care about you a lot, but...
363
00:33:49.621 --> 00:33:52.765
Okay before you dump me,
let me say something.
364
00:33:53.665 --> 00:33:55.901
Martine treats you like shit
365
00:33:56.301 --> 00:33:59.104
and I think you should dump her
and go out with me instead.
366
00:33:59.204 --> 00:34:03.742
Now I know my age freaks you out, but we
can do it in a really cool, healthy way.
367
00:34:03.842 --> 00:34:07.460
I promise. I wouldn't have
to meet any of your friends,
368
00:34:07.146 --> 00:34:11.850
and I wouldn't make you meet my mom.
We could keep the whole thing a secret.
369
00:34:11.950 --> 00:34:17.880
It would just be us right here,
making love and watching art films.
370
00:34:17.188 --> 00:34:22.125
And then when I go away to college,
we break up really maturely.
371
00:34:22.661 --> 00:34:26.970
Stay friends forever. It's perfect.
372
00:34:27.999 --> 00:34:29.866
It would be.
373
00:34:30.702 --> 00:34:32.202
Is that a yes?
374
00:34:34.706 --> 00:34:36.573
I can't.
375
00:34:39.812 --> 00:34:41.111
Why?
376
00:34:42.314 --> 00:34:46.320
Martine and I are engaged.
Since the middle of October.
377
00:34:52.457 --> 00:34:55.561
What do you have with her
that you don't have with me?
378
00:34:56.261 --> 00:34:58.497
- Katie...
- Answer the fucking question.
379
00:34:59.498 --> 00:35:02.969
There are things that... that people
close to each other in age share.
380
00:35:03.690 --> 00:35:06.236
- Like what?
- Martine and I are intellectually compatible.
381
00:35:13.345 --> 00:35:16.515
Why did you have to fuck me
before you told me the truth?
382
00:35:16.615 --> 00:35:18.348
You're such a liar!
383
00:35:28.193 --> 00:35:30.660
So is that why you moved?
384
00:35:31.970 --> 00:35:33.863
So you could live together?
385
00:35:35.500 --> 00:35:36.467
She lives here?
386
00:35:57.623 --> 00:36:00.359
- Where were you?
- What happened to your study group?
387
00:36:00.459 --> 00:36:02.127
It ended an hour ago. Where were you?
388
00:36:02.227 --> 00:36:05.970
- A movie!
- Is everything all right?
389
00:36:05.797 --> 00:36:07.764
Have you been crying?
390
00:36:09.601 --> 00:36:11.704
Rory, come down.
391
00:36:12.204 --> 00:36:14.240
- What did you see?
- What?
392
00:36:14.340 --> 00:36:16.575
The name of the movie, what was it?
393
00:36:16.875 --> 00:36:20.846
Sex With a Paranoid Guy. It was a comedy.
Now go home, you freak.
394
00:36:20.946 --> 00:36:24.316
- Where were you?
- Fuck you!
395
00:36:26.184 --> 00:36:28.154
- Are you okay?
- He was older.
396
00:36:28.254 --> 00:36:32.524
He's a 32-year-old guy, and I'm
madly in love with him, okay?!
397
00:36:32.624 --> 00:36:34.624
Did you have sex with him?
398
00:36:39.640 --> 00:36:40.531
You did.
399
00:36:44.770 --> 00:36:47.740
Hey, hey, hey! Never hit a girl!
400
00:36:47.840 --> 00:36:50.575
Never hit a girl!
Get the hell out of here!
401
00:36:50.675 --> 00:36:53.443
Get out of here!
You want to go to jail?!
402
00:36:57.916 --> 00:37:00.216
You want to tell me what that was about?
403
00:37:01.753 --> 00:37:05.190
Just go, please.
404
00:37:05.290 --> 00:37:08.158
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
405
00:37:11.630 --> 00:37:12.695
Mark?
406
00:37:16.802 --> 00:37:18.435
Thanks.
407
00:37:25.109 --> 00:37:27.880
Turns out they were
engaged the whole time.
408
00:37:28.680 --> 00:37:30.713
They moved in together.
409
00:37:32.417 --> 00:37:33.855
I'm such a retard.
410
00:37:34.819 --> 00:37:36.621
Oh, sweetheart,
411
00:37:36.721 --> 00:37:39.525
I wish you would have told me about
it sooner. I could have warned you.
412
00:37:39.625 --> 00:37:43.162
Never get mixed up with someone
if there's a third party involved.
413
00:37:43.462 --> 00:37:45.595
You almost always lose.
414
00:37:46.832 --> 00:37:48.200
You didn't sleep with him, did you?
415
00:37:48.300 --> 00:37:51.401
- Of course not.
- I'm sorry. Had to ask.
416
00:37:56.341 --> 00:37:58.744
Aren't you going to wish
me a happy birthday?
417
00:37:59.440 --> 00:38:02.378
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
418
00:38:03.282 --> 00:38:05.415
Happy birthday.
419
00:38:07.886 --> 00:38:11.454
So, what do you want to do to celebrate?
420
00:38:12.124 --> 00:38:14.293
I don't know.
421
00:38:14.793 --> 00:38:17.763
Thank God my name's not really Katie
422
00:38:17.863 --> 00:38:21.333
and I'm 100% invisible to the world,
423
00:38:21.433 --> 00:38:24.936
or I'd be so humiliated
by my life right now
424
00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:27.437
I'd probably kill myself.
425
00:38:32.477 --> 00:38:34.846
Do you stay friends with your exes?
426
00:38:34.946 --> 00:38:39.985
Only if they can handle us being platonic.
Hasn't happened yet.
427
00:38:40.285 --> 00:38:44.790
Do you pee in swimming pools?
That's the only place.
428
00:38:45.390 --> 00:38:48.930
What's your favourite
thing in your bedroom?
429
00:38:48.393 --> 00:38:49.661
My heart.
430
00:38:50.261 --> 00:38:53.465
What's your least favourite
thing in your bedroom?
431
00:38:53.565 --> 00:38:55.331
My heart.
432
00:38:56.835 --> 00:38:59.337
What are you listening to these days?
433
00:38:59.437 --> 00:39:02.174
A voice in my head telling me
that something wonderful
434
00:39:02.274 --> 00:39:05.811
is going to happen any minute.
It just has to.
435
00:39:06.711 --> 00:39:10.810
I know the prices are outrageous,
but you just can't beat the organic produce.
436
00:39:10.181 --> 00:39:12.517
- Absolutely. The meats are to die for.
- Yeah. I know.
437
00:39:12.617 --> 00:39:15.421
The other day I got a leg of lamb.
I'm telling you it was this big.
438
00:39:15.521 --> 00:39:18.323
- Hang on one second. Is he down?
- Yup, boom.
439
00:39:18.423 --> 00:39:21.894
Oh, good. Did I mention
you look adorable?
440
00:39:21.994 --> 00:39:26.970
Oh, well, I don't feel it.
Barely got two hours of sleep last night.
441
00:39:26.197 --> 00:39:28.467
Excitement about Santa's arrival,
or boy trouble?
442
00:39:28.567 --> 00:39:29.979
Boy trouble.
443
00:39:30.790 --> 00:39:32.821
Well, good riddance, whoever he is.
You can do better.
444
00:39:33.210 --> 00:39:35.305
- Couldn't do worse.
- I have a nephew.
445
00:39:37.750 --> 00:39:39.511
- Onwards and upwards.
- Cheers.
446
00:39:40.211 --> 00:39:43.682
- I thought we were the bad guys.
- Well, no, no, no.
