Original subtitles

Thank you.

I need to get a message out.

I know too much. They're not going to let us leave.

I'm sending for help.

Everything is going to be okay, my little tree.

I promise.

Thank you.

Someday the truth will be known.

Have you gotten into a catapult hoping to be gently and sensibly flown to a

destination of your choosing, only to be violently piledrived and face-burst into

the ground?

Have you ever sat a big stack of TNT on the road, hoping to blow up your

nemesis, but when you press the detonator, the detonator itself

explodes?

Have you ever pulled the ripcord of your parachute and only a bunch of silverware

comes out?

It's not your fault.

There's probably someone to blame.

We'll be your voice.

Avery. June.

Maltese. Justice.

Super Tuesdays.

Hey,

record ball snack.

I can probably get you 250 bucks for that.

See you next week.

Thank you for calling Avery Jones and Maltese.

If you've been hit by an anvil, press 1. If you've been electrocuted, press 2. If

you've been crushed by a fallen piano, press 3.

Good morning. It's almost 3.

Good morning, Dottie. Not now.

Do they have the paperwork too bad? Again?

Sleeping that suit again? Good.

I have a thing for you.

Hi. I have found some catastrophic fires coincidentally all near match factories,

and I really think it's a great opportunity to help a lot of people with

one thing.

How long is this internship again?

Uh, three more months. Just enough time to dig in and make a difference.

You know, you really remind me of when I was fresh out of law school, and I mean

that in the worst possible way. And I don't take that as a compliment. Oh, no,

look.

I'm going to do you a favor, because you're my niece, and I want you to have

a happy life.

Stop.

At Oxford... I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing that phrase a lot.

At Oxford, they really stress the importance of the law on everyday lives,

and all you're really having to do right now is brainstorm ideas for your

billboards. Yeah, you're new here. You don't know that this biopic goes right

over here.

And that, my friend, is freedom.

I really want to pick it up.

No, no, no, no, no. And I really want to file it alphabetically. No, you will

not, please. You've got a new client in the conference room. He seems unhinged.

Good luck.

Mr. Coyote?

Coyote?

Coyote. All right, well, uh...

How can I help you?

Oh, one of my billboards.

Cost a lot of money to put those up. So you've been an actor?

Do you not talk?

Oh, but you have signs.

I don't understand.

All right.

Here's a beer.

And who's that?

Not

entirely

necessary to do all that, but okay.

So it seems like we're talking about some faulty rocket skates that...

Backfired when you're trying to capture a bird that you have some sort of third

in history with?

So, uh, do you have the rocket skates?

Okay, great. So, we're going to write in your name as the plaintiff. Then we'll

say we're asking for, uh, I don't know, $300.

And here, we'll write in the name of the company that made the skates, let me

guess.

Acme. But they're great to deal with for little stuff like this. We just drop

your skates in a box.

You're the richest coyote in the country. All I need is a signature. Or

you just want to lick it, that's probably fine too.

Wait, Mr. Coyote? Hey, somebody grab that guy.

Mr. Coyote, look, I just need you to...

But Acme's tabler?

Yes, that is how tablers work.

Okay, I get it. There are problems with Acme's cartoon products. I see it all

the time.

I'm surprised. Acme makes my phone and my car. Why would they also make this?

You know, these kids are really stuck for cartoons, you know? What's the worst

that could really happen? They see some birds whipping around their heads?

Well, doesn't seem that believing.

Hey, this is a run-of-the-mill $300 Rocketscape case. Trust me.

Then doesn't that mean that's a pile of $300 cases?

Hey, yeah, come on.

Do you know what would happen if we submitted all this stuff as evidence

together? We'd have a giant lawsuit on our hands.

That would be amazing.

And if you could prove a causal connection, then really the sky's the

limit. The sky is not the limit. All right, the limit is like...

Right here.

We don't do massive cases. We do quick and easy.

Huh.

Where'd all the stuff go?

So, Mr. Coyote, my professional opinion is that this case is worth, you know, a

few hundred dollars, and I can see if they'll replace the rockets case.

So I'm going to need you to, uh, sign this.

Rude. All right, well, it was nice meeting you.

Do you mind putting the evidence box into the system?

Here you go.

Into evidence, please.

All right. What have we got here?

Cartoon products cases go down to the basement.

Governor, he's threatening.

They're taking him out to blackmail.

The law's completely on our side here.

Because we wrote the law.

Yeah, okay.

