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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,342
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:15,271
- What purpose does a sandbag serve?
- I wanna be a cheetah.
3
00:00:15,350 --> 00:00:17,084
Are the bars necessary?
4
00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,919
You're not
mad at me,
are you?
5
00:00:28,497 --> 00:00:31,633
I'm a lion and
I eat monkeys.
6
00:00:34,704 --> 00:00:37,572
That's the only thing
I love is monkey meat.
7
00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:55,558
There's a cold breeze blowing
through Hollywood thesdays.
8
00:00:55,592 --> 00:00:58,394
You can feel it
everywhere. People
are scared.
9
00:00:58,428 --> 00:01:00,830
The Internet has
changed things.
10
00:01:00,864 --> 00:01:03,065
The old models aren't
working anymore.
11
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:06,368
Advertisers are holding
back, waiting to see where
the chips are gonna fall.
12
00:01:06,403 --> 00:01:11,741
Television executives who once
got fat sucking off the milky
tits of network largesse...
13
00:01:11,775 --> 00:01:13,976
Thank you, baby.
14
00:01:14,010 --> 00:01:17,546
Now they're on the streets
looking at hefty mortgages
and overdue car payments.
15
00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:21,551
There's blood in the
water, and it's only
gonna get worse.
16
00:01:21,586 --> 00:01:25,322
More and more people are
going straight to their
computers for entertainment.
17
00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:29,893
So, where does this leave
the cable guys, the tv
guys, the big studios?
18
00:01:29,927 --> 00:01:31,762
Well, let me
put it this way.
19
00:01:31,796 --> 00:01:33,964
There's a lot of
pants shitting going
on out there right now.
20
00:01:33,998 --> 00:01:35,665
A lot of people
are hurting.
21
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,335
It's a great time for a fast,
new company with low overhead
22
00:01:38,369 --> 00:01:39,736
to swoop in
and make a buck.
23
00:01:39,771 --> 00:01:42,372
Opportunistic...
24
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,074
Uncaring...
25
00:01:44,108 --> 00:01:47,578
Cheap. That's who we
are at funny or die.
26
00:01:47,613 --> 00:01:49,080
And here's what we do.
27
00:02:15,809 --> 00:02:18,477
Female narrator: Tonight on
funny or die presents...
28
00:02:18,511 --> 00:02:20,679
Do you want to
see a dead body?
29
00:02:20,713 --> 00:02:23,949
With special guest,
Ben stiller.
30
00:02:25,018 --> 00:02:28,020
Brick novax's diary.
31
00:02:28,054 --> 00:02:33,258
Tim and Eric's animal choices
with John c. Reilly
and wilbur ferrell.
32
00:02:33,293 --> 00:02:37,964
And the amazing
adventures of
David & jennie.
33
00:02:42,970 --> 00:02:45,805
I don't know how the
game is, 'cause I'm lost.
34
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:48,474
Well, then don't chew doritos
when I'm talking to you, okay?
35
00:02:48,509 --> 00:02:50,243
No, no. If you say
I should have a GPS,
36
00:02:50,277 --> 00:02:51,578
I assume that then
you're gonna follow-up
on that.
37
00:02:51,612 --> 00:02:53,713
I wouldn't even know
what a GPS looks like.
38
00:02:56,984 --> 00:02:58,351
Hey, Ben.
39
00:02:58,385 --> 00:03:00,153
Hey.
Hey, it's me, rob.
40
00:03:00,187 --> 00:03:02,288
Rob, hey.
Yeah, how's
it going?
41
00:03:02,323 --> 00:03:04,925
I'm good. How
are you doing?
Who are you
talking to?
42
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:06,560
My numskull
assistant, Reggie.
43
00:03:06,595 --> 00:03:08,562
Oh, Reggie's great.
I'll call you back.
44
00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:10,097
Why are you in
this part of town?
45
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,700
I was trying to go to
the laker game and, uh,
you know...
46
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,401
Oh, we're not close.
47
00:03:14,436 --> 00:03:15,870
Do you know where
it is, 'cause I...
48
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,005
Hey, lete ask
you a question.
Yeah.
49
00:03:18,039 --> 00:03:19,573
Do you wanna see
a dead body?
50
00:03:26,648 --> 00:03:28,082
Not much further now.
51
00:03:28,116 --> 00:03:30,085
Why am I blindfolded?
Please don't
take that off.
