Original subtitles

yeah look at the oh dad leaving his clothes on the counter

Okay.

It's gonna happen this time.

Right. No, no. We're gonna make a baby. That's right.

It's gonna happen.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

You almost done?

Well, I mean, do you want me to stop?

No, I just mean go ahead and come whenever you want. Okay. Yeah.

Hey, what's that?

Is that a pregnancy test?

Yes, and it's another negative.

Another negative? Wait, I thought you and my dad had given that up.

No, we haven't. We're still trying. Your dad said that he wanted to have another

go at it when he got his prescription for Viagra. And you know I really,

really would love to be pregnant.

It's my biggest dream.

I just want to be a mom.

Yeah, but Dad's getting pretty old, isn't he?

I mean...

We had his sperm count done, and it was a little low, but it wasn't impossible.

Yeah, I guess so.

We've just been trying for a while now.

The fertility doctor gave me some new stuff, so we're going to try these. I've

just got to try and have your dad use these, and we're going to see if I can

get the plumbers going.

Yeah, well, I mean, just got to be positive about it. I'm sure it'll

happen, right? Especially if he has these now.

Yeah, we'll see. I'm trying. We're trying.

We're trying.

But, hey, you could always use a sperm donor.

Your father would have a fit.

You know your dad is so macho and so masculine that that would just really

hurt his feelings.

Yeah, yeah, he's pretty macho. But, I mean, it's not the worst idea.

It's not the worst idea.

Right? I mean, he could have had a twin brother.

Maybe that would have helped. If he had a twin brother, yeah.

Right? That probably would help.

Oh, hey, even his son, right?

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

You're hilarious.

What are you up to today?

Well, actually, I think I'm about to go over to my friend's house. Oh, nice.

Have fun.

Well, you guys have a good time.

Well, thanks. I appreciate it. See you later, sweetie.

Hey.

How's it going?

Good. Where are you going? Are you going to work? Yes, I'm headed to work.

The game's on later. Will you record that for me?

Yeah, here.

All right. Well, have a great day.

Hey, thanks, Dad.

Whoa.

That's a little intense.

Oh. Oh.

Hey, Oliver. How are you doing?

Hey.

Yeah, he said he was going to work.

Yeah, he has to go to work.

Did you hear that in there?

No, I didn't hear any of that. What was it?

Well, the doctor, the test came back. Even after all the supplements and all

the pills that they're giving your dad, his sperm count is so low. It's not

going to do it. So the doctor actually agreed with what you said the other day,

and he suggested that we use a sperm donor.

Nice. See, there you go.

Well, I mean, the problem is, though, your dad is not okay with it.

Absolutely not, he said. He will not have another man's sperm getting me

pregnant. He says it's got to be his because it's got to be his baby. It's

got to be his genetics. It's got to look like him. It's got to talk like him.

It's impossible.

Really makes me wish he had a brother.

Right?

That does bring me to a really awkward question.

So one thing I did ask my fertility doctor about is the

possibility of it being a genetically close relative

sperm, if that would be something that could work. And she did say that a lot

of families do that.

A lot of husbands and wives do that with a brother, you know, or something like

that, or an uncle.

Dad doesn't have a brother or an uncle. I know that. So what do they say? Just

say it.

I was wondering, since you are just your father's and your mom's son, you're not

my son, you're my stepson.

I was wondering, since you're 19 now, you're actually prime.

You're... sperm count is is really high and

even my fertility doctor suggested possibly talking about

using your sperm as a donor what i know that's like i

don't know if i can ask my stepson to be my sperm donor but as weird as it is it

does kind of make sense right I mean, your father wouldn't know. It would be

the perfect cover. He would think it would be the perfect cover. It would

protect his masculinity.

It would get me pregnant.

And, you know, it's on paper. It's fake. It's not yours. So, what do you say? Do

you mind? Okay, okay. I mean, what do I have to even do?

Oh, that's what she gave me. She told me. Oh, my gosh.

She told me that you could just come into a cup.

And then if you come in the cup, then all I would have to do is make sure I

can insert it into myself.

And voila, we'll just be how it goes.

So I just jerk off in that cup?

Yeah.

