Original subtitles

is that

What season is it?

Air India

announces

the arrival of the flight AI-106 from Stockholm, Moscow, and Delhi.

Good day, Mr.

You had a good flight.

Oh, Krishna stole the butter.

Krishna? Your God, Krishna?

Yes, Krishna.

Krishna stole the butter.

Krishna, he stole the butter.

Is there some mystical significance about this?

of all this. What have we here?

Krishna, the divine lover.

I'm inside a nice little hole. Oh, my name is not Gote.

Gote? Your respect to Gote?

Yes. And what is your good name, please?

I'm Svensson.

Axel Svensson from Sweden. I'm supposed to study police work here. Mr. Svensson?

You are Mr. Svensson? Yes, you're supposed to receive me here. Yes, I'm

here only just to receive you. You did not see me waiting there with this card?

Well, it looks like you somewhat got things upside down.

all together upside down.

I'm really very sorry, Mr. Swenson. There has been a terrible mistake.

I'm really very sorry.

This is for you.

Welcome to Bombay, Mr. Swenson.

Excuse me. Is this the next flight to Europe?

Yes, sir, it is.

Where's the ticket counter? It is there, sir.

Thanks.

What did he think I was carrying?

Drug? No, diamonds.

This diamond smuggling is a big headache for us.

You know, sir, there are more uncut diamonds smuggled into India than to

anywhere else in the world.

This contact man who approached you, he has a very long police record.

I've had my eye on him for some time.

But he's just a small fry.

It would be good if we could get our hands on the big and powerful ones who

are behind it all.

I can see my stay here is going to be most interesting.

How are you? Fine? Fine.

Thank you, sir.

Gauti. Yes, Commissioner sir. Yes, sir. Have you heard about this perfect

murder? Perfect murder?

Yes, at Hiralal's house.

At the house of Lala Hiral?

Yes, yes, of course, sir, the big builder.

He's so wealthy.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, right away.

Top priority,

sir.

Listen, you wait here.

You wait here.

The perfect murder.

In my house, the house of Lala Hiralal, they have dared, violated my fortress

with their knives, their guns, their pistols, their clubs, to strike at the

innermost middle of my heart.

But no, I will crush the lying, formicating devils, blot them out,

squeeze them into powder, crumble them into dust of dust.

Sir, there are 500 murders in Bombay every year.

But who cares?

How am I concerned if there are 500 murders in Bombay?

Are there 300 murders in my house? Are there 200 murders in my house?

Are there 100 only?

Are there 10? Are there 5?

Are there only 2?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. In my house there is only one, the perfect murder.

But sir, why are you all the time saying that this is perfect murder?

Because it is the perfect murder.

It is the murder of my secretary, Mr. Perfect.

Mr. Perfect, your secretary.

Oh, I see. Then, sir, do I understand that this murder has business motives?

Business madness?

Inspector, you are a much better fellow than you look.

See, they have sent goondas by the night to kill him. Ruffians.

See, and where is it they could have affected entry?

Entry? What entry, Pantry?

No one can affect entry into my house.

I am having all latest American imported alarm systems.

Inspector Zahid, not even you would break into my house if you wanted to.

Oh, well, I should not want to, Lalaji.

So, Lalaji, now we come to the servants.

All blocked out, locked out for the night.

Your servants were locked out on the night in question?

All of them?

Is that customary? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

In that case, I must request you to kindly furnish me with a list of all the

members of your household.

No member of my household was involved in the perfect murder.

Yes, Inspector.

It was here that it was happening.

The body?

The body has been moved?

Body, Inspector.

But there is no body, Shoddy.

Whoever told you that Mr. Perfect is dead only?

What are you saying, sir?

I am saying that Mr. Perfect is not dead, dead. That is why he has been

moved away from here where I was finding.

In that broken head of his are all my figures, figures.

What? The perfect murder?

A.T.P. Thamant was putting me in charge of the perfect murder.

You also were talking of the perfect murder.

I was talking of the perfect murder. It is the perfect murder. No.

It is murder only when victim in question is killed.

When victim is not killed, it is attempted murder. Or assault occasion in

previous hurt or some other crime in Indian penal code. If the murderer tried

to murder him, then it is murder.

And inspector, I am looking to you to solve the same.

I cook at the kitchen.

What time do you get up at midnight?

Stand up.

What are you doing?

Shut up.

Okay, let's go. Next.

Name?

What's your name?

