All language subtitles for RuPauls.Drag.Race.S05E10.WEBRip.Netflix.en[cc]

- Previously,

on RuPaul's Drag Race...

you'll be starring in two soaps.

Telenovela style.

- Son of a bitch.

It's another acting challenge.

- I have to reform Relaskatox.

- I don't want the judges to

see me relying on a clique.

- Chimichanga!

- [gasps] Oh!

Ay! Ay! Si! Si! Si!

Oy! Oy!

- Alyssa, you need to at least

match what Jinkx is doing.

- That dress is the worst dress

I've ever seen in five seasons.

- When you go to the clubs,

you don't ask the girls,

"Did you sew that,

did you make that?"

I am an entertainer.

- Alyssa,

that's not what this is about.

- Jinkx Monsoon, you're the

winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

Coco Montrese,

shante, you stay.

Alyssa Edwards, sashay away.

- Girl...

- Agh!

Going into the workroom,

it really was a sweet moment

to see Alyssa leave the stage.

- "The sky is the limit

when your heart's in it."

- How do you feel?

- I feel free.

I feel a weight

lifted off of me.

- Are you making another

fat joke about her?

- Oh! Miss Jinkx!

- I'm happy that this book

is closed.

- Coco believes

that this has closed

a big chapter in her life.

So the hope now

is that she doesn't take

all of that Alyssa aggression

and put it on one of us.

- Now it's time to be

America's next drag superstar.

Thank you, girls.

all: Ooh...

- Jinkx, you bitch.

You're the first one

to win two challenges.

- It was such a toss-up

between you and 'Laska.

- Jinkx is my biggest

competition.

She's really funny,

and so am I, so...

[clicks tongue]

- And Roxxxy was in the top

three too.

- We're trying to get Jinkx

out of here.

She's a big threat, and I don't

know where I got to get you,

but I got to find

somewhere that you lack.

- RuPaul, can we please sew

something for next week?

- No sewing, Ru!

- So I can win a damn challenge!

- Let's just hope

I have enough fabric

to braid myself another dress.

[laughs]

- I'm sorry, my dear.

Your sewing looks like shit.

- I just feel like

there are people

who are just waiting for me

to screw up big-time.

- Your sewing looks like

Coco's performance.

Shit.

- It's turned quickly from

Sisterhood

of the Traveling Pants

to "Sisterhood of I'm going

to kill you so I can win."

- The winner

of RuPaul's Drag Race

receives a sickening supply

of Colorevolution cosmetics,

a luxury trip,

courtesy of alandchuck.travel,

headline Logo's Drag Race tour,

featuring Absolut vodka,

cocktails perfected,

and a cash prize of $100,000.

And tonight,

extra-special guest judges

Clinton Kelly

and George Kotsiopoulos.

- * The top five *

* The top five *

- * Top five, top five *

- Cinco, cinco, cinco.

We're back in the workroom,

it's a new week,

and I am terrified

of messing up now.

[siren blares]

- Ooh, girl!

You've got shemail!

Sometimes a drag queen's gotta

do what a drag queen's gotta do,

whether it's laying a foundation

or painting the house down.

You've got to spackle,

Neely, spackle!

- [laughs]

- Remember the golden shower

rule:

Do unto others

as you would have them

do unto Ru.

- Oh...

- What?

- Hello, hello, hello.

all: Hi, Ru.

- Now, to keep you

in fighting shape,

for today's mini challenge,

you're going to go to...

drag booty camp.

- Oh...

- [chuckles]

- So put on your workout gear,

including heels by Le Dame

and boobs from

The Breast Form Store.

Go!

- Ooh.

- Le Dame.

- This must be

what my mom feels like.

Yeah, yeah.

- Ladies, meet your

personal trainer.

From Barry's Bootcamp, Storm.

- Mash.

- Now, the one queen

that outlasts the others...

wins.

- Ooh.

- Let's get it up, come on.

I don't know,

but I've been told.

all: I don't know,

but I've been told.

- Drag queen shade

is mighty cold.

all: Drag queen shade

is mighty cold.

- Pump it, girls.

Pump it, ladies.

Keep that energy up.

Jinkx, you took off your heels.

- They fell off!

- Come on, you call yourself

a drag queen?

- Here we go, ladies.

- Pull up.

