Original subtitles

[commentator] You know, with the Knicks, it all comes down to offensive rebounding.

[commentator 2] This group has played together since Villanova. Now you're just...

[Billie mumbling]

-[Issa grunts] -Sorry.

Oh, I'm sorry. I am sorry...

-[thuds] -[Paul groans] What the fuck?

We have an announcement. Since we are no longer together,

me and Paul Baker have decided to stop sharing a room.

-Totally. -Yeah, that makes sense.

[Issa] Great. So, we are doing a...

-room swap! What? -Room swap!

Yeah, we couldn't sleep, so we came up with this.

It is going to be great.

[Issa] Yeah, we found the blueprints in Samir's mom's closet.

She doesn't need them anymore, right?

We don't know that. She's always doing little projects.

Thank you, Samir's mom. Okay, everyone, pick a ball.

The color you get is your new room/roommate.

Oh, I feel like we're drawing rocks on Survivor.

I'd be so fucking good at the puzzles.

-[Paul] Yes, Samir. -What if I end up with a girl?

-Grow up, Samir. -Come on, dude.

-[Billie] Then you'll room with a girl. -The house is already co-ed.

Yeah, we're post-gender.

I thought the table was an open forum, but I'll-I'll go fuck myself.

Okay... [sighs] ...everyone, ready?

-[Paul clears throat] -[Issa] Go.

-[gasps] Girls! -[screams]

Boys, boys, boys, boys. Yes, yes, yes, yes.

It's me. Oh, my God, it's me.

Yes, me! It's me!

Oh, thank God. I did not wanna room with Samir or Paul Baker.

Like, what do they even talk about before they fall asleep?

[both] Biggest car we've ever seen.

I saw a monster truck once...

You know what? I'll save it for tonight.

-No! -We'll talk about it tonight.

[♪♪ theme music playing]

Okay, the mini hoop is way better there. [grunts] Oh, you suck.

-No, but it holds. -Yeah.

Dude, and then this can be the Gusher drawer.

-We'd never have to go downstairs, ever. -No.

[both grunt]

And then this can be your side of the bed. I'll go on the other side.

We'll get two beds eventually.

Yeah. Yes!

[Samir and Paul grunting]

Call me crazy. This was meant to be a girl's room.

Mm-hmm.

Every night we should do a theme.

-[gasps] I love that. -Yeah, right.

And tonight could be, "Get drunk in Samir's sister's graduation gowns,"

and then tomorrow could be, like, luau.

Genius. [chuckles]

-Can I say something? -Mm-hmm.

-Can I say something? -Mm-hmm. Now that we've finally switched rooms... [sighs] ...it feels, like, real.

Now that we've finally switched rooms... [sighs] ...it feels, like, real.

Like, I'm single again.

Single Issa.

-New York City is trembling. -[chuckles]

-I don't know about trembling. -Ugh. I do.

Oh, my God.

We should go out tonight.

Tonight?

Tonight? I mean, how fun would that be? Single Issa, single Billie on the prowl.

I mean, how fun would that be? Single Issa, single Billie on the prowl.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm really tired from the move.

Oh. Come on. Picking up guys has been, like, my one marketable skill this year.

I want you to see. Get dressed.

-Okay, you've convinced me. -[chuckles]

Oh, my God, I could wear... Wait, look.

This, halter, no pants, just underwear.

-No. -Ugh. It's too much fabric.

You're right.

-[Paul] And he's down. Samir is down. -No.

-From the top. Here it comes. -No. No, no.

-[phone dings] -T, T, T, T!

Oh, dude.

-Bro, imagine that wasn't T. Boom! -I wish.

Sorry, Carly's just in Austin. She wants to say good night,

-so I need like 10, 15, okay? -Okay.

Wait, door open or closed?

Uh... I guess closed.

-Closed is chill. -Okay.

[grunts]

[woman moaning on video]

Yeah. Right there.

