All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes S02E16 Art for Hogans Sake

( theme song playing )

( bombs whistling )

( explosion )

( distant air raid sirens
wailing )

( explosion )

Corporal!

( bombs whistling )

( explosion )

( clamoring )

LeBEAU:
Right here!
Hey, Lucas!

Lucas, right here!
All right!

( shouting over each other )

Over here!

( vehicle approaching )
Ow!

General Burkhalter,
what a surprise to see you, sir.

Be careful
with that.

Pray tell, what do the
nice Germans got now?

It's too big
for a bread box.

Why, Pumpernickel
comes in all sizes.

Let's give the
colonel a word.

Carter, will you watch it?

Sorry. I'm not too
good with ears.

If you don't mind,
I've gotten used

to having one
on each side of my head.

Have a seat, fellas.

One of you is next.

No chance.

My insurance doesn't
cover haircuts.

Uh, General Burkhalter
just drove into camp, Colonel.

And he brought
a wooden crate
with him this big.

A map or something
like that, sir.

You interested?
Always.

LeBeau, report
to Klink's quarters.

Tell him Schultz told you
to wash the windows.

See what you can find out.

Oui, Colonel,
right away.

Carter.
I'm sorry.

My blood type is on
my dog tags just in case.

Oh, what an unexpected pleasure,
Herr General.

Actually, I had
no intention of
stopping here,

but there was
a bombing attack
on the road

that started
me thinking...

Oh, what a brilliant idea!

Now, only a man
of your experience...

Klink, shut up
and let me finish.

Of course,
Herr General.

Excuse me.

I suppose you are
curious about that.

Well, naturally, I...

It's a gift.

Thank you. General Burkhalter,
thank you very much.

It's not for you.

Really?

( chuckles ):
What a marvelous sense of humor.

I've just been in Paris,
uh, on military business.

Of course, of course.

While I was there,

I realized that
Goering's birthday

is only a few
weeks away.

Oh, yes, sir, I know.

I have the date
right here in my calendar.

You would.

So, knowing his interest in art,

I went to the Louvre
and borrowed this.

This is Manet's
famous painting,

The Boy with the Fife,
worth at least a half a million.

Exquisite!

Oh!

And you took it
right out of the Louvre?

Why not? France belongs to us.

KLINK:
I am sure that
Marshal Goering

will be thrilled
with this.

Yes, but until his birthday,

I would like to keep
it here in Stalag 13.

The enemy has increased
its bombing activity,

and I don't want the risk
of having it destroyed.

General Burkhalter, you have
nothing to worry about.

They never bomb
a P.O.W. camp.

That's why I came here.

I now place it
in your custody

until I return for it.

And if anything happens
to this masterpiece, Klink,

I will have the pleasure
of shooting you personally.

Oh, please, Herr
General, I-I-I-I...

It almost would be worth
losing the picture.

Very funny, General Burkhalter,
very funny.

( sotto voce ):
Filthy Boche!

All right, where is it?

Where is what?

You know
what I'm talking about.

I just came
from Klink's office.

He's angry?

Angry?
He's having kittens.

Biologically impossible.

I mean, just never could happen.

Thank you, Doctor.

All right, LeBeau,

I'm going to ask you
one more time.

Where is it?

Okay, okay.

Here it is, but I
will never give it up.

I'll die first.

LeBeau,
don't you understand?

If we don't return it,
Burkhalter will flip.

And when he does,

he'll have Klink shot
or transferred.

What happens, then?

We get a new commandant
instead of Klink,

maybe a gung-ho type.

And we're out of business.
HOGAN:
Right.

Don't you think
it bothers me

when the Krauts do
a despicable thing like this?

Filthy pigs.

I understand how you feel.

Sure. No Frenchman
ever gave up

anything worth half a million
without a struggle.

Well, maybe I was
a little hasty.

All right, let's go.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute,
I just happened to think.

We've got the painting
and they haven't.

True, LeBeau stole it.

Why should we give it up
just like that?

Well, I don't know what you got
on your mind, Colonel,

but I like
your thinking.

London's been asking
for more information

about German
antiaircraft units,

troop movements
and fortifications.

The only thing they
haven't asked for

is the key to
Berchtesgaden.

We could pick up a lot
of important information

between here and Paris.

ALL:
Paris?

It's pronounced Pa-ree,

and that's
where we're going.

He's around the bend,
you know.

He's crackers.