Great to catch up.

Maybe he's trading away on the platform for cake. Oh, it's done.

Let's just say his next vacation will be in prison, but I got something else.

Cartoon kids? Yeah,

I think you need to see this one.

They're suing us for every Acme cartoon product.

Oh.

Pay me the money you owe me, or I'll sue you for breach of contract.

Okay, I gotta go. I'll call you later, Mom.

Well, well, well.

It isn't our resident hotshot.

What does that mean?

Serving Acme for every one of their cartoon products?

Yeah, right.

Do I look like the guy who would take on the biggest corporation in the world?

You are looking at the guy who is taking on the biggest corporation in the world.

Channel 4 News has just learned that papers were filed today against the Acme

Corporation. Buddy Crane, Acme's chief legal counsel, declined to comment.

How did this happen?

It's okay. It's okay. It's exciting. All eyes on you, baby. Show them what you

got. Paige, when we sue Acme for some little thing, nobody even notices.

We're a tiny item on the bridge.

But this?

This went to Buddy Crane. Who?

Buddy Crane.

He's really like the best lawyer in the country.

Okay. We're in law school together, and he is a total machine.

Built like an arm.

Mines sharp as a tack.

Scrims his fingernails with a switchblade.

You know, I once saw him eat a lobster. Did I eat lobster? While it was still

alive. I'm not even sure that's legal.

What could I have possibly done to deserve all this?

to piss off a witch? No, no.

We could.

Then how did this happen?

I just dived up everything that was in that thing.

And I just walked off inside.

I've just been working on a story game.

I've been on hold for two hours trying to win tickets to the country jubilee.

idea what you've done.

You have put me in such a horrible position.

Hi!

This is my old friend, Timmy. Yeah, it's been a while.

Look at you, shaking things up. Well, not intentionally shaking, really. I

think we should have a face-to-face, don't you? Your face and my face?

Okay. From

its

humble roots as a cartoon animal factory, Acme has become America's

greatest success story.

Acme, I say, Acme is an innovation factory. We create the impossible. With

each new product, we revolutionize industry and the world.

We're a company of family values that values its family of companies.

That's me.

Hey,

hey. I don't know what you're doing, but I need you to listen to me very

carefully. Stop.

You're going to follow my lead, right? We're going to tell you this is all just

a big misunderstanding, and we're looking to get this settled as quickly

as possible.

For the rest of our lives, we will not get made explosive.

Got it?

Mr. Abrams.

Phil Pelicano.

And Mr.

Coyote. Oh, I'll take it to Buddy.

So I hear you guys were friends from back in the day, huh?

Guess you could say that if you were incorrect.

And look at this guy going closing out to him.

Hey, Buddy.

Look who's here.

Yeah.

This is Mr.

Billboard. How you been, man?

Yeah, very good.

Those are the days, aren't they? Yeah. Harvard Law.

You look... good.

Thank you. Have a seat.

Okay. I gotta say, I wasn't a bit surprised to hear a name on a case of

this size.

Me too.

I mean, I'm so sorry about all that. It was just a big misunderstanding.

Well, we got a really busy day around here.

I hate to keep you from getting back to whatever it is you do.

Yeah. A lot of stuff, too.

Yeah. Yeah, sure.

Oh, my God.

And this seems obvious, but I have to say that acting denies all charges.

There's no liability or causal connection between Mr.

Coyote's colorful injuries and our failure to life-enhancing family rots.

Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. And, you know, much funnier than it would be to

get back in a courtroom with you.

Well, look, thank you so much, and I'm so sorry for picking up all your time.

It was unintentional.

Uh... No, no, he didn't mean that. Do you have another copy?

It's a joke? No, no, it's not funny.

Cartoons are supposed to be funny.

Yeah, you want to play the game? Your time forms a match.

Well, time and legal do both very good paperwork.

I'll put a dozen in my bed for it. That's 24 hours a day to make sure your

name is more synonymous with failure than it already is.

Oh, and I almost forgot.

We don't validate parking.

Do you know what you can do with $50,000?

Do you have any idea how many birds you can buy with that?

You know what? Not that it really matters, but I know. Yeah, that's right.

I'll quit, man.

Go find another lawyer. This is already my personal freaking nightmare.

And I'm not sitting around with you to get any work done.

Sorry.

By the finger.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why didn't you settle?

That's what we do here. We settle.

Dottie, what do we do here?

We settle.

Okay, I tried to settle, but he wouldn't let me settle. He's a coyote.