Keep going. Yeah.

-Yo, I just... -Yo. [clears throat]

Were you about to jerk off?

No. Skin is dry. Nose is stuffy.

Mm-hmm.

But, um, would it have been a problem if it was yes?

Could have been... Like perchance?

No, I mean, we all... we all gotta eat.

Brother's gotta eat.

I guess I would rather that you didn't eat in the bed.

I guess I would rather that you didn't eat in the bed. -Yes, uh-huh. -Right?

-Yes, uh-huh. -Right?

Because we wouldn't want crumbs in the bed, right?

Because we wouldn't want crumbs in the bed, right? No crumbs in the bed.

No crumbs in the bed.

So, neither of us will eat in the bed.

-Great. -Got it, yeah.

-[trills lips] -Huh?

It's just that Carly's traveling for residency interviews all month,

so my restaurant's closed.

And my restaurant and I just broke up.

Oh, but the bathroom is like right--

I thought about that. Bathroom door doesn't lock.

-Yeah. -And the attic...

-Spooky pipes. Oh. -Spooky pipes.

Fucking hate those.

Huh.

-Gusher? -Yeah, Gusher me.

-Huh. -Hmm.

Oh. And, uh, don't skimp on the lychee.

-I can handle it. -[bartender] I got you.

-Nice. Yeah. -I know, right? [chuckles]

It's like the student has become the teacher,

but the teacher is still the teacher

and now we're just two teachers, really good at finding guys to fuck.

-Yeah. -[chuckles]

Oh, hey. Look.

-Okay. I'm wingmanning you. Scooch over. -Uh!

-Wait, right now? -Yeah, right now. Scooch.

[Billie clears throat]

Hi, I'm Billie, and this is my friend, Issa,

and we are drinking martinis.

Hmm. Maybe I could put those two martinis on my tab.

[Billie] You probably should.

Say hi, Iss.

[in British accent] Hello. [normal voice] Sorry, that was...

[in British accent] Hello. [chuckles]

It's good to see you night... tonight, governor.

[normal voice] That's me if I were British today.

Nice. Um...

-Well, Issa is actually a-- -Wait a second.

-Does this go with my outfit? -[patron] Um...

Be honest. Does this go with my outfit right now?

Me if I were random. [chuckles]

Sorry, I'm... I'm getting some texts.

[Issa in British accent] Oh, hello, is it Mummy on the line?

[in high-pitched voice] Cinderelly, Cinderelly, please let the mice free.

-What? -Wait, hold on. Me if I were a crab.

Oh, our drinks are here.

[Issa in deep voice] Great, thank you, barkeep.

Cheers, one last time before the war.

-Can I get the check? -[Issa] It's the blitzkrieg.

How have you gone 11 months without having sex?

After a while, the body just kind of acclimates.

It's like altitude.

Anton, you have your own room.

You're morally obligated to sleep with someone in it.

[Samir] I didn't appreciate the solo room until it was gone.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Don't point your spoon at me.

[Billie] Okay, I know you're worried about catching feelings,

but you can hook up without it meaning anything.

but you can hook up without it meaning anything. I fucked a tax attorney the other night, and I don't care if he lives or dies.

I fucked a tax attorney the other night, and I don't care if he lives or dies.

Who are you?

You used to be this nice girl with those nice little loafers.

-Anton. -Anton, you're deflecting.

Okay, fine, I will hook up with someone in my gorgeous new room.

Thank you.

[Issa coughs]

-[Billie] Oh. -What's that?

Just a little a souvenir from girls' night out, aka somebody's number.

[Issa laughs, squeals]

-Wow. -Yeah.

I thought I was gonna be a little rusty, but I guess not.

Okay, I got to go to work, but, Billie, luau night tonight.

-Yes. -Okay.

Ah. Love you, guys. Don't lose that napkin.

We won't. We'll cherish it.

