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Today on Becky: "Men: Scum or Slime?"
2
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:25,753
Today on Lorraine:
"Men: Couldn't You Just Puke?"
3
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:31,325
Today on Sharyn ,
"Men: Upright Dogs With Paychecks?"
4
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,829
That's what I hate about
this time of year.
5
00:01:35,162 --> 00:01:37,631
Nothing on but reruns.
6
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,569
Oh, hi, honey.
7
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:53,180
What is it, Peg, couch sores?
8
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:57,485
No, it's TV thumb.
9
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:02,389
But I'm a housewife.
It goes with the territory.
10
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:05,893
- So how was your day?
- Peg, it was the worst day--
11
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,195
That's nice, dear.
12
00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:09,663
I want a vacation.
13
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:11,532
I need to do something different.
14
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,268
No problem. Next week
when you're watching TV...
15
00:02:14,435 --> 00:02:16,770
...Try watching with your mouth closed.
16
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:19,306
I'm serious, Al.
17
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,642
They always give you a vacation.
18
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:23,344
Remember last April?
19
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:26,580
That was my hernia operation, Peg.
20
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:28,916
And then what about Christmas day?
21
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:31,685
You remember?
You didn't have to go in until two.
22
00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:33,354
Yeah, what a day.
23
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:35,956
Between stepping over
your egg-nogged body...
24
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:40,628
...And thawing out my underwear
you left on the clothesline outside...
25
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,930
...I did have about five seconds of fun.
26
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,932
It was watching all those stars...
27
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:48,502
...When I stepped on the shovel
Bud left buried in the snow.
28
00:02:54,642 --> 00:02:57,011
Why is it that whenever
I want something...
29
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,446
...All you can talk about is yourself?
30
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:04,218
It's always, "My back,
my hernia, my 'roids."
31
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,990
Don't you see the rut
our lives have become?
32
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,026
I need a vacation.
33
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:15,529
Peg, if you want to visit
someplace new, try the kitchen.
34
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,604
And while you're out there,
take a picture by the refrigerator.
35
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,906
You know, Old Empty.
36
00:03:28,475 --> 00:03:30,911
God, I hate men!
37
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,884
I thought you were man's best friend.
38
00:03:43,591 --> 00:03:47,428
Oh, that's a dog, not a chicken.
Sorry, Marcie.
39
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,764
Oh, shut up, you hamhock.
40
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,634
Peggy, read this note from Steve.
41
00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:56,470
It was waiting on my pillow
when I came home from work.
42
00:03:56,637 --> 00:04:00,608
- "Dear Marcie--"
- "Dear Marcie" my sweet patootie!
43
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,643
The geek is leaving me!
44
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:06,380
Oh, he doesn't mean that.
He loves you.
45
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:10,484
I guess you're right. He probably
meant to say that when he wrote this:
46
00:04:10,651 --> 00:04:14,622
"Frankly, I'm sick of you.
You disgust me.
47
00:04:15,289 --> 00:04:18,826
I had a full head of hair when I met you...
48
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:24,698
...And I'm sure my nose grew
during our marriage."
49
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,702
He says he's going to Yosemite
to be a park ranger.
50
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,771
He's rejected materialism...
51
00:04:30,938 --> 00:04:34,508
...And all the evils brought about
by the quest for money.
52
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,944
Oh, and he's suing me for alimony.
53
00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,585
Be strong, Marce.
You don't need a man.
54
00:04:45,019 --> 00:04:47,921
I mean, what are they good for?
They sit there like a lump.
55
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,592
They pick, they burp, they let one fly.
56
00:04:56,030 --> 00:05:00,534
And then they smile
like they just won the Nobel Prize.
57
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,776
And then once a month,
they roll over on you...
58
00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:12,746
...On their way to the bathroom,
and they call that loving.
59
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:17,484
Not that you're not the best, baby.
60
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,123
You should feel lucky Steve left you.
61
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,859
This is the dawn of a new age
for you, Marce.
