Original subtitles

[Shatters]

Pep, don't you think you'd better take it easy on the Tequila?

You're really getting loaded.

You want me to blow my cover? I'm supposed to be a lush.

Hi. Hi. Hi.

They're not here.

You know, I think you got them in your brassiere. So why don't you, uh, disrobe?

Pep, looks like he's got us.

- What do you mean "us?" - They brought the cops.

-Aah! -Oh, yeah!

[Theme music playing]

-Oh, good morning. -Can I help you?

[Doorbell buzzes]

If you want my advice, you'll save yourself a few dollars and pick this one.

It's got the same movement, the same number of jewels,

you'll be getting the same kind of quality without having to pay for all the extras.

[Gasps]

All right, stay right where you are.

Everybody, freeze.

That's real fine, people.

Now I want everybody to move right over here.

-Come on, I said, move! Mrs. Elliot: Uh.

- Come on, lady, move. - Take your hands off me.

Don't you touch her!

I hope you all die for this! I hope you all die!

-Shut up. -Aah!

[Shatters]

Okay.

[Coughs]

- Are you alright, darling? - Please never mind that now.

[Coughs]

Please, will somebody please call the police?

You didn't get me a kosher dill pickle.

Yes, I did.

I ordered it.

Nobody ever listens anymore.

Crowley: She's got a great set of fingers, hasn't she?

-You're relieved. -How come?

Lieutenant marsh wants to see you and sergeant Anderson right away.

Lieutenant marsh, is it?

Yeah, you say the word and we'll come rushing right down here.

Even if it's in the middle of the night, we'll hop right in the car

and we'll get down here in 60 seconds flat.

-Well, I don't think... -no, I mean it. I mean it, lieutenant.

Uh, Mr. Victor and I, we've always had great respect for law and order.

Even when it concerned other people. Fine.

40 years and no one even took a piece of worthless junk costume jewelry.

Now, they've taken everything.

-Hey, Paul. -Hi.

Okay, I want you two to go home and try to relax. We'll be in touch.

Uh, uh, lieutenant, um, remember what I just told you.

They had a woman with them. I'm sure of it.

Maybe it's part of their modus operandi.

-Yeah, we'll be in touch. -Thank you.

Mr. and Mrs. Samuel b. Victor.

Home in Beverly Hills, Rolls-Royce

and, suddenly, they think they're paupers.

I don't know why everybody expects sympathy.

Nobody gets it from their doctors anymore.

At 50 bucks a throw. What do they expect from me?

Well, you know you've got a heart of gold, Paul.

What about insurance?

The stuff that was taken was on memo from a dealer in New York.

What about consignment insurance?

They had insurance for 100,000, but the take was well over half a million.

Oh. Then they really are paupers.

Pepper, I hear you know something about jewels.

Uh-huh.

-Can you loupe a stone? -Yeah.

Um, forget about that lousy stakeout.

I'm borrowing you both for robbery-homicide.

What've you got, Paul? Anything?

I think we do. We'll know in a few hours.

[Doorbell rings]

Okay, hold on. Just a minute.

Uh, let me guess.

Crowley: Open up in the name of the law.

I knew it.

I woke you up.

Oh, no. I was up baking brownies, at two o' clock in the morning, just as usual.

Well, don't just stand there hating me.

Go get some clothes on.

I see you brought the Mr. and Mrs. Bag.

Do you want to give me some kind of hint as to what kind of climate I have to pack for?

-Think tacos. -Oh, ho, ho, ho.

Marsh is sending us all the way to sunny Mexico.

That's great.

But why does he always have to send us someplace in the middle of the night?

I don't know, honey. I'm only a sergeant. Go get dressed.

For a taco I'll do it.

Uh, you want to be a little more specific? Where in sunny Mexico?

Did you ever hear of masiaca?

Uh, I think the last time I had it, the fever went down in about three days.

