Original subtitles

If you lined up whoever left out here with me, I know I can persevere longer.

Boom. Got one. I was worried I wasn't going to be catching any more fish.

Thank you.

I got him. Oh, boy.

Look at that guy. Now I'm in the groove.

It's an age-old tradition to go out into the wilderness until you've received

what you need to receive.

But we're just getting started.

I really would like to know what makes that noise.

Whoa.

So you guys want to see something super delicious I have cooking?

I mean, this is it, you know. This is the pinnacle of all

deliciousness.

Sock soup.

Mmm. Good old wool socks with a little usnea and cypress.

That is like...

Okay, well, it might not be delicious chocolate cake or something, but at

least we're going to have clean socks.

And you know, at times, this journey has been so smooth.

Survival, no problem.

Being alone, no problem.

But this is the first time I've been worried about really anything out here.

So I have three spider bites on my bum bum.

And they are mildly infected.

Yeah, not looking too good.

I had a moment of being like, what happens if I get put on because I have

an infected spider bite?

That would be like nightmare.

I just have to really find a way to take care of it.

I've been keeping my eyes out for plantain, which is a medicinal herb that

grows pretty wild, kind of like dandelions. You know, it's kind of a

backyard medicine.

And I haven't seen any this whole time I've been here.

Check it out!

Today, of all days, when I have my spider bites that are infected and need

to be cleaned, I found some plantain. Da-da-da.

Super stoked.

We're going to make a poultice out of the usnea and the plantain here.

Poultice is where you mash up the herbs and stick it right on there.

So I'm just going to crush it up.

What I'm looking to do is kind of create a paste that can then be smeared on

to the wound.

Now I'm going to add a little usne.

That is beautiful.

And so what we'll do is after we clean our spider bite, I'm going to put this

onto a piece of gauze pad from my first aid kit.

And then tape it up and check on it in the morning.

You know, there's not medics or producers coming and giving us food and

treating our wounds. Not even close.

We really are like on our own out here.

I wonder if I'd fare near as well doing this alone thing.

If I didn't have a camera to talk to.

It's certainly fun.

I've been enjoying it. I think I want to ask him, how much is one of these

cameras?

I'm just going to set it there.

Never actually going to take footage.

Just going to set it there and start talking to it.

You're my Wilson, baby. You're my Wilson.

This morning, the first thing I'm going to do is see if I got a fish.

Fishing's been fairly good, so I've been concentrating my energy on that lately.

Oh, yep.

There it goes.

Come on, bud.

Come on.

Come on.

Here we go.

Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on.

Don't you dare.

Yes! Ha!

Oh, don't you dare go anywhere.

It's okay. It's okay. Well, it's not okay for you, but thank you very much.

Thank you.

Thank you.

The $500,000 does mean something.

But when I came out here, one of the hopes was I wanted to go through my own

personal evolution.

Spiritually, physically, psychologically, socially, all of it.

And so far it's been above and beyond.

That's a he.

Ooh, whatever these are.

Might be sperm sacks for all I care.

I eat those right away, at least one of them.

Tastes great.

I don't know when every meal is going to come for the next month or two.

So today I'm going to start making a drying rack.

For fish, for winter.

I figure I can have some bamboo pieces up here and then cut across as a

drying rack because I always have the fire right here.

I've got two upright pieces.

And then we'll need pieces that go across.

All right.

So I'm going to fillet this fish.

I don't want hunger to have power over me. I want to be out here for a long

time and to do that I need food.

And so I find myself thinking ahead a lot and have a

plan.

That's a nice one.

I fillet them out, dry them.

If I could eat one fillet every three days and I stored the rest of the

fish, I feel like I can do what's got to be done to make six months here.

Probably beat this log apart with my axe and get quite a few chunks off it.

It takes a lot of work to get firewood around here.

So far I've been really lucky with the fishing, so I'm not complaining about

that.

I have my tea, my berries.

I'm doing okay.

But...

It doesn't take much to make me tired in a day, and firewood's what's...