62
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,729
You know, Peggy, you're right.
63
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:30,831
I can do better than Steve.
64
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,866
I have my health.
65
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,569
- Right.
- Right.
66
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,604
I have my youth.
67
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,073
- Right.
- Right.
68
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,508
I've got my looks.
69
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:46,480
Thank God I have you for a support group.
70
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,482
Well, it's Steve's loss.
71
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:51,185
If he can't handle a strong,
intelligent woman...
72
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,654
...Then tough noogies on him.
73
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:56,423
- That's right.
- He'll come crawling back.
74
00:05:56,590 --> 00:05:59,159
I think this is just gonna blow over.
You'll be fine.
75
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:02,629
- Go ahead. Go home.
- Right.
76
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:07,801
I'm gonna go home and cut
the crotches out of all of his pants.
77
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:12,673
And drag his ties through dog poo.
78
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,744
As far as I'm concerned,
it's just one less egg to fry.
79
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:27,221
I don't want to be alone.
I'm afraid, I'm weak and helpless.
80
00:06:27,588 --> 00:06:30,157
There, there. There, there.
81
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,659
Now, peel her off me, will you?
82
00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:37,664
Now, Marcie. It's gonna be all right.
83
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,501
You can just stay here with us.
84
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:45,139
- I won't be in the way?
- Oh, of course not.
85
00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,875
You know, you're good people...
86
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,677
...And good friends.
87
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:54,081
Marcie, you're more like family.
88
00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:57,684
Al, brush the fleas off Buck's blanket.
89
00:06:57,885 --> 00:07:00,087
We have a guest.
90
00:07:02,256 --> 00:07:06,960
"Gee, Garfield, are those leftovers?"
91
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:21,008
Hi, Kelly. I see your butt's moving.
92
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,677
You must be reading.
93
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:28,081
You look a little bit pale.
It must be your face...
94
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:30,684
...Trying to peek out
from behind your pimples.
95
00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:33,187
Oh, big news in the neighborhood.
96
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,256
Mr. Rhoades dropped
Mrs. Rhoades like an old shoe.
97
00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:37,758
- No kidding?
- Yep.
98
00:07:37,925 --> 00:07:39,893
He left her to be a ranger in that park.
99
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,729
You know, the one where Yogi Bear lives?
100
00:07:45,732 --> 00:07:47,734
Jellystone National Park?
101
00:07:49,102 --> 00:07:52,039
No, the other one. Yosemite.
102
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:59,213
Man, how do you leave a babe like that?
103
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:04,852
You know, Bud,
this could be your big chance.
104
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,988
- What do you mean?
- Well...
105
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,157
...Mrs. Rhoades is staying with us tonight.
106
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:13,594
She's man-less. And you must
have seen how she looks at you.
107
00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,896
Well, sure.
108
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,200
How?
109
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,537
Bud, don't be a cowpie your whole life.
110
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,673
She's hot for you.
She's reaching her sexual peak.
111
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,143
You're reaching your sexual peak,
sad as that may be.
112
00:08:30,978 --> 00:08:32,679
This could be your big chance.
113
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,681
And what woman wouldn't want a virgin?
114
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:36,316
Yeah!
115
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,156
I'll-- I'll lie to her
about that part, but...
116
00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,795
When do you think
I should make my move?
117
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,733
- You'll know when the time is right.
- Oh, man.
118
00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:55,335
I'm gonna get me an old woman.
119
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,174
What an idiot.
120
00:09:01,808 --> 00:09:05,812
"Odie, did you eat my lasagna?"
121
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,786
Hi, Mrs. Rhoades.
122
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:15,155
I guess you heard the news.
123
00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,658
You mean how
Mr. Rhoades used and left you...
124
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:21,161
...Like you were the hand wipe
in the men's room at the bus station?
125
00:09:22,162 --> 00:09:24,731
Yes. That news.
126
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,266
Straw head.
127
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,037
Mrs. Rhoades, let me help you out.
