All language subtitles for A summer job 1978

There's a Mustang '66.
We could turn that into a '65...

with no trouble. There's a Volkswagen.

Hey, let's do a dune buggy!

Hey, no foreign cars, huh, man?

Here's a Chrysler lmperial.
Look at the fins in it! You like it?

-Yeah!
-No way!

Hey, keep your eyes peeled for a Packard.

Want to do a Camaro?

Now don't get me wrong.
l got nothing against Ford products.

Kuchinsky, climb under there and tell
me if that cross-member is straight.

Come on, cut that out.

-Yeah, it's straight! There's no springs.
-No, wait!

Dantley, where you going?
Come on back here!

Don't you see what this is?
lt's a Corvette! A Stingray!

Hey, stop this machine! This is it!

Drop that car!

Can you believe your eyes? A Corvette!

Hey, mister, please stop it!

Stop it!

Stop the crane, for Christ's sake, will you?

Hey!

Hey, stop that machine!

What do you push?

Easy! Keep it coming.

Keep it coming! Whoa, hold it.

-Kenny?
-Hi, Mom.

Oh, what happened?
Did you forget your key?

Yeah.

But, don't you remember,
there's one in the mailbox.

l guess l took it.

l left my key ring at the lounge.

-lt's late isn't it? What time is it?
-l don't know. Late.

Who were you out with tonight?

That's Mr. Borodino. He's in real estate.

-Why?
-l don't know.

l thought l heard a water pump
going in that car of his.

He ought to look at that. Got the key?

Have fun tonight? Did you have a date?

Not really.

Say...

aren't you gonna give me a kiss?

Come on! Give your old mother a kiss.
Haven't seen you all day.

Hi, Bernie. No, it's not late.

Come on over.

Hello, Dave, it's Ed McGrath.
Yes, l am passing the hat again.

Only this time, l was wondering if
you folks could see your way clear...

to contributing a set of BFG TA's.
Yeah, l know...

but it's for a good cause.

l'm pleased to see that...

my efforts this past quarter
haven't entirely been in vain.

Most of you will find yourselves on
the plus side of the bell curve at midterm.

Stephanie.

With, notable exceptions...

l'm glad to have you join us today,
Dantley.

Sally, Jane.

Ricci, don't try to be heroic. Watch that.

Who's in here?

Dantley!

l didn't think l'd see you tonight.

Mr. McGrath, you a dance monitor?

You look like something off
The Lawrence Welk Show.

Knock it off, kid, l'm enjoying myself.

What are you doing in here, anyway?

l don't know.

l was thinking, maybe we should've
lowered that spoiler.

Maybe even gone for a wing or a fastback.

What are you giving me? lt's perfect.
Be proud of it!

Yeah, you're right. lt is perfect.

Listen, Dantley...

don't you go bad on me.
l don't wanna read in the paper you're...

sticking up filling stations
to support your car habit.

You're a good kid. Talented kid. But l wish
you'd done better in your classes.

What's the difference? l'm out, aren't l?

Okay, comedian, joke about it.

But l had high hopes.
Better attitude, better grades...

couple of years in junior college and l
see one of my boys in the art center.

Come on, don't you get on me.

l had a good year.

Here. To General Motors.

-Wine?
-Scotch.

Listen, Dantley, Kenny...

l've been around automobiles all my life.

They're mechanical devices,
they always let you down.

You buy them, you drive them, you
break them, you fix them, you sell them.

Goods in the market place.
Easy come, easy go.

Don't get too attached to this car.

You don't fool me, Mr. McGrath.
You might have seen a lot of cars...

but you love this one just as much as l do.

Okay, everybody, next stop,
Van Nuys Boulevard.

Hey!

Breaker, Shop Craft One.
How could you love Corvettes?

This is the Top Hat in the Dragging Wagon.

Hiya, folks.

Dig it, boys and girls.

They cannot believe this right-hand drive!

And my, what do we have here?

This is a field trip, Dantley,
not a race track.

Get back here and give
someone else a turn.

-l'm warning you, Dantley!
-Come on, step on it, Dantley.

-Cut it out!
-Come on!

Hold it up! Come on!

Are we gonna let this little creep wreck it?

Yeah, why should you drive it, jerk?
You never worked on it.

Hey, l helped. l got a right.

Come on, let him drive it.

-He kept the floors clean.
-All right!

Don't wait up for me guys.

No, you idiot!

Hey, congratulations, Kenny.

You know, that's
the greatest car l ever saw?

-Thanks.
-Did you ever think about going pro?

Yeah, get some Polaroids
and go to Detroit.

-l've been thinking about it.
-Yeah?

Polaroids...

hell, l'm gonna drive that thing right
up to General Motors' front door.

-Bet your life, man!
-Bet your life.

McGrath to Stingray.

Okay, Kootz, let's call it a night.

Roger, l'm making my turn.
What a great car.

Do you see Tommy's in front of you?

Yeah, l see it, and they see me.

Then run in there and get eight
large Cokes and a Sprite for me.

-You got that?
-Roger, wilco, 10-4, over and out.

And, Kootz, take the keys.

Do you copy, Kootz? Come in, Corvette.
Come in.

Rotten kid!

Where the hell is that little bastard,
anyway?

l'm telling you l know what happened.

He slopped the drinks on the seat
and he's too scared to face us.

Come in, Kootz! Come in, Kootz!
Stingray, do you read me?

There he is!

No, that's not him !

Oh, yes, it is!

You said to get Cokes. l got them here.
l took the keys. They're in my pocket.

l was only in there a minute.
She waited on me right away.

They never started it. l would have heard!
They must've towed it away.

How about that, Officer,
you towing cars tonight?

No, sir. And this is legal parking.
Did you leave the car running, son?

Of course l didn't leave it running. The
keys are right here! You said get Cokes.

l didn't want no Cokes!
Who said l was thirsty?

l want my car. Kootz...

you little shit, you lost it!

Cut it out!

Look out! Look out!

Kootz, cut it out!

Don't we have enough trouble here?

Don't worry, son. We'll get your car back.

Unfortunately, your car was a Corvette.
They are the favorite target...

of your professional car ring.
Corvette, Porsche...

'67 lmpala, Buick Riviera,
dune buggies, and now...

they're getting into your RV's.

-What about your Toronado?
-That's right, sir.

Your principal had his car taken two
years ago, and it was never recovered.

Frankly, we feel that there's
a ring working right here in this area...

and no matter what you've
heard in your math class...

some things are worth more
than the sum of their parts.

Stingray front clip,
we're talking about $750 right there.

No, l'm sorry to say so,
but that's it for your machine.

lt's out of state, and it's in pieces.

l understand you have insurance.

That's it?

What is this, a kiss-off,
bye-bye, after all the work we did?

What are you doing here?

-You ought to be out there looking for it!
-Sit down, Dantley!

Look, son, l know how you feel.

You might as well resign yourselves.
You're never gonna see that car again.

No one's gonna break that car up!

l don't buy that sum-of-the-parts crap!

Come on, you guys have seen.

lt's the best looking street machine
on the West Coast!

No one's gonna lay a finger on it!

-Fill her up?
-Nope.

Gonna fill you up!
Promise them anything...

but give them Arpege.

Here you go.

-Yeah.
-Beg your pardon?

-Yeah, l sure as hell have!
-Have what?

Kid, this car is in Las Vegas.

Well, what are you talking about?
You seen it?

Sure, l saw it!
lt was in one of those big casinos.

You know, on a mirror
going round and round.

-lt's on display! Where?
-Yeah....

Where?

Hell, l can't remember.
l was out with a client, you know...

on The Strip.

All right, wait, now this was a Corvette.
Right?

