Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:03,254
You know,
I rarely wait on line
2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:04,964
for things that don't have
some kind of frosting.
3
00:00:05,047 --> 00:00:07,008
I know, but this is
supposed to be amazing.
4
00:00:07,091 --> 00:00:08,509
It's David Blaine's
latest magic trick,
5
00:00:08,592 --> 00:00:09,885
where he's just
gonna kill himself.
6
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:11,637
How is that magic?
7
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,848
I thought he wasn't
supposed to be
a celebrity anymore.
8
00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:15,725
Whoa. It says
on Deadline
9
00:00:15,808 --> 00:00:17,518
that Maggie Gyllenhaal
just signed on
10
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,061
for the next sequel
to Hostel,
11
00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:21,981
Clitorectomy:
Third Time's the Harm.
12
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:24,025
That's a bummer.
She's supposed to be
a feminist.
13
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,359
I expected more from her.
14
00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,903
It's always sad
when someone sells out
their own people.
15
00:00:27,987 --> 00:00:30,906
Yeah. Like when Elton John
did that thing with Eminem.
16
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,491
And then
they sang together.
17
00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,618
Ugh! This line
is not moving!
18
00:00:34,702 --> 00:00:36,328
I know, and I have to eat
before my audition.
19
00:00:36,412 --> 00:00:37,413
What's it for again?
20
00:00:37,496 --> 00:00:38,831
I don't know.
It's top secret.
21
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,499
The only thing I know
is it's for Amazon,
22
00:00:40,583 --> 00:00:41,959
so I'm gonna bring
a blender I have to return.
23
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,335
Well, if you want,
we can bail.
24
00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:45,880
We can go to that new
Cajun meatball poke pop-up.
25
00:00:45,963 --> 00:00:48,049
Ooh! Elton John's
nickname for Eminem.
26
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:50,092
Scab, scab!
27
00:00:50,176 --> 00:00:51,844
Oh, another line?
28
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,220
No, that's
a picket line.
29
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:54,805
See, they have
a Strike Rat.
30
00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,682
"Waiters
deserve wages"?
31
00:00:56,766 --> 00:00:57,850
I didn't know
waiters had a union.
32
00:00:57,933 --> 00:00:59,018
I thought
it was just SAG.
33
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,269
Yeah, well,
I'm not joining.
34
00:01:00,352 --> 00:01:02,354
I can't afford to pay
any more stupid dues.
35
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:04,231
And those SAG screeners
are pathetic.
36
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:06,108
Big deal,
I get a free copy
of Hacksaw Ridge,
37
00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:08,027
but I have to see
a dentist in Paramus.
38
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:10,237
I guess we should find
a restaurant that's open.
39
00:01:10,321 --> 00:01:13,282
Although, technically,
this restaurant is open.
40
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,910
And they could
seat us right away.
41
00:01:15,993 --> 00:01:18,579
Yeah, but if we go in there,
they're gonna boo us.
42
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:21,999
I've been booed
four times today already.
43
00:01:22,625 --> 00:01:24,085
Scab! Scab!
44
00:01:24,168 --> 00:01:25,336
Scab, scab, scab!
45
00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:27,379
Scabs are a sign
of healing, dear.
46
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:31,300
Scab, scab, scab, scab!
47
00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:38,099
I just need you to sign
the nondisclosure forms,
48
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,059
then I'll give you the sides
and we can get started.
49
00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,394
Why is Amazon
being so secretive?
50
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:45,106
Every improviser
I know has gone out for
Mozart in the Jungle.
51
00:01:45,189 --> 00:01:49,151
Oh, I am sure.
That show is real comedy.
52
00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:50,736
Just so you know,
53
00:01:50,820 --> 00:01:53,489
this project
comes from a film director
54
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:55,825
who is arguably
offensive to women.
55
00:01:55,908 --> 00:01:56,909
Eli Roth?
56
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,452
Close. Jewish also.
57
00:01:58,536 --> 00:01:59,912
But his violence
against women
58
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:01,622
is more dialogue-based
59
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:04,708
and exists more in his
characters' antiquated
attitudes towards them.
60
00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,669
Woody Allen is doing
another Amazon series?
61
00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,754
Yes! It's called
Manhattan Mini Storage,
62
00:02:08,838 --> 00:02:10,256
and this time we are sure
63
00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:12,049
the Woodster's
gonna "get TV."
64
00:02:12,675 --> 00:02:14,927
I can't, in good conscience,
audition for Woody Allen,
65
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,011
as a woman, you know?
66
00:02:16,095 --> 00:02:17,721
Okay, yeah, sure, sure.
67
00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:19,723
But can I just take
a peek at the sides
68
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,808
to see how bad they are?
69
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,561
Can only show them to you
if you're auditioning.
70
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,437
Fine. I'll audition.
Why not?
71
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,189
I'm not gonna get this part.
I never get any part.
72
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:28,983
Here you go. Let me know
if you have any trouble
73
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,151
reading his handwriting.
74
00:02:30,234 --> 00:02:31,986
He doesn't even use
a typewriter?