We're not even trial lawyers.

I have a miniature golf tournament this weekend, so I don't even know if I'm

going to make it in on Monday.

Plus, trial press has photocopies in this academy.

But if we beat ACME, then we can record a ton of photocopies. We won't beat

ACME. Nobody ever has.

And nobody ever will.

The truth is, even if you quit right now, the firm is already in the whole

rag with legal fees. And that's just from today.

I mean, that can close down our door.

Look, if we lose, we lose.

If we quit, we really lose a lot of money.

Look, we got one true goal for this trial.

It's this.

The bird.

He did witness every time an acme product malfunctioned. He could

corroborate why the story.

Sure, whatever.

Add the roadrunner to our witness list.

One more thing.

Where is Mr. Coyote going to stay?

All right, don't give me that look.

Yeah, I live in a motel. Okay, I got pool access.

You know, there's no mortgage.

I never have to make my bed.

There's an incredible all-you-can-eat seafood buffet around the corner. I had

issues when I had a photo of Adam Walton.

Hi, Jerry.

Yeah?

One second.

I need another room for a few nights. Not near me, please.

Sorry. He's not a pet.

He looks like a pet.

Who rents a separate room for their pets?

Sorry, come on. I've been living here for almost five years. You know me. No

pets.

Okay.

You want to do this? Legally speaking, a pet is a domesticated or tamed animal

kept as a companion in or outside an individual's residence.

This is Mr. Coyote. He is my client. He's not my pet, nor anyone's pet in the

eyes of the law. And as such, that sign or any rule that accompanies it does not

apply to him. All right? It does not say no animals. And just my unbiased

opinion, he may actually have a case against you for discrimination.

Yeah.

He's on the road.

It's on you.

All right, deal. But I would need a full workup of your analysis.

I mean, it's a motel. Plenty of people pee on the road.

Well, let it go.

A mouse breaks the sound barrier in

Guadalajara.

Watch and learn. So we take the subpoena like so.

Shove it with copious amounts of birdseed.

Roadrunner eats the birdseed.

Grabs the subpoena and boom. He's legally obligated to show up to court.

Instant Roadrunner trap.

Don't do it.

Big beef. So we're going to get into that thing with you guys.

Is everyone clear on our plan? No. Nah.

Yes. Paige, what's our plan?

So we have to prove to the jury that Pinkerton has fought for every accident

that Wilde's had going on this year. So we are going to take pictures and we're

going to gather evidence and we're going to put the evidence in little bags and

we're going to interview experts.

And we're just going to have a big book of photocopied documents.

I'm going to pound the pavement and study up. I'm going to try to catch a

big eyewitness by reading a nice note in the desert. And if we follow my plan by

the end of this, we'll have enough evidence to take acne down.

We really have nothing.

I mean, I kind of assumed that we'd have nothing, but this is nothing.

All rise.

The Board of the Second Judicial Circuit of Albuquerque is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Trump Agrozo presiding.

You may be seated.

Hey, old man.

Quiet!

My name is Judge Trapagroso. The name of the case is Coyote v.

Axel. I am not a loosey-goosey judge.

I am a no-nonsense, no-silly-stuff judge.

Is that understood?

Mr.

Craig.

We live in a great country, don't we?

Because it's one that values freedom above all else. You're free to live your

life any way you see fit.

Because it means living in the desert.

Out in the cave, spending your days chasing after a bird.

Much, much faster than you.

But that, that is your right.

As an American.

But that freedom, it comes with great responsibility.

If you're going to take a missile, for instance, and your glue and candle bars.

Tell us that you enjoy it, but we expect you to understand that that missile and

those handle bars, they aren't designed to catch a bird.

What I will prove to this jury, that man, Wiley Coyote, he is wrecked.

And all of his injuries are self-inflicted.

I mean, they won't condemn you or I.

We all know who's responsible.

Clear as the desert sky.

I think I just laid an egg. God bless the truth.

God bless the truth.

That was really good.

Oh, please don't write that down.

And please don't write that down. Of course.

Thank you.

Mr. Avery.

Now, what did the defense say we're going to argue?

Huh?

I mean, I know the answer to it. I know the answer. I'm not asking you a

question. I mean, it is a question.

But it's a question that I'm asking to me. Let me start over. Let me start

over.

Okay.

So the defense said that we were going to argue that

the products are dangerous.

And the acne is negligent in selling them? I do really agree with all that.