Deepa. What do you do?

I work as a leader.

What time do you get up at midnight?

9 o'clock.

Next. Come on.

Sir, tea.

50,000.

Sir,

ACV sir wanting to see you immediately.

Ah, Goethe.

Now,

Mr. Swinson here seems to think you are the man for him. Hello, Mr. Gatti.

Oh, hello, sir.

So I hand him over.

Show him how we work.

Top priority.

Yes, sir.

Glad to be of service, sir. And, Goethe, show him how we do work.

Not how we let diamond smugglers get away from us by looking after urchins

pretending to be hurt, yeah?

Or how we make messes of things there for us, yeah?

No, sir.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. I'll give you a chance.

One more.

Intelligence Valas have a tip that a new film at Seven Arts Studios is being

financed by diamond money.

Mahurat is this morning.

I want you to be there. Keep your eyes thin.

Yes, sir. But have we any further information?

Mahurat? What exactly is a Mahurat?

Oh, Mahurat.

Oh, Mr. Svensson, Mahurat is a ceremony to start any new enterprise with

blessings of God.

You mean the mystical elements even? Quite so. Excuse me. Quite so.

Number one priority, Ghotis.

Minister for Police Affairs is chief guest, so I suggest you get there at the

double. But, sir, you told me to give the perfect murder, perfect case number

one priority, sir.

And then this diamond case itself also, and now also Mr. Svensson here.

What are you talking to me about, Inspector?

Am I a mother that I have to nurse my officers right at day?

Look at me.

Don't I have such questions to decide at each and every moment?

Yes, sir.

You're not the only police officer, Mr. Goethe, who has ever had to make a

decision.

Yes, sir.

Come along, Mr. Stenson, please.

Goodbye, Mr. Stenson. Goodbye.

And, Goethe. Sir?

For God's sake, get yourself a shave.

Yes, sir.

He's worshipping the camera.

He's just paying respects to what he calls the tools of the trade.

And the religious meaning. I want to understand all about it.

It's putting on the garland, the only ceremony.

No, no, there's much... Tell me.

You can see it for yourself.

No, no, not good enough.

But I told you.

Perfect murder.

By a perfect case.

Perfect.

Uncle.

I better go.

Come, come, sit down.

Oh, Miss Pinkle, I'm delighted to meet you.

I too, Minister Ji.

And if I may say it, more beautiful in flesh than on

screen.

Thank you.

Oh,

these beautiful jewellery.

Surely they were made to show off for beauty like yours.

Oh, but Minister Ji, These are only costume things.

They are absolutely worthless.

She's giving him a dagger ring.

That is only for the filming, Mr. Swinson. It is altogether worthless.

Seven o'clock, motor chart.

Listen very carefully.

Krishna stole the butter.

Krishna stole the butter.

Oh, you're another one, are you?

God, she was beautiful.

Don't you think so?

I'd really like to meet her again.

Sometime when we're not upside down.

Excuse me, Lalaji sir.

Excuse me, Lala Hiralalji.

Allow me to introduce Mr. Svensson.

From Sweden.

He's here to examine our police methods.

Dalaji, there are questions that must be put.

If you do not mind, will you kindly inform as to your movements on the night

of the murder, at the time of the attack?

You are asking me?

You are asking Lala Hiralal to account for his...

Movements? Huh? Have you gone mad, Inspector?

Or is your brainstorm coming to your head?

Sir, it is official procedure as laid down.

Laid down's paid down. I am not one of your procedures. Sir, obstructing an

officer authorized to question is a most serious matter. Let me warn you.

You must warn me?

I must be warning you, Inspector Detector.

One more bit of this and you will be out of Inspector and into Constable. Walking

the streets you will be in poorer quarters too.

Nevertheless. I insist on answer. Mr. Swenson here will confirm it is your

bounden duty.

Inspector, how can a simple man like me answer all these questions?

You must talk to my Dilip.

Dilip is my eldest son.

Take over from me one day, he will.

He is taking advantage also.

Imported cars,

lunches, punches, holidays, suited, booted.

But he is doing some good also.

Some good.

When American man look at me, you think any person will come and talk to me,

Lala Hiralal?

I suppose you would be too much for them to digest. Yes.

You are quite a joker. I see.

Quite a joker.

When American man look at me, he thinks Lala always cheating him. But when he

looks at Dilip, he says, nice guy to do business with.

But look here, you can't really want to question me.