Carter, call
the colonel a cab.

I'll go along
with it, sir.

How do we get
to Pa-ree?

75 years ago, a man named Manet
painted us a ticket.

All leaves are canceled
until this picture is found.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

The entire camp
is on red alert.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Every prisoner
is confined to barracks

until further notice.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

( knock at door )
Come in.

Well, Hogan?
I found it, sir.

You found it!

Schultz, did you hear
that he found it?

Let's see.

Oh, Hogan,

I will never forget you
for this.

This really proves
that when people...

Is that the picture?

With a tweezer
and a little bit

of glue,
you should be able to...

I want to know who did this!

LeBeau.

Sir, I was carried away
by my love for France.

You will be carried away
once more.

Schultz,
arrange for a trial at once.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

And I promise you
this will be a fair one.

The verdict will be execution
by firing squad.

Take my advice.

Ask for an unfair trial.

Silence!
Marvelous.

The same firing squad
can take care of both jobs.

"Both jobs"?

LeBeau's execution
and yours.

I know just the man
to pick out for that.

KLINK:
Silence!

Hogan, enough of your American
sense of humor.

Well, how do you think

your pal Burkhalter's
going to react

when you hand him
that empty frame?

Cancel the firing squad.

LeBeau, do you realize

what kind of a situation
you've gotten me into?

This picture was intended
for Field Marshal Goering.

May I suggest, Herr Kommandant,

a tweezer
and a little bit of glue?

Ah, shut up!

What am I to do?

It might be possible

to duplicate the painting
from a photograph.

A good artist
could copy it.

But Colonel, the
only good copyists
are in Paris.

Oh, you're right.

Didn't occur to me.

Better forget it, sir.

No, no, no, no.

I shall go to Paris
and have it done.

I'm even willing
to pay for it.

Oh, sure, you go to Paris
in a German uniform

and ask a Frenchman
to help you,

he'd stab you first,
then talk business.

Then what?

LeBeau, you must know
a good artist in Paris.

Oh, yes, sir, there is my
friend Monsieur Verlaine.

He has copied many
of the great masters
in the museums.

Hogan, are you suggesting
that I permit you

and this cockroach
to go to Paris?

Marvelous how you put
two and two together sometimes.

Impossible.

Schultz,
who'd you have in mind

for the firing squad?

There is Willie,
and there is Fritz...

Silence, Schultz!

Hogan, can I have

your word of honor
as an officer and a gentleman

that you will not try to escape?

Absolutely. One of my men
made a mistake,

and I want to help
straighten it out if I can.

Very well, Hogan, I trust you.

However, I will keep your men
as hostage just in case.

Told you
he had faith in me.

Schultz
and Corporal Langenscheidt

will accompany you as guards.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Herr Kommandant,
there are many checkpoints

we have to pass.

I will have orders drawn up
stating

that you are taking these men
to Paris for questioning

by my authority.

Now, is there anything else?

Yes. I think it's okay
for Schultz

to cancel the firing squad.

Of course.

But, uh, Schultz,

hang on to the list of names,
just in case.

The painting
and the uniform

are under the back seat
of the car, Colonel.

Right, Kinch.

Mind the store
till we get back, huh?

Right, will
do; good luck.

Good-bye, Kinch.

Send you a postcard.

Yeah, you do that, buddy.

Good luck, Hogan.

( engine starting )

Schultz, hurry it up.

( whining )

Why do I have to wear
the general's uniform?!

We're not taking any chances.

Just in case we're stopped.

I have orders signed
by Commandant Klink.

Outside of Stalag 13,
the word Klink

means two glasses
have been knocked together.

Now, put it on.

Come on, Schultz,
it's beautiful.

I made it myself.

I don't know.

I could get into trouble.

They might send me
to the Russian front.

So what if they do?

Wouldn't you rather go
as a general than a sergeant?

That's true.

I never thought of it.

Come on, get it on.

Put one leg.

Not a bad war after
all, hey, Carl?

What about them, Sergeant?

General.

Don't worry.

I have the situation
under control.

Oh, jawohl.

Very good wine.

I hope they let
us keep France
after the war.

That's the fourth
artillery officer we've seen

and all from the same unit.

Remember, it's the 509th.

Oui, I have
it memorized.

( sighs )

Where's your friend, Verlaine?

He'll be here.
Don't worry, Colonel.

And don't call me Colonel.

It's too dangerous.

Kills me to see
those rats in Paris.