Crowley: Masiaca is in the southeast corner of sonora.

It's not too heavy on tourists,

but marsh said it's a wonderful place for a honeymoon.

Well, don't just sit there like a blushing bridegroom.

Come on up and help me pack.

-Who are we this time? -Oh, the ordways.

Mr. and Mrs. Ralph g. Ordway.

Sounds wholesome enough.

Yeah, well, they're a couple of pretty good Jewel fences.

They took a little business trip to Paris and ran into Interpol.

I guess we won't have to worry about them for a while.

Oh, and she's, uh, a bit of a boozer.

Do you think you can handle that?

- How much of a boozer? A lush? - Yeah. You can handle it.

What's the rest of it?

Well, yesterday, about, uh, six hours after the robbery,

they had a plane crash in Mexico.

Uh, three people died.

A little charter from Santa Monica.

Pepper: I'll bet it crashed near that town, didn't it?

That's right. Masiaca.

Anyway, as I said, three people died.

The, uh, pilot, who seemed to be legit.

There was a Jewel fence who was a Mexican national.

And then there was a guy named Clayton burris... local address.

Pepper: Boris? -Burris.

Anyway, the, uh...

Some local friendlies were poking through the wreckage

and they came across a portable typewriter.

Only it wasn't a typewriter.

It was full of diamonds. Hey, you ought to wear this to Mexico.

What about burris? Did he have a record?

Yeah.

Three counts of armed robbery.

Seven years hard time at the soledad.

Which means the gang is now down to four.

Four men. Or, maybe, three men and one woman?

Well, all the jewels have been pulled out of the settings.

But if the weights and numbers match, then they're ours.

This whole thing's been cleared through Mexico City.

That's what caused the delay.

I wouldn't be surprised if we had some company down there.

If we ever get there.

What are you doing with my perfume?

[Sniffs]

I'm sniffing it. It's my latest trip.

Pep, come on already, will you?

You can finish the beauty treatment on the plane.

You sound like Ralph g. Ordway, an old married clod.

Come on, be a good husband and do me.

[Airplane droning]

[Camera shutter clicks]

Well, it's really quaint.

Yeah, it looks like it was designed for glider traffic.

Well, my stomach flows. I swear that pilot moonlights as a cab driver in Tijuana.

Oh, that's alright, Mr. Ordway, you look good in green.

[Chuckles]

Smile, honey. We're on candid camera.

Hmm.

Crowley: Welcome to Mexico.

Well, I've got to admit it, pep,

in some ways you're actually more photogenic than I am.

I disagree.

I think she's better to look at when you see her in person.

Gracias, senor.

Merci beaucoup, mademoiselle.

Hmm. Well, they all check.

Every single one of them fits the Victors' list.

Then I guess the Victors aren't paupers anymore.

Here are the rest.

We managed, you know, without too much subtlety,

to photograph everyone who came in from the outside.

You can say that again.

Under the pressures of time, and with very limited resources,

we do the best we can, sgt. Anderson.

Well, I don't see anybody I've ever seen before.

-You wanna look at these, pep? -Yeah.

Hey, what about the guy who called you?

Agoura: No, not one of those. This man was a native.

He claimed to represent clients who preferred to remain anonymous.

Most of what he said was indirect.

But, if you know the game, and play along,

pretty soon the message becomes quite clear.

I'll bet, if you tried real hard,

you could, uh, give the impression of great corruptibility.

Sgt. Anderson, believe me, I might even deceive you.

So how did you leave it?

I told him, if he seriously wished to discuss terms, to call me back.

And when he does, I'll propose him a deal.

Then we can move in and make the arrest.

You know what scares me?

We might end up with only a middle man.

Yeah, I've considered that.

And there's the chance of losing these,

which would be very embarrassing all the way around.

Look, lieutenant, with your permission, let's try something else.

Let's see if we can smoke out the realies...

And still stay flexible enough to get whoever might be on the other side of the border.

