Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,011
I can't believe we lost again.
2
00:01:18,176 --> 00:01:21,112
Well, it's not your fault, honey.
You played great.
3
00:01:21,310 --> 00:01:23,178
You played great too, Mom.
4
00:01:23,343 --> 00:01:24,911
And you played a good game too.
5
00:01:25,076 --> 00:01:28,413
Gee, if we all played such a good game
I wonder why we lost.
6
00:01:35,076 --> 00:01:36,511
What are you looking at?
7
00:01:38,176 --> 00:01:40,912
Yeah, I know I made a few errors.
8
00:01:41,676 --> 00:01:45,046
For instance, one, two and three.
9
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:51,345
I just have a couple
of nagging injuries, that's all.
10
00:01:51,510 --> 00:01:54,579
I'll be fine for next week's game.
Trust me.
11
00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:58,379
I'm still in my prime.
Spasm! Help me!
12
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:02,412
Breathe through the pain, Dad.
13
00:02:02,576 --> 00:02:05,946
Breathe, breathe.
14
00:02:06,109 --> 00:02:07,944
Oh, yes.
15
00:02:13,576 --> 00:02:15,412
Oh, that's better.
16
00:02:15,576 --> 00:02:18,446
Okay, kids, why don't you take
the bats downstairs.
17
00:02:18,610 --> 00:02:22,113
Somewhere out of Daddy's reach.
You know, next to success.
18
00:02:25,276 --> 00:02:26,811
Honey, I asked them to leave...
19
00:02:26,976 --> 00:02:30,246
...because you know I don't like
insulting you in front of the children.
20
00:02:30,410 --> 00:02:33,413
It was embarrassing the way
you missed everything out there today.
21
00:02:33,576 --> 00:02:36,012
It was like you were in the bathroom.
22
00:02:37,376 --> 00:02:39,912
Peg, I told you. It's all injury-related.
23
00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:42,346
Believe me, when I heal
I'll be batting 400 again.
24
00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,078
In both cases.
25
00:02:45,310 --> 00:02:48,446
And I'll tell you something else.
It wasn't me who cost us that game.
26
00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:50,912
It was those stupid calls
by that stupid umpire.
27
00:02:51,077 --> 00:02:53,246
I really believe it was personal, Peg.
28
00:03:00,343 --> 00:03:01,678
You stink.
29
00:03:03,144 --> 00:03:05,546
It was so much fun calling you out.
30
00:03:05,843 --> 00:03:10,181
I know it was little compared
to the big "out" God called on you.
31
00:03:10,643 --> 00:03:14,380
But still, it was worth dressing up
like a Ninja Turtle.
32
00:03:15,177 --> 00:03:18,480
I'm glad you're happy, rooster bait.
33
00:03:19,144 --> 00:03:20,478
You're the reason we lost.
34
00:03:20,643 --> 00:03:22,578
Your bad 10-minute long call.
35
00:03:22,943 --> 00:03:26,981
Hey, a lot of fans feel
I add color to the game...
36
00:03:27,144 --> 00:03:30,847
...with my patented, "Strike!"
37
00:03:31,576 --> 00:03:35,380
Besides, it diverts attention from you.
38
00:03:35,544 --> 00:03:39,048
Slinking back to the dugout
after yet another mighty whiff.
39
00:03:41,644 --> 00:03:45,081
Marcie, Al's had a rough day.
40
00:03:45,511 --> 00:03:48,947
Why don't you just sit down here
and we'll talk about something else.
41
00:03:52,977 --> 00:03:55,980
You really stunk today, Al.
42
00:03:56,311 --> 00:03:59,647
You know, Al is so typical of a man
when he gets his age.
43
00:04:00,044 --> 00:04:02,079
In his head,
he thinks he's still young.
44
00:04:02,244 --> 00:04:03,578
But look at him.
45
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:09,215
Two hundred pounds of hairless,
mindless, aging monkey meat.
46
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:16,081
And, you know, that's just the part
oozing between the buttons.
47
00:04:17,878 --> 00:04:20,547
Oh, it's too bad some men
don't know how to give up...
48
00:04:20,878 --> 00:04:24,381
...their sports gracefully instead
of lingering on like big babies.
49
00:04:24,544 --> 00:04:27,047
Yeah, doggone it, if we could only
be comfortable...
50
00:04:27,210 --> 00:04:29,446
...with our age like you darn gals.
51
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:32,479
I mean, in the morning you go
in the bathroom...
52
00:04:32,644 --> 00:04:35,280
...a little blush, a little mascara.
And voilà!
53
00:04:35,444 --> 00:04:38,280
You got an old woman scared of rain.
54
00:04:41,577 --> 00:04:45,548
Then you try to clean and jerk
your breasts into a bra.
55
00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:51,382
Ease some exercise pants
over that front and back belly.
56
00:04:51,911 --> 00:04:55,281
And go down to the market
and flirt with the bag boy.
57
00:04:55,544 --> 00:04:57,246
I guess what I'm trying to say is:
58
00:04:57,411 --> 00:05:01,948
It's just pretty pathetic when we guys
try to cling to our youth.
59
00:05:02,278 --> 00:05:05,281
Well, I'll tell you something
about women you may not know.
60
00:05:05,444 --> 00:05:07,613
We always get even.
61
00:05:07,878 --> 00:05:10,480
So let's just take a look
at who's umpiring...
62
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,646
...next week's championship game.
63
00:05:13,145 --> 00:05:16,281
Well, geez Louise, it's me.
64
00:05:16,878 --> 00:05:20,615
It's a good thing for you
I'm big enough not to hold a grudge.
65
00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:24,580
I'm gonna go home
and practice for the game.
66
00:05:24,844 --> 00:05:26,846
"You're out."
67
00:05:27,011 --> 00:05:28,379
"You're out."
68
00:05:28,612 --> 00:05:32,349
"You, sir, stink.
And you're out."
69
00:05:32,512 --> 00:05:34,847
Out. Out.
70
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:37,947
Out!
71
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:46,480
Al, when you were talking
about women...
72
00:05:46,645 --> 00:05:49,281
...you didn't mean me, did you?
73
00:05:51,278 --> 00:05:53,514
I never do.
74
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,212
Thanks, honey.
75
00:05:56,378 --> 00:05:58,113
Well...
76
00:06:00,912 --> 00:06:03,081
...I'm gonna go upstairs now
and take a shower.
77
00:06:03,245 --> 00:06:06,648
What? After only three ballgames?
78
00:06:08,345 --> 00:06:11,348
Can't I take a shower
without there being a reason?
79
00:06:13,512 --> 00:06:16,515
And I don't want to hear any more
about me losing that game.
80
00:06:16,679 --> 00:06:19,014
People say I'm getting old.
I'm not getting old.
81
00:06:19,178 --> 00:06:21,547
I can still do everything I always did.
82
00:06:21,845 --> 00:06:24,348
God, how many more steps
are there?
83
00:06:27,046 --> 00:06:30,649
Well, we got the ice pack on his back,
heat pack on his neck...
84
00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:33,648
...and a six-pack down his throat.
85
00:06:34,412 --> 00:06:37,548
- So how is he?
- Sweaty, drunk and blue.
86
00:06:39,079 --> 00:06:42,182
Gee, just like the night we made you.
87
00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:56,516
Mrs. Bundy, Bundy children.
Is your husband here?
88
00:06:57,179 --> 00:07:00,215
No, I'm cooking feet for dinner.
89
00:07:00,745 --> 00:07:03,081
Of course he's home.
You want me to go call him?
90
00:07:03,246 --> 00:07:05,615
No, we've got something we want
to talk over with you.
91
00:07:05,912 --> 00:07:08,081
As you know, we still have
high hopes...
92
00:07:08,246 --> 00:07:10,581
...to win the league championship
next week.
93
00:07:10,912 --> 00:07:12,447
Don't worry,
Dad says he'll be ready.
94
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:16,082
Let's face facts, your father stinks.
95
00:07:16,346 --> 00:07:18,415
I say we should dump the old dog.
96
00:07:19,079 --> 00:07:21,281
Dump him? You can't.
97
00:07:21,446 --> 00:07:25,417
How about if we just move him
to first base and not throw to him?
98
00:07:30,146 --> 00:07:33,482
What the say "duh" kid
is trying to say...
99
00:07:33,646 --> 00:07:36,149
...is that you can't take
softball away from Daddy.
100
00:07:36,313 --> 00:07:39,482
Why don't you just lock him out
of his own bathroom while you're at it?
101
00:07:39,646 --> 00:07:42,282
That's it. Leave the man with nothing,
why don't you?
102
00:07:42,446 --> 00:07:44,181
Oh, now, now. Easy, dear.
103
00:07:44,346 --> 00:07:46,148
They can't get rid of your Dad.
104
00:07:46,313 --> 00:07:48,148
The championship game is next week...
105
00:07:48,313 --> 00:07:50,848
...and they cannot play
with one man short.
106
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:54,182
As luck would have it,
we happened on a replacement.
107
00:07:54,346 --> 00:07:56,081
We'd like you to meet Sven.
108
00:07:56,613 --> 00:07:58,915
Oh, Sven.
109
00:08:11,980 --> 00:08:15,317
He bats 380,
he's got a cannon for an arm...
110
00:08:15,479 --> 00:08:18,516
...and he runs like children
from your husband.
111
00:08:19,313 --> 00:08:24,217
Now, all those in favor
of dumping Bundy raise your hand.
112
00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:34,884
Gee, how did that get up there?
113
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:42,850
Mom, you're not really gonna
vote Dad out, are you?
114
00:08:45,180 --> 00:08:47,416
Honey, it's for the championship.
115
00:08:47,579 --> 00:08:51,083
It has nothing to do
with playing with Sven...
116
00:08:51,579 --> 00:08:55,583
...his tensed buttocks
in his tight uniform...
117
00:08:55,880 --> 00:09:01,118
...the autumn sun glinting
on his glistening, heaving pecks.
118
00:09:02,347 --> 00:09:06,551
Come on, everybody,
let's welcome Sven to the team.
119
00:09:09,547 --> 00:09:12,317
Nice game, baby.
120
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:15,617
What did you say, young Bundys?
We need your votes.
121
00:09:15,913 --> 00:09:19,050
According to team rules,
the vote has to be unanimous.
122
00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:22,350
It can be unanimous or out loud.
123
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,849
I don't care,
you're still not getting my vote.
124
00:09:28,047 --> 00:09:30,249
It's just like I wrote
in my fourth grade essay:
125
00:09:30,414 --> 00:09:33,350
"Daddy good. Sleepy now."
126
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:38,982
Yeah.
127
00:09:39,447 --> 00:09:40,948
We don't care about winning.
128
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,816
Now, that man loves the game
and we love that man.
129
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,583
Besides, if we voted against him,
he'd kick the living crap out of us.
130
00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:50,382
You know,
you'll have to forgive the kids.
131
00:09:50,547 --> 00:09:53,583
They still think of Al as their father.
132
00:09:55,247 --> 00:09:56,915
Hey! It's the team.
133
00:09:58,580 --> 00:10:01,383
Sorry, guys,
about that little slip-up this afternoon.
134
00:10:01,547 --> 00:10:05,351
But don't worry about me.
I'll be there for you next week.
135
00:10:05,947 --> 00:10:09,284
Who's the guy with the backpack
shaped like my wife?
136
00:10:16,881 --> 00:10:18,115
Your replacement.
137
00:10:18,281 --> 00:10:21,351
Oh, good. That way,
I can concentrate more on baseball.
138
00:10:25,914 --> 00:10:28,417
Watch that morning kiss, buddy.
139
00:10:29,847 --> 00:10:33,584
No, no, Al. We meant
your replacement on the team.
140
00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:35,215
How can we put this gently?
141
00:10:35,381 --> 00:10:37,417
- We think you stink.
- Yeah.
142
00:10:38,981 --> 00:10:40,916
Oh, stink, do I?
143
00:10:41,348 --> 00:10:43,984
Let me paint a picture for you.
144
00:10:44,148 --> 00:10:46,417
May 6th, 1982.
145
00:10:46,614 --> 00:10:49,083
New Market Mallers, 0 and 10.
146
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:54,919
But then, out of the shoe fields,
came a fresh-faced kid...
147
00:10:55,214 --> 00:10:58,484
...with fire in his eyes
and thunder in his bat.
148
00:10:58,881 --> 00:11:00,916
Enter the Bundy era.
149
00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:04,217
Let's remember some great moments
from the man whose jockstrap...
150
00:11:04,415 --> 00:11:07,151
...none of you are fit to carry.
151
00:11:07,981 --> 00:11:11,284
Or get within a 100 yards of.
152
00:11:12,981 --> 00:11:18,053
Remember with me if you will
June 9th, 1983.
153
00:11:18,214 --> 00:11:19,616
Game on the line.
154
00:11:20,014 --> 00:11:23,217
The opposing team drills one
into left field where you, Norris...
155
00:11:23,415 --> 00:11:25,016
...were standing frozen.
156
00:11:25,181 --> 00:11:27,383
Bundy sprints to the fence
and spears it.
157
00:11:27,548 --> 00:11:31,218
Mallers win and Bundy, MVP.
158
00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:34,484
Let us remember now
Bundy on the base paths.
159
00:11:34,848 --> 00:11:37,818
A little dribbler hit by you, Nessin.
160
00:11:37,982 --> 00:11:39,984
Bundy, needing to score
to win the game...
161
00:11:40,148 --> 00:11:42,884
...lowered his head into the toughest
catcher in the game...
162
00:11:43,049 --> 00:11:45,184
...and took out Mrs. Shephouse.
163
00:11:49,315 --> 00:11:52,184
Separating her shoulder
and ending her career.
164
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:57,452
Mallers win.
And Bundy, once again...
165
00:11:57,615 --> 00:12:00,251
...MVP.
166
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,851
You still want to bench me?
167
00:12:07,249 --> 00:12:09,518
Yeah, you stink.
168
00:12:09,882 --> 00:12:11,083
Well, you can't!
169
00:12:11,249 --> 00:12:14,285
I know you need a unanimous vote
to get me out of next week's game.
170
00:12:14,481 --> 00:12:18,285
And I happen to know that my family
wouldn't do that to their old man.
171
00:12:18,848 --> 00:12:21,418
Best your vote could have been was:
172
00:12:22,115 --> 00:12:23,784
Six to three.
173
00:12:23,982 --> 00:12:25,450
Seven to two.
174
00:12:25,615 --> 00:12:27,984
Why, Peg?
175
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:31,384
Well, it was for the good of the team.
176
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:38,485
Al, you gotta feel this.
177
00:12:40,082 --> 00:12:42,351
I'm gonna call
for one more vote, Bundy.
178
00:12:42,516 --> 00:12:46,253
You can call your son home
from ballet school for all I care.
179
00:12:47,282 --> 00:12:49,451
I know I have the votes
of my children.
180
00:12:49,616 --> 00:12:53,019
All right. I don't want to sway you.
181
00:12:53,182 --> 00:12:56,085
But don't you youngsters
want to win...
182
00:12:56,249 --> 00:12:59,485
...the first championship
in Mallers's history?
183
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:02,484
Well, not if it's gonna hurt my daddy.
184
00:13:02,848 --> 00:13:05,818
Well, what about free lunches
at my restaurant?
185
00:13:06,549 --> 00:13:09,252
Can we see a menu first?
186
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:10,850
Wait a minute.
187
00:13:11,049 --> 00:13:13,117
Now, kids, before we vote.
188
00:13:13,316 --> 00:13:17,620
May I share a little rhyme I learned
when I was both your ages?
189
00:13:19,449 --> 00:13:23,253
"D" is for the many pies I made you
190
00:13:24,316 --> 00:13:28,053
"A" is for the apple in my eye
191
00:13:30,182 --> 00:13:34,153
"D" is for the dish you ate the pie in
192
00:13:35,115 --> 00:13:38,319
"D" is for the apple of my eye.
193
00:13:39,349 --> 00:13:41,851
"Y"? Because I love you
194
00:13:45,083 --> 00:13:48,053
Put them all together
They spell "Daddy"
195
00:13:51,347 --> 00:13:54,550
I'm sorry, you can
take your vote now.
196
00:13:55,183 --> 00:13:57,419
And starting for Al Bundy:
197
00:13:57,582 --> 00:14:00,419
Sven Hunkstrom.
198
00:14:01,649 --> 00:14:04,819
Oh, come on, honey. Don't be bitter.
199
00:14:04,983 --> 00:14:07,085
You can still be
of some use to the team.
200
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:10,119
Well, a few of us
would like ice cream.
201
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:14,086
Well, excuse me, Mr. Longface.
202
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:17,353
Oh, don't you know we did this
because we care about you?
203
00:14:17,516 --> 00:14:18,884
Oh, really?
204
00:14:19,050 --> 00:14:22,019
You know what really hurts, Peg?
It's that you didn't bother--
205
00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:24,818
Sven's up.
206
00:15:20,183 --> 00:15:23,486
Okay, bases are loaded
and we've only got one out.
207
00:15:23,817 --> 00:15:25,919
Bud, you're up.
208
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,886
Wish me luck, Dad.
209
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:34,253
Is that good enough luck for you?
210
00:15:46,817 --> 00:15:48,419
Going...
211
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,385
It's going...
212
00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:53,619
Caught on the warning track.
Tough luck.
213
00:15:53,917 --> 00:15:55,986
Way to let the team down.
214
00:15:57,251 --> 00:16:00,120
He's out!
215
00:16:04,017 --> 00:16:06,053
What do we do now?
216
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:10,155
We have to have someone to bat
for him and we've only one player left.
217
00:16:17,184 --> 00:16:20,554
Excuse me, Mrs. Bundy?
218
00:16:21,551 --> 00:16:25,021
Oh, yeah. This'll be real easy.
219
00:16:27,117 --> 00:16:28,352
Al.
220
00:16:29,551 --> 00:16:31,520
Honey.
221
00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:36,554
Would you go up there and bat?
The guys would really like it a lot.
222
00:16:36,850 --> 00:16:38,352
Really?
223
00:16:39,117 --> 00:16:42,554
Gee, does everyone want me?
I mean, even my family?
224
00:16:42,884 --> 00:16:45,353
I mean, I'm old and I stink.
225
00:16:45,884 --> 00:16:48,820
What's it gonna take
to get you to go hit?
226
00:17:01,518 --> 00:17:05,121
"D" is for the many pies you made us
227
00:17:05,318 --> 00:17:08,187
"A" is for the apple in his eye
228
00:17:08,584 --> 00:17:11,521
"D" is for the dish
You made the pie in
229
00:17:11,851 --> 00:17:14,287
"D" is for the apple in his eye
230
00:17:14,451 --> 00:17:17,120
"Y"? Because we love you
231
00:17:17,318 --> 00:17:20,421
Put them all together
They spell--
232
00:17:20,584 --> 00:17:22,853
Make me feel it.
233
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:27,354
"Daddy"
234
00:17:36,018 --> 00:17:37,453
Hat.
235
00:17:40,851 --> 00:17:42,820
Thunder rod.
236
00:17:45,818 --> 00:17:50,589
Batting for Sven Hunkstrom,
Al Bundy.
237
00:17:54,319 --> 00:17:57,088
You know he's gonna strike out.
238
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:17,521
Strike!
239
00:18:17,885 --> 00:18:19,153
What's he doing?
240
00:18:19,319 --> 00:18:22,388
Framing his greatest failure.
241
00:18:27,419 --> 00:18:29,254
Strike two.
242
00:18:30,185 --> 00:18:32,187
Come on, kids.
Daddy can get a ride home...
243
00:18:32,385 --> 00:18:34,954
...on the shoulders
of the opposing team.
244
00:18:35,118 --> 00:18:36,353
Come on, Bundy!
245
00:18:36,519 --> 00:18:38,321
- Come on, Bundy!
- Go, Bundy!
246
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,087
Come on!
247
00:18:40,951 --> 00:18:42,320
You can do it!
248
00:18:54,185 --> 00:18:55,420
Come on, Bundy!
249
00:18:59,886 --> 00:19:01,587
- Yeah!
- It's going!
250
00:19:01,952 --> 00:19:03,254
It's going!
251
00:19:06,352 --> 00:19:08,220
It's gone!
252
00:19:16,986 --> 00:19:19,322
You know we're never
gonna hear the end of this one.
253
00:19:19,485 --> 00:19:21,054
Gee, how can you tell?
254
00:19:21,219 --> 00:19:25,090
The way he's making fire engine noises
as he rounds the bases?
255
00:19:25,886 --> 00:19:30,023
Well, look closely, kids.
Something you may never see again.
256
00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:34,157
Behold, a shoe salesman in triumph.
257
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:40,555
All right, Dad.
258
00:19:43,819 --> 00:19:46,822
Cross the plate, Bundy.
Cross the plate!
259
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,354
In due time.
260
00:19:49,086 --> 00:19:50,454
Microphone, please.
261
00:19:58,086 --> 00:20:00,355
Before I cross home plate...
262
00:20:01,219 --> 00:20:05,490
...and bring home the first ever
championship to the Mallers...
263
00:20:05,852 --> 00:20:08,188
...I would just like to say that...
264
00:20:08,486 --> 00:20:12,157
...today, today, today, today...
265
00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:14,088
...I consider you, you, you...
266
00:20:14,253 --> 00:20:19,458
...the luckiest team
on the face of the earth, earth, earth.
267
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,188
And in closing, I'd like to say...
268
00:20:22,353 --> 00:20:24,188
...I hate you all.
269
00:20:25,253 --> 00:20:27,322
I thank no one but myself.
270
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:31,856
As of today I, Al Bundy...
271
00:20:32,586 --> 00:20:34,822
...am finished with baseball.
272
00:20:39,253 --> 00:20:43,490
M...V...P!
273
00:21:21,254 --> 00:21:23,122
- Hey, kid, how you doing?
- All right.
274
00:21:23,287 --> 00:21:25,156
All right.
275
00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:29,390
Boy, that center fielder's gonna
get burned playing that shallow.
276
00:21:41,087 --> 00:21:43,156
Who is that guy?
277
00:21:43,521 --> 00:21:44,822
I think it's him.
278
00:21:45,020 --> 00:21:46,221
Who's "him"?
279
00:21:46,387 --> 00:21:49,223
Al Bundy.
Did you ever see him play?
280
00:21:49,387 --> 00:21:51,823
I only heard about him.
281
00:21:52,321 --> 00:21:54,623
I saw him play.
282
00:21:56,154 --> 00:21:57,889
He was the best.
283
00:21:58,254 --> 00:22:02,191
Ran, threw, sold shoes.
284
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:04,156
He was the best.
285
00:22:04,887 --> 00:22:06,889
Is that him?
286
00:22:17,187 --> 00:22:19,389
Nah, that's not him.
287
00:22:20,621 --> 00:22:23,190
He said he'd had enough of the game.
21608
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.