-Candy-apple?
-Candy-apple, metal flake.

Superior mags? Mercury tubes?
Gabriel shocks?

Kid, this is the car
you're looking for, right?

-Yeah.
-This is the car l saw.

-Hey, man, where you going? Las Vegas?
-Yeah.

Far out, dude.
We take you the whole way. Jump in.

What's this supposed to be,
anyway, a Hurst?

-What's the matter, you don't like cars?
-Sure l like cars.

-l love them.
-Yeah, you like cars.

What kind of ride you like?
Charger? Camaro?

Corvette?

-Yeah, you got it.
-Sure, l got it. Corvette, Anglo?

Anglo, Corvette.

What's wrong with a Corvette? lt's all GM.

Man, what does a GM have to do with it?

Excuse me...

-17 miles an hour?
-Fifteen.

On the interstate? What are you doing,
looking for a contact lens?

You paddies crack me up.
You're still doing your speed number?

Yeah, well, what are you into...

-miles per gallon?
-Class. We're into class!

Okay, l gotta get out now.

No, we're gonna go to
Los huevos, remember?

Now listen, friend, just let me out, okay?

Tell you what,
you don't even have to stop.

Hasta la vista.

-Thanks for stopping.
-What?

Wait a minute! Huh?

-Thanks for picking me up.
-Oh, yeah...

l thought you were hitchhiking,
only you didn't have your thumb out.

You wanna hitchhike, you gotta stick
something out. Where you from?

Newhall.

You go to MacArthur High?

-No, l just graduated.
-No kidding!

l go to San Fernando.
What are you going to Vegas for?

l'm looking for my car.

Somebody stole my Stingray
and the word's out it's in Vegas.

-You've got a Corvette?
-Oh, sure.

-This is a nice van you got here.
-Yeah, really...

but you can't tell from up front.
Go on back and check it out.

-Nice. Who did the work?
-Some friends of mine, you know...

in exchange for services rendered.

Services? What kind of services?

You know what l mean.
Hey, bring us up a couple of cold ones...

would you, and we'll talk about it.

So, what are you going to Vegas for?
A summer job?

Full time, sugar, from now on.

Hey, how old are you?

You know what l'm talking about,
you've met girls like me.

l guess.

l'm a hooker, for Christ's sake!

A what? You mean, like a prostitute?

Well, you know, like a trainee, anyway.

l mean, there comes a time
when every amateur goes pro.

-What are you doing?
-l gotta get ready.

l'm pulling over.

Holy smoke!

Hi.

l'll tell you what,
you can be my first customer.

Boy, you gotta be kidding.

No, l'm not.

So what do you think l'm worth?

Oh, no, l wouldn't know that.
No, l'd hate to say.

-Check it out and look what l got here.
-No, l'd hate to say.

Name a figure. Make me an offer?

-$15?
-$15?

What do you think l am, an old prune?

You were the one who
wanted me to make an offer.

What did you say? Did you say $15 or $50?

$50! l said $50. That's what l said, $50.

-That's more like it.
-Yeah.

You got yourself a deal, Jack.
Let's jump in the back.

Hey, wait a minute, l wasn't making a bid!

l know, l know, you never paid
for it before in your life...

but then again you never had me.

Look, this is my stop and
really nice riding with you...

really was, but will you hand
me my gear, please?

-Now, don't be like that!
-Okay, come on.

Here's the thing, l didn't wanna....
Give me my gear.

My final offer. $20.

Maybe some other time.

Hey, wait! What's your name, anyway?

You can read, can't you?

''Vanessa.''

-Excuse me, sir?
-Yes, sir?

-A room? Your name, please?
-No room.

-l'm looking for a car.
-The garage is one floor down.

-Elevator to your right.
-No, wait, see...

-you got a car in the lobby on a mirror?
-No, we sure don't, sir.

Yes, sir? Thank you very much. Excuse me.

Please, sir, it's a Stingray '73.

Yes, l heard, a car on a mirror.
That's one thing we don't have.

Excuse me.

You look like a winner.
You know, you really do.

You look like a winner.
l got something over here...

l'd like you to see.
Just something right here. Come here.

My friend and l here,
we are a little short on cash.

You got $70 on you?
Most of these are real diamonds.

No, hey, $100, the whole set.
What are you gonna do...

say no to a Bulova?

No, see, l'm from out of town,
and l don't want anything.

He's from out of town. All right, l got you.
We'll catch you later, champ.

-Excuse me, sir?
-Yes, sir.

l know this sounds crazy, but
you don't have a car in there, do you?

lnside to your left, near the lounge.

Wait, l'm talking about
a full-sized automobile.

You can call it what you want.
lt's just a goddamn hotrod!

A Datsun? lt's a Datsun!

Yeah, l know. You'd think
they'd at least have a Cadillac.

l was told it was a Corvette.

Don't take it so hard.

Why don't we try someplace else?

$4.80.

Oh, God!

My wallet's gone.

Most of them are real diamonds!

What did you have in mind, sonny,
double or nothing?

Look, l gotta have some food.
Let me wash dishes for it.

There ain't any dishes. lt's all paper.
Beat it!

-Hey, give the kid his food!
-Are you good for it?

Am l good for it? Listen, l'm not only
good for it, l'll make it interesting.

You said double or nothing?
How about 4-to-1? How about 10-to-1?

Heads.

l love it! l love it! Go ahead, kid, eat up.

-What's the catch?
-There's no catch.

Boy, are you dirty!

Hey, just call me Gladstone Duck.

l mean, it is the damndest thing.
l cannot lose for trying.

l've been in this town 18 hours.
l made $18,000.

l've heard of it happening to other guys...

but to think it could happen to me is....

Makes you believe in the Almighty.

Well, this is it.
lt's time for me to go, and l know it.

Let me give you some advice, kid. quit
while you're ahead. Get out of Vegas.

You're not going to Los Angeles,
by any chance?

No.

l'm gonna run this baby back to Avis
and catch the first plane to Portland.

Okay. See you.

Hey, kid, look...

you're in a bad way,
and l tell you what l'm gonna do.

l'm gonna pass my lucky streak onto you.

-A $2 bill?
-Hey, that's what l started with.

Morning.

Climb in! Hi!

Hey!

Hey, stop!

Hey, that's quite a car.

We shouldn't have any trouble
picking it up. Get a license number?

No problem. lt's one of a kind.
Totally unique.

Well, l'm sure it is to your eyes, but
there's a lot of fancy cars in this town.

You absolutely positive you weren't...

running after
somebody else's automobile?

No way. Look at the picture.

-See what l did with the wheel?
-Which wheel?

-The steering wheel.
-Yeah, what about it?

-lt's right-hand drive.
-So it is.

-What do you know!
-Hey, listen...

maybe you can let me ride around...

with a couple patrolmen,
that way l could help them spot it.

Son, the Las Vegas Police Department...

is one of the finest in the country.
l think we can handle it.

Dear mr. mcgrath, l've tracked
the Corvette to Las v egas, nevada.

lt's here. l saw it.

Someone probably won it in a card game.

Bet you 4-to-1 l find it. get it?

Don't worry about me, l won't gamble.
l don't have the money for it.

goodbye for now.
Sincerely, Kenny Dantley.

p.S. Lots of incredible cars here.

Shit!

-Damn it!
-Hi!

Jesus Christ!

Sorry l scared you. Do you remember me?

Oh, yeah. Love your shawl!

The men's room's open.

-Do l look like a man?
-Who's gonna bother you?

-What are you doing here, anyway?
-l got a place nearby.

Rent's right.

You're sleeping in a U-Haul.

Forget it!

Get in my van! Make yourself comfortable.

l'm all right where l am.