And what do we do next? Walk on the water?

Look, it's not that hard.

When the guy calls you back, you just cut him off clean.

He's gotta figure, a: It's too hot for you,

or b: You're negotiating with somebody with a little more horsepower.

Either way, the people we're after aren't gonna like it.

And my guess is they'll come slithering right out from under the rocks.

Here he comes.

Boy, I'd like to write him a ticket for Jay-walking.

You know that guy's problem is, he's got no respect for the law.

[Chuckles]

Feel like taking a little ride?

I'd love to.

Funny time for a couple of ganefs like that to be out buyin' furniture.

Hey, partner, think you can handle two at a time?

I don't think he understands much English.

Well, shoes should have kind of a universal language.

That's pretty good.

I never thought about it like that.

I happen to have the advantage of being in the business myself.

I import practically more shoes than anybody in the entire state of California.

-Is that a fact? -That's right.

Del Franklin's the name.

Well, Ralph ordway. How do you do?

Ah, you make a great Margarita.

Thank you.

Honey, look what I found.

Del Franklin, say hello to my wife, Trudy.

Buenos dias, senora.

Crowley: Del's in footwear, honey. Sandals and shoes.

He's down here on business too. Right?

Well, there's no business like shoe business.

-Heh. -Well, Dale, how's Roy?

Hummel: Del.

Told you she had a sense of humor, didn't I?

You sure did.

All I can say is, I hope what you're doing

is more exciting than what we're doing.

Well, I'd like to be puerto vallarta myself,

but I can't make a dime there.

Sometimes I wonder, is money really worth it?

Yes.

Listen, don't you believe her, del.

She loves buying and selling more than I do.

I'd offer you a drink, but my sweet husband here thinks

that liquor is brewed in the dark,

deep caverns by the devil himself.

Crowley: Honey, that's not true.

I just said that a little wine,

a little beer, once in a while is alright,

but these double margaritas, that's something else.

They go down like soda pop. Pop, pop.

Listen, Ralph.

Anybody who smokes those things has not right to pass judgment.

[Chuckles]

Hummel: Uh, waiter! We're thirsty over here.

[Clears throat]

[Exhales]

He really latched on to me like a magnet out there.

Bet you a 1,000 bucks, this is our boy.

As I recall, the last time you were positive about "our boy",

I was lying on top of a cold storage compartment in a liquor store on fifth street,

and you wouldn't let me go to the bathroom.

You're not kidding, are you? Huh?

I mean, you're really getting loaded.

Pep, don't you think you'd better take it easy on the Tequila?

I can handle it. You want me to blow my cover?

I'm supposed to be a lush.

Yeah, well, you've sure got me fooled.

Well, I can't just sit here, not drinking anything.

He's staring right at me. We didn't order anymore drinks.

Who ordered the drinks?

Did you order these, del?

Yeah, they're on me, Ralph.

Guess you don't like this style of music,

but there wasn't any Lawrence walk in the juke box.

You've got to take what you can get down here.

Thank you.

So whereabouts in California, are your stores located?

What'd you say?

I said whereabouts in California are your stores located?

No, no, no. I don't have any stores.

I'm a wholesaler. I thought I told you that, Ralph.

-You gotta forgive him, Dale. -Uh, del.

See, half the time he doesn't listen.

And don't ask me where his mind is, because I haven't been able to figure that out.

[Both chuckle]

Hummel: Hey, why don't you get up and show us how it's done, Trudy?

Ralph and I took a course in those silly dances, uh, rumba, fox trot and tango.

370 dollars, and I think we only took three lessons.

Pretty good, you know that?

I didn't have three lessons for nothing.

I thought for a while you were never gonna ask me to dance.

How else could I stop you from making a complete fool of yourself?

-Me? -Hmm.

I think you're jealous. Jealous of what? That?

Huh!

[Groans]

Did I fall or did you drop me?

