Original subtitles

Oh.

I'm sorry, but we're not open yet.

- No, and you won't be. - Come again, mister?

I said this club is not going to open.

Do you mind telling me what this is all about?

- I certainly don't. - Sit down.

- Sounds almost like a band now. - What do you mean almost?

Those guys are practically perfect.

All they need is a couple more years' rehearsal.

How did you like it, lamb chop?

You know, you promised me this'd be a flop.

Don't worry, you can't make money either way.

If the club clicks, we'll buy it out.

If it lays an egg, you're hooked.

- Well, that makes sense. - Yeah, because, uh..

Yeah, yeah. Would you two mind holding hands in your own time?

You know we're payin' the boys for the hour now.

That's right. Come on, we gotta rehearse.

- Don't get lost. - I sure won't, honey chow.

Why, uh, why don't you just tie a bell around his neck, huh?

Uh..

Say, you doing alright with that big oil man?

Yes, but don't forget I'm your girl

and I'm only being sweet to him for your sake.

Or do you want me to fall for him?

Why, Elaine, where could you get an idea like that?

- See you later, pork chop. - Jeff, we're in trouble.

Overtime trouble if we don't finish this dress rehearsal.

Save it, will you, kid?

Be right with you after this number.

'Close the curtains, El.'

'Quiet, everybody, we're going to rehearse "First Street."'

I never could see why happiness should be a planned routine.

By that I mean to say

You mean, good things should happen

casually happen upon the scene?

For instance take my lucky day

I happened to walk down First Street

I could have gone down Second Street

But I happened to walk down Frist Street

And you happened along

I usually walk down Third Street

But heaven planned that we should meet

So I happened to walk down First Street

And you happened along And you happened along

I found a highway up to the sky

You wandered my way

And we wound up in paradise And we wound up in paradise

I'm lucky I went down First Street

I wouldn't trade that little street

For all of the wealth on Wall Street

'Cause you happened along 'Cause you happened along

I happened to walk down A Street

I could have gone down B or C

But I happened to walk down A Street

You happened along

I usually go down D Street

But D to me is very close to E

There I was smack on F Street

Still I couldn't go wrong

You knew where I'd walk

Merely a guess

There on the sidewalk

We both walked into happiness

We went by G Street

Until we came to I and J

And J became Okay Street 'cause you happened along

I happened to walk down First Street

I could have gone down Second Street

But I happened to walk down Frist Street

And you happened along And you happened along

I usually walk down Third Street

But heaven planned that we should meet

So I happened to walk down First Street

And you happened along And you happened along

I found a highway I found a highway

Up to the sky Up to the sky

You wandered my way You wandered my way

And we wound up in paradise And we wound up in paradise

I'm lucky I went down First Street

I wouldn't trade that little street

For all of the wealth on Wall Street

'Cause you happened along 'Cause you happened along

How did I do, darling?

Honey, you were absolutely...mediocre.

Oh, thanks, Jeff.

I still don't think we'll be in shape to open tomorrow night.

It doesn't make any difference.

- Who are you? - Uh, who are you?

He asked you first.

It just happens that you're living next door

to the great maestro, Ladislaus Cassel.

Oh, his highbrow music won't bother us.

Yes, but your lowbrow music will bother him

now that he's back from South America.

Uh, don't you read the morning papers?

Who gets up in the morning?

You don't seem to understand.

I've already closed five nightclubs

that tried to open here.

It's impossible for Maestro Cassel

and his granddaughter to work with this, uh

this noise going on next door.

- Then, uh, why don't they move? - That's a good suggestion.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

So as their manager, I thought I'd save you

a lot of time and money by warning you

that unless you turn your kind of music off and keep it off

we'll be forced to call in the license commissioner.

- Is that clear? - Sure.

- No more music. - No more music.

No more music.

Good day.

Boys.

Relax, boys, we gotta figure this thing out.

- Can he really close us up? - Sure.

Well, what's our next move?

Did you ever hear of mass suicide?

Now, don't you folks get to worryin' on my account.

Of course, I'll lose less if you close

before you open, but then that's life.

- Is it? - Yeah.

Come on, sugar, change your clothes

and we'll see how we look in a new mink coat.

Anything to make you happy.

I wonder how we'll look in an old wooden barrel?

Well, that's life.

That was lovely, my dear. Lovely.

Such timber, such..

I smell smoke.

Don't you smell smoke, madame?

- Don't you, Vicki? - No.

Grandfather, do you smell smoke?

No, no, just New York you smell.

That nice monoxide carbon.

New York, New York.

I told you we should never have brought her voice here.

But I like New York.

Even though I haven't seen any of it.

The voice? She should have a little life.

Like you, dear Lucia.

Remember Milan when I conducted La Scala and you sing.

In the little gay restaurant we find together.

Oh, such spaghetti, such ravioli, such heartburn.

There never has been such a voice.

- Bravo, bravo. - Oh, I love my grandmother.

Such a voice!

Yes, but don't you see, maestro, you married madame.

Nothing improves a woman's voice like marriage.

Please, Martin. Isn't being engaged enough?

Listen, Vicki's so young still.

The way she is engaged is not enough

and the way she will be married is too much.

- Ladislaus. - Lucia, Lu..

Have you forgotten Milan?

Milan. The-the little lake in the park?

And the little boat on the lake?

And the little, uh, canoodling we did?

Canoodling? What a frightful word.

Well, I don't think it's so frightful.

- But what is it? - Canoodling.

Canoodling, it means, uh

she's making a little, little light romancing

with maybe two, three nice boys.

Find out what love is. Why not?

- Oh! - Don't listen to him, Vicki.

- Your grandfather is-- - I-I know, I know, it's men.

But with one or two memories.

Before Vicki settles down yet

one or two memories she should have.

Maestro Cassel, are you implying that--

Wait-wait-wait a minute. Implying?

I'm not sure what does that mean?

But I suspect you are right.

It wouldn't be good for Vicki to marry anyone

without falling in love first with someone.

Ladislaus, please!

Vicki, go up to your room and take your rest.

Yes, grandmother.

And don't forget your lemon juice.

Yes, Martin.

Grandfather, before you married

did you fall in love with, with someone?

Well, uh..

Under the present circumstances

I don't think that I should answer.

Of course not.

I was the only girl in your grandfather's life.

Wasn't I, Ladislaus?

Oh, well, uh, you were the last.

- You-- - Run along, Vicki.

Oh, Inez, I hate to go to bed in the daytime.

Look, it's so wonderful outside.

Ever since you were 14

you take your siesta in the afternoon.

- Your voice. - Oh, I'm sick of my voice.

Every morning I practice, every afternoon I practice.

And now it seems I have to get married

just on account of my voice.

Never mind. Come on.

Get my blue suit. I'm going out.

- But, my precious nina-- - I don't need any rest.

- Go on, Inez. Hurry up. - Uh, a-alright.

Ju-just as you, as you wish.

- Any brainstorm yet? - Mnh-mnh.

Sh..

You know, the granddaughter looks like a hep character.

Hep?

A character who's done nothing but study opera for five years.

What a waste of face and figure.

- Doesn't have to be wasted. - Meaning what?

Well, look, the girl has lived in South America all this time.

She'd probably fall like a ton of bricks for the first

good-looking, clean-cut American boy she meets.

What's that got to do with you?