Come on, count it off.

- I don't like working out

around other people.

I get ugly when I work out.

- Get up, get up, get up!

- [grunting]

- Detox, you're out.

Keep crunching, come on.

Coco, you're out.

Keep it going.

Roxxxy, you're out.

Up!

It's just between

Jinkx and Alaska.

Come on, now.

- Finally, my opportunity

to push Jinkx

down the proverbial stairs.

- Who's gonna be the last queen

crunching?

- Oh, Jinkx is out.

Alaska wins.

[clapping]

- Whoo-hoo!

Let's do some more!

- Alaska, condragulations.

- Thank you.

- Bye, ladies.

I'll see you at the gym.

- See ya there.

Not really.

- Now, you ladies have bravely

soldiered

through challenge

after challenge.

Now it's time to give back

to those who have

sacrificed so much

to serve this great nation.

Oh, boys!

- [gasps]

- God bless America.

- These gentlemen,

who also happen to be gay,

served our country

before the repeal

of "Don't ask, don't tell."

Thanks to these men,

we have the freedom

to be fierce.

And now, you get to exercise

that freedom

by enlisting these men

into your drag house.

- Oh, shit.

I'm nervous, 'cause I've never

done anyone else's makeup.

- Now, Alaska,

you won the mini challenge,

so you get to pair

the queens with their vets.

- Well, everything happens

for a reason...

- Uh-huh.

- And these men came in

in this order for a reason.

So I want to go straight down

the line, so...Izzy, is it?

- Yes.

- You are going to be

with Roxxxy Andrews.

- Alaska tells RuPaul,

"Everything happens

for a reason."

I think it was sabotage.

I thought we were closer

than this.

It pissed me off.

- Dave, you're going

to be with Jinkx Monsoon.

- Hi, Dave.

- You'll have so much fun

with Jinkx.

Jinkx is my biggest

competition right now,

so maybe it would be an

impediment having an older man.

Steve, you're going

to be with Coco.

- So big and strong.

- Aaron, you're going

to be with lady Detox.

- You're beautiful.

- Thank you.

- And, Alaska,

that means you have Mack.

- I think pairing myself

with the tall, pretty one

is probably

a really good strategy.

- Now, ladies,

we're gonna be looking

for a strong family resemblance.

A true expression of your drag.

Attention!

Gentlemen, start your engines.

And may the best woman...

win!

- So you've never,

ever been in drag before?

- No, I have not.

- Okay.

[laughs]

Who are some of your

diva inspirations?

- Uh...

Judy Garland.

- I can see us doing a Judy/Liza

kind of thing together.

- I knew Judy, by the way.

- You did?

- Yes.

- You knew Judy Garland?

What was she like?

- She was actually really nice.

- That's amazing.

I feel like the luckiest drag

queen in this room right now,

'cause I know these young guys

don't have stories like that.

And look, Detox

is more concerned

about sleeping with her, um...

- I can tell.

- Ha!

- Even though I got paired up

with the oldest vet,

I get to work

with one of the sweetest,

coolest people in the room.

- We have to give you body.

- Okay.

- Stand up for me.

- You can't tell in these pants,

but I have a big butt.

- Do you have a big butt?

That's perfect,

'cause I have a huge ass.

Oh, it is a nice butt.

We're still gonna

make it bigger.

- I got a really hot guy.

Like, ah, Jesus.

He's really sweet, and a total

sissy, and I really like that.

I just want all you bitches

to pay attention really quick.

And let Aaron show you

how it's fucking done.

- Oh, my God,

she's done this before.

- I love it!

- I'm not happy at all.

Izzy is shorter

and he's hairy.

I'm pissed.

- Coming up...

Can we see a little bit

of her walk?

- Yeah.

- Ooh...whoa, whoa.

- I got...I got it.

- Really?

- I think I might have killed

Judy Garland.

- [laughs]

[laughs]

- Today, we have to make over

our gay vet.

Have you ever worn Leg Avenue?

- [laughs]

No.

- And we have to do a complete

family resemblance runway look.

Is that the Michael Levine

fabric?

Oh, my God,

we're gonna be gorgeous.

[chuckles]

- Give me a little runway.

Oh, fuck.

- Oh, my God, hold on.

I got to see this.

You look like Jennifer Lopez

as Jesus.