Pepper: Hi, hi, hi.

Hi, hi. You okay?

Yeah, okay, okay.

Heh. Okay, I think I need a little air.

-Are you okay? -Yeah, I'm okay.

- Do you need a little help? - No, no, you stay right here.

'Cause i'm-i'm... tell Dale all about our Mexican furniture,

but don't give away any of our trade secrets.

Yeah, oh, and order me another, uh, pop, pop, pop.

204, please.

Thank you.

[Sighs]

-Who are you? -Oh!

How did you get in here? Leave me.

-How did you get in here? -Oh!

What are you doing here?

[Panting]

Aah!

Oh.

Now that the first aid's over, I'd like you to meet my wife.

-Ralph, Trudy, this is jana. -Hi.

Don't "hi" me, you sneak.

You want to try it again? Only this time I'll hide in the closet.

- Come on, honey. Take it easy. - Why should I?

She breaks into our room, goes through my things, zonks me cold.

Ladies, ladies, may I make a suggestion?

Why don't we all calm down, stop wasting our time and our energy

and admit what we're here for?

Now as far as I'm concerned, this says it all.

A loupe, a leverage Gauge and a diamond scale, yeah?

See! I told you she was going through our things.

Come on, Trudy. Come on. Please. Take it easy. Hmm?

Now, we happen to be very nice people.

Oh! Yeah, you're lovely.

To prove it to you, I'm willing to give you 3,000 dollars for your time and your trouble

and bid you bon voyage.

Even with a lump on my head, that's very funny.

What she means is, we've gotten to where we like it here.

Will you take a look at this?

It's a little, uh, sample of the merchandise.

Some of the furniture we came down here to buy.

One of 26 different pieces.

Excellent.

Uh-huh.

Crowley: And we've already made the deal, folks.

So if anybody's moving on, it'll have to be you two.

Uh, just one minute. Hmm.

Well, you feeling any better?

Some dumb chick I turned out to be.

Well, you caught her, didn't you?

Seems to me it was the other way around.

Hmm.

Listen, if, uh, you're willing to be reasonable,

maybe we can still do some business.

[Chattering in Spanish]

[Clucking and squawking]

[Shouting and chattering continue]

[Squawking]

C'mon, big red. Get him! Go, go, go.

[Whistling then chattering]

If nobody minds, we're going back to our room.

Watching two roosters beat to death

doesn't exactly turn us on, you know what I mean?

Just stick around until we get things settled, okay?

What's to settle?

We've got an outfit waiting for us in Mexico City that'll pay us 60 cents on the dollar.

That's just the point. I can handle it for you right here.

60 cents on the dollar? You know what you're talking about?

You're talking about, uh, 3,008 dollars.

I know. Give me two days.

[Chattering]

Come on. Get up and fight. You quitter.

Your wife's cute.

Thank you.

I know she's a very basic woman, Trudy.

That's one of the reasons I love her.

Listen, if you want to make a deal at that price,

you must've found a pretty good exchange for yourselves.

Indeed I do. 70 on the dollar.

70?

Which leaves ten percent for the Franklins.

And saves the ordways a hell of a lot of running around.

Now doesn't that make sense to everybody?

[Whistling]

All right. You come up with the money in 245 hours, maximum, and we swing.

Fair enough.

Well, why don't I get to see the rest of what I'm buying.

[Whistling]

Okay. There's a furniture factory over on the calle De flores.

We'll meet one of you there tomorrow at noon.

Jana: Why just one?

Because you swing a pretty mean flower pot, lady,

and we'd like to keep the odds even.

See you later.

Pepper: You know what I'd like to see some day?

The ordways were in the ring and tearing each other apart.

[Rooster crows]

Well, we're not the only early birds up and about.

Do you get the feeling the ordways have checked out of the hotel?

[Engine starts]

They never had the stones to start with.

Yeah. And I bet they knew we were gonna rip them off.