75
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,113
He says gadgets and doodads
are passing fads
76
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,406
and hurt his flow.
77
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,158
Okay.
Got it. Of course.
78
00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,120
All right.
"Esther, white female,
79
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:43,831
"over 16, unfuckable."
80
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,416
Any other specifics, or...
81
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:48,335
She's a cigarette girl.
Uh, here, you can use
this prop.
82
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,712
So it's another
period piece?
83
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:53,549
No. Woody just thinks
cigarette girls still exist
and black people don't.
84
00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,217
Whenever you're ready.
Okay.
85
00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:56,719
"You'll have to speak up
86
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:59,013
"over this loud
rock and roll music,
87
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,764
"if you can call it music.
88
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,642
"Oh, here, Mr. Yellnikoff,
let me light that for you."
89
00:03:05,477 --> 00:03:06,854
Oh, shit!
90
00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:08,022
Oh, crap!
91
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,028
I'm okay.
92
00:03:14,111 --> 00:03:16,030
I don't care.
Please go.
93
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:18,949
But not before you check off
a reason why you're returning
this blender.
94
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:23,495
Just trying to update
the café's website.
95
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,539
Our site is so out of date,
we still have pics
96
00:03:25,623 --> 00:03:27,166
of when we served cereal
at breakfast.
97
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,710
And Billy was still
scruff-free thin.
98
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,588
Oh, Matthew, if only you'd
been Jeffrey Dahmer's type.
99
00:03:32,671 --> 00:03:35,633
Priority for the site
will be to get new
pictures of our food.
100
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,593
Well, I'm happy to offer
my services.
101
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:41,222
Your services as a parody
of a pass-around party bottom
will not be helpful.
102
00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:46,560
Oh, yaas!
103
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:49,230
I always love the view from
deep inside Miss Lola's shade.
104
00:03:49,313 --> 00:03:50,606
It's like
punching pudding.
105
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,857
Matthew, how can you help?
106
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:53,150
Well, my nickname
Shutter Eye
107
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,611
isn't exclusively
because of my anus.
108
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,488
I'm a talented
food photographer.
109
00:03:57,571 --> 00:04:00,616
Back in Catfish Holler,
I developed the cutest
little eating disorder.
110
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,618
I would take pictures of food
instead of eating it.
111
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,788
Now, of course,
I just use portion control
before I vomit everything up.
112
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:07,289
Matthew, you're hired.
113
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:09,750
Oh! That's great news, Nate.
114
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:11,293
You won't be... Aah!
115
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:12,503
Aah!
116
00:04:13,170 --> 00:04:15,881
Matthew! Oh, my Mouse!
117
00:04:15,965 --> 00:04:18,425
Oh, my child bride.
Oh, my good...
118
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:22,054
Oh, everybody, I would
like for you to meet
my ex-wife, Trish.
119
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,347
What?
What?
120
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:24,598
No.
We used to be
121
00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,934
the Prince Charles
and Lady Di
of Catfish Holler.
122
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,687
But, Trish,
what are you doing in town?
123
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:30,813
Isn't it obvious?
124
00:04:30,896 --> 00:04:33,274
She's part of Pence's
conversion program.
125
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,609
Oh, sugar booger, I don't
know most of those words.
126
00:04:35,693 --> 00:04:37,528
Mike Pence
has started a program
127
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,989
for licensed therapists
to convert gay people
128
00:04:40,072 --> 00:04:41,615
to heterosexual Americans!
129
00:04:41,699 --> 00:04:44,451
Lola, that's not happening.
I mean, I believe you
130
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,370
when you say Pence
is a failed prototype
131
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,122
for one of those
Japanese sex robots,
132
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:49,999
but there's no
conversion program.
133
00:04:50,082 --> 00:04:51,333
No, no, it's real.
134
00:04:51,417 --> 00:04:54,753
While we liberals
were busy debating whether
those naked statues of Trump
135
00:04:54,837 --> 00:04:57,715
were body shaming,
Russia elected
the fourth Reich.
136
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,466
And there's a protest
about it this afternoon
at 3:00.
137
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,218
All these protests.
138
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,512
They keep popping up
like Cosby accusers.
139
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,682
All right, how do I go?
What, do I RSVP?
140
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,560
It's not paperless post,
idiot. Just go.
141
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,020
And pretend
you don't know me!
142
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,647
Trish, what are you
doing in town?
143
00:05:13,731 --> 00:05:15,774
You know I'm still a slave
to the cock, right?
144
00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:16,942
Darlin', I know.
145
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:20,696
I was invited to do
an artist residency
at the Balloon Saloon.
146
00:05:20,779 --> 00:05:24,241
Trish is one of
the top balloon artists
working in the medium.
147
00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:26,368
We met at a balloon
fetish social.
148
00:05:26,452 --> 00:05:28,912
Mmm-hmm. That's when you
feel sexually excited
149
00:05:28,996 --> 00:05:31,582
by watching other people
sit on balloons till they pop.
150
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:33,250
Damn it, Matthew,
we all know that.
151
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,419
Stop balloon-splaining
and get back to work.
