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1
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:23,184
I'm starving. Where's Mom?
2
00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,985
I don't know.
3
00:01:25,453 --> 00:01:27,321
Go out and play.
4
00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:31,492
- What are you hiding?
- Nothing.
5
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,695
You have food there. I know it.
6
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,964
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
7
00:01:37,898 --> 00:01:40,167
Tang residue.
8
00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,070
You glutton.
9
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:46,307
Another great morning.
10
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:50,578
Didn't sleep at all last night
with Steve's stupid car alarm going off.
11
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:54,381
Of course, then that wakes up
your mother, and I gotta talk to her.
12
00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,752
You almost lost your daddy
last night, kids.
13
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:00,621
What are you hiding?
14
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,494
- Nothing.
- Finished off the Tang on me again, eh?
15
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:12,399
Well, your dad still has a few tricks left
in his tired old body.
16
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,175
Tang wipe.
17
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,481
Good morning, everyone.
18
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,717
Boy, am I stuffed.
19
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:33,087
You know, you just gotta try
that Slam-Dunk Breakfast at Kippy's.
20
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:36,357
Pancakes, bacon, sausage, eggs.
21
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:40,728
I finally had to say,
"Stop. I can't eat anymore."
22
00:02:41,896 --> 00:02:45,199
Peg, what do you do with
all the money I give you for food?
23
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,635
I just told you.
24
00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:50,604
Peg, you wanna get that?
25
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:54,475
It's probably the homeless on their
"It Could Be Worse" tour.
26
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:02,016
Hi. I just stopped by to apologize...
27
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,785
...If Steve's car alarm
kept you up last night.
28
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:08,022
He's out of town. It's his first night
away from his new Mercedes.
29
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,391
So he set his alarm on ultra-sensitive.
30
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:13,327
The slightest touch,
and it goes off all night.
31
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,930
Does it have a brother?
32
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:20,801
Look, I'm sorry, but you can't blame him.
33
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,470
It's a magnificent piece of machinery.
34
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:25,539
- So how's it drive?
- How should I know?
35
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,841
He won't let me near it.
36
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:29,476
Consider yourself lucky.
37
00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,012
The thing you can't touch
is in the garage.
38
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,515
Mine is in the bedroom.
39
00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:41,455
Bud found a Corn Flake between the
fridge and the sink, and he won't share.
40
00:03:42,356 --> 00:03:44,992
This is ridiculous. Come on, kids.
41
00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:48,762
This may be against all my beliefs,
but I'm taking you out to breakfast.
42
00:03:49,163 --> 00:03:50,664
- All right.
- Now, kids...
43
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,367
...At the restaurant,
something strange will happen.
44
00:03:53,534 --> 00:03:56,136
A woman will bring you food.
45
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:01,442
Don't be scared.
She's called a waitress.
46
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:05,012
That's just God's alternative to mommies.
47
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,282
Boy, squabbling over a meal.
48
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,285
Thank God, Steve's a liberated man
and cooks for me.
49
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,954
Now, why don't you cook
for the family, Al?
50
00:04:14,121 --> 00:04:16,490
Mom, no. Please.
51
00:04:16,657 --> 00:04:18,125
Do you remember last summer?
52
00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,862
Tortilla night?
And the resulting plumbing problem?
53
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,564
And I thought you loved us.
54
00:04:23,731 --> 00:04:25,599
Come on, Dad.
55
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:29,370
I don't know why those tortillas
exploded like that.
56
00:04:31,238 --> 00:04:34,942
You know, sometimes I get so mad,
I could just kill that man.
57
00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,511
I like to think that I am.
58
00:04:38,579 --> 00:04:40,214
I meant Steve.
59
00:04:40,381 --> 00:04:42,783
When Al got his new car,
did he let you drive it?
60
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,351
A few times.
61
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:48,756
Once, he had no brakes, and someone
had to take it to the mechanic.
62
00:04:49,023 --> 00:04:52,326
Listen, Peggy, can I borrow your car?
I need to go to the supermarket.
63
00:04:52,493 --> 00:04:54,094
My car doesn't go there.
64
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,196
What's wrong with your car?
65
00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,298
It's in the shop.
66
00:04:58,465 --> 00:04:59,833
Just take his car.
67
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,002
It's your car too.
68
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:05,272
Look, don't let him start thinking
he can have things of his own.
69
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,141
It's the road to ruin.
70
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,143
You know, it's taken me 16 years...
71
00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:14,348
...But I am proud to say
that Al finally has nothing.
72
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:18,719
Just go for a ride
in your Mercedes, Marce.
73
00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,220
I don't know.
74
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:22,790
I'd have to change
the seat and the mirrors.
75
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:25,859
It took him weeks to set them just right.
76
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,961
What do you care what he wants?
77
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:31,031
Look, Al doesn't like me
blowing smoke in his eggs.
78
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:34,535
What am I supposed to do, stop smoking?
79
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:37,705
You're right.
80
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,139
Of course.
81
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:41,909
I'm taking his car for a drive.
82
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:43,577
You know what else I'm gonna do?
83
00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:47,548
I'm gonna change
all the preset stations on his radio.
84
00:05:47,715 --> 00:05:50,584
He's an idiot. It is my car too.
85
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,386
You know what else I'm gonna do?
86
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,957
I'll go in reverse, then shift into drive
without coming to a complete stop.
87
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,959
Oh, man.
88
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:07,968
Well, kids, that was food.
89
00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:11,405
- Could you get used to it?
- Dad...
90
00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,907
...It was cooked.
91
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:19,213
Yeah, pancakes are better like that, son.
92
00:06:20,547 --> 00:06:21,849
Hey, Mom...
93
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:25,119
...Tomorrow, could you make us some waffles?
94
00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:29,623
No.
95
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:35,529
By the way, kids, any chance of you
cleaning your rooms today?
96
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,398
- No.
- No.
97
00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,607
Hi, Marce. How'd the Mercedes drive?
98
00:06:46,774 --> 00:06:48,442
You drove Steve's Mercedes?
99
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,410
What'd you hit?
100
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,614
You know, Al, this may surprise you...
101
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:56,049
...But women today are racecar drivers...
102
00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,786
...Pilots, astronauts, anything we wanna be.
103
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,788
We're just as good as men.
104
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:02,556
What'd you hit?
105
00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,059
A fire hydrant.
106
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,995
What am I gonna do?
107
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,730
Gee, I don't know.
108
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,000
You never should have driven his car.
109
00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:15,469
Steve is gonna kill me.
110
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:19,173
I've tried every body shop in town,
and they can't fix it till next week.
111
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,609
Why bother?
I'll just tell Steve the truth.
112
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:27,014
He'll be so happy I'm not hurt, he'll put
his arms around me and forgive me.
113
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:30,050
I'm going home right now
so I can be there to tell Steve...
114
00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,819
...When he walks in the door.
115
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:36,590
Would you like to hear what happened
to me in the seventh grade?
116
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,861
Go home.
117
00:07:49,036 --> 00:07:52,172
- That's him.
- Hide me. I'll pay you.
118
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,075
He's getting out.
119
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,577
He's paying.
120
00:07:56,743 --> 00:07:59,780
Now he's going into the house--
No, no. It's the garage.
121
00:07:59,947 --> 00:08:01,882
The car's in there.
122
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:04,818
He'll never see the dent. It's too dark.
123
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,755
Marcie!
124
00:08:08,922 --> 00:08:11,458
She's in here, Steve.
125
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:17,231
Marcie.
126
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:21,235
Steve, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
127
00:08:21,401 --> 00:08:23,804
You moved my seat.
128
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,373
Yes, I did.
129
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,175
I'm sorry.
130
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:30,577
I'm so sorry.
131
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:34,681
Steve, I missed you so much.
Let's never go home.
132
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,619
No, let's not gloss over this.
You've done a bad thing.
133
00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:41,321
It took me weeks to get that seat
the way I like it.
134
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:45,759
Took almost as long as it took to adjust
the mirrors and set my radio stations.
135
00:08:46,093 --> 00:08:48,996
How long will it take to adjust
the fire-hydrant-shaped hole...
136
00:08:49,162 --> 00:08:51,665
...She put in the passenger side?
137
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:59,840
Whoops, I spoiled Marcie's surprise.
138
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:05,812
Al, did you have to tell him?
139
00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:07,681
You bet.
140
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,386
It'll be okay. It's just a dent.
141
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:17,357
What am I worried about?
142
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:21,295
My Mercedes. My baby.
143
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,164
He'll be fine. See, whenever
Steve goes away overnight...
144
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:29,369
...He returns consumed with passion.
So I just have to pretend that I am too.
145
00:09:29,536 --> 00:09:33,140
He'll forget the car, and we won't
make it out of the bedroom till Monday.
146
00:09:33,407 --> 00:09:37,144
Gee, the only time Al and I ever spent
a weekend in the bedroom...
147
00:09:37,311 --> 00:09:42,616
...Is when we were hiding from the kids,
because we forgot it was Christmas.
148
00:09:53,327 --> 00:09:54,728
Steve?
149
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,763
Pumpkin?
150
00:10:00,467 --> 00:10:03,570
I'm going to be straightforward with you.
151
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,807
I drove your car. Let's go to bed.
152
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,508
You're right.
153
00:10:08,675 --> 00:10:09,977
I'll go home first.
154
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,545
I'll light the candles...
155
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:14,448
...Put on my nightie and...
156
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,683
...Brace myself.
157
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,420
Hey, let's stop in the garage.
158
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:26,259
I haven't seen a good wreck since
I backed Al's car over our mailbox.
159
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,663
I mean, since Kelly did that.
160
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,671
My car.
161
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,540
She touched it.
162
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:43,744
Now it doesn't even feel like
it's mine anymore.
163
00:10:43,910 --> 00:10:47,714
Yeah, I know, I feel the same way
about several parts of my body.
164
00:10:49,816 --> 00:10:52,886
What am I saying?
The important thing is Marcie's okay.
165
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:54,921
I mean, it's just a car, right?
166
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:59,393
It cracked like an egg.
167
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:19,679
You see, Al, there was no screaming
over at Steve and Marcie's last night.
168
00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:22,883
But I do the smallest thing,
and you yell at me for months.
169
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:25,218
No smoked toast?
170
00:11:31,491 --> 00:11:34,661
Well, Steve forgave me.
171
00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:38,231
He's the most wonderful man in the world.
172
00:11:38,665 --> 00:11:41,268
Why can't you be more like Steve?
173
00:11:41,435 --> 00:11:44,404
And Steve's impotent.
174
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,945
My God.
175
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:55,048
Al, you are like Steve.
176
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,055
Marcie, it's only one night.
177
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,291
Give it a reasonable period of time.
178
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:08,128
You know, back in '74,
I thought Al had that problem.
179
00:12:08,295 --> 00:12:11,665
But by '79, it cleared up fine.
180
00:12:13,667 --> 00:12:16,636
But Steve is Mr. Ever-Ready.
181
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:22,542
And we tried six times last night.
182
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,445
Six times in one night?
183
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,647
Did you hear that, Al?
184
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:32,152
Hey, give me some credit.
I can fail six times too.
185
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,788
But Steve never failed before.
186
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,190
Let's get to the bottom of this.
187
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:40,727
The first time you tried,
was the light on?
188
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:44,698
- Yes.
- Well, there you go. He saw you.
189
00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:52,639
If that's Steve, please don't tell him
you know about his problem.
190
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,478
Hey, buddy. What's up? Oops.
191
00:13:04,751 --> 00:13:07,854
I hope we didn't keep you up last night.
192
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,689
Oh, dear.
193
00:13:09,856 --> 00:13:12,225
What's that in your pocket?
194
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,361
My car keys.
195
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,567
What's the matter?
196
00:13:20,734 --> 00:13:26,439
She's probably overcome by the
six times we did it last night.
197
00:13:29,543 --> 00:13:32,212
Yeah, Steve, you're a real stallion.
198
00:13:34,047 --> 00:13:38,952
Listen, what say we go down to
the ice-cream shop and get a softie?
199
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,561
I can't believe you told them.
200
00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,230
I'm sorry.
201
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:52,799
It's just that you were once a mighty oak.
202
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:56,636
- And now...
- A hanging vine.
203
00:14:01,408 --> 00:14:04,311
Excuse me. I don't wanna talk
about this anymore.
204
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:10,850
This is a temporary thing
due to overwork, stress or overuse.
205
00:14:11,284 --> 00:14:13,386
I'm not worried at all.
206
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:17,924
I'm gonna go out, pump some iron,
toss a football...
207
00:14:18,091 --> 00:14:20,427
...Let the girls see what they can't have.
208
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:22,529
I mean, because I'm married.
209
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,866
Not because I can't.
210
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,536
Because I can.
211
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:32,439
He can't, you know.
212
00:14:32,672 --> 00:14:36,776
Peggy, what can I do to make him
the sexual beast he was?
213
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,613
How would I know?
214
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,749
There must be somebody I can talk to.
215
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,453
Anybody.
216
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:52,325
Oh, God, no.
217
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,127
Well, he has been there.
218
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,663
Peggy, would you excuse us?
219
00:14:56,830 --> 00:15:00,467
I'm about to humiliate myself,
and I would prefer no witnesses.
220
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,437
Sure, Marcie, I understand.
And you're doing the right thing.
221
00:15:04,638 --> 00:15:09,376
If you want to know about a hanging
vine, come to a withered birch.
222
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,846
Take it away, Al.
223
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:19,219
Well, Marcie, what can I do for you?
224
00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,255
I need to know how to turn a man on.
225
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:26,960
Well, I'm not a plastic surgeon,
but I'll do what I can.
226
00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,333
See, Marcie, you touched Steve's car.
227
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,903
Now, what did Steve ask you not to do?
228
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:39,706
- Touch his car.
- What did you do?
229
00:15:39,873 --> 00:15:41,708
- Touched his car.
- I can't hear you.
230
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:43,743
I touched his car. So what?
231
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,445
Well...
232
00:15:45,679 --> 00:15:50,717
So you disobeyed a man, which means
you weren't doing your job as a woman.
233
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,088
See, the thing is...
234
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:58,892
...Women don't understand
that men don't really need them.
235
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,861
If you want to talk to someone,
you talk to the guys.
236
00:16:02,028 --> 00:16:04,564
You want to have some fun,
you go with the guys.
237
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:06,800
You want sex, you...
238
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,402
...Reminisce with the guys.
239
00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,806
Now, let's get back to women.
What are they for?
240
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,240
The two C's:
241
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:17,110
Cooking. Kitchen.
242
00:16:19,512 --> 00:16:23,650
Al, I'm amazed your knuckles
don't bleed when you walk.
243
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,856
- Good day, Marcie.
- I'm sorry.
244
00:16:30,023 --> 00:16:32,392
- Go on.
- Very well.
245
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:35,295
So we've established
that we don't need you.
246
00:16:35,462 --> 00:16:38,832
Now let's ask ourselves:
247
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,868
What the heck do we keep you around for?
248
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,571
It's because we're optimists.
249
00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:47,540
We believe that you can change.
250
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:51,644
The world-renowned social scientist
Mr. Hugh Hefner...
251
00:16:53,179 --> 00:16:55,482
...Has made great strides in that area.
252
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,551
Get to it, java man.
253
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:02,288
Very well. Marcie, your problem is...
254
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,724
...You're not servile enough.
255
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:08,828
If you wanna save your marriage,
you have to learn to compromise a bit.
256
00:17:08,995 --> 00:17:10,363
Put down that briefcase...
257
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,632
...Pick up a dishrag...
258
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:14,401
...And be a woman.
259
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,537
Al, I can only say this:
260
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:21,641
There may be something alive
with fewer brain cells than you...
261
00:17:22,409 --> 00:17:27,247
...But whatever it is, wherever it is,
I'm sure its name is Bundy.
262
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:29,783
You should be on all fours...
263
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:34,053
...Pulling a wagon full of borax
across the desert.
264
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,623
You're compost.
265
00:17:36,790 --> 00:17:40,693
You're phlegm.
You are a true pork product.
266
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:45,598
- You'll take my advice?
- Yes.
267
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,602
Thank you, Al, for your time and help.
268
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,571
Pig.
269
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,645
Feel good?
270
00:17:58,812 --> 00:18:00,947
Yes. But that's really not necessary.
271
00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:04,150
No, I want to.
272
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,388
It's just that I feel uncomfortable
having you do that.
273
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,491
- Want me to stop?
- No.
274
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,359
Great.
275
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,062
The potatoes are a little bland.
276
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:17,997
Where's the salt?
277
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:21,267
Didn't I bring it up
on one of my six trips?
278
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:27,607
No. But I guess I don't really need it.
279
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:31,277
Never mind. I'll get it.
No trouble at all.
280
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:02,041
Thanks, dear. You're a good wife.
281
00:19:03,009 --> 00:19:05,278
Thank you, darling.
282
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,981
What would you like to do now?
283
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,283
- Wanna talk?
- Sure.
284
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:14,420
I had the most interesting day
at work on Friday.
285
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:18,525
- I vacuumed today.
- Really?
286
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:21,327
- What else did you do?
- Well, I took a toothbrush...
287
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:25,398
...To the grout and the bathroom tile
and scrubbed out all the stains.
288
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:29,636
It was kind of therapeutic
after relining your blazers.
289
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,707
Marcie, could you turn up the heat?
290
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:36,676
Just one degree.
291
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:40,179
Sure. No trouble at all.
292
00:19:41,648 --> 00:19:46,686
And if you're still cold, I could
strap you to the radiator spread-eagle.
293
00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,623
Comfy?
294
00:19:52,659 --> 00:19:54,594
What would you like for dinner tomorrow?
295
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:58,264
I don't know. Something simple.
296
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:01,634
How about beef Wellington
and baked Alaska?
297
00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:03,169
On a work night?
298
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:07,574
I mean, I guess I could get up early
and go to the market before work.
299
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:11,811
Then at lunch, grind the liver, separate
the eggs and make the pastry dough.
300
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:15,148
I should be able to have it
on the table by eight.
301
00:20:15,315 --> 00:20:17,283
I don't like to eat that late.
302
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,253
Then I just won't sleep.
303
00:20:20,486 --> 00:20:22,655
You sure it's no trouble?
304
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:25,825
No.
305
00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:30,430
- I love to cook.
- Oh, Marcie.
306
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,498
And I love to clean.
307
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,867
Oh, Marcie.
308
00:20:35,802 --> 00:20:37,904
And I'll never touch your car again.
309
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:40,740
Oh, Marcie.
310
00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:44,744
Oh, Steve.
311
00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:48,381
Oh, Steve.
312
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:54,454
And tonight she's making me
beef Wellington and baked Alaska.
313
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:57,056
Boy, I wish I had a wife.
314
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:03,429
Steve, I'm having some problems
with the baked Alaska.
315
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:07,600
I got plain vanilla ice cream
instead of French vanilla.
316
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:10,603
That's okay.
317
00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,405
Never mind. I'll get it.
318
00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:14,874
It's just that my car is still
in the shop.
319
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,476
Can I use your--?
320
00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,546
Never mind.
321
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,348
I'll walk.
322
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:25,952
A brisk four-mile jaunt should do me good.
323
00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,289
Did I mention I wanted whipped cream?
324
00:21:30,456 --> 00:21:32,925
Oh, well. I'll send her back out.
325
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:38,564
Al, I don't know how
I can ever thank you.
326
00:21:38,731 --> 00:21:40,500
This impotence scheme of yours...
327
00:21:40,667 --> 00:21:44,604
...Has given me a wife
I never even dreamed existed.
328
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:55,581
I gotta tell you, though,
it was rough faking failure.
329
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:57,817
But thanks for the advice.
330
00:21:57,984 --> 00:22:02,555
Trying to figure out why Bruce Willis
is a star really helped.
331
00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:07,527
I got plenty of them.
332
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,395
- Did you do the salt bit?
- Yep.
333
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,065
- The thermostat?
- One degree.
334
00:22:12,231 --> 00:22:14,000
Nice twist.
335
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:16,335
How long can I play this thing out?
336
00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:19,505
Until you get the car fixed.
When are you gonna take it in?
337
00:22:19,672 --> 00:22:21,340
Couple of weeks.
338
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:24,444
Hell, maybe not for a couple months.
339
00:22:24,610 --> 00:22:27,980
After all, the dent's not even
on the driver's side.
25323
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