All language subtitles for SITUATION HOPELESS BUT NOT SERIOUS

Yes, indeed.

Quite a show.

The idea being, of course, that whatever
goes up must come down.

Only trouble is, pilot Captain Hank
Wilson here hadn't actually planned to

drop down on the town of all time right
along with his bombs.

As he's about to do, minus his plane.

You see, back home in San Francisco,
he's very, very social.

Wouldn't dream of dropping in on anyone
without an ingrained invitation.

Hey, not so fast!

What a guy.

Name's Lucky Finder. He's Captain
Wilson's sergeant. Where he comes from,

a pair of sharp elbows is the only
invitation you need.

Odd couple, these two.

Not a thing in common, except an
interest in Rolls Royces.

Wilson owns one. And Finder, well, he
once got to repair one at the garage he

used to work at.

Oh, yes.

Here's their reception committee.

Air Frick.

Part-time air raid warden. Part-time odd
job man at all times only drugstore.

and part-time oddball.

His mother christened him Wilhelm, after
the late emperor.

Poor Wilhelm.

Nobody's ever called him by his name, or
anything else for that matter.

Fact is, nobody ever seems to notice
he's in this world.

Funny, because Frick's only dream in
life is to have a friend or two.

That's probably the reason why he adores
his uniform.

Makes him feel like a leader of men.

But even in his uniform...

Frick can't persuade a single solitary
soul to share the air raid shelter in

his cellar.

So once again, he enters his empty
house.

Empty, except for the one who is always
waiting for him.

He

wouldn't

know what to do without her.

or her astrological predictions, they've
both always been real big on horoscopes.

She's Aries.

He's a Capricorn.

Now, let's see if Mama was right about
Frick's horoscope for today.

You must take the initiative if your
heart is to gain the friendship it longs

for.

Difficulties will arise that make your
situation seem hopeless.

But it will not be serious if you make
the right decision.

Hmm.

Be prepared for an exciting change in
your life today.

Machen Sie den da.

In meinen Teller.

Locked? No, you are locked.

And I warn you, I have you surrounded.

You speak English.

I must say, sir, I'm bowled over.

What is so overbowling speaking English?

You all singly have no culture here?

My dear sir, quite the contrary.

You see, my great-great-grandmother was
German on her father's

side. What town was that you said she
came from?

Weisenheimer. Please?

Weisen. Heim.

Weisenheim on the Rhine. Ever been
there?

I think I have never heard of it. I
remember I bicycled through there one

summer as a boy.

Oh, boy. Those were the days.

Guten Abend.

Guten Nacht.

Mit Rosen bedacht.

Mit Neglein besteckt.

The general idea, though, anyway.

Reisenheim Amarai?

Right on the river.

Same voice, Captain.

Wilson.

Wilson is my name, and this is Sergeant
Finder.

I have enjoyed you.

And now, I must go.

Stop it.

I can't dance.

Help!

Please, sir.

Before you go, could you get me a
bandage or something?

You are wounded.

Watch it. Watch it. Easy.

I'll go bleeding all over the clean
floor here.

We're on friendly territory now.

By a miracle.

By a sure miracle. I'll tell you, when
that truckload of werewolves closed in

on us, well, we... Well, let's face it,
without you, the situation would have

been pretty hopeless.

But not serious.

No, not after your kind invitation.

You did, uh... You did say into... My
cellar, didn't you hear? Sorry, I didn't

catch the name.

Frick.

Wilhelm Frick.

Hi.

So, you admire our little shelter,
really, Captain?

It's out of this world, but that's all I
can say.

You certainly have thought of everything
here, Frick, haven't you?

I'm not. My mother has such a wonderful
instinct like hers you never met.

Before everybody, she knows what will
happen.

I even think she knew you were coming.

Well, that is extraordinary.

That is nothing. Everything she knows.
For example, long before Hitler decided,

long before the generals even, Mama
decided to have this war.

So...

When the baron on the hill died, she
bought from the castle all these

beautiful things, and she built it this
shelter.

She must be a remarkable woman. I'm
looking forward to meeting her.

Mama is dead since seven years.

No. I think we found a clue. I think
your friend does not take me very

serious. Oh, no, Herr Frick, of course
he does. But he makes a mistake.

A big mistake.

To make jokes just because I have not
gone to the police is stupid.