Yeah, I mean, it's not fancy, but it's true.

Sorry, one second, please.

We don't need evidence right now. Mr.

Avery! Excuse me, Your Honor. My client would like me to show you this defective

acne rocket skate. And as you can see, there's a faulty on bridge.

Opening arguments today in Coyote v. Acme. Sources close to the cage report

that Acme is doing a fantastic job protecting their brand and dignity,

while the plaintiff appears hungry and afraid.

More after this.

Yeah.

Seriously?

It's the TV you're having a problem with.

Okay. Are you having fun?

Yeah.

Jerry, I turned it off.

Who's this?

I, uh, can't tell you. I want to, but I can't. Uh, I'm evil.

You sure you have the right number?

But I don't. I think I may be able to help you. Wait, can you please? What? I

have information that could stop Agni. For good.

Oh my god, you could stop this case?

Well, who?

Where do I find it? Write this down. I'm only going to say it once. Let's go.

Wait, wait, wait. Wrap it up in. Hang on. Hang on.

666 Scary Road Drive.

That doesn't sound like a place I want to go. Look for a jack.

Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

And they make people disappear.

Don't forget that.

I won't.

Will I be able to contact you again?

Rascal, you.

The tax haven's so nice, they made it twice.

So I think I should, we have ourselves a lawsuit in the anime sector.

Talk to PR about this.

It's a local paper. Every fighter.

I'm a witness case as fast as I can, but in the meantime, things like this make

us look pretty good in the public eye. Not ideal, but you know, it's like

killing two birds with one stone.

Two birds, one stone. What a vile expression.

Rock, we both know it would be very, I say, very unpleasant for everyone

involved if anything bigger, I say bigger, would become public.

Ah, mysterious color. It's so cool.

What's up, Doc?

I have information.

Chomp, chomp, chomp. He was like chewing on a cracker or something.

Okay.

Well, Matt would think it should be right here.

It's just a wall.

Jack?

Is there a Jack anywhere?

Wait.

I'm done.

Oh, that kind of Jack.

He's got a sense of humor.

There's the duck, and he is sitting.

Feels a bit easy.

Well, good thing I like you.

Excuse me.

Hi, uh, my name is Kevin Avery. This is Paige. I'm a personal injury attorney.

Well, look who decided to show up.

Oh, great. Thank you. I wasn't sure if you knew we were coming. You're a little

late, and you're still wearing that hideous suit. Take your pants off. Right

over there, please. And, um, take a pose.

Uh... No. It's so typical to find new models these days.

Sit down.

Uh. Masquerilla?

We're all right, thank you.

Disrobe and pretend you're thinking. I expect this is going to take a few

hours.

Yeah, um, we had an anonymous caller say that you might have some important

information. Yeah, information that can help us enter a case quick.

Information?

Yeah.

About acne?

Acne.

Uh, yeah.

Acme. Acme?

Acme? After all this, they call me Acme? The world is Acme! Acme!

Acme!

Hello? I'm here for the...

A can of paint.

Well, it could be important. Clearly he's been holding on to this for a

while.

Wait.

That's all, Frog.

Are we the frog?

You think we're going to get kidnapped?

Held to ransom?

Be completely dangerous.

And yet he walked in anyway.

Wait, what are you doing?

I'm following Willie.

I just look like a loser if I stay out here.

Coming into the tunnel.

They're going to tell you to walk down Mysterious Tunnels in your fancy

classes. Actually, I thought about majoring in Mysterious Tunnels.

No, you didn't. Yeah, I did.

What have we got here?

Hey,

I found a message.

What does it say?

It says Dappy.

I'm not sure how long I have...

I hope this message gets to you.

Things have gone awry with Project Sissy Food.

Sissy Food.

What is Project Sissy Food?

Acne is watching my every move and I have a feeling I'm in grave danger.

Please stand down. Doctor Lori.

Did I not say unfeasibly dangerous? I did. Didn't I say those exact words? I

did. Okay.

What could this mean? Project Synthesis.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What?

What?

What could happen?

What?

What? I think they're on to us.

Okay. So Synthesis, it's a Greek mythology.

And he was punished by the gods and made to roll a boulder up a hill every day,

but it would just roll right back down for a clean.

And it was also a vacuum that changed the bathroom.

So what? Because that's not evidence.

None of this is going to help us win the trial. All right, it's all just a waste

of our time.

We have a client who, no offense, can't read a warning label.

