Original subtitles

Dr.

Wall-E, what are you doing?

I need to get a message out.

I know too much.

They're not going to let us leave.

I'm sending for help.

Everything is going to be okay, my little Tweety.

I promise.

we can push you.

Someday, the truth will be known.

Meep, meep.

I'll just shoot it down.

Lock on target.

Clear to engage.

Have you gotten into a catapult hoping to be gently and sensibly flown to a

destination of your choosing, only to be violently piledrived face-first into the

ground?

Have you ever set a big stack of TNT on the road, hoping to blow up your

nemesis, but when you press the detonator, the detonator itself

explodes?

Have you ever pulled the ripcord of your parachute and only a bunch of silverware

comes out?

It's not your fault. There's probably someone to blame.

We'll be your voice.

Avery. June.

Maltese. Justice!

Two for Tuesdays.

Thank you.

Hey,

wreck a ball, Matt.

I could probably get you 250 bucks for that.

See you next week.

Thank you for calling Avery Jones and Maltese. If you've been hit by an anvil,

press 1. If you've been electrocuted, press 2.

If you've been crushed by a falling piano, press 3.

Good morning.

It's almost 3.

Huh. Ugh.

Good morning, Dottie. Not now.

Do they have the paperwork too bad? Sal?

Hey, kid. You sleeping in that suit again? Good eye.

I've been waiting for you.

Hi. I have found some catastrophic fires coincidentally all near match factories,

and I really think it's a great opportunity to help a lot of people with

one case.

How long is this internship again?

Uh, three or one. Just enough time to really dig in and make a difference.

You know, you really remind me of when I was fresh out of law school, and I mean

that in the worst possible way. And I will take that as a compliment. Oh, no,

look. You've got this. You know, I'm going to do you a favor, because you're

my niece, and I want you to have a happy life.

Stop.

At Oxford... I have a feeling I'm going to be hearing that phrase a lot. At

Oxford, they really stress the importance of the law on everyday lives,

and all you're really having to do right now is brainstorm ideas for your

billboards.

You're new here, so you don't know that this file goes right over here.

And that, my friend, is freedom.

I really want to pick it up. No, no, no, no, no, no. And I really want to file it

alphabetically. No, you will not. Please. You've got a new client in the

conference room. He seems unhinged. Good luck.

Mr. Coyote?

Coyote?

Coyote.

All right, well, uh...

How can I help you?

Oh, one of my billboards.

Cost a lot of money to put those up. So you've been in an accident?

Do you not talk?

Oh, but you have signs.

I don't, uh, understand.

All right.

Is that supposed to be you?

And who's that?

Not

entirely

necessary to do all that, but okay.

So it seems like we're talking about some faulty rocket skates that...

Backfired when you're trying to capture a bird that you have some sort of sordid

history with?

So, uh, do you have the rocket skates?

Okay, great. So, we're going to write in your name as the plaintiff. Then we'll

say we're asking for, uh, I don't know, $300.

$300. And here, we'll write in the name of the company that made the skates. Let

me guess.

Acme. But they're great to deal with for little stuff like this. We just drop

your skates in a box.

Type up a complaint, and boom, you're the richest coyote in the country. All I

need is a signature. Or if you just want to lick it, that's probably fine, too.

Here we go.

Wait,

Mr. Coyote, hey, somebody grab that guy.

Mr. Coyote, look, I just need you to sign this.

An Acme stapler?

That is how staplers work.

Oh, God.

Okay, I get it. There are problems with Acme's cartoon products. I see it all

the time.

I mean, I'm surprised. Acme makes my phone and my car. Why would they also

make this?

This is just silly stuff for cartoons, you know?

What's the worst that could really happen? They see some birds whipping

around their heads?

Well, it doesn't seem that silly to me. Maybe.

This is a run-of-the-mill $300 Rocketscape case.

Trust me.

Ben, doesn't that mean that's a pile of $300 cases?

Paige, yeah, come on. Do you know what would happen if we submitted all this

stuff as evidence together?

We'd have a giant lawsuit on our hands.

That would be amazing.

And if you could prove a causal connection, then really the sky's the

limit. The sky is not the limit. All right? The limit is, like, right here.

We don't do massive cases. We do quick and easy.

Right?

Huh. Where'd all the stuff go?

So, Mr. Coyote, my professional opinion is that this case is worth, you know, a

few hundred dollars, and I can see if they'll replace the Rockets case.

So I'm going to need you to sign this.

Rude. All right, well, it was nice meeting you.

Do you mind putting the evidence box into the system? I'm going to lunch.

Here you go.

Into evidence, please.

All right, what have we got here?

Gee, someone's chewing for a lot.

Excuse me.

Cartoon products cases go down to the basement.

Governor, he's threatening.

They're taking him out to blackmail.

The law is completely on our side here.

Because we wrote the law.

Yeah, okay.

Great to catch up.