Easy, LeBeau, easy.

This could be a little trouble.

Oh, LeBeau.

( speaking French )

Monsieur Hogan,
Monsieur Verlaine.

Enchanté,
Monsieur.

Mademoiselle
Suzette.
How do you...?

Enchanté, Monsieur.
My feelings exactly.

( speaking French )

Be careful, LeBeau,
the boys are interested.

Oh, you're right.

( speaking French )

( clearing throat )

( speaking French )

Give this to boche general.

( humming )

Oh.

( bell tinkling )

( bell tinkling )

( whistle blows )

They stole it
from the museum?

Filthy assassins.

Ah, animals.

Dogs.

You forgot pigs.

( laughs )

By the way, who are
you talking about?

Germans.

I got into the
wrong conversation.

Please don't
talk like that.

You make me self-conscious.

HOGAN:
All right, look,

save your hate meeting
for later.

Get the painting
started, huh?

Oui, Monsieur.

That's right, get the pai...

Wait a minute.

This is the picture
that was burned up.

Ja. There is
something wrong here.

You're part of it. Shut up.

Now you know our
little secret, Schultz.

Ach du lieber.

It was a lie.

Oh, you're in trouble.

You're in big trouble!

If we're in trouble,
can you be far behind?

Oui. And if you
say one word,

we will tell Klink
you knew about this.

LeBeau, you wouldn't do that.

Mm, yes, you would.

We're in Paris;
you're a General.

Half smashed
on good wine,

what more do you want?

I want the truth.

That's what I want, the truth!

What is the truth,
Schultz, as you see it?

I see nothing.

I know nothing.

Thank you, General.

Allô, Suzette?
Oui.

Prepare the
canvas for me.

Ah, oui, Papa.

This will be my
greatest copy.

With this, I'll
make my contribution

to defeat the Germans.

Again, please be nice.

And you will hide the original
for us until after the war?

It is my sacred duty.

Vive la France.

Vive la France,
à bas les Bosches.

Oh, à bas les Bosches,
à bas les Bosches.

Bas les B...

What-What did he say?

You wouldn't be happy
with the translation, Schultz.

( siren wailing )

Hold it.
We've got company.

The two goons
from the cafe.

Hey, they're
stopping
right here.

Uh-huh.

The Gestapo!

Well, it ain't Robin Hood
and his merry men.

What should
we do?

Get into the other room quick.

Come on! Let's go.

Come on. So, let's
go, let's go.

You try to get rid of them, huh?

Ah, oui,
I'll do my best.

( knock at door )

MAN:
Open up!

Gestapo.

Guten Tag, Fraulein.

Bonjour,
Monsieur.

Just a routine check.

You live here alone, huh?

With my father.

Aha. Anyone else?

( laughs ):
Well...

Anyone else, Fraulein?

Well, my uncle stays
with us sometimes.

Ah, your uncle.

And perhaps a few
of his friends, ja?

Oh, Monsieur, is it
necessary to search?

You are hiding something?

SUZETTE:
No, Monsieur.

The key at once.

What is going on
here, darling?

Nothing...
darling.

Who are
these...?

Oh, I see.

They're
bully boys.

What are you doing here?

Just a routine check,
Herr General.

Achtung!

Hmm. That's what
they always say.

Raus, heraus.

How dare you come here

and disturb a general

of the Third Reich?

Only doing our duty, sir.

We had no idea
that you were...

Oh, you-you
had no idea.

( chuckles )

You didn't know

that a general

might want to
spend an afternoon

with his, uh...

with his, uh...

( clears his throat )
Niece.

Niece.

Thank you, darling.

I assure
you, General,

we had no
intention
of intruding

upon your
privacy.

No, you didn't!

I tell you something.

Should it ever happen again,

I will report you to
your superior officer,

and then to his
superior officer,

and then even
to his superior officer.

I will report you
all the way up

until it comes back to me.

And if I ever report it

to myself...

( growls )

...are you going
to be in trouble.

They have gone.

They did?

Why did you let them go?

( bottle clinking on glass )

Schultz, you were fantastic.

You saved us.

How did you ever manage
to do it?

Lucky for you,
I was loaded.

( laughter )

You are right, Sergeant,
it's not such a bad war.

( chuckles )

I'm glad
you like it.

( laughs )

Voilà. C'est fini.

It's finished, Colonel.

C'est parfait, parfait.

Oh, it's beautiful.
Merci.