-Okay, bye, roomie, you man-eater. -[Issa] Bye.

She chomping.

-She chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomping. -[Anton chuckles]

Okay, so, Issa was not chomping. Last night was a disaster.

-What do you mean? -What? She got somebody's...

♪♪ 800-588-23... ♪♪

[gasps] ♪♪ Empire... ♪♪

Today.

I have never seen her act like that.

I've never seen anyone act like that.

It was like she was doing like a... like a character showcase.

And, like, at one point, she was pretending

that her fingers were legs

and she was doing this, like, sexy cabaret on the bar.

I mean, what is that?

-Weird little guy. -Weird little guy.

-Yeah. -What?

Issa is one of those people that when she gets uncomfortable, she...

she acts like a weird little guy.

Okay, but Issa doesn't get uncomfortable.

I mean, I've seen Issa shave on a crowded bus.

That is Issa.

-Well, that's Issa since you've known her... -[Samir] Hmm.

...but she was not that confident when we met her in college.

Oh, God, uh, I just got a horrible flash.

[gasps] Issa introducing herself to every new person at freshman orientation like...

[mimics electric shock] "Hi, I'm Issa... No, just kidding."

See, but I haven't seen weird little guy since...

Sorority rush when she did the whole thing in an Elmo voice.

[imitating Elmo] Issa loves Theta. Issa does keg stand?

Okay, so what did you do about it?

-Do about it? Nothing. -[Anton] We didn't do anything.

-What is there to do? -We just waited it out.

That is such a boy solution.

Just sit around with your hands down your pants.

I freakin' wish.

-Whereas girls actually solve problems. -Mm-hmm.

Oh, shit.

We getting carpet?

[♪♪ thumping electronic music playing]

Wow! It's so loud!

[Billie] I know! That's the point!

Yeah.

You can just dance and not talk 'cause everybody's just dancing and...

not talking.

Are you sure you don't wanna just go home? Do luau night?

What do you think?

Uh, I think the bass is disrupting my heartbeat.

-Come on. -Okay.

-[shower running] -[Samir] I can chance it.

I'm chancing it.

[gasps, moans]

-Hi. -Hi.

-Hi, yeah, hi, yeah. -I just came in to grab the Neosporin.

I just cut myself trying to hang my new floating bookshelf.

No.

-You know what's funny about Neosporin? -What?

I always think that we don't have Neosporin,

so then I end up buying another, and then we end up with like eight.

Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight.

Eight's a funny word, right?

Oh. That reminds me, I have to call my aunt.

Great, yeah, yeah, yeah. You should go and call her downs--

-[Anton] Yeah, I'll do it on speaker. -[line rings]

-[Carol] Hello. -[Anton] Aunt Carol, it's me and Samir.

-[Carol] Hey, boys. -[Samir] Hi.

-We need to hear about that estate sale. -Do you mind?

-[Carol] I'll tell you later. -[Anton] Sorry. Here.

-[Carol] Oh, hi, Samir. -No, no, no. Oh, my God. No, no.

-[Anton] It's on FaceTime. It's on... -Hi.

[♪♪ thumping electronic music playing]

Cut to after this where I'm in your house

slobbing so hard on your knob I'm, like, dribbling all down it.

Uh, what?

I said cut to...

to after this at your house where I'm slobbing

so hard on your knob I'm, like, dribbling down it.

Right, right.

Right, right. No, no, no, I'm from Jersey.

No, no, no, I'm from Jersey.

Do you know those park benches with the divider in the middle?

[Billie] Yeah.

That's called hostile architecture, and it makes me sick.

Wow, you're so passionate.

Thanks. Wait, wait, I'm... I'm really good at this.

Can I guess your sign?

Oh, my God, yes, I love this.

Okay. Uh, Leo.

-Yes, yeah, you got it. [nervous chuckle] -See, I told you.

Wha... Okay, rolling dice?