We have piles and piles of stuff that he himself broke.

We have nothing, Paige.

You've been settling Acme cases for years, and you have never stopped to

think and see a pattern. A pattern? Yeah. My clients go boom, and two

seconds later, they're fine.

Nobody cares.

So that makes it, okay?

Boom, $100, that's fair?

This case can make it, right? This is your opportunity to really show people

what you're capable of. Yeah, but that only works if I don't lose.

And why do you assume you're going to lose?

Are you kidding?

It is really super easy to lose.

It was better you learn that now.

You know, everyone thought I was crazy for coming here.

But I didn't want to just go to some big law firm and help the rich guys get

richer.

I thought, I thought you were actually still a real lawyer.

Yeah, me too.

So, uh, what is it about the road, brother?

There are no words.

I envy you, really.

It must be nice to have you.

I used to have that, I'd say.

You know, I was hungry, I was chasing.

But I didn't like the pressure of having to always win.

I got burnt out on trying.

Anyway.

a long way to make a point.

Uh, yeah, well, sounds not. Is that going to be a problem?

Wiley is conning us. The only reason he's doing this case is to catch and

kill the Roadrunner during the trial.

That's not good.

It's all just part of the plot. Just using us to put the bird on the witness

stand. If the Roadrunner shows up to court, it'll be chaos.

I'll look like a fool.

Mr. Fern will fold. We'll be back in a minute.

That's kind of demeaning to mattress salesmen.

Fine. We'll be garbage men. Come in.

Okay, but garbage people. My dad's garbage people.

Okay. We'll be nervous about letting Wiley back into this courtroom.

Without Wiley, there's no trial. With no trial, there's no firm. And without the

firm, we're going to be broke.

I hate to suggest lying to a dog, but you're going to have to convince him

that the roadrunner will be there.

Paige, I was wrong.

See, we need to find out about Project Sisyphus and how it's connected to acne.

Great. I'm already on it.

I was just wondering if any Dr. Lorre still lives here?

It was

a very happy marriage. He used to work long

days, but would still keep home and live.

piano for me for hours because he knew how much I loved it. We had 87

years together.

I am grateful.

Um, when did Dr. Murray pass away if you don't mind me asking?

He's not dead.

He's nothing.

He went to work one day with our little bird and I never saw either of them

again. They told me he ran off with his Secretary, but I don't think so. The

secretary was a penguin.

What can you tell me about Project Success?

Which day was it?

Oh, which day is the Roadrunner castified?

Hmm, any day now. What, do you have any particular reason for wanting to catch

up with him?

Okay, well, I'll just get back to it.

I need this Roadrunner.

Absolutely.

Why is that?

He's the only one that's seen every time there's more and used our products

incorrect.

Quite a bit.

You hold the brush.

Go out there and you burn with me.

How hard can it be to catch a bird?

acne. He was so excited when he got the job. He wanted to make things that

really helped cartoon.

Like the anti-lump post.

An eraser of stinky lines.

Oh, and this anti-predator spray.

After a while, things changed.

He didn't like what was going on.

And then... He disappeared.

Recently, I've been getting phone calls.

Sometimes they hang up, but sometimes... I

don't know the man on the telephone. I don't know where my dear husband went.

But I know Project Quick-Face is the reason he's gone.

Obviously, we hit a theme, huh?

Does it itch?

Yeah.

But I'm afraid to touch it.

You eyes and ears out there, what happened?

What'd you see?

Well, I thought I taught.

You taught, you taught.

I don't pay you to think, you taught. I pay you to talk. I taught.

You talk or you talk, you talk? Because you just said you talk, you talk. I did.

I did talk.

What did you talk?

A breakdown on the eastern perimeter.

Ultimately, that's where he went off. That world runner is very, very fast,

sir.

Instead, you gave a bird to get too close.

I'll just go and get that one. Come on. Come on. Stop digging around.

You know what happened to Dr. Laurie? You want the same thing to happen to

your granny? No.

hey great job big dog absolutely another word

Paige? Are you okay?

Oh, I'm totally fine.

I've always kind of wanted to throw a bomb out of a window, but there just

never really was a right time.

Listen, Dr. Warren's widow gave me this tape.

Can I go to his house and have it? There's something in the background.

That's the guy that called me.

Yeah, I know, but can you hear it?

I wish I could say more, but acne has E's and E's everywhere.

Wait, Wiley, is that evidence? Okay, that's enough.

Wiley, Wiley, doctor.