The baby's straightened away on the Plappinger case.

Oh, it's done.

Let's just say his next vacation will be in prison, but I got something else.

Cartoon case?

Basement. Yeah, I think you need to see this one.

They're suing us for every Acme cartoon product.

Who? I wasn't familiar with the name.

Pay me the money you owe me, or I'll sue you for breach of contract.

Okay, I gotta go.

I'll call you later, Mom.

Well, well, well.

It isn't our resident hotshot.

What does that mean?

Serving Acme for every one of their cartoon products.

Yeah, right.

Do I look like the guy who would take on the biggest corporation in the world?

You're looking at the guy who is taking on the biggest corporation in the world.

Channel 4 News has just learned that papers were filed today against the Acme

Corporation. Buddy Crane, Acme's chief legal counsel, declined to comment.

How did this happen?

It's okay. It's okay. It's exciting. All eyes on you. Ready to show them what you

got. Paige, when we sue Acme for some little thing, nobody even notices. We're

a tiny item on a spreadsheet.

But this, this went to Buddy Crane. Who?

Buddy Crane.

He's only, like, the best lawyer in the country. Okay.

Went to law school together, and he is a total machine.

Built like an ox. His mind is sharp as a tack.

Crims his fingernails with a switchblade. You know, I once saw him

eat a lobster. I ate lobster.

While it was still alive.

Not even sure that's legal.

What could I have possibly done to deserve all this?

Did I piss off a witch?

Oh, no.

Winkers.

How did this happen? I just dug up everything that was inside the box.

And I just brought the box inside.

I've just been working on my short game.

I've been on hold for two hours trying to win tickets to the country jubilee.

You.

Do you have any idea what you've done?

You have put me in such a horrible position.

Hi.

This is my old friend, Kevvy.

Yeah, it's been a while.

Look at you, shaking things up. Well, not intentionally shaking, really. I

think we should have a face-to-face, don't you? Your face and my face?

Be in my office in 15 minutes.

Get things right as rain.

Okay, sounds, looking forward to it.

From its humble roots as a cartoon anvil factory, Acme has become America's

greatest success story.

Acme, I say, Acme is an innovation factory. We create the impossible. With

each new product, we revolutionize industry and the world.

We're a company of family values that values its family of companies.

Acme.

Hey!

I don't know what your deal is, but I need you to listen to me very carefully.

Stop! You're going to follow my lead, all right? We're going to tell them this

is all just a big misunderstanding, and we're looking to get this settled as

quickly as possible. We will be polite.

We will not detonate explosives.

If they put something in front of us, we will find it. Got it?

Mr. Avery, Bill Pelicano, and Mr.

Coyote. I'll take you to see Buddy.

So I hear you guys were friends from back in the day, huh?

Guess you could say that if you were incorrect.

And look at this guy going clothing optional.

Hey, Buddy, look who's here.

Yeah, isn't Mr.

Billboard. How you been, man?

Yeah, very good.

Those were the days, weren't they?

Yeah. Harvard Law.

You look... good.

Thank you. Have a seat.

Okay. I gotta say, I was a bit surprised to see your name on a case of this size.

Me too.

I mean, I'm so sorry about all this. It was just a big misunderstanding.

Well, we got a really busy day around here, and I would hate to keep you from

getting back to...

Whatever it is you do.

Yeah. Law stuff, too. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Oh, my God.

And this seems obvious, but I have to say it anyway.

Acme denies all charges and accepts no liability or causal connection between

Mr. Coyote's colorful injuries and our state-of-the-art, life-enhancing family

products. Yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah. And, you know, as much fun as it would

be to get back in a courtroom with you, I think it's time to do what you do

best.

Settle. Yeah.

Um, well, look, thank you so much, and I'm so sorry for taking up all your

time. It was unintentional. I... Uh...

No,

no, no. He didn't mean that. Do you have another copy?

Is this a joke? No, no.

This is not funny.

I thought cartoons were supposed to be funny.

Captain, do you want to be free?

Your tiny farm is unmatched.

We'll tie you in legal loopholes. We'll bury you in paperwork.

I'll put a dozen of my best lawyers in this 24 hours a day to make sure your

name is more synonymous with failure than it already is.

Oh, and I almost forgot.

We don't validate parking.

Do you know what you could do with $50,000?

Do you have any idea how many birds you could buy with that?

You know what? Not that it really matters, but I'm out. Yeah, that's

right. I quit, man.

Go find another lawyer. This is already my personal freaking nightmare, and I'm

not sticking around to see if it can get any worse.

Sorry.

Butterfingers.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Why didn't you settle?

That's what we do here. We settle.

Dottie, what do we do here? We settle.

Okay, I tried to settle, but he wouldn't let me settle. He's a coyote. We're not

even trial lawyers.

I have a miniature golf tournament this weekend, so I don't even know if I'm

going to make it in on Monday.