How are you doing?
Life on the street kind of rough?

l've seen rougher. l just got started
on the wrong foot, that's all.

Blue jeans, kiss of death.

You ever seen those $100 models
that work the hotels?

See the way they dress? How they look?

You look cheap, you are cheap,
and it's all downhill from there.

No, l gotta get me an outfit. You know...

something sophisticated.
Black velvet with a little choker ribbon.

So what are you doing out here
freezing to death?

Get in the van!

There's food in the fridge.

How do you like that ocean motion?

Great, really great.

You know,
l hear some people keep fish in them.

-You got a girlfriend?
-No. Well, no one special.

-You ever go out?
-Yeah, sure.

Anybody ever tell you you're cute?

Well, you are.

Hey, you know what l got on under here?

Paper towels.

Nothing. My streaker suit.

You're gonna spend the night.

You're gonna spend it with me.

Comprende, amigo?

Sure, l'm cool.

So, peel off those duds, sailor,
and let me see what you got.

Fine.

-Mind if l close the curtains?
-Go ahead.

Here's one.

All right.

Here, take my towel, would you,
and hang it on something.

Are you okay?

Yeah. l was just.... Dumb knot here....

ln my shoelace. l don't know.

Wait a minute!

This is a real honor.

What do you mean?

l'm gonna be your first woman.

No, l've been through this a lot.
A whole lot.

-Real often.
-No, you haven't.

Come here. Mama will help.

l know just how you feel.

As a matter of fact...

there are a lot of moves
that l haven't tried yet.

-Moves?
-Yeah.

Maneuvers, which are gonna be
very important in my line of work.

You don't mind do you?

Hey, where are you going?

Nowhere. l just kind of thought
things might work out a lot better...

if l slept over here.

Sure is a heck of a lot longer
than that old U-Haul.

Are you putting me on?

No, it's just...

l gotta get some sleep.
l'm really out on my feet.

Hey, come on, what are you doing?

Nothing. Where's your wallet, anyway?

...and stay out of my pockets.

Look, we gotta have some rules
around here.

You spend the night, you get charged.

-What? l never laid a hand on you.
-l don't care! You've got a lot of nerve!

What are you so mad at?

You had your chance. That'll be $20!

Would you stop the hooker stuff?

Cough it up! You spent the whole night!
lt ought to be $40.

No way. l didn't do anything.

You stink. Boy, do l need a pimp!

You want money? You've got it.
Everything l got, l give to you.

All payment for services rendered.

-l hate you.
-Oh, yeah?

-That's telling her, kid.
-What do you want?

This is my gas station. l like your style.

You ever pump gas?

quiet down.

lt's me.
Yeah, l was just going over my mail.

l got a postcard here from Kenny Dantley.

He's in Las Vegas.

That's the idea.

Looks just like a new one, don't it? You
know something, kid? You catch on fast.

And, as of today,
l am promoting you to salesman.

l have just seen your first needy motorist.

Wait a minute. Take these...

-and drop them in her battery.
-What? Alka-Seltzer?

Yeah. Plop, plop, fizz, fizz?
Can you handle it?

Yeah, sure.

-Fill her up?
-Yeah, please.

And may l check under your hood, ma'am?

And, what? Shall l look under your hood?

Yeah, okay.

What have we here? Foam.

Battery problems. Are you traveling far?

Across the desert.
Well, fortunately for you...

we have a special sale on new batteries.

-l was wondering--
-You're doing great, kid. Now listen...

l want you to cut her fan belt.
This is my magic ring.

-Hold on, Gil.
-No, just a flick, a snip...

just a nick, that's all.
Now, here, take this battery.

Hey, will you forget the battery?
Look, she doesn't have any cash.

-She just lost it all playing blackjack.
-That's what they all say.

No, she can't even pay for the gas.
Look at her credit card. lt's expired, see?

Stop!

Maybe we can mail her the bill.

-Hello, cheapskate!
-Hi.

Well, looks like l lost a quart of
quaker State, two sets of wiper blades....

-l got some hot news. Get in.
-Oh, my God, where's my STP?

They even took my credit card machine
and my anteater.

-Dantley, you're in trouble!
-l'm working now. l'll see you around.

-Your job can wait, it's important.
-Who put beer in here?

-Can l maybe--
-No, you don't, Dantley.

You're working overtime
because this is all your fault!

Don't listen to him ! He can take a ride
if he wants to! What do you think...

you're running here?
A prison farm? Let's go. v�monos.

-So, what's the hot news?
-You're unemployed.

Very funny.

What are you supposed to be now?
A nurse?

A beautician.

l got a job in a hotel beauty shop.
Hey, did you notice l frosted my tips?

-lt's neat, huh?
-Wonderful.

ls that what you came to tell me? l mean,
l lost a job because you frosted your tips?

Take it easy.

What about the hooker number?
What happened to that?

Nothing. This just gives me a chance
to get my act together.

Hey, can l tell you something?
You're never gonna be a prostitute.

You haven't got it in you.

You're right.

As a matter of fact, there are
no prostitutes in Las Vegas.

-Look at this.
-''Good Company, Escorts.'' Oh, God.

-What do you think of the name Rosalind?
-Rosalind?

-What's wrong with Vanessa?
-First of all, it's not my name.

-My real name's Eleanor.
-Eleanor?

Second of all, l'm not sure that
Vanessa's got the right tone to it.

lt might be a mistake for me. Rosalind.

Hey, that's my car!

How about a lift?

Come on in.

There he is.

Are you out of your mind?

-Kenny, it's a red light.
-Go through it. That's my car up there.

-l can't move, it's illegal.
-What do you call auto theft?

Will you hit it, please?

-Would you just sit down and shut up?
-Don't be such a girl. Oh, God.

God, we're losing him.

Kenny, C-O-P.

Oh, perfect. lt's a stolen car!

Okay, son, what's the problem here?
You take the wrong pill this morning?

This is what l'm talking about.
Now, can we go, please?

We still got a damn good chance. This
Dodge has the performance pack right?

Are you kidding me?

lt's not even his car,
it belongs to the school.

What a nut.

lt's not even your car!

So what? l built it!
Look, could we discuss this later?

-After we catch him?
-Hey, slow down, friend.

Radio, even faster than rubber!

-You did get the license number, right?
-License number?

-Nevada. P-R-B 23.
-Thank you, miss.

On your vehicle lD check, stolen nevada
p-R-B-2-3...

we show no such nevada registration.

Repeat. no such nevada registration.

lt's a forgery. They forged it.

Dear mr. mcgrath, l saw the car again...

but it eluded my grasp.

l know the world is full of crooks...

but Jail is too good
for the guy who's driving it.

Well, at least he's kept it waXed.

Would you believe it?
l met a girl with this van.

l think she likes me.

-Well, that's all for now. Sincerely....
-Kenny?

What are you writing?

p.S. That spoiler still looks
kind of high to me.

What is that?

A letter to mommy?

No, it's to a friend of mine.
One of my teachers.

Teachers. They're worse than parents,
l hate them all.

There's teachers and there's teachers,
this one's different.

-He helped me with the car.
-Oh, the car.

The car, l should've guessed.
Hey, l got a terrific idea.

Why don't you write a letter to the car?

''Dear car...

''l miss you so much....''

-What are you doing?
-Mixing screwdrivers.

-Want some?
-No, thanks.

-Come on, vitamin C.
-Not for me.

l gotta do this. l'm in training.

A girl can't hold her liquor, falls asleep
with her trick, and then where is she?

Asleep on her trick.

ls that a fact?

What do you drink? Motor oil?

You can make jokes about a lot of things,
l just don't wanna hear any jokes...

about my car until l get it back, okay?