I know this song. From where?

I don't know. It sounds like a TV show or an ad or... Wait.

Albuquerque's annual tariff festival.

Okay. What is that?

A festival of tariffs in Albuquerque. It happens every year annually.

The three-collar who called me.

Tell them we're from Avery Jones and Maltese.

We're from Avery Jones and Maltese. And show yourself at any time.

So, uh, what is up, Doc?

Who's there?

I'll never tell you, Mac. I'm a creature of the night. A shadow that moves.

You'll never figure out who I am.

The bunch here's been bumbling and stumbling your way through this case for

weeks. You're lucky you have me on your side.

Hey, you been followed?

Got eyes on you? Caught by a red light camera? Spotted by a drone?

Have you been bugged?

This is just getting embarrassing now. Look, I got like a million questions for

you. Why didn't you call again? What happened to Dr. Lurie? And what can you

tell us about Project Tissue?

Enough with the questions, Counselor. This calls for a flashback.

He built some amazing things.

Essentials, like the object machine.

One day, they sent an executive from corporate to oversee things.

The guy was a real tyrant.

Suddenly, there was a lot of secrets.

They called it Project Sisyphus.

Under the new management, the cast became increasingly reckless.

I'm not sure I understand.

What was it all for?

They weren't inventing products for cartoons.

They were using cartoons to invent products.

Dr. Lurie told them this was fraud and that their tests were harmful to

cartoons. He pleaded with them to put an end to it. But instead, he put an end

to him.

Everyone who worked on Project Tishabit designed a mission.

And when did the program end? Don't you see?

It never ended. It evolved.

Instead of testing dangerous products in the lab, they let them out into the real

world. Yes.

Wiley's rocket skates, they were designed to backfire.

Now you're getting it. The more something breaks, the more a cartoon

gets hurt, the more data to make better acne products for humans.

Exactly, exactly.

Wiley, you're what they call a high-usage user.

They let you boom and splat and bang for years and years, knowing full well the

code. When you testify to this in court, the world needs to hear this. No, no,

no. You need someone on the inside to spill the beans.

Get the head of PR and Acme to testify. He's a master of spin. His name is...

Yeah, that's great. No one can get through that door.

Any added security is great.

Would you tell us your role in Acme, for the record?

Okay,

great. Is there anything wrong with you? I'm out of here. Done. And what does

your role as PR representative entail?

Well...

Acme.

So you have authority to speak for Acme.

What can you tell us about Project Sisyphus?

Mr.

Devil, what is Project Sisyphus?

Mayor, mind you, you are under oath.

A counselor approached the bench.

This case is turning my courtroom into a circus.

And they just ejected my witness.

We don't know that.

I couldn't agree more. I'd like to file a motion to exclude all evidence

submitted by the prosecution.

State the original pair of rocks in the case. All evidence is overreaching.

Motion granted.

Are you kidding?

Thank you, Your Honor. Now in response, I'd like to file a motion for dismiss

due to lack of evidence.

Motion granted.

I'm paying for this bunk.

You're not allowed to say that.

That's the beauty of being a judge. I can say whatever I want.

Missed trial.

There. I said it. Case dismissed.

Case dismissed.

of justice.

But it was not a surprise.

The Acme Corporation has knowingly been putting dangerous products into the

hands of cartoons for decades.

Acme has gone to great lengths to cover up an insidious plot that they call

Project Sisyphus. They have threatened the safety of myself and my clients.

Look, bongs, boulders, pianos, they will stop at nothing.

But myself and my associates...

We will keep fighting.

I mean, these companies think they can do whatever they want and get away with

all of it. Because they do.

And we're sick of it.

And it's tough now that we're getting ready to launch a...

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me. More chaos in court today after the ACME

trial was dismissed by the very fair and honorable Judge Troppo Grotto.

The plaintiffs made their objections known by wrestling a six-foot cartoon

rocket. It's all good.

Nothing to see here.

Hey, Paige.

What? Your speech.

It's the number one trending news item in the country right now. It's

everywhere. What?

They like my speech?

Well, and the car exploding, I think, is a part of it.

Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery.

Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery. Mr.

Avery. Mr. Avery. Any comment on Congress agreeing to hear your case?

Uh, uh, Congress?

Thoughts on Foghorn, Lakehorn agreeing to testify.

No, did you say Congress? There's putting acne under the microscope.

You're going to D.C.

We're going to D.C.?

We're going to D.C.