Collecting firewood is what's really taking my energy away.

You know, it just goes so fast.

I like big fires at night. They give lots of light, lots of warmth, but it's

wearing me out to have to go 300 yards to get firewood.

See Greg walk.

See Greg get firewood See Greg

return with firewood See Greg need a chiropractor soon

I'm just subjected to the elements 24 hours a day day after

day.

I Can't stay warm I've used up all the suitable firewood I can find

And I'm too tired and too worn out and don't have enough energy to be packing

wood from down the bank.

So I've decided tomorrow, if it's nice, it's time to pack up and

move to a different camp.

With as little food as I usually get by on, I'm kind of impressed that I can

make 10 trips with heavy firewood like I have been.

It's obviously the plants and the fish that I do get that's keeping me going.

I may as well get another look at my bobber in case we have something on

there.

Oh, yeah, I see it. It's way into shore.

I got a fish on there.

Okay, I don't want to lose this. I don't know how I have a fish on there, but I

do.

But I got to get in there and grab that so I don't lose it.

Whoa.

This is slippery in here.

And it's over my boot.

Oh, no, no, no. That's cold.

Oh, no.

Oh, man.

Oh, man.

Oh, that hurts.

I'm not kidding you.

I'm in bare feet.

I fell in the water, but I didn't lose the fish. I got to get to the fire.

Oh, my feet.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, no.

I fell right in.

Soaked.

Everything's wet now.

Holy crow.

I feel sick to my stomach.

Oh, I got to get out of these wet clothes.

I'm going to have to change.

The cold water is no fun.

My feet are cold, my hands.

Thank goodness I had the fire going before I went to check that line.

In all honesty, I would have been dead.

Doesn't seem like vast improvement from yesterday.

But it seems like it's getting better.

So I'm going to bandage them up. And we're just going to continue this

process until they are good to go.

Slow and steady wins the race with herbal medicine.

This is a hard thing to deal with.

It doesn't matter how good or bad your situation is.

Everything depends on the attitude that you have.

So I'm just going to remain positive this whole time.

I'm going to try and think of some interesting things to do.

And what I really want to do is make an instrument.

Here's my potential piece of wood.

Bow, bow, bow.

So why make a stringed instrument?

One, fun project.

Two, I've never made a stringed instrument before.

Three, I'm a musician, and I miss my instruments terribly.

Four,

why friggin' not, you know?

I'm going to carve this down, but then this will be where the strings kind of

resonate the little noise.

And so, yeah, that's the first part.

This is so experimental.

This ain't going to be no Lucas Miller guitar, that's for sure.

It's going to be a very mini instrument.

A little drumstick.

First peg.

It kind of jams in there.

You know, it's amazing how something threatening your experience out here,

like an infection that could pull you out of the whole shebang.

It gives you such a renewed sense of purpose for being here, you know?

Yay, we have all four of our pegs.

And those are going to be what our string's attached to.

It's just going to be my 12-pound test. The 100-pound, you have to pull it so

tight to get any noise out of it.

I'm lying here in bed feeling ill and all I can think about is I do not want

to go home.

This infection just came back and now I can feel it moving to my glands, which

is not a good sign.

Oh my gosh, I feel like I'm on the verge of dry heaving.

It will listen to my body and whatever it needs to do, but oh my gosh, I just

like...

This is the first time that I've even remotely considered tapping out.

I slept.

Zero hours of sleep last night.

Literally laid awake the entire night in

guttural pain.

Something is going on in there not good.

Then I woke up this morning and I have two very swollen glands in my groin.

like big swollen ones, which means that my infection has turned inward.

So that's really not good.

The gut pain, that's one thing, but a systemic infection I just cannot f***

around with.

So I'm feeling like today may be my last day,

which is wild.

Mentally, I feel fine.

And so here, you know, like so here.

I don't want to go at all, at all. Oh, my gosh.

But I have to take care of my body.

I won't put my health at risk.

If this is my last day, I'm going to spend it in a state of abundance and

joy. and happiness, and gratitude.

The same way that I've spent every day here since the moment the boat dropped

me on that beach.

And I'm going to go to all my favorite spots here and give my deep gratitude.

My temporary shelter spot.

Where it all began.

I want to just enjoy this day, and I want to be present and be full of

gratitude because this journey has been so profound.

Oh, sacred bamboo forest.

I'm so grateful.

This is not what I expected at all, but...

I trust that this is how it is meant to unfold for me.

It's so weird to kind of plan a tap out.

I just never, ever thought that I would get to this place, ever.

We'll see when we wake up, but I am feeling like this is probably my last

night.

So, I'm just...

Being present.

I just feel like I'm not in a survival situation anymore. I just feel like I'm

in a perseverance type situation.

My only plan for today, take my time.

Check my fishing lines, and then that's about it.

Out here, I just got to take it slow and easy.

You can't just go out and just start burning calories.

It just doesn't add up in my equation of what you need to do out here.

People don't like my strategy.

I don't really care.

I'm doing what I need to do here. I'm on track.

It's like game day, and I'm still at it solid.

I'm just moving forward.

Oh, got a fish.

Oh, yeah.

Look at that. Got myself a rainbow.

Look at that. Just barely got him there on the lip.

Bad bell. Look at that.

All right.

Looks good.

Yeah, look how good that's looking.

That's what I'm talking about.

I'm going to enjoy this right here.

My mom makes fish at home.

We always just make them in butter.

We usually fillet it out.

Here I'm trying to eat as much as I can, but we usually fillet it out.

Cook it in butter.

Just fry them up.

Man, that protein helps.

But I keep thinking, conserve, conserve, conserve.

So I am going to just relax here.

I wonder how my little man's holding up jacks.

It's just...

It hit me for the first time.

I miss my family.

I think because I was eating that fish, I fried it up the way my mom fries it

up, and I was just thinking about eating dinner with everybody.

It just hit a nerve in me.

For the first time, I just wanted to be home.

I found two words.

I'm excited about that.

It was the summer after my parents got divorced that I started going to

survival skills summer camps.

I didn't always get along with my dad, and I didn't share with him what I was

learning or who I was becoming.

And that's changed over the years now as an adult.

I'm looking forward to this adventure, being able to share who I am with the

people I love the most that may not see this part of me.

I hope that I can make everybody proud.

The lack of protein is definitely contributing to my slowing down.

I am losing a lot of weight.

I need that protein, and fishing just doesn't feel like it's working for me.

I built a fish weir out of rocks.

My thought is fish would come cruising along looking for insects, make its way

in, and either come over to this side and go in circles or go into the corner

over here.

I built a basket trap.

Oh, man.

I don't know what else to do but just keep going out.

I desperately would love to catch a fish.

Yes!

Come on.

So close.

Please take him along.

I don't know.

I don't know why it is that I struggle so much with it here.

But if I don't catch a fish, I may not be able to stay here.

At this point, fishing doesn't seem like it's worth the effort, but I need

protein.

I noticed how much weight I've lost. You can see my ribs really easily.

I'm so thankful for this fish.

I want with all of my being to stay out here as long as I can.

Oh, thank you very much. You are beautiful.

I am stubborn and have an exceedingly strong will. And maybe I'm a crazy

person.

But I'm going to stick to that.

I want to be the first female winner of Alone.

And I want to be a role model for young girls out there.

I'm thankful for each day that I have.

I'm just thankful.

I'm just waiting for the fire to perk up a little bit.

Because I'm going to move my entire camp further down where the firewood is.

And especially after falling in the lake, I know I need a lot more wood from

over there.

I can't stay warm.

It's ugly, ugly weather.

But I'm tired of fighting with firewood, so I want to get moved over there. Rain

or shine, I'm starting to move today.

I'm going to collect some coals from the fire here, and I'll carry the coals over

there to the other location so I can start a fire over there.

Not too, too far, I guess.

Boy, this bush is just so slippery when it's wet.