447
00:39:43.782 --> 00:39:47.919
People are people.
You know, red, white, purple.
448
00:39:48.190 --> 00:39:52.624
We're all shit. You know
what else the Apache enjoyed?
449
00:39:53.240 --> 00:39:54.691
Sodomy.
450
00:39:55.494 --> 00:39:58.930
Most of Custer's seventh brigade,
451
00:39:59.300 --> 00:40:04.803
second cavalry, they were found
buck naked, all torn up inside.
452
00:40:04.903 --> 00:40:07.506
Well, Ollie, listen, it's been a riot.
453
00:40:07.606 --> 00:40:10.409
Cornflower blue.
454
00:40:11.309 --> 00:40:13.212
You're a real blond, aren't you?
455
00:40:14.112 --> 00:40:17.115
- Oh, yeah.
- You're real naughty too.
456
00:40:17.215 --> 00:40:21.253
Not tonight. Not... Not...
Not feeling it tonight, turtleneck, okay?
457
00:40:21.353 --> 00:40:23.755
Now let me go before I scream.
458
00:40:31.263 --> 00:40:34.766
You better slow down there.
That stuff will kill you.
459
00:40:34.866 --> 00:40:37.503
I still have to drive home.
You having fun?
460
00:40:37.603 --> 00:40:40.370
At my own party? Not a chance.
461
00:40:45.677 --> 00:40:49.314
We've got to stop meeting like this.
Maggie will get suspicious.
462
00:40:49.514 --> 00:40:51.214
Really?
463
00:41:13.472 --> 00:41:17.509
Hey, Merry Christmas Eve.
It's Joel again.
464
00:41:17.609 --> 00:41:22.948
You never call me back, so I assume you're
either really busy or you hate Jews.
465
00:41:24.549 --> 00:41:27.252
So here's why I keep calling.
466
00:41:27.352 --> 00:41:30.689
The third week of school I tried
to jump out of a dorm window.
467
00:41:30.789 --> 00:41:33.725
And I remember you spent some
time at a mental hospital,
468
00:41:33.825 --> 00:41:35.896
and I thought you might be able to
relate to what I'm going through,
469
00:41:35.996 --> 00:41:38.243
and then we could be friends.
470
00:41:38.343 --> 00:41:39.922
My bad.
471
00:42:19.416 --> 00:42:22.672
- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.
472
00:42:24.642 --> 00:42:26.308
Oh, Dad.
473
00:42:27.445 --> 00:42:31.714
- What did I do to deserve this?
- You knocked up Mom.
474
00:42:36.249 --> 00:42:41.393
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Oh, these will keep my nuts warm.
475
00:42:43.862 --> 00:42:44.828
Thank you, kid.
476
00:42:58.343 --> 00:42:59.747
How was dinner with your family?
477
00:43:00.946 --> 00:43:03.249
Oh, thank you for asking. My...
478
00:43:03.373 --> 00:43:06.182
Don't ever spend Christmas
Eve with old Hindus.
479
00:43:08.353 --> 00:43:10.555
It was like Gunga Din
meets the Brothers Grimm.
480
00:43:10.655 --> 00:43:13.157
I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
481
00:43:14.993 --> 00:43:16.926
Oh, here.
482
00:43:17.896 --> 00:43:20.163
I know what my baby girl likes.
483
00:43:30.642 --> 00:43:34.611
Thanks. It's beautiful.
484
00:43:42.353 --> 00:43:44.720
I used to be your hero.
485
00:43:48.860 --> 00:43:53.980
- Bet you don't even remember that, do you?
- Not really.
486
00:43:53.998 --> 00:43:58.467
I used to come home from work,
you'd just go crazy.
487
00:43:59.337 --> 00:44:04.400
You'd grab my hand, show me
your latest Barbie or whatever.
488
00:44:06.678 --> 00:44:08.613
Then the witch kicked me out.
489
00:44:09.213 --> 00:44:11.917
Right before Christmas, too.
490
00:44:12.917 --> 00:44:16.119
You latched on like a goddamn pit bull.
491
00:44:17.856 --> 00:44:20.991
- Wouldn't let go.
- Seriously?
492
00:44:22.594 --> 00:44:24.761
Screaming your lungs out.
493
00:44:29.634 --> 00:44:32.569
I can't believe I don't remember that.
494
00:44:38.977 --> 00:44:40.812
Happy New Year!
495
00:44:40.912 --> 00:44:45.183
Right after Rory and I broke up,
Jade found a new boyfriend.
496
00:44:45.283 --> 00:44:47.786
I had no one to celebrate
with last night.
497
00:44:47.886 --> 00:44:51.921
- Honey? It's me.
- Come in.
498
00:45:00.599 --> 00:45:04.466
Oh, God. Dad's dead?
499
00:45:09.140 --> 00:45:12.909
Oh, my God! Congratulations!
500
00:45:14.245 --> 00:45:18.216
I don't even know what to say.
501
00:45:18.316 --> 00:45:20.985
She's marrying the mustache.
502
00:45:21.110 --> 00:45:25.256
- Oh, no!
- I knew you'd understand.
503
00:45:25.840 --> 00:45:28.521
Come over, please.
504
00:45:31.730 --> 00:45:35.330
First I... I got to tell you something.
505
00:45:35.133 --> 00:45:36.966
Shit.
506
00:45:37.602 --> 00:45:39.502
Hold on.
507
00:45:48.880 --> 00:45:51.149
Okay, what?
508
00:45:51.749 --> 00:45:53.252
Okay...
509
00:45:54.520 --> 00:45:58.523
so the night we broke up
I took two sleeping pills.
510
00:45:58.623 --> 00:46:03.726
And Jade was over trolling
on 4chan with my roommates.
511
00:46:04.896 --> 00:46:07.265
So, any resolutions?
512
00:46:07.765 --> 00:46:11.135
Well, I found out my boyfriend's
boning my best friend.
513
00:46:11.235 --> 00:46:16.307
- I thought you and your boyfriend broke up.
- We did. Now it's permanent.
514
00:46:16.407 --> 00:46:18.343
I'm never going to speak
to either of them again.
515
00:46:18.443 --> 00:46:21.479
- Smart choice.
- What about you?
516
00:46:21.579 --> 00:46:24.916
I am going back to work part-time.
517
00:46:25.160 --> 00:46:26.851
Wow, really? So soon?
518
00:46:26.951 --> 00:46:30.989
Yeah, well, I feel great. You know,
I got my body back. Why not?
519
00:46:31.389 --> 00:46:36.694
Paul's pissed. If he had his way I'd stay
home forever and be a broodmare.
520
00:46:37.394 --> 00:46:41.299
- Do you know what that is?
- Like a sad horse.
521
00:46:41.499 --> 00:46:45.100
Close, yeah. One that does
nothing but give birth.
522
00:46:46.871 --> 00:46:49.439
- Do you want to have more kids?
- No.
523
00:47:18.336 --> 00:47:21.907
How's it going? Wow,
you're even prettier than I remember.
524
00:47:22.700 --> 00:47:23.808
And you're just as sweet.
525
00:47:25.776 --> 00:47:28.446
I can't believe you finally
decided to hang out with me.
526
00:47:28.546 --> 00:47:30.815
I hope I don't destroy
your social standing.
527
00:47:31.415 --> 00:47:33.149
Stop it.
528
00:47:34.519 --> 00:47:38.954
- What made you finally call me back?
- Your text made me laugh.
529
00:47:40.491 --> 00:47:42.649
- Hey, you're legal, right?
- Yeah.
530
00:47:42.749 --> 00:47:46.128
You should order wine.