Uh, okay, well, uh, no comment.

Hey,

where are you going?

What? Wiley, no, you can't go.

I need you in D.C. I mean, this is the big showdown. If you don't show up,

there's no hearing. This whole thing will have been for nothing.

Is that a rubber, and I'll be there?

Yeah, of course.

He'll be there.

Yeah, he's coming.

I promise.

So, come on.

What do you say?

The whole world will be watching.

And he'll be there.

be a case of routine product malfunction has turned into a David versus Goliath

tale as old as time. I'd like to wish our furry little friend good luck in D

.C. We're Rude Warrior Wily, and we always were, from day one.

When a company is mystical,

there's always someone looking to tear it down.

Sorry about that.

Please be quiet.

Wiley, please be quiet.

Look, I promise you what I have to do is more important than what you have to do.

There's been a change of plans.

He couldn't make it, all right?

Okay, fine.

Do you think I would drag the Roadrunner out here so you could destroy me in

front of the entire world?

Yeah, I know you just wanted him in that courtroom so you could catch him and eat

him. Why would I help you do that?

Okay, yeah, I lied.

I lied. I needed you to stay with this case.

But you know what?

You lied to me.

Huh? You misled me. You made me think that this case was about some.

And it is.

You know, this is way bigger than the Roadrunner. Did you not even process

what the rabbit said? You're a high-usage user. I mean, look at all

this stuff.

You're addicted.

Every explosion, every time you fell to the bottom of a canyon, Acme wanted

that. You know, I changed around my whole life for you.

My entire routine is probably all going to blow up in my face because you wanted

a drumstick.

Oh, myself? You have only cared about your plan this entire time. Oh, the

roadrunner. The roadrunner. I'm so sick of this roadrunner.

You're never going to catch him.

Okay?

You really aren't.

Just stop crying.

I have to tell you this right before the hearing, but we spent every last cent on

this trial.

We're out of money.

So what does that mean? It means unless there's some kind of miracle, there's

not going to be a firm to come back to.

I made you guys appointments to donate plasma next week.

I can't go.

I don't want to put this kind of pressure on you.

We just thought you should know.

Why don't you go hold up?

I get a run for my money, huh?

Oh, thanks for your believable concern.

Come on.

Do you really want to go out there?

When we came with you, we hated you.

But if this, if anything you ever wanted, for your own responsibility, I

feel it's attached.

Let it go to the table, that's for you.

All I gotta do is walk out this door right now.

I mean, come on.

Really? Well, I'll just keep doing the same thing over and over again. Try,

fail, try, fail.

Expecting a different result.

Oh my god, he looks like a scientist.

Is Wiley here?

Is that you?

I haven't seen him since we were going 80 miles an hour on the highway strapped

to a refrigerator.

What the hell? I thought you guys were in the hotel room next to me. So what

the hell?

I'm really sorry about that.

He got to the room and he's not coming.

He knows I lied.

Well, I'm sure I should have been honest with him.

It would have been easier.

Mr. A- we thank you for joining us today. We are here to determine whether

an acne product are a danger to society.

When was your client?

I'm not entirely sure to be honest.

Dr.

Mr. Coyote hasn't deemed it necessary to grace us with the present, but the

scheduled time should tell you all you need to know about the character.

I think this does tell us a lot.

My client has a long history with Acme. He's been using their products for

decades. Why is that? Is it so angelic?

He doesn't have a choice, really.

Acme is a monopoly over all the tools required for Mr. Coyote's work.

His work?

I have here that he's unemployed and living in a cave.

Pursuant to Sylvester B. Gonzalez, chased by Predator is a legal occupation

under the law.

He may not get a salary, but he works.

In fact, he's one of the most hard-working people I've ever met.

He's brave.

He will walk out onto the tiniest rope over the largest canyon. He'll straddle

a rocket that he's glued handlebars to without batting an eye. I mean...

But when

Mr. Coyote first walked into my office, I was the laziest person you could ever

imagine.

I didn't want to work. I didn't want to try anything.

Because deep down, I didn't want to fail.

But he's not afraid of that.

No matter what happens, he picks himself up. He tries again.

And again, and again, and again.

He would never think of quitting.

He wakes up every morning with purpose and with hope.

And I think everyone should be inspired by that.

I know I am.

Thank you for taking the time from your busy schedule.

Now leave a question that Mr. Avery asks you a few questions today.

I've been studying this guy in interviews.

He's a blowhard. Huge ego.