I got the tarp. I got to get that set up because now it's clouding over. It looks

like it's going to rain again.

Right there.

Okay.

I'll tell you right now, I'm not making a fancy shelter like I had before.

This is going to be simple.

As long as it keeps the water off me at night.

That's all I care.

So I'm just going to pack everything up. I got to organize it, dry it out later.

There's my new camp over there on the point.

So from there, and there's my old shelter there.

See, everywhere I look, wood.

There's another nice piece.

Oh, I'm so happy, man.

I'm really happy.

I finally found a good spot for wood.

Now that we're 50 days into it.

My goal is to buy my daughter her own little acreage and build her a house.

I just don't want to let her down.

I really need this.

I literally don't even know what to do at this point.

You want to talk about boredom?

There's nothing.

Idle time.

It's idle time.

There was so much idle time just wasted away.

What do you do?

What do you do?

I don't know.

I think about winning $500,000.

Me winning was going to make me do more for my family.

The most important thing in my life right now, by far.

And I just always took it for granted.

And I don't think I ever realized that until I was out here.

There, the hugest part of my life, I miss my family.

It wasn't like before I left I wasn't a father and I wasn't a husband. I was.

But I got out here when it made me realize where my true values are and

where they lie.

Maybe it's not about $500,000.

Maybe it's about just finding yourself and doing what you need to do.

I still feel like I could win this.

Do I stay here and try to get that end prize for my family?

Or do I go back to my family?

Well, it looks like it might be a nice day tomorrow.

I got to go and get plants, finish the shelter, get the shelter arranged a

little better.

Something's squeaking over there near my old shelter.

Somebody misses us already.

I'm sitting here in my shelter, which might not be much of a shelter for much

longer. The problem is the lake's come up. It's come up about six feet in the

last couple of hours.

It's only a few feet from my bed.

Here's my bed, and there's the water level right there.

Yesterday, it was way back there, so I'm not going to get any sleep, obviously.

I got to keep tabs on it.

Well, it keeps coming up a couple inches every half hour, and it's still pouring

rain. This is a bad situation.

Look at how close the lake's coming to my fire, even.

Since falling in the lake, I'm cold all the time.

When you start to get hypothermia, you make bad, stupid mistakes like this, and

this was a mistake to move when I did.

I have a waterproof sleeping bag, so I think the only hope of probably staying

somewhat warm and dry is in the sleeping bag.

get warm.

There's no way of getting warm.

I've got hypothermia, probably second stage.

This is not a good situation at all.

I can't move my hands.

There's just no way I can stay warm like this.

Oh, I can't deal with this.

I can't live out here forever.

How do you get through another day? How do you get through the next hour?

The best of us have a breaking point. Your mind starts to give up on you.

This is done.

I'm capping out.

As a man, as a husband, as a father, it's time to go home to my family.

Time to move forward.

I never looked at this as my home.

I came in here and I looked at this like a cheap apartment.

I've got to put my time in here, and then once something better comes along,

it's time to move on.

My survival strategy coming into this whole thing, was to conserve my energy.

Every calorie counts.

I got to the point that, should I just lay in this shelter for 20 more days, 30

more days?

To me, what am I proving?

The only thing that was left out there dangling on a string is the $500,000.

I wanted to win.

I wanted to win that money.

But... When you reach a sense of fulfillment within yourself, you start

to think about what's next.

Where do you want to go with the rest of your life?

And how do you want to improve your relationship with your family?

And how do you want to make your child's life better?

The money became null to me as I realized it's really time to get back

home. and move forward with my family.

I sat and shivered all night.

Hypothermia set in. Every time I get up, it's like I'm going to faint.

Having quite the battle of wits, me and this bird. He's the roadrunner. There he

goes. He's in the trap.

Oh, dude just came up my path.

That would be a lot of good eating right there.

What is that? My heart is beating so fast.

There's a fox around my shelter.

I don't want to get bit and get rabies, so it's going to be me or it.

A fox.