Well, think about it, cliff. They know where we are right now.

Crowley: Gee, pep, I hate to say I told you so.

Pepper: This road would get to anybody.

Crowley: Oh. You think it's the road, huh?

Thought it might have something to do with all that soda pop you were pop, pop, popping.

I just regret that I have but one stomach to give to my department.

You wanna write that down? Write this down.

The next time I drink Tequila, it won't be with a flower pot chaser.

[Chuckles]

[Car brakes screech]

They're not going to Mexico City.

Hmm. Not by car, anyway.

Crowley: Well, we just passed our friendly federale.

[Bike engine revving]

Cliff: As soon as they get to the airport, they're ours.

- Do you hear something? - Yes, I certainly do.

[Siren wailing]

Buenos dias, senor.

So why didn't you stop the guy ahead of me?

I don't speak English.

I said, why didn't you stop the guy ahead of me? He was going as fast as I was.

Lo siento mucho, pero no hablo inglés.

[Airplane droning]

That plane, where's it going?

Well, flight 472?

I... I don't know the number of the fright. It just took off.

That is flight 472, senor. Where is it going?

Well, you can see it right here for yourself.

Oh.

Flight 472, uh, lands in Tijuana for direct connections north.

Right. Thanks.

What?

[Coins clattering]

[Phone rings]

Hello? It's them.

They got the stuff?

Oh, shut up, will you?

Yeah. Cliff, how's it going?

Look, you're gonna have to speak up.

We got a lousy connection.

Did you get the stuff?

All I want you to do is to meet that plane. Okay?

Now you know the time and the place. Just be there, all right?

Okay, it's all settled.

They'll pick 'em up after they land.

Agoura: Senor Franklin?

Senor Franklin, you're under arrest.

Uh, I don't understand. What for?

I have a deposition signed by two American police officers.

One of them, incidentally, a very beautiful blonde.

They're cops?

Stating that you tried to purchase stolen jewelry?

Look, officer, you know as well as I do, that no deposition's gonna hold up in any court.

Let's just say that it will detain you long enough.

And if it doesn't, I always have this traffic citation.

Woman on P.A.: [Inaudible] Flight 109, Los Angeles to Reno,

is now boarding at gate 18.

-Right there. -What?

This is gonna be interesting.

- Do you've anything to declare? - Uh, just this.

That's all? Just the one bottle?

Well, only one of us drinks.

-That's it. -What?

The stones are in the bottle.

- Won't they take it from them? - No, dummy. Watch.

How much is the duty on the Tequila?

Well, you're in luck, sir. You just made the legal limit. One quart.

Ha, ha. Well, what do you know. For once we did something right.

-Thank you very much. -Thank you.

Here they come.

Woman on P.A.: [Inaudible]

What about the guy in the funny clothes?

Royster: What funny clothes?

They just got on the elevator. They're coming down to the lobby now.

Roger. We're ready.

Woman on P.A.: All passengers holding tickets for flight 109,

Los Angeles to Reno, please report to gate 18.

You're not getting off at the main floor, Mr. Ordway.

-Pete? -Yeah?

Man: They didn't get off. They kept on going down.

Damn it. Move ahead.

Male announcer on radio: Pop fly to center...

Get over there and sit at that table.

You too.

[Male announcer on radio continues]

You folks, just make yourself cozy.

This won't take more than a second.

Male announcer on radio: Has a stand-up double, and he missed by inches...

I forgot it was Sunday. What?

The game's on.

Must be that old boy next door. You know, he listens all them game.

Football, baseball, hockey.

Don't make no difference. He care less who it is.

-Well, what the score is? -What?

-What are the scores? -Hmm.

Pepper: What a waste of good Tequila.

They're not here.

What makes me mad is that we just had all that stuff pressed.

Come on. Stand up. Get over here.

Move.

Now you, empty out that purse.

And let's see what you've got in your pockets.