But I can do with you what I please.

I'll abide.

No, no, now, mister, the sergeant does
not mean any harm. His brain may be

permanently damaged, but that's all.

You see, I know him, and he likes you.

We both do.

Not many people under the circumstances
would extend themselves the way you have

for us. I think in Alfheim, after
today's poms, no people would extend for

you. Don't I know that? Could

I have another cup of coffee?

I'm looking for Austin.

I'm looking for

Austin.

Come on, quick.

Halton.

Entschuldigung, Herr Neuse.

Entschuldigung.

eyes have penetrated for the first time
into the heartland of Germany itself.

And now a word to our German listeners.

We

interrupt

with a special bulletin. It has now been
officially confirmed that the towns of

Aachen and Trier have capitulated.

The First and Third Armies continue to
advance along the entire front.

General Patton calls on the people of
Germany to stop the needless

slaughter...

under General Hodges and Patton, are
sweeping toward the Rhine River.

With little resistance, they took the
key towns of Saarlaten and Duren this

morning. By afternoon, they entered the
town of Altheim and are now pushing

beyond.

Hitler's once mighty right is crumbling.

as Krömmling.

Kaputt.

Alles kaputt.

But what's the mutt doing all day?

There's probably a reason why he's so
secretive. Little guys can be pretty big

rules, you know.

Are you kidding?

Not little Willie.

Never saw such a jelly job.

Takes more than jelly to hide out two
Americans for a whole month. Takes a

cut.

I'll tell you one thing.

I'm not going to rot away here until
Pretzelhead decides it's safe for us to

scram. You know what gets me?

What?

All right, now, the war is over, almost.

And in maybe two or three weeks, we'll
both be out of here and back in good old

sunny California. So what in hell is
eating you finally?

Hmm?

All right, let's say that you're back
in, what is it, Elm City?

Oak. Oak City, all right. Say that
you're back in Oak City. Now, what would

you be doing right this minute that's so
all-fired important?

Really, I'm serious. Now, it's...

It is now 5.30.

Right now, right this minute, I'd be
sitting in the old Mission Bar and

Grill, and I'd be defrosting the
coldest, driest martini you ever wet

your tonsils on.

Oh, what I wouldn't give to have one in
my hand right now.

The drums?

Would you lay off the drums, please?

Did I ever say anything to you about
sitting around like a zombie all day

because you've suddenly discovered art?

Well, I've discovered music.

Lucky, it's open.

It's open. The door is open.

How do you suppose that happened?

I'm not normally a thief.

Yeah, well, I'm not apologizing. See,
we're getting out and that's that.

Well, not quite. We would like to
explain, Chief. Explain what?

I can't stand bars?

Good.

But it is Christmas tomorrow.

I took your gun, Trick.

I'm going to ask you to step into the
cellar, Frick, and give me the keys.

Please. Please.

I'll just have to tie him up.

To tie up is stupid.

In one hour, my airborne colleagues will
meet me.

You will not get very far.

Just a little further than if you run
squawking to the police right now.

What do you think will happen to me if I
go to the police now?

After you are a whole month in my house.

You will have to wait, Missy.

Our guests are leaving us.

Please do sit down.

I think you have always liked my potato
soup, Sergeant.

It is dark.

You must anyway stay.

and sandwiches.

You will need them on the way.

That's damn decent of you, Frick.

I don't know how we can ever repay you,
Herr Frick. I wouldn't even begin to

know how to thank you, but maybe you'll
accept this.

I think you would like now, Captain, if
we discuss...

All the sideways and little shortenings
to Lake Constance.

Leave me here, Frick. We're not going to
forget you in a hurry.

What time is it?

The watch is in your left-hand pocket.

What happened?

Almost you have made me a traitor of my
fatherland.

What are you... What's this?

What?

Greg? Huh?

Oh, no.

No, what?

Why? Why? I thought we were... You were
being so cooperative.

You even gave us soup.

I feel horrible.

Do not worry.

My mother has every night taken these
powders. Not so many, perhaps.

But they are not hurtful.

Lucky.

Find her.

Here.

Good morning, Frick.

Jerk. Jerk. It's tomorrow afternoon. Our
good friend... Herr Frank has slipped us

a German Mickey.

Our Laos friend here stoked up the soup
while we were crying into it.