Well, who's the charm boy of this outfit?

Who makes all the other wolves in town

look like Little Red Riding Hood?

But of course. Steve.

- Uh, Steve? - Yeah.

Well, he's alright, too, I guess.

- Say, what are you driving at? - Well, it's very simple.

One of us gets an introduction with the girl

makes her fall for him, tells her how important

the club is to us and, boom, we open.

- I can't miss. - Yeah.

Jeff, we're going to be married.

Listen, baby, what's more important to you?

- Your happiness or our success? - Shall I tell you?

- Shall we go? - Let's do.

- Okay, I know what I'll do. - Yeah?

I'll use the old charm system.

You know, "Haven't we met some place before?

"In Monte Carlo? The kasbah?

Behind that old 8-ball, yes?"

No. But nice try, actually.

- Hey. - Mm?

That's her. I mean, that's she.

Cassel's granddaughter.

What a fuselage.

- Yeah, let's get goin'. - Yeah, I guess I better.

Wait, wait a minute. This was my idea.

This is no time for an amateur, me boy.

Amateur? Me?

Hm.

La la-la-la-la la-la-laa

La-la-la-la da-di-di-da

Ta-ra-ra-ra raa ra-ra

La-laa la-ra-ra-raa

La-la-la-la-la la-laa

Ta-ra-ra-ra haa-ha-ha

- It's a nice tune, isn't it? - Yes, when it's sung correctly.

You were flat.

Nice tune, isn't it? Boy, did she give you the freeze.

- Flat, was I? - Right on your high F.

Let me show you how a real wolf operates.

Wait a minute, I wanna get to know that doll

so I can give her the air.

Remember how we picked up that cookie in Albuquerque?

Yeah, and how the cops picked us up?

Hey, what about that treatment we gave Maria Lou in Memphis?

Ah, you got Maria Lou, I got a split lip.

- Hey, what about Milwaukee? - No, no.

Now that's the one where you socked me.

Want us to open the nightclub or don't you?

Yeah, sure, but..

Well, alright, but when you smack me

don't get carried away.

Remember, you love me.

Come on.

A lovely day, isn't it?

Uh, nice night, wasn't it?

Well, that day went fast.

- Will you, please, go away? - With you?

- Why, sure, babe. - Oh, let me go.

Now let's not play hard to get.

- Let go of her. - But I like her.

Can't you see this young lady

is not a babe? Now take a potter, John.

Say, listen, who asked you to attend this party?

This young lady happens to be a friend of mine.

I hope. Now you get out of here.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

You won't get away with this

muscling into my favorite street.

Thank you very much.

I'm sorry I had to resort to fisticuffs, Miss Cassel.

Miss Cassel? Well, how did you know my name?

Miss Victoria Cassel.

But I knew it even before then.

Everyone who loves music knows the name Cassel.

But I didn't know what you looked like

or that I'd meet you.

Or what you'd look like.

Well, I-I think you had a pretty good look by now.

Goodbye.

Do you want me to call a policeman?

No.

Isn't a girl ever safe

on the street in this city?

Wouldn't life be dull if she were?

Yes. But I really shouldn't even be talking to you.

Girls often talk to me.

I find it a very simple method of communication.

What's the harm?

After all, we'll probably never see each other again ever.

No. We'll probably never see each other again ever.

That is, unless you think

you ought to take me into your family.

Tell them how much you, uh, owe me.

How much I what?

Remember? Our friend?

Why, of course. They'll be very grateful.

I consider this a great honor, Miss Cassel.

That's my grandfather.

He plays over the movements of the symphonies

he's going to conduct.

Grandfather, this is Mr. Ross.

- How do you do, sir? - How do you do?

I'm very indebted to him.

Uh, uh, bill collector?

No, I collect young ladies in trouble.

I'm afraid I do not understand.

Or do I?

Uh, she was being molested on the street.

And I, well, I, I only did what you would do, sir.

Uh-huh. You-you un-molested her?

- That's right. - Well, thank you, my boy.

- Please sit down. - Sure.

And he can sing, too, grandfather.

Oh, you sing?

Is that how you frightened the man away?

Oh, no, he's-he's got a wonderful voice.

- Oh, now, take it easy. - Oh, you-you sing professional?

Well, I-I guess you can call it that.

- Opera? - Hmm, well--

Perhaps concert?

- Uh, no. - Uh, church singer, maybe?

I'm afraid its pretty far from that.

I, uh, I might as well confess, Mr. Cassel.

I operate the little nightclub next door.

- The one I hear you object to. - You sing in a nightclub?

I-I do not object to nightclubs, my boy.

- No? - No.

When I was young, I sang in one.

- Oh, why, grandfather. - Is that so?

J-just for a little while.

And it wasn't called nightclub.

It was called beer hall.

And then I met my wife.

And she wasn't my wife when I met her

but she is my wife now.

And together we have tried to make good music our life.

Mr. Cassel, there's more than one kind of good music.

You like symphony, I go for swing.

Now, uh, when I came in, you were playing a passage

from Mendelssohn.

- Uh, do you mind? - Please.

Uh, suppose it were played like this.

That flute, I have many years.

I never knew it could do that.

Mr. Cassel, before you try to close this up

why don't you bring the family down to our opening?

I'll reserve a ringside table for you.

- On the house, of course. - I don't know.

My-my wife, she goes to Phillynilly for the weekend.

You mean Philadelphia, grandfather.

Phillydilly for the weekend.

Uh, at a benefit to sing.

Well, that makes it perfect. Martin's going with her.

- My manager. - We don't like him.

- Well, may we expect you? - Yes, you can expect us.

But that we come, I am not sure.

Well, here's hoping.

- Uh, do I go out the same way? - Yes.

- Goodbye, sir. - Mm-hmm, goodbye.

Mr. Ross, you don't know what this means to me.

You don't know what this means to me.

- How did it work? - Great.

They're even coming to the opening, I think.

Oh, that's swell. Boy, you did a great job and I'm prou..

Oh, interfere with me and my pickin' up, will ya?

Huh?

Hi, darling. How'd you like my last number?

- They all loved you, honey. - But do you?

Excuse me a minute, will you, Elaine?

Don't make it any longer than that.

Oh, Steve.

- Isn't that Mr. Cassel? - That's him.

Well, shall I turn my fatal charm on him?

Save it for Jeff.

- Good evening. - Hello.

Maestro Cassel, this is an honor.

I don't know how she talked me into it.

Grandfather, didn't you promise to say you talked me into it?

Steve! Isn't this Mr. Cassel, the great conductor?

In the flesh. Thank you.

Miss Cassel, Maestro Cassel, may I present Sue Jackson.

- How do you do? - How do you do?

Let's sit down, shall we?

I reserved a table just in case.

Here we are. How do you like our band?

Is that that low fellow you saved me from on the street?

- He does look familiar. - Oh, isn't he horrible?

Horrible? I don't get this.

Doesn't she know that you know Jeff?

Yes, yes, she knows and he knows.

Don't you know?

Victoria, my dear

do you know what happened when you met Steve?

It was what they call in America pick me up.

Really?

Well, it was sort of a planned coincidence.

- Angry? - Well, I ought to be.

But I can't make up my mind.

Let me know after the next number.

Sue, you better go change your complexion.

Right. See you after I kill the people.

Mm-hmm. She kills the people?

It's murder, Jack.

