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Ben?

Ben?

Why do people jog?

Coffee.

[CAR HONKING]

GIRL: Let's go! PAUL: Come on, Sylvie!

SYLVIE: Sorry.

Sorry, guys.

Seat belt.

Okay, I love you, and I love you...

And I love you...

And I love you.

Bye, Mom.

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

Hello? Hello?

Oh, Rebecca, honey, is that you?

It's Lucy, Alberta.

Have you noticed yet that every time you misdial the phone,

I'm the one who answers?

Dad would call that a boundary issue.

Well, as my ex-therapist as well as my ex-husband,

he should know about boundary issues.

Listen, darling, I need you to call your sister for me.

We were supposed to have lunch today,

but there is just no way I'm gonna find the time.

Are you smoking again?

You are lying in bed, fully dressed,

with a stale Diet Pepsi, smoking a cigarette, aren't you?

I wish you would see my therapist.

Sylvie, I can't talk now.

Because Ben, he's not even back yet.

I'm not leaving without him.

Because, I told you, he has to take me to pick up my car, honey.

No, you can't take me. I'll tell you why.

Because I don't have time to hear about your marriage now, okay?

Listen, I'll call you in between classes, all right?

Just work in the garden, sculpt and then

sit by the phone until I call you back, okay?

I love you too. Bye.

Hello? Oh, hi, Luce.

I don't know why she misdials. I have to go.

No, I don't think that you should see her therapist.

Look, I have to go, because I have to go search for Ben

who I am now furious at.

Because he's taking me to get my car,

and I have a 9:00 class to teach and...

Are you smoking already?

Luce.

Hello! Excuse me.

This is kind of embarrassing, but I'm looking for my husband.

He sometimes jogs on this road.

I think he may have been wearing a blue sweat suit.

Have you seen anybody like that?

A jogger was hit by a car about a half hour ago. They took him to the hospital.

NURSE: [OVER PA] Dr. David, telephone, please. Dr. David, telephone, please.

-Mrs. Lott? -Hi.

-Hi. -I'm... I'm looking for my husband.

He may have been hit by a car. He was out jogging near our house.

-Where do you live? -Old Mountain Road.

Can we do this part some other time?

I just need to be sure that it's him.

-Tall, dark hair? -Yeah.

A blue running suit?

Yes. What happened? 'Cause you're starting to scare me.

-The doctor will be right out. -No.

You tell me. What happened?

-Your husband was hit very hard. -Yeah?

He didn't make it.

"He didn't make it"? What...

What do you... What do you mean, he didn't make it?

What does that mean? Are you...

Are you telling me that he, that he's dead?

Mmm-hmm.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

What?

What!

If you'll excuse me, gentlemen.

Yes? Lucy?

Honey, slow down a minute. I can't hear...

What about Ben?

No, listen. Listen, Lucy, could I call you back?

I'm right in the middle...

What did you say happened to Ben? I'm sorry.

I was talking. I couldn't hear you.

Shit.

Did you call my dad too?

He lives in San Francisco.

I know. He's taking the red-eye.

He'll be here in the morning.

You're driving too fast!

I'm only going 15 miles an hour.

Well, it feels too fast! It feels too fast.

Well, I'm just trying to get you home, Rebecca.

I told you about that at the hospital.

Didn't I tell you about that at the hospital?

Don't say my name, Sylvie.

Let's not talk about what just happened, okay?

Don't touch me, Sylvie! Just don't touch me! Not now. Not yet.

I understand.

No, you don't.

[SIGHING]

I can't touch anything.

That's okay. I'll do it. I'll do it. That's okay.

-No, don't... -Sorry.

[PHONE RINGING]

BEN: Hi. Ben and Rebecca aren't here right now,

but leave a message and one of us, the right one, will get back to you. Thanks.

MARTHA: Rebecca? This is Martha and John.

We just heard. God, I'm so sorry.

If there's anything we can do, please call us at the house.

[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING]

I want to go in, but I don't want to go in.

I completely get that. I mean, my bedroom makes me sick.

Paul and I have not had sex for three months.

We did.

This morning.

I cannot go in there.

Okay.

I just realized that now I am the "W" word...

And that tomorrow morning I'm going to wake up

and look exactly like Georgia O'Keeffe at 85.

You know, I'm picturing being shrouded in black

with the sunken cheeks and the old hands.

I mean, that's how I always pictured the "W" word.

I don't want to appear dense or anything, but I'm not following the "W" word thing.

Is that like for "witch"?

-Widow. -Oh! Yeah!

Well, what did you think that I meant?

I don't know. I mean, I was still in Santa Fe with Georgia O'Keeffe,

and trying to figure out what the hell was in the desert that started with "W."

I couldn't figure it out.

"White hot." "Whip snake."

-"Wild weed." "Waltz." -See, I'm not a poetry professor.

"Whither." "Weep."

You know, just because I'm talking and making you laugh,

do not assume that anything about me is the same.

Okay.

Lucy!

Great. Alberta. Shit.

Lucy, honey!

Lucy, wait! Honey.

Alberta, I gotta get this stuff into the refrigerator!

Lucy.

Hi.

Hey, Luce.

Don't touch her. She... Her skin hurts. She doesn't want to be touched.

-Lucy. -Touch me. It's okay now.

It's okay, go ahead.

Except you're gonna make me cry, Luce.

She doesn't wanna cry, because she's the "W" word now.

-What? -God, great jacket! Is it new?

Yeah. You know, I just got it at Charivari. It was on sale.

-Fabulous. -They also had it in like a smoky brown.

See, now that would look great on you.

-No, I definitely like the black. -You think so?

I can't believe that we're talking about your jacket.

I know.

I can't believe I had to add the Charivari part. I'm so sorry.

-I know. -I can't believe this happened.

Did you talk to Dad?

Yeah, before I got on the plane.

What did he say?

Did he talk about Mom? I mean, what did he say, about,

you know, when mom died, did he feel it right away?

You went to Zabar's? What did you get?

I have no idea what's in there. Sylvie told me to bring food, so, food.

-She doesn't want to be touched right... -Alberta, you're not...

Come here.

No!