Mama wants a new pair of shoes and... [groans]

Mama wants a new pair of shoes and... [groans] Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em.

Please, Hammer, don't hurt 'em.

Who are you... Hey, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna check out what's going on over there.

-Okay. -Cool.

-See you around. -See you around.

I mean, Times Square is dead.

It was fun while it lasted,

but now it's just a place to get Broccolini, you know.

You have some, uh... you have some salt on your lip.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, I could... I could help you get it if you want.

Totally.

Hey, you get off of her! That's my daughter!

-Oh, my God. Hi. [chuckles] -That's my... That's my friend.

-Oh. Hey. -This is, uh, my friend Issa.

Hi. [in British accent] It's a bit loud in here, isn't it?

Iss, why don't you go, uh, request that song we like?

-[normal voice] What song? -The one with the... the girl.

I don't know. Do you wanna play a board game?

Do you wanna play Heads Up?

[Billie's date] Thank you for asking, but no.

Have you seen my friend?

-I, uh... -Oh, your friend. He...

-He apparated away, Ron Weasley. -Issa!

And your father was attacked in the Ministry of Magic.

Um... It was great meeting you, guys.

-This was awesome. -[Issa, normal voice] Yeah.

-Yeah. -Wait, do you want to exchange numbers?

We should do the thing where we tap our phones together.

-For sure. Boop. Got it. -No, I...

You have to actually hold it down for a little longer than that.

[Billie's date] No, no, it came through.

Oh, is this the song you were talking about?

I love this song. I-I obviously know this song.

-This is smart, right? -Yeah.

If you can't play a home game, take the show on the road.

Yeah, road dogs.

-Yeah. Woof, woof. -[receptionist] Next.

[Paul] Hello, Linda.

We are here to make a donation of sperm.

-Let me get the forms. -[Samir] Thank you.

You know this used to be a Shake Shack?

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

Okay. Our guidelines state that all males have to be at least 5'9".

Okay. Our guidelines state that all males have to be at least 5'9". -I am that. -Mm-hmm.

-I am that. -Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Once you fill out the forms, we'll take you back

for your physical and then you'll undergo a background check.

And just how long do the background checks take?

-Two weeks. -[grunts]

-I'll be dead by then. -What?

Is there a way that we can pay, like, a rush fee, say, like, for next day?

-Or same day, even? -Mm-hmm.

I would love same day.

Yeah, same day just sounds expensive.

I'll sell my dad's watch. I don't fucking care anymore.

We don't do that, unfortunately.

We don't do that, unfortunately. Okay, how about I'll just tell you what would come up in a background check,

Okay, how about I'll just tell you what would come up in a background check,

and that way we just get ahead of it.

We don't even have to do this whole thing, right?

[Linda] Sir--

I googled how to 3D print a gun once.

Okay? I wasn't gonna do anything.

That's it. That's-That's all you're gonna find, okay?

-Cup? -Cup? No.

-The-- -[Paul] What if we just donate today,

and then you don't even have to pay us? Pro bono?

-Yeah, it's not about the money. -No, for the love of the game.

And if, in two weeks, our background checks come up clean,

congrats, you just got yourself a whole lot of sperm.

But if not, you trash the loads,

flush 'em down the drain, pretend this never happened.

We don't call them "loads." I think you guys have to leave.

-For that? -For nomenclature?

Maybe I'm not understanding something.

Don't these women need the sperm?

Like, aren't they happy just to have the sperm?

Think of the women.

We get high-quality samples from educated candidates

from all over the city every day.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't realize that the Queen of England came here for her jizz.

-Samy. I'm sorry about him. -[Linda] You guys gotta go.

Wait-- Linda. Can I call you Linda?

Are you busy after this?

-I'm married. -Me too.

-And I'm gay. -Hey, me too, sometimes.

[Samir] Hey, I have an idea.

How about we turn off The Kelly Clarkson Show

-before I lose my goddamn mind? -Shh. She's interviewing Stanley Tucci.