Now there's a mellow Georgia gent

uh, who can hardly, uh, pay his rent.

But all those hepcats called this gent..

A solid citizen of the Solid South

He's a trumpet-playin' fool

When he isn't playin' pool

He packs more kicks than an army mule

He's a solid citizen of the Solid South

At a ball he's the king of them all

He really reigns supreme

And oh my what a popular guy

When the moon is on the beam

It's amazin' how he clicks

With those snooty highbrow chicks

Those babes forget their etiquettes

And yell well shut my mouth

What a solid Citizen of the Solid South

I-I'm a mellow Georgia gent

I-I can't hardly pay my rent

But all the hepcats call this gent

A solid citizen of the Solid South

I-I'm a trumpet-playin' fool

When I ain't makin' with the pool

I got more kicks than an army mule

I'm a solid citizen of the Solid South

At a ball I'm the king of them all

I really reign supreme

And oh my I'm a popular guy

When that moon is really on the beam

It is amazin' how I clicks

With those snooty snooty highbrow chicks

Those gals forget their etiquette

They yell well shut my mouth and they did

I'm a solid citizen

Of the Solid South

- Make up your mind yet? - No.

Maybe you can while we're dancing.

Martin's never let me dance.

Let's see if Martin's wrong about dancing too.

I love dancing.

Well, we haven't even started yet.

Ah.

Hi, you cuddles.

Cuddles? Mm-hmm. Thank you.

How'd you like "Solid Citizen?"

Solid. It's a different from music.

Boy, is that singing hard on my feet.

Oh!

Hey, where is everybody?

Oh. They make a nice couple

but Steve's not the marrying kind.

Me neither. 40 years ago.

Then I met madame and bingo.

I have a wedding ring around my neck.

But I love it, you know.

Maybe your wife doesn't understand you.

- The trouble is, she does. - Oh.

A man with your charm and those continental manners..

...you should lead your own life.

Make all the decisions in your house.

For 40 years, I keep saying that to myself.

But o-only to myself and./.

You're sweet.

And I know you won't close our club.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

You really think I am sweet?

Oh, but, of course, I do.

I always wanted to meet a man like you.

I think we have company under the table.

But that's only me.

I always like to play toesies.

Don't you?

Yes, of course, I love it, but..

...married man I am.

Well, I'm almost a married woman.

And I'm almost a married man.

Excuse me, please, but your wife-to-be and me

we were just playing toesies.

Oh, you were, eh?

Who's winning?

Did I know what I wasn't doing?

Goodbye, please. I come back later when I'm alone.

Sheesh!

Sheesh. Sheesh.

I think Martin is wrong about dancing.

He's wrong about closing this club too.

So far I think he's been wrong about everything that's right.

What's this song they're playing?

Oh, a little thing Jeff and I whipped up.

Just what part did you whip up?

The lyrics. Want to hear them?

- Now? - Sure. Why not?

Just like we're alone.

You think I don't love you

Oh but I do

How can I show

That I do?

You think I don't get blue

Oh but I do

Oh I get light-hearted too

First I'm singing

Then I'm sighing

Then I'm flying

High above

You think I don't know why

Oh but I do

I know that it's you

I love

You think I don't know why

Oh but I do

I know that it's you

I

Love

'"Can you sing too? Steve."'

'That low fellow..'

...Jeff.

Hang on to that for a couple of hundred years.

It's bound to be worth something.

I'll get your coat, sugar.

Anytime you boys get tired signing autographs

let's get going to lamb chop's party.

Party? I love party.

This one's just for the cast, grandpops.

- Oh. - Wait a minute.

Uh, please, please, why, why not a party in my house, huh?

- Huh? - In-in my house.

M-my wife she's in Phillynilly, in Phillydilly, in..

My wife, she-she don't know in-in the cellar

cellar, 12 cases of champagne.

My wife don't know that either.

Well, I'd say we'll make a deal with you.

If we drink up all your champagne

can we keep our place open?

I don't know, my wife and my manager

have already been downtown making trouble.

But, please, I will try.

What are we waiting for?

- Come on, everybody. - I'll get the van.

'Steve, I wanna see you.'

Spelled backwards, that means it's you she wants.

May I?

Champagne? Is that better than beer?

You're not really going to Cassel's, are you?

Certainly. You know why I'm being nice to them.

Why don't you and Braden come along?

I'm going to lamb chop's party and I want you to come too.

Sorry, darling, but you forget one thing.

I don't like to take orders.

I do.

Well, that's what it tastes like.

Martin's been wrong about everything.

I think you're wrong even to mention his name.

And, um, that blond?

Elaine? She's harmless.

Women are never harmless.

It has something to do with, with being women.

Steve, do you think a girl should fall in love

before she gets married?

- I think it helps. - No, I mean with, with someone?

You better have a sandwich.

Steve, have you ever been in a boat on a lake in Milan?

Not in the last couple of days. Have you?

No. Grandfather says I should before I marry Martin.

I don't think a quick row across the lake..

Your grandfather said what?

Oh, he's not like most grandfathers.

Sometimes he's almost human.

Steve, we haven't a boat on a lake

but we have a, a balcony.

This Martin, is he a good pistol shot?

What, what cooks if I may ask?

Looks like there's a little romance on the fire.

I don't know how the guy does it.

For all I know is that Vicki is too young

and Steve is too experienced.

No, no, no, no.

Any granddaughter of her grandmother

can handle any man.

A little kiss, nobody died from it yet.

See?

Victoria Cassel, what is this?

Don't you know?

- I'm beginning to suspect. - Grandfather says..

What was grandfather saying?

Well, well, he liked it too.

Only with grandmother.

And this, uh, this Martin, would he approve?

You know, for a wolf, you keep asking the silliest questions.

In this deal, I've lost track of who is the wolf.

- What's the matter? - Look.

Two and a half? Why, that's outrageous.

- Grandmother and Martin. - Oh-oh, curfew.

'There's something wrong with your meter.'

'Listen, buddy, the meter's..'

- Grandpa! - Hold it! Hold everything!

What-what's happening? What's the matter?

Your ball and chain.

Grandmother and Martin are here.

Here they cannot be.

- Is this Phillynilly? - They're right outside.

Martin's arguing with the taxi driver about the fare.

- That's Martin, alright. - 'Come on, gang.'

- We gotta get out of here! - Get out of here.

Come on.

Hurry up, everybody.

- Grab all the glasses. - Backdoor, backdoor!

Let's all go to lamb chop's party.

Get, go-go through the backdoor!

'He could take it off his income tax.'

Goodbye, grandpa. Don't do anything I'd do.

Yes, I, I, I didn't do it.

- Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! - Holding, holding, holding.

Hold it. Sheesh.

- Hurry, grandfather. - Yes, yes.

Why, why did you invite the people?

But, grandfather, you invited them.

Don't tell that to your grandmother!

Sing, sing the.. Sing..

'I wonder why the lights are on in the living room?'

Sing, sing, sing, sing, sing, sing.

Why, why, grandmother.

Oh, Lucia!

What are doing home?

We couldn't get hotel accommodations in Philadelphia.

What's Vicki doing up so late? Her voice.

W-with you away, how can we sleep?

For Vicki's voice is not good to lie in bed with inso-mania.

- It keeps her awake. - Well, take my coat.

Yes, my darling.

What's that?