I mean, I know somebody had a bash at that ridiculous old bossy.

Sir, you are talking of a gentleman who is lying in this house.

who even at this moment may be deceased.

Very well, then.

Be quick about it.

Mr. Svensson, would you like to have a try?

Oh, thank you.

Have you used the butter before?

Butter? No, butter.

To begin with, Mr. Bilal, at what time did you last see Mr. Perfect?

My dear chap, I don't think I took any particular notice of the fellow.

Not quite so much, Mr. Svensson.

Gently, gently.

Then I must ask you what... Far too hard, Mr. Svensson.

Mr. Dilibla, I must ask you what you were doing in detail... What you were

doing in detail on the night of the attack.

Inspector, are you accusing me of killing that fearful old fellow?

No, I'm not accusing.

I'm just...

Well, you can whistle for your answer.

Thank you, Mr. Swenson.

Ah, Mr. Swenson, perhaps you'd care to join me at my club for a game sometime.

Thank you.

I'm Inspector Gordy, CID.

How's he now?

Not much better, not much worse, poor dear.

Come, have a look.

Odd injury, isn't it?

I wonder what could have caused it.

An uptick.

Just look at this.

On the other hand, there's a sharp cut on top.

Mr. Prem Lal.

He's obviously a budding detective.

What?

Shakespeare.

Hamlet. Oh, Shakespeare.

The young man is obviously very much of actor.

Not at all the son of such a man as the Lala.

But the question is, what part is he playing?

Suppose he's playing the part of Hamlet, killing old Polonius, the royal

secretary.

You know she was Swedish?

Ingrid Bergman?

Swedish.

Unfortunately, the minister has had to leave.

I am Jain, his PA, and he has asked me to say everything he

would have said himself.

Inspector, what I have is the mystery of the missing ring.

I beg your pardon? I believe indeed you have seen the ring in question already.

The minister has received it as a gift from famous star Miss Twinkle.

Oh, yeah.

And the minister insists that its disappearance be investigated with the

utmost rigor.

But I happen to know that this ring is absolutely worthless.

We are not talking of money value here, sir. The minister attaches great

importance to that ring.

Yes, sir. Where exactly did that ring disappear from, please? The minister

placed that ring here himself.

In my presence at 11.30 a.m. But one hour ago, the minister found it had

gone, vanished.

And who had entry here? No one.

But surely the... Inspector, I was sitting at my desk outside that door for

the whole time without one minute's absence.

And what about the minister's peon? Peon?

What's a peon?

We call personal office servant.

Yes, what about the minister's peon?

Surely you don't mean to tell me that a peon had no occasion to come in here?

Felix Souza had occasion.

But he's not to be found.

Felix Souza.

Felix Souza.

Looks like the right area.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Can you tell me where Felix Souza lives?

Who?

Felix Souza, have you ever seen this man?

This is a photograph of the man, Felix Souza.

What? What did you say?

I'm Mr. Ghotay from CID.

Please take a look at this photograph and tell me if you have seen this man.

He is wanted by the police.

All the same, fella.

Smile.

Where were you? Any luck?

No. I'll look for him here now.

What's all this about?

It is Bholenath.

What? It's the holy bull.

It answers questions.

The bull answer?

Yes.

It's the bull of Lord Shiva who knows all things.

His answers are greatly respected.

What's he saying?

What's he saying to the bull?

He's asking the bull which of all the people he has ever seen has never told a

lie.

It's nodding at the baby.

Sousa. What?

There.

Look.

There's the moron.

Hmm?

Felix Sousa?

I want you on a charge of stealing one ring from the Minister for Police

Affairs. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my...

All right, now what have you done with the ring?

Come on, come on, answer up. Where is it?

Inspector, I never took that ring.

Then why did you run from office?

No, Inspector, I never.

Inspector, I stayed there for a whole damn time.

You stayed there the whole damn time?

Then what the hell are you doing here now?

Oh, God. You are goddamn right, Inspector.

I bloody ran off. With the ring, huh?

Where is it? Come on, come on, hand it over. No, Inspector, I never took that

ring. Then why did you run?

Everybody in the offices, when I was a thief, every damn person.

This is the sort of difficulty you have in police work in the city.

If only people would behave in a simple, reasonable, logical manner.

Come on. What?

Come on. Where?

Come on.

Mr.

Can the bull tell if this man has stolen from his master?

Money. So

you

did steal the ring from the master, yes?