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[WHIMPERING]

She didn't want to cry yet. You shouldn't have made her.

This is not crying. Rebecca, honey... Let it out.

No.

Well, maybe a cup of tea then.

Would one of you make her a cup of tea?

-I'll do it. -I'll help you.

-No, I got it. -But I wanna make the tea!

[BICKERING]

Both of you... Go make tea.

Come on.

[WHIMPERING]

Man, what'll we do?

We make tea. We're jointly making tea.

I'm starving, because I have not had anything to eat since dinner last night,

which I basically cried through because my husband and I are probably breaking up.

And you know, I asked Rebecca if she wanted some tea

or food or something, and she said no.

So I'm glad that woman is here. She's a pill, but she's highly effective.

-How long was she married to your dad? -Ten years.

-What? -But they've been divorced for four,

thank you very much, because I can't believe she's still in my life.

Thank you for doing that.

I'll take care of everything now, honey. I'm here.

Listen, I talked to a lawyer in New York City.

Yeah?

And I'm waiting for the police to call back about the accident report.

I'm sorry to bother you, but do you want something to eat with your tea, Becky?

No. Thank you, Lucy.

Lucy, if the Riverside Chapel calls, just buzz me up here.

We don't have things to buzz with here, Alberta,

otherwise I would have buzzed to ask what Becky wanted to eat.

Thank you, Lucy.

We're not on Wall Street. Look where you are.

Why don't you just let me do what I do best, all right?

There are certain decisions that only Rebecca can make.

Well, she's right, you know, Luce?

What do you want to do with the body?

Jesus Christ!

Honey?

Can't you be more careful about how you say things?

If what just happened to her happened to me, I'd kill myself.

Look, we are here for one reason and for one reason only,

and that is to get her through this first week.

Now, she can do it and we can do it. I want to hear you say you can do it.

I'm not a cheerleader. I'm not gonna cheer. I'm her sister.

Nobody is asking you to break out the pom-poms.

REBECCA: I don't feel so good.

I mean, no place I go feels right.

I hate every single room in this house.

I'm making your tea, okay? Sylvie's downstairs. She's just boiling the water.

You know, I really need you guys to convince me that I can do this.

-You can do this, Becky. I know you can. -Yeah.

-Was that so hard? -Why do you have to be so glib?

-I was not being glib. -Pom-poms was glib.

What does she think, we implemented an entire intercom system

since the last time we were here, and now we have things to buzz with?

-Don't use this cup! -Why not?

-It's psychotic. -Excuse me. I made this cup.

Why?

What kind of tea should we use?

Chamomile, peppermint or regular? What?

I don't know, you know? I don't know about tea.

Well, look, we have got to get this right.

This is going to be the first thing she has had to drink since Ben died.

-We have to get it right. -I know. We will.

Should we have milk? Should we put milk on the side?

You mean in a little...

No, we should not, because she probably doesn't want to make choices now.

I know that it hasn't really started yet, but I can feel it waiting for me,

and I'm scared that it's going to get me while I sleep.

My God, Luce, this feels so... Different than when Mom died, you know?

I mean, she was sick for so long.

Mom was Mom, and Ben was my husband, you know?

It took me so long to find him.

I don't know what to say to you, Becky.

I mean, I don't... I don't know what to say.

I wish Mom were here. She'd know what to say.

It's okay, Luce. You don't have to say anything.

Your face always makes me feel better.

It brings me our entire childhood.

Right now I wish I was six years old...

Where there's no future except desserts and birthdays.

Six is where there's only lunch and dinner and Daddy.

Yeah, Daddy.

[OBJECT FALLING]

Damn it!

Mmm.

Syl.

REBECCA: Shit. There are his parents.

What am I gonna say to them?

His father has the same hands as he did.

I can't even look at them.

God, I'd hate to be them.

What do you say to someone like me?

MAN: I respected him and enjoyed his company. REBECCA: Mmm.

MAN: He was very special. REBECCA: Mmm.

You know, he never stole as much as a theorem from me.

Unlike this one here. He steals everything.

-Hey, come on. -[REBECCA LAUGHING]

No, Ben was unusually honest for an astrophysicist.

Cared more about ideas than credit.

And, boy oh boy, did he love you.

Yeah, he used to read us your poetry.

-Really? Did you like it? -Mmm-hmm.

I mean, I didn't know that he did that.

ALBERTA: Yeah, Marc, I want you to get a hold of

somebody at the New York Times.

Yeah, I'd like to help make sure Ben gets a good write-up,

not just one of those box obituaries, you know?

Whatever happened to the Wongs? They went to L.A.!

-Hi. I just wanted to say hello. -I'll be off. One second.

My ex-husband's right here. I just need to give him a hug.

That's if he'll give me a hug. I mean, you think maybe I could...

-Who are you talking to? -You.

Here's my kiss...

And you can fax me your hug.

No, Sunday's no good, honey.

You okay, Luce?

I can't take Alberta.

She has an odd way of coping.

I mean, really, Dad, what is her problem?

She has intimacy issues.

-Obsessive-compulsive hostility. -[CHUCKLING]

Attachment anxiety. Mood disturbance disorder.

God, I wish I could dis her as good as you.

You must miss Mom a lot. Especially today.

I miss her most on my birthdays.

And weddings. And whenever I eat ice cream.

I pretty much always miss her.

No matter what, you could always count on your mom to fix the bad things.

And appreciate the little things.

Laugh at the stupid things.

-Right? -Yeah.

It's not easy to find somebody like that.

There you are!

Becky's like that.

She is.

You okay, sweetheart?

It's weird in there, isn't it?

There's all these friendly people walking around my house,

telling me stories about Ben,

making him sound like this fabulous stranger that I'm never gonna meet.

And the driver that hit him hasn't called me yet.

He's afraid to, honey.

I can't, Daddy. You know, I just gotta...

I just gotta hold on a little bit longer.

Until they all go home.

Yeah.

[REBECCA CRYING]

-ALBERTA: Why don't you eat something? -[GASPING]

[SIGHING]

LUCY: I didn't see you in here.

You know, I think it's so interesting, Lucy,

how you deny yourself food and wear only black.