Très bien, Papa.
Merci.

France will never forget
what you have done.

I salute you...

( speaking French )

I salute
you, Hogan.

My feelings exactly.

And I salute you...

Ugh, forget it.

Well, here it is,

safe and sound.

Excellent.

You see, Klink,

you can do a few simple things
right if you try.

Thank you, sir.

I am always inspired
by your example, sir.

Oh, uh, may I
ask what you're
doing, sir?

I want to look
at the painting,

if that meets
with your approval.

Of course. May I
assist you, sir?

I can manage.

Mm.

Beautiful,
just beautiful.

Well, back it goes
in its little box,

on its way to Goering.

Just a minute.

I don't know.

Looks different somehow.

Different?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, the light, maybe?

BURKHALTER:
Maybe.

The great German genius,
Colonel Klink, is in trouble.

( laughs )

He can't seem to handle
anything right, can he?

What do we do
now, Colonel?

Let's try to bail him out.
Come on, LeBeau.

( knocking )

Come in.

Yes, Hogan, what
is it? I'm busy.

Sorry, sir. We heard

that you had Manet's
famous picture,

The Boy With the Fife,
here in the office.

Well, what about it?

Well, LeBeau and I would like
to see it,

with the General's permission,
of course and yours, too.

Now, I can't have every prisoner
in the camp

come marching in here...

Wait.

A Frenchman?

Oh, very much so,

and a connoisseur
of the arts, sir.

In fact, before the war,
he was an art student.

Good. He may be of some help.

Now, the General thinks

that this painting
is somewhat different.

Perhaps you will
set him straight.

I will try, sir.

You are familiar
with Manet's work?

Oui, General.

You say you know the painting

The Boy With the Fife?

But of course. I've
seen it many times
in the Louvre.

Very good.

I want you to take a look

at this painting
and tell me

if it is the same one

you have seen hanging
in the museum.

I'm sure it is.

I didn't ask you, Klink.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Well,

it is the original painting,
isn't it?

No, sir.

This is an expert copy
of the original painting.

Copy you say?

Klink!

Yes, sir.

What has been going on here?

Are you sure?

Absolutely, but then
how could it be anything else?

What do you mean by that?

Well, I had a letter
from a friend in Paris

who told me that

the original painting
was taken away from the Louvre

by Field Marshal Goering

and that a copy hung
in its place.

This must be it.

Where is the letter?

I'm sorry, sir,

but I used the paper
to roll cigarettes.

Colonel Hogan saw it.

I certainly did.

I-I saw it, too.

KLINK:
Silence, Schultz!

Herr General,

I-I am terribly sorry
this happened, but...

You and your prisoners have
saved me great embarrassment.

Yes, sir, we...

We have?

BURKHALTER:
Do you realize

that I might have presented
this copy

to Goering as the original,

which he already has?

I would have been
a laughingstock.

Of course, sir, we-we...

we could never let that happen,
could we?

( chuckles )

I hate the idea,
but I am indebted to you.

Oh, not at all,

Herr General.

Now I have to think
of another gift for Goering.

How about a nice
do-it-yourself hari-kari kit?

KLINK:
Silence!

Herr General,

I have some wonderful
ideas for you.

Don't press your luck.

( chuckles ):
Not at all,
Herr General.

Well, there they go,

two of nature's noblemen.

( sighs )
Boy is that
Klink lucky.

You know, sometimes I wonder

how he ever got
to be a colonel.

I think somebody wants us
to lose the war.

Anything else?

We identified four separate
antiaircraft units.

Five, Colonel.
There was one hidden

in the Bois
de Boulogne.

Oh, right, right, right.

And, uh, we saw
a Panzer Division

on the road
outside of Paris

heading towards the coast.

You got some pretty valuable
information here, Colonel.

Yeah, get that off
to London, can't you?

Right away.
Let's go.

Oh, Colonel Hogan!

Colonel Hogan,
I have very good news.

Klink got caught
in the barbed wire?

No, but he gave me
a 12-hour pass

because everything went
so good for the general.

Congratulations,
Schultz.

And Sergeant Angler
is going to introduce me

to a very nice young lady
he knows in town.

Hey, how
about that?

Romeos come
in all sizes.

And I would like to ask you
for a favor.

Sure, Schultz.
What is it?

Could I borrow the uniform
I had in Paris?

Oh, of course.
Why not?

Gentlemen, may I introduce
you to my son, the General?