152
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,963
Oh, Trish,
do you remember
that teacher
153
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:40,257
we paid to be our
"ticklish toilet"?
154
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:42,468
Oh, no.
Absolutely not.
155
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:45,012
Women against Woody Allen.
156
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:47,598
Women against
Woody Allen!
157
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,099
Oh, my God, it's you.
158
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,434
Of course it's you.
159
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,186
What's going on?
Is this a flash mob?
160
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:54,897
'Cause I don't know
the dance, but I certainly
try to learn.
161
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:56,231
No. It's a protest.
162
00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,901
Woody Allen's
shooting in New York again,
and we're not okay with it.
163
00:05:58,984 --> 00:06:01,028
Let me guess, dipshit.
You just auditioned.
164
00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:02,738
Wait a minute.
You look familiar.
165
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,114
Did we used to fuck
in college?
166
00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,949
Trick question.
I only did boob stuff
167
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,409
with women in college.
But seriously,
168
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:08,660
did we used to fuck
in college?
169
00:06:08,744 --> 00:06:09,787
Andrea Mumford.
170
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,663
We've met several times.
171
00:06:12,498 --> 00:06:13,791
None have gone well.
172
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,084
Well, I have no
memory of that,
173
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,210
but you seem to know
what you're talking about.
174
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,587
My name's Julie K...
Kessler. Yeah, I know.
175
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,506
Another name
for the WAWA Blacklist.
176
00:06:20,589 --> 00:06:22,216
Wait. You guys work
on The Blacklist?
177
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,717
What does James Spader
smell like?
178
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,053
No, you bloated
Wendy's mascot.
179
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,555
WAWA is Women Against
Woody Allen.
180
00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:31,266
Once the WAWA Blacklist
is published in the
Women's History Month issue
181
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,102
of The Hollywood Reporter,
182
00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:35,771
you can kiss your
nonexistent career good-bye.
183
00:06:35,854 --> 00:06:37,314
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait.
184
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:42,653
How dare you assume I went
up there to audition for
Woody Allen, of all people.
185
00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:44,279
I went in there
to protest!
186
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:46,782
Yeah, that's right.
I ripped up sides
187
00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,617
right in front of that
daughter-marrying
188
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,702
clarinet-tooting
clown shoe.
189
00:06:50,786 --> 00:06:53,288
And then, just to make sure
he knew I was serious,
190
00:06:53,372 --> 00:06:54,540
I burned my bra.
191
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:56,250
Really?
Yeah, really.
192
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:59,753
I'm a WAWA too.
See this body I inhabit?
193
00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,797
It's a Trojan Horse
for justice.
194
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,298
These are the scales.
195
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:06,718
Come on.
We did boob stuff
in college.
196
00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,095
I would have remembered.
197
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:12,433
I love that this is
my second protest
in one day.
198
00:07:12,516 --> 00:07:13,809
Although this one's
intentional.
199
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,103
Well, it was worth
schlepping out
to shit-show Staten Island
200
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:18,564
to make our voices
heard in front of the one
building in New York
201
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,357
Trump actually owns.
202
00:07:20,441 --> 00:07:22,109
Isn't it weird our parents
used to go to protests
203
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,027
like this in the '60s
all the time?
204
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,238
Please. The only thing
my mother used to
protest in the '60s
205
00:07:26,321 --> 00:07:29,450
was the notion of letting
her hair air dry so she could
have a natural wave.
206
00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:31,243
By the way, did I tell you
she called me earlier?
207
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,245
She's furious because
the federal government
208
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,705
revoked her
parking privilege.
209
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,540
Did somebody say privilege?
210
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,417
Oh, look, it's you two.
211
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:39,668
Hi, Lola.
212
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,463
Do the opposite of that
terrible bra you're wearing
and hold these up.
213
00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,424
"Six Pence None the Gayer"?
214
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:46,842
I don't get it.
Is that a joke?
215
00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:48,719
It's the gay conversion
initiative.
216
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,138
The government's giving
$6,000 to any gay person
217
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:53,390
who gets converted
by a "licensed conversionist."
218
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,809
Wait, pence is a thousand?
I thought it was pennies.
219
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,312
I should also mention
I've never read
a Shakespeare play.
220
00:07:58,395 --> 00:08:01,023
Book?
Shakespeare playbook?
221
00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:03,358
Stage movie?
Anyway, I don't have
a great education.
222
00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:05,819
Wait, hold on.
Who gets the 6,000?
223
00:08:05,903 --> 00:08:07,362
The doctor
or the patient?
224
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:08,655
Exactly!
225
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:11,825
As if integrity
could ever be bought
for such a paltry sum!
226
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:17,122
Conversion therapy?
227
00:08:17,206 --> 00:08:18,916
I'll take any chance
I can get
228
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:21,418
to spend time with you
without that third red wheel.
229
00:08:21,502 --> 00:08:24,296
But I had no idea
you didn't wanna be gay!
230
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,048
Oh, no, no, no, Marilyn,
I do wanna be gay.
231
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,218
Oh, whew!
'Cause even I couldn't
convert a gay person.