They won't card me here if you do it.
531
00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:57.709
So anyway, long story short,
532
00:47:57.909 --> 00:47:59.945
they've been fucking ever since.
533
00:48:01.450 --> 00:48:06.384
- What a roll you're on.
- I know. I have the worst luck with guys.
534
00:48:06.484 --> 00:48:09.185
Yeah, I would say the worst taste.
535
00:48:09.485 --> 00:48:12.570
- You're the one who picks them, right?
- Yeah.
536
00:48:12.157 --> 00:48:14.926
Anyway, it seems like your
problems go way beyond guys.
537
00:48:15.260 --> 00:48:19.970
- I mean, you're confused about a lot.
- Well, who isn't at our age?
538
00:48:19.197 --> 00:48:23.868
And that's why the most important
thing is to develop self-awareness.
539
00:48:23.968 --> 00:48:26.370
I'm pretty much the most
fucked-up person I know,
540
00:48:26.137 --> 00:48:29.706
and I'm working really
hard to understand myself.
541
00:48:31.442 --> 00:48:33.770
Are you?
542
00:48:34.770 --> 00:48:38.116
Working really hard to
understand you? Not really.
543
00:48:41.185 --> 00:48:43.180
When you're ready.
544
00:48:53.664 --> 00:48:54.631
Right.
545
00:49:08.146 --> 00:49:09.616
Hello?
546
00:49:11.750 --> 00:49:15.500
Who is this? Affie?
547
00:49:15.920 --> 00:49:20.358
What is it? Is it my dad?
Affie, what's wrong?!
548
00:49:20.958 --> 00:49:22.991
You can see him now.
549
00:49:24.862 --> 00:49:29.670
When he fell, an artery in the
sac around his brain ripped open.
550
00:49:29.567 --> 00:49:31.869
They fixed it and stopped the bleeding,
551
00:49:31.969 --> 00:49:34.970
but now all they can do is wait and see.
552
00:50:43.541 --> 00:50:46.577
I used to pour my dad his beers for him.
553
00:50:46.677 --> 00:50:50.849
Even though I get how sad
and inappropriate that is,
554
00:50:50.949 --> 00:50:54.160
at the time it made
me feel really special.
555
00:50:55.920 --> 00:51:00.623
And I'm still an expert at pouring beer
so that the foam doesn't spill over.
556
00:51:05.671 --> 00:51:08.299
Oh, one more... One more thing.
557
00:51:09.299 --> 00:51:13.804
My dad and I, we used to play this
game together when we were watching TV,
558
00:51:13.904 --> 00:51:17.442
and I would ask him if I
could have some of his beer.
559
00:51:17.542 --> 00:51:19.877
So he would reach over to grab his mug,
560
00:51:19.977 --> 00:51:25.316
and when he did I would... flop my
mouth down on his beer belly and...
561
00:51:31.889 --> 00:51:35.259
And he would get all mad,
like I had tricked him.
562
00:51:35.759 --> 00:51:37.228
And...
563
00:51:37.628 --> 00:51:40.629
I would just laugh my head off.
564
00:52:09.270 --> 00:52:10.545
Yes.
565
00:52:13.197 --> 00:52:17.468
Hi, my name's Amy Graham.
I'm a student of Professor Gallo's.
566
00:52:18.168 --> 00:52:20.244
I hate bothering him at home,
but it's...
567
00:52:20.344 --> 00:52:23.107
really, really important,
and I lost his phone number.
568
00:52:23.507 --> 00:52:25.574
Oh, I'm sorry. He's not home.
569
00:52:27.745 --> 00:52:30.714
Darn it. Okay, okay.
570
00:52:31.949 --> 00:52:34.619
But I'll be happy to give him a message.
571
00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:37.121
Will you please tell him there's
been a death in my family,
572
00:52:37.221 --> 00:52:39.141
so I can't finish my paper on time.
573
00:52:39.957 --> 00:52:41.993
Which paper?
574
00:52:43.327 --> 00:52:45.527
The one he assigned.
575
00:52:47.980 --> 00:52:49.867
All right. I'm sorry.
576
00:52:49.967 --> 00:52:54.839
- I mean, for your loss.
- That's okay. Merci.
577
00:52:55.739 --> 00:52:56.872
Bye.
578
00:53:17.194 --> 00:53:18.648
During the week of work I missed,
579
00:53:18.748 --> 00:53:23.534
Margaret kept her resolution and got a
job redoing a zillionaire's media room.
580
00:53:23.634 --> 00:53:28.103
For the next month she'll be
working weekdays from 9:00 to 3:00.
581
00:53:31.309 --> 00:53:34.111
So Kyle doesn't get too
traumatized by the change,
582
00:53:34.211 --> 00:53:37.179
Paul's going to eat
lunch at home every day.
583
00:53:44.721 --> 00:53:47.580
Well, I can't believe how okay you seem.
584
00:53:47.758 --> 00:53:49.961
He had cirrhosis for a long time.
585
00:53:50.610 --> 00:53:53.131
I knew he was going to die.
I was pretty much prepared for it.
586
00:53:54.398 --> 00:53:55.731
The arrogance of youth.
587
00:53:56.935 --> 00:53:58.369
Don't say that.
588
00:53:59.369 --> 00:54:03.760
No, no, I mean it as a compliment.
An ironic one,
589
00:54:03.176 --> 00:54:06.311
but if young people weren't so arrogant,
they'd really be in trouble.
590
00:54:06.911 --> 00:54:08.346
What do you mean?
591
00:54:08.446 --> 00:54:11.281
Look, life kicks your ass.
If young people knew it,
592
00:54:11.381 --> 00:54:13.484
they'd crawl into the basement with
a crack pipe and never come out.
593
00:54:14.484 --> 00:54:17.689
Wouldn't take risks or
fight for lost causes,
594
00:54:17.789 --> 00:54:20.289
or even start a career.
I mean, why bother, right?
595
00:54:23.940 --> 00:54:26.693
You think you're okay with
your dad's death? Not a chance.
596
00:54:26.793 --> 00:54:29.200
It won't even hit you that he's
really gone until you're in your 30's,
597
00:54:29.300 --> 00:54:32.436
which happens to be the
most difficult decade of life.
598
00:54:32.936 --> 00:54:35.834
That is when the shit
really hits the fan.
599
00:54:41.679 --> 00:54:43.181
What are you grinning at?
600
00:54:43.981 --> 00:54:45.683
You.
601
00:54:46.383 --> 00:54:47.599
Tell me more.
602
00:54:49.320 --> 00:54:51.187
I want to know everything.
603
00:54:53.224 --> 00:54:55.690
- Hey, you haven't quit yet.
- Not yet.
604
00:54:55.790 --> 00:54:57.399
- See you later. Thanks.
- Yeah!
605
00:54:57.499 --> 00:55:00.100
Hey, hey. Hi, sweetie.
I'll be right back.
606
00:55:00.732 --> 00:55:03.799
Here's your salary,
and a little something extra.
607
00:55:04.936 --> 00:55:07.670
- Thanks. Bye.
- Bye.
608
00:55:19.183 --> 00:55:20.551
"Dear Miss Kampenfelt,
609
00:55:20.651 --> 00:55:23.555
"since you expressed a desire today
to learn more about adult life,
610
00:55:23.655 --> 00:55:26.230
"here are 10 bitter truths
for your reading pleasure.
611
00:55:26.623 --> 00:55:30.261
"Number one:
Complete honesty is a complete lie.
612
00:55:30.361 --> 00:55:34.598
"Two: marriage is sacred only to those
who have never been married.