Looks like a champagne bottle.

Ladislaus, you know what your doctor said.

But one little bottle only.

With you away, my sweet, so lonesome I am.

One bottle? Why, here's a forest of them.

I, uh, I-I was just, uh, cellar cleaning.

What has been going on here?

Don't-don't ask me. You won't believe me.

I think this explains everything.

"The Bamboo Club.

To Vicki. May all your kids be, be hepcats."

Yes, we did go to the Bamboo Club.

And we met some wonderful people.

Yes, very wonderful.

And I had the best time

I've ever had in my life.

Yeah, me-me too.

Yes, I can see that you did.

What can you see.. Sheesh!

Victoria, five years I've given to your voice--

Oh, I know, Martin, how hard you worked

and I'm terribly sorry.

But you were wrong about, about smoke

and-and dancing and staying up late.

And maybe you were wrong about my getting married.

I'm not going to. At least not to you, anyway.

You! You canoodler!

Help me, please. Help me, someone!

I'm so sorry, madame.

Such an indignity! Such carelessness!

Everything happens to me.

Sheesh.

La la-la ree-ree-ree

Di la-la-ree

Di ra-ra-ree

La-ra-ree

La ra-raa

Oh, Inez, you'll never know how wonderful last night was.

- Surely. - What time is it?

Uh, 15 minutes after 9 o'clock.

Just three minutes later than the last time you asked me.

I can't understand it.

What troubles you, mi nina?

Music should be playing by now.

Oh, perhaps tonight they just start late.

Perhaps I better go find out.

Oh, oh, but your grandmother.

I don't think she'd like to go.

Oh, I don't like this.

- I love it. - But..

- Who is it? - Your grandfather is who.

- Grandfather? - Yes, I-I follow you.

I, I knew you were out here.

Grandfather, why is everything like this?

Perhaps they just stopped.

Yes, in time everything just stops, my dear.

Jeff!

Jeff, what's happened here?

Nothing. Everything's fine.

Just that we don't have to be bothered

by customers anymore, that's all.

Oh.

Hello, pops.

Then it was grandmother and Martin.

Yes, they see big shots in the city hall.

I tried to stop them.

But in 40 years, I learned your grandmother's nonstop.

Then I won't see Steve or any of you.

Why not? Of course, you can see me anytime.

Plus, I haven't had a date with some other girl.

- And she better be me. - Poor kid's crazy about me.

- Hello, Sue. - Hello.

I guess with you, we are in the duck house, no?

Oh, I know you did everything you could.

Then, then you're not mad?

Well, we're not, but right now Steve's got a hate-on

against all Cassels. Isn't that right, Jeff?

Ste.. Uh, uh..

Oh, oh, yeah. Oh, Steve.

Oh, and when Steve gets sore

he gets pretty mad.

You go on home, Vicki, and forget all about us.

Especially Steve.

Come, my darling, before your grandmother find us at home

and we are not there. Goodbye.

I am glad you meet me. Sheesh.

That poor little naive character sure works up over Steve.

Yeah. I can't understand it.

I mean, after all, he's just a man.

What do you think you are, you big lug?

Susan, can't you fight it off?

Jeff, you know Steve isn't the right fellow for her.

Well, that's what I thought.

Well, you take a lovable guy like me, I mean--

- Jeff. - Hmm.

Why do you always have to worry about getting some girl

when you know you can always get me?

Well, I wanna get some girl I can't get.

Oh.

'Sue. Ow! Ow!'

'Help!'

Who is it?

Me, sweeties. How are you, my darling?

I bring you warm milk and hot buns.

- Oh, grandfather. - Ooh, chu-chu-chu.

Here the warm milk cools you off.

I know what is eating your little heart outside in.

You can't know.

You've always had grandmother. I have no one.

- That's true. - She doesn't understand me.

She doesn't give me any freedom at all.

And she treats you the same way.

I know, I know. She tells me what I should eat

and what I shouldn't drink.

But all that she does because she loves me.

And I let her because I love her.

Forty years married, well, and..

...together we are something.

Separately, we wouldn't even be half of ourselves.

I never thought of you and grandmother exactly that way.

Since you mention it, I never did either.

Oh, my darling, don't you worry.

I make everything right for you.

Maybe something will happen.

Thank you, grandfather.

I think maybe you'll make it happen.

Sure, sure, I fix it.

It will be easy. It will be easy.

Phew.

Good morning. Am I late for rehearsal?

Just a little bit.

- Who are your friends? - Mr. Ross?

Oh, this is Mr. Ross at the piano.

Thank you very much.

- We come for the piano! - What?

Hey, can't you go back in about 16 bars? We're still using it.

Sorry, buddy, but we can use this piano ourselves.

Oh, you fellows song writers too?

Yeah, my latest number is

"You Didn't Keep Up With The Payment

So He's Takin' The Piano Away."

- Blues. - Push!

Sue, see if there's any money

out in that coffee pot, will you?

Why you two have to have an expensive apartment

I'll never know.

As long as we can't pay any rent

we might as well not pay it

on a place like this.

- Hey, that's it. - You got it?

- Yup. - Thank you, sir.

- Thank you. - Think nothin' of it.

Drop in anytime. Bring the piano with you.

- 'Sure will.' - Goodbye.

- Nice fellas. Gentlemen. - To the man aboard.

Now what? We gotta have a piano.

Do nothing till you hear from me.

- Hey, where'd you get that? - I always carry a spare.

Where'd you get the money for it?

Bought it on the piano they just took out.

- Genius. - Seeing our piano and pops.

Hello?

Who?

No, um, he doesn't live here.

You must have the wrong number.

He doesn't live here.

It's one whole week and still you can't find Steve!

Sheesh.

That voice! She was Sue.

I'll answer this wrong number.

- Hello? - 'Hello. Hello.'

- 'This is me.' - Hello, grandpops.

Steve, I, I must see you.

And, please, angry don't be at me

or at Vicki too.

I'm not angry, grandpops.

Where'd you get that idea?

So glad am I to hear that.

Practically, uh, now way we are.

Goodbye, Steve. Bye.

I, uh, I think I'll put this money away.

- I think I'll help her. - Not so fast.

What's the idea of you two pals telling Vicki I--

It was my idea. I like the girl.

- Well, maybe I like her too. - That's what I was afraid of.

You know you're not right for her.

- Is he? - Huh? Oh, no, no.

Oh, Steve, what-what she needs

is a more sincere type of wolf, like me.

We'll let her decide that when she gets here.

You! You!

You think I don't love you

Oh but I do

I know that it's you

I love

Oh, my darling, your new voice teacher

will make you forget all about

who you don't want to forget about.

Maestro, where are you two going?

I thought Vicki was going to rehearse?

I postponed it.

But she hasn't practiced for a whole week.

How do you expect her to be ready for her debut?

Oh, I will be. Grandfather just found a--

A-a new little shop with real Vienna strudel.

We come back after we buy the joint out. Come.

But, but, but strudel's bad for the figure.

Don't worry about my figure.

Well..

We don't have to stay long, do we, grandfather?

Oh, wait and see.

Met a gal in Calico

Down in Santa Fe

Grandfather, that sounds just like..

- Just like who it is. - Oh.

Till I rode away

Do I want her?

- Well, this is a surprise. - Hello.

- Strangers. - Look who is here.

I told you he wasn't sore at you.