232
00:08:29,301 --> 00:08:31,303
If I could, you can bet
that Circle Line Cruise
233
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,555
with Anderson Cooper
would have gone
a different way.
234
00:08:33,639 --> 00:08:35,265
No, no, no.
Look at this.
235
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,226
It's just a new
government program.
236
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,685
They send you
the paperwork,
237
00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:40,187
and then you just fill out
some materials
238
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,939
and then you get paid.
It's all bullshit.
239
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,691
Oh, come on, Billy.
Conversion therapy!
240
00:08:44,775 --> 00:08:48,028
That's beyond pseudoscience!
It's harmful, and...
241
00:08:48,529 --> 00:08:50,989
Wait a minute. If I become
a licensed conversionist,
242
00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:53,992
I'd be eligible
for MD parking permit again?
243
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:55,494
See? It's a win-win.
244
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:58,622
You do know that shrinks
no longer have MD
parking privileges.
245
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,832
The only way they told me
that I could get it
246
00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,584
is to become a member
of the clergy,
247
00:09:02,668 --> 00:09:07,047
and I had to preside
over funerals for sperms
wasted in masturbation.
248
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,007
No.
Can you
believe that?
249
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,469
I did a couple, and then
I said enough is enough.
250
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,388
Marilyn, what do you say?
Will you help me become
251
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,598
a heterosexual thousandaire?
252
00:09:16,682 --> 00:09:19,810
If you help me
become a charlatan
with a parking permit!
253
00:09:19,893 --> 00:09:21,728
Fuck, yeah!
254
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:23,230
Oh!
Oh, are you okay?
255
00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:24,481
Arthritis!
256
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,029
What's that smell?
Is that "not dinner"?
257
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,489
It is not dinner.
258
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,283
And it will never
be dinner again.
259
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,994
Put pilot... I see now
260
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,246
how offensive my cooking
for you was.
261
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,999
I hate every minute
of this confusing
conversation.
262
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,500
In honor
of Women's History Month,
263
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,877
I'm working on
a PBS documentary
about Molly Kelly.
264
00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:46,962
Who?
265
00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:48,088
She was a feminist icon,
266
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:51,091
and resented her husband
for infantilizing her.
267
00:09:51,967 --> 00:09:54,344
And I see now
that's what I'm doing
to you by cooking.
268
00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:58,223
No! Arthur,
there's nothing that helps
the feminist cause more
269
00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:00,809
than a woman coming home
to food a man made for her.
270
00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:04,438
I should know.
I'm the newest member
of WAWA.
271
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:06,023
You joined
Women Against Woody Allen?
272
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,399
I'm so proud of you!
273
00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:09,610
You're a Molly Kelly
in the making.
274
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,987
Technically, all I did
was set my tits on fire
275
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,363
during an audition
I'll never get.
276
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:16,408
But it feels good to be
on the right side of things
for once, you know?
277
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:17,618
Fuck Woody Allen!
278
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:19,536
That's right.
279
00:10:20,912 --> 00:10:21,913
Hello?
280
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,540
Really?
281
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,794
Arthur, Woody Allen just
cast me in his new series.
282
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,381
Listen, if his last
Amazon show
283
00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,091
is any indication,
no one's even gonna know
284
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:34,301
you're working with
Woody Allen
285
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:36,803
other than a handful
of masochistic TV critics.
286
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,806
I know.
I just don't wanna be
on the WAWA Blacklist.
287
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,099
I mean, working
with Woody Allen
288
00:10:41,183 --> 00:10:43,769
never hurt Kristen Stewart
or Parker Posey.
289
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:46,313
The only woman who ever
got any blowback
was Mia Farrow.
290
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,190
But if I work with him,
it's just gonna validate
291
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,524
his terrible behavior.
292
00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:50,609
And I'm not just
talking about
293
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,361
the misogyny
in his personal life.
294
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,112
I mean, have you seen
Whatever Works?
295
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,198
Yes. And its
portrayal of women
296
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:57,741
made Mickey Rooney's
performance
297
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,577
in Breakfast at Tiffany's
look nuanced and respectful.
298
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,787
So what should I do?
299
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,414
You're asking someone
who's taking six grand
from Mike Pence
300
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:05,749
to pretend I'm not gay.
301
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:08,627
I don't know
if I'm the right person to be
asking for ethical advice.
302
00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:11,004
That said, maybe you can
303
00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:12,964
affect some change
from the inside.
304
00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,258
Yes, exactly. Fuck it!
I'm gonna do it.
305
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,927
Good. Just make sure
you call someone
306
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,136
and let them know
you want it.
307
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,055
Oh, no, no, no,
I already told them.
I decided last night.
308
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:23,058
I just needed a "Dirk Diggler
in the mirror" style pep talk
309
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,143
before I, you know,
whip out my shvantz.
310
00:11:25,227 --> 00:11:26,978
Oh, Matthew!
311
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,356
Where is my Mouse?
312
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,609
Oh, he went to the store
to get some lighting equipment
for the website photo shoot.
313
00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,403
Oh, sugar in my bowl.
