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1
00:01:16,510 --> 00:01:19,013
You know, the boys are upstairs
working so hard...
2
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:22,249
...And this popcorn will make
a nice surprise for them.
3
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:25,319
So easy to make too.
4
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:29,190
Peggy, you're supposed to move it around.
5
00:01:34,728 --> 00:01:35,996
Well, gee...
6
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,566
...Now it's not easy anymore.
7
00:01:38,866 --> 00:01:43,370
Peggy, did you know this says,
"Use before May the 11th, 1972"?
8
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:47,208
Marcie, if you read it carefully, it says:
9
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:52,146
"Best if used before
May the 11th, 1972."
10
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,416
Boys! Popcorn!
11
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:57,485
Can you believe it?
12
00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:02,156
This little treasure was hiding
in a box up in the attic.
13
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,460
It was a wedding present
from Al's parents.
14
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,596
They gave you popcorn?
15
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,599
Yeah. Popcorn and Al.
16
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:14,468
I made out like a bandit.
17
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,338
Well, Steve's parents gave us china.
18
00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:21,976
And written instructions on how
to make melon balls for their son.
19
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,778
It's the only way he'll eat melon,
you know.
20
00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:26,380
Yeah, men are so fussy.
21
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,716
Do you know that after we were
first married...
22
00:02:28,883 --> 00:02:32,520
...Al wouldn't eat unless his food was warm.
23
00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:37,591
Okay, we've cleaned out your garage,
your back yard, and your attic...
24
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:40,828
...So tomorrow you're gonna help me
clean out my garage, right, Al?
25
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:44,198
One...second.
26
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,734
No.
27
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:48,936
Now, I hope that attic is nice and clean...
28
00:02:49,103 --> 00:02:50,604
...For when Mother comes to stay.
29
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,275
Oh, yeah, the straw's been laid down.
The trough's been built.
30
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:58,445
All we need is a little glass
of bourbon to put her teeth in...
31
00:02:58,612 --> 00:03:01,815
...And she'll be in,
pardon the expression, hog heaven.
32
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,686
Hey, popcorn.
33
00:03:09,557 --> 00:03:12,826
Marcie, I don't need you to tell me
what to eat. You're not my mother.
34
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:16,196
If you were, you'd know how to make
a decent melon ball.
35
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,670
- It's good.
- No, no, no.
36
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:25,272
No more popcorn till you put
that junk in the garbage.
37
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:29,410
Junk? I got a lot of good stuff here.
I can use a lot of this.
38
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,446
Steve, look what she wants me
to throw out.
39
00:03:34,782 --> 00:03:36,884
My hedge clippers.
40
00:03:38,118 --> 00:03:41,221
They disappeared one day
from my yard. How did you get them?
41
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,193
Bud! Get down here!
42
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,665
- What, Dad?
- Did you take these hedge clippers?
43
00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,268
Yes. Remember, you called
Mr. Rhoades on the phone...
44
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:56,236
...And I slipped over and took them?
45
00:04:00,674 --> 00:04:02,743
Well, don't ever do it again.
46
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,245
I'm sorry, Steve, he must have
misunderstood.
47
00:04:05,412 --> 00:04:08,382
Hey, that's my car battery.
48
00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:15,389
Well, you can't count that, Steve.
That was before we became friends.
49
00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:16,991
Hi, everybody.
50
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,827
Oh, the greatest thing happened
at school today.
51
00:04:19,994 --> 00:04:21,862
The bus driver had a nervous breakdown...
52
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:24,064
...So we had to drive the bus ourselves.
53
00:04:24,231 --> 00:04:27,801
So if anybody calls and accuses me
of locking the driver in the bathroom...
54
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,870
...And taking the bus on a joyride...
55
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:32,640
...Now you know it's not true.
56
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,142
So, what is all this junk anyway?
57
00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:39,480
It's not junk, Kel. It's Dad's life.
And it's all in this box, isn't it, Dad?
58
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:41,048
You bet it is, son.
59
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,584
Hey, now, look at this.
60
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,953
MVP, Pop Warner football.
61
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,589
I was a little younger than you
when I got this, son.
62
00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,891
All-star Little League shortstop.
63
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,893
Oh, man.
64
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,629
All-city, football.
65
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,965
Then I met your mom...
66
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:03,504
Co-ed softball, Participant Award.
67
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:07,574
"Rookie Of The Year
Shoe Salesman, 1968."
68
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,743
You'll notice how they're getting smaller.