128
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:32,172
See, you're a nerd girl.
129
00:09:34,841 --> 00:09:36,310
And nerd girls get dumped.
130
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:39,813
It's as inevitable as death in Texas.
131
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:44,818
So, what you've gotta do
is get yourself a new guy.
132
00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,787
Oh, no more men for me.
133
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:51,658
The next man that as much
lays a finger on me, I'll slap him silly.
134
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:57,064
Excuse me.
135
00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,201
What are you gonna do
if a man touches you?
136
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,904
Slap them silly.
137
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,343
She's primed and ready. Go.
138
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:23,223
Coo-coo-ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson.
139
00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:31,031
Oh, hi, Bud. My, you look nice.
140
00:10:31,932 --> 00:10:34,067
So do I.
141
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:39,840
Listen...
142
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,476
...I know you're hurting, babe.
143
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,445
I just wanted to say if you need a friend...
144
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:47,447
...Or a shoulder to lean on...
145
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,217
...Or a knee to bounce on...
146
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:56,757
...Just dial "A" for "All night long."
147
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:04,164
Why, thank you, Bud.
I appreciate that.
148
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,801
Actually, I really do
need someone to talk to.
149
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,137
Steve and I have been
together for so long.
150
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:13,073
I understand.
151
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:15,075
How could I have been so blind?
152
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,812
Look, let's cut through the fancy talk.
153
00:11:18,979 --> 00:11:21,982
We both know what we want here.
154
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,159
And if you ever touch me again...
155
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:37,464
...I will slap you so hard,
even your name will be swollen.
156
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,000
Got me?
157
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:51,378
What did I do wrong?
158
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:52,913
Nothing.
159
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,015
Don't you know anything about women?
160
00:11:55,182 --> 00:11:58,285
Well, no.
161
00:11:58,485 --> 00:11:59,886
Well, I do.
162
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:05,492
Her fists were saying "no, no,"
but there was "yes, yes," in her eyes.
163
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,360
Really?
164
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,429
Sure. Listen...
165
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:13,033
...Next time she bends over, you just take...
166
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:18,105
Hi, Marcie. Listen,
I want you to be comfortable...
167
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:21,041
...So I brought you this pillow.
168
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:26,947
- It's nice and soft.
- Oh, yeah. It has to be.
169
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:31,084
Al uses it to sit on
when his 'roids flare up.
170
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,924
So how you doing?
171
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:40,927
Oh, Peggy, I feel so alone, so miserable.
172
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,363
How am I gonna make it?
What am I gonna do?
173
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:47,200
Be happy.
Forget that your husband left you.
174
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,836
Pretend he died.
175
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:54,808
You can't tell me
you've never fantasized about that.
176
00:12:55,342 --> 00:13:00,013
Come on, Marcie. We all have.
177
00:13:02,249 --> 00:13:03,917
See?
178
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:06,987
Now, what you've got to do
is start thinking about yourself.
179
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,989
Be selfish.
180
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:13,326
I know. Take us on a vacation.
181
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,930
That'll show that damn Al.
182
00:13:17,097 --> 00:13:19,266
I-- I mean, Steve.
183
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,004
A vacation. God, I wish I could.
But where would I get the money?
184
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:29,109
Gee, that's a tough one when
you don't have kids to steal from.
185
00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:31,411
I know. Sell something of Steve's.
186
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:34,114
He took everything, except his stereo.
187
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:36,616
And he wants me to
crate it and ship it to him.
188
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,985
I guess you can't be a real park ranger...
189
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,856
...Without the theme from Brigadoon
blasting on your stereo.
190
00:13:43,023 --> 00:13:44,457
Sell it.
191
00:13:44,624 --> 00:13:47,127
I tell you what.
Would it make you feel better...
192
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,463
...If I sold something of Al's
and came with you?
193
00:13:51,031 --> 00:13:53,099
- Oh, Peggy, would you?
- Hey, Peg!
194
00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,670
Come pop this thing under my arm!