314
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:38,949
Mmm. Will you give him
this little balloon mousey
I made?
315
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:42,035
Sure. Julie, this is
Matthew's ex-wife.
316
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:45,664
Wait, really?
317
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,875
Oh, my God, doesn't this
look like a little mini...
318
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,585
Strike Rat!
Yes! Holy shit!
Yes!
319
00:11:50,669 --> 00:11:52,003
We should have Matthew's
weird ex-wife
320
00:11:52,087 --> 00:11:53,130
make us one of these.
321
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,631
Or I can make you one.
322
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:58,343
If we had our own Strike Rat,
we could go anywhere.
323
00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,679
'Cause everyone would think
the staff is striking,
324
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,305
and then we would never
have to wait in line again.
325
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,891
Mrs. Matthew, how much
do you think it would cost
326
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:06,852
to make a giant version
of one of these?
327
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,854
Oh, I'd do it for free...
328
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,022
if y'all two help me
find Matthew
329
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,983
and get him alone
so I can seduce him.
330
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:14,359
Tch, aw, Trish.
331
00:12:14,860 --> 00:12:17,028
I can only imagine
your backstory.
332
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,283
Well, did you open it?
333
00:12:21,366 --> 00:12:22,701
And ruin the surprise?
334
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,120
No. Three Secret Service men
showed up,
335
00:12:25,203 --> 00:12:26,288
and then I called you.
336
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:29,124
Oh... my... God!
337
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,417
What is in here?
338
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,836
Okay, this is...
339
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:34,421
Oh, it's a letter
for the conversionist.
340
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,630
That's me.
341
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:38,633
Ooh! It's the new
vice-presidential seal.
342
00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:41,052
Well, that's gotta be a...
Hmm.
343
00:12:41,136 --> 00:12:43,555
Okay, well, if you tilt it,
it's definitely a swastika.
344
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,140
Yeah.
So, we just won't tilt it.
345
00:12:45,223 --> 00:12:46,433
Absolutely.
346
00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,643
"Dear brave medical
professional,
347
00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,479
"thank you for helping
an American
348
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:53,523
"take a step toward becoming
a regular person."
349
00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:58,111
What? "Regular"? Oh, no, no,
don't worry about me.
350
00:12:58,195 --> 00:12:59,488
I'm not offended at all.
351
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,864
No, I was just wondering
352
00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:03,450
if maybe I should record
books on tape.
353
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:07,037
My voice seems to have
such a commanding quality.
354
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,040
Ooh! It's a porn mag with
identical twins on the cover!
355
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,834
God, is there anything
hotter than incest?
356
00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:15,754
What else is in here?
Oh, a hacky sack and...
357
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,547
barbecue tongs.
358
00:13:17,631 --> 00:13:20,050
Boy, someone really put
a lot of thought into this.
359
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,928
And look. All three
Hangover movies
on DVD.
360
00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:24,012
God. Oh!
361
00:13:25,847 --> 00:13:26,848
Coors?
362
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:27,974
Dare we?
363
00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:33,104
So I read
your new novel.
364
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:35,273
So, I read
your new novel.
365
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,983
So I read
your new novel.
366
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,862
Wai... I'm sorry,
that can't be right.
367
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:42,030
How can we all have
the same line?
368
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,241
That's what it says
in the script.
369
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,034
How can you tell?
370
00:13:46,117 --> 00:13:48,870
He writes in longhand
on these... Post-it notes.
371
00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:52,415
Maybe it means
we all read the line
at the same time?
372
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,251
Is Woody here to help us?
Woody?
373
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,962
Nope. He heads home
2:00 p.m. every day
374
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,339
for a salted
cottage cheese dinner.
375
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:03,802
So back to one or...
376
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:06,137
Okay, you're all set,
all right?
377
00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:07,806
There this is
what's called
378
00:14:07,889 --> 00:14:11,226
a DIY electroshock
therapy kit.
379
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:13,979
Okay, you look at
all these hot guys,
380
00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:16,189
and then I give you
a tiny shock.
381
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:19,484
Here's a shock,
I've definitely slept
with this guy,
382
00:14:19,568 --> 00:14:21,403
and he wasn't tiny!
383
00:14:23,071 --> 00:14:26,157
I cannot understand
what the big deal
about all this is.
384
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,660
I dabbled
in lesbianism
in college.
385
00:14:28,743 --> 00:14:29,744
You did?
386
00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:30,829
Yeah. Well, truth be told,
387
00:14:30,912 --> 00:14:33,206
three dates in
I realized
Dutch was a lady.
388
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:35,125
And then I thought,
"She's here, I'm here.
389
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,751
"Might as well
do some boob stuff."
390
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:39,588
So how was it?
Eh. It was like
Les Miz.
391
00:14:39,671 --> 00:14:40,964
You know,
a lotta people like it,
392
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,550
but for me
it was too long,
too confusing,
393
00:14:43,633 --> 00:14:45,802
and too much drama
for what you take away.
394
00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:47,929
Marilyn, are you gonna
buzz my nips, or what?
395
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,848
Okay, so...
Wait a second.