I did not steal that ring.

Huh? Not never.

Today I couldn't steal one damn thing.

Mr. Jain was not allowing me into the office.

I did not steal that ring.

Now.

First class work, Gautier.

When you catch this man Souza, Gautier, you let him go.

You let him go.

But, sir, there was not evidence.

Damn evidence!

The minister wanted some person charged cheated.

You failed to produce.

No, no, no, no, no, no. This is unfair.

Inspector Goethe's done a damn fine job and you couldn't treat him like that.

This pay on a pay hang or whatever, he didn't steal the ring. No, no, no.

You can't frame an innocent man just because it's convenient.

Sir.

Sir, I intend to pursue investigation of the vanishing ring.

But, sir, I need to... Sir.

I need to speak with the minister himself.

And now, you propose to Badger such a person as the minister?

Yes, sir.

I must.

Whenever he will see me.

Sir, this man Suzette did not steal the ring.

Then, be it on your own head, Cody.

Okay, sir. Oh,

by the way, thank you very much for...

Trying to help me out in his office.

Don't mention it.

And remember, Gautier, whenever you're in trouble, just let me know. I'll be

glad to help. India, you know, we don't argue with our superior officers.

I think you should go home now and have a good night's rest.

Yes. My wife will be waiting for me.

Still she will be waiting for me.

She'll have my meal ready, my bath all prepared.

Maybe she'll even press my feet.

Press your feet?

There's nothing like a good Hindu wife waiting.

Perhaps before I leave India, I will have such a perfect wife.

Good night.

Good night.

Where have you been all day?

I'm telephoning and telephoning the whole day, and they say you are out on

duty.

Duty all day, all night, and then all day again.

And here your child is sick, ill, dying, and the father doesn't care.

What?

Ved is ill?

Have you informed Dr. Bambawala?

What use is Dr.

Bambawala? Doesn't a mother know better what to do than a doctor only?

Oh, I see.

So you have been able to comfort him, huh?

Is he sleeping now?

Yes, after two full hours of crying.

When the father comes home, the sick child is sleeping.

He does not care what agony the boy had to endure. I did not know he had to

endure any agony.

They gave me two cases at once, both top priority.

It's duty, I suppose.

Yes, duty.

Duty. Always it is duty.

You and your police force.

Never do they think of the wife at home with a child sick and worry beating at

her grave.

Oh, no.

It is always, Inspector Ghotek, go there. Inspector Ghotek, come here.

Never, never, Inspector Ghotek, go home and see if your wife is needing you.

It's not me you are married.

It's the police. It is my duty.

It's...

It's how I earn my living.

Living? What living?

When? Never, never, never will I get my colour TV.

When Mrs. Kelkar has and Mrs. Gore also.

So now we are back to colour TV.

What do you want with colour TV?

Did your parents ever have a colour TV?

Did they have any TV whatsoever?

For years people in India have got along without colour TV and suddenly you

cannot get on one day more unless you have it. Well, you are not going to get

it.

colour television. There will not be for many, many years to come.

Now you've woken him up.

I'm not sleepy anymore.

Come to bed soon.

What case are we working on today? The ring, diamond, or perfect case? The

perfect case, still.

I've been unable to get anything out of Lala. You know Lala, his family.

I was trying to meet Prem, the youngest one.

Oh, the budding detective.

Oh, the master criminal, I don't know which.

But you really should be more tough on the Lala family.

You shouldn't be so polite. You should be more Swedish.

Oh, Mr. Swenson, I must do it my own way.

You saw him? Are you sure he has come? Definitely, I know him.

Perhaps he's not... There he is.

Oh, yes. That's Brim, yeah?

Thank you. You're welcome.

Mr.

Brimler?

I'm Inspector Cody.

This is my friend, Mr. Svensson, from Sweden.

Can I talk to you for a minute, please? Of course.

Please, but not after.

Even with brutality.

So you think it is my duty, huh?

Yes.

And it is my duty not to let you get answers.

You have to do what the police have to do.

I've got to do what the murder suspect has to do. Oh, I see.

We must all play our part, is it?

But what if you have got hold of the wrong part?

The wrong part?

What if you are not a murder suspect?

But I am. I must be. Why?

A murder was committed in my house.

I was at home, but no alibi.

I have to be a suspect.

But I won't tell you a thing.

I see.

Now, listen, Mr. Frame, it would be better if you would... My brother, sir,

he won't let any filthy policewoman bully him. And I agree.