You're the craziest one here, you know that?

[Paul grunts]

How much did you say two beds would cost again?

A million dollars.

-[Paul groans] -[thumping]

-[person] Give it to me. -[Paul] What is that?

Does everyone hear that or is my head just still pounding?

-[person moans] You want me to flip? -[bed creaks]

-[person moans] You want me to flip? -[bed creaks] -Is that Anton? -[loud moaning]

-Is that Anton? -[loud moaning]

Oh, my God. He's hooking up.

-Wait. Quiet. Quiet. -Go, go, go.

Guys, wait, wait. Hey, hey. Okay, guys, give him some space.

Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second. Shh. Shh.

I hear springs. My parents have a Tempur-Pedic.

-[moaning] -Tempur-Pedics don't have springs.

-Oh. What the hell? It's porn! -[Samir] It's just porn?

-Can I help you, please? -You're faking it?

Are you kidding me right now?

There are people in this house dying of thirst,

Anton, and you're here pouring evian down the drain?

[scoffs] First of all, I don't drink evian. It tastes thick to me.

And second of all, I don't think you're understanding the risk here, okay?

When I hook up with someone, it's quicksand.

My friendships? Neglected.

My work? Cast aside.

My mother? A mere rumor, a-a woman I might have met in a mall.

I don't know. I cannot picture her face.

-Where is she? Mama? -Come on, Anton.

-Where is she? Mama? -Come on, Anton. You can find one person to hook up with that you won't catch feelings for.

You can find one person to hook up with that you won't catch feelings for.

-Can I? Really? -Just pick somebody. Pick anybody.

It could be the worst person of all time! I don't care! Dead or alive!

Alive! Just fuck someone alive!

Twenty-four hours. Twenty-four hours to earn your room...

[Anton] Uh-huh.

-...with a good, honest fuck. -[Billie] Easy.

-[Samir] Otherwise, guess what? -What?

-Room swap over! Yes, yes, yes. -No, no.

-Can't go back. -Yes, we can.

It's my house. I'm pulling rank for once.

Fine, Samir. I will fuck a stranger in your parents' room,

someone hateful and loathsome. Ass-up!

Thank you.

Now, please leave, while I'm turned.

I need to find the Hidden Immunity Idol.

Oh, my God. Just look where the camera is pointing.

Oh, my God. Just look where the camera is pointing. -That is where the idol is. Hello. -I've been looking everywhere.

-That is where the idol is. Hello. -I've been looking everywhere.

That rewards challenge was intense though.

-I know. I could never do that. -All that crawling under nets.

Uh, I think I'm gonna get some air.

Okay, that's...

-Wait, stop. -Hmm?

What's under your hoodie?

[clicks tongue] Oh, uh...

Just, like, a T-shirt I got from a T-shirt cannon.

[Issa gasps]

-That's your backless halter top. -No.

-Are you going out tonight? -Fine, fine, I'm going out, okay?

What happened to single Issa and single Billie on the prowl?

You're not prowling, Iss.

You're, like, being a clown and doing a crab impression.

-He loved that crab. -He did not like the crab, Iss.

He did. The crab made him super hard.

Okay, whatever. I want to meet someone tonight,

and it's not gonna happen

-if you're being a weird little guy. -[gasps]

I don't know what you're talking about.

Issa! Do you know how long it's taken me to get good at flirting?

Like, literally all 25 years of my life. Okay?

I taught you how to get good at this.

But now it doesn't matter how good I flirt.

But now it doesn't matter how good I flirt. I don't get to fuck the guy who knows what hostile architecture is,

I don't get to fuck the guy who knows what hostile architecture is,

-all because you're... you're being weird. -I am weird?

-Yes. -You want to know what I think is weird?

Going out alone to get laid.

Like, what are you, a middle-aged divorcée at an airport bar?

