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1
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,621
Kitchen's down.
2
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:58,014
Well, that's good news.
3
00:00:58,014 --> 00:01:00,060
-Here.
-Hmm.
4
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,670
That's it for the coffee.
5
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,151
Vile to the last drop.
6
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,545
I'll be back
in ten minutes.
7
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,112
Then you can leave
with the others.
8
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:11,071
I'm staying.
9
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,508
Hmm, you finally realized
I have a beautiful body.
10
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,814
I've never seenyour body.
11
00:01:15,814 --> 00:01:17,164
Every evening at 8:30,
12
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,861
matinees Wednesday
and Saturday.
13
00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:20,732
Let's keep ourrelationship medical.
14
00:01:20,732 --> 00:01:22,386
You wanna play doctor?
15
00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:25,215
Look, Margaret,
I can handle this.
16
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,869
Get on the truck
and get out of here.
17
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:28,305
I'm staying with you.
18
00:01:32,048 --> 00:01:33,180
If you need me, I'll bepacking up my troubles
19
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,138
in my old kit bag.
20
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,500
Where's my tent?
21
00:01:50,588 --> 00:01:51,981
RADAR:
Did you yell, Hawkeye?
22
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:53,417
Where's my tent,my clothes,
23
00:01:53,417 --> 00:01:55,376
my sneakers,my dirty magazines?
24
00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,073
Uh, Captain Hunnicutt
finished packing up
25
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,770
the rest of
your gear, sir.
26
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:01,469
I hope he left mea change of filthy socks.
27
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,427
Did he take care
of the still?
28
00:02:03,427 --> 00:02:06,082
Major Burns wouldn't let thestill go on the truck, sir.
29
00:02:06,082 --> 00:02:07,518
Fink!
30
00:02:07,518 --> 00:02:08,998
He wouldn't let
Klinger's dresses
31
00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:11,696
or my animals go onthe truck, neither, sir.
32
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,045
I can understandthe dresses,
33
00:02:13,045 --> 00:02:14,917
but Snuffy andthe Doo-doo twins?
34
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,528
The Smith Brothers ofthe jelly bean industry.
35
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:19,617
They're careless,but they're loyal.
36
00:02:19,617 --> 00:02:20,923
Not as loyal
as my still.
37
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,055
All it asks is
a little alcohol,
38
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,448
some corn mash,
39
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:26,058
and what does it
give in return?
40
00:02:26,058 --> 00:02:27,147
Liquid love.
41
00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,583
Yeah.
42
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,020
Uh, can you keepa secret, sir?
43
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,761
Scout's honor.
44
00:02:32,761 --> 00:02:33,762
Were you a Scout?
45
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,981
No, but I was
always prepared.
46
00:02:38,419 --> 00:02:40,595
B.J., Klinger, and meworked out a little deal
47
00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:43,206
with Wat San Yeefor the use of his cab.
48
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:45,643
He's gonna haul the stilland the animals
49
00:02:45,643 --> 00:02:47,341
and the Klinger collection.
50
00:02:47,341 --> 00:02:50,518
Radar, when all this is over,I'm gonna adopt you.
51
00:02:50,518 --> 00:02:52,694
I've already got my motherand my uncle Ed.
52
00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:54,783
-I'll sleep on the couch.-
53
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,135
Start your engines!
54
00:03:00,745 --> 00:03:03,400
Move out! Yo!
55
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,610
RADAR:Snuffy gets the carrots.
56
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,699
Pokey and the restget the lettuce.
57
00:03:41,699 --> 00:03:43,484
Sequins all over the ground!
58
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,703
-Take care of yourself.-Same to you!
59
00:03:46,704 --> 00:03:48,315
Come on, Pokey!
60
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,108
What are you doing back here?
61
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,110
You might need me.
62
00:04:12,034 --> 00:04:14,906
How's he doing?
63
00:04:14,906 --> 00:04:16,734
Hangin' in there.