Grandfather and I just had to tell you

how sorry we were about the club.

Oh, that's alright.

May turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

Yeah, we didn't have anything else to do

so we sat down and wrote a hit show.

- Then you're not angry? - Angry? No.

These two friends of mine were a little off the beam.

Well, maybe we really ought to thank you.

See, Elaine is working on her big gusher from Texas

trying to convince him he can really lose money

if he packs our show.

Well, look, how's about sharing our sandwiches

and beer to celebrate in advance?

Yeah, come on, grandpops. Sit down, huh?

Now you are cooking with gasoline.

Vicki, come here.

- Where are we going? - We have a balcony too.

She's gotta learn about the moon and the stars sometime

even if it is broad daylight.

Now we can pick up right where we left off.

- Where was that? - Don't you remember?

The night on my balcony.

When grandmother came home from Phillynilly.

Hello, did you get the money? I mean, uh, come in, come in.

Hello. Isn't it wonderful?

Lamb chop's going to back the show.

That's right. She said the more I put in, the more I could lose.

Just leave it to us. We'll take care of it.

Where's Steve? I wanna tell him.

Uh, Steve. Uh, oh, Steve Ross?

Oh, I, uh..

Say, did you hear my latest song?

You'll love it.

Oh

Oh Steve

Oh Steve Elaine is here

Up from Texas way--

Very cute. Of course, I'm here.

Of course, she said. But of course, you're here too.

Aren't you? How have you been, lamb chop?

Nice to see you.

Uh, nice to see you.

You know, you're the nicest singing teacher I ever had.

Now you stay on key.

- Pardon me. - Oh.

- Oh, that's alright. - Oh, hello, Elaine.

How's, uh, how's our sugar daddy?

Just a little goofier than usual.

You know, he gets the weirdest ideas.

- What's he dreamed up now? - This one will slay you.

- He wants to marry me. - That is weird.

I'll say. You must admit

you never thought up one like it.

And he's given me $100,000 wedding present in cash.

Hey, lamb chop, I got news for you.

Here's to the unblushing bride.

- You mean you're saying yes? - Why not?

Well, you've made me the happiest lamb chop

'in all of Texas.'

Congratulations. But what about the show?

Look, when lamby pie spends any money on a turkey

it will be for our Thanksgiving.

- Come on, lamby. - I hope you folks won't mind.

'Cause suckers like me grow on trees.

Yeah, but where do the trees grow?

- Well, happy days. - Keep smiling.

Smiling, she says.

Well, one man's marriage is another man's poison.

Well, does, does this mean

you won't be able to put on the show?

- Yeah, that's all. - That's all? That's enough.

You said it. No dough, no show.

Unlax, everybody.

The solution is solved.

I give you the money.

- What? - Grandfather, will you really?

And why should you help us?

Why, because it is my fault

the trouble you are in.

I bring Vicki here, Elaine blows up

your money for show goes up in smoke.

- This has gotta be a dream. - But three catches there are.

Uh-oh. Your dream is over.

One, the little matter of a double-jointed

bank account with my wife.

But that I unjoint easy.

Two, no publicity.

Oh, nobody will know.

Not even grandmother.

You mean, e-especially grandmother.

- And number three? - Is he was only kidding.

No, no, no. It is that I..

I have a young lady friend I want to play in the show.

Why, grandpops, you old rascal, you.

Uh, may-maybe not so old.

Her figure, she's like this.

And, oh, she can sing too.

Who, uh, who is this dame with the beautiful, uh, voice?

- Vicki, of course. - Vicki?

- Me? - She goes in, my money goes in.

- Well, Vicki can sing opera-- - Yeah, can she sell swing?

Can she straight up and fly right?

Can she, uh.. You know.

Not only can she can do that, but also can she do..

- Wup, wup. - Oh! Oh! Grandpops.

Here are some more things.

One more thing to go in is out.

Lucia, you are going away only for a month, not a year.

I must look my best, Ladislaus.

Not many retired artistes are invited

to sing at this Mexico City festival.

And to think they telegraphed me to fly there by airplane.

It was the only way.

I mean, darling, if you must fly

there's nothing like airplane.

That must be Martin now with the taxi.

He's always so prompt.

Mm-hmm, very, very, prompt, always. Yeah.

I still don't understand

why you need so many blank checks.

Oh, the-the-the checks?

Darling, just for my personal expenses.

You know, our double-headed bank account

it needs your signature as well.

- Of course. - Yes.

Well, goodbye, Ladislaus.

- Be a good boy. - I will try it, my darling.

By the way, don't make out those checks for too much.

Oh, no, no, no, ju-just for enough.

Because I keep only a few hundred dollars

in our checking account.

Bye-bye, Ladislaus.

Sheesh!

What do they do on a rainy night?

Here we

Are

What do they do when there is no starry sky?

- Very nice. - Looks great.

Now and the other room here..

- What's the matter? - Hello, grandpops.

I got a present for you. Here.

It's for the, uh..

'Sheesh!'

- Mr. Ross. - Yeah?

Here's some more bills.

Costumes, lights, sets, they're beginning to squawk.

I'll take care of them. Mr. Cassel will be here tonight.

Oh, fine.

We're accumulating quite a stack of bills.

Don't worry, grandfather'll take care of them. His credit's good.

The only thing is they're beginning to ask for cash

instead of credit.

Bills, bills, bills.

I'm the backer and all I got is a problem.

- Say, Mr. Cassel. - You will get paid.

Don't make.. Oh, Sue, excuse me.

Hello, Mr. Cassel. How are you?

Oh, Mr. Cavallaro.

How is my favorite piano player?

Why, fine. So you're just in time

to see our "Thousand Dreams" number.

Won't you have a seat?

"Thousand Dreams?" Couldn't it be only a hundred?

Sheesh.

Through a thousand dreams

My heart

Has looked for you

And now

My search has ended

You descended

From the blue

It seems

A thousand dreams

Have all

At once come true

And through

A thousand years

My heart

Will still love you

It seems

A thousand dreams

Have all

At once come true

And through

A thousand years

My heart

Will still love you

It seems

A thousand dreams

Have all

At once come true

And through a thousand years

My heart

Will still love

You

Wait-wait-wait a minute. H-how much cost this number?

- Well, uh-- - No, no, don't-don't tell me.

Don't, uh..

That makes a total outlay of about 30,000 so far.

So far, so bad. I-I mean, so good.

Oh, and I, I ordered the drapes for the finale too.

Drapes?

I think I go to bed now and count myself 30,000 black sheep.

- Goodnight. - Goodnight, grandfather.

Goodnight.

I guess the excitement's too much for grandpops.

Mm-hmm. I'm really worried about him.

He hasn't gained a pound in days.

Yeah, there's nothing to worry about.

The show's gonna be great.

Everything's gonna turn out swell.

Before an opening, it's always like this.

Sure. The show, great.

Everything swell.

Hit notices, your name in lights

lots of money.

So that you can marry Sue or Elaine or, or Jeff.

I don't think I'll be marrying Jeff.

Say, what's the matter?

'What's worrying you?'

Oh, not a thing.

Now what's all this nonsense about marriage?

Well, you'll be marrying somebody someday.

I'm not so sure.

After all, marriage is a very common thing.

- What? - Oh, I mean..

It's very ordinary.

Well, that is, most people do it.