52
00:03:30,119 --> 00:03:32,721
It's just better if
you don't know exactly
where you're going.
53
00:03:32,788 --> 00:03:34,456
You smell that?
54
00:03:34,490 --> 00:03:36,358
We had a bunch of gas
back here last night.
We were having a party.
55
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,994
You know what?
I get carsick if
I don't sit forward.
56
00:03:39,028 --> 00:03:41,496
Oh, you are. You're
facing the front.
57
00:03:41,530 --> 00:03:43,865
Really?
Yeah, you're
facing the front.
58
00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:47,269
Rob, if we go
by staples...
59
00:03:47,303 --> 00:03:49,571
If it's cool with you,
I'd rather just get out
and go to the game...
60
00:03:49,639 --> 00:03:52,440
Yeah, yeah. If we go
right by there, I'd just
love to drop you off.
61
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:55,478
Hello?
62
00:03:55,512 --> 00:03:58,247
Reggie, what's up?
You're there?
63
00:03:58,315 --> 00:04:00,983
Meet me at will call...
When are we gonna be there,
like 10 minutes?
64
00:04:01,018 --> 00:04:02,818
Uh, yeah, sure.
65
00:04:02,853 --> 00:04:04,153
He's saying like
10 minutes or
something like that.
66
00:04:04,187 --> 00:04:05,554
Tell him I said, "hi."
67
00:04:05,622 --> 00:04:06,856
How is his dong?
68
00:04:06,890 --> 00:04:09,659
How's my dong?
69
00:04:09,693 --> 00:04:12,662
He's laughing.
Tell him it's
long and strong.
70
00:04:12,696 --> 00:04:13,796
Long and strong.
71
00:04:13,830 --> 00:04:15,331
That was good.
72
00:04:15,365 --> 00:04:18,601
Yeah, I'm not
gonna do this.
I gotta go. Bye.
73
00:04:18,669 --> 00:04:21,872
So, I'm up for this olive
garden commercial.
Mmm-hmm.
74
00:04:21,906 --> 00:04:23,941
You been going out
on aitions
or anything?
75
00:04:26,044 --> 00:04:30,213
No, I don't really...
I don't audition too
much anymore.
76
00:04:30,248 --> 00:04:33,016
How do I get that
going? That sounds
like a... oh, shit.
77
00:04:34,719 --> 00:04:35,852
Be cool.
78
00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:43,427
Hey guys. Uh, can you
guys tell me where the
staples center is?
79
00:04:43,461 --> 00:04:45,395
Staples center?
I wish I knew.
Staples center...
80
00:04:45,430 --> 00:04:47,532
It is something that
we're looking for also.
Yeah.
81
00:04:47,566 --> 00:04:49,467
- All right, well,
thanks, guys.
- Thanks, man.
82
00:04:49,501 --> 00:04:51,869
See ya later.
All right. Okay.
83
00:04:51,904 --> 00:04:56,274
It's funny, I feel...
I know, I feel bad,
'cause I got like nervous.
84
00:04:56,308 --> 00:04:59,010
A black guy is not just
immediately a robber.
85
00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:01,379
Oh, I forgot.
Give me your mother
fucking wallets.
86
00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:09,320
Ugh. I'm out 60
bucks, man.
87
00:05:09,355 --> 00:05:10,888
How about 10,000
fucking bucks?
88
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:14,593
$10,000?
89
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,533
You're not mad
at me, are you?
90
00:05:29,009 --> 00:05:30,642
Oh, check it out.
What?
91
00:05:30,677 --> 00:05:32,544
Someone spray-painted
a dick on the wall.
92
00:05:32,579 --> 00:05:35,481
I don't wanna...
You know what?
That's not cool. Okay?
93
00:05:35,515 --> 00:05:37,216
It's a dick.
94
00:05:37,250 --> 00:05:39,519
Rob, I don't
give a shit.
Okay?
95
00:05:39,553 --> 00:05:40,987
What are you mad at?
What were you...
96
00:05:41,022 --> 00:05:43,790
I'm mad at you for
wasting my time!
97
00:05:43,824 --> 00:05:45,692
Ooh, we're gonna
see a dead body.
98
00:05:45,726 --> 00:05:47,761
Ooh, what are we
fucking eight?
99
00:05:47,795 --> 00:05:50,897
Ow! Shit.
What?
100
00:05:50,931 --> 00:05:53,099
What happened?
I fucking
twisted my ankle.
101
00:05:53,134 --> 00:05:54,801
God. Shit.