64
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:21,652
Is today the 4th of July?
65
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:23,263
It's September.
66
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:25,265
Just a wild hope.
67
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:28,268
Does the enemy
rape female prisoners?
68
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,748
Margaret, there's noreason to be afraid.
69
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,924
Aren't you scared?
70
00:04:32,924 --> 00:04:34,926
Me, scared?
71
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:37,059
This whole body
is one white knuckle.
72
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,713
You don't show it.
73
00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,584
The minute this kid is stableand on the chopper,
74
00:04:40,584 --> 00:04:42,630
I may wet my pants
and suck my thumb.
75
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:45,067
-Wow, wow.-
76
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,416
Everybody's heading south.
77
00:04:46,416 --> 00:04:48,113
The whole road'sjammed up with traffic.
78
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,332
Must be going tothe Rose Bowl game.
79
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:50,594
What'd you bring,
Corporal?
80
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,248
Well, they left us
this stuff.
81
00:04:52,248 --> 00:04:54,076
It's a-- it's a couplecans of Vienna sausage,
82
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:56,165
two cans of Spam,some dehydrated potatoes,
83
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,949
and some extra shoelaces.
84
00:04:57,949 --> 00:04:59,995
I'll have the shoelaces.House dressing.
85
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:01,518
And have the chefremove the tips.
86
00:05:01,518 --> 00:05:03,346
Is he all right?
87
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,827
He's moving his toes.
That's something.
88
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,136
I wish to hell we hadn'ttorn down the still.
89
00:05:11,136 --> 00:05:12,268
I could use a belt.
90
00:05:12,268 --> 00:05:14,923
Rosie's bar's still there.
91
00:05:14,923 --> 00:05:16,490
Why don't you go on over?
92
00:05:16,490 --> 00:05:17,839
I can handle things here.
93
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,364
What do you say, Radar?
94
00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,453
Want to walk overto the gas station
95
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:24,846
for an orange soda?
96
00:05:24,846 --> 00:05:26,413
Then we can strolldown Main Street
97
00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,718
to the dry goods store
98
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,285
and watch them undressthe window dummies.
99
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:30,721
It's what we used
to do back home
100
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,636
-every Saturday night.
-You mad fools.
101
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,860
Geez,look at all the trucks.
102
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,516
Nice corner
for a taco stand.
103
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:43,604
Yeah.
104
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:45,736
Wow!
105
00:05:49,087 --> 00:05:50,567
-RADAR: Back!
106
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,786
Yeah, yeah!
107
00:05:51,786 --> 00:05:53,396
That's telling them,Sheriff.
108
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:57,400
For Pete's sakes,
run a guy down!
109
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,055
Tell it to Truman!
110
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,062
First time I ever gotthe best table in the house.
111
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:08,368
Rosie!
112
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,328
-Dr. Stud!
-With two D's.
113
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,677
Time to flee.
114
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,853
One last drink,
my wee bonny lassie,
115
00:06:15,853 --> 00:06:17,768
to celebrate our
cowardly retreat.
116
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:19,857
But time to flee.
117
00:06:19,857 --> 00:06:22,817
Rosie, who gave you theblue medicine for your gums?
118
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,036
Hawkeye.
119
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,386
Come on.
120
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,649
A double for me anda grape Nehi for Radar.
121
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,128
No grape Nehi.
122
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:32,000
Check the wine cellar.
123
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:36,961
I'd settle for
an orange soda.
124
00:06:36,961 --> 00:06:38,920
This is a special occasion.
125
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,662
The grape has a morememorable artificial flavor.
126
00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,452
There's a lady on my foot.
127
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:51,976
Oh, Miss,
128
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:53,500
this probably
isn't your table,
129
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,110
but would you scratch
the back of my leg?
130
00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,419
Ah.
131
00:07:02,030 --> 00:07:04,728
Found! One grape Nehi.
132
00:07:04,728 --> 00:07:06,382
-Let me see.
-Oh, boy.
133
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,170
Ah, titillating bouquet.
134
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,521
Delicate coloring.Travels well.
135
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,044
It's bottled in Duluth.
136
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:19,134
1951. Good year for Nehi.
137
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:20,440
Cin-cin.
138
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:26,315
Mmm, it's still
got its fizz.
139
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:28,317
Would I deny you a belch?
140
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:31,494
Missed.
141
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:33,583
They forgot to pack
the cockroaches.
142
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:39,241
Hey. That's Blue Velvet.
143
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:41,591
B.J's racing cockroach?
144
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,419
Sure, look at the limp.
145
00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,900
Oh, it is Blue Velvet.
146
00:07:45,900 --> 00:07:48,642
One of the great thoroughbredcockroaches in Korea.
147
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,121
I'm glad you missed him.
148
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,384
He's sired a lot of winners.
149
00:07:57,041 --> 00:07:59,130
A farewell.
150
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:02,438
Much sadness in Rosie's heart.
151
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,266
Tear come to eye.
152
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,181
To Dr. Hawkeye,
153
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:08,183
healer of sick.
154
00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:09,532
That's sweet, Rosie.
155
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:19,499
Tab owed: $51.55.
156
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,631
You crazy sentimental kid.
157
00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,598
Able Bravo Oneto Able Bravo Two.
158
00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,644
We're in C2 section,intersection 4.
159
00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,777
Affirmative.Affirmative.
160
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,779
Able Bravo One out.
161
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,041
How's it going?
162
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,521
Who are you?
163
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:43,523
Dr. Pierce and his loyalminion Corporal O'Reilly.
164
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:45,699
Captain Stevens,
Intelligence and Recon.
165
00:08:45,699 --> 00:08:47,352
-Minion? What's a minion?-You know.
166
00:08:47,352 --> 00:08:48,876
You fetch and carry
goblets of wine,
167
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,399
you fend off
knaves and varlets,
168
00:08:50,399 --> 00:08:52,444
and on occasion you find
me a toothsome wench.
169
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:53,837
He's a fun guy.
170
00:08:53,837 --> 00:08:55,447
In real life,I'm the company clerk.
171
00:08:55,447 --> 00:08:57,145
You people shouldhave gone south.
172
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,060
Yeah, we got a patient
we can't move yet.
173
00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:00,975
Where's the front?
174
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,846
You're standing on it.
175
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:12,508
Oh, to be in England,
now that war is here.
176
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:34,748
Halt! Convoy, halt!
177
00:09:34,748 --> 00:09:37,098
-Convoy, halt!
-Major Burns.
178
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,316
SOLDIER:
Convoy, halt!
179
00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:40,710
Convoy, halt!
180
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:41,929
Yes, sir?
181
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,800
Get latrine andtent detail started.
182
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,063
Set up a mess pre-op andpost-op near the building.
183
00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:47,412
I'm gonna checkit out for O.R.
184
00:09:47,412 --> 00:09:48,762
Roger Wilco.
185
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,372
Uh, sir,
I was thinking that--
186
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:52,330
-Uh, Colonel Potter, sir?-What is it, Father?
187
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:55,986
I believe it's customary tobless the site of a new MASH.
188
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,467
Of course, of course.Stand by for the blessing.
189
00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:01,209
Stand by for the blessing!
190
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,428
Stand by for the blessing!
191
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,822
Stand by for the blessing!
192
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,998
Stand by for the blessing!
193
00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:10,522
Stand by for the blessing!
194
00:10:21,229 --> 00:10:22,926
Hear me, O Lord.
195
00:10:22,926 --> 00:10:25,233
Hear me, O Lord!
196
00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,191
Hear me, O Lord!
197
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:29,237
Hear me, O Lord!
198
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,282
Hear me, O Lord!
199
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,197
Hear me, O Lord!
200
00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,026
I'm just trying to help.
201
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:37,593
The padre does a single.
202
00:10:40,944 --> 00:10:45,122
We thank Thee for guidingus safely to this place
203
00:10:45,122 --> 00:10:48,299
and ask Thy blessing thatwe may continue to heal
204
00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,692
and do Thy work,
205
00:10:49,692 --> 00:10:51,433
and for a speedy
end to this war--
206
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:53,740
I mean, uh, police action.
207
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:57,395
Uh, well, you know
what I mean, Lord.
208
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,223
Amen.
209
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:01,051
-Amen.
-Is that it?
210
00:11:01,051 --> 00:11:02,618
Nothing comes after "amen."
211
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,880
Well, we used to sing.
212
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,403
-Get set up!
-Yes, sir.
213
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,842
Nice blessing, Father.
Standard prayer?
214
00:11:08,842 --> 00:11:11,322
Well, it's a golden oldie.
215
00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:12,410
Hunnicutt.
216
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,151
Yes, sir, Colonel.
217
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,155
Come on, let's look
over the building.
218
00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,591
With this retreat,
219
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,897
there will be a lot
of busted-up kids
220
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,159
-coming in here.
-Right.
221
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:26,076
Looks like an
abandoned schoolhouse.
222
00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,035
Fu Manchu Junior High.
223
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:33,170
-Sir, conflict.
-What now?
224
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,694
We can't find the
surgical equipment.
225
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,609
Look in the boxes marked"kitchen utensils."
226
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,655
The ninnies.
227
00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:42,658
Hunnicutt,
do me a favor.
228
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,660
-Name it, Colonel.
-If I'm ever shot,
229
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:46,662
don't let him
lay a hand on me.
230
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:48,359
- Same here.-
231
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,970
I'd hate to have that whistlesewed up inside me.
232
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,972
Where the hell did he
get that whistle anyway?
233
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,451
Same placehe got his diploma--
234
00:11:53,451 --> 00:11:54,801
a box of Cracker Jacks.
235
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,155
Was that you?
236
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:03,287
I haven't giggledsince my wedding night.
237
00:12:07,204 --> 00:12:08,640
Who there?
238
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,078
Colonel Sherman Potter,
MASH 4077.
239
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,993
Sorry, no appointment.
240
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:15,909
No appointment?
241
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:17,388
What does she mean,
no appointment?
242
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,607
Today is Wednesday.
243
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,348
Maybe the dentistis playing golf.
244
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,745
Let me try, Colonel.
245
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,398
I know how to knockin Korean.
246
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,751
Sorry. Everybody tired.
247
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,100
Big night last night.
248
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,754
Now, would you pleasecome out here, madam?
249
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,494
I think you hit it
right on the head.
250
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,192
What's thatsupposed to mean?
251
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,281
Madam.
And the others are her
ladies of the evening,
252
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:42,544
or afternoon or morning,
as the case may be.
253
00:12:42,544 --> 00:12:44,938
Concubines,in a schoolhouse?
254
00:12:44,938 --> 00:12:47,375
Well, they have to
learn someplace.
255
00:12:47,375 --> 00:12:48,768
Again.
256
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,384
Don't give methat static, lady.
257
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:58,778
We're here to
establish MASH 4077.
258
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,650
You get your concubines
out of here!
259
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:02,825
Concubines?
260
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,479
Out lady, now.
261
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,742
Business before war.
262
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:08,439
That's what makesAmerica great.
263
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,398
We're here on
orders of "I" Corps.
264
00:13:10,398 --> 00:13:12,704
General Irving R. Hamilton,commanding.
265
00:13:12,704 --> 00:13:15,795
Ohh. Binky.
266
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,582
Ready to set up
the O.R., Colonel.
267
00:13:20,582 --> 00:13:22,018
Stand by, Major.
268
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:23,237
Who are they?
269
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:24,412
Are there people living here?
270
00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,630
The Assistance League.
271
00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:26,893
Assistance League?
272
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:28,285
The oldest profession.
273
00:13:28,285 --> 00:13:30,200
A bakery?
274
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,245
Tarts!
275
00:13:31,245 --> 00:13:32,463
Tarts?
276
00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,900
Peach? Raspberry?
277
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,162
-Frank.
-Huh?
278
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,163
It's a brothel.
279
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:40,428
A den of iniquity?
In this building?
280
00:13:40,428 --> 00:13:42,996
If you order before 6,I'm sure you can get takeout.
281
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:45,825
Disgusting. Colonel,
request permission
282
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,522
for an armed squad
to remove them by force.
283
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,091
Confiscated!
284
00:13:51,091 --> 00:13:52,701
Get cracking!
285
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,311
He took my whistle.
286
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:57,532
Look, lady,
you have to move.
287
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,490
We're using this buildingfor a hospital.
288
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:01,188
You've got to set up your...
289
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:03,016
shimmy palace in another spot.
290
00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:04,234
No.
291
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:06,106
Listen, sister.
292
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,629
Me no Catholic.
293
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:09,587
We'll put all of you
in one of our trucks.
294
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,720
We'll take you any
place you wanna go.
295
00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,201
Throw in a case
of chipped beef.
296
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:17,160
Oh, no, I love that
after church, on toast.
297
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,770
How about a caseof Vienna sausage?
298
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:20,903
Ohhh.
299
00:14:20,903 --> 00:14:23,427
That got her.She loves Vienna sausage.
300
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,997
-Oh, dresses!
-Dresses!
301
00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,781
- Pretty!
-Thank you, sis.
302
00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:31,696
Uh, hold it, babe.
Hold it now. Take it easy.
303
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,568
That's not for sale.That's my confirmation dress.
304
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,570
All right, girls, come on now.
Let's knock it off!
305
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,615
Give me that dress!This ain't Klein's basement.
306
00:14:37,615 --> 00:14:39,313
Come on, that doesn't
look good on you.
307
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:40,575
Come on, girls. Hold up!
308
00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:42,751
Let's behave
like gentlemen now!
309
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:44,100
Don't! You're gonna tear it!
310
00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,536
Give me that dress.
Give me that.
311
00:14:45,536 --> 00:14:46,711
You're gonna split the pleats!
312
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,061
My dress!
313
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:49,540
That's not your dress.I'll kill ya!
314
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,586
Wait a minute!Hey, come back here!
315
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:54,545
I've got it.
316
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,417
-POTTER: Klinger!
317
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:57,940
KLINGER:
Give me that dress.
318
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:02,771
All present and
accounted for, sir!
319
00:15:02,771 --> 00:15:04,164
Come over here.
320
00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:09,430
Put that back on the rack,next to the pink chiffon.
321
00:15:09,430 --> 00:15:11,693
And watch the collar.It's simulated raccoon.
322
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,261
-You whistled, sir?
-With both lips.
323
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:16,828
Step over here.I want to talk to you.
324
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:20,223
Son, those girls arecrazy about your clothes.
325
00:15:20,223 --> 00:15:22,051
They're ruining 'em.
Look at my black sheath.
326
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:23,618
Klinger,I'm the first to say,
327
00:15:23,618 --> 00:15:26,012
you're a fine medicand a snappy dresser.
328
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,578
I try, sir.
329
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,493
They'll give us the buildingfor the clothes.
330
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:32,932
What? I got 300 clams
invested in those dresses!
331
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,108
We've gotta have an O.R.
332
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:37,937
But my blue chiffon.It's from Murdoch's of Toledo.
333
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:40,896
I understand. I've alwaysliked that dress.
334
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:43,159
My pearls won't go
with anything else.
335
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:46,249
Put that chubby back!
That's real fake fur.
336
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,860
Klinger, we're gonna havewounded coming in here.
337
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,429
The war is going bad for us.We need that building.
338
00:15:52,429 --> 00:15:55,519
It took me three
years of my life.
339
00:15:55,519 --> 00:15:56,694
Alterations.
340
00:15:56,694 --> 00:15:59,132
Sewing my fingers
to the bone.
341
00:15:59,132 --> 00:16:02,613
Staying up all night studyingthe Monkey Ward catalog.
342
00:16:02,613 --> 00:16:04,485
Fighting my way
through snipers
343
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:07,488
for the month-end sales
at Wangs of Seoul.
344
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,186
Cowboy...
345
00:16:10,186 --> 00:16:11,840
do it for your country.
346
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,102
My country?
347
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:15,061
Do it for Toledo.
348
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
Toledo.
349
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:21,719
Okay, Colonel.
350
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,984
Ladies, the clothesfor the building.
351
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,028
It's a deal?
352
00:16:31,773 --> 00:16:33,644
-Look what I got!
353
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,438
Corporal Klinger,
354
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,397
that's the finest act ofbravery I've ever witnessed.
355
00:17:02,282 --> 00:17:04,371
HAWKEYE:What's his blood pressure?
356
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:06,677
116 over 80.
357
00:17:06,677 --> 00:17:08,462
I thought you were asleep.
358
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,378
I always wake up when a ladypumps her sphygmomanometer.
359
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:15,556
Besides, I don'tsleep well on a soft wall.
360
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,737
What time have you got?
361
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,304
Time to flee.
362
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:26,349
Captain, you're waxingpoetic again.
363
00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:27,742
I also make candles.
364
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,616
He's improving.
365
00:17:32,616 --> 00:17:34,662
With any luck,we'll have him on his feet
366
00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,142
in time for World War III.
367
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,491
Perish the thought.
368
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,275
Not to mention the people.
369
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,408
The weather's clear.
370
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:43,062
I can see the stars.
371
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:48,937
That chopper oughtabe here just after dawn.
372
00:17:48,937 --> 00:17:51,244
Is he gonna beable to make it?
373
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:53,028
Well, he's got his ticket,
his matched luggage,
374
00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:55,422
and his souvenir
satin pillow that says
375
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:56,858
"I have visited Korea,
376
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:58,686
land of the midnight
mortar attack."
377
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,079
How close is the enemy?
378
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,689
Uh, that captain said
379
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,212
we're in Communistterritory.
380
00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:05,867
Oh, thank you, comrade.And get me some borscht.
381
00:18:05,867 --> 00:18:08,783
-Easy on the sour cream.-
382
00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:11,612
Corporal, have you heardif they're taking prisoners?
383
00:18:11,612 --> 00:18:13,831
I hope not.
384
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:16,443
Chop suey makes
me break out.
385
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:22,275
MARGARET:
Pierce, stop that!
386
00:18:23,754 --> 00:18:25,539
RADAR:I'll wait in the jeep.
387
00:19:04,491 --> 00:19:05,927
Where's the hospital ship?
388
00:19:05,927 --> 00:19:07,494
Off Sinchon.
389
00:19:07,494 --> 00:19:09,060
Give him a smooth ride.
390
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:28,428
You think he'll make it?
391
00:19:28,428 --> 00:19:30,169
If they don't get a flat.
392
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:01,591
MARGARET:
What are you doing?
393
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:05,595
Big hunk of our lives
has been spent here.
394
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:08,511
Yeah, just think of allthe guys we operated on.
395
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:10,252
Right, Doctor.
396
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:15,083
A lot of them
didn't make it.
397
00:20:15,083 --> 00:20:18,608
Most of them did.You should be proud.
398
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:19,827
You, too.
399
00:20:21,089 --> 00:20:22,308
We better get going.
400
00:20:22,308 --> 00:20:24,135
Yeah, let's go.
401
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:25,833
Don't you notice anything?
402
00:20:25,833 --> 00:20:28,052
What?
403
00:20:28,052 --> 00:20:32,361
No shelling.
No more machine gun fire.
404
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,058
That's spooky.Let's get outta here.
405
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:36,147
Come on, let's go.
406
00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:42,328
Now what?
407
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,591
We got plenty of gas.
408
00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:45,766
I'll check the hood.
409
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:48,116
Yeah, see if
the hood's okay.
410
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,944
Hurry up!
411
00:20:49,944 --> 00:20:51,859
Uh, nothing--
nothing's where it is
412
00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:53,382
in my mother's Nash!
413
00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,518
What?
414
00:20:58,518 --> 00:21:00,302
Shh, listen.
415
00:21:04,306 --> 00:21:05,960
Holy moly. It sounds like
416
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,570
there's a whole battalioncoming down the road.
417
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,398
I'm gonna be ravaged,I know it.
418
00:21:09,398 --> 00:21:10,530
Tell 'em you're with me.
419
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,358
They're getting closer.
420
00:21:12,358 --> 00:21:13,620
-Let's get outta here.
-Aah!
421
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,664
Ow!
422
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:18,407
-Okay.
-What?
423
00:21:59,666 --> 00:22:00,884
Hey!
424
00:22:00,884 --> 00:22:02,321
-HAWKEYE: Hey!
-RADAR: It's us!
425
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,235
HAWKEYE: Hey, it's us!Here we are!
426
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:05,933
-Hey, hey, hey!-RADAR: Over here!
427
00:22:05,933 --> 00:22:06,934
-Aah!
-Hey!
428
00:22:06,934 --> 00:22:08,109
Hey! It's us!
429
00:22:08,109 --> 00:22:09,415
RADAR: Boy, are weglad to see you.
430
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:11,155
Convoy, halt!
431
00:22:11,155 --> 00:22:13,201
Convoy, halt!
432
00:22:13,201 --> 00:22:15,116
Convoy, halt!
433
00:22:15,116 --> 00:22:17,597
-Convoy, halt!
434
00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:19,294
-Corporal.
-Colonel.
435
00:22:19,294 --> 00:22:21,209
-What's the scoop?-Our boys beat 'em back.
436
00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:23,037
-We're coming home.
-Thank God.
437
00:22:24,430 --> 00:22:27,781
Hey, Pokey. How are ya?
438
00:22:27,781 --> 00:22:29,652
Hey, Klinger.It was really scary.
439
00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,350
We were overrunby Chinese almost.
440
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,743
Big deal. I was overrun
by a batch of bimbos.
441
00:22:33,743 --> 00:22:35,919
They got everything
but the dress on my back.
442
00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,356
Geez, what a gyp.
443
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:40,533
I can't wear this every day.People will laugh.
444
00:22:40,533 --> 00:22:42,056
Hey, how's Snuffyand the twins?
445
00:22:42,056 --> 00:22:43,449
You fed 'em, didn't ya?
446
00:22:43,449 --> 00:22:46,408
Congratulations.
You're a grandfather.
447
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:49,150
-How'd that happen?
-Very quickly.
448
00:22:49,150 --> 00:22:51,500
I think the twins brokeone of the Commandments.
449
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,197
Oh!
450
00:22:53,197 --> 00:22:55,852
-Have a cigar.
-Thanks.
451
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:59,073
Oh, Frank, we were
surrounded by Chinese.
452
00:22:59,073 --> 00:23:00,422
They were breathing
down our necks.
453
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:02,685
It tickled,
but I kinda liked it.
454
00:23:02,685 --> 00:23:04,513
You haven't changed a bit.
455
00:23:04,513 --> 00:23:06,559
Get aboard, Houlihan.
456
00:23:11,346 --> 00:23:12,652
Yo!
457
00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:15,454
Think they'll
ever finish, Hawk?
458
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,847
Once they passthe bond issue.
459
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,502
They're goin' awful deep.
460
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:23,026
Well, they have to.It's polluted.
461
00:24:23,026 --> 00:24:25,115
Remember?Frank fell into it.
31056
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