Original subtitles

Dude.

Unbelievable.

Did I tell you what, um, Eddie did last night? Or the other day?

No.

What? What'd he do?

Fuck. Oh my god. Honestly, I'm so glad you stayed over, because, like, I really

needed last night so fucking bad.

Yeah, I mean, of course.

You know, I'm always here. I know!

That's why you've been my best friend forever.

I love you. You're my, like, you really have always been there for me through

fucking everything.

You know?

But, um...

Eddie, man.

But, like, I know you haven't met him.

Um, like, he's just giving me some issues. And I haven't even dated for,

like, how long has it been? Like, six months or something?

Yeah, I mean, at least. I mean, you talk about him all the time. I feel like I

know him.

I know. And I, like, genuinely thought we were, like, super good.

But I, um, I forgot to tell you about this.

the um like was it last week we went out to dinner it was really it was super

fucking nice like he took me to this really nice steakhouse uh in beverly

hills and it was gorgeous and obviously you know i don't eat meat so they had

like nice seafood options really good anyways um we had a really nice night

out and we went like went to like a comedy store and like went out and went

to some like club or something after and um

i he didn't want to like i didn't want him to drive like we ubered around i was

like hey dude i can't like let him like just go home like that so i was like

dude just stay the night at my place it's like not a huge deal it's fine and

fucking like kryptonite every time like fucking i just couldn't fucking help it

dude um he was passed the fuck out and i'm like i looked through

his phone

Oh, Kami.

I know.

How did you do that?

I know.

I just, like, could not help myself. Because I'm like, there's not going to

be anything there. Because he's great. He's so fucking perfect. I'm like,

there's not going to be anything there.

And?

What'd you find?

Like, almost all his, like, the people he's following on Instagram are, like,

IG and, like, OF. Like, OnlyFansGirls.

And, like...

That alone was like, okay, like not, not like the greatest thing, but

I went through his likes and through his comments.

Scott, like this is foul.

The way he's like speaking to some of these girls is like foul. He was

messaging them? Yeah, like DMing them.

the worst part was like he was like dming a bunch of them and like none of

them have responded so like i don't know i don't know i don't know what's worse

that he's like thirsty as fuck like what what is the point of that super weird i

thought you said this guy was a nice guy he is wow what are you i don't know like

like i thought we were exclusive so that kind of means like you know

we're not like

entertain anybody else but i guess i was wrong maybe i don't know what are you

gonna do i don't know i don't think he knows that i know i don't you

didn't confront him no how could i i

have like some evil twisted ideas but i don't know they're kind of it's kind of

fucked up what do you mean you're gonna get revenge

i mean i obviously don't want to date him anymore but i don't want to break up

with him like just over that because then i feel like he'll just like try to

justify it or i don't know he'll just try like shrug it off and then like i

might be tempted to be like oh whatever you know but i kind of want to get back

at him like i want to announce it in a way that's like kind of fucked up you

know like how i don't know like fuck someone else or something

I mean, I guess.

Is there anyone that he, like, doesn't like?

Well,

I know you're not his biggest fan.

What? I haven't even met the guy.

I know, but still.

Y'all have, like, a secret beef with each other. Because you're just kind of

communicating through me.

Going back and forth between the two of you constantly.

Yeah, but he knows we're just friends.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, like, and I always tell him, like, I'm like, dude,

like, Scott's, like, not the guy you need to worry about. Like, and Eddie

knows that.

Um, and we've known each other for so long.

Yeah. Yeah.

Come on. Are you really not understanding, like, what I'm, like,

hello? Like, like, like, us, like, us, like, being, like, we

can't.

I mean, I... Why not?

Because, Kim, we've been friends for, like, forever, and, like... Yeah, so?

Wouldn't that... I just... I don't want to make things weird between us.

It wouldn't be weird. I think it would deepen our friendship.

Do you think we'd be, like, be friends and stuff?

Why wouldn't we?

I don't know. You've known me forever. Come on. I know. I, like...

i'm not gonna ask this of you all the time like it's just i think it'd be

funny you think it'd be funny yeah i think it'd be hilarious i tried to like

a couple years ago i'm like well okay well i was not in a good place in my

life dude and i kind of thought we kind of forgot about that we were kind of

just pretending it wasn't that it didn't happen i mean it was a wild night you

know

I mean, why not?

You're getting bricked up, fuck, dude.

I just, I can't. If you touch me like that, of course I am.

See? I knew you had a thing for me. You just, you're hot, you know?

Speak for yourself, fuck.

I mean, I don't think, I think it'd be funny.

we don't do like anything crazy like what if i just like jerk you off or just

like give you head or something oh okay i think we could do that

and if more happens more happens i mean we're not gonna we're both like we're

we're older wiser you know we're like i'm just nervous

i guess i just i don't know why it's fine it's fine that's okay i'm going to

resume but it's like it's got like a weird ask and it feels like a weird ask

but i think it'll be fine like it's not a huge deal don't worry

oh right now yeah right now dude gotta take advantage of your morning wish

I mean, I've seen it through your pants before.

I'm like, when you hit your accidental boners. But I'm like, fuck. I was not

ready for this.

Do you like it?

Are you kidding me?

Do you think it's nice?

Mm-hmm.

thicker than i thought it would be that's good right yeah it's good

but he has like a pencil deck and i it's

like fine but like this is so much nicer

You're so fucking hard.

You're like my wet little mouth.

It feels so good.

Oh, she's so good.

See,

it's not so weird, huh?

It's so bad.

I mean, do you want this to be it or do you want

more?

You're going to see how my pussy feels.

I'm so fucking sure you're kidding me.

Fuck.

It's so good.

Oh my god

So

good

He never gave a damn.

God, yes.

God, I did not think you'd feel this way.

Thank you.

Let me grab my phone, grab a clip. Let me send a clip to Eddie.

Should I?

I don't know.

Yeah, we should.

Hey,

Eddie.

Guess what?

You're a fucking bitch.

I'm fucking crazy. Yes, I am.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Just like that. Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, my God. Right there.

Oh, don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Fuck me!

God,

I'm so lucky, but... Oh my god.

Fuck, Eddie, I need this every day.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, give it to me.

Fucking call me. Please, please, please.

Yes,

yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Like literally.

I've done that a thousand times in my mind.

Yeah. Before doing this. Really?

Yeah.

It was even better.