195
00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:03,210
Well, let's go first thing in the morning.
Al's a tiger after he's been popped.
196
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:11,218
I don't know, Kel.
I did everything you said.
197
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:14,120
I goosed her. I blew in her ear.
198
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:18,225
I even made that sexy sound
with my armpit.
199
00:14:19,693 --> 00:14:21,228
You think she's frigid?
200
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:25,098
You know, Bud,
it's time to step things up.
201
00:14:25,265 --> 00:14:27,267
You've got to show her
that you're for real.
202
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:30,170
Do something that screams romance.
203
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,973
Buy a single rose,
hold it in between your teeth...
204
00:14:33,139 --> 00:14:35,408
...And wait for her in her bed.
205
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:39,479
I know. Wear your
Ghostbusters jammies.
206
00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,716
But don't tuck them in.
207
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:46,653
And then when she can't believe her
lucky eyes, wink and tell her:
208
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,555
"This Bud's for you."
209
00:14:51,925 --> 00:14:54,094
Oh, man.
210
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:10,210
What the hell's wrong
with this remote control?
211
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:15,181
Well, Dad, I'm no electrician,
but I'd say the trouble is the TV's gone.
212
00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:25,392
Oh, and by the way, Dad, so is Mom.
213
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:29,262
Wait a second.
Let's not gloss over this TV thing.
214
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:33,967
Where the hell is it?
215
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:37,203
Las Vegas!
216
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:44,711
Oh, the lights, the money.
217
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,415
The men! I'm as giddy as a widow.
218
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:51,251
Well, let's just check in.
219
00:15:51,418 --> 00:15:53,787
After a nice bubble bath
and a good night's sleep...
220
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:55,689
...We'll start bright and early.
221
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,525
I hear they've got
a really neat dam not far from here.
222
00:15:58,725 --> 00:16:01,261
Oh, it's gonna be so much-- Peggy?
223
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:05,231
Come on, baby.
Mama needs a new pair of men.
224
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:11,037
I won! I won!
225
00:16:11,237 --> 00:16:14,341
Look! 75 cents from one quarter.
226
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,242
How does this place stay in business?
227
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:17,677
Let me play! Let me play!
228
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:21,815
What are we messing with quarters for?
229
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:24,551
The real money's over there.
Come on, let's go.
230
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:27,687
- Maybe we should take it slow.
- Not when we're on a streak.
231
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:31,324
We just got here
and we're almost up a buck.
232
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:34,828
We're hot.
Come on, grab the bags.
233
00:16:35,128 --> 00:16:38,698
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Make way. Make way.
234
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,668
Excuse me.
Make way. Make way.
235
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:46,139
Don't you recognize a lady
when you see one?
236
00:16:55,415 --> 00:17:01,121
God. What did they have,
a toupee sale here?
237
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,764
I would like $20 worth of chips...
238
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:14,467
...And a Nubian god
to carry home my winnings.
239
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,070
I'm Marcie. I hate men.
240
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:20,240
But if you get me drunk, I'm yours.
241
00:17:21,241 --> 00:17:23,743
- New shooter coming out.
- Okay. Give me room.
242
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,812
Give me room.
243
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:29,149
Not you. You stay close.
244
00:17:29,315 --> 00:17:31,651
Let's go!
245
00:17:37,524 --> 00:17:40,193
Lady, roll them or buy them.
246
00:17:41,761 --> 00:17:44,631
I'll buy you when I'm done here.
247
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:48,234
Then we'll take you upstairs and use you.
248
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:53,506
Then we'll throw you away and
hurt your feelings like mine were hurt.
249
00:17:53,673 --> 00:17:54,874
Then I'll laugh.
250
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:58,578
We'll see who the real park ranger is!
251
00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,317
You may roll now.
252
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,085
Thank you.
253
00:18:06,252 --> 00:18:10,190
Come on, baby. Give me a seven
or send me to heaven.
254
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:12,625
Seven.
255
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:16,196
- Did we win?