Practically everybody in the world gets married.

How'd you ever come to that conclusion?

Well, they, they look married.

And what kind of a look is that?

Oh, happy.

I've seen some very sad husbands.

Most of them are happy.

Listen, marriage isn't everything that poets giveth.

And you're wrong about me. I'm a freelancer.

You're a good kid. You deserve the best.

I don't want the best. I want you.

Vicki, you're a little girl on a balcony

waiting for a gallant knight on a white charger

that will come and carry you off into the clouds.

Yes.

I never rode a horse in my life.

We're out of step, baby.

You're just lucky I haven't handed you my old line.

Lucky?

- Well, most girls-- - Yes?

- That is-- - Yes?

Well, usually they..

Usually they what?

Goodnight, Vicki.

Well, it was certainly nice of you to walk me home.

Oh, that's alright. Um..

You don't have to go in just yet, do you?

Well, it's rather late, don't you think?

Um, couldn't we sit down here for a little while?

Well, it's kind of chilly.

We could, uh, walk around the block.

Again?

Maybe, uh, you'd like this around your shoulders.

Oh, no, no. I, I'm fine.

Really, I'm..

I'm really fine.

Jeff.

Hm?

Hm?

Oh, nothing. I...just said...Jeff.

Why?

It's such a beautiful name.

Jeff?

And you're such a beautiful Jeff.

When you come out of one of those, you..

...you gotta come out slowly, Sue

otherwise you get the bends.

Oh.

- Goodnight, Jeff. - Yes, you certainly are.

Isn't it?

Don't tell my mother, will you?

- Hello, Jack. - Hello, Miss Winters.

- What's new? - Plenty.

- Is Steve around? - Yeah.

Just gettin' ready to go on.

Thanks, pal.

I wonder what a real cowboy would think of these outfits?

I wonder what a horse would think of it?

You two make me feel like I'm back in Texas.

Hello, Elaine.

I thought you were gettin' married.

I suddenly lost interest

after lamby pie put $100,000 in my bank account.

- Oh-ho, you're so sentimental. - Oh, thanks.

Could you use a new leading lady?

Thanks, we already have one.

Then maybe I could buy in as a backer.

- Yeah, that's not-- - No. We don't need any help.

- Thanks. - Uh..

No, no, stick around, anyway. to see the show.

I'll see you around the corral.

Alright, girls, on stage for the "Calico" number.

Come on, let's go. Dim 'em down.

Okay.

Met a gal in Calico

Down in Santa Fe

Used to be her Sunday beau

Till I rode away

Do I want her? Do I want her love?

Yes siree

Will I win her? Will I win her love?

Wait and see

Workin' with the rodeo

Go from town to town

See most every kind of gal

Every kind of gown

But who made my heart sing yippee-aye?

Yipee oh

My little gal in Calico

You can have your gals dressed in silk and satin

And also drape their shape with crepe de chine

Now you take your city gals that go around high-hat

Thinkin' they look swell in velveteen

When they're at the table

I'm not able to imagine how they look

I'm just a country boy Don't say that

And every country boy knows a fancy cover

Doesn't make a boo.. Ook

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Met a gal in Calico Uh-huh

Down in Santa Fe

Used to be her Sunday beau Uh-huh

Till I rode away You did that?

Do I want her? Do I want her love?

Yes siree

Will I win her? Will I win her love?

Wait and see

Workin' with the rodeo Bah-ha

Go from town to town To-to-to-to-to

See most every kind of gal

Every kind of gown

But who made my heart sing yippee-aye?

Yipee oh-oh-oh

My little gal in

Calico

But who made my heart sing

Yippee-aye Yippee-aye

Yippee oh Yippee oh

My little gal in Calico My little gal in Calico

Say, don't you think you're overdoing it a little bit?

- What do you mean? - For that pigeon, Vicki.

That kid's climbed up walls about you.

She's not my type. She's a nice girl.

Well, all I can say is, my idea sure worked out.

Remember back in the club, I said make the daughter

fall for you and our troubles are over?

- Yeah, that's right. - I gotta hand it to you, boy.

You're the real wolf after all.

Lay off that wolf gag, will you?

What did I say?

Come in.

- May I come in for a minute? - Yes.

Of course, grandfather.

Did you see the "Calico" number?

Yes, I saw it.

What's the matter? Didn't you like it?

Oh, I liked it fine.

And so would everybody, if anybody could see it.

What do you mean?

- The show, it won't open. - Won't open?

That's alrighty. It's because of the money I don't get.

Oh, but you must have some money.

Uh, some I got, but enough I don't got.

Everything I try. Hmm.

- What will we do? - Do?

We do nothing. We-we close.

Oh, but, but what about Steve?

I know, Vicki, it's my fault, I..

I should have crossed my bridges before I leaped.

Rich man I am, yet I have no money.

Come in.

Oh, Mr. Cassel. Hope I'm not interrupting anything.

No, no, no, come in, it is I who goes.

No, don't go, grandfather.

I just caught that number.

You may be pretty good in time.

- Thank you. - In time?

But time she doesn't have.

In fact, the last time was the last time.

I don't get it.

A long story it takes to tell it.

And financial matters, a woman does not ever understand.

I do, you're broke.

I don't think it concerns you, anyway, Miss Winters.

Oh, yes, it does. It concerns all of us.

And if Santa Claus here will excuse us

I'd like a private word with Angel Puss.

What did she say?

And if you're smart

you'll listen.

You better go, grandfather.

Yes, Miss Winters.

'"Grandfather and I have finally decided'

'"there is no merit in jazz'

"so I am dropping out of the show

"and going back to opera.

I hope this doesn't upset your plans. Vicki."

Upset our plans? It upsets my stomach.

I don't understand it at all. That doesn't sound like Vicki.

You try it this time. It can't be busy all day.

This whole thing must be a gag.

Yes, and very funny too.

Get your dialing finger ready. You're next.

- Is it ringing? - Yes.

Hello.

Hello, grandpops. I got him.

Oh, Steve, hello.

So nice it is to hear from you.

It's a lovely day outside, no?

Mm-hmm. Goodbye.

But, grandpops, uh..

Mr. Cassel, please, this is important.

Is-is Vicki there?

Vi-Vicki?

Vi.. Oh, you mean my granddaughter, Vicki.

W-wait, I-I-I go look.

Are you..

Are you hear?

No.

No. "She's not," she says.

Look, Steve, it is, it is no use.

M-my, my money I take back.

In opera, in concert, all my life I live.

In-in there I stay.

No, no, Steve. Jazz, jazz is out.

Goodbye.

Such a heartache, eh? For you, for Steve.

For me also.

And I called her a nice girl, not like the rest. Oh, no.

I'd like to get my hands on her with homicidal intentions.

If I never see her again, it'll be too much and too soon.

Oh, let's quit griping and get down to facts.

- What are we gonna do? - That's very simple.

Nothing.

Come in.

- Hello. - Hi.

I just dropped by to see if you changed your mind

about me doing your show.

If you want me, just whistle.

Hey!

- Good evening, Miss Winters. - Oh, Jeanie pie.

- You can take the night off. - Oh, thank you.

It was sweet of you to see me home

after that cold shoulder I got from Steve.

Well, he just doesn't appreciate a rich girl.

- Especially if she's wealthy. - You're telling me.

That's the reason I talked Vicki into quitting the show.

What do you mean you did?

Well, her grandpop was broke. So I made a deal.

She stepped out and I stepped in.

Gee, that sure is a break for us.

You know, Jeffrey

I never realized before how sweet you are.

I am. I mean, uh, am I?

Very. And I do hate to be alone.

Well, you're not alone when you're with me.

Honestly.

Mind if I slip into something more comfortable?

No, no, I-I like girls in, uh, slacks.

- I won't be long. - Don't hurry on my account.

Drinks are at the bar.

Did someone come in?

What do they do in Old Manhattan?

And Saint Athan you'll be right

Well that's what they do in Rio

On a rainy night

Well, I like that.

- Why don't you marry the girl? - What?

So you can get her off your mind.

What girl?

The little one with the grandfather.

And the lights in her eyes.

The one you're in love with.

Vicki? I hope I never see her again.

Oh, you've really got it bad.

And you know, Steve, there's not a thing you can do about it.

Either it wears itself out

or you go on the way I do about Jeff.

- You've no problem with Jeff. - No.

And right now, I imagine

Elaine has no problem with him either.

He's too sure of you, that's all.

What he needs is competition.

Competition.

Can I help it if I'm a one-man woman with a two-woman man?

It's simple. Make a play for someone else.

Watch him burn.

That's him now.

Here's what I mean.

Phew.

Boy, am I glad to be home.

What a timing, and I'm exhausted.

I walked all the way home.

Except for the first two blocks, which I ran.

What I need is a good hot cup of coffee.

Say, uh, you want some coffee too?

Oh, you!

You! You're impossible.

What's the matter? What did I do?

It's what you didn't do. You're a bigger heel than Vicki.

Vicki? Hey, that reminds me. You know what Elaine told me?

It was she that got Vicki to give us the air.

- What? - Yeah.

- What did you say? - Yeah, she just told me.

How do you like that?

Look, it all boils down to this.

We gotta get Vicki in the show

and Elaine out of it.

Only we gotta get Elaine's money in too.

Yeah, but how?

I gave you the idea, you figure it out.

Suppose we tell her that she's too good for the show?

Ah, she knows better than that.

Hey.

What does Elaine like better than anything else in the world?

- Herself. - No, sir, money.

Which is what we have the least of.

I got it. The fake..

- Telegram routine. - Telegram routine. Sure.

And..

- This is something. - Isn't it so?

Come in.

- Telegram for you, Elaine. - Open it and read it for me.

Okay. It's from your sugar bowl in Texas.

He says I still love you madly

and I still have the wedding license we didn't use.

That guy must be out of his mind.

Huh? Wait a minute. There's more. Listen.

"I also just brought in ten new gushers, all named Elaine.

"I have five million dollars more

I don't know what to do about."

Give me that telegram.

- Five million dollars? - Huh?

I'll show him what to do about them.

How you gonna do it?

Brother, this guy's heading for the last round-up

and I'm heading for Texas.

What about the show, Elaine?

You can't..

Sue! Steve! Where are ya?

- Come in. Come in. - Did you call?

You can't walk out on us, Elaine.

- I can, for five million bucks. - What's the trouble?

What's the matter? Is anything wrong?

As far as I'm concerned

everything is five million percent okay.

But, Elaine, you just can't walk out on us.

- It isn't, uh, croquet. - Really?

You weren't thinking of leaving us, were you?

We're about to open, Elaine.

We'd be sunk without you.

Why, you're a good trooper.

So I'll be a good trooper next season.

This season I'm going to clip sugar bowl and the coupons.

But, Elaine, you can't, you mustn't.

It will ruin us.

I guess it would be a pretty rotten trick.

- What? Oh, no. - What?

I'll find some way of stalling.

No, no, Elaine, you can't, you mustn't.

It will ruin.. I mean, you might, uh, lose that money.

You know, you can't take.. We gotta be big about this thing.

Yeah, yeah, we'll get some second-rate girl

and get her up in your numbers.

- Yeah. - No, no, you don't.

I'll just telephone lamby and tell him he'll have to wait.

- Telephone? - Oh!

I'll go put a call through right away.

Oh!

- You and your fake telegrams. - Well, I--

What happens when she talks to Texas? Then what?

Oh, I'll think of somethin'.

- I just thought of something. - Hmm?

- A fake telephone routine. - What?

She'll get the call. Only she won't.

A-are you sure you feel alright?

Now, listen, Sue, you'll be the operator, I'll be Braden

and, Steve, you can make with the sound effects.

We'll get the backstage phone from the office. Come on.

You've never been south of Brooklyn.

All you gotta do is remember to say you all.

I can do that.

Hey!

We better cancel that long-distance call Elaine made

before we get crossed up.

Yeah, yeah. How are you, sugar?

- You all, you all. Hm? - I feel fine.

No, no, I'm just practicing my Texas dialect.

That's the way I gotta talk over the phone..

Oh, Elaine, any luck on your call yet?

Should be coming through any minute.

Oh, that it will, that it will.

Hey, she's out there now. She's out there now.

I'll get the backstage phone booth.

Hello, honey, give me the backstage phone booth.

Here.

- Hello? - Hello.

Fort Worth, Texas, callin' Miss Elaine Winters.

She sounds like she's from South Tacoma.

She is.

Hello, this is Miss Winters.

Hold the wire, please, you all.

You're on, sugar bowl.

Hello you all, baby.

Why aren't you on your way to your sugar bowl?

I.. Y-y-your lamb chop, hm?

Why, lamby, your voice sounds so different.

Yeah, well, it's those new gushers, baby.

They keep comin' at odd times, makin' a lot of noise.

I think you can hear those new gushers.

Uh, just listen, maybe I can hold it up the phone here, here.

I can hear it just like I was there.

You hear it? One of the gushers just gushed in the office here.

I never saw so much oil.

That's wonderful.

Well, I love Johnny..

You just naturally gotta come down here

and help me spend some of this for..

Why, sure.

Better bring in another gusher, huh?

We're gonna start drillin', honey child.

I think you can hear it over the phone.

Listen, now we're drillin'.

Say, partner, Miss Elaine Winters around?

She expectin' ya?

No, she ain't.

I wanna surprise her.

Hear that? I think we're comin' in. Listen!

There she blows.

Another gusher just blew its top.

Oh, this is gettin' monotonous.

But, honey, the show's about to open

and it's impossible for me to come to..

- I'm using the.. - 'Are you listenin', baby?'

'Yes, siree, ma'am, just listen to them there oil wells'

singin' a song of my love for you all.

Hey, we're drillin' for another one now.

'Black gold, that's what it is, honey child.'

- 'Black gold.' - Just keep right on talkin'.

I'm beginning to weaken.

'Black gold, that's what it is..'

Why, sugar, what a coincidence.

Baby.

Honey, I was just this minute talking..

Uh, I mean, uh, thinking about you.

You know, sugar, I just have to ask you once more to marry me.

I just brought in 20 new gushers and I got 10 million dollars

I don't know what to do with.

Don't you worry lamby, I'll help you.

So you get on the first plane out of New York

come on down here to your lamb chop.

I think it's working. She's practically speechless.

Yes, so my little old heart, it just pants

for the sight of you, honey child.

Well, take a good look.

It's cute.

Honey child, you just, you..

- Very funny. - Yeah?

But the truth is pretty funny too.