396
00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:52,726
Wait. There are more
volts here than I thought.
397
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:55,228
Oh, sweetheart, no, no.
Take those off.
398
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:57,188
Come on. This stopped
being funny.
399
00:14:57,272 --> 00:14:58,273
You're right.
400
00:14:58,940 --> 00:15:01,067
Aahh!
401
00:15:01,151 --> 00:15:02,694
Aw!
That hurt.
402
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:03,945
Aw.
You're right.
403
00:15:04,029 --> 00:15:05,697
We'll just throw it all away
and tell them
404
00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,490
that we did what
they wanted us to do.
405
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:08,825
Absolutely!
406
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,161
Would you mind
if I kept Hangover 3?
407
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,996
I saw the first two,
and I just wanna know
408
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:14,831
how it turns out
for the gang.
409
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:20,420
Wow. Trish really outdid
herself with this Strike Rat.
410
00:15:20,503 --> 00:15:23,048
I feel like we should have
insisted on paying her.
411
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,342
I know. But then I told her
that Matthew was all alone
412
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,928
at the café tonight,
and she refused
to take any money.
413
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,387
She is one
thirsty bitch.
414
00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:30,722
All right, Strikey.
415
00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:34,601
Time to shame these
suckers into not crossing
our fake picket line,
416
00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,062
and we can go
watch David Blaine
blow his brains out.
417
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,273
"Museum Workers 267."
You gave it a name!
418
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:41,733
Yeah.
I like that!
419
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:44,527
Thank you. I named it
after my latest
cholesterol count.
420
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:46,029
Where should we go
to eat after this?
421
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,073
Somewhere impossible
to get into.
422
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:50,158
But not too late.
I have a big day
tomorrow.
423
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:51,701
After I work on the new
Woody Allen Show,
424
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:54,704
WAWA is honoring me
for refusing to work on
a Woody Allen show.
425
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:56,414
Okay, that's huge.
426
00:15:56,498 --> 00:15:58,249
Not only did you manage
to avoid the Blacklist,
427
00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,751
but now you're the
toast of the town.
428
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:03,004
I know! Let's celebrate
by cutting lines
all over the city!
429
00:16:03,088 --> 00:16:05,256
Disperse! Disperse!
430
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,677
Disperse.
The power of Strikey
compels you to disperse!
431
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,930
Very unfair!
Get out of this
David Blaine exhibit.
432
00:16:12,013 --> 00:16:14,099
David Blaine!
This is a bad idea
433
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:16,518
for you to not...
go away.
434
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,605
Well, he's dead.
435
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,107
Yeah. It was all right.
436
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,025
Yeah.
What do you wanna
do now?
437
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,735
Do you wanna
eat something?
438
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,153
Or, um, Hamilton?
439
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:28,989
Oh! With the rat.
Yeah, yeah.
440
00:16:30,657 --> 00:16:32,242
It's a good thing
Good thing
441
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:33,785
That you're my friend
442
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:39,416
It's a good thing
Good thing
443
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,501
That you're my friend
444
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:48,383
Something's turning
445
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,720
Now I'm learning
446
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,223
Who's a friend to
447
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:59,102
Me
448
00:17:04,566 --> 00:17:06,067
Yaas!
449
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:07,777
There you are,
little omelet.
450
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:10,739
I never
have to eat you
451
00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:12,657
because I've captured you.
452
00:17:13,450 --> 00:17:15,118
I win, food.
453
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,245
I... win!
454
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,414
Matthew.
455
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:21,583
Hello, Trish.
456
00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:23,877
Just coming from church?
457
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,880
Actually, I was...
on my way home
458
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,799
after a long day
of twistin' balloons
459
00:17:29,883 --> 00:17:31,134
into different shapes
460
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,096
and then sittin' on them
until they... exploded
461
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,933
under the pressure
of my seated behind.
462
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,728
You remember
our weddin' night?
463
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,606
You had a helluva nerve
wearing white.
464
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,233
And so did you.
465
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,195
Oh!
466
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:53,823
Oh! Oh!
467
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,591
Oh... oh... oh... oh!
468
00:18:16,805 --> 00:18:18,264
Rrrr!
Rrrraah!
469
00:18:18,348 --> 00:18:19,724
Rrraah!
470
00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,579
Oh, Max,
every time I see you,
471
00:18:41,663 --> 00:18:43,915
I feel like
I just smoked
a bunch of grass.
472
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:47,752
Drugs! Great, she's
talking about drugs.
473
00:18:47,836 --> 00:18:50,255
I'm a mental imbecile,
but you,
474
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,632
you're vibrating
on a sexual energy.
475
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,217
I must be your muse.
476
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,144
Is someone
gonna yell, "Cut"?
477
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,896
Aw, shit!
Woody fell asleep again.
478
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,232
Come on, everybody.
Start lookin' for him.
479
00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:12,610
Seriously?
Yes! He's a napper
and a hider.
480
00:19:12,694 --> 00:19:14,696
I mean, it's frustrating
when he does both.
481
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,323
All right, everyone
split up and search.