[gasps]

Going out alone isn't weird.

It's mature. I asked my mom.

-I'm going to my room. -I'm going to my room.

-No, I'm going to my room. Move! -Issa!

-Move! Stay back! -[grunts] Issa!

[hand gripper squeaking]

Everybody okay in here?

Well, Samir has had a mild erection for the last 30 minutes,

and I am no longer speaking to Billie.

And I told Issa that if she's so mad, she can go to another room.

There are plenty of rooms in this house.

[both] Fewer than you think.

Well, I'd like to stay with my friend Samir here

Well, I'd like to stay with my friend Samir here 'cause, unlike some people, I actually like being with my friends.

'cause, unlike some people, I actually like being with my friends.

I don't only think about sex.

-Don't touch, don't touch. -You know? Sorry.

Okay, guys, we tried the room swap and I appreciate it,

but clearly, it's not working,

and as the last person to move in,

it would only be fair that I'd be the first to move out.

-Paul Baker, that's not even an option. -What?

-No, you can't move out. -You're not moving out.

Guys, look at us! Look at us.

You girls are fighting.

Samir and I, we can't, you know, find relief.

-Hold on. Hey, hey, hey. Hey. -What?

-[Samir] We can make this work, okay? -Can we, Samir?

Maybe the pipes in the attic aren't that bad.

Maybe the pipes in the attic aren't that bad. [Issa] Anton? Do you--

[Issa] Anton? Do you--

-Oh, my God, is someone up there with you? -What? Who? Where?

Seriously. I'm scared.

Did you hook up last night?

-Um, it... It's not... Wasn't... -You did.

-Well, we want to meet him. -Go get him down here.

Nah, you don't want to.

-Yeah, we do. -Yeah, we do.

Show us.

I don't want you to want to.

-[Zack-Carlos] Ooh. My ears are burning. -Okay. Please. Just stay.

-Wait, what? -Stay there. Just stay. No, stay!

-I said stay. -Hi, freaks.

[all scream]

-Yes, Anton and I fucked last night. -[Billie gasps] God.

And, yes, this is your last string cheese.

You're sick.

whispers]Stop, stop, stop, stop.

First you marry my boyfriend, and then you have sex with my ex-husband?

What is wrong with you, Anton?

-[scoffs] This is what you all wanted. -No.

You told me to break my dry spell with someone I wouldn't catch feelings for.

Okay, so, sorry, here he is.

I'd rather you found someone dead.

Oh, no, what are we even gonna do about this?

What the hell is even gonna happen?

No, no, no. Don't leave me.

I think it'd be okay if we all put our heads together though, right?

-If we all just stay cool, right? -Mm-hmm.

[Paul] Come on, guys, he has to leave eventually.

He's got a job. He's got a life.

No, he's unhirable and he's obsessed with us... [inhales]

...and now, he has a foot in the door.

Oh, is this for the room swap?

Anton told me about it during my postcoital stretch.

-Wink-wink. -[Issa chuckles]

I'm just gonna add a wee little square for me.

-Basement, perhaps? -No.

Zack-Carlos bin Laden.

[Anton] What?

He wasn't born with the name. He changed it.

That's worse!

-[pipes rumbling] -Oh.

[pants] Fuck it.

[grunts] Make him go home, Anton.

[Issa] Just give him my room.

I'm sure Billie will love living with a diagnosed nympho.

You know what? I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna be mature and talk to him.

-[Issa] No. He will... -[Anton] Okay, be careful.

The-The charm on his necklace is a human tooth.

Whose tooth?

[grunts]

-You're really on there, huh? -Zack-Carlos?

-Hmm? -Yeah, can we just chat real quick?

I know what this is about, but don't worry,

Issa and I, we're fine living together.

Oh. No, that's not--

How's she doing, by the way? Anton told me about the breakup.

Before oral, after the other oral.

You... You've actually known her for a while, right?

Mm-hmm.