Stay here.
102
00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:56,036
Don't make any noise.
103
00:05:56,070 --> 00:05:58,038
Just be really quiet.
What're you doing?
104
00:05:58,072 --> 00:06:00,373
Be quiet. I'll be back.
No, come back!
105
00:06:00,408 --> 00:06:01,741
Fuck!
106
00:06:01,776 --> 00:06:05,446
Oh, thank God.
Thank God.
I need help.
107
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:07,481
My friend,
I need help.
108
00:06:07,516 --> 00:06:11,085
I'll help you, baby.
I'll put your balls
in my mouth.
109
00:06:15,357 --> 00:06:16,924
Why not?
110
00:06:21,663 --> 00:06:23,397
What took you so long?
111
00:06:23,432 --> 00:06:24,965
Don't worry about it.
112
00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:37,479
Oh.
113
00:06:37,513 --> 00:06:41,450
I didn't think we were
actually gonna find
a real dead body.
114
00:06:41,484 --> 00:06:43,618
I thought it was gonna
be like, you know...
115
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,754
You and I go
looking for this
116
00:06:45,788 --> 00:06:48,990
thing that we never find,
but in the journey
of looking for it,
117
00:06:49,025 --> 00:06:52,394
we were gonna form
some sort of unlikely
friendship and, you know,
118
00:06:52,428 --> 00:06:55,965
we'd learn some other lesson
that had nothing to do with
actually seeing a corpse.
119
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,733
That did happen.
120
00:06:57,768 --> 00:07:00,203
No, it didn't.
121
00:07:00,237 --> 00:07:02,839
We should go get
a closer look.
I'm not going to.
122
00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:04,674
Yeah, you are.
123
00:07:04,708 --> 00:07:08,377
Rob, that's disgusting.
You shouldn't...
The water's...
124
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:10,780
Oh!
125
00:07:12,483 --> 00:07:13,783
I gotta go.
126
00:07:13,817 --> 00:07:15,985
This is beautiful.
It's not.
It's horrible.
127
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:19,188
Come on...
This is beautiful.
This is life!
128
00:07:19,223 --> 00:07:21,024
This is not your
Hollywood bubble.
129
00:07:21,059 --> 00:07:23,861
What're you talking
about? I'm not...
This is important!
130
00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:25,262
We owe it to this guy.
131
00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:27,898
No, we don't.
We don't know him.
He's dead.
132
00:07:27,932 --> 00:07:29,199
You're dead!
133
00:07:29,234 --> 00:07:31,135
Wh are you doing
with your life right now?
134
00:07:31,169 --> 00:07:33,003
What? Get it together?
Is that what you're
telling me?
135
00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:35,172
You're gonna
give me a speech,
like everybody else?
136
00:07:35,206 --> 00:07:38,375
Get your shit together.
I got my shit together!
137
00:07:39,544 --> 00:07:41,211
Look at him.
138
00:07:41,246 --> 00:07:42,379
No, rob, don't touch him.
139
00:07:42,413 --> 00:07:44,114
No, no, no,
what are you doing?
140
00:07:44,149 --> 00:07:46,150
That's horrible.
Don't do that.
141
00:07:46,184 --> 00:07:48,686
Just leave it alone.
142
00:07:53,592 --> 00:07:55,326
We owe it to him.
143
00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:01,866
I'm so sorry.
144
00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:06,371
I just wanted my friend,
Ben stiller, to see you.
145
00:08:09,108 --> 00:08:14,113
Ben, look upon
him. Please?
Look upon him!
146
00:08:15,282 --> 00:08:17,049
This is you
in one month!
147
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,251
My name...
148
00:09:23,285 --> 00:09:24,552
Brick novax.
149
00:09:32,862 --> 00:09:35,764
I'm known for two things.
150
00:09:35,798 --> 00:09:42,337
My many heroic exploits
and my legendary
prodigious substance intake.
151
00:09:42,372 --> 00:09:45,807
Now, with two weeks
left to live,
152
00:09:45,842 --> 00:09:48,343
I've holed up here
in the Clyde motel
153
00:09:48,378 --> 00:09:51,546
to record my memories
and preserve my legacy.
154
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,016
This is my life.
155
00:09:54,050 --> 00:09:55,285
This is
156
00:09:55,319 --> 00:09:57,920
brick novax's diary.
157
00:10:16,340 --> 00:10:18,841
This is another
entry in my diary.