613
00:55:34.798 --> 00:55:38.870
"Three: money is more integral
to happiness than romantic love."
614
00:55:39.970 --> 00:55:43.341
"Four: every human
being is a contradiction.
615
00:55:43.441 --> 00:55:45.710
"Some hide it better than others.
616
00:55:45.810 --> 00:55:49.380
"Five: never underestimate
the tendency of human beings
617
00:55:49.480 --> 00:55:52.250
"to act contrary to
their own best interests.
618
00:55:52.350 --> 00:55:56.530
"Six: were it not for the
fear of getting caught,
619
00:55:56.153 --> 00:55:58.522
"most of us would behave like savages.
620
00:55:58.622 --> 00:56:03.586
"Seven: all sex has consequences,
most of them dire."
621
00:56:05.896 --> 00:56:11.268
"The older you get, the faster time
flies until months pass like days.
622
00:56:11.668 --> 00:56:14.705
"There's no such thing as
living happily ever after.
623
00:56:15.705 --> 00:56:18.390
Everything gets worse."
624
00:56:20.578 --> 00:56:21.879
He wants to fuck you.
625
00:56:22.728 --> 00:56:27.118
He has, like, the most perfect,
beautiful wife on the planet.
626
00:56:27.318 --> 00:56:31.656
And that's why it's not going to happen?
Because he doesn't want to? What about you?
627
00:56:31.756 --> 00:56:35.393
I would never do that.
You don't know me.
628
00:56:35.993 --> 00:56:39.430
- You're self-centered.
- Ooh, news flash.
629
00:56:39.730 --> 00:56:43.501
- You're promiscuous.
- I can't help it.
630
00:56:43.801 --> 00:56:48.500
It feels good. And plus,
I owe it to my fans.
631
00:56:48.805 --> 00:56:52.407
- You're an incipient alcoholic.
- No, I'm not.
632
00:56:54.278 --> 00:56:55.913
Hey, what does that mean again?
633
00:56:56.130 --> 00:56:59.282
It means you're not an addict yet,
but you're well on the way.
634
00:56:59.554 --> 00:57:01.116
Okay.
635
00:57:03.521 --> 00:57:05.555
I want to ask you something,
636
00:57:07.257 --> 00:57:10.548
You don't have to answer, but...
637
00:57:10.848 --> 00:57:13.798
were you molested when you were little?
638
00:57:13.898 --> 00:57:18.567
Because you remind me of a friend
of mine from school. She was abused.
639
00:57:27.144 --> 00:57:28.924
A little.
640
00:57:31.115 --> 00:57:34.737
I mean, it just depends on...
641
00:57:39.323 --> 00:57:41.891
The summer before my
parents got divorced,
642
00:57:41.991 --> 00:57:45.562
I was like 6. My dad had
disconnected the cable.
643
00:57:45.662 --> 00:57:50.340
He was going to write this book
on worst sports injures in history,
644
00:57:50.134 --> 00:57:53.237
- and he didn't want to be distracted.
- That's a good idea for a book.
645
00:57:53.337 --> 00:57:55.739
Well, he never wrote it.
646
00:57:56.239 --> 00:58:01.440
Anyway, since we had no TV, my mom sent
me next door to watch at the Solagee's.
647
00:58:01.144 --> 00:58:07.417
And Mrs. Solagee would always make me
these yummy prune Hungarian cookies,
648
00:58:07.517 --> 00:58:10.850
and I'd get to watch cartoons.
649
00:58:12.189 --> 00:58:17.962
But then when we were alone,
Mr. Solagee would put me on his lap,
650
00:58:18.562 --> 00:58:22.130
and he'd touch me.
651
00:58:23.601 --> 00:58:26.235
He would squirm around the whole time.
652
00:58:31.775 --> 00:58:33.408
God.
653
00:58:34.812 --> 00:58:38.513
You know, it actually felt kind of good.
654
00:58:50.961 --> 00:58:53.428
My friend Joel thinks I need therapy.
655
00:58:54.465 --> 00:58:58.702
- What do you think?
- He's probably right.
656
00:58:59.102 --> 00:59:00.736
I agree.
657
00:59:01.939 --> 00:59:04.306
Surprise, surprise.
658
00:59:05.976 --> 00:59:10.143
- I'll find you someone good.
- A lady, okay?
659
00:59:17.287 --> 00:59:21.991
Juliet Is Dead wants to know what Joel meant
when he said I was in a mental hospital.
660
00:59:24.620 --> 00:59:28.330
When I was 13 I stole a bunch of my
mom's Ambiens and climbed to the window
661
00:59:28.133 --> 00:59:31.902
of a 26-year-old lifeguard
I had a massive crush on.
662
00:59:32.200 --> 00:59:33.730
When he told me to go home,
663
00:59:33.830 --> 00:59:37.973
I started crying hysterically
and locked myself in his bathroom.
664
00:59:40.444 --> 00:59:43.213
They kept me in the psych
ward for three days.
665
00:59:43.313 --> 00:59:46.348
Been pretty much
anti-therapy ever since.
666
00:59:49.253 --> 00:59:52.405
And now I'm thinking that
maybe what Mr. Solagee did...
667
00:59:52.805 --> 00:59:55.659
really affected me.
668
00:59:55.759 --> 00:59:58.727
Maybe that's why I like
older guys so much.
669
00:59:59.497 --> 01:00:03.134
I just always that it was
because my dad was such a dick.
670
01:00:06.402 --> 01:00:09.104
I'd like you to write a
letter to Mr. Solagee.
671
01:00:11.442 --> 01:00:14.109
He's really old. He's probably dead.
672
01:00:15.246 --> 01:00:16.986
It's not for him.
673
01:00:21.385 --> 01:00:24.321
Kyle had night terrors again last night.
Even after I picked him up,
674
01:00:24.421 --> 01:00:27.691
he cried for another half-hour.
Scared the shit out of us.
675
01:00:27.791 --> 01:00:29.293
Well, what do you think's causing it?
676
01:00:29.893 --> 01:00:32.129
Well, I think it's that
Maggie went back to work,
677
01:00:32.229 --> 01:00:35.630
but she doesn't want to
hear about that, of course.
678
01:00:36.467 --> 01:00:38.602
So, what are you going to do?
679
01:00:40.170 --> 01:00:44.375
Just give him some extra love,
and hope that she comes to her senses.
680
01:00:45.810 --> 01:00:48.450
She's so lucky to be married to you.
681
01:00:48.145 --> 01:00:52.948
I don't know why she wants to go back
to work so quickly. It's ridiculous.
682
01:00:56.200 --> 01:01:00.155
You know what? It's not
till tomorrow, but what the hell?
683
01:01:08.650 --> 01:01:10.165
Happy Valentine's Day.
684
01:01:14.805 --> 01:01:18.142
It's a locket. Until you
have a kid of your own,
685
01:01:18.242 --> 01:01:21.643
I figured a picture of
Kyle will have to do.
686
01:01:23.247 --> 01:01:25.513
Thank you. I love it.
687
01:01:42.165 --> 01:01:44.000
God, you're beautiful.
688
01:01:47.103 --> 01:01:51.375
So yeah, I mostly just hang out with
this kid, Joel Seidler. He's kind of funny.
689
01:01:51.475 --> 01:01:53.177
Look who it is. Hey, honey.
690
01:01:53.277 --> 01:01:55.546
What time did she say the
samples were coming?
691
01:01:56.346 --> 01:02:00.500
No, no, no, no, no. I need something
way more specific than that.
