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[horse neighing]

[horse neighing]

[dog barking in distance]

Lyna!

[water splashing]

[humming]

[humming]

[humming]

[humming]

[horn honking] [horses neighing]

[horses neighing]

[truck motor rumbling]

[truck motor rumbling]

[♪♪♪]

[truck engine starting]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[sobbing]

>>Lyna: All she said to me was to be good, and to listen.

And she never said anymore.

They had no expectations.

I don't think they could even fathom what would happen.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[children chattering in background]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I remember coming into a huge building.

And I remember thesethings in black;

I didn't know what they were.

Black and white, and they were all waiting.

[♪♪♪]

I felt so small, and I was very scared.

[♪♪♪]

I remember being taken upstairs into this dormitory,

where there was about four rows of beds on the one side

and four rows of beds on the other side.

And they were white beds, like hospital beds.

This will be your bed.

Your bed.

Bed, sleep.

Bring her to the shower.

[footsteps]

The savage doesn't believe that cleanliness

is next to Godliness.

When they get a cut or scrape, or even an insect bite,

their mothers leave the wound to fester.

Are you listening to me, Sister Mary?

Yes, Sister.

Lyna, is it Lyna?

Lyna.

Lyna.

Sister Mary, whichever way it is,

for now it no longer pertains.

We'll have this disposed of.

Now, let's give this one a good scrubbing.

I remember being taken into a large shower room,

where I was stripped down, and I was showered.

I never had anybody but my mother touch me,

so that was scary in itself,

having someone I didn't know bathe me.

They dried my hair, and they looked through my hair,

and then they applied DDT.

I didn't know at the time it was DDT, it was powder,

and it really smelt terrible.

Leave this kerchief on for 24 hours to kill the bugs.

Does she understand this?

She will.

Leave this on.

On.

On?

You see, Sister Mary, they learn fast when they want to.

[♪♪♪]

I remember the first night very well.

We went upstairs, and I was taken to my bed.

On your knees, girls.

We had to kneel down again.

On your knees, girls, quickly now, quickly.

Heads down, eyes closed.

Down, eyes closed.

Our father...Girls: Our father...

...who art in heaven,Girls: ...who art in heaven,

...hallowed be thy name.Girls: ...hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,thy will be done.Girls: Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.

I didn't understand the language,

and I just did what everybody else did.

I would look to see what the rest of the girls were doing,

and then follow them.

Forever and ever.Girls: Forever and ever.

Amen.Girls: Amen.

[♪♪♪]

No talking.

No getting out of bed.

Remember, Sister Mary can see you through the window.

There was a Sister that was assigned to take care of us,

and she stayed in a room close to the dorm.

And there was a window, she would be able to see us through

this window, so I feared that window.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

[bell ringing]

[clacking] Good morning, girls, good morning, time to get up,

right away, please, get up! [clacking]

Good morning, get up, please.

When I woke up, my eyes were swollen,

and I could hardly open them.

They had these two wooden, they called them clackers,

and they'd clack them together.

Up, out of bed, come on, please, out of bed.

Twenty-four hours after they had put the powder on my hair,

the yellow powder, I had to go back in the shower,

and wash it out.

[water splashing]

They dried my hair again, and I had to go sit on this chair.

I remember feeling the cold scissors on my hair,

and sometimes kind of hitting me on the head

or nicking me in the ear.

It hurt, it was painful.

I felt that they were taking something away from me.

They were stripping away my humanness,

my sense of who I was.

[♪♪♪] [snipping]

[♪♪♪]

There we are, a brand new start.

[♪♪♪]

Soon you'll be playing with the other children.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

We had to go down the long hallway into the dining room,

and I remember seeing tables and tables

with chairs around them.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

You see, 99, that's you, 99, this is your chair.

This is your bowl, spoon, 99.

I learnt that the name Lyna ceased to exist.

[♪♪♪]

[children chattering in background]

We were all given numbers.

It started with the bigger boys, they were number one all

the way to, I think there was about 120 of us.

But I always remember when Ifirst went there, I was 118.

[laughs] Yeah.

You used to get lonely 'cause you come to realize that

it wasn't the place you thought it was, and away from home.

[♪♪♪]

[bell ringing]

Our people thought that

the government would build a school on the Reserve,

but they went a different route, they built these schools away

from the Reserve, and run by the churches,

and it was kind of a catch-22 situation.