You agree?

Well, Phillips had a shock.

He wouldn't always be rude like that.

And you? You have also had a shock?

I mean, when you hear something like that, even about your sister-in-law...

What? That she'd been violated.

Violated?

But when did this act take place?

No damn business of yours, Inspector.

But who was it that violated her?

Was it Mr. Perfect?

Mr. Perfect?

That's dry old dick. He couldn't violate a fly.

Well, then who was it?

It's an absolute family secret.

Never. No, listen, young man.

This is not a game where you can invent anything you want.

You are a real-life suspect.

Remember that.

One out of only five.

Come, Mr. Swinton, let us go.

Excuse me, Lala ji.

Oh, policeman, policeman.

What are you doing creeping about my house, eh?

Have you come here to seek out my women folk?

Shouldn't you be going here and there through all Bombay to find one vanished,

vanished ring?

Why are you here?

Sir, we are looking for your daughter-in-law.

Oh, so you suspect that my little Nina Pina has killed that

long old fool, eh?

Hey, you're right.

There she is.

This is your charm, Inspector. I know very well your joking manner, but one

must not choose lightly a member of one's own household.

Lightly, rightly.

Let me tell you, Inspector, she is a very dangerous woman.

She is a sea demon.

Excuse me, madam.

Mr. Swanson, the great criminologist.

I've always wanted to meet a great criminologist.

Yes.

Madam, I am afraid... Inspector, shouldn't you be finding out who hurt

the poor dear Mr. Perfect?

Yes, Mr.

Svensson here would very much... Mr.

Svensson here would very much like to know how you really spent the evening of

the attack on Mr. Perfectman.

Me? Oh, yes.

The great criminologist is interested in me.

Well, he would be more interested if you would answer, madam.

You don't want to know what a creature like me was doing?

He does.

Oh, yes, I does. I do.

It's perfectly simple.

I went to my room, my bedroom.

Just as soon as dinner was over, I had a terrible, terrible headache. So I just

lay there.

Lay on my bed.

Nothing on.

Nothing over me. Just lying there.

Yes.

And did anybody see you in your room?

Only my maid.

How could anyone else when I was lying there so naked?

Who was it that attacked you?

I am Mrs.

Lakshmilal.

My daughter-in-law has been causing you difficulties.

Oh, no, no, no, madam. I think she was perhaps becoming a little upset.

Oh, this is... Mr. Svensson from Sweden.

I trust you are having an enjoyable stay in Bombay. Yes.

And now, Inspector.

You have questions for me?

Questions?

Yes. I would like first to know, if it is at all possible, what were

your movements on the night of the murder?

Murder, Inspector.

So you are thinking Mr. Perfect has died.

No, no.

I meant... On the evening of the attack, I supervised the cook.

I saw that the dishes were being cooked correctly.

And then we ate.

And then I left the menfolk until the hour of the puja, which I had ordered.

Madam, puja at midnight?

The most auspicious hour for the gift I wanted to ask for, Inspector.

I see. And what was that, Madam?

It's a puja when asked for all kinds of blessings, Inspector.

No, Madam, but you said this puja was for one blessing only.

Affairs of religion are very personal matters, Inspector.

An attempt at murder is hardly a personal matter, Madam.

No, this must remain my private business.

Madam, I am... Madam, I am thinking that

perhaps you are not always approving of what your husband is now doing.

And also of advice he may have been getting from Mr. Perfect.

Inspector, this is a conversation I do not wish to pursue.

But, Mrs. Lawley... Yes, Mr. Svensson.

Nothing, nothing.

Inspector, I'm sure you know your way out.

Oh, Axel, what a woman.

Oh, yes.

She was all the time giving me the feeling of being without my trousers on.

I had that feeling, too.

You know, the way she looked at me.

Looked at you?

Who?

Yes, it was. Didn't you see? It was like sex pouring out of her ears.

Her ears?

Mrs. Lars' ears.

Mrs. Lars?

Oh. I thought you were talking about Nina.

Oh, no, no.

Mrs. Lyle. Mrs. Lyle, yes. Oh, I agree completely. She's a tough woman.

She must be ruling her husband with an iron rod.

Maybe.

He's got too ambitious for her.

And she respects Mr.

Perfect for it.

And then like a... like a destructive goddess.

No, no, no.

Not altogether.

But she... Don't say it.

He must be alive still.