69
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:12,913
Everything about him is.
70
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:17,718
Oh, yeah, and I'm sure you didn't have
anything to do with that, did you?
71
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,722
Well, that's the end of my trophies.
72
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,691
Gee, Al, what a testament to a...
73
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:26,493
...Loser.
74
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,362
- Thanks, Steve.
- No, really.
75
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:32,933
You'll never relive this glory.
God, you must feel low.
76
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:37,004
- I didn't have much of an athletic past--
- Oh, come on, Steve.
77
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:40,507
You must have got the "Running Home
to Mommy" trophy once or twice.
78
00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:45,079
Well, if I did win one,
I'm sure it's somewhere in your box.
79
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:49,683
The point, however,
is my life is getting better.
80
00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:53,854
I've got the best trophy in the world
right here to share it with me.
81
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,923
Couldn't you just eat him up?
82
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:58,892
No, Peg would probably
just serve him cold.
83
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,129
Hey, look at this.
84
00:06:02,296 --> 00:06:03,931
The book that inspired my whole life.
85
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:06,200
Wanda, the Preppy Hippo?
86
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:10,337
The Little Engine That Could.
87
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:13,340
- Is this my book, Al?
- No, it's not, and I can prove it.
88
00:06:13,507 --> 00:06:15,409
Look here. Yeah.
89
00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:18,612
"Property of the Oakwood Library."
90
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,348
Gee, Al, it's a little overdue.
91
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:24,418
1957 is past, isn't it?
92
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:28,622
Can you believe that, Kel?
Dad was alive in 1957.
93
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,759
I didn't even think it was a real year.
94
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:34,194
Wow, what memories this brings back.
95
00:06:34,361 --> 00:06:36,230
Yeah.
96
00:06:38,265 --> 00:06:41,301
You can't throw this away!
97
00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:45,405
Well, Steve, it's a book.
He certainly can't read it.
98
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,809
Al! This is literature.
99
00:06:48,976 --> 00:06:51,845
Don't you understand?
You have to bring this book back.
100
00:06:52,045 --> 00:06:55,783
Libraries all over the country
are suffering from a shortage of books.
101
00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,852
And a book is fuel for a hungry mind.
102
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,487
Books are for idiots.
103
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:03,757
I mean, you can learn everything you need...
104
00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,960
...From a movie or a date.
105
00:07:08,462 --> 00:07:11,698
Well, the world needs bimbos too.
106
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,536
Al, just take the book back.
107
00:07:15,736 --> 00:07:17,905
I've got bad memories of that library.
108
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:21,842
Oh, honey, is that because
all the other kids were reading?
109
00:07:23,310 --> 00:07:24,978
No.
110
00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:26,880
It's because of the librarian.
111
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:28,816
Miss De Groot.
112
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:31,985
God, she was fat and old and...
113
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,021
...Fat.
114
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:36,089
She had this cup of coffee on her desk...
115
00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,827
...And she'd always be spooning
mounds of sugar into it from a jar.
116
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,396
And she'd stir it, it would make
clanking sounds...
117
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:44,364
...Like chains on a ghost.
118
00:07:44,531 --> 00:07:46,600
Fat ghost.
119
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:49,603
God, she hated me.
120
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:12,259
Well...
121
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:14,795
Young Mr. Bundy.
122
00:08:16,396 --> 00:08:18,699
The devil boy.
123
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,273
You'd like to check these out, would you?
124
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,276
Well, I'm afraid you can't.
Do you know why?
125
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:33,080
Because I didn't bring you french fries
like the other boys do?
126
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:36,450
You're a bad seed, Bundy.
127
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,753
You can't have these books because
you are consistently overdue...
128
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:41,955
...You never have the money to pay...
129
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,592
...And looking at you now,
I doubt you ever will.
130
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,427
I'll bring them back, I promise.
131
00:08:47,594 --> 00:08:50,264
You always promise,
but you don't follow through.
132
00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:52,866
And that, in a nutshell, is your problem.
133
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:54,701
Make a promise, keep a promise.
134
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:58,338
Yeah, yeah. Bake a pie, eat a pie.
135
00:09:02,576 --> 00:09:05,412
Can I have the books now?
I've got a book report due tomorrow.
136
00:09:05,612 --> 00:09:07,547
You may take just one book.
137
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:10,851
Hey, be fair.
Can you eat just one pig?
138
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,625
You're a horrible little boy.
139
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:21,194
You'll never amount to a hill of beans.