It isn't that interesting, really.

Where is your joy, Lucy?

God! Why are you always everywhere with something to say?

I still don't understand how you got so far into this family anyway.

Your father asked me.

Too bad you can't even remember his name.

You never called him Thomas while he was here.

It was always, "May I speak with you?" or, "Please pass the Perrier."

Is that what happened in your marriage? You forgot his name?

He probably would have stayed here longer if you had...

If I'd what?

If I'd called him Thomas? If I was still his wife?

Or if the sight of his daughter in such pain

weren't more than he could bear.

Which daughter?

Well, at least you get to, like, hang out at home.

I got to go back to school tomorrow and write around 301 papers

on the existential nature of the relationships in Jules and Jim.

-So I'll see you Friday? -Yeah, absolutely.

-What's Friday? -We're having dinner... Alone.

-I'll come by later and see you. -Yeah.

I'm plannin' on practically livin' here, you know?

That's not a good idea. Don't practically live here.

-I'll call you tonight. -Yeah.

Thanks, guys... For everything.

It's been a best week, hasn't it? [CHUCKLING]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm fine, really.

Go home.

Yeah, I'm just gonna wear a black shawl,

paint some skulls, read a little Sylvia Plath.

[REBECCA CHUCKLING]

I'm kidding. Go home, really.

[SIGHING]

[PANTING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

"Dear God."

[DOG WHINING]

Go away!

Go away!

I'm sorry.

I'm not good with dogs.

The hermit. That's obviously you,

because you keep trying to hide out from everybody.

Where does it say that? You're not doing it right.

Syl, you're not even following the instructions.

Listen. Listen.

It's not gonna be accurate if we don't do it right.

If you don't stop pickin' at me, the spirits are not gonna guide me, okay?

All right.

All right.

Death. Obviously my marriage, 'cause the guy even looks like Paul.

Paul, after I've gotten done with him.

Me in remorse for what I've just done to Paul.

And look. Wheel of Fortune.

Look at that.

"Wheel of Fortune. Wheel of Fortune represents the ups and downs of fate."

-Mmm-hmm. -It also says it depends on where the cards are placed.

Look at this. I mean, you haven't even done the spread thing here.

Well, we don't need to do an official spread...

-Yes, you do. -...because this is the spread that came up.

You know, you just have to follow your intuition.

Yeah, my intuition is fine. It's yours that I'm worried about.

-Well, you'd be really boring if I wasn't your best friend. -Oh, thank you.

You'd be home watching Wheel of Fortuneright now.

No, I appreciate that.

PAUL: One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war...

We're gonna go over to the Tompkins' and water some plants. Yeah, okay.

-Bye, Mom. -Bye.

He really looks like Paul, doesn't he?

They all look like Paul. I'm startin' to look like Paul.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

You know what? You're starting to look like Paul, too.

Forget it.

Can you feel it? The love?

Um...

Okay. It's stronger on the sun porch. Come on, look.

This is the wheel of fortune, Rebecca. I mean, really look.

I got the wrong husband. You got the right one for not enough time.

And the Tompkins', they got each other for 65 years.

I mean, come on! Man!

Can you feel this? Can you feel this love?

Not really.

I am really looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.

Well, I still think it's too soon.

-Sylvie? -What?

-Where are the plants? -What plants?

The plants that we are here to water. Where are they?

Oh, my God! Are they even out of town?

They could come in here at any... We're not even supposed to be here, are we?

Oh, come on! If you came home

and found two gorgeous women sitting on your sun porch

'cause they wanted a small slice of your fabulous marriage, what would you do?

I would make them bouillabaisse

and teach them to tango, I'd be so pleased.

[LAUGHING]

Hi. I'm not here right now. Please leave me a message. Thanks.

[TAPE REWINDING]

[BEEPING]

[IN LOW VOICE] Why don't you leave me a message? I'll call you back.

Or maybe not, because my voice is too low to actually have a conversation with.

[TAPE REWINDING]

-[SIGHING] -[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPING]

Hi. This is Rebecca. I'm not here right now.

Please leave me a message. Thank you.

-[TAPE REWINDING] -[BEEPING]

Well, I'm back.

[STUDENTS CHEERING]

STEVEN: Thank God!

Professor Myers treated us like this was an undergrad survey course.

We had to write haikus and then ballads in couplets. We were in hell.

Well, I'm sure that Professor Myers wasn't very happy about it either, Steven.

[STUDENTS LAUGHING]

Anyway, guys...

Back to French aestheticism,

which, as you know, or you should know,

talks about the writing of a poem

for a poem's sake,

with a strict emphasis on painstaking artifice.

But really, what's the difference what form the words take,

as long as the reader reacts?

Of course, if you ascribe to the notion of affective fallacy,

where you judge a poem by its affects,

the criticism, and you should write this down,

ends in impressionism and relativism.

It all boils down to...

Words.

Words to complain about other words.

Words to elevate the writer of the words

to heights that only words can take him to...

This is all bullshit, isn't it?

Words don't taste good.

They don't smell good, don't keep you warm at night.

Words don't even ever leave the mind, do they?

So my assignment to you

is to write a poem without words.

It doesn't have to conform to haiku or sonnet form, Steven.

Free verse is fine.

But no words, okay?

By Friday.

[PHONE DIAL TONE]

-Hello? -Lucy. God, finally.

Listen, can I come over,

and, like, you can find something really distracting for us to do.

-Yeah. Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine, really.

-You sure? -Yeah. Okay. I'll be over soon.

-Okay. -Okay. Bye.

REBECCA: Should I just eat from this tin?

Do you have a fork at all?

God, nice shoes.

I mean, I wouldn't want anything obvious, you know, like a rose or a little heart.

Could you pass the rice?

I wouldn't want anything, like, nasty or mean, either,

you know, like a skull or a dagger.

Lucy, this is Chinese rice.

-So? -We're having Indian food.

Oh.

God, how old is this anyway?

Ooh, not as old as this sandwich.

You are so gross, Lucy.

God!

Oh, my God! That's the tattoo I'd want.

What? You want a tattoo of Marcello Mastroianni's face?