[Sighs]

You're wasting your time.

All right.

Where?

You don't think we're stupid enough to carry it on us, do you?

Well, you had it when you left Mexico.

When we left Mexico, it was in the mail already in a plain, cardboard box.

That's right.

So that little cap pistol ain't worth a dime.

No, if you want what we've got, you're gonna have to deal for it.

[Exhales]

Male announcer on radio: He hits a curveball. Smothered by Phillips!

I think somebody just hit a homerun.

[Keypad beeping]

[Exhales]

It's me, Emery. We've got some problems.

You'd better get over here right away.

Those dummies working in baggage think it was a little strange,

two men coming out of an elevator holding guns?

Why should they? They were all wearing security uniforms.

That's another thing. Where'd they get the uniforms?

Well, we don't know, lieutenant.

But I imagine by the time our people finish lookin' around out there,

they'll find a couple of guys in some closet with their b.V.D.S.

So two men come out of an elevator

pointing a gun at a man and a woman,

and nobody can muster up enough curiosity to say,

"hey, what's it all about?"

It's a hell of a day's work. That's all I can say.

Announcer: As we go into the bottom of the ninth inning,

the Dodgers holding on to a 5-4 lead.

Five runs, 11 hits, one error./

the giants four runs, nine hits and three errors.

[Inaudible]

[Sighs]

[Elevator machinery humming]

[Knocking]

It's about time.

They're police.

Kehoe: Them? Mrs. Victor: Yes!

-Are you sure? -Yes. Yes. We saw those two.

At the headquarters. T... they got off the elevator. I remember it.

Her face in particular.

Where're you goin', Emery?

They're cops. They've got the stones. They've seen us.

Where the hell do you think I'm goin'?

[Door slams]

Oops, sit down there.

You're just a can sitting on a fence.

I'll blow you back over the side of the hill. Sit down.

What happened to Emery?

I thought he was supposed to be your big shot operator.

Hey, Emery.

You'd better hot tail it. They're right behind you. Get goin'.

[Car brakes screech]

Maybe you oughta get away too, while you've still got the chance.

Why is that, doll? Are we surrounded?

I'm gonna stick around here, I'm too loyal.

I wanna help out my buddies.

It was never supposed to happen like this.

Ain't that's a truth.

Don't you sweat, I'll get you out of this mess, one way or another.

You know what he means, don't you?

You know what he means?

I wish there were only some way you could understand.

It was never supposed to happen like this.

After 40 years, working ten hours a day,

I didn't make this economic mess.

I gave honest value, paid my taxes, even say prayers to god.

After 40 years, we're failing.

Mr. Victor, what he means is, you pay him enough money, he'll kill us.

That's the old guy next door. He listens to all them sportin' events.

And it'll be just the same as if you pulled the trigger yourselves.

Victor: Isn't there some kind of a deal we can make, officer?

Some way you can guarantee we won't go to jail?

We can try.

Yeah, yeah, sure. She'll make a deal for ya.

She'd about seven or eight years in the joint.

After today, all them conspiracy charges you've been facing would make your head turn around.

All I was trying to do is save my business.

Well, you kidnapped two police officers, held them at gun point.

Yes, but if you had no prior knowledge, you're not even involved.

But I did have knowledge.

But think, Mr. Victor.

Compared with murder, those are minor charges.

It don't make no difference now. Either way you're gonna go to jail.

And the Mrs. will go with you.

Victor: We couldn't take it.

We would die. We're too old. We couldn't survive.

I'm gonna fix it now so you won't have to worry another day for the rest of your lives.

For how much money?

Oh, no, Sam. Please.

Uh-huh, just the insurance money. That's it. That's all.

How could you consider anything like this? How could you?

I'm willing to pay them, but they won't take it.

They'd lock us up in different places.

Where we couldn't possibly survive.

We would never see each other again.

And Sherry and David and the kids. No.