692
01:02:00.150 --> 01:02:03.252
Yes, please call back.
All right, fine. I'll call you back.
693
01:02:13.930 --> 01:02:16.834
- Well, well.
- Hey...
694
01:02:17.780 --> 01:02:20.802
Martine's out of town for the weekend.
695
01:02:27.444 --> 01:02:31.780
Hey, why didn't you
tell me your dad died?
696
01:02:33.500 --> 01:02:34.919
Because I hate your guts.
697
01:02:35.190 --> 01:02:36.687
Oh, God!
698
01:02:38.755 --> 01:02:42.760
Okay, slow down, slow down.
I want it to last longer.
699
01:02:42.860 --> 01:02:46.996
You can do it. You can. You can.
700
01:03:15.993 --> 01:03:18.228
That was a big mistake.
701
01:03:18.728 --> 01:03:20.195
Yeah.
702
01:03:22.660 --> 01:03:23.932
I'm in love...
703
01:03:25.680 --> 01:03:26.637
with somebody else.
704
01:03:27.137 --> 01:03:28.639
Oh, and suddenly age matters?
705
01:03:28.739 --> 01:03:31.932
Yeah, it matters, because I'm 14
years older then you. I'm not 23.
706
01:03:32.320 --> 01:03:34.145
And I'm not married.
And I'm not your boss.
707
01:03:34.245 --> 01:03:37.147
Why are you freaking out?
All we did was kiss.
708
01:03:37.247 --> 01:03:39.617
Oh, stop. Stop pretending like
you don't know what's going on.
709
01:03:39.717 --> 01:03:41.585
That's why he hired you.
710
01:03:41.785 --> 01:03:44.620
- He's a fucking scumbag.
- And what are you?
711
01:03:49.626 --> 01:03:51.510
You need help.
712
01:03:52.262 --> 01:03:54.965
I know. I'm in therapy.
713
01:03:55.650 --> 01:03:59.770
Good, well, hope you tell
him all about Spooner.
714
01:04:00.470 --> 01:04:03.841
It's a she. And I didn't.
715
01:04:04.541 --> 01:04:06.608
But I told her all about you.
716
01:04:07.945 --> 01:04:11.150
That's great. Thanks.
717
01:04:12.415 --> 01:04:15.986
Well, you can tell her this next time
you go: you can tell her that I ended it.
718
01:04:16.860 --> 01:04:18.922
No more. We're not doing this
ever again, you understand?
719
01:04:19.220 --> 01:04:23.600
One of us has to be strong enough to end it.
Since I'm the adult I guess it'll be me.
720
01:04:23.160 --> 01:04:24.993
Don't call me again either.
721
01:04:41.245 --> 01:04:42.146
Good morning!
722
01:04:42.246 --> 01:04:45.716
Gotcha. Okay, so you...
So you don't like that.
723
01:04:45.816 --> 01:04:48.385
I thought I didn't want it to happen,
724
01:04:48.999 --> 01:04:51.185
but maybe I did.
725
01:05:41.438 --> 01:05:44.505
When I'm with him I feel so special.
726
01:05:50.881 --> 01:05:53.214
I forget everything.
727
01:06:12.350 --> 01:06:13.623
Dear Dr. Sherman, first off,
728
01:06:13.723 --> 01:06:18.800
I want to thank you for making time in
your busy schedule to see my darling Katie.
729
01:06:18.108 --> 01:06:21.478
She really is something, isn't she?
One of a kind, all right.
730
01:06:21.778 --> 01:06:23.880
As much as she enjoyed
your session together,
731
01:06:23.980 --> 01:06:26.950
I have decided to send her
to a different therapist,
732
01:06:27.500 --> 01:06:31.443
one who specializes in young women
and their many food-body issues,
733
01:06:31.543 --> 01:06:35.693
a national epidemic.
Thank you so much for your time.
734
01:06:35.893 --> 01:06:38.762
Yours truly...
735
01:06:39.462 --> 01:06:42.964
Caroline Kampenfelt.
736
01:06:54.311 --> 01:06:57.147
Katie, Joel.
737
01:06:57.547 --> 01:06:59.113
Hi.
738
01:07:00.317 --> 01:07:03.860
I just wanted to tell you
that you're a monster.
739
01:07:03.686 --> 01:07:07.255
I've been a really good friend to you,
and this is how you repay me?
740
01:07:07.355 --> 01:07:09.724
By never calling me back.
741
01:07:10.294 --> 01:07:13.580
Besides me, how many straight
guys are there in the whole world
742
01:07:13.158 --> 01:07:17.332
who like you enough to be your friend
without there being anything sexual?
743
01:07:18.902 --> 01:07:20.904
I'll give you a hint:
744
01:07:21.400 --> 01:07:22.870
zero.
745
01:07:23.874 --> 01:07:28.409
I'm only three years older than you,
but I'm so much smarter it's ridiculous.
746
01:07:29.746 --> 01:07:31.980
You have no inner life.
747
01:07:48.231 --> 01:07:50.990
Why was I crying so hard?
748
01:07:51.290 --> 01:07:53.835
Who cares what Joel thought of me?
749
01:07:57.444 --> 01:07:59.368
And then I thought,
750
01:07:59.468 --> 01:08:03.811
Oh, wait, maybe it's just hormones.
751
01:08:25.669 --> 01:08:27.368
No, thanks.
752
01:08:28.905 --> 01:08:30.707
Okay.
753
01:08:31.807 --> 01:08:33.590
What's going on?
754
01:08:34.900 --> 01:08:37.581
- What do you mean?
- You never say no.
755
01:08:45.880 --> 01:08:46.621
Why not?
756
01:08:51.127 --> 01:08:52.827
I'm pregnant.
757
01:08:56.633 --> 01:08:59.236
- Holy shit.
- Stop.
758
01:08:59.336 --> 01:09:03.638
I'm not keeping it. And there's
a decent chance it's not yours.
759
01:09:04.641 --> 01:09:08.145
- Then why'd you even tell me?
- Because you wanted me to get high.
760
01:09:08.245 --> 01:09:11.913
Yeah, well, if you're just going
to kill it, why not get high?
761
01:09:13.830 --> 01:09:15.383
I might change my mind.
762
01:09:20.690 --> 01:09:22.357
Maybe.
763
01:09:23.627 --> 01:09:25.626
Oh, man.
764
01:09:27.597 --> 01:09:30.330
How many others are there?
765
01:09:30.133 --> 01:09:31.629
Two.
766
01:09:35.939 --> 01:09:38.239
You're a fucking whore.
767
01:09:39.676 --> 01:09:41.778
You're not even worth it!
768
01:09:43.130 --> 01:09:46.150
- Hello?
- I'm sorry, I might have the wrong number.
769
01:09:46.115 --> 01:09:50.487
- I'm looking for Joel Seidler.
- Who is this?
770
01:09:50.787 --> 01:09:54.257
- Katie Kampenfelt.
- Oh, Katie.
771
01:09:55.578 --> 01:09:57.594
You know he's clinically
depressed, right?
772
01:09:57.694 --> 01:10:02.332
Of course.
We talk about it all the time.
773
01:10:02.432 --> 01:10:04.768
Well, he made another attempt.
774
01:10:04.868 --> 01:10:08.603
Pills this time. Very female.
775
01:10:09.272 --> 01:10:13.276
I was the one who found him.
Worst moment of my life.
776
01:10:13.576 --> 01:10:15.412
Is he okay?
777
01:10:15.988 --> 01:10:20.517
Physically, yes.
Mentally, who the hell knows?