158
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:21,712
I wanna talk about
some time ago, when
159
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:24,381
I was the biggest
folk singer in the world.
160
00:10:24,416 --> 00:10:27,484
♪ You've got to
always be yourself
161
00:10:28,987 --> 00:10:33,390
♪ don't put your
dreams up on a shelf
162
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:38,329
♪ they'll say that you
got to pretend
163
00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:42,433
♪ but remember the dolphins
are our friends ♪
164
00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:46,036
My song about dolphin
awareness was an
overnight sensation.
165
00:10:46,071 --> 00:10:53,044
It was beloved the world over
by men, women, children
and not surprisingly dolphins.
166
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,948
I was immediately
contacted by flip Michaels,
167
00:10:56,982 --> 00:10:59,351
controversial manager
of the go-go swingers.
168
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,922
What would you say
if I were to tell you
169
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:07,459
i could secure you a slot on
the trip Michaels' show?
170
00:11:07,493 --> 00:11:10,128
Trip Michaels was
flip's twin brother.
171
00:11:10,162 --> 00:11:12,732
The trip Michaels' show was
the biggest show in the biz.
172
00:11:12,766 --> 00:11:15,034
And I mean any biz,
friends of mine.
173
00:11:15,068 --> 00:11:16,435
I quickly signed
the contracts,
174
00:11:16,470 --> 00:11:18,237
then trip showed me
his collection of
175
00:11:18,271 --> 00:11:19,939
Big game trophies.
176
00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:22,007
Holy. God damn. Fuck.
177
00:11:22,042 --> 00:11:27,012
All you have to
do is sing my song,
dolphins are overrated.
178
00:11:27,047 --> 00:11:30,850
And you're guaranteed
to be a legend.
179
00:11:30,884 --> 00:11:34,587
The contracts were
iron-clad so he had me
over a barrel
180
00:11:34,621 --> 00:11:37,423
like a wet monkey
in a rented squirrel suit.
181
00:11:37,457 --> 00:11:40,861
Hours before the show,
I decided to have a
chupacabra 14
182
00:11:40,895 --> 00:11:44,898
at my favorite bar,
the intoxication station.
183
00:11:44,932 --> 00:11:46,366
Hey, stranger.
184
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:49,002
It was legendary soul
singer, Maxine staton.
185
00:11:49,036 --> 00:11:51,071
She'd seen her
share of troubles.
186
00:11:51,105 --> 00:11:53,373
Don't you have a show
to do, brother man?
187
00:11:53,408 --> 00:11:55,041
Affirmative, sister.
188
00:11:55,076 --> 00:11:58,412
But I seemed to be
caught between a bolder
and an unbreakable region.
189
00:11:58,446 --> 00:11:59,980
I spilled her my yon,
190
00:12:00,014 --> 00:12:02,816
how flip Michaels tricked
me into singing his tune,
191
00:12:02,850 --> 00:12:06,554
that there was absolutely
zero that this cat could do.
192
00:12:06,588 --> 00:12:09,357
There's always something
you could do, my brother.
193
00:12:09,391 --> 00:12:14,762
♪ 'Cause if you're
in the wrong situation
194
00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:21,202
♪ remember, baby, life
is your own creation ♪
195
00:12:21,236 --> 00:12:23,704
Right on. That's all
I needed to hear.
196
00:12:23,739 --> 00:12:26,607
Uh, Mr. novax,
welcome to the program.
197
00:12:26,642 --> 00:12:30,546
Now before you sing
you're newest song,
dolphins are overrated...
198
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:32,381
I'm not singing
any fucking song.
199
00:12:32,415 --> 00:12:33,916
What? I don't
understand.
200
00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:36,351
Oh, I think you
do, superstar.
201
00:12:36,386 --> 00:12:39,021
You and your brother
seem to think this
world runs on money.
202
00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:42,324
Well, maybe that's true,
but that doesn't mean
I have to sing a song
203
00:12:42,358 --> 00:12:46,962
that denigrates the rights
of dolphins simply to make
a buck or advance my career.
204
00:12:46,996 --> 00:12:50,032
You, sir, are a
phony and a fake,
205
00:12:50,066 --> 00:12:51,900
and so is your brother.
206
00:12:51,935 --> 00:12:55,404
Sir, I will kindly ask you
to leave this program.
207
00:12:55,438 --> 00:12:58,875
Just like that I was
out of showbiz forever.