Plus, trial prep adds up.

Photocopies and this economy.

But if we beat Acme, then we can afford a ton of photocopies. We won't beat

Acme. I mean, nobody ever has, and nobody ever will.

The truth is, even if you quit right now, the firm is already in the hole for

asking for legal fees, and that's just from today.

I mean, that could close down our doors.

Look, if we lose, we lose.

If we quit, we really lose a lot of money.

Look, we got one true goal for this trial.

It's this.

We can't look like fools, all right?

Our job is not to win this case. Our job is to still be in business when it's

over. That's the spirit.

Look like lawyers.

What do real lawyers do? They would find evidence and start making a list of

witnesses.

The bird.

He did witness every time an Acme product malfunctioned. He could

corroborate Wiley's story.

Sure, whatever.

Add the Roadrunner to our witness list.

One more thing.

Where is Mr. Coyote going to stay?

I've been so long in this old town.

I've tried my best to settle down.

Don't give me that look.

Yeah, I live in a motel. Look, I got pool access.

You know, there's no mortgage.

Never have to make my bed.

There's an incredible all-you-can-eat seafood buffet around the corner.

Tissues come out of a throttle of a bathroom wall.

Hi,

Jerry.

Yeah? Yeah.

One second.

Yeah, hi. I need another room for a few nights.

Not near me, please.

He's not a pet.

He looks like a pet.

Who rents a separate room for their pets?

Cherry, come on. I've been living here for almost five years. You know me. No

pets.

All right. Okay.

You want to do this?

Legally speaking, a pet is a domesticated or tamed animal kept as a

companion in or outside an individual's residence.

This is Mr. Coyote. He is my client. He's not my pet, nor anyone's pet in the

eyes of the law. And as such, that sign or any rule that accompanies it does not

apply to him, all right? It does not say no animals. And just my unbiased

opinion, he may actually have a case against you for discrimination.

Yeah.

He pees on the rug.

It's on you.

All right, deal.

But I would need a full workup of urine analysis.

I mean, it's a motel. Plenty of people pee on the rug.

Oh, right next door.

Of course.

Coming up next, a mouse breaks the sound barrier in Guadalajara. One week more to

catch Albuquerque's annual parent festival while it's still in town. Are

you having fun?

We are!

You're kind of a psychopath, aren't you?

Watch and learn.

So we take the subpoena like so. Just cover it with copious amounts of

birdseed. Roadrunner eats the birdseed, grabs the subpoena, and boom. He's

legally obligated to show up to court.

Instant Roadrunner trap.

Beep, beep.

Is this some kind of inside thing with you guys?

Is everyone clear on our plan? No.

Yes. Paige, what's our plan?

So we have to prove to a jury that acne cartoon products are at fault for every

accident that Wiley's had going back years.

So we are going to take pictures, and we're going to gather evidence, and

we're going to put the evidence in little bags, and we're going to

interview experts.

and witnesses, and we're going to highlight big books of photocopied

documents, and we're going to pound the pavement, and we're going to study up,

and we're going to try and catch our big eyewitness by leaving a nice note in the

desert, and if we follow my plan by the end of this, we'll have enough evidence

to take Acme down.

We really have nothing.

I mean, I kind of assumed that we'd have nothing, but this is nothing.

the Second Judicial Circuit of Albuquerque is now in session.

The Honorable Judge Trapa Grosso presiding.

You may be seated.

Human.

Human.

Cartoon.

Quiet! My name is Judge Trapagrosso. The name of the case is Coyote v.

Acme. I am not a loosey-goosey judge. I am a no-nonsense, no-silly

-stuff judge.

Is that understood?

Mr.

Crane.

We live in a great country, don't we?

Because it's one that values freedom above all else. You're free to live your

life any way you see fit. Could mean living in the desert, out in a cave,

spending your days chasing after a bird who is much, much faster than you.

But that is your right as an American.

But that freedom, it comes with great responsibility.

If you were to take a missile, for instance, and you were to glue

handlebars to it, well, that's...

That's your choice.

But we expect you to understand that that missile and those handlebars, they

aren't designed to catch birds.

What I will prove to this jury is that man, Wiley Coyote, he is

reckless. And all of his injuries are self-inflicted.

I mean, we won't condemn him, you or I.

We all know who's responsible.

It's as clear as the desert sky.

I think I just laid an egg.

God bless America.

God bless the troops.

Damn, that was really good.

Please don't write that down.

And please don't write that down. Or that down.

Mr. Avery.

Now, what did the defense say we're going to argue?

Huh?

I mean, I know the answer to it. I know the answer. I'm not asking you a

question. I mean, it is a question, but it's a question that I'm asking to me.

Let me start over. Let me start over.

Objection to my start.

So the defense said that we were going to argue that the products are

dangerous. and that acne is negligent in selling them. I do really agree with all

that. I mean, it's not fancy, but it's true.