[laughs]

- I got another thing comin'

for y'all.

I have a fuel under my ass.

He's going to be

drop-dead gorgeous.

- Get naked.

Let's try this on you.

I'm having a difficult time

working with my partner

because he's fucking beautiful.

[whistles]

So do you have a boyfriend

or anything?

- No.

- Thank you, gay God.

I just got lady wood

for you walking.

- If Detox doesn't

win this challenge,

she'll have no one

to blame but herself.

Here, put on these.

- Okay.

You got to understand

that bending over

can be a trip sometimes.

I have a medical condition.

In fact, I fell down

the other day.

- Dave's kind of top-heavy,

and it makes it very hard

for him to walk around.

Hold my hand.

Focus on walking on your toes

a little bit more.

It's a distinct possibility

I'm going to be

in the bottom two tomorrow.

Okay.

- Ooh...whoa, whoa.

- I got...I got it.

- You okay?

This big, buff man

in camouflage pants

and a pair of heels...

I never thought I'd be putting

a man's breasts on.

- [laughs]

- Oh, God, Steve,

we've got to pull this off.

'cause if I'm in the bottom two,

this may be my last supper.

- You haven't?

- Uh-uh.

- Well, how'd you

get yours, then?

- My friend made them for me.

- Oh.

- I've seen

a YouTube video of it.

All I have is a pair of scissors

and this really hard foam,

and so I'm just hoping

they'll look passable.

What inspired you to, like,

get into the military?

- I grew up in foster care,

and my 18th birthday,

my foster mom was like,

"You have to find a place

to live.

I'll give you a week."

and so I joined the military,

and I got out of it structure,

discipline...

- Wow.

- And now I'm ready

to be out on my own.

- It shows a great

amount of wisdom.

He said, "My life needs order

that I never got."

It's very admirable.

All right, now remember,

you're a woman, not a man.

Walk softly.

Mack is walking

like a Mack truck driver.

Ladies take soft steps.

Any advantage I thought I had

because of Mack's appearance

completely vanishes

because of the way

that he is holding himself.

- Hello, hello, hello.

all: Hi, Ru.

- Oh, dear, I see

lots of titties up in here.

Hello, Jinkx and Dave.

- Hello.

- Hi, Ru.

- How's it going over here?

- He and I decided we're going

to do a Judy and Liza tribute.

- Oh, my goodness.

- And I've got the backstory.

- Tell me about that.

- I think I might have killed

Judy Garland.

[record needle scratch effect]

We were talking

one night at dinner,

and she asked me

about the new sleeping pills

that were out.

I told her about a new one,

and she died of an overdose.

- Dave has got Ru speechless.

How do you respond to, "I think

I killed Judy Garland"?

He's a monsoon, all right.

- Well, you know, Dave, she

worked real hard to get there.

All right, listen,

you kids get back to work,

and I can't wait to see ya.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

- All right.

House of Alaska.

Mack has big, old titties,

no makeup,

and your skin is perfect.

- Oh, you haven't seen

my walk yet.

- Well, right, uh...

- Can we see a little bit of it?

- It's a work in progress.

It's hard breaking

the man out of Mack.

- Really?

The Armed Services

pushed it inside of you.

I...that came out wrong.

- [laughs]

- You have a lot of work to do.

You better sissy

that walk, Mack.

- You got it, Ru.

- I'll see you guys later.

Detox and Aaron.

Oh, my goodness,

you are working on it already.

- Hi, Ru.

She's my little baby doll.

The first thing

out of her mouth was,

"I need to put shoes on now,"

and she's been sissying

that walk up and down

this entire workroom.

- Good, good.

- [laughs]

- So, Aaron,

Don't Ask Don't Tell...

how has that

affected your life?

- I've served before and after.

And serving before,

it was tough, because I was,

you know, 22 and living

in the Castro,

and, like, gay, gay, gay.

- Yeah.

- And it was such culture shock

coming back in the closet.

- What's it like now?

- It takes

a little weight off you.

- Mm-hmm.

- And it's nice to be able to,

without fear of repercussion,

just really be that person.

- I'm so happy that

you are here with us,

and that you are out and proud,

and I cannot wait to see you.

- Me too.

- Thank you, Ru.

- See ya.

- Bye.