Well, that's where a decent, trusting
nature gets you.

Where? Look around. You'll find out.

You dirty, double-crossing rat.

You stinkin' Nazi!

I will not permit that you shall leave
here only so you can fly back over my

country with bombs.

Until the war is over, you will stay
here.

You may unlock the hand chain if you
wish.

Hey, come on.

What the hell?

Got nothing to lose but your chain.

Merry Christmas.

At 10 a.m. today, the 8th of May, 1945,

the world was filled with joy.

The long, bitter war in Europe was ended
at last.

In Berlin, in the presence of the Allied
commanders-in-chief, Field Marshal

Teitel signed the instrument of
unconditional surrender.

We now take you to Times Square where
tens of thousands of wildly jubilant New

Yorkers are jammed together to celebrate
victory.

Not very responsible of him.

Oh, what's eating you, Wilson?

War's almost over.

A couple of months, years.

What the hell? It's only time.

He's never late.

I get your point. Don't give me that
innocent routine.

Who, me?

Yeah, if you think it's funny to sit
around like some damn monument of repose

and make me look like a battling baboon,
go ahead.

Because I feel like...

deceive me, or is that a bottle I see
over there?

Well, this is an unexpected pleasure.
What's the occasion, maestro?

I'm with you.

Autumn? Fertish?

Take it easy, will you? We've got
precious cargo tonight.

To good news?

To all nice things who do not last.

Hey!

Mr. Dynamite, what... What we need
around here is more announcements.

What is this stuff?

Fish?

Fifteen years old.

France, Switzerland.

Ah, Switzerland, huh? Well, that's one
way of getting to Switzerland, huh?

Well, what gives, Fred?

You wanted to tell us something.

What?

I, uh, have a muck here.

If you please.

as host, huh?

Bottoms up.

Oh, thank you.

Now, about that announcement.

Your stew gets cold.

The stew's delicious.

What, a bash of garlic in it?

You'll remark this?

Yes, my great-great-grandmother swore by
it.

Eisenheim. Her daughter.

This is very funny.

I have looked it up.

There's no Eisenheim.

Well, goes to show you can't even trust
your own grandmother.

Knock it off, Wilson.

Can't pull the wool over old Frick's
eyes.

You Americans always make jokes.

so easy, for Sharon to learn is much
more serious.

Okay, tonight I will try the

American way.

Rockish?

at Donnan.

We're going to have a serious contest
sometime.

Tell you what I'm going to do.

When Patton hits town, you pick the
joints, and I'm going to take you on a

bender that'll leave this town stewed,
just smelling our breath.

What's the matter, pal?

Did I say something wrong?

Oh, come on, Vicki, old boy.

I thought this was strictly for laughs
tonight.

If I don't hit my son, you think I love?

A drink?

I take choice?

For what kind of a German do you hold
me?

If Americans come to my son, that is the
end for me.

I do not drink, Kiers. Come on, Frick,
he was just trying to be friendly.

Friendly? Hit him?

Hatter is so friendly.

Aren't you going to wish us pleasant
dreams, Ward?

Ah, we're in a doghouse.

You didn't even make the big
announcement.

You shall not longer live in a doghouse.

Something of nature.

And sunshine.

Did he say sunshine?

Sunshine is for health the most...

Are you watching the time?

I don't want to take more than eight
minutes today.

That's all I can say. Okay, so we got a
little pushback.

50 miles, top 70 miles in through here.

So they give us a little setback. Is
that any reason to drop dead for six

months and 23 days?

I figured something's fishy. I don't
know what.

But something's fishy.

How do we know that maniac's telling the
truth?

Yeah.

Maybe we won the war and he forgot to
tell us. How long can a war last?

You ever hear of the 30-year war?

What is that, a joke or something?

No, not at all.

Took place in the 17th century, right
here in Germany.

Yeah, I bet it did the goose-stuffing
morons.

And what about those big Russian
supermen, huh?

What's ailing them?

Half a year ago, they're practically
inside Berlin.

1,322.

English were just two miles outside of
Paris.

That was the beginning of the Hundred
Year War.

If I had your education, I'd kill
myself.

There's another one.

Please keep it to yourself.

It might appeal to you, though.

It's eternal.

It's the war between the sexes.

Look, Wilson.

I'm very nervous.

Do you want to blind me? That's
artillery fire.

Thunder, give me my glove back, will
you? You ever hear thunder before?

You ever hear anything in this
barricade?

We're showing this town.

Bud, you'll be coughing up plenty where
you're going.

worthwhile for you to occupy yourself.

I mean, and I lead the life I love.

With this, huh? What's wrong with these?

Something wrong with them, huh? Come on,
tell me. Something to be shamed of? He's

so sensitive. What? I'm not sensitive
because I don't think so, see? Because I

do real work with these hands. I think
with them.

Yeah, but maybe to a big intellectual of
some kind who... I don't know what the

hell you do. Fiddle around with biology.

Huh? Maybe, maybe a garage mechanic is
above.

I said dabble.

And it's not biology.

It's archaeology, Finder.

Oh, that's why you're so happy in this
hole, huh?

You're a rocker?

Just mind your own business and let me
alone, will you?

I'm busy.

What are you going to do with that
thing?

I'm going fishing. You mind?

No.

Not at all.

Enjoy yourself there, old buddy.

What is wrong with you? You cannot walk
like a straight person anymore,

Adeltraud.

Oh, yeah, make yourself comfortable.

Cigar? I do not, sir.

You would perhaps not mind to sell me
one more?

Help yourself.

It's on the house. Thank you.

Please.

Two bottles, five of mine.

Four dozen oranges.

Five pounds bacon. Five pounds coffee.

Ten pounds sugar.

Four boxes of oat flakes. So big as
possible.

Twenty boards chocolate.

If possible, some bird.

A canary.

I bet you have a frozen fry.

It will sing.

Hell no, I guarantee it won't. I think
this is all.

Looks like you got a lot of hungry
mouths to feed.

Oh, no. Only if I'm... Nice.

Well, what's this deal worth to you,
Alfred?

No soup.

I've seen more of them crummy garnets
around this cat town.

What is this, the Garnet Center?

These garnets is not crummy.

Hundred years, this necklace is in my
mother's family.

I'm not surprised.

Well, if you want to move it, you can
forget about the coffee, the vitamins

and the bacon, and you get your deal.

I forgot the deal.

But I think... She cannot pull the wool
over my ear. Now, wait a minute.

Randall speaking.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir.

sir, but I've got kind of been busy.

That is, a big shipment just came in,
sir.

Just get them there.

Not dinner time already.

Why don't you just drop dead, society
boy?

What's the matter, fella? Aren't they
biting? Now, ain't that just too

charming?

Bully for the charm school, boy!

named you lucky is a genius because
you're lucky i don't bash your brains in

come on why don't you try it

Illnesses my mother has made me do such
drills and marshes to build up the

strength. Is your mother a platoon
leader in the American Army?

She has never said so to me.

Then where did you pick up to the rear
of Hodge with an H?

God, who knows where one picks up?

It is possible I have heard this without
thinking someplace.

At the Kaiser Casino.

Sometimes I watch the American prisoners
exercising themselves.

Oh, that must be great fun.

Ever pull wings out of flies?

No? Well, you ought to try it sometime.
You'd get a big yuck out of that. Hey,

no need to be caustic. You're right.

Absolutely right. I'm a bad American.

You? Keep on goose-stepping with old
Will.

Also, Herr Oberfeldwebel Direktor.

I did not anymore need all those panzers
and planes on the Russian front.

It was possible to send them over here
against us. I mean the Americans.

And therefore, after much here and
there, we will break through.

The Americans? No, no, no, I'm sorry,
the Germans.

Through here and here and there.

Fast, not so fast.

That's Paris who just does it all.

Aye, sir.

This I did not wish.

But look here to Elsass, gentlemen.

Here, everything is fine.

For the Germans?

No, no, no, no. For the Americans.

You have recaptured Strasbourg.

It does not make you happy?

Ecstatically. What about the coast,
Calais? What's happening there?

That is not good.

For the Chinese?

The English. They wish to go home.

Also...

Regarding the fights in Egypt... Rick?

This orange comes from California.

Ninety. Yeah.

It says so right here.

Turn that crock grinder off, will you?

Off, off! Turn it off!

Well, I guess things.

But it's so remarkable.

Because it's a long way from California
to Altan.

There's a big war in between.

Couldn't possibly get here unless we're
bombing with oranges these days, huh?

Pretty funny, isn't it?

Well, come on, if it's so damn funny,
let us in on it.

I have not had a heart to tell you
before, but you have not bombed with

anything here since a long time.

What? What do you mean?

Why not?

I need so many questions.

Okay. Okay. One question at a time.

Where did you get this orange?

I have not asked this orange from very
close. I got it. Where?

Now listen, Frick. Frick!

Where are our planes?

How should I know where are your planes?
Here they are not.

Damn it, Frick. If our planes are not
operating here for some reason, don't be

delicate about telling us. They are not.

Well, how come? What's with our Air
Force?

Would you like some coffee?

Yeah, no, I want a straight answer.

You get so excited.

So good to get so excited. That is why I
have not told you. Okay, then tell me.

I'm not excited.

Where did you get these oranges?

Don't know.

Oranges, planes.

If they are coming here, if they are not
coming here, how should I know? This is

war. Yes, well, there are planes.

I am not a general. Where should they
come from?

Well, any damn place. England, Sicily,
North Africa, I don't know, Sioux City,

Paris.

No. No what?

Not Paris.

Paris.

I have hoped not to tell you.

You have no more.

You're lying.

If you speak so impolite, I cannot
discuss with you. Oh, well, for the love

of... Frank, what hope? Just have a
heart.

How about it, huh? Just once, be a
little normal.

Give us the agony in one piece.

Yeah, let's start with the oranges.

Where did you get them?

From Paris.

If you must know the truth, you are
rolled back everywhere.

All over. You are leaving Europe, every
place.

And everything you leave behind, we...

We leave everything.

Horse manure!

The same old Heil Heil horse manure.
Herr Goebbels dishes out to them. He's

dishing back to us. Well, I'll tell you
something that isn't all baloney.

You want to know about our planes?

I know. I think the captain here would
like. No, no, not what I'm going to tell

you.

Maybe our planes aren't coming over
right now for some reason I don't know

about. And I don't care.

Because when we do decide to send them
over, your whole creepy joy slide is

going to go flip like that so fast it's
going to make Herr Goebbels' head swim.

Why, we've got enough bombers in the
London area loaded.

You say something?

North London.

Right, why? Now, what's with London?

London is... Say that again?

Sicilian? North Africa?

Yes.

We heard you the first time.

Well, of this I have warned you,
Captain.

Since long, our secret weapons can go...
Knock it off, Rick. We know all about

your V2s.

oranges is stupid.

In Germany, we stamp on everything.

If you are born, if you die, if you go
to the bank, everything you are stamped,

but on paper, not on a flute.

Is there nothing I can do to make you
happy?

You can shut up.

The poor sergeant is such an American.

Americans cannot be happy without
freedom.

In Germany, we never had freedom.

Therefore, we have philosophy.

Yes, well, I'm afraid the sergeant isn't
in the mood right now to debate the

merits of the platonic concept.

Fix up the sergeant.

I have some fears.

I will roast ice goose with apples.

Yeah, only where to find goose is not so
easy these times. Maybe I will ask my

cousin in the country to hold his eyes
open for me.

You will see I will fix up the sergeant.
You mean that?

Everything I can do.

Then get me a day.

Lady. Pearl.

Who wants a brawl?

A real flesh and blood day.

Forget the blood.

Concentrate on the flesh.

Captain can have the goose.

I want a day.

And if I don't get one, I'm going to lie
on this lousy cot and rot until I stink

up this whole place with my stinking
body.

But I thought you are married, Sergeant
Finder.

Oh, no. Well, now, marriage is something
the sergeant is prepared to be

philosophical about.

Merry Christmas.

You old bong cat, what are you doing
crawling around the Daffy Dill Club?

I only wanted to find out. But perhaps
you can give me an advice. As an

American sergeant, what would be your
feelings about these dames?

You want to reconnoiter, General?

Moment.

Taking good care of my friend, Lizzie?

He don't need me. The general's got a
step all his own.

Feel better?

I feel hot.

You are too bundled up.

You ought to take your coat. No.

I hope not to stay here too long.

Why? Something wrong?

The sergeant was very kind, but honestly
said policy.

I did not come here to dance.

My fault. How wrong can you be?

See, anybody special there you want to
buy a drink for?

I have not much heart.

I would need a special understanding.

That is why you seem more interesting to
my purpose.

General.

I ain't got a compliment like that since
I played in the haystack.

As usually, mine's a stew.

But I do have a private office.

Tell me, what's on your mind?

I can.

Of course you can.

For all you see, I'm in a very
unusual...

I think not many peoples could
appreciate it. Try me. I catch on fast.

It is not such an everyday thing.

I bet you just think so.

I know.

It is very much complicated.

You don't have to be bashful with me,
General.

It is not for myself for which I am
bashful.

I am for another person bashful.

You just haven't met up with the right
party yet. That's all.

Sometimes a man likes to have an
acquaintanceship with a dame,

but he is prevented.

He cannot go around as much as he would
like.

Got a boring chain on the neck, this
fellow.

Not on the neck.

Foul, you see.

Let us say there is a man, as you have
said, that is such a chain.

And it makes this man much difficulty.

And let us say there is a second man
there.

Now you lost me. Oh, please not. I will
explain. They stay together always if

they have to.

They? Who are they?

The two men.

General, I'm not sure I like this. Oh,
you have not to care. This other man's a

very fine person. He is not interested.

Him I will get a goose.

Are we safe?

It is this other man which I was talking
to you about. I must tell you, he's

sometimes behaving a little rough.

But you will not have any troubles if
you do not talk.

to him. This is the most important not
to talk to him. Don't you worry. I won't

be talking to nobody.

All right.

Because he could ask of you some
peculiar things.

That's what I figured.

But only because he is sometimes
thinking the war is still on. It makes

him a little nervous.

Naturally. It doesn't make anybody
nervous.

You will see.

You will see.

There's nothing to be afraid of. Really.

I'll be there too.

the whole time.

I'm topped.

go.

Honey, this is my pal, my pal. Nice
knowing you. Just dropped by to invite

you to the wedding.

No help today.

Excuse.

He wants you to know he couldn't come to
work because he don't

feel too good.

Hello, can I help you?

No, Herr Frick isn't here today.

Mr. Frick couldn't get there.

He's got your goose, though.

Goose!

It's okay, Frick's got the goose.

I took him to this hospital in my Jeep.

Well, I heard him say it's his heart.

I gotta hang up.

Could you tell me where to deliver the
goose?

Wait a minute, ma'am. Hello?

Hello?

Ladies. Kings.

I tell you he fell down a manhole.

Nobody will ever find him. Yeah, I can
see it all now.

First he promises to rustle you off a
babe.

Then you get all steamed up.

Then he lets you freeze to death.

Well, he falls down a manhole, laughing
his head off.

If you don't mind, just figure out the
score. I know.

How do I stand?

Well, as of yesterday, you owe me $150

,327.40.

Play a hand of stud, double or nothing.

Hey, Wilson.

Wilson, he's back.

Very hungry.

Never mind that. Who's out there?

I was sick the whole time.

But now I am back.

But I must think.

Two Nazi cops.

Come on, let's blow.

I'll check in the back.

Okay, it's just those two out front.

Here.

All right, that shortcut past the
Walsberg ruins, you still think that's

the safest bet, huh?

The Walsberg.

Yeah, yeah.

Frick, this is it.

We're going to head for Lake Constance.

If Switzerland is still neutral now,
please don't spare us.

Is it?

Come on, Frick, any Nazis in
Switzerland?

How do I know?

Maybe. A few.

I hate these Nazis. You and me both.
Come on, let's go.

I so wish to say you a nice goodbye.

Goodbye.

There's one thing I forgot to mention.

It's too late now.

Maybe someday, though.

When the war's over.

They will kill somebody.

for sure.

Nobody in his right mind is going to
climb up here after us.

What was it he wanted?

Oh, he said to come on down. He won't do
anything to us. Just fill a spool of

lead, that's all.

You must

really think we're halfwits.

Says all he wants to do is put us into a
nice hospital. Oh, yeah, I've heard

about their hospitals.

Well, nobody's going to carve this baby
up alive.

A little here, a little there. It all
helps.

Garing's Jets.

Give my regards to Broadway.

That's what they think of us. Even the
brass.

Wait a minute. Just take it easy. Take
it easy. Wait a minute.