-Sorry.
-Yeah, you're sorry.

l'm sorry.

The trouble with you is, you just
don't know what a Corvette is.

-Hand me a washcloth, would you?
-lt's not any ordinary car. lt's....

l mean...

families don't buy them to go
to the supermarket in.

A Corvette's a man's car.

l mean...

a woman might buy one...

but that's only to get noticed in.

A man drives a Corvette because
that's what it is. lt's a Corvette.

Where are my pajamas?

Would you give them to me?

lt's fast, powerful.

Handles.

lt's beautiful.

lt's the only sports car made in America...

and it happens to be very important to me.

l know.

lt's a terrific car.

What's that?

lt's a kiss.

l was kissing you.

What do you want to kiss for?

Let's screw.

Yeah, sure.

You didn't say a word about my souvenir.

You gave it to me.

My first cash sale.

Some souvenir.

Come on, Kenny.

You wanna kiss?

l can kiss.

l drive my first car at nine...

l overhaul my first transmission at 10.

At 13, l turned a quarter mile
in under 12 seconds.

And l wait till now to get laid?

Love is a many

splendored thing

Excuse me. Can you tell me where
Mrs. Dantley is, please?

She's right back there.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

Mrs. Dantley?

Mrs. Dantley?

Yes?

l'm Ed McGrath, Kenny's shop teacher.

Oh, yes, l've heard so much about you.

Excuse me.

l was wondering if you've got
Kenny's current address.

Current address? l haven't
heard from him since school let out.

-Look out, Beefy.
-Well, he's in Las Vegas.

Did you know that?

Hey, Fred. Did you hear that?

Kenny went to Las Vegas.

Who does he think he is, Nick the Greek?

-He's not in any trouble, is he?
-No, no.

No trouble. He's fine.

Oh, what a relief. Thank goodness.

We're moving and l have a lot on my mind.

You going far?

No. Del Mar.

What about Kenny?

Oh, don't worry, he'll find me.

Say, maybe you could tell him.
That would simplify things.

Oh, fine. Sure. When l see him...

l'll tell him his mother moved to Del Mar.

Dear mr. mcgrath...

guess what?

l'm going steady with a girl
from Los angeles.

Wait till you meet her.

Don't get me wrong. l still like cars.

l will find that Corvette sooner or later.

l'm not worried because
Las v egas isn't all that big.

Yours truly, Kenny.

Nice. Mighty nice.

-Do you like it?
-l'll say.

-What can l do for you?
-l'm looking for a car.

Not bad. Nice little car.

You kidding me? Nicer than this one.

Bad guys came and took it away from me.

Sorry to hear that.

-Yeah. You ever see it around?
-No.

Too bad.

Hey, kid. You ought to be careful.

You run up against a car thief...

you're liable to wind up
at the bottom of Lake Mead.

l'll remember that.

Stop what you're doing.

-What's up?
-Get the Corvette. Prepare it.

We're gonna paint.

''Working. Back late.''

Oh, boy. Working late.

l'll bet you are.

...he said it was a lipstick commercial,
so naturally, l believed him.

Honey, when they say movie,
just move on.

You really make me sick. You know that?

Order, please.

Yeah, give me an Everything Dog...

Danny's Diamond Dog, large order of fries,
and a Cherry-Lime Rickey.

Kenny?

You really take the cake, you know that?

What's the matter?
Didn't you get my note?

lt's Friday night.
l've got to work late weekends.

How long you been here?
What happened to the beauty parlor?

l quit. Nobody accuses me of petty theft.

Anyway, you're gonna be
real glad l got this job.

-What, free food from now on?
-Yeah, but that's not all.

Every car in this city...

either comes through or goes by here.

So?

l'm helping you, dope.
l'm helping you find your car.

Batter up, girls.

That's $14 even.

That's mine.

Were you worried about me?

Little bit.

Relax.

l'm on your side.

Take me back home

Bring me back home, baby

You know l love you

and l'm never gonna leave you

Hey, brother, get out of there.

No way, man, l smell a big tip coming.

-Come on, get the hell out of there.
-Hey, man, no.

-l'm taking it.
-You ain't taking nothing, man.

There's enough for everybody.

-Here you go.
-Thanks a lot, man.

-Hold it, partner, this is your car?
-Yeah.

-You brought this in here?
-Yeah.

Then you're not going anywhere.

Why not?

-Because you stole this car.
-l'm out of this.

l mean, you all do what you wanna do.

Bye-bye, little buddy.

Hey, sorry, man. l didn't see you.

-Are you all right?
-Yeah, l'm fine.

Hey. My bike!

-Hey, what the hell are you doing?
-Pull over.

Hey, will you get off my car?
Get off this car, you little creep!

Hey. l'm calling the cops.

-You wanna play?
-Pull over!

Oh, yeah, l'll give you a pull over.

Get back here, you....

Hey, Wayne, get out here.

This kid ran into me in the street.
l was at the car wash.

This little blonde kid came up.

He said something about.... l stole the car.

l'm driving down the street, right?
He comes up to me on a bicycle.

Pick him up.

Hi, kid. Remember me?

You're in a lot of trouble, boy.

Lock him up.

Hey, what's the matter, kid?
You forget your key?

Damn.

Okay, okay. You got me.

No chains!

Kenny?

Buenas noches, doll.

What do you want?

You Vanessa?

Maybe.

We got your friend.

Where is he? What did you do to him?

Kenny?

They're not getting away with this.

You went to the cops, right?

No?

Boy, are you stupid.

Well, as soon as we get you cleaned up,
that's where you're going.

Whoops, had it on wax. Just a minute.

Come here. Let me get your front.

And don't look so goddamn depressed.

You got them. And you found your car.

You're a big winner,
you lucky son of a bitch.

Kenny, you did it.

All by yourself.

Kenny!

Over here.

Mr. McGrath. Far out!

-Kenny, how you doing?
-Fantastic. Terrific.

-l've been looking for you.
-Great.

You're just in time. l found the car.

Yeah, l knew you would.
Listen, l wanna talk to you about it.

You should see these guys.
You talk about bad news...

mean, stupid, vicious bastards.

Why, l think they were
getting ready to kill me.

l know they were.

They've got some kind of operation going,
you know.

They work out of a body shop.
l've been there.

l know you have. Silverado Auto Body.

Yeah.

Oh, you've been doing
a little spadework, too, huh?

Aren't we something? We got them.

l even know the name of the guy
that runs the show.

-You do?
-His name's Wayne Lowry.

Talented bodyman, designer.
Good business head.

-Very aggressive.
-Yeah?

He's a former student of mine. Class of '71 .

No shit?

You've been to my house.

You've met Marsha, you know what l got.

Pool, orange trees, couple of great kids.

Yeah?

You know how much l make a year?

Must be kind of rough, huh?

$13,000.

13,000 lousy dollars.

Don't you think we ought
to go to the police right away?

l mean, you know, if we give them
too much time, they could get away.

This truck...

paying monthly for it.

The mortgage payments on the house,
they were killing me.

They upped the taxes 100%.
l'm just a little guy, Kenny, a teacher.

And l'm getting killed.

Everyone has to answer the question,
''Am l a sucker or what?''

l mean, we all play the game.
But who makes up the rules?

Oh, Mr. McGrath.

One day, a fellow comes to me with
a proposition. A former student of mine.

He's doing very well for himself.

You mean...

you stole the Corvette?

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Kenny, l'm sorry, but you've got
to see that car for what it is.

lt's a commodity to be bought and sold.
Just like everything on this earth.

So you go to the police.

You know what happens? l go to jail.

My wife loses the house,
probably her mind.