Do I do it right here?

Oh, no, no. You should definitely have your privacy.

Yes, over here.

Definitely do that in your room.

Thank you so much, Stevie.

I know this is really, really awkward.

Yeah. But you heard that in there.

So do you want me to go do that right now?

I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. Let's try it. Let's see if it works.

Okay.

Oh, my God. All right.

I can't believe you're going to do this.

Well, yeah, that's how good it went.

I knew this wasn't going to work.

Are you having trouble?

Yeah.

Do you need a magazine or a porno?

I mean, yeah, maybe something like that.

What? Actually, maybe I could see some of your cleavage or something.

Mine? Yeah, that would probably help me get the edge.

Yeah, if it helps, yeah, let's do it. So just my cleavage? Yeah, yeah, that's

fine. Just band here?

Oh, wow, yeah.

Like this?

Good? Yeah.

Okay. Are you going to just drag off to that?

Do you want me to just hold the cup here?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, like that?

Yeah.

I don't think I'm going to watch, okay? Is that okay?

Okay.

Oh, that's great.

Thank you, sweetie. You're really doing me a huge favor.

You're doing me a huge favor. I'm going to... Oh, damn.

Oh, that's going to... Are you going to come? That's going to make me come.

You better get it in the cup.

Wow, you got all... Okay,

perfect.

Thank you, sweetie.

Okay, I'm going to go and...

I'm going to go try that.

Thank you so much.

Yeah. Okay.

Here's my face.

All right.

Let's see if it works.

Yeah.

Welcome. Come in.

Hey, sweetie. Good morning.

Hey.

So, it didn't work.

I have another negative pregnancy test.

But my doctor did say that we keep trying.

She did think that maybe it wasn't enough cum.

So, I was wondering if you would be able to fill up enough cum.

to be the fat line.

Yeah, but right now or?

Yeah, so that's the other thing too.

I need to actually track my ovulation and make sure that when I'm doing this,

that I'm ovulating.

So I'm actually ovulating right now.

Okay, okay.

So yeah, so you could just jerk off into this and I'll pour it into this.

I mean, don't you want, like, the best cum? Like, I want to give you, like, the

most, um... Do you need me to throw you my cleavage again?

Um, no. I think maybe, like, maybe could you, like, maybe jerk me off?

Me?

Yeah. I mean, I think that would be a lot better. I mean, you'd get all of the

cum, like, that vital, you know?

Yeah, but that seems inappropriate if I'm the one touching you, doesn't it?

Well, I don't...

I don't think it's that.

I mean, don't you, you need this, don't you? Like, don't you want to get, don't

you want to have a baby?

Yeah, I really, really.

Okay, fine, fine. Your dad's in this hour, so let's do this quick.

Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

Yes. Oh, you already ate it.

Well, it was morning.

Oh, okay.

All right, so, yeah.

This is happening, yes.

We're gonna get the come out.

That's all this is. We're just we're trying to fill this cup.

Yeah

Is

that

um getting the swimmers going yeah, okay good, okay

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am focused, yeah. Okay.

Yeah,

keep going, keep going.

Yeah, you're close.

Yeah, mom. Okay.

How are we going to do this? I'm going to get it in the measuring cup.

Awesome. I can measure it.

Okay. Keep going, keep going, keep going. Yeah. Okay.

Are you close? Oh, yeah. Here we go. Here we go. Okay.

Oh,

fuck. I'm coming.

Okay.

Whoa.

Wow.

Okay, great.

Wow.

All right.

So, actually, you know what? I'm just going to keep it fresh and go.

Right? Ovulating right now.

Yeah. I think that's almost to the line. That should be enough.

Thank you, sweetie. Thank you so much. I hope this wasn't awkward for you.

No. Thank you. Yeah.

Oh,

hey. Hey, Dad. How you doing?

What's up, Dad?

Well, you know.

You've heard it.

Crystal and I fight.

Your stepmom, she really wants a baby.

You don't say.

I've had kids.

It's great.

I love having you.

You'll find out one day.

Find out, yeah.

It's a little stressful.

It can be demanding.

Yes, it's not a problem.

So wait, did you need anything, Dad?

You know, the Cobras, they got a pickleball game on tonight.

I think I'm going to put it on pay-per-view. You want one?

Yeah, I'm down for that.

I'll go get it set up.

Perfect, thanks. I'll be out of here. Yeah.

Oh, hey, Crystal.

Hey, Freddie.

What's... Is that another one?

Another negative.

Another negative?

Yeah, I don't know what we're doing wrong. I mean, the last time when I

broke you off, there was so much cum in the cup. I felt like I had so much cum.

Like, I don't know why this isn't working.

Yeah.

Maybe they need to try something else.

Like what?

Well, I mean, you want all the best, best sperm, don't you? Yeah, I need all,

literally the best sperm. The strongest swimmers you got.

Then I think the only way you can get that is if you could give me a blowjob.

Yeah, I think that'll help. That'll definitely get all of that deep sperm in

there to come out.

Wait, you want me to? I know that could get you.

No.

No, this is already inappropriate enough.

Like, I don't think that's the answer to this.

I mean, what am I even supposed to do with it when it gets in my mouth?

Just spit it in the cup.

And then just take the syringe and then just go in there. Wouldn't that be easy?

I mean, you want the best. I know that'll drain me completely.

That'll definitely fill you up.

You think so?

I know so, yeah.

Of course.

You don't want to see that say, not pregnant again, right?

You're right.

You're right.

All right. Let's do it. Let's do it. I'm going to sock myself on the deck.

Let's do it.

Perfect. All right. Let me, um.

So should we do it right here on the couch? Go sit on the couch. I'm going to

go grab the cup.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Perfect.

Okay.

All right.

This is going to work.

You sure?

Yeah.

Okay.

I can't believe I'm about to do this, but I really, really, really want to get

pregnant. Yeah.

You can't tell anybody about this, okay?

I won't tell anybody. None of your college friends.

None of them.

No one will know my stepmom gave me a blowjob.

It's okay.

Yeah, I know that's gonna do it.

oh wow perfectly amazing i

gotta say your cock actually goes all the way down my throat your dad's uh a

little smaller dad is smaller oh this

feels amazing i can't believe you get this wow oh no

your dad rarely gets this

You guys don't even have to use your hands.

Wow.

Oh, using two hands too.

It's been a while since I've given a blowjob.

Oh, I'm coming.

Oh,

shit.

Why did you swallow it?

Oh, no.

Why did you swallow it? I didn't have it. Fuck.

Oh, god damn it.

What a waste of time.

Fuck.

Okay, you know what?

Whatever. We'll do this again later.

I'm going to go do some ovulation medication.

God damn it. I'm so mad at myself.

What a waste of cum.

I'm sorry, Oliver.

It's okay.

That must have been so awkward for you.

Yeah, so awkward. Yeah.

I'm going to go to my room.

Okay. Thank you, sweetie. I'm sorry.

Yeah. I'm really sorry.

It's fine.

Oh, hey, what's up, Dad?

I see you're ready to watch the game, right?

Yeah, I'm ready.

Should we order something?

You want to get some... Pizzas, maybe.

Can we have some pizza, please? Pizza? Yeah.

Pizza? Well, sure, we can have some pizza. Let's call and order some pizza.

Oh.

I flew up on you earlier.

I just, I'm so embarrassed that I swallowed all that cum. This is awkward

enough, you know? Like, I don't need to be wasting any of it. Yeah, no, it's

okay. I mean, I kind of felt bad too.

I mean, we could try again, right? You come over and... Yeah, I mean, I don't

trust myself to not accidentally swallow it again. I just, I was thinking maybe

we need to be more direct.

with it. Like maybe you actually have to have become just directly getting

through my cervix. Like, so I think we need to just, you know, when you're

coming, your cock needs to be inside me.

That's, that's what I think.

So you're saying you, you want to have sex with me? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't want it. We're not going to have sex. I don't want to have sex with you.

I just, when you're coming, your dick, I think needs to be in.

inside me but um but we're not gonna have sex because uh uh we'll just we'll

keep our clothes on we'll just again make sure your dick and the cum are

directly inside me and so then i'm not using the turkey base or or the syringe

or anything um i think that's part of the problem so you just want

you want me to be inside you want me to come inside you but not have sex with

you yes that is exactly it um

Oh, okay, yeah, when you want to do this, that's fine.

Can we do it right now before your dad gets home? I'm ovulating right now. I'm

just meditating for like an hour.

Right.

Yeah, right now.

We'll just, you know, take it out and we'll just, you know.

I won't even look at you.

That's how much we're not going to have sex. I'm not even going to look at you.

We're just going to put your cock in there.

I can't even look.

Oh.

Oh my God.

This is... Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Yeah.

That's nice when you look back at me, Crystal. That's nice. Oh, no, no, no,

no, no, no. I'm just going to keep facing this way.

We're not doing this. We're not, you know.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we're not. We're not. Okay, okay.

Yeah, okay.

Oh, wow.

Oh, God.

Maybe we can... Maybe you could turn around, maybe.

What? Maybe you could turn around. I think... maybe that would help i don't

have to like look at you well close your eyes thank you you're right yeah

No, no

Oh, fuck. Oh, shit.

Oh, my God, your dad's pulling up.

It's your dad's car.

Yeah, you better hurry.

You gotta hurry.

Oh, fuck.

Mom,

come on. Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I'm coming.

You're coming?

Yeah, I'm coming. I can feel it.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, he just broke. Okay, okay.

Pull your pants up. Pull your pants up.

Hey, guys. Hey, honey.

How's it going?

It's going, you know.

Yeah. Yeah, you know.

I had a good day at work.

Yeah, like, you know.

Oh, sweetheart, actually, can you go and get that thing for me out of the

kitchen? Kitchen.

Okay.

Yeah. Good thing.

All right.

Hey, hey, wake up. Wake up. Morning.

Morning. Um, I got another negative.

You woke me up to tell me that?

Yeah, I mean, so...

My fertility doctor told me that the best time to test and have sex is early

in the morning because that's when women are ovulating the most, and it's when

men are the most fertile as well because of the morning wood and everything, all

the testosterone and sperm just running through your balls and your cock.

I do have a morning wood.

Yeah, so I was thinking, because this one's negative, while your dad is still

asleep, I was thinking we could try again, do you think?

Yeah, right now, you're saying?

Yeah, but I was thinking, too, it probably came out negative because we

did it at the wrong time of day, but also, you know, baby-making is all about

making love and connecting with your partner.

We connected last time.

Yeah, but it's got to be more than that. So if you're okay with it,

could we maybe make... make love instead of just putting it in me.

Does that make sense?

So you want to make love with me and you want me to come in you?

Yes. I think that'll work.

Oh. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

Right now? Yeah. Right now.

Okay. Yeah, okay. Just before he wakes up, in fact.

Okay.

We'll be really quick and really quiet, okay?

Okay. Oh, wow.

Oh. Yeah, I mean, this is what I would have worn for your father.

Part of, you know, making love and stuff is wearing lingerie.

Oh, my God.

How could he not like this? Oh, he does. I mean, he loves it. You heard your dad.

That's not the problem.

The problem are his slurs just don't work. But yours, you know, I'm sure

yours are going to, right?

Yeah.

Thank you so much for helping me with this, sweetie. I hope this isn't going

to be awkward for you.

No, no, it's okay.

It's okay, yeah.

I'm fucking my stepson. Yeah.

Oh, don't make your mom do my stepson.

Oh, shit.

Oh, that's so much better than your father's dick. Oh, fuck.

Oh,

my God, yes.

Oh,

fuck.

Yeah, really, just remember we're making love, sweetie.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

yeah, it's so fucking deep.

Oh,

fuck, yes, yes.

Yeah. Oh,

wow. Crystal.

Oh, yeah, that's me. I want it so deep.

Yeah. I want you to bend me over and fuck me, doggy. And just give it to me

so fucking deep.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yes. Mm.

Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

Mm.

Oh, it's so deep

Oh shit.

Oh, your father's dick doesn't even reach that far.

Oh, yeah. Look back at me, Crystal.

What's the deepest?

I think this might be it. Yeah.

Until I get a positive pregnancy test, we should keep doing this nice and early

in the morning.