140
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:22,996
And I wish that on you, Bundy:
141
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,233
To be the failure you deserve.
142
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,469
And take that hand out of your pants.
It's a filthy little habit.
143
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:35,375
Now, I'm going to let you have
The Little Engine That Could...
144
00:09:35,542 --> 00:09:38,378
...On the basis that you might
learn something...
145
00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:41,148
...Though we both know you won't.
146
00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:43,951
Do you think anyone
can teach you anything?
147
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,787
You've just taught me
that even the slightest movement...
148
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,489
...Can make a fat person sweat.
149
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:53,727
Three days.
150
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:56,530
You have three days to bring this back.
151
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:59,232
- Promise you'll bring it back on time.
- I promise.
152
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:02,069
Oh, that means almost nothing.
153
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:06,673
But if you don't, remember,
I'll be waiting for you.
154
00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:11,478
Boy...
155
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,046
She hates you, Al.
156
00:10:13,246 --> 00:10:16,083
I swear, one day I'm gonna
take that bowl of sugar...
157
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,685
...And pour the whole thing
down her gas tank.
158
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,058
My life's gotta get better than this.
159
00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:38,338
That's when I first learned
that redheads can kill you.
160
00:10:38,538 --> 00:10:42,876
Come on, Al, that was 30 years ago.
The woman's dead.
161
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,645
No one can eat that much sugar and live.
162
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:48,048
Take it back.
163
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,950
Face your fears, Al.
164
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:53,420
Be a man and return
The Little Engine That Could .
165
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:18,145
You're alive.
166
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:24,384
And you owe us $2163.
167
00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:31,391
Wait a second, you're charging me $2000...
168
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,226
...For an overdue library book?
169
00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:38,165
If you didn't ignore the overdue notices
we sent you for the first ten years...
170
00:11:38,331 --> 00:11:40,600
...You wouldn't be in this pickle.
171
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,969
Sit down.
172
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,308
You made me a promise
and you didn't keep it...
173
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,377
...So now you must pay the piper.
174
00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:55,549
For you see, even the road to ruin
has its tollgate.
175
00:11:56,716 --> 00:12:01,922
Now, will you be paying in cash
or food stamps?
176
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,659
Can't we make a little deal here?
177
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,260
Now, I'll tell you what...
178
00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:10,630
...Suppose I tape a doughnut
to my driver's license...
179
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:13,033
...And slip it to you...
180
00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:18,972
...You give it back, and the doughnut
just mysteriously disappears?
181
00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:24,578
Could it be that you don't have the $2000?
182
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,279
Could it be that I was correct...
183
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,816
...When I made an educated guess
that you would fail in life?
184
00:12:30,016 --> 00:12:34,821
Could it be the nails holding your chair
together are from the planet Krypton?
185
00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,893
Oh, look. It's after 12.
186
00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,863
That's another 20 cents you owe us.
187
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:46,666
Well, it just so happens
that I returned that book years ago.
188
00:12:47,067 --> 00:12:49,102
- I'd remember if you did.
- You weren't here.
189
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,404
- I'm always here.
- Not that day.
190
00:12:51,838 --> 00:12:55,242
I believe that was the day
of the big cake heist.
191
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:59,312
You were rounded up for questioning.
192
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:02,516
Perhaps a policeman's rubber hose
can get to the truth.
193
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:06,086
Wait, I'll just go to the shelves
and get that book and prove it to you.
194
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,021
We'll both go.
195
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:10,423
So, Mr. Bundy, what do you do
for a living?
196
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,493
Presuming you're not still in high school.
197
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,697
Librarian hit man.
198
00:13:18,331 --> 00:13:20,500
I thought so.
199
00:13:20,667 --> 00:13:22,235
Well, let's see. I...
200
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:25,772
I know I put it here somewhere.
201
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,240
Is that a duck?
202
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,809
The book, Bundy. The book.
203
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,146
Yeah, maybe, it could be...
204
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,318
Oh, here it is!
205
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:45,192
The Little Engine That Could.
206
00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,727
Boy, this brings back a lot of memories.
207
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,296
You planted that in there.
208
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,831
Prove it, De Groot.
209
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:58,038
A loser? I think not.
210
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:08,215
So I paid a little fine,
I apologized, that was it.
211
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:10,250
See, Al? You were worried over nothing.
212
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:14,054
Yep, you're right.
Kids, let this be a lesson:
213
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:17,424
You can't do wrong doing right.
214
00:14:18,725 --> 00:14:20,293
On the darker side of the news...