482
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,492
You know, when we were
shooting Midnight in Paris,
483
00:19:19,576 --> 00:19:21,077
he fell asleep in a lake.
484
00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:24,289
So we gotta make sure
we're lookin' for
bodies of water, okay?
485
00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:26,457
Large and small!
486
00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:29,210
All right, and let's not
forget to use the call.
487
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:31,421
Wha-whaaaa!
488
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,507
Wha-whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
489
00:19:34,591 --> 00:19:38,136
Woodyyyyyyyyyyy-oh!
490
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,431
Woodyyyyyyyyy-oh!
491
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,183
Let's hear it back!
492
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,186
Wha-wha-wha-Woody!
Whaaaa...
493
00:19:46,269 --> 00:19:48,646
Woody?
494
00:19:48,730 --> 00:19:51,107
Woody!
495
00:19:51,191 --> 00:19:53,026
I found a fishing hat
and some Knicks tickets.
496
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,652
He can't be far!
497
00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:57,155
- Woody?
- Woody!
498
00:19:57,238 --> 00:19:59,657
Wah-wah-Woody!
Woody?
499
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,202
Hello, Newman.
500
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,537
Oh, fuck!
501
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,583
Hey, guys!
I've been waiting
all morning!
502
00:20:08,666 --> 00:20:11,002
You finally showed up
for the WAWA protest.
503
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,795
Women! Against!
504
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:14,464
You came in costume?
505
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,549
No. This isn't a costume.
506
00:20:17,217 --> 00:20:19,969
I work at speakeasies
and supper clubs...
507
00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:22,055
doing my burlesque act.
508
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,599
Really? I'm a huge
burlesque fan.
509
00:20:24,682 --> 00:20:27,352
I've never seen you.
Do something from your act.
510
00:20:29,479 --> 00:20:30,480
Well...
511
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,523
I'm a hoochie-coochie-coo
512
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,692
And a hotty toddy too
513
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,236
And the town never knew
514
00:20:36,319 --> 00:20:38,404
Such a hullaballoo
515
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:39,489
Cha!
516
00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:42,408
Oh, that's right.
517
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:43,952
I have seen you before.
518
00:20:44,035 --> 00:20:45,578
Hey. Hey, actress.
519
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,082
Hey, actress
in a Woody Allen series.
520
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,794
We found him.
He fell asleep
inside a matchbox.
521
00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:55,380
We need you on set
so we can wrap this scene up.
522
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,550
Okay, fine!
I'm in this thing.
523
00:20:59,634 --> 00:21:01,636
If it's any consolation,
it's fucking horrible.
524
00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,681
They're all fucking
horrible since Crimes
and Misdemeanors.
525
00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,683
I know, but I need
this big break
526
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,935
more than you guys need me
to hold one of your signs.
527
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,354
Look, as soon as I make it,
I'll give back to the cause.
528
00:21:11,437 --> 00:21:12,647
I really am a feminist!
529
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:13,898
The hell you are.
530
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:15,817
Welcome to the Blacklist.
531
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:17,860
We're gonna print your name
in a font that is
532
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,822
five points bigger
than Scarlett Johansson's.
533
00:21:20,905 --> 00:21:22,365
Ooh!
Women!
534
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:26,244
Uh, hey, actress,
I got some bad news.
535
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:27,829
We're shuttin' down.
536
00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:28,913
Wait, what?
537
00:21:28,997 --> 00:21:31,541
Turns out
Manhattan Mini Storage
is the name of a business,
538
00:21:32,083 --> 00:21:34,460
Woody doesn't want
to go to the effort
to pick a new title.
539
00:21:35,169 --> 00:21:37,255
So... that's a wrap!
540
00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:45,763
Welcome home,
Act Break.
541
00:21:46,306 --> 00:21:48,141
How was shooting?
The worst.
542
00:21:48,224 --> 00:21:49,726
Woody shut down
production
543
00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,602
after WAWA
found out that I lied.
544
00:21:51,686 --> 00:21:54,314
Sounds like somebody
just earned some
chicken fingers.
545
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:56,983
Ah! Thank God!
You're cooking again.
546
00:21:57,567 --> 00:21:59,694
I'm sorry I'll never
be like Molly Kelly.
547
00:21:59,777 --> 00:22:01,863
It turns out that's
a wonderful thing.
548
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,781
PBS researchers
just learned
549
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:06,451
the reason Molly Kelly
wanted to cook for herself
550
00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:08,286
was because she was
eating her children.
551
00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,580
She didn't want her husband
poking around the kitchen.
552
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:11,831
No bueno!
553
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,167
Yeah, so we're pulling
the Molly docuseries.
554
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,794
PBS will celebrate
Women's History Month
by rebroadcasting
555
00:22:16,878 --> 00:22:20,214
Peri Gilpin's
American Masters episode
for yet another year.
556
00:22:20,298 --> 00:22:23,384
Roz from Frasier, I raise
a finger to your legacy.
557
00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:25,678
These are all
for me, right?
558
00:22:26,763 --> 00:22:29,182
Next!
A-12.