778
01:10:20.917 --> 01:10:24.220
- He's at St. Jude's.
- Can I visit him?
779
01:10:24.320 --> 01:10:28.356
No, honey we got to get his
chemistry straightened out first.
780
01:10:29.826 --> 01:10:32.862
Will you let me know when
he can have visitors?
781
01:10:32.962 --> 01:10:37.310
- Of course. Absolutely.
- Thank you.
782
01:10:50.180 --> 01:10:52.130
I'm so happy you finally called.
783
01:12:06.756 --> 01:12:09.524
I can't believe I miss him so much.
784
01:12:16.533 --> 01:12:20.334
If only he had left that
silly card where it was.
785
01:12:21.638 --> 01:12:23.238
What? What silly card?
786
01:12:25.408 --> 01:12:27.977
I wasn't sure whether to tell you.
787
01:12:28.277 --> 01:12:31.112
What? What are you talking about?
788
01:12:43.627 --> 01:12:46.996
One day I was cleaning the house,
789
01:12:47.960 --> 01:12:51.134
and in his closet I found the underwear
you gave him for Christmas.
790
01:12:52.334 --> 01:12:56.390
I put them away and threw
the box in the trash.
791
01:12:56.739 --> 01:13:00.977
Later, when your father found out
what I had done, he was furious at me.
792
01:13:02.277 --> 01:13:06.282
In the middle of the night, he rose.
793
01:13:06.782 --> 01:13:09.180
I asked him where he was going.
794
01:13:09.118 --> 01:13:14.124
He said, "To pick through the garbage,
like your cousins back in Calcutta."
795
01:13:14.624 --> 01:13:16.893
I woke up minutes later.
796
01:13:17.293 --> 01:13:19.960
The room was very cold.
797
01:13:20.263 --> 01:13:22.999
I found the back door wide open.
798
01:13:23.990 --> 01:13:28.302
Your father slipped in the dark and
fell on the way to retrieve your card.
799
01:13:30.540 --> 01:13:33.676
But he never even opened my cards.
800
01:13:33.776 --> 01:13:37.747
- He didn't care about those things.
- That's precisely what I thought.
801
01:13:38.247 --> 01:13:39.747
But no.
802
01:13:50.894 --> 01:13:53.329
I found them in his desk.
803
01:13:54.273 --> 01:13:55.530
All from you.
804
01:15:14.143 --> 01:15:17.213
You have an appointment with
Dr. Sherman Saturday at 10:00.
805
01:15:17.313 --> 01:15:20.517
- I know you only went once.
- What?
806
01:15:21.117 --> 01:15:22.550
That's non-negotiable.
807
01:15:27.635 --> 01:15:30.894
Yay! Happy birthday.
808
01:15:31.327 --> 01:15:32.595
- Thank you. I love it.
- Oh, good.
809
01:15:32.695 --> 01:15:36.266
It's gorgeous. Thank you so much.
Oh, come on. You didn't have to do that.
810
01:15:36.366 --> 01:15:37.901
I know.
811
01:15:38.301 --> 01:15:40.303
Let's see.
812
01:15:41.103 --> 01:15:42.500
Very cute.
813
01:15:43.306 --> 01:15:45.942
- Aww, that's sweet.
- Very sweet. Thank you.
814
01:15:46.420 --> 01:15:49.450
Whoa, looks like somebody
wants to join the party.
815
01:15:49.145 --> 01:15:51.111
Oh, no, no, I'll get him.
816
01:15:56.685 --> 01:15:59.855
So, what's it like being 43?
817
01:16:00.155 --> 01:16:01.758
Hi, honey.
818
01:16:01.858 --> 01:16:03.426
Same as being 18.
819
01:16:03.526 --> 01:16:08.696
Just, when you get up,
your back is a little stiff, that's all.
820
01:16:14.504 --> 01:16:17.173
There we go. Good boy.
821
01:16:22.145 --> 01:16:24.545
Just your back?
822
01:16:34.323 --> 01:16:36.392
This is your real present.
823
01:16:37.930 --> 01:16:38.959
Oh, yeah.
824
01:16:45.680 --> 01:16:48.370
"To Paul on his 43rd birthday.
825
01:16:48.637 --> 01:16:52.875
"Napping on the sofa, your baby
boy napping in his bouncing chair.
826
01:16:52.975 --> 01:16:55.712
"Two separate lives,
lying so close for a while
827
01:16:55.812 --> 01:16:59.315
"until you both wake up and
become father and son again.
828
01:16:59.415 --> 01:17:04.200
"May you always be like this.
"Sleeping close and awaking close,
829
01:17:04.120 --> 01:17:08.456
"sharing nearly all of your lives.
I wish I could share them too."
830
01:17:09.859 --> 01:17:11.427
It's beautiful.
831
01:17:11.527 --> 01:17:13.429
- Really?
- Yeah.
832
01:17:20.203 --> 01:17:21.836
I'm sorry.
833
01:17:36.452 --> 01:17:41.591
It's okay, it's okay.
You understand, right? I'm sorry.
834
01:17:41.691 --> 01:17:43.690
It's going to be okay.
835
01:17:44.600 --> 01:17:45.926
Okay.
836
01:17:48.970 --> 01:17:49.425
Oh, God.
837
01:17:50.599 --> 01:17:55.502
Being pregnant is like being seasick,
and you can't get off the boat.
838
01:17:56.439 --> 01:17:59.527
The smell of bubble gum, deodorant,
839
01:17:59.627 --> 01:18:04.378
scented candles makes me
want to vomit from my toes.
840
01:18:19.228 --> 01:18:20.530
Hello?
841
01:18:20.830 --> 01:18:24.100
I'm pregnant. And the baby's yours.
842
01:18:24.200 --> 01:18:28.400
So I thought maybe before I got
an abortion, you'd like to discuss it.
843
01:18:28.104 --> 01:18:31.474
Dwayne, you know better. You got to
call me during my office hours, okay?
844
01:18:31.574 --> 01:18:33.607
- Good night.
- Wait...
845
01:18:40.450 --> 01:18:45.455
You don't need antidepressants,
because you're not clinically depressed.
846
01:18:46.550 --> 01:18:50.426
You're grieving.
There's a world of difference.
847
01:18:51.126 --> 01:18:52.794
Not just for your father.
848
01:19:01.671 --> 01:19:06.542
When I was in the second grade I liked to
gross boys out by eating flies and ants.
849
01:19:06.642 --> 01:19:09.176
Even a daddy longlegs once.
850
01:19:10.813 --> 01:19:13.714
In junior high I stopped taking showers.
851
01:19:15.451 --> 01:19:19.555
My mom would say, Why do you want to
treat your body with such disrespect?"
852
01:19:19.655 --> 01:19:23.958
I had no idea why. But now I do.
853
01:19:25.895 --> 01:19:31.367
You probably thought I forgot, but I
remember everything you did to me.
854
01:19:31.667 --> 01:19:34.270
Sometimes I thought maybe you forgot.
855
01:19:35.270 --> 01:19:38.605
But you were a grown man at
the time you molested me.
856
01:19:40.476 --> 01:19:43.880
If you are a Christian,
and I think you are,
857
01:19:43.980 --> 01:19:46.213
then you know what awaits you.
858
01:19:47.650 --> 01:19:49.602
Yours truly,
859
01:19:49.705 --> 01:19:52.222
little Katie next door.
860
01:20:07.470 --> 01:20:09.500
Katie.
861
01:20:09.105 --> 01:20:12.108
- Miss Matsuo.
- How's the grand experiment?
862
01:20:13.108 --> 01:20:15.912
- Excuse me?
- Life without semesters?
863
01:20:16.412 --> 01:20:19.913
- Oh, it's great.
- Good.
864
01:20:21.550 --> 01:20:25.153
Actually, I just lied to you.
It's really, really hard.
865
01:20:27.590 --> 01:20:28.923
I'm sorry.
866
01:20:30.426 --> 01:20:34.696
That's okay. You know,
I... I think it's getting better.
867
01:20:34.796 --> 01:20:38.866
- I think I'm going to be okay.
- Well, you take care.
868
01:21:05.728 --> 01:21:09.320
Well, if it isn't one of my
favourite people in the world.
869
01:21:09.932 --> 01:21:11.698
That's me.
870
01:21:13.201 --> 01:21:14.668
What's wrong?
871
01:21:15.104 --> 01:21:19.341
- Just wanted to come say hi.
- I don't believe that.
872
01:21:19.741 --> 01:21:22.542
Come on in. Tell me
what's going on with you.
873
01:21:27.350 --> 01:21:29.716
I need some advice.
874
01:21:31.753 --> 01:21:33.520
Okay.
875
01:21:35.191 --> 01:21:38.324
But I want to talk to you
about something first.
876
01:21:41.864 --> 01:21:44.901
I didn't quit for the reason I said.
877
01:21:45.301 --> 01:21:48.736
My mom's fiancé found out that
you're a convicted sex offender.
878
01:21:52.975 --> 01:21:55.280
That occurred to me.
879
01:22:01.183 --> 01:22:02.852
I wanted to tell you the truth,
880
01:22:02.952 --> 01:22:05.855
but my mom would have grounded
me until the end of time.
881
01:22:05.955 --> 01:22:07.890
She was afraid for you.
882
01:22:08.690 --> 01:22:12.727
- Well, hello, I'm a girl.
- But you're here now.
883
01:22:15.597 --> 01:22:17.431
What changed?
884
01:22:18.100 --> 01:22:19.567
I need your wisdom.
885
01:22:21.103 --> 01:22:23.737
But I want to know what your crime was.
886
01:22:25.908 --> 01:22:27.176
Why?
887
01:22:28.176 --> 01:22:30.110
I need to know.
888
01:22:38.521 --> 01:22:40.798
It was a long time ago.
889
01:22:43.759 --> 01:22:45.728
Please?
890
01:22:48.364 --> 01:22:50.630
May I have one of those?
891
01:22:53.200 --> 01:22:54.237
You smoke?
892
01:22:54.337 --> 01:22:57.730
I'm what is known in Nicotine Anonymous
893
01:22:57.173 --> 01:23:01.208
as a periodic. I start and stop.
894
01:23:02.812 --> 01:23:06.947
Right now I'm undecided. Have a seat.
895
01:23:12.154 --> 01:23:13.187
There it is.
896
01:23:20.863 --> 01:23:22.796
Where do I begin?
897
01:23:26.335 --> 01:23:30.740
When I was your age, Katie,
I was a very angry,
898
01:23:31.400 --> 01:23:35.444
nasty piece of work.
I was rarely clean or sober.
899
01:23:35.544 --> 01:23:39.810
I had hair down to here and
a full beard, believe it or not.
900
01:23:39.181 --> 01:23:42.852
And when I was 19 years old
I got busted for selling drugs.
901
01:23:42.952 --> 01:23:47.290
So in order to avoid jail
time I enlisted in the Army.
902
01:23:47.390 --> 01:23:50.259
And I just stayed high all the time.
903
01:23:50.359 --> 01:23:54.797
Well, surprise, surprise, I get busted and
dishonorably discharged and sent home.
904
01:23:54.997 --> 01:23:57.520
And I stayed out of trouble for
905
01:23:57.620 --> 01:24:00.469
a very long time, until one
night I got shit-face drunk
906
01:24:00.569 --> 01:24:04.941
and showed up at the house of a
woman I knew who was a prostitute.
907
01:24:05.410 --> 01:24:07.372
Not one that I could afford,
908
01:24:07.472 --> 01:24:11.507
but she had a soft spot for vets.
And the last thing I remember was,
909
01:24:11.607 --> 01:24:15.417
she pulled out a bottle
of rum and a tab of acid.
910
01:24:15.517 --> 01:24:17.753
So when I woke up in
jail the next morning,
911
01:24:17.853 --> 01:24:22.486
I had no choice but to take her word for
what happened. And the word of the...
912
01:24:22.986 --> 01:24:25.906
emergency room doctor, of course.
913
01:24:27.195 --> 01:24:28.769
I did not...
914
01:24:28.869 --> 01:24:32.869
rape her in the way that most
people would define that term,
915
01:24:32.969 --> 01:24:35.305
but it was a very,
916
01:24:36.500 --> 01:24:37.800
cruel...
917
01:24:38.200 --> 01:24:41.208
sexual assault, and I paid the price.
918
01:24:46.314 --> 01:24:50.519
Now, tell me what's wrong with you.
919
01:24:51.219 --> 01:24:52.753
I'm pregnant.
920
01:25:00.629 --> 01:25:03.866
I'm just... I'm too
young to have a baby.
921
01:25:04.166 --> 01:25:07.103
And I know... I know I
should get an abortion.
922
01:25:07.203 --> 01:25:11.474
But days keep passing by,
and I don't make the appointment.
923
01:25:14.710 --> 01:25:19.480
I just... I think I'm
scared to go alone.
924
01:25:19.448 --> 01:25:20.881
I think it's more than that.
925
01:25:24.190 --> 01:25:28.424
I think you're afraid to go at all.
And for good reason.
926
01:25:29.624 --> 01:25:31.627
Because if you do this,
927
01:25:32.926 --> 01:25:35.831
there's no telling how
you'll feel about it later.
928
01:25:36.431 --> 01:25:38.301
You're afraid you'll regret it.
929
01:25:39.201 --> 01:25:40.601
Maybe.
930
01:25:42.938 --> 01:25:45.100
But, you know,
931
01:25:45.201 --> 01:25:50.110
very few people ever
regret having had a child.
932
01:25:51.247 --> 01:25:53.780
- Is that true?
- Absolutely.
933
01:25:54.150 --> 01:25:57.253
You want some more wisdom?
No extra charge.
934
01:25:58.448 --> 01:26:02.910
- Please.
- Stop drinking and smoking immediately.
935
01:26:03.396 --> 01:26:06.620
And you must never see any
of these men ever again.
936
01:26:06.562 --> 01:26:08.130
Dump Paul?
937
01:26:08.230 --> 01:26:11.700
- No, no, he'll freak out.
- Please, please, Katie, listen to me.
938
01:26:12.859 --> 01:26:16.691
When a married man is having an
affair with a beautiful, young girl,
939
01:26:16.791 --> 01:26:20.768
no matter how much he feels for that girl,
he's always relieved when it's over
940
01:26:20.868 --> 01:26:24.313
because he knows he's been
playing a dangerous game,
941
01:26:24.413 --> 01:26:26.514
and he's lucky to escape alive.
942
01:26:29.251 --> 01:26:32.956
- He doesn't love me?
- Not the way you think.
943
01:26:33.456 --> 01:26:35.591
But if I dump Paul,
944
01:26:36.191 --> 01:26:37.691
then I lose my job.
945
01:26:40.963 --> 01:26:45.000
Well, you could always
come back and work here.
946
01:26:45.500 --> 01:26:47.469
Yeah, my mom would kill me.
947
01:26:47.669 --> 01:26:50.907
You don't need her permission anymore.
You're an adult.