- The house of Montrese.

- Hi, Ru.

- Now, you've got some

wide hips, there.

Have you done drag before?

- No, never, Ru.

- Never.

- I feel, like,

how do they do that?

I mean, you guys got balls,

seriously.

- Oh, yeah, we do have balls.

- [laughs]

- Steve, now what made you

join the military?

- I always had an issue with

my...with being homosexual.

It was a way for me

to become straight.

I thought I would go in there,

they'll buff you up,

and yell at you.

- When you hear that,

you think about the other guys

that did it too.

Why can't people just let people

be who they are?

- I was young, I was stupid...

- Yeah.

- The Marines did teach me,

you know, how to be a man,

and how to not take things

so seriously.

- A lot like drag.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Now, let me tell ya,

Coco needs your help.

She was in the bottom two

last week.

- Ya gotta bring that up, Ru?

Really?

- She's counting on you

to be a fierce queen.

- [laughs]

- All right, kids,

get back to it.

I will see you

on the main stage.

- Bye, Ru.

- Roxxxy and Izzy...now, Izzy,

have you ever done drag before?

- Never.

- Have you ever worn heels

before?

- Never.

- So are you gonna show a little

of the...[clicks tongue]

You know, 'cause that's what

the Andrews are famous for.

Do you have any peanut butter?

- No.

- [sighs]

- What's the biggest challenge,

in this challenge, for you?

- I want to make sure that

whatever I'm making her,

that she is gonna feel

comfortable 100%.

- Well, I'll let you

get back to it, okay?

- Okay.

By no way, shape, or form do I

think I'm done and feeling good.

- All right,

gather round, everybody!

Now, tomorrow on the main stage,

we'll be joined by our

extra-special guest judges,

two men who know

a lot about makeovers.

From What Not To Wear,

Clinton Kelly will be here.

[cheers and applause]

And from The Fashion Police,

George Kotsiopoulos.

[cheers and applause]

Oh, and one more little thing.

In addition to

walking the runway,

each team needs to come up with

a patriotic

color guard presentation.

So raise your flag high

and don't fuck it up.

Coming up...

- Mack is extremely manly.

- Oh!

We don't know what the fuck

we're doing.

- [laughs]

[laughs]

- How do you feel at it?

- I feel alive.

- Our main challenge today

is to make gay veterans

into part of our drag family,

and to come up with a color

guard routine

to present on the runway.

Hmm, hmm, three...

- Oh, fuck.

- We don't know

what the fuck we're doing.

We haven't really

planned anything,

we're kind of making it up

as we go.

Oh!

[laughs]

Closer.

[sighs]

Do you have any ideas?

- Turn, turn, turn.

And turn around.

- Turn around.

- Don't fall, don't fall.

- I won't fall, I'm good.

- Those shoes

are killing you, huh?

Steve is determined to do

his rehearsal in these heels,

but the aches and pains

are all over his face.

Ah!

- Shut up.

- I think as much as Steve

wants to be prepared

for what it takes

to be in these heels...

Take 'em off.

Yeah, just take 'em off.

I don't think

he was ready for this.

- Oh, uh-uh.

- No?

- Oh, no, baby.

I'm gonna fall off of these.

- Are they too high?

- Yeah.

- I don't want you

to hurt yourself.

- I mean, I do have

a medical condition, you know?

- What's that?

- I will be honest with you.

And, uh, I took a medicine, and

it caused me to look like this.

It also wasted the muscles

in my legs.

I just can't hold myself up.

- Okay. We're gonna

find a way to work with it.

- Okay.

- I mean, there's a million

and one things

we can do to overcome this.

And we're a team.

You're not in this alone.

- I'll be right back.

- [whimpers]

Dave is surviving with HIV,

and his body went through

a massive transformation,

and it makes it very hard

for him to walk around,

let alone walk in heels,

but Dave's heart is so in it

that he wants

to give it his all.

We're gonna work with it,

not against you.

- Pop that foam, girl.

Pop that foam.

Hey, how you doin'?

[laughter]

I love it.

And...

Can we do that together, though?

- I'm just scared.

I'm scared, I'm scared,

I'm scared.

- All right.

I don't know what color guard

or flag twirling is.

So let's start

from sword fighting.

- And then like that,

and then what if I took

this one away

and then touched yours?