Oh, my God! Wouldn't that be so cool?

I mean, I know you hate tattoos, no matter what they are, but...

-No, I don't. -Yes, you do.

I'm becoming one of those people that everybody hates to be around, aren't I?

I'm not fun.

I'm just one of these sad, drippy, un-fun people

who doesn't like tattoos or old food or...

Becky, you just had an unbelievably bad thing happen to you.

You're not supposed to be fun.

And anyway, tattoos and old food are disgusting!

They're not good things to like. I'm a total freak.

No, you're not.

How about if tomorrow we go over to your house

and we plaster ourselves in the sun and paint our fingers and toes?

Okay.

-So where would you put him? -Marcello?

-Yes. -I don't know.

I guess anywhere he'd fit.

[LAUGHING]

Come on.

[CAR HONKING]

[CAR HONKING]

ALBERTA: Oh, no, we're not going in that.

And we may even have to open our own doors.

MAN: Valentino! Valentino!

Valentino!

SYLVIE: Well, wait a minute, now. Why don't you think his name is Valentino?

ALBERTA: Because why would he be standing there, shouting his own name into the mist?

-LUCY: What mist? -I still don't know who you're talking about.

SYLVIE: Because it's a beautiful name.

I mean, if it was my name, I'd be shouting it from the mountaintop.

-You would not! -I would!

-Who are you talking about? -The painter.

Valentino. Don't you just know he loves beautiful women,

and their spirits live in his paintbrushes?

And he paints 'em on all the kind of walls in big houses and little houses,

and he'd just stay married to you for 65 years, I just know.

LUCY: Definitely no.

How could you say such a thing?

Because, Sylvie, Valentino knows that marriage ruins peoples' lives.

-Really? -Yes.

But, see, if he were to fall for someone who was, you know, new to relationships,

then he could teach her stuff, you know?

And everything about the two of them would always be new.

Oh, Lucy, that's so sweet. Tell us more.

I was kidding! God! You believed me?

Wait, here's the truth.

Chicken soup is the most womanly thing on the face of the planet.

This is the truth. I'm telling you.

In the early days with me and Paul, he could not resist me.

He'd come in. I'd have a big bowl of steamin' hot chicken soup waiting for him.

He'd swoop us both upstairs to the bed.

-Me and the soup, I mean. -Unusual foreplay, Sylvie.

LUCY: Well, does it have to be chicken soup?

Or does anything work, like, you know, lentil or split pea?

Um...

Homemade is better.

Does it have to be hot? I mean, would gazpacho work? Is cold soup womanly?

Soup doesn't have a gender. It's just nourishment.

SYLVIE: You're always denying your womanhood.

No, I'm denying the soup its womanhood.

REBECCA: I just realized that we have all kinds of womanhood here right now.

We have a single woman,

a married woman,

a divorced woman,

and, of course, the ever-present widow.

[SYLVIE LAUGHING]

These are just words that describe your marital status, not womanhood.

I don't think you ought to describe yourself in that way, Rebecca.

-SYLVIE: Why not? -I wasn't. I wasn't.

Because it implies that we change ourselves around men.

We are who we are, irrespective of the company we keep.

Mmm-hmm.

Which is why ever since some painter

screamed for his idiot dog with a stupid name,

we have been unable to utter one intelligent word.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

It's the truth. Go, girl.

It's insane.

ALBERTA: Harvey, listen, I'm so glad I got your machine.

I really hate to give apologies live,

but I am sorry that I missed dinner the other night.

Listen, I'll talk to you later, okay? Or not. Bye.

You know, Lucy, I really loved your Valentino.

I mean, the idea of a man who teaches you everything,

and with whom everything is always new. Tell me more.

Didn't you just get through telling me that Valentino is really this guy's dog?

Come on. Just play with me a little here.

I mean, for me that painter could never be Valentino, however lovely he is.

No, I'm the kind who would always rather talk than touch.

Did you know that about me? Even with your father.

Oh, my God.

See, I'd rather imagine the man than know him for sure.

Once I know him, I don't really want him anymore.

No, it's the possibilities of who a man might be that excite me.

It's the possibilities that really get my juices flowing.

Oh, my God!

Do you know the best moment in a kiss for me?

It's right before the lips touch.

-Oh, come on, use your other hand. -I need both.

I don't understand how you can continue to smoke.

Someone in your family had lung cancer.

You know, it's funny how you can never say her name or what she was to me.

My mother. Joanna.

You act as if it were my fault she left.

She didn't leave, she died, Alberta.

-It's the same thing. -No, it is not.

[PHONE RINGING]

-Syl? -Yeah?

I got here as fast as I could. What happened?

Paul left me. We had a really big fight last night.

I woke up this morning, and he was gone.

-He took all his stuff. -Well, where are the kids?

They're at day camp. I took 'em to day camp.

I mean, what am I gonna tell them?

But his clothes are still here.

No, that's not all of his clothes. I swear.

It's a note from Paul. He did leave you.

He's gone to the gym to play racquetball.

You know, I...

What?

Syl.

What? What?

What does it say?

I can't see. I got tears in my eyes.

What does it say?

Um...

Well...

It says he went to the gym...

And that he loves you and hopes that you feel better.

-He's so sweet. -Oh, Syl, Syl.

I don't know.

We really need to find you a good therapist.

Are you mad at me?

No.

So you want to go have breakfast?

No, Syl. I have to go to work.

Okay.

What are you gonna do?

-Tompkins. -Tompkins.

-Hi, Luce. Hi. -Ready?

-Yeah. -Professor Lott. Hi.

-I need you to read this poem for me. -It's...

I thought it was brilliant this morning, but now I hate it.

Not now, Steven.

-Please? -Steven!

LUCY: Okay, okay, okay. Got it, got it.

You get...

The best body in the entire world

and no more pimples for the rest of your life,

but you can never go to the beach again or eat Chinese food.

-No way. -You would too.

I would not. Pick something else.

I don't hate my body enough to give up the ocean.

Um...

Your poetry gets compared to John Donne.

Hmm.

Wait. What do you mean, you don't hate your body?

I don't hate my body. I'm not in my body. I don't have a body.

Okay, you.

You get the best body in the world, no pimples for the rest of your life,

$10 million and your photography gets compared to Diane Arbus.

-[MOCK CHEERING] -But for the rest of your life you have to live with Alberta.

No.

-And no one ever gets cancer ever again. -No.

-The landfills are all empty. -No.

-There's no more war, ever. -Nope. No.

[LAUGHING] God.

You live with Alberta.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

So, do you want me to, you know, go up there with you or...

No. I really think it's something I need to do by myself.

I've put it off for so long, and, besides, they need the office space.

Thank you.

Call me later, when you...

You know, I really don't think I wanna keep any of it.

Sid, I think we should donate it all to the library.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

Take your time.

Chiclets?

I didn't know that he liked these.

I'll keep these.

It's my sister's first birthday without her husband.

-Oh, is it now? -Yeah.

He was, he was hit by a car last spring and killed.

-Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. -Yeah.

So I wanna get her something really special, you know?

Well, how about the doggie here? This is Ralphie.

She doesn't like dogs.

Ooh, gosh. This is beautiful.

Oh, now that frame is real silver.

Real silver.

ALBERTA: Yes, it's a gift for my daughter.

Good. So I'll put my assistant on,

and you can tell him where to send the deposit and all that, all right?

Hold. Marc? Handle the rest of this, would you? Line two.

Sure.

-Surprise! -[SHOUTING]

-God! You guys! -Happy birthday!

Your face! Your face!

-God. Jeez. -This is for you.

-What is it? -Open it.

What is it? What is it? What is it?

Oh, Luce.

I made it.

Thanks.

That's sweet. Thank you.

-Les fleurs. -Ooh, the pot. Very nice.

-Thanks, Syl. -Yeah.

You guys.

I have got a really big surprise for you today.

And I think it is just arriving.

-You got her a dog? -No, wait.

'Cause you know, I really don't know about dogs, Alberta.

-Everybody knows about dogs. -Oh, my God!

It's the painter.

The painter? What is he doing here?

Well, he's here to paint your house, silly.

I mean, that's my surprise. That's the big birthday present.

-That's a big present. -Uh-huh.

But I thought it would be nice to have something

fresh and new to come home to, a new house.

-[DOORBELL RINGING] -Wow.

Listen. You stay here. I will handle everything, okay?

Oh! Now, I understand he doesn't speak any English,

but his boss says it's okay to point. He's supposed to be fabulous.

Don't say a word. We know you don't speak any English.

Your boss explained it. It's perfectly okay. We like to point.

Actually, when it comes to men, I prefer to point.

Come on in.

-Oh, what a great ass. -Alberta!

I can't believe you!

I really hope that he understood that, Alberta.

So do I.

Thank you.

Now, honey, what I was thinking was a kind of, cheery yellow.

You know, something like this, only without so much green in it.

You know, I don't really think the house needs to get painted,

but, you know, that's a great color. It's good.

All right, then.

This color, but with less green.

I don't think he understands. Sylvie, would you get some butter?

Butter. Stick or tub? Doesn't matter, does it?

Alberta, I hope you're not planning on doing anything disgusting with the butter.

Lucy, don't be ridiculous.

You know, I really think this is kind of too much, Alberta.

I mean, I would have liked a nice sweater or...

Butter. Butter.

He'll get it now.

So, this color, but more like this.

Now, you go mix paints.

Bye-bye.

You know, I guess you guys were expecting Umberto.

Oh, no, I was expect...

No, no, no, no, no. You see, Umberto was the guy on the schedule.

And anyhow, he's the one that doesn't speak any English.

Well, he got sick, you got me, and here...

I think you chose a great color,

I'm flattered that you like my ass and if it's okay,

I'm gonna come back first thing tomorrow morning and get this goin', all right?

Bye-bye.

[ALL LAUGHING]

But admit, admit...

It's better to have wrinkles than to have a face

that's stuck in, like, that G-force thing,

that, like, has shellac on it.

No. No, no, no. There is nothing worse than wrinkles.

No, sagging, hanging things are definitely worse than wrinkles.

Ew!

I think I'm gonna take myself home.

Yeah, I gotta get goin' too.

I cannot believe that that painter guy is gonna come back here.

That man makes me wanna do wild things. [CHUCKLING]

Like what?

Well, like, I want him to get a little skinny paintbrush with a little tube of paint,

and just run it up inside my thigh, make a big old question mark.

-[LAUGHING] -Uh-huh.

-What color? -Fuchsia or aqua.

-Why? -Because it looks good on my skin.

Oh.

Yeah.

Well, why don't you do this with Paul?

Come on.

No, no. It's a good idea.

I mean, depends on what you want.

If you wanna try and save your marriage...

Yeah, actually, I'd like to.

Why don't you take Paul to a hotel?

Because I really don't think you should be doing the painting thing

at home in front of the small children.

-Why not? -I think that's a great idea.

Go to a hotel. It'll be my treat.

Are you kidding?

No. No, just call up Marc. You'll have a sweet at the Shery any time you want.

-Thank you. -Welcome.

Okay, it's time to go. Happy birthday, Rebecca, honey.

Thanks.

Happy birthday.

♪ I'm getting painted In a hotel, yeah

♪ Happy damn birthday I love you very much ♪

"Moaning fucking Lisa. I thought you meant those moans.

"You left your lips in my ashtray and your smile in the head,

"ready to be flushed.

"And I, red with waiting, look for a new smile."

Mmm-hmm.

Unfortunately, we have gone way over.

I'm really sorry, but we're going to have to do the critique next time.

In addition, Fiona and James, your turn will be up.

What? You can't do that to me.

Okay? Thank you, everybody.

I won't make it without knowing what people think of it.

It's good for you, Steven.

Really, it's part of the discipline,

to wait for an opinion without disintegrating.

I liked your poem a lot.

You hated it.

-I liked it a lot. -Hi.

-Hi! -I hope I'm not late.

Lucy, this is my student Steven. Steven, this is my sister Lucy.

Lucy, hi. Pleasure to meet you.

Would you mind if we skipped dinner tonight?

I'm really just in the mood to be at home, you know?