208
00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:06,683
Flip Michaels saw to it that
I never recorded another note
commercially in my life.
209
00:13:06,717 --> 00:13:10,854
But that's okay,
chums, because even
if you're sitting down,
210
00:13:10,888 --> 00:13:14,491
sometimes you gotta stand up
for what you believe in.
211
00:13:14,525 --> 00:13:19,496
You miss those moments and
you miss out on the whole
enchilada of existence.
212
00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:22,967
That's it for this entry
of brick novax's diary.
213
00:14:07,914 --> 00:14:14,186
Did you know there were
265 bones in the human body?
214
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:17,790
Would you like one more?
215
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:18,925
Huh?
216
00:14:29,102 --> 00:14:30,202
Cheer up.
217
00:14:42,617 --> 00:14:45,085
Hey, John.
What are
you doing?
218
00:14:46,187 --> 00:14:48,221
I'm thinking
about something.
219
00:14:49,324 --> 00:14:50,891
Can you share
it with me?
220
00:14:50,925 --> 00:14:53,961
I'm trying to decide
221
00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:57,698
what kind of animal
I would be if I could
be an animal.
222
00:14:57,732 --> 00:14:59,933
That's what
everyone's thinking!
223
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:01,435
Let's just both
think out loud.
224
00:15:01,469 --> 00:15:02,603
What sort of animal
we'd like to be?
225
00:15:02,637 --> 00:15:04,372
Exactly.
Okay.
226
00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:08,810
The snake
or baby snake.
227
00:15:08,844 --> 00:15:10,745
Horse. Pony.
A mouse with a pouch.
228
00:15:10,779 --> 00:15:11,946
Any sort of fish.
Zebra!
229
00:15:11,981 --> 00:15:13,881
Zebra!
No, I said...
230
00:15:13,916 --> 00:15:15,783
Zebra!
Zebra.
231
00:15:15,818 --> 00:15:18,353
Are you gonna
say the animal?
Don't say it...
232
00:15:18,387 --> 00:15:20,355
Baboon!
233
00:15:20,389 --> 00:15:22,590
Barbara, the
name, Barbara.
234
00:15:22,625 --> 00:15:24,125
We're not getting anywhere.
235
00:15:24,159 --> 00:15:25,827
It's literally
the hardest thing
I've ever done.
236
00:15:25,861 --> 00:15:27,028
I know!
237
00:15:42,145 --> 00:15:44,913
♪ I'm a monkey
I'm a little, little monkey
238
00:15:44,948 --> 00:15:46,815
♪ I like to jump around
I like to look
239
00:15:46,850 --> 00:15:50,819
♪ down from my high up
on the tree post
240
00:15:50,854 --> 00:15:52,321
♪ I like to eat fruit
241
00:15:52,355 --> 00:15:55,157
I'm a little monkey.
242
00:15:58,663 --> 00:16:01,765
♪ I'm a lion and
I eat monkeys
243
00:16:04,368 --> 00:16:07,971
♪ That's the only thing
I love is monkey meat
244
00:16:09,907 --> 00:16:14,344
♪ but I love when they cry
when they're in my teeth ♪
245
00:16:14,378 --> 00:16:17,881
Is this... what purpose does
the sandbag serve?
I wanna be a cheetah.
246
00:16:17,915 --> 00:16:19,416
Are the bars
necessary?
247
00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:20,984
It's called being keyed out.
248
00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:22,653
And we're in an
animated world, and...
249
00:16:22,688 --> 00:16:24,488
Yes.
You're the animals and the
animated world's behind you.
250
00:16:24,523 --> 00:16:25,756
You have to
be very steady.
251
00:16:25,791 --> 00:16:27,425
Okay.
Couldn't we have
something that was
252
00:16:27,459 --> 00:16:31,028
the same color that
wasn't 15 pounds?
Yeah, like a piece of paper...
253
00:16:31,063 --> 00:16:34,231
You know what
happens then?
It sags.
254
00:16:34,266 --> 00:16:36,634
All right. Should we
take a run at it?
255
00:16:36,668 --> 00:16:38,069
And action!
256
00:16:38,103 --> 00:16:39,370
Now, guess what?
257
00:16:39,404 --> 00:16:41,706
I'm gonna shit that
monkey out of my ass.
258
00:16:47,714 --> 00:16:50,615
I'm a little monkey.
259
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:52,050
I'm gonna eat
you up again.