Here I am, son.

All right, then. I can work with that.

Mr. Leghorn, are you aware of the ACME program known as Project Sisyphus?

I am familiar with the name.

Okay. And how would you explain the type of program that it is to this committee?

Well, it's one of research and development.

Great. So you're personally innovating your cartoon product line to make it

better? Yes, sir. Okay. That makes sense.

But if they're studying these products so closely, why are they malfunctioning

so frequently?

That sounds like something you might tinker with.

Well, son, business is complex.

Okay, now, does any of the information that you get from Project Sisyphus go

into developing the human line? Sure. Sure. Okay, so you admit it. He just

admitted it. Did you hear that? He admitted it. You're intentionally giving

dangerous products to cartoons, willfully causing pain to millions in

this process?

You think progress isn't worth a little pain, a little discomfort?

It is, son. It always has been.

Besides, nothing we've done today or any other day is illegal.

Isn't that right, Mr. Craig?

Absolutely.

Absolutely. The law is completely on our side here, and so is the popular opinion

of the South.

Thank you, Mr. Craig.

That's another thing. Take a seat, son.

Asking the questions here. Take a seat, son.

There's nothing cuter than this prosecutor.

I am reminded of my days as a little rooster on the poultry farm where I

learned a valuable lesson.

Cartoons are resilient.

Hit it with a bell.

We can take it.

Speaking of the cartoon, I think it could even be a little bit funny. Am I

right?

So what's a little pain for the greater good?

Pain is a part of life. And it's valuable.

Get that comfortable rubber in those shoes there, don't you, son?

Well, that's duty-free. We developed it by bouncing it one million times off the

face of a cartoon.

Those tornado pills became jet propellers.

That high-speed tonic got us to the moon.

So, yes, yes, our cartoon products sometimes do explode.

Sometimes they do backfire.

Sometimes they push the boundaries of gravity and science.

But do you all want to live in a world without new, without progress?

Now, what is it you always say, Mr. Crane?

Can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Well, that's right.

And in this case, if that egg is of low life.

Can you blow a desert dog with no connections, no family, no friends?

I'm sorry, but so be it. No harm, no foul.

That is not an accurate depiction of my client. Well, I was under the impression

that no one would speak on his behalf apart from his lawyer. Is there anyone

in the whole wide world who cares what happens to the coyote?

Mr. Runner, we will be asking you a series of yes or no questions. Two beeps

for yes, one beep for no. Do you understand?

Are you a

bird?

Are you easy to catch?

Okay, good.

Are you familiar with a Mr. Wile E. Coyote?

Have you witnessed Mr. Coyote using any acne product

while in your presence in the desert?

Have those products

always failed?

Mr.

Runner, have you been a witness to Mr. Coyote's pain and suffering?

Would you call him a friend?

Well,

thank you, Mr. Renner. Thank you for coming here today.

Did you have something additional you'd like to say?

All right. The floor is yours to add to the record.

Mr. Avery, I must admit, I am very, very moved.

However, you have offered no proof of Acme's culpability other than the pain

and suffering of this one singular coyote.

Therefore, as much as it pains me, you leave me no other choice.

All in agreement to dismiss this investigation, day on.

Well, no hard feelings, boys.

It's a tough world out there. Better luck next time.

I think those are the birds you're looking for.

Good boy.

Get back here, Avery. You can't walk away from me in a suit like that.

We tried.

We tried.

And thank you both for pushing me.

Wait.

What's going on?

They all want to sue Acme.

Even after how poorly you did, they trust you.

Hey, can you believe that? Oh, something to your office apparently is very

important. Hey, we got him.

Hey,

Counselor. You put up a good fight at Congress, but nothing says guilty better

than some cold, hard evidence.

Here's a gift from yours truly, from inside the doors in Acme.

What's this?

About five years' worth of cases.

Think we got our work cut out for us.

Shocking new development in the unfolding Acme case today.

Newly leaked footage from Project Sisyphus triggered a pre-dawn raid on

company headquarters that quickly led to the arrest of Buddy Strange, Acme's

chief legal counsel and CEO, Foghorn Leghorn, for their participation in the

alleged misconduct.

I'm a cage-free rooster!

Also at the scene, investigators rescued Dr. Peter Lorre, an Acme scientist who

went missing over 30 years ago. His upcoming testimony regarding Project

Sisyphus promises to bring the truth.

the light.

Well, that's the limit.

That's the limit.

Thank you.