If... if... if you love me, Sam, don't do this.

Listen to her, Sam. What she says makes sense.

They need us, Hannah. How can they get along without us?

And we still need each other.

Mr. Victor.

Well, folks, ballgame is over.

You might as well sit down.

Sit down.

Pepper: You'll never gonna see a cent of that money.

Why is that, honey?

Those jewels were on memo.

Consigned by a dealer from New York.

His insurance company has the right to subrogate against the Victors

and take everything they own.

Yeah, well, you're wrong again, sexy.

I was gonna make a settlement.

I'll give them half, 50,000 dollars.

Just so them poor folks wouldn't go out of business. Huh?

Now, what I want is them stones.

You know, you use that thing, you kill two cops,

you're gonna have cops running over you like ants over sugar.

[Clicks tongue]

Have you thought about that?

Have you thought about that.

You said that real pretty. Yes, I thought about that.

And the conclusion I come to is I didn't kill two cops, I killed two finks.

By the name of ordway, a couple of second rate Jewel fences.

You're getting kind of fuzzy-headed there, aren't you, friend?

Fuzzy-headed?

All I know, friend, is I want them stones.

We don't have them.

You said that real pretty then. We don't have them.

Well, you know something, in my fuzzy way of thinkin', I think you do have them.

To tell you the truth, I don't think you'd let them out of your sight.

You couldn't afford to lose 'em.

Not on what they're paying you. Now could you? Am I right?

Am I right?

Yeah, I'm right.

Now the jackpot question is you see, which one of you two has 'em?

And where're you keepin' em?

Stand up.

Why?

Not you, Romeo. You stand up.

I wanna have a little talk with you. Just you and me. Come on.

Oh, what about?

I wanna talk about where you got them stones stashed.

You know, I think you got them in your brazeer or somethin'. You got 'em.

Heh. You're insane.

That's a very loosely thrown around word, do you know that?

"Insane."

I've heard that many times in my life.

My old mother used to tell me that

and a whole multitude of school teachers used to tell me that

and some acquaintances I met in the joint used to tell that to me.

But right now, at this moment of my life, see,

I'm holding this piece on you, and you're looking into it.

So it don't make no difference who's insane or who's sane. You know what I mean?

So why don't you, uh, disrobe?

Ha, I don't have to do this.

Yes, you do. Because I'm tellin' you to.

Take it off. You got 'em and I want 'em.

Come on.

Pep, looks like he's got us.

What do you mean "us?"

Well, I mean, when you're faced with a situation like this,

the best thing to do is just relax and enjoy it.

See that? Crowley, I think you're out of your cotton pickin' mind.

You know what I'm thinkin'? I think you're stallin', see?

Now don't do that to me. Just unbutton it. Come on, take it off.

Easy, Romeo, or i'11 blow your head off.

Ha. Come on.

Where you goin'? I'm going back here.

Now you coming out here. I'm not going to take it off there.

Get back here. I'm gonna take it off for ya. Now come on.

- Okay, back here. - Yeah, I can't see ya. Come on out here.

-Is this good enough? -Pep, do it.

Come on.

Pep, do it now!

Operators, police emergency.

One.

Here's a copy of the Victors' statement, in case either of you are interested.

Not right now.

Well, the whole thing seems so stupid.

You better be careful. You're starting to feel sorry for them.

The trouble with you people from criminal conspiracy is: All of you were born without souls.

You've got a heart of gold, Paul.

Speaking of souls, will you?

- I have just one question. - Let me hear it. What's that?

Just how far were you willing to let me undress for our cookie friend?

Well, let's face it. Our lives were at stake.

I guess I was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice.

I hope, real soon, we run into a lady Jewel thief.

A nice, tough, aggressive, liberated female.

-It wouldn't work. -Why not?

She'd never believe I was wearing a bra.

[Chuckles]

-Would she? -Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

[Theme music playing]