The Department of the Government in
Bonn. Hey, what's Bonn? It's a little

university town.

Announces that 28,000 German tourists
will invade Spain this year.

Some tourists have guns, will travel.

Well, goodbye, Spain.

Listen to this.

President Truman, in his Christmas
message from the White House, no more

Roosevelt, appeals for peace.

The president calls on all nations
behind the Iron Curtain and

asks that enslaving barriers be raised.

We're slaves.

The USA is behind some kind of a thing.

Iron curtain?

What the hell can that be?

Well, maybe some kind of wall like the
Chinese, you know. Maybe they've cut us

off of the wall or something.

Yeah.

How are we going to get over it?

Imagine that.

He has them chained up like a pair of
animals.

The guy's a monster.

Oh, maybe he was just trying to make
friends and influence people.

next boat to Switzerland.

We hope.

Hey, grab a couple of those oars, will
you? Otherwise... Are you steaming

Daddy's boat?

No.

No, we... I must have made some mistake
here in the dark.

You're not a very good liar, but I
couldn't care less about the boat.

Daddy has too many anyway.

He has too much of everything.

My name's Wanda.

What's yours?

may not share your generous view.

Of course he wouldn't. My father thinks
only about himself and making money.

He has no principles whatsoever.

Sorry to hear that.

That's why I have my escape room.

Upstairs.

Yes.

You both have something.

Very definitely.

Thank you.

Why, thank me.

Sexual attraction is purely chemical, I
think.

don't you?

I'm not thinking very clearly this
minute.

You see, we're sort of pressed for time.

Naturally. You're Americans, aren't you?

Yeah, actually, we're kind of mixed
breeds.

Right. His great-grandfather was German,
and I've got some Romanian blood in me

somewhere. Yes, I can see that.

You've got sad, gypsy eyes.

Why are you on the lam?

Why do you say that?

Well, don't be silly.

Camp Rhoda's practically next door.

You broke out of the stockade where they
keep the really tough prisoners.

I know all about that.

Well, don't look so scared.

I think it's marvelous.

I believe in social disintegration. Oh,
but it's really too dreary standing

around here.

Let's go into my room and have some
really weird fun.

Well, you're a charming girl, Wanda, but
we've got to be getting on. Maybe we'd

better take a breather. Huh, Wilhelm?

you just go on up and have a good time,
and I'll sit right here and rest my

weary bones.

Don't be jealous, Gypsy.

Everything comes to him who waits.

Yeah, but what about the boat now?

I'll have Fritz Carr on you over later
in the motorboat.

Who's he?

He's our driver.

He adores hard currency.

You made a good deal, Fritz.

The wife... is solid platinum.

Set me back $750.

And only I have to bring you across the
lake?

Nothing else?

If there's any trouble, there'll be a
little...

Drop the few bombs, like everybody else.

Sure. If I could get to a telephone, I
could manage $1,000.

Send them back to makeup.

International Airport in San Francisco,
the odyssey of the two captive

Californians, Captain Henry Wilson of
this city and Sergeant Louis Binder of

Oak City, finally came to an end. Hey,
that's you!

They both seemed a little on the daze,
but otherwise none the worse for their

long confinement.

And now to the home of steel magnet
Cyrus T. Wilson, where the reception for

Captain Wilson took place.

I got a headache.

Oh, he's real society, ain't he?

Why don't you get bottled up with you?

Yeah, what's so funny?

How come you weren't at the party?

Because I'm at home with my own family.

Yeah? Yeah.

Now, flick me another, will you?

Mr. Wilson, I've just seen you.

You look just like yourself.

Yeah.

So do you.

Frick's not the man to desert his
friend.

Captain Wilson is now the most
sought-after host in San Francisco.

No wonder. How many other guys can give
you first-hand information on how

Germany managed to win World War II?

Well, there is another.

Uncle Hank, watch it! Big Mouth is here!

Oh, boy!

But Sergeant Finder's version is very
definitely not in the romantic vein of

his captain.

As America's most seasoned underground
fighter, Finder's advice to future

recruits is, join the astronauts and
stay in space.

However, no historical survey is
complete without the point of view of

the enemy.

Now let me tell you the real story.

It was free.

Always and I think of those days I fall
into German.

I am the only one to tell this story.
You see, it all happened on this

particular day because Jupiter was in my
favor.