559
00:22:29,265 --> 00:22:31,017
Driver's license,
boat registration,
560
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:32,894
or no longer gay?
No longer gay.
561
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:36,272
And I fixed him,
so I'm gonna need
a new MD parking permit.
562
00:22:36,981 --> 00:22:38,191
You're no longer gay.
563
00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:40,276
That's right.
Serve me up some hot wings,
564
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,570
fire up Better Call Saul
and please ask me how I feel
565
00:22:42,653 --> 00:22:44,030
about women
who don't wear makeup.
566
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:46,616
I have an opinion
whether they're beautiful
with or without it.
567
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,494
Yep. Checks out.
Here's your parking permit.
568
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:51,162
And these are your
straight bucks.
569
00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,372
Straight bucks?
570
00:22:52,455 --> 00:22:54,749
To make sure
you'll spend your money
like a straight guy.
571
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,168
A Tommy Bahama
gift card?
572
00:22:57,251 --> 00:23:00,129
How am I gonna spend six grand
at Tommy fucking Bahama?
573
00:23:00,213 --> 00:23:02,048
These are my
new MD plates?
574
00:23:02,131 --> 00:23:05,134
"I'm an MD, I cure gays,
and I believe in Jesus."
575
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:07,053
Those anti-Semitic fucks!
576
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,471
You can't put that
on your car.
577
00:23:08,554 --> 00:23:09,931
Of course
I'm not gonna
put it on my car,
578
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:11,724
are you kidding?
Trish!
579
00:23:13,226 --> 00:23:14,352
Hi...
580
00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:16,020
What are you doing here?
581
00:23:16,646 --> 00:23:17,855
Boat permit.
582
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:19,649
Trish.
583
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:22,485
You did come here
to seduce Matthew
584
00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:24,445
for Six Pence None the Gayer,
didn't you?
585
00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:26,239
Yes, I was at first.
But...
586
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,950
Then I got in too deep.
587
00:23:30,368 --> 00:23:31,577
That's what he said!
588
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,794
Three hours
at fucking Tommy Bahama.
589
00:23:39,877 --> 00:23:41,629
Finally I just
bought this shirt
590
00:23:41,712 --> 00:23:43,714
just so the salesman
would leave me alone.
591
00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:47,677
And I compromised integrity
I don't have to be on a show
that'll never air.
592
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,762
Plus, I'm still on
the WAWA Blacklist.
593
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:51,013
That's totally fucked up.
594
00:23:51,097 --> 00:23:53,474
We did the wrong thing,
and we still got nothing.
595
00:23:53,558 --> 00:23:56,018
Maybe it's time
to stop trying to cheat
the system.
596
00:23:56,102 --> 00:23:58,688
Yeah. At a certain age,
cutting the line
597
00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:00,523
just becomes a nasty look.
598
00:24:00,606 --> 00:24:03,276
Let's discuss this further
over some Cajun poke balls.
599
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:04,402
All right.
600
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:10,283
Hey, assholes!
601
00:24:10,366 --> 00:24:12,160
Why are you here
with another rat?
602
00:24:12,243 --> 00:24:15,371
Are you striking
against the strikers,
you sons of bitches?
603
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,582
Hey, look, the scabs
have a scab rat.
604
00:24:17,665 --> 00:24:19,584
No, we are not.
605
00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:22,837
We're balloon
fetishists.
Yeah.
606
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:27,091
We're balloon fetishists.
We are sexually stimulated
by popping balloons.
607
00:24:27,175 --> 00:24:29,469
In public.
In front of unions.
608
00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:30,928
Who we thought...
609
00:24:31,012 --> 00:24:33,556
had resolved this
situation already.
Yeah.
610
00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:34,682
Then prove it.
611
00:24:35,433 --> 00:24:37,518
Pop your Strike Rat
in front of us.
612
00:24:38,769 --> 00:24:41,772
Well, she can't because...
I'm gonna come.
613
00:24:41,856 --> 00:24:43,733
Me, too.
We're both
gonna come.
614
00:24:43,816 --> 00:24:45,568
We're gonna come
right on the street,
615
00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:46,986
and no one
wants to see that.
616
00:24:47,069 --> 00:24:48,196
I don't care.
617
00:24:48,821 --> 00:24:51,032
Pop. That. Rat.
618
00:24:51,908 --> 00:24:53,910
Pop. That. Rat.
619
00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:55,953
Pop that rat!
620
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:57,497
Pop that rat!
621
00:24:57,580 --> 00:24:58,873
I'm sorry, Strikey.
622
00:24:58,956 --> 00:25:00,458
Pop that rat!
623
00:25:02,793 --> 00:25:04,545
Thought it'd be easy
624
00:25:05,254 --> 00:25:06,839
Thought they didn't know
625
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,552
You thought it was
the only way to go
626
00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:14,805
Another way out
627
00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,141
Found on the way home
628
00:25:18,059 --> 00:25:19,393
Thought you were living fast
629
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:21,812
But you were living slow
630
00:25:35,826 --> 00:25:38,746
Wah! Wah Wah! Wah!
Oh, my God!
47540
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof