Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.BZ

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- I hate you. - Me too.

- Give up? - No!

- That hurt! - Good.

Boom!

Hey! Watch the glasses.

You're fucking dead!

Dig some over here, so we can make it bigger.

Okay.

- Dig here as well. - A worm!

- Worm? - Mm-hmm.

Wanna keep going?

- Can I try the shovel that you have? - No.

Are you terrible or what?

I don't have a spade shovel, I'm going to get it.

Okay.

Oh, it's terrible.

Is that the other shovel?

- Yes. - Okay.

I think this is a spade shovel.

It didn't even pierce the ground.

Do it again, do it again.

- Please, can we swap for a second? - Nope.

- Come on, can I just try it. - This shovel is mine.

End of story.

- Cut it! - It doesn't cut!

Ow... ow.

- It's my shovel. - Come on, I want to try it.

- What are you doing? - This is what happens.

Okay?

Don't!

- Ow! - Exactly.

- I hate you. - You didn't give me the shovel.

- You're mean. - No!

No, no!

- Take that! - What are you doing, boy?

- It's winter, I'm not kidding. - Slow.

- Oh, you're just faking it. - It won't stick.

Then stick it up your asshole.

The first shovel had a pointier tip.

Dude!

Remove it all.

- Excuse me. - Oh, stop it.

- My ass is very big. - Stop it!

Can you please?

We just need to keep going.

We've come so far.

- Ow! - It was an accident.

It hurt!

It's supposed to hurt.

There's no tip on this shovel.

- So, can I have it now? - No!

- Give it to me. - You had it earlier.

Ow, dude!

I'm using it! Ow!

- Shit, you're an asshole. - It's giving me goosebumps!

What?

I get goosebumps because it's so dry and muddy.

- It just happens. - Grímur, stop it. I mean it!

I'm going home if you keep acting like this.

Dude, I get goosebumps.

- Wow, see the chunk that I dug up. - I did that, you loser.

- Yes... - Grímur, stop it!

You'll just have to get used to the goosebumps.

This is my shovel!

Use this one.

Fuck, I can't.

Fucking shit.

Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?

You threw me and hit my elbow on the shovel.

- No! No! No! - Eat shit.

No!

That's right, eat shit.

- That fucking hurt. - I hate you.

- Cry me a river. - Ow, man.

- Oh, no. - What's wrong with you,

- are you a braindead frog? - That was so uncomfortable.

I'll need to take a long shower later.

Don't be a wimp.

- Keep going! - Do you know how much this hurts?

- Bob the Builder. - Dude.

Keep going!

Grímur, don't.

- I don't give a shit. - Stop! It hurts!

Ow, my ass!

I don't care if it hurts.

Hey, keep going!

I've done so much.

You haven't done anything.

- I'm the only one doing something - You're only hurting me.

A lot.

That's what I do.

Now, give me the shovel!

This is the hardest thing... I've ever done...

in my entire life.

- Isn't the hole deep enough? - Almost.

- Don't kick mud on me. - Okay.

Look at this one.

It's pretty big.

Did you know that a worm is both a woman and a man?

- So, they have a penis and a vagina? - I think so.

I read it with mum...

- Wait, don't go anywhere. - Where would I go?

"The strange thing about earthworms is that they are hermaphrodites.

This means that every earthworm is both male and female.

All earthworms produce both eggs and semen.

When earthworms procreate

they link together in a tight embrace and exchange semen.

The clitellum produces slime

which later helps form egg capsules.

The egg capsules then develop near the surface of the soil

until tiny earthworms are born."

The hole is too deep.

Shut up.

What are you boys making?

It's a secret.

Where are your hands?

- What are you wearing? - A coat.

- It's ridiculous. - You're ridiculous.

You need to hurry. Dad will kill you if you're late on your first day.

Should we go?

- I'm going to comb her properly. - Yes.

It won't make much of a difference.

But why? The wind is still blowing that way.

I love sitting on Brák.

How can you have such short legs but still weigh seventy tons?

Hey.

- Sorry. - Her body, her choice.

I totally agree with you.

But, I mean, their mum is also like this.

Okay.

What the fuck was that!

What the fuck!

- What is wrong? - This was something else.

She was also expertly doing the flying gate over here.

This was the flying gate.

Yes, the flying gate.

Bára, are you retarded?

Oh my god.

I almost fucking fell down here.

Ew, there is shit everywhere.

- What do you have there? - Candy.

Where did you find it?

In one of the pockets of these trousers.

- Give me. - What kind of candy is that?

Gummies.

Did you know that gummies are made from pig fat?

- No. - They are, it's true.

I find it a bit disgusting, if it's true, that they use pig fat to make gummies,

but I'm never gonna stop eating them because they taste so good.

Let's go.

Okay.

It's extremely cold.

Yes.

- Are you annoyed at me or something? - No.

Okay.

Holy moly.

Wait, then I'll just put this here, once more.

Where is the foot?

I told you that we should have put it through here.

Now for the feet, just touch...

Oh my god.

You have to see this, look!

This.

Oh, no.

- Ída, it's the wrong way around. - I know.

- Why are you doing it this way? - It won't fit from the other side.

I think I'm losing faith in all of this.

Losers give up.

You won't be losing your pants again.

Humm... no.

You have to hold him up while I...

- ...tie him. - Yes.

- Shit. - Þorgils, great job.

Take... look, you've broken him.

Fatso.

Okay.

Okay?

Yes.

My face is freezing.

My eyes.

Shit.

No!

What's wrong with this dude.

Ow, dude!

- Stay on your feet. - I'm going to kill you.

- Grímur... - No!

One more time.

Drilling is fun. Get off.

Wait... Þorgils, you're...

Get off.

There.

Maybe we just need... Is there a hammer around here?

Almost there.

Its head is getting flat on top.

You can't see it from here.

You just have to push it...

I don't know about this.

Yeah, no, don't stop.

- Can I try? - No.

No, hold the bike. Between the feet.

I'm not going to fall into the mud...

Yes, Grímur. You need to hammer it harder.

No, I think the head might be about to break in half.

- Dude! Hold onto the wheel! - It's completely stuck.

- No, stop, stop it! - Look at this.

- Hold it! - Then keep hammering.

- Keep holding onto the wheel. - Keep hammering.

I am hammering.

No, you're just talking.

- Keep going! - I want to kick your ass right now.

His head is turning yellow.

It's not going any further.

No, this is as far as it goes, Grímur.

- Oh, really? - There is this black thing here!

- Look! - It can go a little further down.

We just need to give him a scarf or something.

Ah, fuck.

- Ew, that's creepy. - Look at this.

- Þorgils, Þorgils... - Yes.

Is his eye leaking?

- No, no... - His nose is bleeding!

- He's like a vampire or something. - Stop it.

- Yes, that's because it's a kind of... - Þorgils!

His nose is bleeding, come on, that's cool.

Now he looks like a vampire.

- What? Do you want him to look... - See... The face...

Can you bleed from both nostrils at the same time? Is that common?

It happened to me once.

Because you get a bloody nose every second.

I hit him!

Did you see it Þorgils?

I hit his helmet!

Holy shit.

Oh my god!

- Did you see that? - Yes.

- Oh my god! - Was that all?

Yes, Þorgils. I hit the helmet and then it exploded...

- Are you sure these are the only shots? - Yes, there are none left.

Dude!

Come on, Grímur, give me a hand.

Give me a hand.

What the hell?

Dude.

What are you doing?

- Putting a wig on her. - Okay.

Ída, this isn't supposed to be a girl.

- Yes, it is. - No.

- Why not? - Because this is supposed to be a knight.

Girls can be knights too, you know.

I'm pretty sure they can't.

I agree, besides, it's just weird.

It's Joan of Arc.

Joan, do you mean Noah's arc?

- No! Joan of Arc. - Who's that?

I just know Joan in Stóralá, she worked with dad when he was a kid.

The one who picked mushrooms with us?

Joan was an incredibly powerful knight who saved France.

I've been to France once.

- Do you know French? - I've been there too!

Only a few words.

Bonjour, merci, merci beaucoup.

Which means "thanks a lot", because merci means "thanks".

Santé! means "cheers"!

- And I think Garcon means "boys". - Garcon?

C'est mon petit garcon. Fille, "girl".

Fille and Jeanne d'Arc.

- I'm not gonna shoot a girl. - I'll do it.

- Ída, you don't get to decide everything. - Sure, I do.

- It's two against one. - I'm older, so I get three votes.

- That's bullshit and it's not fair. - No, that's not fair.

No, boys. Life isn't fair.

- It wasn't fair for Joan. - What do you mean?

- She was burned alive. - Jesus.

What's "war" in French?

Don't know... But that's guerra in Spanish.

- How come you know that? - Narcos.

- I know the whole theme song by heart. - How is that?

- Dance with me boy. - Fuck.

- Okay, stay still! - Hey!

Hey!

- Ída get off. - Do you give up?

- Do you give up? - No!

- Should I go first? - No.

You said you didn't want to shoot a girl, so shouldn't I start?

He's not a girl. The guy just has long hair.

- And breasts? - They're not breasts!

Dude, have you seen the guys at the pool,

they've got bigger breasts than mum does.

- Please let me go first. - Okay.

- I'm up next. - Then me!

No, no. No, no, no!

Dad said you should never draw the bow without an arrow.

He also said we're not allowed to shoot a bow without him.

We're not using the bow then, dad isn't at home anymore.

Yes.

- Oh, ho! Right in the nuts! - Right in the nuts!

- No, right in the vagina. - Common, Ída.

What the...

- Son of a bitch.

Shit.

Fuck!

Ah, fuck off.

Pathetic.

Fucking hell.

Lift it, lift it, lift it!

I know, I know, I know.

Is she standing?

No.

Yes, she is standing, but how are we supposed to hold her up?

Hey stop, hey, hey, hey...

How should we tie her?

Wait, wait, wait. Look.

Okay, okay, okay...

- We need more string. - Don't we have more?

Fucking wind!

Where is the spring!

Ew, here, I'm going to get her.

- No, no, no, no... - Yes.

Don't shoot! It's here!

- Don't shoot! - No!

- I could hit her easily, I'm by far the best with this bow.

- Is this one from earlier? - Out of the way!

Out of the way!

- This one isn't coming loose. - No.

I was just going to remove the tip.

- More, more... - More?

- Yes, just, totally... - Fucking shit, bro.

- Just pull back on the string. - Okay, okay, okay.

- Don't be like "Oh no.." - Bling, blong, blimba, bling, blong...

- I've got this. - More.

- Hey ho! - Hey!

No!

I'm not about to lose ten thousand kronur. Two thousand.

Okay, two thousand kronur. Five thousand?

No!

Okay.

It would probably go all the way to the beach...

I'm not going to try that.

- Okay. - Okay, go away.

I'm Legolas from, what was it called again?

- I don't remember, Lord of the Rings? - I'm Legolas.

The fucking Hobbit or something.

- Are you seeing this? - You always hit that spot somehow!

I'm still Legolas.

Watch me bro.

Hey, you were so close!

Such an annoying arrow, this one.

Hurry up, Grímur. I hate waiting.

Oh my god, arrow!

Stop being such a dick.

Same spot!

Kill me.

Face.

Heart.

Shoulder.

Hell yeah.

What was that? Did it hit the helmet?

This arrow is like a wet dog.

Crossbow baby.

What... what?

- I'm not trying to be a professional. - I'll show you how it's done.

Out of the way, I'm about to shoot.

This is what we're going to do. Ready? Watch this!

I think this is better.

- Hell yeah! - Oh, shit I stepped on an arrow.

- Be careful, don't break the... - Okay, at the same time.

The bow is loaded with an arrow.

- I... - At the same time.

- I fucking hate these arrows. - Ready?

One, two, three!

The same spot!

Yo!

Holy fuck.

Look out!

- Don't shoot, I'm coming up! - Sorry, the arrow just flew away.

Look what I found!

Watch out, you could catch bird flu.

What's that?

It's this sickness which makes you puke and shit yourself at the same time.

Out of the way, I'm about to shoot.

What will you give me if I hit her in the eye?

Ten thousand kronur.

Are you being fucking serious?

That was awful.

The armour, super hard.

- Oh, shit! - It hit the armour.

What do I get if I hit her in the eye?

Ten thousand.

- Yes! - What the fuck!

Let's go!

Right in the eye, baby!

Oh, yes!

Yes!

Holy shit.

This bow is terrible.

It's so weak.

Not as weak as you.

Shut up!

I just shot the bow, what are you talking about?

If you threw an arrow at it, which would do more damage, you or the bow?

Exactly.

This is simply the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Oh okay - just kidding.

- This bow is ass. - The bow is ass? Did you see that?

- That could have killed you. - No, did you see how slow it was?

Slow? Did it not penetrate the target?

So grab an arrow.

- What do you think you're doing? - Grab an arrow.

Last time I was here with Ída, I hit it in the eye.

Like, into the eye?

Yes, what did you think I meant?

- What? - Okay.

- Yeah, right. - Ask Ída.

- What? This is a bad bow. - This is a bad bow.

Ah, dude, dude, easy, easy, easy.

Dude, are you twisting it and...

You just need to do it the right way.

Oh, what the...

- Stop, stop it, give it here. - No.

Can't use that.

Can't use that.

Yes you can use that, I just shot an arrow like that.

- Okay, then I'll start. - No.

- I might use them later. - You said that you can't use them.

You couldn't even pull them from the chick.

- I did pull them out. - No, I pulled them all out.

I pulled two from the other side.

- Yes, but not the ones that I pulled. - You also said it wouldn't work.

Give me that.

Put the arrow on.

They're not as good as the other ones.

- They're better. - No!

- Yes. - Okay, I'm going to try this one.

They're not better than the ones with the arrowheads.

Yes, the other ones with the arrowheads, the blue ones.

- Why are you holding it like that? - These are the blue ones.

- You're holding it like this. - These are the blue ones.

I mean the other ones, the ones with the arrowheads, the blue ones, the good tips.

You know, these ones have a soft tip.

That's because the tips broke off the others.

That's what I said, the two blue ones are good...

You can't even draw this bow tight.

- The string won't go tight. - No.

We have to stand right in front of Joan, so we can actually hit her.

I've hit her already, look at all the arrows...

We're kind of just standing in front of her.

Okay.

Back a little bit.

Draw the bow.

- That one went so deep inside her. - Yeah, that one hit.

It's just the arrowhead.

That's what I've been saying.

- You said the bow was bad. - Yes, the bow is also bad.

If this was your bow, you'd be all like: "Oh, my darling bow!"

- No. - Yes, you would.

You actually broke mine.

- Ída broke your bow. - Yes, you or Ída did.

Watch, Þorgils.

Look.

This is how you do it smoothly and easy.

Look at that.

That's how you do it. How many arrows have you got?

- There are no arrows left... - Sure there is, there's one in her eye.

Yes, that's because you don't let me finish my sentences.

Yes, it is bad. Yes, it is lousy.

Grímur, how about you just shut the fuck up?

Do you think mum and dad touch each other when they are naked?

Definitely not.

Not anymore, anyway.

They were probably doing it all the time, or we wouldn't be here.

Did they have to touch each other more to have two kids or twins?

Dude, no...

I'm not sure I want them to do it anymore.

I want it.

- Okay. - Why?

Because everything was more fun when they were doing it.

- I saw it once. - Oh, stop it, please...

What did you see?

No, guys, I don't fucking wanna listen to this.

- Just erase it from your mind. - That's impossible.

If I do something, I can't not do it.

And if I see something, then it's impossible not to see it.

I saw something that I found a bit strange and didn't quite understand,

but it was okay... because they enjoyed it, I think.

What's in it?

Don't know.

Try shooting straight into the air so it falls onto her head.

Uh... no, no.

You couldn't if you tried.

- Really? - Yes.

Fuck!

Oh shit! Holy fuck!

This is way too much!

- We have to put it out. - Do you have any water?

Do I have any water? No.

I don't know if I want to do this anymore.

- Why? - Feels like we're done.

- What do you mean? - I've had enough.

Don't be like that.

I feel bad over this, no joke.

Þorgils, we are honoring our ancestors. We should bow and be proud.

Oh, really...

We have Viking blood. Our forefathers were powerful Vikings

that robbed and killed the rich people in Europe

and stole the beautiful women and had children

with them in the boat they built themselves.

Yuck. Vikings are boring.

- What do you mean? - Have you ever seen a good Viking movie?

- No... - Exactly.

We still have some Viking in us, it is part of our natural purpose.

- What purpose? - War!

And playing around, of course.

- Shit, you're being weird right now. - No, listen.

Every kid knows that playing is more important than working.

And that every game is a kind of war.

Mankind is violent by nature.

Even the Bible says that war is bad but all their stories are drenched in blood.

It doesn't matter what people think of war.

War will always be with us.

Before man was even here, war awaited him,

the perfect trade, awaiting its perfect practitioner.

This is the way it was and will always...

Don't be afraid, you were born to do this.

JOAN OF ARC