- Of course we won.
256
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:19,499
You know what they say:
Bad marriage, good luck.
257
00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:21,801
- Place your bets.
- Okay.
258
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,904
Don't give me a two
because my husband sells shoes.
259
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,241
Seven.
260
00:18:28,842 --> 00:18:32,312
We won again! We won again!
How does this place stay in business?
261
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:35,915
Oh, I don't know, Marce, but grease up
the men and shoot the women...
262
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:38,284
...Because I'm a-rolling!
263
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,723
Well, what are we gonna do now?
264
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:47,794
We lost all our money in eight minutes.
265
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:53,333
We lost our plane tickets home.
And we can't even afford a room.
266
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:57,136
Yeah. But we had fun, didn't we?
267
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,838
Yeah, yeah, right.
268
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,708
I'll go fluff up a cactus
and sleep in the desert.
269
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:05,945
You know what they say: The early bird
catches the Gila monster.
270
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:09,649
Boy, you lose your husband
and your life savings.
271
00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:12,852
It doesn't take much
to bring you down, does it?
272
00:19:14,787 --> 00:19:18,625
You know, I just know if I had
a bigger stake, I could break this place.
273
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,628
There's just got to be a way
to get more money.
274
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:36,009
Hello, sergeant?
This is Al Bundy again.
275
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:40,446
Listen, I'm really starting
to get worried now.
276
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:44,684
I'm sorry. It's getting hard for me
to talk. Let me calm down.
277
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:47,921
A description? Okay.
278
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:51,024
Nineteen inch, diagonal.
279
00:19:55,962 --> 00:19:58,698
Has a maple--
280
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,268
Maple console. And it's got
notches in it from where the--
281
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,771
Where the kids grew.
282
00:20:06,306 --> 00:20:07,473
Dad, what about Mom?
283
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:10,410
Oh, yeah, my wife's missing too.
284
00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:14,280
What? A description? I don't know.
Listen, you guys are awful busy.
285
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:18,384
Why don't you find the TV first,
then we'll worry about the wife. Yeah.
286
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,887
Listen, let me know
if you hear anything, huh?
287
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,855
All right, goodbye.
288
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:37,437
Why didn't I let you know how I felt
about you when I had the chance?
289
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,907
Gee, Dad, we've never
seen you touched like this before.
290
00:20:41,074 --> 00:20:44,277
Well, it's just that
I loved that TV so much.
291
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,713
We all did, Dad.
292
00:20:48,514 --> 00:20:51,017
- Who is it?
- Pizza boy.
293
00:20:56,889 --> 00:21:00,460
- Here. Twelve dollars, please.
- Yep.
294
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,329
No, Mr. Bundy,
I'm gonna need cash.
295
00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,298
Your credit card was rejected.
296
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:08,701
What? That's impossible.
I just paid it off.
297
00:21:08,868 --> 00:21:11,771
Look, Bundy, I held up
my part of the deal.
298
00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:15,708
I sideswiped a hearse
to get you this pizza in 22 minutes.
299
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:20,013
- Now, fork over the 12 bucks.
- I don't have that kind of money.
300
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:33,726
Wait a second. I'll take care of this.
301
00:21:33,893 --> 00:21:36,129
I know my credit's good.
302
00:21:41,501 --> 00:21:43,636
Hello. Al Bundy here.
303
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,673
Yes, "No Tip" Bundy.
304
00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,776
Now, look, it seems you people
made a little mistake.
305
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:53,513
Now, I ordered a pizza, and it seems
my credit card was-- What?
306
00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:58,151
No, I did not charge $5000
in the last ten minutes.
307
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:02,955
I see.
308
00:22:03,122 --> 00:22:07,527
And just exactly where did my wife
spend this alleged five grand?
309
00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:10,530
Thank you very much.
310
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:16,502
Kids, get a change of clothes
and a baseball bat...
311
00:22:16,669 --> 00:22:19,038
...Because we're going to Vegas!
23887
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