260
00:16:57,156 --> 00:16:59,658
♪ I've got
an appetite for monkeys
261
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:03,829
♪ all day long,
I eat and shit monkeys
262
00:17:03,863 --> 00:17:07,399
♪ all day long, 'cause
I'm a king of the beasts
263
00:17:10,737 --> 00:17:13,206
♪ thus is the cycle of life ♪
264
00:17:20,914 --> 00:17:22,682
I'm a little monkey.
265
00:18:25,614 --> 00:18:27,448
I knew this kid who...
266
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:28,583
I'll get it.
267
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,088
Hello, how are you
268
00:18:33,123 --> 00:18:37,393
Hello.
I will take two thin mints
and them digits.
269
00:18:37,427 --> 00:18:39,962
He's not a girl scout,
you chauncey.
270
00:18:39,996 --> 00:18:42,998
He's here because he saw
my ad on craigslist.
271
00:18:43,033 --> 00:18:48,871
As promised, this captain
buttfist first issue is in
nearly mint condition.
272
00:18:48,905 --> 00:18:51,207
That's... that is
not why I'm here.
273
00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:55,044
Huh?
Do you two ever think about
what happens after we die?
274
00:18:55,078 --> 00:18:56,246
All the time.
275
00:19:04,288 --> 00:19:08,124
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Everything's fine.
276
00:19:08,159 --> 00:19:10,126
You just seem
a little bit distant.
277
00:19:15,633 --> 00:19:16,800
No.
Okay.
278
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:24,442
Oh, Abe.
279
00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:28,212
Um... what if Jesus
came back tonight?
280
00:19:28,247 --> 00:19:29,480
What time, like 8:00?
281
00:19:29,514 --> 00:19:31,949
Can we make it like 7:00?
282
00:19:31,984 --> 00:19:35,486
Uh, sure, sure. If Jesus
came at 7:00 tonight,
283
00:19:36,421 --> 00:19:37,955
where would you go?
284
00:19:37,990 --> 00:19:40,091
Oh, definitely
Gabe and mustard's.
285
00:19:40,125 --> 00:19:41,893
No doubt about it.
286
00:19:41,927 --> 00:19:44,795
Gabe and mustard's
is the place to be!
287
00:19:44,830 --> 00:19:47,531
They've got the
coolest games.
288
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:49,635
Score!
289
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:52,337
I love the friendly staff.
290
00:19:52,372 --> 00:19:53,538
I get off at 8:00.
291
00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:58,210
But best of all
and my favorite.
292
00:19:58,244 --> 00:20:02,180
The prize hall!
293
00:20:02,215 --> 00:20:04,650
♪ Gabe and mustard's and you ♪
294
00:20:04,684 --> 00:20:07,152
And me?
That's what I said!
295
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,929
Um, I'm gonna have the
moo shu chicken chops.
296
00:20:15,963 --> 00:20:18,097
And for you, David?
297
00:20:18,132 --> 00:20:21,801
Um, I'm going to have
one of everything.
298
00:20:26,907 --> 00:20:31,311
No, I'm gonna have
Gabe's flaky steaks and...
299
00:20:31,345 --> 00:20:32,545
Say it.
300
00:20:33,547 --> 00:20:34,847
Also...
301
00:20:35,649 --> 00:20:36,749
Your
302
00:20:38,652 --> 00:20:42,323
phone... favorite side dish.
What's your favorite side
dish on here?
303
00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:46,293
Um, I'm a big fan of the
cheese gobblers, with
Gabe's secret knob sauce.
304
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:50,030
Mmm. That sounds real
good. I'm gonna have
that. That's perfect.
305
00:20:51,533 --> 00:20:53,334
Thank you.
Thank you, Sandra.
Thanks, Sandra.
306
00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:56,337
David, you gotta
get them digits!
307
00:20:56,371 --> 00:20:57,905
I know.
What are
you waiting for?
308
00:20:57,939 --> 00:21:01,942
I'm waiting for the right time
and when that time comes...
309
00:21:01,977 --> 00:21:05,814
Look out, because
I'm gonna seize it.
310
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:09,617
Speaking of time,
that Jesus guy is crazy
tardy for the party.
311
00:21:10,886 --> 00:21:14,422
Oh, oh, oh.
It's like my wiener.
312
00:21:14,457 --> 00:21:16,758
Please get
away from me.
313
00:21:16,792 --> 00:21:18,960
Oh, what's happening?