If you didn't send your kids to school,

they threatened you with jail.

[♪♪♪]

What is your name?

Children: What is your name?

My name is.

Children: My name is.

[speaking French]

We were punished in school if we spoke our own language.

When I first went to school, I had to learn English and French.

[speaking French]

I used to wonder, well how come they spoke French and English.

We didn't understand them, and how come they could speak

French, and us, we couldn't speak our language?

[speaking Indian]

And just to be hateful, I'd speak in Indian back to her.

[speaking French]

[speaking Indian]

[speaking French]

And then she'd be getting mad, started talking in French,

and I'd talk back in Indian, and oh, it really drove them crazy.

[speaking Indian]

But you know you paid the price.

[smack]

[speaking French]

[speaking Indian]

You will learn to speak God's language - all of you!

And you will obey.

[smacking]

We still tried, and eventually you get beaten enough you quit.

[bell ringing]

I think we'd wake up at 6 o'clock in the morning,

and then we'd get dressed.

I remember, you know, going to the sink and getting ready,

washing our face, our hands.

I remember the girl beside me always washing her face so many

times and her hands, and wondering why she was doing

that, so I whispered to her I said -

[speaking Indian]

[speaking Indian]

See, you're dirty.

And so she did a comparison with my hand and her hand,

and she was fairer than I was, and I was dark,

and she said that means you're dirty,

and I looked at my hands and I thought, well,

I guess I better wash them.

And speak English, English.

For thine is the kingdom,

Children: For thine is the kingdom,

The power and the glory,

Children: The power and the glory,

Forever and ever.

Children: Forever and ever.

Amen.

Children: Amen.

For those of you who are new to the school, welcome.

[speaking Indian]

Your journey has been long.

You're missing your parents.

[speaking Indian]

Rest assured, they want you to be here.

They want you to learn to become useful,

productive members of the larger world around you.

You will not only learn how to cook and sew and farm,

but you will learn how to pray, and to whom to pray.

[speaking Indian]

The savage and carefree ways you are accustomed to are over.

Your old world is dying, but we in the civilized world want to

save you from certain death.

We welcome you here with open arms, open hearts,

and open minds.

This is the last time you will hear your own language.

To be understood in this country,

to survive in its industries, you will learn to speak English,

you will learn to think in English,

and you will be the better for it.

You may thank me.

Children: Thank you, Father.

Very good.

That is the end of our service.

You may go.

Follow the Sister in an orderly way.

First row, please, quickly and quietly.

Very good.

Second row, quickly, please, quickly.

Come on now.

Now please.

[♪♪♪]

Quickly, children, find your seats, please.

Nice and quiet.

[footsteps]

The very first thing that I recall is that

we were given 10 tokens.

These tokens are for you.

They are for you to keep.

You keep them by speaking English.

Every time you speak your own language, you lose a token.

If we kept the 10 tokens, that meant that, you know,

we knew English, and that we could communicate in English.

English only.

I remember, I guess being in a state of shock...

...wondering, you know, what I was doing there, and why.

No one was allowed to touch each other or to talk to each other.

[tapping]

Who made the world?

God made the world.Children: God made the world.

Who is God?

God is the creator of heaven and earth, and of all things.

Children: God is the creator of heaven and earth, and of all things.

What is man?

Man is a creaturemade of body and soul.Children: Man is a creature made of body and soul.

Sister Mary, what is the point of teaching the catechism

if your students refuse to speak English?

They are trying, Sister.

They are doing nothing of the kind.

Child...99, stand up.

Stand up!

Who made the world?

Who made the world?

[speaking Indian]

There, you see.

This child has very few of her tokens left.

I am trying to reach them.

Reach them, Sister Mary, it is not we who must reach them

but the other way around.

If you coddle these children, you do no one any good.

On the floor, all of you.

On your knees, with your rosaries.

The Apostles' Creed, begin.

I believe in God,the Father almighty,Children: I believe in God, the Father almighty,

Creator ofheaven and earth.Children: Creator of heaven and earth.

Look straight ahead!

Creator ofheaven and earth.Children: Creator of heaven and earth.

Look forward, I say, forward!

I believe in Jesus Christ,his only son, our Lord.Children: I believe in Jesus Christ, his only son, our Lord.

I believe in Jesus Christ.