She's sort of been acting like this, um, weird little guy lately.

-Weird? -Yeah.

Have you seen that side of her?

Who decides what's weird?

I mean, God, some people think that I'm weird.

No, totally. Uh, I guess... I don't know. I've...

I-I guess I just thought when she was single

that it'd be kind of like, her and me going out...

You thought... Billie... Billie, Billie, Billie, Billie.

[Billie] Hmm.

[Billie] Hmm. There's no such thing as weird when you're going through a breakup.

There's no such thing as weird when you're going through a breakup.

Me, I like to go to Mount Sinai and watch the light leave people's eyes.

Oh, my God.

And Issa, I guess her thing is just being that weird little guy.

All things considered, that seems pretty normal to me.

[gasps]

That's nice. But that's my two cents.

Now, enough talking. I wanna dance.

This room should be the creative hub of our house.

Okay, I hate him, but I've been saying that for years.

[♪♪ "We No Speak Americano" playing]

-[pipes rumbling] -[Samir] Shh.

Stop, I'm trying to focus.

-[pipes rumbling louder] -Oh, my God.

[gas hissing]

Oh. Oh.

[Samir] Oh, shit.

Um.

No.

-[alarm beeping] -Oh.

[alarm continues beeping]

[♪♪ music stops]

[♪♪ music resumes]

Fine, I'll do it, but not for free.

How long is this song?

I think it's a megamix.

We need percussion. I'm gonna go get a pot and a spoon.

[Samir] Carbon monoxide alarm!

-[Billie] What? -Carbon monoxide alarm!

It just started. I ran down here immediately to get you guys.

No delay. It just started.

Anton! Women and children! Women and children!

-Me first! Me first! -Please.

-Thank God. Are you okay? Are you okay? -Oh, God.

Okay, one, two, three... Hey!

Wait, guys... [stammers] ...where's Zack-Carlos?

Wait, guys... [stammers] ...where's Zack-Carlos? [Billie] Uh, I-I don't know.

[Billie] Uh, I-I don't know.

[Samir stammering]

You guys are horrible. Okay, please.

[clears throat]

[softly] Zack-Carlos.

[softly] Zack-Carlos.

-Anton. -What?

That's the loudest I can scream.

It's the loudest he can scream. What are you gonna do?

-Is everyone okay? -Oh, yeah.

[Issa] Yeah, yeah. We're good. We're good.

[Issa] Yeah, yeah. We're good. We're good. Did everyone make it out?

Did everyone make it out?

-No. [sighs] No. -[Billie] There is one inside.

You sure you're both okay?

Uh, yeah. No, it was a little scary, but we're good now.

-We... [stammers] Oh. -Is something--

-Sorry, you go... -[firefighter stammers]

[both chuckle]

You know, they tried to kill me, the lot of 'em!

And still I rise up!

You're fine, sir.

We're gonna do some checks on the gas levels, then we'll be outta here.

Thanks.

We're off at 6:00 if you two wanna get some drinks?

-[firefighter 2] Yeah. -Oh. Um...

Um, yeah. [stammers] Sorry.

Um, yeah. [stammers] Sorry. Um, we could do that, but--

Um, we could do that, but--

[in British accent] No, thank you, sir.

Me and my missus here, we're gonna have a quiet night at home.

[normal voice] Me if I was a chimney sweep.

She was a chimney sweep there. She was a British chimney sweep.

-They inhaled gas. They inhaled gas! -Yep.

-Stretchers! Get the oxygen tank! -[firefighter 2] Copy that.

[Billie, Issa chuckle]

-I know what you did. -I'm not sorry.

Fuck you.

[♪♪ "We No Speak Americano" playing]

Turns out, the one who was preaching trust the most

is the one who was blindsided.

[all] "Grab your torches. Head back to camp. Good night."

[♪♪ "We No Speak Americano" resumes]

[♪♪ music ends]