All language subtitles for Spin City S01E04 The Great Pretender_track3_[eng]

ASHLEY: I can't believe
you agreed to do
this interview.

Why not?
It's a new
magazine show.

They want to do
a piece on the man
behind the mayor.

That's me.

It's not journalism, Mike.

Well, I'd watch it.

What do you think
of this?

Too "Aren't I dashing?"

Okay.

Will you just
explain to me
why you are news?

I am news because
I'm so good at my job

that people like you,
who are supposed
to report the news,

have no real news
to report.

How about this one?

Too thought out.

Too "I left
my more dashing tie
in the closet."

Wow.

It's nothing personal.
I just think
it's a silly story.

Let me tell you
something, missy.

In the history
of New York City,

there's been one mayor
whose approval ratings
were higher.

His name was Louis Bundt.
It was 1622.

The population was 75.

It was Thanksgiving,
and he owned a turkey farm.

I believe you can
do the math.

Aren't you being
just a little cocky?

I'm just
at the top of my game.

I'm just... I... I...

I'm making no mistakes.

I see a problem, I solve it.

How about this?

Your old girlfriend
gave you that tie.

Problem solved.

It's so easy!

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Camera crew here yet?

Yeah, they're in
your office setting up.

What happened
to your tie?

Thought I'd go
without one.

You don't like it?

It's too "Look at me,

"I'm the only guy cool enough

"not to wear a tie."

Mayor's speech for tonight,

minutes of the city
council meeting,

and Paul.

Paul.

Good morning, Michael!

I'm not sure
you remember me,

so I thought
I'd introduce myself.

Paul Lassiter,

I'm the mayor's
press secretary.

You hired me,
if that helps.

You're upset
because I invited

the camera crew in,
is that it?

Ah, my little game
exposed.

You see right through me,
don't you?

Look, Mike, I just...
I don't trust these people.

Why do they want
to interview you?

Because
I'm that good.

Why doesn't
anybody get this?

All right, okay. Look.

At least
promise me this.

You'll lock her
in your room.

You'll give her
one hour of your time,

And you run
into any problems,

You just call in
big daddy.

Paul, no matter
how hard you try,

no one's ever
gonna call you big daddy.

You don't know that.

Do me a favor,
all right?

Go into your office,
take a deep breath.

Have a piece of fruit,
a bowl of oat bran,

whatever the hell
it is you eat,

and relax, all right?

All right. She talks
only to you, okay?

Okay, just... At least
give me that, please.

She's not going
to hear from just me.

She's gonna want to
know what everybody thinks...

about me.

I'm the number two man
in the office.

I should be number one,

but they gave it to Mike.

I think it's because
he has better hair.

I was really excited
when Mike offered me
this job.

You know, I was always
really good at math,

but I didn't want to
end up in some boring job,

like an accountant
or a bookkeeper.

GWEN: So,
what do you do?

Mostly accounting
and bookkeeping.

I really... I love numbers.

You know,
numbers make sense.

They don't lie.

They don't lead you
the wrong way.

They don't tell you
they'll come over
for dinner

and then
they don't show up,

So you get depressed,
you go out for
a cup of coffee.

Then you see them
walking down the street
with another woman...

smiling, happy.

I'm sorry,
what were we talking about?

You don't want
to answer any of
my questions?

I have nothing to say.

Well, after I ran
the mayor's campaign for him,

he brought me aboard
as deputy mayor.

It's a big responsibility,

But I'm just doing
the best I can.

Are you ready to begin?

Oh, the interview.

Oh, I...

I, uh...

I-I completely forgot.

We'll just wing it.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Well, let's see. Um...

How did you get
your start at City Hall?

Well, after I ran
the mayor's campaign
for him,

he brought me aboard
as deputy mayor.

It's a big responsibility,
but I'm...

And I'm just doing
the best I can.

Well, you guys are
sure riding high right now.

If we get any higher,
we're gonna need

clearance from
our local airports,

"Wink at her and laugh."

Oh, I'm sorry.
I just wanted to drop off...

Karen, please,
come in.

We're just
doing a little
interview here.

This is Karen Palmieri,

one of the interns
I've hired.

I think it's important
to keep in touch

with what young people
are thinking and feeling.

So Karen,
what is on the mind
of young America?

I don't know.

Okay, honey,
we're just doing
a little interview.

KAREN: Okie-dokie.

Oh...

Okie-dokie.