And then, you pull it back.

You're, like... [groans]

[laughs]

Like you just touched my dick,

or my sword fantasy,

whatever you call it.

- Well.

We're figuring it out

a lot on the fly.

[mimics marching music]

Um...

and then what?

- Dave is using the flag

as a cane,

both for comedic

and practical reasons,

but I choreographed our piece

to be well within

his capability.

Come on, Mama!

Come on!

And give the Judy Garland

a little swagger.

I have been trying to pull away

from camp and schtick

in this competition,

but I would rather him be safe

than try to lay all this

complicated choreography on him.

It's me and my mama!

- [laughs]

- Do one around.

- Uhh!

- Mama,

your skirt's falling down!

- I know.

- Oh, Mama!

Tomorrow, I wanna win

for Dave's sake.

- It is time to become women.

- Let's do this.

- Ready or not, here comes Mama!

- Today's elimination day.

I have a bunch of things

to do with Izzy.

We have to get him shaven.

It's time to get some clippers

and get this hair off of him.

[razor vibrates]

Blah! Uhh!

I hate body hair.

- [laughs]

- Fish, dude.

Let's get this chest.

Izzy turned out to be an angel.

He knows that whatever

he has to do to help us win,

he's gonna do it.

He's definitely being a trooper,

no pun intended.

[laughter]

[spits]

You're the only hairy one here?

That's okay 'cause guess what?

We can get rid of hair.

They can't get rid

of those faces.

- Exactly.

- All makeup, no talent.

- "All makeup, no talent"?

Is that what you're saying,

Coco?

Coco and Steve are throwing

a lot of shade,

but let's see when

the faces come out,

'Cause Coco don't know

how to paint faces.

- She's making you a black girl.

- I am not!

- You are, girl!

- All that makeup on his face!

- [laughs]

- Get the fuck away from me,

Detox.

Shit.

I don't paint

other people's face.

That's not something

you can learn overnight,

and I got a few hours.

- Horchata looks like a cross

between one of the Jackson 5s

and a member from Cats.

- Oh, shit.

I look scary.

- Am I doing this right?

You know I don't know

how to glue down brows.

Sweetie, we're in a competition.

I can't help you

or your manly man.

- But look how pretty he is.

- Tell me what happened

when you were discovered

to be a homosexual

in the service.

- The house that I had

in Washington, D.C.,

we had four of us,

two Marines and two sailors.

We decided we wanted to go

to our favorite gay bar

in full uniform, what we called

"high drag" in those days.

There was a spy.

It got back to the base,

and all four of us

were put on notice that

we were going to be discharged

for being gay.

- He's been through everything

that you could guess

a 67-year-old gay veteran

could have possibly

been through.

- One of the boys ended up

being court-martialed

because, in those days,

it was illegal to be gay,

and he ended up in Leavenworth

ward for a year.

- It's so important

to learn about the struggles

that people like Dave have been

through to get us the rights

that we take for granted.

- So that car accident

that you were in...

- Mm-hmm.

- What happened there?

- I was leaving a gig,

and apparently,

there was this guy who got

kicked out of the bar.

He left his car parked

in the middle of the freeway

with no lights on

and was sleeping in his car.

We just ran into him

going 80 or 90 miles an hour.

My face kind of ricocheted

off the windshield,

and I lost, like,

this part of my forehead.

I severed the main artery

in my head, and...

- Oh, my God.

- Like, almost bled out

in a matter of minutes.

- Jesus Christ.

Did that change anything

about you?

- I didn't leave the house

for, like, two months

because I just felt like

such a Frankenstein.

After the accident,

it was pretty traumatizing

because I was in the hospital

for so long,

and I was really weak.

I was so depressed.

I would go visit drag shows,

and they really kinda

pulled me out of that,

and, were, like,

"Just get back into it, girl.

You look fine, you'll be good."

Getting back into doing drag and

throwing myself into my work

really helped me,

but I still can't

grow eyebrows on this side.

Luckily, I can paint them on.

[snickers]

I just pull it down

and then take the rest

of your weed whacker

and pull it all the way back.

- That's not gonna hurt?

- No, just try it.

- [laughs]

- Now, what do you tape it to?

- You pull the tape

up to your butt.

[tape ripping]

It's time for Steve to tuck,

and this is a process.

A very long process.

How the fuck do you do this?

The bucket's slipping out.

- Do I have to come back there

and put it up for you?

'Cause I will.

- Oh, looks like camel toe.

- Camel toe is in this season.

[chuckling]

- [whistles]

Can't walk in it.

- Coming up...

- You were making

major missteps.

- And that was not glamorous.

It was not elegant.

It was not chic.

- Just show us a smile

from time to time.

- [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

all: * Cover girl *

* Put the bass in your walk *

* Head to toe *

* Let your whole body talk *

* And what? *

- Welcome to the main stage

of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Michelle Visage,

for those about

to frock, we salute you.

- Ahoy!

- The great Santino.

- You look gorgeous, Ru.

- Thank you.

From What Not To Wear,

Clinton Kelly!

Guess what I'm not wearing.

[laughter]

Makeup.

[laughter]

It's true.

- Au naturel, I love it.

- And, from The Fashion Police,

George Katsiopoulos.

Now, are you excited to be here?

- This is more exciting

than the Academy Awards.

Are you kidding me?

- [laughs]

- I love this show!

- So happy to have you here.

This week, we challenged our

queens to earn their stripes

by transforming gay veterans

into members

of their drag family.

Gentlemen, start your engines

and may the best woman win.

- Immediately, I drop a flag.

Bam!

Fuck.

- Our flag routine is fun,

goofy, and weird, just like me.

- Horchata is turning it out.

She's smiling.

She's buckin'.

She's doing her thing.

- Every time I looked over

at Isabella,

she was doing exactly

what she needed to do.

Could not have gone any better.

I think we might

pull through tonight.

- Commence shakedown.

- Ladies, forward march.

From the house of Monsoon,

Jinkx and Fortuna.

- Judy looks more like Liza

these days.

- Yes!

- We are serving mama

and gypsy realness.

I think we really hit the nail

on the head with this one.

Meet me in the middle

and give 'em a little hip!

Here we go, and, oh!

You got it!

[laughter]

Now, that's enter-taint-ment.

The house of Andrews,

Roxxxy and Isabella.

- That's the Andrews sisters.

- Uh-huh.

- Bam!

- The look on Izzy's face...

she is feeling it.

She is loving it.

Yeah, bitches, get into it.

- The missing Kardashian

sisters.

- Big booties

must run in the family.

- Yeah.

- The house of Alaska

featuring

Alaska and Nebraska,

cat burglars.

- Okay, that's more

like Miss Nebraska

'cause she is a beauty queen.

- Yes.

- We're feeling good.

We're skipping down the runway.

I'm very proud

of little Nebraska.

- I didn't know Patty Hearst

had daughters.

- Uh-huh.

[laughter]

- The house of Detox:

Detox and Bethadone,

hunting for red October.

- Bethadone and I are stomping

it out and being playful,

and you can just tell that

he's living for himself,

which is the purpose

of this whole challenge.

- America the booty-ful.

Lucky for these girls,

it's fleet week.

The house of Montrese!

Coco and Horchata Montrese.

Mm, I'm thirsty.

- Horchata's giving you nothing

but pure showgirl,

and I'm giving you

nothing but red carpet,

Montrese-style.

- Red sky at night,

sailor's delight.

- Is that your boa, or are you

just ready to flock me?

- [laughs]

Coming up...

- The boots are just

unforgivable.

I hate them.

- Those pads, it looks like

there's hams in there.

- You seem very upset.

- It was a shit show.

- [laughs]

Welcome, ladies!

First up, the house of Monsoon,

Jinkx and Fortuna.

Dave, let's take a look

at your before.

And look at you now.

- As complicated

as your choreography was,

you were both in sync

with one another,

and it wasn't overly complicated

where you were dropping things

or making major missteps.

- You did have

a very difficult task

dressing someone in their 60s,

and I actually wouldn't change

anything about the styling.

I think you guys look

incredible.

- Well, Dave, I'm honored

to have you here,

especially since you're one of

the queens from back in the day.

- I thought you were gonna say

"The oldest."

- [laughs]

- That would be Michelle.

[laughter]

- Up next:

The house of Andrews,

Roxxxy and Isabella.

Now, this is Izzy before,

and this is Isabella.

So how do you feel, Izzy?