Kids are disgraced.

ls that what you want to do to my family?

We're talking about
a victimless crime here. Who got hurt?

The insurance company pays off.
What the hell, they can afford it.

So you go to the police? No.

You've got a good head on your shoulders
and a hell of a touch.

There's no reason at all
that we can't put you to work.

And l'm not talking about pumping gas.

l'm talking about $700 a week.

And you get to do what you were born
to do. How many people get that chance?

How come you never said anything?

We laid up all that fiberglass together.
You never said--

How the hell was l to know you were
gonna fall in love with a pile of junk?

Come on, you worried
about living in Las Vegas?

-No.
-You worried about your mother?

-No.
-Well, that's good.

Because good old Mom
has gone to Del Mar.

-Del Mar?
-Yeah, she's got a boyfriend.

Look, Kenny, l'm offering you a job.

Tell me, please, you'll take it.

-l don't know.
-You've got to know!

And you've got to know right now!

Why are you doing this?

You don't owe me anything.

Look behind me.

l don't like him any more than you do.

But if l don't hit my lights here...

in just about a minute...

he's going to come over here
and handle it his way.

He calls the shots, Kenny, l don't.

Come on.

Say yes, huh?

Come on, please?

lt was a hell of a car.

We should've lowered the spoiler, huh?

lt's 9:30.

He's coming. He'll be here.

l'm not worried. l'm just saying it's 9:30
and looks like you've been had.

Something tells me this little turkey is
a lot smarter than you thought he was.

Keep your shirt on.

l see him.

-Good morning, Kenny. How you feeling?
-Fine.

l want you to meet the man
you're gonna work for.

Wayne Lowry.

Jeff, Tony, get over here and meet a guy
who knows what cars are all about.

All right. Listen, l'm really sorry
about, you know, that chain. l'm sorry.

Hello, again.

No hard feelings, right?

-We're starting from scratch, right?
-Wrong.

That $700 a week?

Not enough.

-$850.
-Now, wait a minute.

First week, in advance.

There you go.

l see what you're doing.
l'd do the same thing.

Make them pay you
what you're worth, right?

Come on.

Gee, Mr. Sinatra,
l didn't know you were in town.

l could go for you in a big way.

That one.

What're you trying to pull?

Oh, l love it!

-Did you sell your car?
-No.

That wasn't your car to sell, you know.
That belonged to the high school.

l never sold it.

So, where did all this money come from,
Mr. Dantley?

You didn't pay for this with a $2 bill.

l got a job.

Pays $850 a week.

$850 a week?

We do custom work.

Special cars for special people.

Oh, l get it.

You're gonna make it an inside job.
Steal your own car back.

You think you can pull it off?

What're you talking about?

$850 a week, that's what l'm pulling off.

Well, what about your car?

You've got to see it for what it is.

lt's a commodity to be bought and sold
like anything else on this earth.

Don't laugh.

l know l'm not telling you anything new.

Thing is...

l can have any car l want now.

Corvette...

Cadillac...

-Lamborghini.
-Lamborghini?

What's the matter?

lt's great, l guess.

Wait a minute.

l got something that'll cheer you up.

l'm a paying customer.

Oh, Jesus.

What am l doing?

You're worth a lot more
than $20. Here's another $50.

And you're worth a lot more than that.

You keep your money.

This one's on the house.

Okay, hold it right there.

Hi, there. Looking for some paint
for my wheels.

Sorry, man, we don't do vans.

lt's okay, l just wanna get rid of this.

l want it to say ''Pete's Pulsator.''

Real classy. Try Orlando's down the street.

-Where'd you get this?
-That's my new van. l just bought it.

Bullshit.

You're a car thief.

Take a look at that back window...

and you tell me how much bullshit
you wanna eat.

Got it from Alsup's this morning.

Got a waterbed in the back.

One of them little boff buggies.

-Orlando's your man.
-Thanks.

What's so goddamn funny?

You, man. Calling that guy a car thief.

-Vanessa?
-Who?

Hey, come on already, will you talk to me?

Sorry, pal. She missed two days work
and she owes me for some meals.

Hey, stay right there.

ls that you?

l beg your pardon?

l mean, wow!

No wonder you're not slinging
hamburgers anymore.

Have we met? l don't believe l know you.

What?

Here you go, Rosalind. Play with these.

Oh, Mr. Blanchard,
l'm losing all your money.

How about another drink?

Rosalind? Oh, that Rosalind crap.

-Where did you get that dress?
-Will you shut up?

-Look, you think that just because--
-Let's take a walk.

Great, great. Just terrific.
You finally went and did it, huh?

A hooker. The real thing.

Well, where do you get off?

l'm getting $100 a shot,
and you know what l'm doing?

Body work, just like you.

-Rosalind, where'd you go?
-Coming.

Creep. $100!

$100? l'll give you $200,
$1,000, anything you want.

-You don't have to do this.
-Come on, Kenny.

lt's not your money l'm after.

Here you go, chin-chin. Who's your friend?

This is just my cousin, Homer.

Goodbye, Homer. Call me tomorrow.

Say, you wouldn't want
to get in on the action?

l've got some friends coming by.

lt's gonna be a hell of a party.

l'd make it worth your while.

Hey, enough is enough. Beer time.

Okay.

Don't forget to turn off the lights
and lock up.

What is that?

What the hell happened?

Look out!

You son of a bitch.

Get into this, baby. Come on, now.

This time l got you.

Sir, the keys.

l'll get it.

Hello, old buddy.
l'm glad you could make it.

Take it easy, pal. l don't want any trouble.

You see, l've got a lot
of expensive equipment here.

Kenny Dantley, get your ass out of here.

l'm gonna call the cops.

Oh, no, don't do that.

You in the tub.

You're checking out.

l'm not going to....
Who do you think you are, anyway?

You have no right to take me anywhere!

l just wanna get my flipper off.

l don't wanna go. You're embarrassing me.

Let me go!

l'm gonna smack you.

Oh, and what's this?

Where's your Lamborghini, big shot?

l'm not gonna forget what l saw.

You were making a dirty movie.

l was not.

Oh yeah? What do you call it, a PG?

lt was not a movie.

lt was a short.

Stop this car! Stop it! l'm getting out.

Oh, no, you're not.

We're going the wrong way!

l know that!
l'm trying to get us on the freeway.

That was it, dumbo. You missed it!

l got it, hold on.

What're you doing? Where's the freeway?

Don't worry, l got it.
Just look for a place to turn around.

Where are you going?
Are you doing this on purpose?

Oh, l see what's happening...

and you don't fool me a bit.

Look out!

You had this planned the whole time.

Trying to scare me, you little creep?
Well, it's not gonna work.

l'm enjoying it, see? l love it!

Boy, are you a nut. Where's that freeway?

What's he supposed to be doing?
Shooting at us?

Bang, bang yourself, man.

Will you get down? What are you doing?

That's it! l knew l'd find it!

The freeway!

End of the line, folks.

So what happens now?
You turn around and take me home?

Looks like l have to.

You're insane!

Kenny, stop!

-He's back.
-l don't believe it.

You wait right here. This won't take long.

-Look out.
-Oh, brother.

All right now, no running.
Stay in single file.

Hey, look!

What happened to it?

Oh, my God!

Who is responsible for this?

Who set off that alarm?

Good Lord.

-lsn't this our car?
-Yes, sir.

You, young lady.

Do you have an explanation to offer?

Sure don't, Jack.

Excuse me.

Well, who does?

Ask bozo.

Well, how did you get it back?

Let's just say...

l found it.

What about the police?
You've talked to them?

They are aware of this?

No.

They don't know a thing.

Well, you should have.
They should be informed.

What's the difference?

You got the car back, didn't you?

All right, everybody. Back inside.

The fire drill is over.

-Oh, Mr. Bacon.
-Yes, Dantley.

-There is one thing.
-What is it?

-l'd like my diploma.
-Yes, of course.

We've kept it for you. lt's in my office.

-Kenny, can l talk to you for a second?
-What do you want?

What happened?

Money wasn't good enough?
You couldn't get along with Wayne?

You should've called me.
Kenny, listen to me, please.

You need money? Another car? A job?

l'll give you my best recommendation.

l got it!

Congratulations.

-Where you going with my--
-Kenny.

Tell me what l gotta hear, please.

So long, Mr. McGrath.

Kenny, please.

Hey, Kenny, where you going?
Stick around, meet me after school.

-What about the car? You gonna buy it?
-Nope.

What? lt's a terrific car.

Superior mags, mercury tubes,
Gabriel shocks.

Then why don't you buy it, Kootz?

Hey, Kenny, where you going?

Hey, you, with the funny walk.

Come on, you're not all that tough.

Would you give me my diploma?

You think l spent five years in this dump
for an empty envelope?

Danger!

What, are you mad because
l gave the car back?

Oh, l see what it is.

Any guy...

who doesn't own a Corvette,
just doesn't get a kiss from you.

Right?

How did I lose him?

We didn't have enough dough
to get married and I wouldn't...

I had my pride.
Heaven knows where I got it.

I liked him a lot better
than I've ever liked anybody since.

One day, my Romeo took
a little walkout on me.

I made a terrible row. Why shouldn't I?

But what I ought not to have done
was to run away...

...and leave him in the clutches
of that woman, like a coward.

That's what you are, Mary Haines,
you're a blithering coward.

Why?

Because I wouldn't stay
to be second fiddle?

Because you ran out of the trenches
under fire. You deserted him.

- I deserted him?
- Sure you did.

You think he wants to be
in the grip of that red-headed octopus?

If you'd given him a chance,
he'd have asked you not to get a divorce.

Why, Miriam, he did ask me.

- And you still ran away?
- Yes.

One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine.

Listen, honey, don't you know
that we dames have got to be...

...a lot more to the guy we marry
than a schoolgirl sweetheart?

We got to be a wife.
And a mother, and a pal.

And a nursemaid.

Sometimes, when it comes to the point,
we've even got to be a cutie.

You should have licked that girl
where she licked you, in his arms.

That's where you win in the first round.

And if I know men,
it's still Custer's Last Stand.

Shocked you?

Okay, sister, but my idea of love
is that love isn't ashamed of nothing.

That's easy enough to say, Miriam,
but that girl's in his blood.

I couldn't have stayed under the same roof
with him and faced that.

Why not? Suppose the guy had smallpox.

Would you had liked to have faced that?
But you'd have done it.

This jam that he's in would make
a bad case of smallpox look like a carnival.

While the poor guy's
floundering around helpless...

...you remove the one protection he's got,
his legal marriage.

So he's stumbling around in the open,
delirious and unprotected...

...with a she-wolf in lamb's clothing
right on his heels.

And not one word of comfort out of you.

Because why? Because you're too busy
nursing your two-for-a-nickel pride.

Operator, we completed...
It's New York calling Mrs. Haines?

It's Mr. Haines?

Tell him you'll tear that divorce decree
into a million pieces and use it for confetti.

Hello, Stephen.

It's so good to hear your voice.

Yes, it went through on schedule
this morning.

But I can still...

But, Stephen...

No.

I haven't seen the papers.
How could I up here?

Yes.

I'd rather you told me.

Of course.

I understand the position you're in.

I hope you'll both be very happy.

Me? No, I have no plans.

No plans at all.

Do you mind if I hang up now?

Goodbye, Stephen.

He married her, didn't he?

Yes.

This afternoon.

I'm sorry I spoke so rough to you.

It's all right, sister.

It was a nice try.

I don't know what I'm kicking about.
I still have my pride.

Don't cry, honey.

Come on, buck up.

But Madame has been soaking
one whole hour.

- So what?
- Monsieur thinks that...

I told Monsieur the doctor ordered me
to soak in this foam for my nerves.

What do you want?

Monsieur suggests that you join him...

...and walk Little Mary
to her mother's apartment.

Holy mackerel, what a cheerful evening!
I'm so bored!

Monsieur says that it doesn't improve...

...Madame's nerves
to stay so long in the water.

What'd he mean by that? A crack?

No, he did not say it that way, Madame.

I thought not.

I've been Mrs. Haines for 18 months now
without a single squawk.

That's some sort of a record
for Park Avenue.

Get out.

Get out! Go on!

Hello, you.

No, I'm in the tub.

Yeah, and I'm shriveled to a peanut
waiting for this call.

And say, listen,
don't call me anymore today.

If there's any calling to be done,
I'll call you. It's safer.

I know.

When I had this phone put in here,
I thought I'd have a little privacy...

...but the way people barge in and out,
you'd think it was Grand Central Station.

What?

Maybe it's a good thing
you're going to the Coast tomorrow.

It's getting to be too risky.

Say, listen.

I've worked too hard to land
this meal ticket to make any false moves.

Romance?

Peace is a whole lot more to me
than any romance.

They're not going to get me
out on that limb again, ever!

What?

Sure, I'll miss you, baby.

I'll miss you like nobody's business.

I'll say, we had fun.

I'll call you back.

Who told you to come in here?

Daddy. He's going to take me home now,
and I want to say good night.

Don't go, darling.

Hand me that sponge there, will you?

- Please?
- Please.

Good night.

You're in a hurry to tell Daddy about it,
aren't you?

- About what?
- My talk on the telephone.

I don't understand
grownups on the telephone.

- They all sound silly. Good night.
- Good night, who?

You've been told to call me Auntie Crystal.

- Won't you do it?
- Yes.

Yes, what?

- Yes, good night.
- You sit down there.

It's hot in here. I've got my coat on.

You heard me, young lady.
I said, "Sit down"!

Now, we're going to have this out,
once and for all.

I've done my best to be friends with you,
but you refuse to cooperate.

- What?
- Cooperate!

Now, answer my question.
You don't like me. Why?

- Good night, Crystal.
- I said, "Why?"

Crystal, my mother told me
I wasn't to be rude to you.

Young lady, you're going to give me
one good reason why you don't like me.

I never said I didn't like you.

- But you don't like me, do you?
- No, but I never said so.

I've been very polite,
considering you're something awful.

Wait until your father hears about this!

Listen, Daddy doesn't think
you're so wonderful anymore.

- Did he tell you that?
- No. He always pretends you're all right.

You wouldn't know about such things,
but my Daddy is a gentleman.

He never talks against any woman,
not even you.

But we understand, Daddy and I,
without ever saying a word to each other.

I bet you've done plenty
of blabbing to your mother.

No, I haven't. It's my job
to try and make Mother feel cheerful.

Go on, get out of here.
Scram! On your way!

And another thing. I think this bathroom
is perfectly ridiculous!

Good night, Crystal.

Why, you...

I told you not to call me back here again.

It's too dangerous.

That little Haines brat was just in here.

You've been drinking. Yes, you have!

You're all lit up or you wouldn't want me
to be taking any chances either.

- May I come in?
- Just a minute, Sylvia.

Here comes more trouble.

I'm going to hang up and don't you dare
call me here again! Do you understand?

Come in, dear.

I was out in the open when you called.

- I hope you'll forgive me for being modest.
- You? Modest?

I'll tell that to my psychoanalyst.
I have to tell him everything!

That must be a great effort.

I don't mind talking about myself...

...but discussing my friends
does make me feel disloyal.

I just saw poor Stephen
leaving with Little Mary.

He looked awfully tired and worn.

Dr. Sylvester says
Stephen has a guilt complex.

A what?

- Want me to scrub your back a bit, dear?
- Yeah.

Here, hold this.

Dr. Sylvester says that men like Steve
can't admit...

...what they feel for a woman is not love.

- You're taking my skin off!
- Sorry.

He says that's why Stephen married you.

To convince himself that your friendship
had dignity and importance.

Who are you to laugh?
I've made good with my husband.

That's how you talk
after all I've done for you?

Done what?

You knew no one
when you married Stephen.

- It wasn't easy to put you over.
- And who said you put me over?

I've gotten you into some
of our very best homes!

Yes, for some of their very best insults.

What?

Who was Mrs. Buck Winston
before she married Buck Winston?

La Comtesse De Lave. Imagine giving up
a title to marry that cowhand.

I laugh every time I think
she got him into radio.

My dear, he's positively
the chambermaid's delight!

Is he?

Mrs. Potter is on the phone
for you, Mrs. Fowler.

I'll take it in here.

But it's on the other phone, Madame.

Other phone?

That charming little instrument
is not an extension?

Stephen does so much business on
the other phone, I got my own.

I'll bet that Stephen thinks
it's an extension.

Stephen doesn't mooch
around my bathroom.

- That's pretty obvious.
- Go on, answer the telephone.

Tell her I'll call her back.

Why, you sly little fox, you!

This settles a question that's been
on my mind from the beginning.

- What do you mean?
- You put that in here to talk to a man.

- Don't be ridiculous!
- Don't lie!

You're not Stephen's type.
I don't know why he picked you up.

I've got to take a shower.
Wait for me in my bedroom.

I used this cream. It brought out a rash.

Don't you dare touch that telephone!
Give me that phone!

What did he say?

Not a thing. Not a single thing.
He was singing!

All right. So what?

How could you?

Buck Winston, the chambermaid's delight!

You haven't got a thing on me,
Sylvia Fowler. Not a single thing!

Do I care? I'm mum as an oyster.
I don't want Stephen to find out.

It would give Mary too much satisfaction.

If you hang on to Stephen,
we'll both be happy.

- Will you shake on that?
- Why not?

Is the coast clear?

All clear, Mrs. Morehead.
They're having a very gay dinner party.

I'm still glad I went to the movies.
I'm starving. Those dreadful women!

How my daughter can tolerate them,
I'll never understand.

Mrs. Haines cooked for them in Reno,
the night she got her divorce, so she...

So she feels she has to feed them annually.

Did they bring
the same husbands this time?

I guess so. They couldn't all
very well get new ones in two years.

The approach of the innocents.
I leave you my share of them, Jane.

Miriam, how's matrimony?
Still making a go of it?

My reconstruction job
on Howard Fowler would make...

...the Boulder Dam look like an egg cup.

Can't we get off to the Casino Roof?
Johnny and I have to be home by 4:00.

Little Johnny always wakes up.
He said the cutest thing the other day.

He said, "Dada."

When does he enter college?

- Where's Flora?
- She's at the bar, drinking with the men.

Tell her you want to get going.

What's the hurry? One more drink
and Flora will float up on her own breath.

Do you want to hear something
about Sylvia?

She's going to that new psychoanalyst.
You know, Dr. Sylvester.

- Why, he's a dreadful fake!
- Isn't it a scream? She's mad about him!

Do you know what she pays an hour
just to drool at him?

- $100.
- It's worth $1 million!

You should make up with Sylvia.

She's livid at how
you've high-hatted her since Reno.

I'd rather have her for a friend
than an enemy.

I wouldn't.

Quelle soir�e! What a lovely party!

Isn't it wonderful to see all our lives
so settled, temporarily?

Do put that poor darling Freddy
out of his misery.

- How, shoot him?
- Marry him, dear.

L'amour, I'amour.

- I'll get your wrap. Which one?
- I don't think I'll be going.

But why?

You're not cross because my Buck's
had a wee drop too much?

Don't be modest, Flora.
Your ducky is stinko.

Do come. This is really our farewell party.

- I'm never coming back to New York.
- What's wrong with New York?

- Can I trust you?
- Probably not, dear. What is it?

Can we keep this between the five of us?

- The six of us.
- Shoot. It's a nationwide hookup.

You remember the way Buck
was always crooning love songs in my ear?

He doesn't do it anymore.

Maybe he's saving himself
for the microphone.

No, he isn't. He stays away
from home most of the time...

...and comes back smelling
of some strange perfume.

- Where does he say he's been?
- Visiting his horse.

That's why it's safer
to keep floating around.

- Poor Flora.
- Never mind, dear. Chin up!

That's right, both of them.

Good night.

I went up against a tribe of headhunters
in Africa, so I can take anything.

Good night, precious.

Since you're not going, I can tell you.

You'd have run right smack
into Stephen and Crystal and Sylvia.

They're having supper at the Casino Roof.

- You'd have let it happen?
- They've got to meet sometime.

- Why not get it over with?
- You know Mary hates situations.

I'm not so squeamish.

Wait till you see the cooing fest I put on
over Howard for dear, darling little Sylvia.

Good night, Mary darling.

I don't feel very much like going myself.
I hate this dress.

My husband says I look
as though I were going to sing in it.

- Good night.
- My love to little Johnny.

So long, darling.
Shall I spit in Crystal's eye for you?

You're passing up a swell chance, honey.
Where I spit, no grass grows ever!

- What are you doing?
- Fumigating!

Mother.

How do you stand those dreadful women,
even once a year?

An object lesson.

- Would you like me to help you, ma'am?
- No, thanks. You go to bed.

Good night, ma'am.

Good night, Mrs. Morehead.

- Good book?
- I think so.

It seems to be about love.

- I wish you could find...
- "Some nice man."

Haven't we been
over that enough times, dear?

I had the only one I ever wanted.

If it hadn't been for my pride...

But Stephen is happy, dear.
Why can't you forget him?

Now, Mother.

Cheer up.
Living alone has its compensations.

It's marvelous to be able
to spread out in bed like a swastika.

- Good night, dear.
- Good night, darling.

And don't read too long.
It'll hurt your eyes.

"But if you would seek
only love's pleasure...

"...then it is better for you to pass out
of love's domain into the outside world...

"...where you shall laugh,
but not all of your laughter...

"...and weep...

"...but not all of your tears."

Mother.

What's the matter, darling?

May I crawl in with you tonight?

Yes, but I'm so restless.
I'm apt to keep you awake, honey.

- I don't mind.
- Come on, jump in then.

That's the only good thing about divorce.

You get to sleep with your mother.

- I taste lipstick.
- I haven't washed yet.

Good night, darling.

You know,
you're a very sympathetic mother.

- Am I?
- Yes.

So would you scratch my back?

All right, but go to sleep.

- I can't go to sleep.
- Yes, you can, if you try. Good night.

No, I can't. I have such a big problem.

Have you?

Which is the most important,
truth or honor?

They're equally important, darling.
One doesn't exist without the other.

Yes, it does. It does with Daddy.

You see, tonight Daddy told me a lie.

- I don't think he did.
- Yes, he did.

He did it for an honorable reason,
but he shouldn't lie to me...

...even to save her skin.

- To save whose skin?
- Crystal's.

Walking home tonight,
Daddy said he was going up to Canada...

...where you and he had your honeymoon.

So I thought it was about time he stopped
pretending to me that he likes Crystal.

- But he does like her very much, dear.
- That's what he lets on.

If he'd only break down
and say he's going up there...

...because he simply can't bear her
another day.

- Why, Mary!
- He's so miserable.