215
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:22,629
...Surveillance cameras
in the Oakwood Library...
216
00:14:22,796 --> 00:14:26,499
...Caught the man with the most
overdue book in the city's history...
217
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:28,902
...As he sneaked
The Little Engine That Could...
218
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:32,272
...Back on the shelves
to avoid paying the fine.
219
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:34,074
Watch carefully in slow motion...
220
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:37,677
...As he distracts and almost kills
the librarian...
221
00:14:37,844 --> 00:14:39,879
...Then slips the book back on the shelf.
222
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,648
So take a good look at this man.
223
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:45,752
He's been identified
as Chicago's own Al Bundy...
224
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:51,091
...In this reporter's opinion,
a true piece of human garbage.
225
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:00,734
Dad, let me try something out on you.
226
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,804
How does this sound: Bud Smith.
227
00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,941
Yeah, Mom, we were watching.
228
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:10,410
Didn't he look good?
229
00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,280
Well, this may be
the most embarrassing thing...
230
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:15,682
...That has ever happened to this family.
231
00:15:15,849 --> 00:15:20,086
I mean, we've been training for
something like this all our lives...
232
00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:22,989
...But you're never really ready.
233
00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:27,027
Gee, let me get that. That's probably
either somebody telling me...
234
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:29,696
...I'm TIME Magazine's
Man of the Year...
235
00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,197
...Or it's Steve and Marcie.
236
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,469
Hi, Steve and Marcie. What's new?
237
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:40,040
Weren't my property values low enough?
238
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:43,476
I'm glad you got caught, Al.
239
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,945
Oh, I think we all are, Marce.
240
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:48,682
You serve as an example
for all our young readers...
241
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:51,618
...Showing them they must be
book smart, not book cheats...
242
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,720
...That the hand of justice will triumph...
243
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,790
...Even if it must reach down
to the very bowels of the earth--
244
00:16:05,031 --> 00:16:06,666
It was Steve and Marcie, Peg.
245
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:11,871
Gee, Al, do you think this means
you'll be on America's Most Wanted?
246
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,775
Why couldn't you have gotten caught
robbing a bank...
247
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,944
...Like Cindy's father?
248
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:21,147
I mean, at least she can walk around
with her head held high.
249
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:25,919
Yeah, Dad. As the lone carrier
of the Bundy seed...
250
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,589
...I foresee some lonely, seedless nights.
251
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,928
Family, first of all, it was entrapment,
so legally I feel vindicated.
252
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,529
And second...
253
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,598
...So what?
254
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:42,102
I know things look dark right now,
but this is gonna blow over.
255
00:16:42,268 --> 00:16:44,904
Who's up for a game of Yahtzee?
256
00:16:57,283 --> 00:17:01,521
Al, it doesn't matter what anyone else
thinks about you.
257
00:17:01,688 --> 00:17:05,592
I just want you to know that this hasn't
changed my feelings at all.
258
00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,195
Gee, that's nice of you, Peg.
259
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,398
Hey, you wanna go upstairs
and fool around?
260
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:13,867
No.
261
00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:24,010
Hi, Bud. Hi, Kelly.
262
00:17:24,177 --> 00:17:27,013
- It's Jim.
- And Natalie.
263
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,183
So, what's for dinner, Aunt Peggy?
264
00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:33,420
It's Ruth. Ruth.
265
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,755
Now, kids...
266
00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:39,826
...Go ahead and put your bags
in the closet, next to mine...
267
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,996
...And let's try to cheer your father up.
268
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:47,901
He's a little bit down,
what with that piece on Paul Harvey .
269
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,803
I used to like him.
270
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:51,604
Oh, now, Al, don't worry.
271
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:55,241
Honey, we've weathered
your pay checks, we'll weather this too.
272
00:17:56,242 --> 00:18:00,280
And, Al, I want you to know
that no matter how bad it gets...
273
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,982
...And I think I speak for the kids too...
274
00:18:03,149 --> 00:18:07,320
...We will not wear our bags in the house.
275
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,289
Right, kids?
276
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,924
- Well...
- I can't make promises.
277
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:14,194
There, you feel better, Al?
278
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:17,063
Where you going, honey?
279
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,565
I'm going to pay the fine.
280
00:18:18,731 --> 00:18:22,902
It'll break us, but at least we don't have
to be ashamed of who we are.
281
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:46,359
Hello, Mr. Bundy,
I've been expecting you.