Oh, where's it gonna go?
314
00:21:18,995 --> 00:21:20,395
Do you wanna squeeze
my mustard bottle?
315
00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:21,663
Come on, give it
a little squeeze.
316
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,799
Oh, are you having
an asthma attack?
I have an inhaler.
317
00:21:24,834 --> 00:21:27,002
No, just getting
pumped up.
318
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:29,070
Oh, cool for
video games?
319
00:21:30,172 --> 00:21:31,607
For confrontation.
Don't worry.
320
00:21:31,641 --> 00:21:33,876
Oh, okay. Don't do
something dumb.
321
00:21:33,910 --> 00:21:35,911
Okay, just no.
Get away from me.
I like the way
your body looks.
322
00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:38,047
Hey, hey, cut that out!
Are you all right?
323
00:21:38,081 --> 00:21:40,649
No.
Hey, I'll say when
she's all right!
324
00:21:40,684 --> 00:21:41,851
Who are you
supposed to be, guy?
325
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:43,285
I'm your worst
nightmare.
326
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:44,353
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
327
00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:45,988
Well, you
don't look like
a velociraptor.
328
00:21:46,023 --> 00:21:47,990
Wow, this is really great
for me. You don't understand.
329
00:21:48,025 --> 00:21:51,894
I've always wanted
to meet the guy who put
the "turd" in mustard.
330
00:21:51,928 --> 00:21:55,498
Well, now you've met
the man who puts the
"turd" in mustard!
331
00:21:55,532 --> 00:21:58,602
Me! I put my turds
in mustard.
332
00:22:00,872 --> 00:22:04,508
What's your point?
My point is that you've got
two options here, buddy.
333
00:22:04,542 --> 00:22:06,510
Oh? List 'em.
List all of 'em.
All right...
334
00:22:06,544 --> 00:22:08,445
One, you get your butt...
335
00:22:08,479 --> 00:22:10,047
Is one of your
options? Huh?
336
00:22:10,081 --> 00:22:11,515
Oh, and here's
another option!
337
00:22:11,549 --> 00:22:16,019
I've got two options
for you! Oh.
Whoa!
338
00:22:16,054 --> 00:22:18,121
Oh, my
God. He's dead.
339
00:22:24,229 --> 00:22:26,831
Where am I?
You're in
heaven, David.
340
00:22:26,865 --> 00:22:29,300
Heaven? No.
341
00:22:29,334 --> 00:22:31,235
Can I go back?
342
00:22:31,270 --> 00:22:33,237
Why would you
wanna go back?
343
00:22:33,272 --> 00:22:34,806
I'm in love
with someone.
344
00:22:44,183 --> 00:22:45,683
I completely understand.
345
00:22:48,188 --> 00:22:49,955
You're emancipated.
346
00:22:49,989 --> 00:22:51,156
Thank you.
347
00:23:12,512 --> 00:23:15,482
That body cannot
tell a lie.
348
00:23:16,183 --> 00:23:17,417
David?
349
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,020
David?
350
00:23:22,189 --> 00:23:23,857
David, are you okay?
351
00:23:25,192 --> 00:23:28,228
No, I'm not okay.
352
00:23:28,262 --> 00:23:31,331
You gotta give me
them digits, Sandra.
353
00:23:31,365 --> 00:23:32,665
I thought you'd never ask.
354
00:23:33,834 --> 00:23:36,970
Now, that's what
I'm talking about.
355
00:23:37,004 --> 00:23:39,974
And this is what
I'm talking about.
356
00:23:40,008 --> 00:23:44,678
Here at Gabe and mustard's,
every Monday is fun day.
357
00:23:44,713 --> 00:23:47,081
Wear hat and get
a free game card.
358
00:23:49,251 --> 00:23:51,785
Making baskets!
359
00:23:51,820 --> 00:23:53,220
Yes!
360
00:23:53,255 --> 00:23:56,824
Gabe and mustard's
and you!
361
00:23:56,858 --> 00:23:58,058
And me?
362
00:23:59,261 --> 00:24:00,528
Yes, you Jesus.
363
00:24:00,562 --> 00:24:03,464
We just said Gabe
and mustard's and you.
364
00:24:03,498 --> 00:24:06,101
You know what?
I quit! I quit!
365
00:24:18,314 --> 00:24:22,083
We did it. See you
next week.
366
00:24:26,878 --> 00:24:37,220
Sync by mczolly
www.addic7ed.com
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