(CHUCKLES)

Uh, I'm sorry.
Where were we?

Do you mind
if I ask you
some personal stuff?

No, go.
Go ahead. Shoot.

You're a local boy.

That's right,
born and bred,

Stuyvesant High School,
Fordham University.

City's in your blood.

No city like it,
the big banana.

Apple.

(CHUCKLES)

I need a minute.
It's important.

Oh, we'll step out.

No, that's all right.
You can stay.

Go ahead,
Carter. Shoot.

Are we gonna stand idly by

while AIDS continues
to ravage our city?

Why don't
you take a five?

I'm gonna go
get some coffee.

Does anybody want some?

James?

Oh, I uh...

Uh, coffee turns
my stomach.

And the correct answer
to that question was...

The correct answer was

"I'd love coffee.
Sleep with me now."

I think our fair
miss Gwen has a crush
on you, James.

What?
She does not.

Yeah.
Didn't you see?

She adjusted
her bra strap when
she said your name.

Excuse me?
Yeah.

You say
a guy's name,

then you hitch
yourself up
a little.

You know, it draws
the attention to
the breasts.

And you do that?

I'm not
proud of it.

All I'm saying is that

the city is putting up
its AIDS prevention
pamphlets again.

That money would be
much better spent

on a more
aggressive campaign

where we institute
a needle exchange program.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Will you stop
with the needles?

Nobody gets upset
when you hand out
pamphlets

because it's
almost impossible

to inject narcotics
with a pamphlet.

The savings to the city
in hospital related costs...

I can't... I can't
do it, Carter.

I mean, it'll look
like the mayor is
condoning drug use,

And we are in a war
against drugs, in case
you haven't noticed.

Is this the same war
we've been fighting
the last 40 years?

Yep.
How are we doing?

Any day now.

Mike, you brought me
in here by saying

I could make
some changes,

And yet you reject
every proposal
that I make.

Politics is a game
of base hits.

You keep swinging
for home runs.

I've been here
three weeks.

I've put my name
on my desk

And switched
the office to decaf.

That's the sum total
of my accomplishments.

I'm drinking decaf?

GWEN: When did
Mike hire you?

About a month ago.

GWEN: And you're gay?

Except for one night
in college, but I was drunk.

I'm not
trying to pry.

I was just wondering
if being gay

gets in
the way of...

What is
your position here?

Special assistant
on minority affairs.

And what exactly
do you do?

Apparently, nothing.

Where's the camera guy?

There...There...
There's no camera guy.

I sent him home.

Is that right?

Is that safe?

(GIGGLES)

I'm very attracted
to you, James.

That's not a question.

Everyone else
got questions.

Maybe it's
this assignment.

Maybe it's City Hall.

Maybe it's you, James.

But for the first
time in my life,

I feel completely
in control.

(CHUCKLES)

I... I can see that.

I want you, James.

Oh, dear God.

Can I get
the tape of this?

MAYOR: And so,
with the creation

of these 34,000
new jobs,

we feel we're at least
taking the first step

towards one
of our main goals
for this city,

job creation.

We made many promises
when we came into office,

and we're gonna keep
the ones we can.

What?

All right,
any other questions?

Nothing?

That's music
to my ears.

If that's all you people have,
I have one last thing

that I'd like
to share with you.

This is
a hypodermic needle.

Who said that?

Now, about 40%
of all new AIDS cases

in the city
can be traced back
to contaminated needles.

Now that adds up
to about $24 million
a year

in AIDS related
health care costs.

So I'm issuing
an executive order.

You bring in a dirty needle

to any New York City
health care clinic,

and you get
a clean one free!

(ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

Aren't you concerned
that this policy

is gonna create
the impression

that you're soft on drugs?

I mean, you're proposing
that we use city funds

to provide paraphernalia
to drug addicts.

Michael, take this
needle away from me,

would you, please?

Yeah, that's right.
No comment.

Yeah, I was there.

Yes, I heard him say that,

And yet,
I still have no comment.

Honey, no offense,

but I really
hate the press.

It's all right.
I understand.

Let's get
ready for bed.

I've got to
wake up really
early tomorrow.

How come?

I want to get
to City Hall

before all
the free needles
are gone.

Cute.

You through?

Can I have one more?

No.

All right. I'll stop
needling you.

You know,
it's really nice to have

such a strong base
of support at home.

Oh, honey, I'm just
having some fun.