He must be alive.

You know, I've got it into my head that if he dies,

then I will never, never find the model.

Don't be in a hurry. Come.

I'll just make a phone call and come. Yes.

Be here.

I know all. Let me tell you about your fortune of tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a very fine day for you.

Come on, that's easy to say, a fine day.

You come to India from far away.

Do I look as if I was born here?

But you are here for one important purpose.

So it's almost everybody with a wrong view.

How do you know that?

Do you know what that mouth says? Obey

no attention, Mr. Svensson. These fellows... Well, see you tomorrow

morning.

Okay, see you tomorrow, Mr. Goethe. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Are we off?

I put you here to keep an eye on the Swedish gentleman, not to make jokes.

Dr. Saab, but it was very good, this guy.

Let me test you. I know all.

You will know a lot more if you keep your eyes open.

Mr. Lal sir, these Parsi prayers, is he dead?

No, but he's getting worse.

A precaution I am taking.

Such expensive Parsi prayers can do good only.

for me to say that he had spoken.

Not a bit, love. Not now. But he's been mumbling a lot.

What did he say before? You told you had heard.

I made a note of it right away.

Best thing to do with this racket outside.

Minister, tell Lala Ji secret, secret, secret.

That's all.

Every last word.

Didn't tell him.

Phoned you right away.

Listen.

Listen to that.

Parsi prayers?

In this house? In a house dedicated to Lord Krishna?

How did you dare?

But Mr. Perfect is... Not one word about your Mr. Perfect. He will live if God

wants him to. But to insult Lord Krishna?

But soon... Soon, soon.

What is your soon, soon?

In one half hour will it end?

In two hours will it end?

But it is only prayers.

Parsi prayers.

Here. Here.

In this house. When this chanting will go straight into my puja room, right

into Lord Krishna's ears.

But diamonds?

I will give him many more diamonds to block his ears.

Diamonds?

Diamonds we have enough already.

What we need is some peace in this house.

Peace in this house?

Have we ever had peace in this house?

Peace in this house with your pujas in the day and pujas in the night?

Peace in this house with that Neena Pina and her... Drinking, pinking in a madcap

vase? Enough.

It is not Nina we are talking.

It is Parsi chanting we are talking.

No, I am talking about... Enough. Not one more word.

What I am wanting from you is your solemn promise.

Never, never will you allow such desecration in my house.

But... Your solemn promise.

All right.

All right.

I swear.

I swear.

Never. Never.

Never, never, never, never.

Thanks. Sir, I must speak with you, please.

Yes, what do you want?

Your shadow, sir.

My shadow? I tell fortunes by reading shadows, sir. You have a very great

shadow.

How do you make that out? There is also a very great danger hanging over you.

It's most urgent I learn about this. Will you please come with me? I'm sorry,

I don't have time, really.

I believe a fat rich man, you know a fat rich man, could be maha dangerous for

you. Amazing.

Yes, he could be maha dangerous. I could show you a way to fight this danger,

sir.

But for that, I need to measure your shadow on the yantra of my house. Please

come with me, sir. My friend, please don't go with this man.

Maybe evil man.

No, no, no, no, no. Please don't believe, sir.

Come,

come, come.

You need to think of it.

You may have a point.

I'm telling you, please don't go. For God's sake.

Next call.

Why don't we got time for all of this?

...the diamonds you brought here.

I told you, I know nothing of any diamonds.

Come, come, come.

Why did you not hand over the diamonds when you were told Krishna stole the

butter? Why? I never had any diamonds, damn you!

Shiva!

Look at that man, Swedish.

Not very big, eh?

You could throw him away like paper.

But let him give you one, my son, Swedish.

Just one massage and then you will see.

Yes, it's there. Sir, this is the way letter given to you by Sadhu Maharaj.

This one by Sadhu Maharaj? This one by Sadhu Maharaj.

Here you go.

Thank you, sir.

Stop! Stop!

Boss, just hide yourself. What happened?

See that man on the balcony.

He took Sun Sen's car.

That means Sun Sen's car is still there inside that building? I think so.

Be careful, boss.

What we should do now?

No time for a raid also.

That lady's moustache is coming this way.

Yeah.

Must be going to magazine house. Yeah.

I have an idea. Come.

What was that?

What a great pity you don't understand our language, Swedish.

The foreigners just come and come, but don't understand anything at all, do

you?

No, that is our wedding picture.