He sits for hours all alone in his study,
with his head buried in his hands...

...while that silly thing plays solitaire
with the radio on.

Why haven't you told me
about Daddy before?

Because you've cried over him
just about enough.

- Please keep on scratching.
- Sorry.

I told Daddy tonight
I was going to tell you.

And what did he say?

He said not to because
why would you care how he feels.

- Is Crystal happy, do you think?
- I suppose she is.

She's got somebody she talks to
lovey-dovey on the phone.

Don't stop scratching, Mother.

- Do you know who it is?
- No, I don't know.

Guess you'd have to ask Auntie Sylvia.
They're together all the time.

- What are you doing?
- Go to sleep, darling.

- Are you getting dressed?
- Yes.

- You forgot you were invited to a party?
- Almost.

- Are you ill, dear? You rang.
- I never felt better in my life.

- Did you ring?
- Yes.

My new evening wrap and a taxi!
Don't stand there! Hurry!

Mary Haines, what is all this?

I've had two years to grow claws, Mother.

Jungle Red!

Did you see those quaint types
with the Vanderheisens?

Yes. What filthy-looking outsiders!
Who are they?

I wouldn't admit it if I knew, pet.

Really, something ought to be done
to protect New York.

Are you sure Mrs. Fowler
didn't leave the restaurant before I came?

- I'm sure.
- You know her by sight, don't you?

She's famous for the size of her tips.
Not even a thin dime.

But it's getting late.
Maybe she's decided not to come.

Yes, maybe. Thank you.

It's one thing to come out,
but quite another to go under the table.

Don't think I didn't hear that Princeton boy
call me an old drizzle-puss.

Try these smelling salts.

Please come back out.
You've been in here over an hour.

- Have I?
- Are you waiting for someone?

No, I have sort of a headache.

You're not going to get rid of it
in this bad air.

No, perhaps you're right.

- Thank you.
- Thank you, ma'am.

- Stephen is in such a mood.
- Lx-nay.

How do you do?

Hello, Peggy.

Stephen is going to give me pearls
for my birthday. Isn't that sweet?

You have me to thank for those, dear.
I told him you'd love them.

Thank you, darling.

I beg your pardon.

- Come on.
- I have to fix my makeup.

- Hurry up before they come back.
- Leave me alone.

Why, Mary!

So he says, "I got to go home on Sunday."
So I said, "Why do you got to?"

He says, "They always expect me home
on Easter Sunday."

I said, "What do they expect you to do,
lay an egg?"

What are you up to?

Did I tell you I'm going to Dr. Sylvester?

My dear, he keeps me for hours
and never sends me a bill.

He tells me the pleasure is all his.

You've never been
to Dr. Sylvester in your life!

You still here, Mary?

I've got stocking trouble.

What a bore.

- How have you been feeling?
- Quite well.

I just heard you say
you'd been to the doctor.

Jealous?

Don't be silly.
I'm not interested in Dr. Sylvester.

Dolly Dupuyster!

Hello, girls. My, but you look lovely.
Got any dirt for the column?

Not a thing, sweet.

No? Get me my coat, Sadie.
I might as well shove off.

- I've never seen such a clean joint.
- Don't be coy.

It's all over town what a fool you're making
of yourself over Dr. Sylvester.

Just a minute!
I'd thank you to explain that last crack.

Girls, Dolly Dupuyster!

You're paying him $100 an hour
just to hold your hand.

- Did he tell you that?
- Of course not.

He never discusses his patients.

- You aren't feeling well.
- Yes, I am.

I'm going to get Nancy.

I haven't seen you for two years.
Where do you get your information?

Where do you suppose?

- Where?
- From Crystal.

Why, you...

Of course. By way of every saleswoman
and manicurist in New York.

She's now telling that
he had to grow a Vandyke beard...

...so you can't see him laughing at you.

The rotten little... I'll slit her throat!

You're the only friend she's got.
Who else can she gossip about?

She's got Buck Winston!
Why can't she tell about him?

Buck Winston!

Why, Mary Haines!
You fished that out of me!

- Good night, girls.
- Dolly, stick around!

- Something's going to pop.
- Good and dirty?

Go and ask Buck Winston what famous
society matron is crazy about him.

Oh, boy, dirt! Out of my way!

Why, you! I'll shut Buck Winston's trap
if it's the last act of my life.

No, you won't. You're going to stay here.
Stop her, girls!

- Where were you going, my pretty maid?
- Peggy, lock the door.

- Any place we can lock her up?
- In the closet.

- Mary dear, I'll stay here.
- You bet you will.

You'd better think of your job,
my good woman.

I'm thinking of the tips you never gave me.

- This isn't like you.
- I haven't even started yet.

- Whatever you're up to, I'm for it.
- Go and unlock the door.

- Who locked that door?
- I'm sorry, ma'am. It got stuck.

- Come out, quick! All heck's broken loose!
- Of course it has.

Buck Winston just spilled
the most terrific load of dirt.

Stephen had to knock him cold
to shut his trap.

- And the joint's full of newspaper cameras.
- I knew Dolly could do it!

Go out there and reconnoiter.

How could Buck have done that to me?

The Dr. Jekyll and The Mr. Hyde!
Which was which?

Now, Flora, calm down.

Of all five husbands,
Buck is the first one to insult me in public.

Poor Flora.

What did he do?

Do? He confessed an undying love
for little Crystal.

To Dolly Dupuyster, no less.

So that everybody in the place
could hear him.

Oh, the publicity!

La publicit�!

- He even spilled dates and addresses.
- Don't worry, I jotted them all down.

He said he'd be a cock-eyed coyote...

...before he'd herd an old beef like me
back to the Coast.

Get me a bromide. And put some gin in it.

Hey, you! Is Mrs. Fowler in here?

And how!

Open it up, Sadie.

I'll sue, that's what I'll do.
I'll sue everybody in this place.

It's kidnapping, that's what it is.
It's kidnapping!

You've been shooting off
your mouth, you rat!

I didn't say a word. Mary got it out of me!

It wasn't hard to do.

Why, you rotten little...
Just wait till I start talking about you.

You can't say a thing!

And besides, I knew you'd lose
Stephen Haines, you shopgirl.

You're trying to break up my marriage,
you cats!

But get this straight.

You can't stampede me by gossip
or the ravings of Buck Winston.

You've got to have evidence.
And Stephen is a gentleman.

He doesn't need it outside New York.

He's fed up with you.
In your heart, you know it.

Take my advice.
Put your mind on your alimony.

Alimony? With what Stephen has on you,
he won't have to give you a dime.

Is that so?

What if I don't need alimony?
How would you like that?

- You don't?
- What are you going to use instead?

Buck Winston.

The ingrate!

Your cowboy and I get along great,
Countess. Just great.

And the dough he earns on the radio
is more than Stephen will ever dig up.

Buck and I are tickled to death
to be rid of you.

The ingrate!

Cheer up. This is a new lesson in amour.

That's right. See to it that your
next husband isn't financially independent.

Buck isn't independent.

Hasn't he a contract with
Dandy Gelatine?

No, darling. I am Dandy Gelatine.

Nobody would give Buck a job
on the radio, the old meanies...

...so I had to buy out Dandy Gelatine.

You can buy it now, dear,
and give Buck away with every package.

Girls, looks like it's back
to the perfume counter for me.

And by the way,
there's a name for you ladies...

...but it isn't used in high society,
outside of a kennel.

So long, ladies.

Mary, Stephen is outside.
He's waiting for you.

He wants to know if you'll see him.
Will you, please?

Will I? You bet I will!

- Mary Haines, haven't you any pride?
- No pride at all.

That's a luxury women in
love can't afford.