I mean, you know
you'll have a rough time
for a few days,

And then it'll just...
It'll all blow over.

Come on,
let's watch
your interview.

I don't wanna.

It'll cheer you up.

Yeah, right. Anyway,
It was supposed to be
on after the weather.

They keep talking
about a cold snap
in Sri Lanka.

What is this?

You're on
the weather channel,
Michael.

Jeez.

Hey, there I am.

Oh, look how
cute you are.

I am not.

You are.

Oh, go on.

You are, you are.

Everybody knows that,
and I love you.

Shh. Turn it up.
Turn it up.

MIKE: (ON TV) Yep,
I love the big banana.

Apple.
(LAUGHS)

That's good.

Yeah, you always
want to make 'em laugh.

It's very savvy.

GWEN: (ON TV) And your
girlfriend's a reporter?

Oh, she's a great
reporter, One of the best.

GWEN: So how does that work

with your job being
so politically sensitive?

Do you think she ever
makes exceptions for you?

MIKE: I hope so.

Why do you think
I'm dating her?

(BOTH LAUGHING ON TV)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV)

Oh, no.

Ah. You wanted
to see me?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's no big deal.

I was wondering
if you could just
help me

get this knife
out of my back.

It's... It's weird

'Cause I can't reach it,

So I know I didn't
put it there.

You gonna lecture me now
or is that it?

'Cause my decaf's
getting cold. I wanna...

Sit down, Carter.
I'll stand.

Fine, then stand.

I'll sit.

Well, this is fun.

Oh, it's more than fun.

We've answered a great
philosophical question.

If the deputy mayor
speaks in his office

and there are no
cameras there to hear it,

does he make a sound?

All right,
I was a little
distracted yesterday.

That does not
justify you putting

your own
personal agenda

ahead of the mayor's
best interests.

This issue deserves
a little noise.

As far as I'm concerned,

It was a huge victory
just getting the mayor

to publicly speak out
on the subject.

You set the guy up.

And now
he's gonna go out

and get beat up
by the press,

and do you know why?

Because he's a good man,

Because he cares,
because he trusted you.

(CLEARS THROAT)
What do you want from me?

I think an apology
is in order.

And then I would
like you to say

that the exchange
program was your idea,
retract the whole thing.

Where are you going?
Come back here. Stop!

Stay!

Sit!

That's right,
you just keep
walking, pal!

I'm telling you,
there's out of the loop,

And then there's
out of the loop.

Imagine how
pleased I was

when you allowed
the mayor to practically

shoot up in front
of the press.

Please, Paul.
I'm not feeling
real loved right now.

For what it's worth,

I thought
you looked great
on TV last night.

Very cute.

Yeah, me, too.

I wanted to
scoop you right up.

(LAUGHING)
And that thing

that you said
about Ashley...

Whoa, boy!

I'll be quiet now.

Morning, guys.
I made cookies
for everyone.

What the hell are
you so cheerful about?

Nothing. Just very
happy to be here.

That look,
I know that look.

You had
sex last night.

James, good work.

Was there
a woman involved?

It was Gwen,
wasn't it?

You're right,
that works.

I'm strangely
drawn to you.

Oh, great, great.

You're sleeping
with a reporter.

Why don't we all
sleep with reporters?

We can start
a press outreach program.

What's... What's so bad?

Listen, James, uh...

You can't see
this girl anymore.

What?

You're forbidding me
to see her?

It's for your own good.
You'll thank me later.

Mike, you date a reporter.

I mean, this is
a total gyp! Why?

Why? Because I said so,
that's why.

Now go to your desk.

Well, this is so
totally unfair!

You just bought
yourself a day
without television.

Throw in an overweight,
drunken mother,

and that's my childhood.

Hey, can I sit down?

Yeah, sure.

I know that
you're probably

upset with me
right now,

and you have
every reason to be.

Mike, it was a stupid,
insensitive thing to say.

It was. It was a stupid,
insensitive thing to say.

And I know you love me

and you would
never try to hurt me.

I do, I love you,
I would never try
to hurt you.

'Cause I know that
you respect me

as a woman
and as a reporter.

Okay, you've got
to stop now,

'cause you're stealing
all my best stuff.

Honey, I came here
prepared to do some
serious groveling.

I do like to see you grovel.

Well, would you
like me to,

or do you want
to do it for me?

What if there
is some truth
in what you said?

I mean, maybe I do
take it too easy on you,
you know.