Sorry, one second, please.

Wiley, we don't need evidence right now. Mr.

Avery. Okay, excuse me, Your Honor. My client would like me to show you this

defective acne rocket skate. And as you can see, there's a faulty on switch.

God bless America.

God bless the troops.

Opening arguments today in Coyote v. Acme. Sources close to the case report

that Acme is doing a fantastic job protecting their brand and dignity,

while the plaintiff appears hungry and afraid. More after this.

Long week morning at Albuquerque's annual carrot festival while it's still

in town.

Yeah. 241, we've been getting noise complaints about a loud TV.

Seriously? It's the TV you're having a problem with.

Okay, I'll turn it.

Are you having fun?

We are.

Harry, I turned it off.

What's up, Doc?

What is this?

You sure you have the right number?

Your trial. I think I may be able to help you with ACME.

What? I have information that could stop ACME for good.

Oh, my God. You could stop this case?

If this gets out, it'll all be over.

I have an associate with information.

If they figure out what he knows, he's a sitting duck.

Well, who?

Where do I find him? Write this down. I'm only going to say it once. Wait a

minute. Grabbing a pen. Hang on. Hang on.

That doesn't sound like a place I want to go. Look for a jack.

Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

And they make people disappear.

Don't forget that.

I won't.

Will I be able to contact you again?

leghorn. Buddy, I say buddy, you little rascal, you.

That was Bora Bora.

The tax haven's so nice, they named it twice.

So I heard we have ourselves a lawsuit in the animated sector.

Talks PR about this, you know, it's a local paper, and pretty flattering. You

know, I'm going to win this case as fast as I can, but in the meantime, I think

things like this make us look pretty good in the public eye. Not ideal, but

you know, it's like killing two birds with one

Don't. Two birds, one stone. What a vile expression.

I only... Rotten. We both know it would be very, I say, very unpleasant for

everyone involved if anything bigger, I say bigger, were to become public.

mysterious collar. It's so cool.

So what did he sound like?

I don't know. He was kind of like, eh, what's up, doc? I have information.

Chomp, chomp, chomp. He was like chewing on a cracker or something.

Okay.

Well, Matt was saying it should be right here.

It's just a wall.

Jack! God.

Is there a Jack anywhere?

Wait.

What's that?

Oh, that kind of Jack.

Somebody's got a sense of humor.

Well, there's the duck, and he is sitting.

Feels a bit easy.

Well, good thing I like easy.

Excuse me.

Hi, uh, my name is Kevin Avery. This is Paige. I'm a personal injury attorney.

Well, look who decided to show up. Oh, great. Thank you. I wasn't sure if you

knew we were coming. You're a little late, and you're still wearing that

hideous suit. Take your pants off right over there, please, and, um, strike a

pose. Uh, no. It's so difficult to find nude models these days.

Sit down.

Uh... Last for a look?

We're all right, thank you.

Disrobe and pretend you're thinking. I expect this is going to take a few

hours.

Yeah, um, we had an anonymous caller say that you might have some important

information. Yeah, information that can help us end our case quickly.

Information?

Yes. About Acme?

Acme?

Uh,

yes.

Acme. Acme?

He really shouldn't be here.

A can of paint. Well, it could be important. Clearly he's been holding on

to this for a while.

Wait.

That's all, folks.

Are we the book?

Do you think we're going to get kidnapped?

Held to ransom?

I feel so alive.

So what do you think it is?

Thanks.

That looks unspeakably dangerous.

And yet he walked in anyway.

What are you doing?

I'm following Wiley.

I just look like a loser if I stay out here.

Coming into the tunnel.

I bet they don't tell you to walk down mysterious tunnels in your fancy classes

at Oxford.

I bet they discourage it, actually.

Actually, I thought about majoring in mysterious tunnels.

No, you didn't. Yeah, I did.

What have we got here?

Hey! I found a message!

What does it say?

It says Daffy.

I'm not sure how long I have. I hope this message gets to you.

Things have gone awry with Project Sissy Food.

Sisyphus. What is Project Sisyphus?

Acme is watching my every move, and I have a feeling I'm in grave danger.

see this message, please send help.

Dr. Laurie.

Go, go, go, go, go!

Did I not say unspeakably dangerous?

Didn't I say those exact words? I did. Okay. What could this mean? Project

Sisyphus. I don't know.

I don't know. All right. What?

What just happened?

What?

What?

I think they're on to us.

So since this is from Greek mythology, and he was punished by the gods and made

to roll a boulder up a hill every day, but it would just roll right back down

for eternity.

Huh.

And it was also that Daffy was painful.

So what?

That's not evidence.

None of this is going to help us win a trial. All right, it's all just a waste

of our time.

We have a client who, no offense, can't read a warning label.

We have piles and piles of stuff that he himself broke.

We have nothing, Paige.

You've been settling Acme cases for years, and you have never stopped to

think and see a pattern. A pattern? Yes. My clients go boom, and two seconds

later, they're fine.

Nobody cares.

So that makes it okay?

Boom, $100, that's fair?

In this case...

can make it right. This is your opportunity to really show people what

you're capable of.

Yeah, but that only works if I don't lose. And why do you assume you're going

to lose?

Are you kidding?

It is really super easy to lose.

And it's better you learn that now.

You know, everyone thought I was crazy for coming here.

But I didn't want to just go to some big law firm and help the rich guys get

richer.

I thought... I thought you were actually still a real lawyer.

Yeah, me too.

So, uh, what is it about the Roadrunner?

There are no words.

I envy you, really.

It must be nice to have such a clear goal.

I mean, I used to have that, I think.

You know, I was hungry and I was chasing, but I didn't like the pressure

of having to always win.

He got burnt out on prying.

Anyway, you're a really good listener.

What are you doing?

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Stop!

Stop!

Stop! Stop!

Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!

make a point.

Hey, Wiley.

Thanks.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you.

Are you sitting down?

Uh, yeah. Well, it sounds not. Is that going to be a problem?

Wiley is conning us. The only reason he's doing this case is to catch and

kill the Roadrunner during the trial.

That's not good.

It's all just part of a plot. He's just using us so he'll put the bird on the

witness stand. If the Roadrunner shows up to court, it'll be chaos.

I'll look like a fool.

Firm will fold. We'll be mattress salesmen.

That's kind of demeaning to mattress salesmen.

Fine. We'll be garbage men. Kevin.

Okay, garbage people.

My dad's garbage people.

Okay. I'm just really nervous about letting Wiley back into this courtroom.

Without Wiley, there's no trial. With no trial, there's no firm. And without the

firm, we're going to be broke.

I hate to suggest lying to a dog, but you're going to have to convince him

that the Roadrunner will be there.

Paige, I was wrong.

See, we can find out about Project Sisyphus and how it's connected to ACME.

Great. I'm already on it. Okay.

I was just wondering if a Dr. Laurie still lives here?

They listen, you know.

Would you like some tea, dearie?

It was a very happy marriage. He used to work long days,

but would still come home and play the piano for me for hours. because he knew

how much I loved it.

We had 87 years together. I am grateful.

Um, when did Dr. Lorry pathway, if you don't mind me asking?

Oh, he's not dead.

He's missing.

He went to work one day with our little bird, and I never saw either of them

again. They told me he ran off with his secretary, but I... I don't think so.

His secretary was a penguin.

What can you tell me about Project Elizabeth?

What?

Which day what?

Oh, which day as the Roadrunner testifies.

Any day now. Why? Do you have any particular reason for wanting to catch

up with him?

Okay, well, I'll keep you posted.

I need this roadrunner.

Absolutely.

Why exactly?

He's the only one that's seen every time this moron's used our products

incorrectly. I had to bet he's holding a grudge.

Go out there and you bring him to me.

How hard could it be to catch a bird?

Give me lip. I'm going to send you to the yard. Get a stick, make a switch.

I got a new conversation for you. I'm going to be the lion.

Kick a lion in his crack. I will fall up in your crib. Take a deep. Get your on

him. Kick your dog.

Fat boy dressed up like he's got a hand to.

My husband was the head inventor of animated products at Acme. He was so

excited when he got the job. He wanted to make things that really helped

cartoons. Like the anti-lump pump.

An eraser of stinky lines.

Oh, and this anti-predator spray.

After a while, things changed.

He didn't like what was going on.

And then he disappeared.

Recently, I've been getting phone calls.

Sometimes they hang up, but sometimes... What's up, Doc?

I don't know the man on the telephone.

I don't know where my dear husband went. But I know Project Sisyphus is the

reason he's gone.

Obviously, we hit a speed bump.

Does it itch?

Yes.

But I'm afraid to touch it.

You eyes and ears out there, what happened?

What'd you see?

Well, I taught, I taught.

You taught, you taught?

I don't pay you to tink, you taught. I pay you to talk. I taught!

You tall or you taught you tall? Because you just said you taught you tall. I

did. I did tall.

What did you teach?

What did you tall?

A breakdown on the eastern perimeter.

Ultimately, that's where he went off. That roadrunner is very, very fast, sir.

No. Step your game up, bird. They're getting too close.

I don't just want to scare them. I want to ruin them.

I want them to stop digging around.

You know what happens. happened to dr lori you want the same thing to happen

to your granny no please i'll get him tonight i promise

hey great job big dog shut up absolutely

sir i'll say another word

Are you okay?

Oh, I'm totally fine.

I've always kind of wanted to throw a bomb out of a window, but there just

never really was the right time.

Listen, Dr. Laurie's widow gave me this tape, and I've listened to it a thousand

times, and there's something in the background.

But Acme has ears and eyes and ears everywhere.

That's the guy who called me.

Yeah, I know, but can you hear it?

I wish I could say more.

Okay, that's enough.

Wiley, Wiley. Stop that.

Is there some kind of plan to this?

There it is.

Wait.

I know this song.

From where?

I don't know. It's like a TV show or an ad or... Wait.

Albuquerque's annual carrot festival.

Okay, what is that?

A festival of carrots in Albuquerque. It happens every year, annually.

Hello?

Mystery caller?

Mystery caller, who called me?

Tell them we're from Avery Jones and Maltese. We're from Avery Jones and

Maltese. You can show yourself at any time.

So, uh, what is up, Doc?

Who's there?

I'll never tell you, Mac. I'm a creature of the night, a shadow that moves.

You'll never figure out who I am.

Oh, my.

Oh, heavens.

You've seen my face. Don't look at me. I'm too beautiful.

Mystery car?

I tell you, the bunch here has been bumbling and stumbling your way through

this case for weeks.

You're lucky you have me on your side.

Hey, you been followed? Got eyes on you? Caught by a red light camera? Spotted by

a drone?

Have you been bugged?

This is just getting embarrassing now. Look, I got like a million questions for

you. Why didn't you call again? What happened to Dr. Lurie? And what can you

tell us about Project Sisyphus? Enough with the questions, Counselor. This

calls for a flashback.

Dr. Lurie was the head of... The inventor of acne cartoon products, you

see. He built some amazing things.

Essential, like the quick-change machine.

One day, they sent an executive from corporate to oversee things.

The guy was a real toy.

Suddenly, there was a lot of secrets.

They called it Project Sisyphus.

Under the new management, the test became increasingly reckless.

I'm not sure I understand.

What was it all for?

They weren't inventing products for cartoons.

They were using cartoons to invent products.

Dr. Lurie told them this was wrong and that their tests were harmful to

cartoons.

He pleaded with them to put an end to it. But instead, they put an end to him.

Everyone who worked on Project Sisyphus is either missing...

were forced to work for Acme are quacked.

And when did the program end? Don't you see?

It never ended.

It evolved.

Instead of testing dangerous products in the lab, they let them out into the real

world. Yes.

Wiley's rocket skates, they were designed to backfire.

Now you're getting it. The more something breaks, the more a cartoon

gets hurt, the more data to make better Acme products for humans.

Exactly.

Wiley, you're what they call a high usage user. They let you boom and flat

and bang for years and years, knowing full well the toll.

Would you testify to this in court? The world needs to hear this. No, no, no.

You need someone on the inside to spill the beans.

Get the head of PR at Acme to testify. He's a master of spin.

His name is... Uh-oh. That's my cue.

I think they got in.

They didn't. Hey, if anyone asks, tell them your informant was a little hunter

with a funny hat. We're all counting on you. Bye.

Yeah, that's great. No one's going to get through that door.

Any added security is great.

Would you tell us your role at ACME for the record?

Easy,

easy.

Okay, great. If he says anything wrong, we'll get him out of here. Done. And

what does your role as PR representative entail?

ACME. So you have authority to speak for Acme.

What can you tell us about Project Sisyphus?

Mr. Devil, what is Project Sisyphus? Mayor, mind you, you are under oath.

Rejection? Counselors, approach the bench.

This case is turning my courtroom into a circus.

They just ejected my witness.

We don't know that.

I couldn't agree more. I'd like to file a motion to exclude all evidence

submitted by the prosecution.

Save the original pair of rocket gates. All else is overreaching. Motion

granted. Well, are you kidding?

Thank you, Your Honor. Now, in response, I'd like to file a motion for dismissal

due to lack of evidence.

Motion granted.

I'm tired of all this bunk.

You're not allowed to say that.

That's the beauty of being a judge. I can say whatever I want.

Mistrial? There, I said it. Case dismissed.

Case dismissed.

carriage of justice.

But it was not a surprise.

The Acme Corporation has knowingly been putting dangerous products into the

hands of cartoons for decades.

Acme has gone to great lengths to cover up an insidious plot that they call

Project Sisyphus. They have threatened the safety of myself and my clients.

Look, bombs, boulders, pianos, they will stop at nothing but myself

and my associates.

We will keep fighting.

I mean, these companies think they can do whatever they want and get away with

all of it. Because they do.

We're sick of it.

And it stops now.

We're getting ready to launch a...

Excuse me. Moment. Excuse me. Excuse me. More chaos in court today after the Acme

trial was dismissed by the very fair and honorable Judge Troppo Grosso. The

plaintiffs made their objections known by wrestling a six-foot cartoon rocket.

It's all good.

Nothing to see here.

Is that your car?

Hey, Paige.

Have you seen?

What? Your speech.

It's the number one trending news item in the country right now. It's

everywhere. What? They like my speech?

Well, and the car exploding, I think, is a part of it.

Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery.

I gotta go.

Mr. Avery. Mr. Avery. Any comment on Congress agreeing to hear your case? Uh,

uh, Congress?

Thoughts on Foghorn Leghorn agreeing to testify?

No, did you say Congress? They're putting acne under the microscope.

You're going to D.C.

We're going to D.C.? We're going to D.C.? Uh, okay, well, uh,

no, no comment.

Wait,

where are you going?

What? Wiley, no, you can't go.

I need you in D.C. I mean, this is the big showdown. If you don't show up,

there's no hearing. This whole thing will have been for nothing.

The rubber runner will be there.

Yeah, of course.

He'll be there.

Yeah, he's coming.

I promise.

So, come on.

What do you say?

The whole world will be watching.

He'll be there.

What initially seemed to be a case of routine product malfunction has turned

into a David versus Goliath tale as old as time.

We'd like to wish our furry little friend good luck in D.C. We're rooting

for you, Wiley. And we always were, from day one.

When a company is this successful,

there's always someone looking to tear it down.

Sorry about that initial wrong turn out of Albuquerque, folks.

Please be quiet.

Wiley, please be quiet.

Look, I promise you what I have to do is more important than what you have to do.

There's been a change of plans.

He couldn't make it, right?

Okay, fine.

You think I would drag the Roadrunner out here so you could destroy me in

front of the entire world?

Yeah, I know you just wanted him in that courtroom so you could catch him and eat

him. Why would I help you do that?

Okay, yeah, I lied.

I lied.

I needed you to stay with this case.

But you know what? You lied to me.

Huh? You misled me. You made me think that this case was about something.

And it is.

You know, this is way bigger than the Roadrunner. Did you not even process

what the rabbit said?

You're a high-usage user. I mean, look at all this stuff.

You're addicted.

Every explosion, every time you fell to the bottom of a canyon, Acme wanted

that. You know, I changed around my whole life for you.

My entire routine is probably all going to blow up in my face because you wanted

a drumstick.

Oh, myself?

You have only cared about your plan this entire time. Oh, the roadrunner, the

roadrunner. I'm so sick of this roadrunner.

You're never going to catch him!

Okay?

You just, you really aren't.

Just stop trying.

I have to tell you this right before the hearing, but we've spent every last cent

on this trial.

We're out of money.

So what does that mean? It means unless there's some kind of miracle, there's

not going to be a firm to come back to.

I made you guys appointments to donate plasma next week.

I can't go.

I don't want to put this kind of pressure on you.

We just thought you should know.

What is the holdup?

It's like you had a rough night, huh?

Oh, thanks for your believable concern.

Come on. Do you really want to go out there? I mean, almost came with.

Pressure?

What is this?

It's everything you ever wanted.

Freedom from responsibility.

That's no strings attached.

That is under the table. It's for you.

All I gotta do is walk out this door right now.

I mean, come on.

You really want to just keep doing the same thing over and over again? Try,

fail, try, fail.

Expecting a different result.

I just realized that, uh, yeah, I do.

You get the gist.

Oh, my God.

He looks like a stuntman.

Is Wiley here?

He's not with you?

I haven't seen him since we were going 80 miles an hour on the highway strapped

to a refrigerator.

What the hell? I thought you guys were in the hotel room next to me. He feels

so left out.

I'm really screwed up.

He knows the roadrunner's not coming. He knows I lied.

Ugh.

A jerk.

I should have been honest with him. It just seemed easier.

Thank you for joining us today. We are here to determine whether or not Acme

products are a danger to society.

Where was your client?

I'm not entirely sure, to be honest.

Senator Fudd, the fact that Mr. Coyote hasn't deemed it necessary to grace us

with his presence at the scheduled time should tell you all you need to know

about his character.

I think this does tell us a lot.

My client has a long history with Acme. He's been using their products for

decades. Why is that, if they're so dangerous?

He doesn't have a choice, really.

Acme has a monopoly over all the tools required for Mr. Coyote's work. His

work? I have here that he's unemployed and living in a cave.

It's a fact.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Pursuant to Sylvester B. Gonzalez, Chase by Predator is a legal occupation under

the law.

He may not get a salary, but he works.

In fact, he's one of the most hardworking people I've ever met.

And he's brave.

He will walk out onto the tiniest rope over the largest canyon.

He'll straddle a rocket that he's glued handlebars to without batting an eye. I

mean...

Look, when Mr. Coyote first walked into my office, I was the laziest person

you could ever imagine.

I didn't want to work. I didn't want to try anything.

Because deep down, I didn't want to fail.

But he's not afraid of that.

No matter what happens, he picks himself up.

He tries again and again and again and again. He would never think of quitting.

He wakes up every morning with purpose and with hope.

And I think everyone should be inspired by that.

I know I am.

You don't need signs anymore.

Thank you for coming back.

Mr. Weghorn, thank you for taking the time from your busy schedule. Now we've

requested that Mr. Avery ask you a few questions today.

I've been studying this guy in interviews.

He's a blowhard and a huge ego.

Here I am, son.

All right, then. I can work with that.

Mr. Leghorn, are you aware of the ACME program known as Project Sisyphus?

I am familiar with the name.

Okay. And how would you explain the type of program that it is to this committee?

Why, it's one of research and development.

Great. So you're constantly innovating your cartoon product line to make it

better? Yes, sir. Okay. That makes sense.

But if you're studying these products so closely...

Why are they malfunctioning so frequently?

That sounds like something you might tinker with.

Well, son, business is complex.

Okay, now, does any of the information that you get from Project Sisyphus go

into developing the human line?

Sure. Sure. Okay, so you admit it. He just admitted it. Did you hear that? He

admitted it. You're intentionally giving dangerous products to cartoons,

willfully causing pain to millions in this process?

You think progress isn't worth a little pain, a little discomfort?

It is, son. It always has been.

Besides, nothing we've done today or any other day is illegal.

Isn't that right, Mr. Crane?

Absolutely. Absolutely.

The law is completely on our side here, and so is the popular opinion of the

silent majority.

Thank you, Mr.

Crane. Mr. Langhorst. And another thing. Take a seat, son.

I'm asking the...

Questions here. Take a seat, son.

There's nothing cuter than this prosecutor.

I am reminded of my days as a little rooster on the poultry farm where I

learned a valuable lesson.

Cartoons are resilient.

Hit us with a mallet. Throw us off a cliff.

We can take it.

Speaking as a cartoon, I think it could even be a little bit funny. Am I right?

So what's a little pain for the greater good?

Pain is a part of life, and it's valuable.

You like that comfortable rubber in those shoes there, don't you, son?

Well, that's duty-free. We developed it by...

Sometimes they do backfire.

Sometimes they push the boundaries of gravity and science.

But do you all want to live in a world without new, without progress.

Now, what is it you always say, Mr. Crane?

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.

Well, that's right.

And in this case, if that egg is some low-life, cave-dwelling desert dog with

no connections, no family, no friends.

I'm sorry, but so be it. No harm, no foul.

That is not an accurate depiction of my client. Well, I was under the impression

that no one would speak on his behalf apart from his lawyer. Is there anyone

in the whole wide world who cares what happens to the coyote at all?

Mr.

Runner, we will be asking you a series of yes or no questions. Two beeps for

yes, one beep for no.

Do you understand?

Are you a

bird? Are you easy to catch?

Okay, good.

Are you familiar with a Mr. Wile E. Coyote?

Have you witnessed Mr. Coyote using any acne products while in your presence

in the desert?

Have those products always failed.

Mr.

Runner, have you been a witness to Mr. Coyote's pain and suffering?

Beep, beep.

Would you call him a friend?

Beep, beep.

Well, thank you, Mr. Runner. Thank you for coming here today.

Did you have something additional you'd like to say?

Beep, beep.

All right, the floor is yours to add to the record.

Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,

beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.

Are you coming back?

I must admit, I am very, very moved.

However, you have offered no proof of Acme's culpability other than the pain

and suffering of this one singular coyote.

Therefore, as much as it pains me, you leave me no other choice.

All in agreement to dismiss this investigation, say aye.

Aye.

Try, fail.

Well, no hard feelings, boys. It's a tough world out there. Better luck next

time. I think those are the birds you're looking for.

Go for it.

Thank you.

Get back here where you can't walk away from me in a suit like that.

Do you know how much I'm worth?

Don't you laugh.

We tried.

We tried.

And thank you, uh, both for pushing me.

Wait. What's going on?

for what you've done.

What is this?

They all want to sue at me.

Even after how poorly you did, they trust you.

Hey, can you believe that? I can't.

Oh, uh, something's in your office apparently is very important.

Hey, what do we got?

Hey, Counselor, you put up a good fight at Congress, but

nothing says guilty better than some cold, hard evidence.

Here's a gift from yours truly from inside the doors at Acme.

What's that?

About five years' worth of cases.

Looks like we got our work cut out for us.

Shocking new developments in the unfolding Acme case today.

Newly leaked footage from Project Sisyphus triggered a pre-dawn raid on

company headquarters that quickly led to the arrest of Buddy Crane, Acme's chief

legal counsel, and CEO Foghorn Leghorn for their participation in the alleged

misconduct.

Also at the scene, investigators rescued Dr. Peter Lorre, an Acme scientist who

went missing over 30 years ago.

His upcoming testimony regarding Project Sisyphus promises to bring the truth to

light.

Well, don't be a stranger.

Well, sky's the limit.

Sky's the limit.

Breaking rocks in a hot sun.

I bought the law and the law won.

I bought the law and the law won.

I needed money cause I had none.

I bought the law and the law won.

Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Thank you.

Thank you.