One of the punishments for speaking our language and

losing all our tokens was to hold your tongue.

Sometimes you had to hold your tongue for about half an hour.

And if you let it go, then it was another half an hour added

onto it, so you're holding onto your tongue for an hour,

and then, you know, your spit would be running down your,

your face.

[♪♪♪]

I used my imagination a lot...to feel safe...

'cause it was tucked away somewhere that an adult

could not go, where I knew they could not see,

where they could not feel, or they could not hear what was

going on in there.

[♪♪♪]

I retreated there a lot.

[♪♪♪]

[children chatteringin background]

[children chattering in background]

You, get back here!

[children chattering in background]

Hey, they couldn't see me from back there.

That's the road to Fort Qu'Appelle.

[children chattering in background]

[♪♪♪]

[door creaking]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Come with me.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I remember telling my Aunt one time about that, and she said,

"No," she told me not to tell lies.

"Priests don't do that, they wouldn't do that," she said.

[♪♪♪]

Nobody believed.

[♪♪♪]

Man, that was a wicked game.

Remember that was crazy one time.

Yeah.

Hey, Glen, there's your cousin.

Hey!

Where are you going?

Home.

For good?

Just to visit, see my folks.

[♪♪♪]

I was raised by my grandfather.

I always kind of, like, envied other kids who had parents

'cause I never got to experience that.

[♪♪♪]

And I wondered, how come they never took me home?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I asked if I could go home, so they said,

"Okay, we'll take you home."

How long you going for?

A whole week.

Gonna sleep in my own bed, gonna eat my own food.

Bring some back for us.

I will.

You ready, Glen?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Are you excited?

Uh-huh.

I just started up the truck.

We'll go inside while it warms up.

[♪♪♪]

By the school there used to be a building,

a house they called the priest's house, where the priest stayed.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

This is an old house, and a lot of secrets.

Do you like secrets?

I knew it.

[snap]

[♪♪♪]

Now, Glen, see what I mean.

What do you suppose is down there?

Would you like to find out?

I want to go.

Of course, of course.

But look.

He pulled the rug open, and there was a trapdoor.

[♪♪♪]

Take a look.

[♪♪♪]

So, I crawled down 'cause I wanted to go home,

but I wanted to also, like, see what he wanted to show me.

[♪♪♪]

Come on, come on.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

There's two doors.

And he opened up the one door, and told me...

"Look, go on, look."

...go look.

Hey!

[bang]

Hey! [banging]

Wait, let me out! [banging]

Let me out! Let me out! [banging]

Please, what did I do? [banging]

[banging]

Let me out! [banging]

I was banging on the door, yelling at him to let me out.

I wanted to go home.

But nobody answered.

[banging]

Let me out!

[banging]

What did I do?

Let me out!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Did you ever sometimes feel, like, silence?

It really is deafening.

[sobbing]

Crawl in the corner, crouched up in the foetal

position I guess you might say, and sit there,

and just hear dead silence.

I'd cry, wondering how come they did that to me.

[♪♪♪]

There was a huge map on the wall,

and this map had different paths.

At the bottom there was hell, in the middle there was purgatory,

and high above the map...

Heaven.

That's where we want to get to.

Do you see?

'Cause we started down here.

[♪♪♪]

That's where our ancestors all went because they were savages.

But not us, we're not dirty like them.

We're not gonna burn in hell.

[♪♪♪]

I didn't want to go to heaven; I wanted to stay in hell

because I knew my people would be there.

Come on, come on.

I was quite chubby when I went to school.

I lost a lot of weight.

I didn't want to eat.

I was starving myself because I couldn't get used to the food,

I couldn't tolerate the food.

I wasn't used to the porridge that was like glue,

powdered milk that was made into milk.

My body was used to food that was totally natural,

like moose meat and berries.

[♪♪♪]

♪♪♪ W, X, Y, and Z.

♪ Now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me. ♪♪

Very good.

Now...stay in your seats.

[♪♪♪]

Fetch the principle.

Run!

[♪♪♪]

They sent me to the infirmary, and I remember being alone,

and there the nurse force-fed me,

trying to get some energy and strength in me.

This is the food you have.

You will learn to eat it or you'll die.

It makes no difference to me what you choose.

[♪♪♪]

She'd tell me you have to eat.

I couldn't.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I remember one night in particular being very curious

as to why I heard a lot of crying down the hallway.

The nurse was not there all the time.

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

I remember this great big, huge black thing.

And all the boys were sitting up in bed, crying.

And the light from the exit sign went bouncing off the face

of this priest.

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

And wondering why the boy was naked, bent over.

Close the door!

Go!

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

I was really scared, and I knew something really bad happened,

but I didn't know what it was.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[dogs barking in distance]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Can I go now?

[bang]

Don't leave me here, please!

Why am I here, why?

What did I do?

Take me home!

Please! Please! [banging]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

There was a girl in there.

[sobbing]

And it seemed like two persons that go in that girl's room,

where that girl was.

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[♪♪♪]

I don't know how much time passed,

but after awhile they'd be gone.

I hear the door closing, and I hear her crying, crying,

and I heard a tap.

[tapping]

And I listened, I tapped back.

[tapping]

Made me feel good in the sense that I wasn't the only one

down there all by myself.

[♪♪♪]

[birdsong]

How did we sleep last night?

Porridge for you, and believe you me, you're going to eat it.

[speaking Indian]

Now you know you're not to speak that language.

[speaking Indian]

Stop it!

Even if you were allowed to speak your nonsense,

I wouldn't be able to understand a word of it.

Now, are you going to eat or not?

A man, I see in boy's room.

A man, boy cry.

Can't understand a word of it.

Boy cry.

Eat your breakfast!

All boys cry.

Eat or starve, damn you. [smack]

Eat!

[♪♪♪]

And then I feared her, so I kept it inside.

I went through the whole day in the infirmary.

And then night came.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] [footsteps]

I could hear the steps coming towards the girl's infirmary,

and I was the only one in there.

[♪♪♪] [footsteps]

[♪♪♪] [footsteps]

[♪♪♪] [footsteps]

And then I couldn't breathe.

I was flipped over, and I felt a hand clamp my mouth

[muffled scream] and I could smell tobacco.

I remember gagging.

I remember a lot of pain.

[♪♪♪]

So that's the reason why I escaped to there...

to that place where I'd be safe.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

When I was in that special place,

that's where I found peace.

[♪♪♪]

I think about it now, and I think to myself that

I'm not the only one that experienced this, the rape.

A lot of, a lot of children in that school were raped,

sexually abused by this priest.

That priest later died before I left Residential school,

and I felt peace.

I remember that when they told us that he was gone,

it was just like there was a load that was lifted,

and I didn't have to worry anymore about the rest of

the boys or girls being raped in the infirmary,

which was supposed to be a place where we went to heal.

[♪♪♪]

When I heard that he had died, I just wanted to dance and laugh,

and I knew I couldn't, but I did it in that special place.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[door creaking]

[♪♪♪] [footsteps]

I don't know how much time passed.

It seemed like I was in there forever.

[♪♪♪]

[door creaking]

[♪♪♪]

[speaking French]

Then this nun came.

[speaking French]

She's telling me not to cry, trying to comfort me.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[speaking French]

[speaking French]

[♪♪♪]

[speaking French]

[speaking French]

She was gonna tell on them.

This is not right, she says, what you're doing to that boy.

[speaking French]

[Speaking French]

[speaking French]

[♪♪♪]

[speaking French]

[♪♪♪]

The girl.

Girl?

The other room. Help her.

[♪♪♪]

She was gone.

They had come and got her, they took her.

[♪♪♪]

I don't know what kind of God they have that loves to hurt

another human being.

Their understanding of God is a kind person,

you know, that's forgiving.

And all the things they did to us,

what kind of God do they have?

All the other physical abuse was nothing compared to being locked

up in that place.

[♪♪♪]

I guess I was in there a week and a half.

[♪♪♪]

And the only reason I was put in there because I was lonesome.

[♪♪♪]

She washed me up.

First time ever washed in a tub 'cause we used to have showers

in the school.

Thank you.

[♪♪♪]

It's all right, Glen.

They won't hurt you again.

You'll see, it's gonna be all right now.

[♪♪♪]

She said she was gonna watch over me, that they won't,

they won't do anything to me.

[♪♪♪]

Okay, I'll be back.

[♪♪♪]

And then she was gone.

At Christmastime, they sent that nun away 'cause she tried

to speak up for me.

[truck motor rumbling]

[truck motor rumbling]

[truck motor rumbling]

He'll never hurt you again.

[truck motor rumbling]

He's going to another school.

[♪♪♪]

Some things you just learn to accept, you have, like,

no control over.

After that, I never asked to go home 'cause I always thought if

I asked to go home, they'd put me in that place again.

[♪♪♪]

They always say some day.

[♪♪♪]

People will listen, some day they'll believe.

[♪♪♪]

[children chattering in background]

Hey, Glen!

When she turns away, we'll go.

What if we get caught?

They bring us back.

They'll give us a lickin'.

They'll give us a lickin' whatever we do.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

How long do you figure to the Reserve?

A couple of days.

We, we should have got more than a couple of potatoes to eat.

We could stop at our Aunt's place in Qu'Appelle.

Yeah, she's a nice lady.

It's only 30 miles.

We could make that easy.

[♪♪♪] [bell ringing]

[♪♪♪]

Come on now, hurry up.

No talking.

Open your books to page 27.

Where are the others?

Where are they?

[children laughing]

[♪♪♪]

We felt like we were on top of the world, yeah,

that we finally we can I guess have that,

a little bit of freedom.

[♪♪♪]

>>Glen: We stayed away from the roads,

that way we could see anybody coming.

[♪♪♪]

We knew where we were going, and we just kept walking.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[knocking]

[♪♪♪]

You'd think you haven't eaten for a week.

The food is terrible at school.

There's worms in the bread sometimes.

Nonsense, they wouldn't give you rotten food.

We'll never have to eat it again.

We'll take some with us, okay, Aunty?

Of course.

[knocking]

We'll be back on the Reserve tomorrow if we don't stop.

Yes, I called.

You boys are getting a good education.

I won't let you throw your lives away.

[♪♪♪]

No, let me go!

You inspired these boys to runaway too.

I hope you're proud of yourself.

You're first.

The rest of you against the wall.

I guess amongst ourselves, we said,

"Oh, I'm not gonna let them do that to us, we'll fight back."

I said, "As soon as he tries to give one, we'll all jump."

Get him!

[grunting & groaning]

Get him on the floor!

He was like a big bear and a bunch of wolves attacking him,

and the bear doesn't know which way to turn.

I can still picture that.

Get him down!

I said let go!

[thump]

Jump on him! Jump on him!

[grunting]

You filthy savages!

Let go of me!

Get him!

You'll all be sorry, the bunch of you.

You better run!

[cheering]

We showed that son of a bitch who's boss.

>>Glen: He locked us in.

Go through the window.

We tried to see how we could get out,

but we were three stories up and there was no way out

even with the window.

They're coming back, we gotta get out!

[♪♪♪]

We knew what was coming,

and we just hoped we'd be able to get through it.

[♪♪♪]

The fear of whether you'd be able to and do it,

that was the biggest thing that went through us.

[♪♪♪]

And they really had their way with us.

[♪♪♪]

We all ended up in the infirmary over a week.

[♪♪♪]

We paid the price because we really got a serious beating for

it, but we always cherished that thought that we fought back.

[♪♪♪]

What is God?

God is a spiritinfinitely perfect.Children: God is a spirit infinitely perfect.

That God of beginning...

God has no beginning.Children: God has no beginning.

He always was andhe always will be.Children: He always was and he always will be.

Where is God?

Children: God is everywhere.

[♪♪♪]

We were in a hopeless situation.

I had nowhere to turn.

You just had to live through it.

[♪♪♪]

[car motor rumbling]

Here she is.

Here are her things.

Come with me.

You there, 99, take her inside.

[birdsong]

[cats meowing in distance]

[crickets chirping]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

The little ones would cry.

They would cry at night because they were hungry.

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

[♪♪♪] [sobbing]

I'm here now, I'm here.

[♪♪♪] [humming]

[♪♪♪] [humming]

We were given different chores to do in order

to change our behaviour and, of course,

conform to what they wanted.

What was required of me was to bring food to the priests

and the nuns, and the food that I took there was, you know,

fresh apples and oranges, vegetables from the garden,

all kinds of desserts that you could imagine, cakes, cookies.

And when I compared it to what we ate, there was no comparison.

Everything that was left over from days and weeks were all

cooked together, and that's what we were presented with.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I spent a lot of my duties in the kitchen.

I want you to clean these dishes, okay.

Sometimes I was in the kitchen because I was being punished

for something I did.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[speaking Indian]

[♪♪♪]

[gasp]

What do you think you're doing?

Where did you get these apples?

I stole them.

Why?

For the children.

Every night they cry them self to sleep from hunger.

You've seen what they give us to eat, it makes us sick.

Report me, I don't care.

[♪♪♪]

Come with me.

All of you, out of your beds, come, come with me!

And I thought, oh no.

No talking.

Quickly, quickly.

She went and got a box of bread, a huge jar of peanut butter,

and she went into the kitchen and made a great big,

huge pot of cocoa.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

We told her we were hungry...

Shh!

[♪♪♪]

...so she fed us.

[♪♪♪] [giggling]

[♪♪♪] [giggling]

[♪♪♪]

[birdsong]

[clacking]

[♪♪♪] [clacking]

I remember the last day of school.

I felt a freeness, almost like I had a huge burden that was being

taken away from me.

[♪♪♪]

And I remember talking to one of my grandfathers.

All he told me was you're not gonna be there forever.

Life doesn't have to be that way, he says.

When you get out you can live the life the way you feel

it has to be.

And I always prayed for that age when I get out of there.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I had so much rage.

It took a long time to make peace with the church.

[♪♪♪]

When I got out of Residential school,

I made a promise to myself, I was gonna try to live the way

I felt life should be lived, but it was hard once you got out

of there too.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

You're all of a sudden in a different world

where there's so much freedom.

Just like a lot of those that are in jail a long time.

All that feeling they can't handle it, same with us.

A great majority of us, we couldn't handle that freedom.

[♪♪♪] [horses neighing]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

My friends, well a lot of them died alcohol related deaths,

suicides when they got out of school.

[♪♪♪]

And I come so close to doing that.

[♪♪♪]

I was a orphan, and it's a hard way to live.

I used to always see others that had parents,

and I used to kind of envy them that they're so lucky,

they're so lucky to have parents;

they don't know what it's like to grow up without parents.

And I used to always say that, you know,

I wish my children will never be orphans.

But like you see when a lot of us, when we left school,

we turned to alcohol, and there was a point in my life it became

a real bad problem for me.

I was gonna kill myself.

And I went up in the hills, and I had my rifle,

and my two oldest kids followed me.

[♪♪♪]

I was just gonna pull the trigger,

just like this voice spoke to me and told me what are you doing?

You're doing what you said you'd never do,

and I realized that if I killed myself,

my children would be orphans.

I said I'd never think of doing that again 'cause I love

my children so much that I didn't want them to go through

what I went through being an orphan.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Mr. Speaker, I stand beforeyou today to offer an apology

to former students of IndianResidential schools.

The treatment of children inIndian Residential schools

is a sad chapter in our history.

Two primary objectives of the Residential school system

were to remove and isolate children from the influence

of their home, families, traditions and cultures,

and to assimilate them into the dominant culture.

These objectives were based on the assumption that aboriginal

cultures and spiritual beliefs were inferior and unequal.

Indeed some saw it, as was infamously said,

to kill the Indian in the child.

[♪♪♪]

When I hear people that firmly believe that nothing happened

in the schools, well, I can tell my story,

and I can tell them this is what happened.

The anger is gone.

There's just, I guess, sadness and that of what,

of what happened, and hopefully it never happens again.

We now recognize that it was wrong to separate children

from rich and vibrant cultures and traditions,

that it created a void in many lives and communities,

and we apologize for having done this.

We now recognize that in separating children from their

families, we undermine the ability of many to adequately

parent their own children,

and sow the seeds for generations to follow.

The Government of Canada sincerely apologizes and asks

the forgiveness of the aboriginal peoples

of this country for failing them so profoundly.

[♪♪♪]

I believe that they were trying to annihilate us,

and they couldn't because what they did to us,

and everything that we've had to live through,

only made us stronger, made us more determined.

There's another carrot.

[♪♪♪]

Here, you want another one, Caitlin?

Here you go.

The other way, babe.

Here's another carrot.

[♪♪♪]

We're okay.

[♪♪♪]

What happened there, it didn't have to happen,

but also don't keep it a secret, don't hide it,

for the people to know that things like that happen,

they didn't have to happen.

[♪♪♪]

And at least I got to talk about it.

It took a long time, but finally able to speak.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]