Maybe I don't push
as hard as I should

because I love you.

Well, that's...
That's good.

No, Mike, that's bad.

You know, you're right,
that's bad.

That's very bad.

You've completely
turned me around
on this.

I love my job, Mike.
I need to be good at it.

You know,
I need to be good at it

even when I don't want to be.

Come here.

You're gonna be fine.

You don't know what the hell
I'm talking about, do you?

No, but you'll tell me later.

The program is dead.

It was a mistake
and it was my fault.

But when you look at
the statistics

and the staggering
human cost,

you just want
to do something.

But you see, I...

I never considered
the down sides
to this policy...

If you'll allow me,
your honor.

The reason Mayor Winston never
considered the down sides

was because I failed
to tell him about them.

This policy was my baby.

I sold the mayor on it,

And so really
I should take the blame.

Mr. Haywood,
please, please.

Mr. Heywood.

Uh, I cannot allow
Mr. Heywood

to take the fall
for this.

It was simply
my responsibility

to carefully review
every proposal

submitted by staffers,

And I would have
seen the inherent
problems...

Mike, may I?

Now, of course,
ultimately, the responsibility

falls onto my shoulders.

I am, after all,
the elected official here.

But... but...
But we all have
a role to play.

Perhaps, if I had
explained more clearly

what I was thinking.

Big daddy
is not happy.

Give me that,
give me that.

Mike, this is ridiculous.

The press
are eating this up.

Well then,
wrap it up.

Let's get the hell
out of here.

Anyway, I...
I think you can see

that what
happened here

represents
a breakdown in
the bureaucracy

rather than
a sensitive shift
in overall policy

by the administration.

So, thank you all
for coming.

You can catch our act
at the holiday inn
in Passaic.

Every night,
7:00 and 9:00.

Two drink minimum.

So uh, goodnight,
drive safe,
and God bless.

Can I close
or what?

Uh, just one second, please.

I... I really enjoyed
the show.

On a more relevant note,

I checked all the figures
that you released yesterday,

and they're
right on the nose.

So what changed?

I mean, are there
facts we don't know about,

or is this simply
a total lack of
political courage?

I'm sorry,
what was the first option?

Okay, honey,
enough with the smiling.

(ASHLEY HUMMING)

And the humming.

Without the smiling
and the humming, Mike,

I may be
forced to skip.

Please don't.
I can do it, Mike.

You know, I can ask
the tough questions.

I can go for
the jugular,
even if it's yours.

Can't tell you
how happy that makes me.

You were like a big
Mike Flaherty pinata
up there.

You know, we really...

We've gotta keep
what happens at work

separate from
our home life,
all right?

There are other
games we can play

with a blindfold
and a stick.

Right, right.

We don't bring
work into the house.

Absolutely. When we're
in the house,

no work talk.

We'll talk about
other things
that interest us.

Well, that's never
gonna happen.

We just need
some new rules.

I mean,
when are we a couple?

When are we at work?

All right.

Okay, I've got rule.

When we're naked...

boyfriend, girlfriend.

You okay with that?

So I would be
well within the rules

to ask you
a policy question

when I'm wearing this?

You can ask me
anything you want.

Answer's always
gonna be yes.

So, how long do you think
it'll take you guys

to recover from the pummeling
you got today?

Yes.

Oh god, yes.

Really, that quickly?

Oh, yes, yes.

Yes, yes, yes,

A blanket yes.

ASHLEY: (GIGGLES)
Don't you think you're being

mighty optimistic,
Mr. Deputy Mayor?

MIKE: Honey, stop. You're
breaking a rule already.

ASHLEY: I've still got
one sock on!

(SCREAMS)

MIKE: Not anymore.

James.

Mike, you're here early.

Uh, I'm just finishing up
this speech

for the borough
president's meeting.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have
used your office.

No, no, I'm glad
you're here,

'cause I, uh...

I wanna apologize
for yesterday.

Oh, no, no, no,
that's not...

I was way out of line.

I have no right
to tell you

who you can
and can't date.

Oh, thanks, Mike.
I'll see you later?

Even though
I was totally unfair,

you were loyal
to a fault.

Mike, you know me.
Anything for the team.

You're not wearing
any pants, are you, James?

No, Mike, I'm not.

I don't suppose
you'd want to me to throw

this stapler at that curtain.

GWEN: Please don't,
Mr. Flaherty.