282
00:18:47,093 --> 00:18:50,730
Hey, man, don't Bundy that book.
283
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,071
You're quite famous, you know.
284
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:03,309
This week, we've had 34 overdue books
returned by mail, with checks.
285
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:08,014
The children are terrified,
and treat each book like fine china.
286
00:19:08,181 --> 00:19:09,616
Mr. Bundy...
287
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:13,319
...You've become the Freddy Krueger
of the library system.
288
00:19:14,187 --> 00:19:18,491
Miss De Groot, does the word "sooey"
mean anything to you?
289
00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:22,896
Oh, children, quiet down,
or you'll wind up like this man.
290
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,232
You know, Mr. Bundy...
291
00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:28,902
...I've worked at this library for 44 years.
292
00:19:29,702 --> 00:19:33,172
I was eligible for retirement
three years ago.
293
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,674
You know why I stayed?
294
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:37,544
You learned to eat books?
295
00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,446
You're a horrible little boy.
296
00:19:41,281 --> 00:19:43,583
I kept this job for one reason:
297
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:46,619
I knew I'd nail you and I did.
298
00:19:47,453 --> 00:19:52,325
Pat Garrett got Billy the Kid,
and I finally got you.
299
00:19:52,492 --> 00:19:56,963
My job is over.
Today is my last day.
300
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:58,531
You know, it's funny...
301
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:00,800
...I could have given you
amnesty on the book.
302
00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:03,336
I would have for anybody else...
303
00:20:03,636 --> 00:20:07,040
...But I always hated you.
304
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:11,177
Is it wrong to hate a nine-year-old boy?
305
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:12,912
No.
306
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:15,515
Not when that boy is you.
307
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:20,119
It's the joy of my life to see you
grow up like I always knew you would:
308
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,189
A total and complete loser.
309
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,693
Today, when I get in my car...
310
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,028
...And leave this place for the last time...
311
00:20:29,195 --> 00:20:30,863
...I will be whole.
312
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:34,500
Your shame is my gold watch.
313
00:20:36,669 --> 00:20:38,871
So you think I'm a loser?
314
00:20:39,505 --> 00:20:41,975
Just because I have a stinking
job that I hate...
315
00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,344
...A family that doesn't respect me...
316
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,981
...A whole city that curses
the day I was born?
317
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:51,918
Well, that may mean loser to you,
but let me tell you something:
318
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,253
Every morning when I wake up...
319
00:20:54,420 --> 00:20:58,291
...I know it's not going to get any better
until I go back to sleep again.
320
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,193
So I get up...
321
00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:04,397
...Have my watered-down Tang
and still-frozen Pop-Tart...
322
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:08,468
...Get in my car with no upholstery,
no gas and six more payments...
323
00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,938
...To fight traffic, just for the privilege
of putting cheap shoes...
324
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:15,842
...On the cloven hooves of people like you.
325
00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:19,445
I'll never play football,
like I thought I would.
326
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,715
I'll never know the touch
of a beautiful woman.
327
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:27,320
And I'll never again know the joy
of driving without a bag on my head.
328
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,922
But I'm not a loser.
329
00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:31,791
Because, despite it all...
330
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:35,561
...Me and every other guy who will
never be what he wanted to be...
331
00:21:35,728 --> 00:21:38,331
...Are still out there being
what we don't wanna be...
332
00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:41,401
...40 hours a week, for life.
333
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:44,103
And the fact that I haven't put
a gun in my mouth...
334
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:46,339
...You pudding of a woman...
335
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,108
...Makes me a winner.
336
00:21:57,383 --> 00:21:58,851
No, Mr. Bundy...
337
00:21:59,052 --> 00:22:01,287
...That's what makes you a loser.
338
00:22:01,521 --> 00:22:05,425
You see, you could have made
something of your life, I suppose...
339
00:22:05,591 --> 00:22:07,493
...But you never followed through.
340
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:09,862
That's always been your problem.
341
00:22:10,029 --> 00:22:14,567
Like I always told you:
Make a promise, keep a promise.
342
00:22:14,801 --> 00:22:17,103
And maybe if you did that just once...
343
00:22:17,270 --> 00:22:18,738
...You'd be a winner.
344
00:22:19,572 --> 00:22:21,607
Thank you, Miss De Groot.
345
00:22:21,774 --> 00:22:24,877
As a matter of fact, I'm going to start
keeping promises right now.
346
00:22:25,044 --> 00:22:28,581
- You won't.
- Yes, I will.
27410
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