- I feel like I could give

Santino a mustache ride.

- [shouts]

- Come on with it!

- One thing about

the house of Andrews:

We're hos, miss thang, and this

one came right into it.

- You are absolutely gorgeous.

I love that you did

the traditional Andrews ass,

and you really look like

family members.

- Wow.

- You were in perfect unison

for most of the routine,

which was really fun,

and, Isabella,

that booty shake was seriously

grade A.

I mean,

I could not get over that.

- Next up,

from the house of Alaska,

Alaska, the 49th state,

and Nebraska, the 37th state.

- Ohh.

- Mack, let's take a look

at your before picture,

and let's take

a look at you now.

Ooh, ooh!

Nebraska, tell me about

the challenge.

What was the hardest part?

- I was a little bit

uncomfortable at the beginning,

and as soon as she

brought out the weapons

and I was in the gear,

I was ready for battle.

- Stop using sex

as a weapon, Nebraska.

- [laughs]

- Well, didn't you get

the pretty pearl?

I mean, Nebraska came out,

and I was, like, "Whoa!"

The flag routine

didn't really come off

the way you wanted it to.

I think there were things

out of sync

and falling apart

here and there.

- Those hip pads, I mean,

it looks like there's

hams in there.

- You had, like,

the perfect model to work with,

and it just makes me sad

to see lumpy padding,

and the boots

are just unforgivable.

I just hate...I hate them.

- All right.

Next up: The house of Detox,

Detox and Bethadone.

- Hello.

- This is Aaron before,

and look at you now.

So, Bethadone, what was tougher:

Basic training

or getting up into drag?

- I'm definitely gonna

have to say basic training...

[laughter]

But this definitely wasn't easy.

- I'm interested in why Detox

put that bow in the front

after we read Roxxxy

down for that.

- Oh, 'cause I don't

pay attention to Roxy.

[laughter]

- But you should

pay attention to critiques.

- That performance,

you dropped the flag.

They got twisted up.

God, it was just...

- It was a shit show.

- Bethadone looked like

she was having a lot of fun.

She was really smiling,

and you didn't seem to be

having as much fun.

Just show us a smile

from time to time.

- All right, next up:

The house of Montrese,

Coco and Horchata.

Now, this is Steve before,

and look at you now.

Steve, what was the hardest part

of it for you?

- The heels and the makeup.

- Good, then, it's working.

- [chuckles]

- You guys really went

for, like, the Olympics here

with your flag routines.

It's not necessary.

- I can tell

that you've never done

someone else's hair and makeup.

There's subtle blending

and highlighting

that you didn't do.

- And the irregular hem makes

it seem like you made a gown

for yourself and you gave

your sister the scraps

that were kind of left over.

- You seem very upset.

- It seems like every week,

I'm letting you down,

letting you down,

letting you down.

- Listen, it's part of the game

of being criticized by judges.

I've been in front of any kind

of critic you can imagine.

Have fun with it.

As an entertainer, you know

that if you're not having fun,

the audience doesn't have fun.

You just gotta remember that.

I'm so proud that we got

to share this with these fellas

from the military

and showing them

what they were fighting for.

They don't tell them that

when they enroll,

that you're fighting for our

freedom to dress up in drags.

This is a fabulous country!

And I'm so proud, right now,

to be an American citizen.

All right, a little ki-ki

on the stage.

- Ohh!

- Thank you, ladies,

and thank you, veterans.

Now, while you untuck in

the Interior Illusions Lounge,

the judges and I

will deliberate.

All right, now, just between us

civilians, what do you think?

Jinkx Monsoon and Fortuna.

- When she and Fortuna came out

with their flag routine,

I thought, "Jinkx is going

to be in the bottom,"

but I have to tell you,

she made up for it and then some

with her mother-daughter Gypsy

Rose Lee and Mama routine.

- My only criticism would be

that Dave is 67,

but Fortuna looks

a little bit older than that.

- The house of Andrews,

Roxxxy and Isabella.

- It wasn't too complicated,

but what they did do,

it was well practiced,

well rehearsed.

Roxy did a bang-up job.

- Well, I love the Mini-Me vibe

that they were giving out,

and oh, my God,

they should just win

on that padding alone

because I didn't even know

it was padding.

It was amazing.