948
01:26:51.107 --> 01:26:53.281
- She'd kick me out of the house...
- You know what?
949
01:26:53.681 --> 01:26:56.646
There just happens to be an
empty room above my garage,
950
01:26:56.746 --> 01:26:59.246
and you're welcome to it, rent-free.
951
01:27:00.750 --> 01:27:03.846
You have to start making your
own decisions, young lady.
952
01:27:04.920 --> 01:27:08.121
Now, come on. I got to close up.
And I'll give you a lift.
953
01:27:10.526 --> 01:27:12.761
Read any good books lately?
954
01:27:12.861 --> 01:27:17.565
No. Not even a bad one.
But I've sort of been writing.
955
01:27:19.368 --> 01:27:22.200
I thought you'd be proud
that I have a blog.
956
01:27:23.205 --> 01:27:26.275
I like that it's creative
and that it's verbal.
957
01:27:26.375 --> 01:27:29.445
What I don't like is that it's public.
958
01:27:29.945 --> 01:27:33.181
Your generation is
addicted to attention.
959
01:27:34.249 --> 01:27:35.618
I know.
960
01:27:35.718 --> 01:27:38.387
It's like we all want to be famous,
even though we're not good at anything.
961
01:27:38.487 --> 01:27:41.924
Precisely.
You sure I can't give you a lift?
962
01:27:42.124 --> 01:27:44.293
I like to walk.
963
01:27:44.993 --> 01:27:48.626
- All right, then.
- All right.
964
01:27:49.980 --> 01:27:52.999
- Thanks for all the advice.
- You're welcome.
965
01:28:13.522 --> 01:28:15.289
Something else you might consider.
966
01:28:17.893 --> 01:28:20.561
I can understand how you feel,
967
01:28:20.661 --> 01:28:23.926
how you think you're not
ready to be a mother. But...
968
01:28:24.336 --> 01:28:27.967
have the baby anyway. What's the harm?
969
01:28:29.772 --> 01:28:33.275
I'll raise it as my own, and you
can come and go as you please.
970
01:28:33.575 --> 01:28:35.876
You can be as much of a
mother as you care to be.
971
01:28:48.424 --> 01:28:51.360
If I don't do what you want me to,
972
01:28:51.860 --> 01:28:54.328
then could I still work
here and live with you?
973
01:28:57.366 --> 01:28:59.564
Of course.
974
01:30:11.600 --> 01:30:14.184
I want to thank everyone who
wrote to tell me I'm a baby killer
975
01:30:14.284 --> 01:30:17.745
even though I haven't even
decided what I'm going to do yet.
976
01:31:02.724 --> 01:31:06.862
If I move in with Glenn,
it's the beginning of my adult life.
977
01:31:07.362 --> 01:31:10.290
On my own for the first time.
978
01:31:11.633 --> 01:31:14.501
It's a perfect time to stop blogging.
979
01:31:21.209 --> 01:31:26.682
Can I do it? Just live without
describing everything I do?
980
01:31:26.882 --> 01:31:31.653
Can I cancel my reality show
and become a better person?
981
01:31:31.753 --> 01:31:35.624
Do human beings ever dream a whole
new life and make it come true?
982
01:31:35.724 --> 01:31:38.825
Or do they always go back
to the way they were?
983
01:31:43.000 --> 01:31:47.870
I guess there's only one way to find out.
Say goodbye to all of you
984
01:31:47.970 --> 01:31:51.705
and just live. Really live.
985
01:31:56.311 --> 01:32:01.820
My name is Carol Granthum.
I'm the mother of Amy Granthum,
986
01:32:01.182 --> 01:32:04.184
whom you know as Katie Kampenfelt.
987
01:32:06.121 --> 01:32:08.957
A few minutes after
posting her final blog,
988
01:32:09.570 --> 01:32:12.461
someone called Amy
from a blocked number.
989
01:32:12.961 --> 01:32:16.763
The call lasted a minute and 38 seconds.
990
01:32:21.303 --> 01:32:25.885
A few minutes later Amy got in her car,
991
01:32:25.985 --> 01:32:29.711
drove away and never came back.
992
01:32:30.111 --> 01:32:32.846
No one's seen or heard from her since.
993
01:32:39.121 --> 01:32:44.593
She hasn't withdrawn any money from
the bank or even used her cell phone.
994
01:32:45.693 --> 01:32:48.597
The police believe the person
who called Amy that night
995
01:32:48.697 --> 01:32:52.432
could very well hold the
key to her whereabouts.
996
01:32:55.404 --> 01:32:58.573
I'm writing because I need your help.
997
01:32:58.873 --> 01:33:01.377
Please keep reading.
998
01:33:02.977 --> 01:33:05.614
I have hired a private investigator.
999
01:33:05.714 --> 01:33:08.851
He's questioned everyone in Amy's life.
1000
01:33:08.951 --> 01:33:11.500
He showed them her blog.
1001
01:33:14.220 --> 01:33:18.570
To hide her identity,
she changed names and details.
1002
01:33:22.798 --> 01:33:27.869
Her boyfriend Aiden says everything
Amy wrote about him is true.
1003
01:33:27.969 --> 01:33:30.605
He has a terrible temper,
1004
01:33:30.905 --> 01:33:34.107
but he insists that he
would never harm her.
1005
01:33:36.578 --> 01:33:42.500
Dan is not actually a college professor.
He manages a video store.
1006
01:33:42.150 --> 01:33:46.588
He says Amy's description of their
relationship was mostly accurate,
1007
01:33:46.688 --> 01:33:49.556
but that she never told
him she was pregnant.
1008
01:33:53.428 --> 01:33:58.533
The couple she works for dispute only
the most important fact of the blog.
1009
01:33:58.933 --> 01:34:02.535
The husband denies any
sexual involvement.
1010
01:34:08.900 --> 01:34:10.445
Jake Seidler is devastated.
1011
01:34:10.545 --> 01:34:14.181
He regrets the cruelty of
his last voice message.
1012
01:34:20.321 --> 01:34:23.859
Amy's best friend Noelle
is a drug addict.
1013
01:34:24.259 --> 01:34:25.968
She has a blocked phone number,
1014
01:34:26.680 --> 01:34:31.130
but she says that she did not call
Amy on the night she disappeared.
1015
01:34:34.202 --> 01:34:36.638
Roy Olson, her boss,
1016
01:34:36.738 --> 01:34:40.375
says word Amy wrote about him is true
1017
01:34:40.475 --> 01:34:44.343
except that he never
offered to raise her child.
1018
01:34:49.451 --> 01:34:53.588
If any of you exchanged
e-mails or phone calls with Amy
1019
01:34:53.688 --> 01:34:57.426
in which she shared any information
that might help us to locate her
1020
01:34:57.526 --> 01:35:00.460
please, please write to me here.
1021
01:35:04.966 --> 01:35:09.237
Amy is a wonderful girl
with a remarkable spirit.
1022
01:35:09.337 --> 01:35:13.139
She's my life, my whole heart.
1023
01:35:16.111 --> 01:35:17.613
Since her disappearance,
1024
01:35:18.113 --> 01:35:23.818
on nights when I can't sleep I
read and reread Amy's postings.
1025
01:35:23.918 --> 01:35:29.910
I read all of your e-mails and comments too,
even the most vicious of them.
1026
01:35:29.791 --> 01:35:34.620
I ask myself: Who would
want to hurt my daughter?
1027
01:35:34.362 --> 01:35:36.432
I hear the answer:
1028
01:35:36.732 --> 01:35:38.831
everyone.
78509
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.