Original subtitles

Happy holidays, boys!

It's time for your yearly performance review!

First off, Pim and Charlie,

you guys made 126 people smile this year!

That's seven more than last year!

That's pretty good!

Yes! How wondrous!

Yeah, that was mostly me, but that's pretty cool.

And Allan, you've... you've... you've done stuff too, right?

Emails, documents, and... and...

Great job, man.

Thank you, Mastor.

And Glep.

Looks like he's not here.

Well, I'm sure he's off working on some really important stuff.

What is Glep's job exactly?

Well, he's the...

the...

Well, he does a lot of work, right?

I don't know.

I mean, whenever I see him, he's just on his iPad

playing games and watching movies.

Yeah, I thought that was his job or something.

I was kind of always unsure.

What?

So he just does nothing all day?

Yeah, but I mean, I thought you knew that.

I mean, you've seen him sitting on the beanbag before, right?

I just thought he was taking breaks from working so hard.

Nope. The lazy bastard doesn't do anything.

Fuck, man! What the fuck?

This needs to change.

Where is he?

Yo, Glep.

What do you actually do around here, man?

No, I'm not being funny right now, man. Like, what do you do at this company?

Can you name one thing? What do you do here?

Name one. One thing.

Why did I even hire you in the first place, man?

Oh, you quit?

You can't quit 'cause you're fired!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

Well, that sucked.

All right, I'mma go take a dump.

Poor Glep.

Yeah, it's going to be weird in the group chat now.

Oh, yeah, we should kick him.

Sorry, which group chat is that?

Oh, yeah, it's just like a stupid group chat we do,

where it's like-- It's not even that good.

We just send funny stuff and make each other laugh.

But, yeah, it's not even...

It sucks. It's not even good.

Glep, you spend too much time at work

and give me no attention and it make me sad.

I'm going back to my home country for the holidays.

In other news, there were 50 stabbings today.

I'm sleeping with my sister.

Drop it, drop it. Don't you fucking dare!

What can I get for you?

Sure. Can I see some ID?

God damn, man.

You was born in 329 A.D.?

Must have seen some crazy fucking crap in your time, dude.

Sir, this thing was caught stealing apples from the apple market.

An interesting little critter.

Why should I not kill you now?

What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever seen in my life!

I hate that! I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I'm going insane!

Oh, my God! The Emperor is dead!

What do we do now?

Hey, man, you should probably leave.

That's him right there. That's the witch.

I saw him do a magic spell and turn milk into yogurt.

That's the witch. Kill him! Kill him!

Any last words, witch?

Dude, dude. Oh, my God, man. It was so funny. What was it?

It was like ten or twenty British dudes or something like that.

-Yeah, about that. -Yeah, yeah, dude.

And they came and they fucking--

Oh, my God, man. And when they say it, they're like,

"Oh, where's my tea?" Or some shit like that.

I was like, "Um, how about no?"

It was so good. It was so funny, man.

Yeah, I remember when he hit the fucking thing with the thing.

Yeah, yeah, no, no, that was so funny, man.

That was so funny.

Okay.

Who invited him again?

I think it was Ben.

Anyway, I think I might call it, actually. I'm getting pretty sleepy.

-All right, I'm gonna take off. -Yeah, I think it's time.

Yeah, same. All right, see you later.

Wow, that's crazy.

So, you're saying you went to space?

No, he didn't say anything like that.

I don't think you were listening.

What he was saying is he's been around for centuries

and he's never been able to fit in anywhere.

Wait up, man. What the fuck? You started the bubonic plague?

Huh? You think that's funny?

What the fuck, man? Fuck you!

You're a sick fuck, man.

Look, I liked your story, but I think it's best if you leave.

Yeah, that's right. Leave, motherfucker.

Plague starter. Go to hell, dude.

Fuck you.

Guys, come on. Can we all say a prayer for the victims of the plague, please?

Yeah, sure.

Heavenly Father, we ask for your mercy and grace

for the 25 million plague victims.

Fuck, I'm ruined!

Get away from me! What do you want?

Oh, you're new here.

Well, guess what, kid? Nobody gives a damn.

This city will chew you up

and spit you out.

I just lost everything in a goddamn market crash.

I'm so fucked!

Okay, it's gonna be fine? Awesome!

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't pull the trigger.

You just made me smile, even though my life is terrible.

Wait, that's it!

This is my next business idea!

Making people smile!

We can start a business that does exactly that!

What do you say?

Yeah.

Yo, hey, Glep.

Look...

I may have gone a little too far when I fired you.

I was thinking why we started this business in the first place,

and it was because of you, man.

If you wanna sit on the beanbag and do nothing,

that's fine with me.

That's who you are and why you're so freaking cool, Glep.

No need to apologize, man.

Want to come back?

Yeah.

Yippee!

-Hooray! -Yay.

Thanks, everyone, for coming to the supper room

for Christmas dinner!

Gotta use this room more often!

Father, may I have some peas, please?

Yes, you may, Son.

Thank you for asking me nicely.

Nutritious.

Wow, you grew up so fast.

So do you still run around a lot at home and stuff like that?

No, I haven't run around in a while.

I just do crypto stuff now.

Cool.

You have gravy all over your face.

Hey, don't touch me. Don't ever touch me.

Oh, Glep, I'm so sorry we had that horrible fight.

To make it up to you, I made a dish of my home country.

So, despite being a weird little green freak

that no one understands,

Glep finally figured out where he belongs.

Which just goes to show that no matter how different we all are,

everyone can get along with each other.

Except for a certain group of people.

You know who I'm talking about.

Excuse me?

-What? -What did you just say?

I was...

Just wrapping up the episode, you know?

You said something about a certain group of people.

-It was a joke. -Which group were you talking about?

It was a joke but it didn't land as much as I thought.

But doesn't matter. I guess, you know, whatever.

Whatever. Cha-cha-cha.

But I'm just curious, though.

You're not gonna say what group it was?

You don't wanna say which group?

It was the group that was supposed to--

it was supposed to be a mind experiment.

Whoever came to your mind.

But it was a joke. It doesn't matter. It didn't land as much as

-I thought it would. -Just say the group, dude.

-Just say what the group is. -Sorry, I'm with Charlie here,

and I don't-- we don't even know who you are.

Who are you?

How did you get in here? This is a private event.

We ask that you bring them to greener pastures

and help them gain way through the pearly gates

and into an eternal life of bliss and love.

In Jesus' name.

Amen.

Bye. Have a great night.