- What did you think of house

of Alaska and Nebraska?

- I think Alaska

needs to work on her craft.

That transformation

was really weak

compared to

what she had to work with.

- I was not as compelled

by Alaska

as I was by Nebraska,

and I think that's a problem.

- Moving on to the house

of Detox and Bethadone.

- The complicated flag twirling

was a mess, seriously.

- They look like deranged

Raggedy Ann dolls,

and I'm just questioning

whether or not

there's a taste level there.

- Coco and Horchata Montrese.

- Poor Horchata.

I mean, poor, poor Horchata.

- That was not glamorous.

It was not elegant.

It was not chic.

You know, I'm thinking Coco

might need to go

back to beauty school.

- The flag show was a disaster,

and she would never

let herself go out

with a busted-up face like that.

- Never, ever.

- No?

- Please.

- It was like Frida Kahlo.

It was a giant eyebrow

walking down the stage.

- Silence!

I've made my decision.

Bring back the girls.

[laughs]

Welcome back, ladies.

I've made some decisions.

Jinkx Monsoon, your Liza

and Judy-inspired drag

took us over the rainbow.

You're safe.

- Thank you.

- I'm safe.

- Roxxxy Andrews, you set out

to turn a salty seaman

into your sexy sister.

Mission accomplished.

Condragulations, you are the

winner of this week's challenge.

[applause]

- Girl, you won!

- You and your drag sister have

each won a shopping spree

at American Apparel.

Izzy can decide

if he wants to shop

in the men's

or the women's department.

- Female.

- Gah!

This is my second win.

Finally.

- Coco Montrese.

Tonight, you didn't give us

what we were thirsty for.

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

- Oy.

- Oy.

- [speaks Spanish]

- For the fourth time,

doesn't look too good.

- Alaska, your cross-country

crime spree

didn't steal the show.

Detox, your Marine makeover

hit a snafu.

I'm sorry, my dear,

but you are up for elimination.

Alaska, you may join

the other girls.

- Thank you.

- Two queens stand before me.

Prior to tonight,

you were asked to prepare

a lip-synch performance

of (it takes) Two

by Seduction featuring

Michelle Visage.

Ladies, this is your

last chance to impress me

and save yourself

from elimination.

The time has come

for you to lip-synch

for your life.

- On a scale of one to ten,

my lip-synching

is probably a 25.

- Ready, set, go.

Let's do this.

- Good luck,

and don't fuck it up.

- * Yeah, yeah, yeah, *

* It takes two to make *

* A thing go right *

* It takes two *

* To make it out of sight *

* Hey, hey *

* From the start *

* It's plain to see *

- I'm giving it my all.

This is Michelle Visage's song,

and I'm gon' wear it out

just for her.

- * You know that *

* It's a shame *

* But I am here *

* To ease your pain *

* Because I know, together *

* We can really turn *

* This mother out *

* Whoo-hoo *

* Don't you know that *

* It takes two *

* To make a thing go right *

* It takes two *

* To make it out of sight *

* Hey, hey, hey *

- I pull out all these

old-school dance moves,

and I'm just sitting there

whopping it out

and doing the cabbage patch

and having a good time.

- * It takes two to make *

* A thing go right *

* It takes two *

* Ah, yeah *

* It takes two *

* It takes two *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah *

* It takes two, it takes two *

* Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh *

* It takes two *

* Me and you *

* It takes two to make it *

* Out of sight *

* My baby, baby, baby, baby *

* My baby, baby *

- Yes!

[cheers and applause]

- Ladies, I've made my decision.

Detox, shante, you stay.

You may join the other girls.

- I'm sorry.

- Coco Montrese,

I want you to hear this.

You never let me down,

and I am cuckoo for Coco.

Now sashay away.

- [crying]

Thank you.

[whispers]

Thank you.

- Thank you.

[indistinct chatter]

- This is one of the most

amazing experiences of my life.

I did my best.

I think Alyssa and I can put

the past behind us.

I gained a lot of closure, which

I probably would have never got

if it wasn't for RuPaul,

so I'm very happy.

- My fab four.

Condragulations.

Victory is yours!

Now, remember,

if you can't love yourself,

how in the hell

you gonna love somebody else?

Can I get an amen in here?

all: Amen.

- All right,

now let the music play.