-Yeah, okay. Yeah. -Yeah. You sure?

Okay. Well, I should get going, because the traffic's gonna be really bad.

-Okay. -Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

You two look like sisters.

We are sisters, like she said. Hello.

-You in school? -N.Y.U.

We're on a blind date, aren't we?

I don't know. It happened so fast.

You know, maybe this is just us talking.

No, this is us on a blind date.

So if we are, how unhappy are you?

How unhappy are you?

Not very unhappy.

I'm not, either.

You wanna go do something?

Um...

I mean, unless, you know, if you have something else to do...

Oh, no. I mean, you know, yeah.

We could do something.

Great.

[MAN WHISTLING]

Um...

Excuse me.

Oh, hi.

Hi?

It's 10:00 at night. What are you doing here?

Painting.

In the moonlight.

Actually, it makes the job more interesting.

You see, I could be anyone,

painting anything, anywhere, you know?

Okay.

You know, I'm having trouble sleeping,

and I really think it's better if you go back to your normal schedule of painting.

Okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello?

Rebecca, honey, is that you?

I'm sorry. You've got the wrong number.

Lucy, don't hang up.

[IMITATING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Thank you, Mama. Bye-bye.

[LAUGHING]

Lucy...

-Hey. -Hey.

Aren't you gonna be late for work?

I have a few minutes.

Cool. What's going on?

Nothing much. I like these, Syl.

Those are dream pots. Damn. Damn.

I got 'em filled with all kinds of stuff.

You know, little bones and pieces of feathers,

flowers, broken glass.

You know that place we hate, that gallery over on Seventh?

The guy with the moustache, made you move your car?

He wants to carry 'em, but he wants to put labels on 'em, warning labels.

You love it? Dream pots by Sylvie with warning labels.

-It's too delicious. -Do I smell different?

-What? -I smell... Shriveled.

I do, and I'm starting to look like...

BOTH: Georgia O'Keeffe.

I feel like I should be living in the desert, completely shrouded in black,

and surrounded by skulls.

I'm serious about this. Widowhood happens on a cellular level.

It's happening in my face, as we speak. I swear to God, I smell different. Smell me.

I don't wanna smell you. I don't wanna smell you. God bless ya!

Could you just stop thinking about yourself for one second?

I mean, your time of self-absorption, it's up.

Excuse me? You're telling me about self-absorption?

Miss Self-Absorb is telling me about self-absorption?

Yeah, I am. Okay?

You're not the only one who's lost a husband here.

Mine didn't go in one fell swoop,

but it's taken Paul years to disappear from this marriage.

But I can't sit around and think about that

because I have three fuckin' kids watching every move I make.

So, from where I sit, I think you have it pretty good.

Because nobody is sending me condolence cards and divorce casseroles.

Nobody is looking out for me, you understand?

Fine. That's perfect. That's wonderful. Great.

[SIGHING]

-I'm a jerk. -I'm an asshole.

No, I'm completely self-absorbed.

Yes, you are, but it's understandable.

It's okay for you too. All right, all right. Enough.

All right.

You're looking good today, Syl, really.

-And I like the pots. -Yeah?

-Yeah. -Cool.

So tell me, how come we're not married?

'Cause I still think it's a bit too soon for me.

You're probably right, but I'd still like it,

because our worst fight is like me and Paul's best day.

Hmm.

You know what I wish?

I wish you could jump into Paul's body,

except during sex when I want Paul to jump into that painter's body.

[LAUGHING]

And I'd be left with that Tompkins porch feeling,

and my life would be absolutely perfect.

See, I'm not getting the shriveled thing. To me, you look gorgeous.

Well, picture shriveled,

and then give me the exact opposite of that.

I wanna look like the girl in the Guess jeans ad.

You want hair that just got off a motorcycle without a helmet?

Yeah.

[HAMMERING]

-Hi. -Hi.

-I'm sorry about last night. -It's no problem, really.

I'd like to make it up to you, if I could.

You don't have to make it up to me.

You wanna get a pizza or somethin'?

Uh...

No.

Thank you.

You look different.

Really?

Well, I was just driving with the window down, and, you know...

You know, I could get a pizza.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

All right. Come on. Hop in.

Oh, hello. Hi there.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Get in back.

Crazy dog.

Wouldn't want that to happen to my hair.

PAINTER: Wow.

Can you explain that look to me?

I mean, I've never understood that.

Well, secretly, they'd like to be invisible.

They hate their bodies and their mothers,

and their hair and their teeth and their lives,

but they don't want you to know that, so they spend all day,

every single day, creating that look,

so nobody ever asks who they really are.

You know?

Jesus, I'm almost afraid to ask, but what can you tell about me?

[CHUCKLING]

Well, nothing, really.

I'm only insightful about women.

How'd that happen?

I'm not really sure.

All right. Well, try it. Just make it up.

I mean, if you had to, what could you tell about me?

You think...

You think I was ever married?

-No. -Divorced.

Wow. See? I'm not good at men.

-Come on. Try. -I'm not good at men.

-Come on. -No. Okay.

[CLEARING THROAT] All right.

You're really an artist.

-An oil painter. -Oil painter.

You just paint houses as a sideline thing.

No.

[CHUCKLING]

-I'm a house painter. -Of course you are.

-I paint signs as a sideline. -Oh yeah?

Yeah. See that "free delivery" back there?

That's me. Early me, but, you know, me nonetheless.

-I've gotten better since. -That's nice.

-A nice sign. -Yeah. [LAUGHING]

-You're eatin' that pizza like a mouse. -Oh yeah?

This is mama's pizza.

The best thing about it is you get the grease to run down your hands.

You grab it with both hands, you stuff it in your mouth. Watch me.

[CHUCKLING]

Here.

-You're a real pig. -I know.

God. Let me tell you about you now.

Uh-oh.

Needless to say, you're a neat freak.

You're the type that's never had a pizza delivered because that big box

doesn't fit in any of your trash cans, right?

Mmm.

That was very good.

That's very good.

And... You just dumped your boyfriend,

so now you're going through one of those "I hate all men" periods too, aren't you?

Yes. That's it exactly.

I told you I'm good at this.