It's ten million, not five.

And I'm leaving right now to start and join.

- You're quitting the show? - What about the money?

The show isn't paid for yet.

Hm, that's going to worry me terribly.

Wait a minute, you signed a contract.

If you walk out now, your name's gonna be mud around here.

Who cares? In Texas, it will be Mrs. Braden.

Yes, sir, and a Braden always honors a contract.

Now how much will you all take to give up my wife to me again?

- Did you say how much? - Ah, he did.

- Sit down, sit down, sit down. - He did.

How much did your whole show cost?

- Just right in your name. - We'll fill in the amount.

Don't let 'em clip you honey.

Clip me? I love it.

Just like me sheep makes me feel better.

Yeah!

Better get some rest, Vicki.

One more dress rehearsal

and then tomorrow night is the big night.

Everything worked out just right.

Yeah, just right. Look, look, Martin.

Well, I certainly never expected to see this.

We didn't exactly plan for you to see it.

And, and, madame, did, did, did madame return with you?

No, I came on ahead.

And I found out that you arranged

that whole trip for madame.

Now you forget, Vicki, you signed me as your manager

and our contract definitely states

that you cannot appear in any performance

of which I don't approve.

Martin, you wouldn't.

You step on the stage for the opening of this show

and, and it doesn't open.

I'll get an injunction.

A musical show. Rehearsals.

What this has done to your voice may take months to remedy.

It'll only take me five seconds to through you out of here.

- You can't intimidate me. - Oh, I can't?

Sheesh.

Wouldn't you know it.

A big chance comes along, John Law walks in..

Don't, don't get upset.

Grandpop's here cooks up something.

Tomorrow night, Vickie goes on and gives John Law the go by.

This guy Martin can close the show, can't he?

The show? Close the show?

With me, Ladislaus Cassel conducting?

- You? - You conducting?

You can't conduct a show without preparation.

No, no preparation.

You think I sit here all the time at the rehearsal

with my ears buttoned down.

Well, boys.

I will try to hold score from finish to start.

- Maestro. - Thank you.

Ready, gentleman.

You know, now, if we only had those two guys

Ribski and Korsicoff.

I-I just..

- Good evening, Simpkins. - Good evening, madam.

- Oh, uh, uh, wait for me. - Okay.

It is simply incredible, Martin.

I could hardly believe my ears

when you phoned me long distance.

It's the Belmore Theater.

I'll go and collect my process service now.

I'll attend to this end of it.

Will you, uh, will you be at the opening?

I'll be there, but the maestro will not.

Hurry up.

Lucia! What are you doing here?

I-I mean, how nice you are back.

I'm glad to be back, Ladislaus.

But what are you doing in that outfit so early?

Lui, my darling.

You haven't answered me.

Y-you, you mean this?

You know, I-I-I am tired.

I-I was just going to bed.

Good, I don't sleep with you, Lui.

Come, my darling.

I plan to retire early too.

Yes. You, you go to bed and sleep.

Maybe you should take five or six sleeping pills to be sure.

Five or six? I should say not.

Maybe you are right. Take three or four.

I shan't need any pills.

Alright, Lucia. I will take them.

Goodnight, my darling.

Goodnight, Ladislaus. Sleep well.

I will. You too.

'Lucia, Lucia, I am locked in.'

Luci, and while I take a shower

all my clothes has disappeared.

What's cooking up, Luc?

Make all the noise you want, my dear.

I've let the servants go for the evening.

Lucia, Luci.

Luci, Lu..

Hello. Hello?

Hello.

'Sheesh.'

The curtain's due in a half an hour.

- Did you get him? - Well, I phoned the house.

But no one answered. Something must have happened to him.

The minute that music starts, so will the process services.

Mr. Ross, this kid says he's got a note for you.

- What? - Grandfather. Where is it?

It says you'll give me another five bucks.

- Somebody give him $5. - Yeah, sure.

Uh, Steve, would you take care of it? I--

Here.

"I wrote this and threw it out the window.

"In the bedroom, your grandmother has me locked

"and all my clothes taken away.

"Do something quick or I won't be there tonight.

- Your loving grandfather." - Come on.

- But what can we do? - I don't know, but we'll do it.

I'll go out and tell funny stories till you get back.

No, listen. Tell 'em to play the overture 40 or 50 times.

- Do something. Do anything. - Anything?

- Anything. - Okay, anything.

- Kathy. - Yeah?

Uh.. No, never mind. I haven't time right now.

There should be some keys in the kitchen.

Look in the basket on the desk there.

They're not there.

They're gone. Grandmother thinks of everything.

Maybe we can break his door down.

You don't know the doors in this house.

- What's that? - 'Nobody but me.'

It's nobody but grandfather.

- Grandfather. - Get me out of here.

Come on, maestro, we gotta get to the theater.

Theater? Dressed like this?

Here, put on the butler's coat. That will be a start.

But what about trousers?

We'll take care of that at the theater. Come on.

Look.

How did he ever get here?

What do they do on a rainy night in Rio?

What do they do when there is no starry sky?

Where do they go when they can't go for a walk?

Do they stay home and talk

Or do they sit and sigh aye aye?

Where do they woo on a rainy night in Rio?

Where does a gay senorita say si si?

Maybe the girl wants a tender kiss

And yet how tender can you get

When you're beneath a wet palm tree

But what do they do in Mississippi

When skies are drippy?

And what do they do when it's murky

In Albuquerque?

And what do they do Tijuana

When they wanna snuggle tight?

Well that's what they do in Rio on a rainy night

And what do they do when it's rainy

In Pennsylvani

And what do they do when out in Boise

Or in New Jersey

And what do they do in Old Manhattan?

Answer that and you'll be right

Well that's what they do in Rio on a rainy night

That's what they do in Rio on a rainy night

Ah ah ah

Ah ah ah

Ah ah ah

What do they do on a rainy night in Rio?

What do they do when there is no starry sky?

Where do they go when they can't go for a walk?

Do they sit at home and talk

Or do they sit and sigh aye aye?

Assuming the girly and the fella

Have no umbrella

Assuming that they have no galoshes

No mackintoshes

Well then if it starts to pitter-patter

We haven't a choice in the matter

The weather outside is really frightening

And the boys are most afraid of lightning

In any time at all it's raining cats and dogs

Whatever they do

They do in Rio

Too

I'm going to serve this process before the next number.

Just a moment, Martin. I'll attend to this myself.

Through a thousand dreams

My heart

Has looked for you

And now

My search has ended

You descended from the..

Victoria, this order restrains you from appearing in this show.

If you do, you must be prepared to face the consequences.

Did you bring a restraining order for my husband too?

- Uh, no, madame. - How unfortunate.

He also is under your management

and is just as guilty as our granddaughter.

That's right, madame.

How would you feel, Martin, if Maestro Cassel

never again appeared under your management?

Which is what will happen if you serve those papers.

Here are your papers, Mr. Drew.

- Uh.. - Now serve them.

Victoria, you seemed a little nervous and constrained.

Let yourself go.

And you, Ladislaus

kindly remember, this is not Beethoven.

Swing it! Swing it!

Now, Victoria, the show must go on.

You think I don't love you

Oh but I do

How can I show

That I do?

You think I don't get blue

Oh but I do

Oh I get light-hearted too

Shh.

You think I don't know why

Oh but I do

I know that it's you

I love