-Lucy? -Yeah?

Take off your clothes.

We don't even have to do anything.

I mean, we can just, you know, snuggle.

Absolutely not.

Okay.

I first have to show my sister.

She'll tell me the truth before I humiliate myself.

I don't know what we're dealing with here. It could be very bad.

What, you don't know what you look like naked?

No.

Well, what about when you take a shower?

I never look.

Okay. Show me. I'll look.

I know I'll love it.

No.

Okay.

Luce?

Yeah?

How about just the jacket?

[CHUCKLING]

"Lucy.

"Lucy.

"Lucy.

"Lucy.

"Lucy.

"Lucy."

It's wonderful, Steve,

but it's not a poem.

It's more like your own personal ode to Gertrude Stein.

What are you saying? It's redundant?

No. I'm saying that it's not a poem.

Well, you weren't really listening.

You weren't really paying attention.

Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

LUCY: Just don't laugh when I open the door.

REBECCA: I won't. I promise, Lucy.

-It isn't exactly a new outfit. -Come on already, Luce.

What do you think?

Oh God, you're absolutely gorgeous.

[GASPING]

Really?

You're a total knockout.

Really? But... Do you mean it?

Well, wait. Turn around.

It's still great.

[LAUGHING]

I'm so happy!

No, I'm serious. You should never wear clothes. Ever.

Let's not get crazy.

Come here.

Look at you.

So I'm taking it

that you and Steven are liking each other?

-Yeah. -Well, that's good.

I think that's good. I'm glad. Are you... Have you...

-No. No. -No?

'Cause I need your advice.

-On moaning. -Moaning.

Yeah. Now, is it better to moan,

or to act like you're stifling the moan,

or just not to moan at all?

Just be natural. Don't act. Just be yourself.

Becky, we're not on a talk show, you know? You can tell me for real.

Well, it's been a long time,

but, in my experience,

the best thing...

Is to breathe...

Very deeply at first.

That way you bring him inside you.

First through his smell,

and then through the rhythm of your own breath,

until...

Those places inside you start to

tighten and to tingle,

until you hit the change.

The change is where things really start happening on their own.

Mmm. And that's where I do the moaning.

No, that's where you let go.

Let go of what?

You're being too vague. Start from the beginning,

and don't use phrases like "places inside" and "hitting the change."

What is that? Be specific, okay?

When do I moan? I mean, how long should I do that breathing thing?

-Should I open my eyes? Should I open my... -[LAUGHING]

[BOTH LAUGHING]

[SYLVIE AND PAUL LAUGHING]

What... Wait. What... Stop for a second.

-Wait. You just... Yeah? -Sylvie, Sylvie.

-Don't be nervous, baby. -I'm not.

Sylvie, relax.

This was a great idea.

What is it?

What?

I think I just figured out that it wasn't you who didn't want it always.

It was me, wasn't it?

It was me who kept saying no.

Yeah.

It was.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

PAINTER: Hello.

Anybody home?

Rebecca.

Hey.

What, are you moving?

Uh, no.

-Just some cleaning? -Yeah.

Who's Ben?

Ben... Was my husband.

He died last spring.

I'm sorry.

I didn't know. Nobody told me.

I knew there was something very different about you.

There's nothing different about me.

I'm not different.

Okay.

You want me to help you move these?

No.

You sure?

Yes.

Listen, I got a lot of work to do today. I better...

I better get going, all right?

Hey.

There's nothing different about me.

I know.

It's okay to do this.

It's okay to do this.

SYLVIE: And in broad daylight?

-I mean, it's too delicious. -I know.

It's too delicious.

The most amazing thing about it is that halfway through it...

-Bye, Mom. -Bye, baby.

-Oh, God. -That's okay. Go on.

Halfway through it I opened my eyes.

And I really watched him, and he really watched me.

And I should've watched you both.

-No, I'm serious. -Oh, my God.

We both watched everything as it was happening,

and it was so amazing.

I mean, I've never done that before.

I always end up hiding my head or turning away

or getting under the pillow or something.

It was, it was amazing.

[LAUGHING]

-God. -Yeah, well...

Did you think about Ben, you know? Did you...

No. I didn't. Not once.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, my God.

How did he know that your legs would bend back like that?

Because men like that just know these things, Syl.

Oh, man. Oh, man.

[SIGHING]

[TURNS ON ANSWERING MACHINE]

Hi, Becky. It's Luce.

I'm seeing Steven tomorrow night, and I'm still not clear on the moaning thing.

Call me.

[BEEPING]

ALBERTA: Hello, love. I've tentatively scheduled you, me and Lucy

on a wilderness trek,

and we need to talk about dates as soon as possible.

Oh, also, would you please run this by Lucy?

I think she's unplugged her phone again.

[BEEPING]

PAINTER: Hi, it's me.

Just calling to see how you're doing.

Guess you're not home. Okay. Bye-bye.

[BEEPING]

♪ Can't stop Stop the hurting

♪ Can't stop Stop the breaking

♪ Can't stop Stop these tears for you

♪ My dear

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

♪ Don't know Why you're so bad

♪ This life Been so bad

♪ I'm glad I finally Found you here

♪ You're the voice of a dream I had

♪ You're the voice and I'm so glad

♪ You're the wings of a dream

♪ Of a life come true

I love when you sleep with me, Mommy.

Me too, baby.

♪ I sometimes run and chase the moon

♪ I just can't

♪ I sometimes come and chase the view ♪

LUCY: Hi, it's Lucy's machine. Leave a message if you're in the mood.

Hi, Lucy's machine.

Listen, your sister wasn't in class yesterday,

and she didn't show up today, either.

So, I don't know, I just thought you should know.

Anyway, I hope to see you tonight.

I really can't wait.

♪ My heart

[PHONE RINGING]

♪ Booked an absence

♪ My heart looked unfaithful

♪ I see no one can be here ♪

[PHONES CONTINUE RINGING]

♪ Today

♪ My thoughts long been thinking

♪ My thoughts long believing

♪ I see

[PHONES CONTINUE RINGING]

♪ No one can be here

♪ With me

♪ You're the light of the dream I had

♪ You're the voice and I'm so glad

♪ You're the wings of a dream

♪ Of a life come true

[PHONES CONTINUE RINGING]

♪ There's no denying

♪ I sometimes run and chase the moon

♪ And think of you

♪ I sometimes run and chase the view

♪ And I love you

♪ I sometimes run and chase the moon

♪ And I'm just dreaming

♪ I sometimes run and chase the moon ♪

Did you get a hold of Sylvie?

-She went right over. -What happened?

I don't know.

SYLVIE: So I can't get you something to drink, like water?

And I can't make the bed for you.

Are we back in that Georgia O'Keeffe thing?

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

Okay.

What brought this on?

She slept with the painter.

You did?

Oh, shit.

I can't hold this in anymore.

I can't, I just can't. God damn it.

I can't... I've been...

I've been holding this in for so long,

like it was my virginity or something.

You know, like, after it was over,

I could never not know again.

Not know what?

That the last... The last time I saw Ben,

we had this really huge fight.

We had this fight because...

I didn't want... Didn't want to have a baby.

You both didn't want to have a baby?

No, it was me, okay? He wanted to for years.

I was the asshole that kept saying no.

And I keep thinking what if he had this inner time clock

that was just ticking faster than other people's?

What if he knew that he was never gonna get old again?

What if he just wanted to leave this little part of himself behind,

and I was the one who said no?

-Why didn't you want a baby? -Because I was mean!

Because he always got everything he ever wanted.

He wanted this house, so we lived here.

He wanted to teach at that university, so that's where I went.

Because he was the God damn center of everything, including me.

And it was a well-known fact

that he was gonna be the greatest God damn father that ever lived.

And that I was gonna be the worst mother.

That is not true.

Look at me. Everything always has to be just so with me, doesn't it?

God, I'm not even good with dogs.

Can you imagine the kind of mother that I would be?

-You would have been a great mother. -No, I wouldn't.

You took really good care of me after Mom died.

Lucy. I would have made so many mistakes with that little baby,

it would have only have loved Ben.

It would have only loved him.

So I didn't have it.

And now they both hate me.

-Who? -Ben!

Ben and this stupid God damn baby that I'm never gonna have!

[CRYING]

And I just don't wanna let go.

I just don't want to.

Oh, God, I don't wanna let go.

[CRYING]

SYLVIE: I think we should go somewhere really special.

If you think I'm doing Tompkins' porch tonight, you're wrong.

I mean all of us.

I think we should go and let go, hmm?

ALBERTA: Isn't this fun?

You know, I've read about men's groups doing this kind of thing,

and I've always hated to be excluded.

LUCY: Sylvie, I don't understand what we're doing here at 5:00 in the morning.

ALBERTA: This is like wilderness bonding, or Outward Bound,

when a group of people come together, and they get to know each other really well,

only you can't force this sort of thing. It has to happen naturally.

-What are you talking about? -Come on, now. You ready?

Come on. Come on.

Okay. Let's make a circle.

And we'll just breathe deep, and we'll say why we're here.

Each of us individually, okay? I start. Okay.

I'm here, first to say thank you to some pretty great women.

You know?

And to ask them to give me the strength

to stay on the path I seem to have chosen.

I don't know if I can do it.

But I'd like to try.

So, thank you.

Alberta.

I'm here...

You're here to say hello to someone who you've never met.

-No. Not, not now. -Oh yes. Now.

This is the perfect time. This is the only time, Alberta.

Say hello to my mother.

Say it.

All right. Hello.

Say her name. Say, "Joanna," please.

Hello, Joanna.

Ask her how she's doing.

Your daughter wants to know how you're doing, Joanna.

LUCY: And please tell her that I miss her and that I love her very much.

Stop it, Lucy. You're being cruel.

Well you know what? If Alberta wants me so badly, she has to do this.

Joanna, your daughter Lucy misses you very much...

And loves you very much.

I know, because every time I reach out to her,

it only makes her miss you more.

I envy you, Joanna.

It would be such an honor

if she would let me complete the job you started.

I would do anything for that honor.

Even this.

You don't have to say anymore.

ALBERTA: I need your help, Joanna.

I need your help to open a door to Lucy.

Tell me what words you used to chase away her nightmares.

Or how you held her so she didn't squirm away.

Whisper to me the secrets of your motherhood.

I can't hear you, Joanna.

You can stop.

What are the secrets of motherhood, Sylvie?

Do you have to give birth to know them?

No, it just takes practice.

You're doing fine.

Lucy?

When I was younger,

I used to have this list that I had made,

describing my perfect man.

He had to have humor,

wisdom, compassion,

and beautiful hands.

Like Ben.

I really loved my husband, you guys.

He was everything to me.

And it all got ripped away,

ripped apart at this one moment.

And suddenly I was alone.

I don't know. Maybe that's why I held on with this grip so tight,

because if I let go, he would be gone forever.

[CRYING]

But he is gone.

Forever.

And it's okay,

because I loved him.

Because he knew that I loved him.

And that's all there really is.

And I guess what I have to say

is really simple.

Ben,

with all of my heart,

and with everything that I am,

my love,

good-bye.

[THUNDER ROLLING]

♪ Well, all right

[ALL LAUGHING]

♪ You gave it all up for me

♪ You think you're unkind

♪ To lock the door and leave no key

♪ You're unsure

♪ Well, baby, I'm scared too

♪ When the world

♪ Comes at you

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the storm outside

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the endless sky

♪ Disillusion

♪ Has an edge so sharp

♪ Tears up your soul

♪ And leaves a stain upon your heart

♪ I need you

♪ To walk by

♪ You felt so good

♪ And you needed me

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the storm outside

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the endless night

♪ Your struggle with darkness

♪ Has left you blind

♪ I light the fire in your eyes

♪ Your struggle with darkness

♪ Has left you blind

♪ I light the fire in your eyes

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the storm outside

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the endless night

♪ Your struggle with darkness

♪ Has left you blind

♪ I light the fire in your eyes

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the storm outside

♪ Let me be your shelter

♪ Shelter from the endless night

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Let me be your shelter Shelter

♪ Shelter, shelter, shelter