Oh, I'm sorry. Five years ago.

Shall I help you?

Oh,

just a minute. Just a minute.

Come,

please.

Shouldn't you have been meeting the minister today instead of saving Swedes

all over town?

Luckily, the minister meeting got postponed.

But I would have saved you all the time.

I hope the food is to your liking, Mr. Svensson.

Thank you.

You're right.

She's the perfect Hindu wife.

So willing, so mild.

Yes. Do you really press your will?

Yes, yes.

Sometimes.

You've been married for five years.

But you've only got one child.

Oh, yes.

For the time being.

It's not top priority.

Well, I have.

I had a girlfriend in Sweden.

You're not married?

No. Oh, see.

I didn't think it was a good idea, so... And we didn't agree about me going to

Bombay either.

But you should have asked her to come here with you.

Oh, I did.

She said she wanted to come here.

I see.

I wasn't too keen on coming here without her.

Oh, but Mr. Svensson, you should have been firm with your boss.

Yes, you should have told your boss that you refused to go to Bombay.

You should have stayed there with her.

She's my boss.

She is?

Yes, she works for the Department of Justice.

She's the one who sent me here.

I see. To get some peace.

Are all Hindi wives like that? So mild?

You know what I mean.

Yes.

No.

It all depends on the man, you know.

A man must know how to tackle a woman.

You must be firm with them. You must be fair with them. But you must be firm

with them.

A woman appreciates this kind of thing.

It must be very clear who is wearing the trousers in the house.

Should I in your uniform for the meeting with the minister?

Inspector, am I a physically attractive man?

We have other important matters.

So, I am physically unattractive.

Repulsive you.

Exactly.

And yet, Inspector, I have not found it necessary to go without the solace.

You and your kind find in marriage.

You think me wrong, Inspector?

Sir, I'm here only to talk about the ring that vanished from this room only.

Speak, Inspector, speak.

Sir, it is this.

Only five people in entire Bombay knew about this theft.

Myself, ACP Kamal, Mr. Trenson from Sweden. To the European.

and Mr. Jain, your personal assistant.

Yet a prominent businessman in the city spoke to me about the ring.

Sir, how can he have learned about it?

Perhaps one of these five told him?

Sir, which one?

Certainly not myself, nor Mr. Fenton, nor H.P. Thaman. He's not the sort of

person who would let out confidential information.

It could not be Suza, your peer. He's in the police lockup, charged with other

theft.

That leaves only Mr. Jain.

May I question him here and now?

No.

I congratulate you, Inspector.

I am the sixth person.

Yes, Inspector.

I played a little trick on you.

You proved to be a good detective and saw through it.

You are perhaps too good a detective, too good, Inspector, to be worrying

about a perfect murder. That is, after all, not a murder.

Perhaps just a simple accident.

Don't you think, Inspector, that your talents could be utilized for other

things?

No, sir.

I have been put on the perfect case, and I will investigate until I find out

exactly what happened that night.

Very well, Inspector.

But remember, Inspector, that even Lord Krishna thought it well to be worldly

wise.

Come along, Axis Up.

Come along, please. I had a difficult time tracing the Lala here.

Come along. It's amazing that modern skyscrapers can be built in this ancient

way.

It's a cheap labor.

Is the Lala's fortune spent with the sweat of these women?

Yes.

And I have a feeling the Lala makes money in other ways, too.

I am sorry to intrude over here, but... What are you chasing me, chasing me here

also, Pulsiya? Sir, there are questions which must be answered, wheresoever you

are. Questions which you yourself must answer. Oh, Inspector, what a little

mongoose, never letting go you are. But Inspector, sometimes, even the little

mongoose, mongoose has got to forget about the snake and sleep.

Sometimes it eats, sometimes it dreams, and sometimes there is also that

question of sexual matters.

So, now you should forget about the mongoose and become a man, and this is

the right time to do it. No, sir, this is not the time.

Until this case is solved, I am the investigating officer.

Just a minute, Lalaji. I have come to know that your son, Dilip's wife, had a

shameful affair with some person before marriage.

I need to know who that... No, Inspector, you do not need to know...

Dilip,

what the damn hell are you doing here?

Still doing business with the man.

Still doing your shady deals with the minister in spite of all that he's done

to me. Listen, Tariq.

I have told you before.

Your private matter I can understand.

But this is business. You can't bear the sight of a man who has violated your

daughter-in-law without the right. I'm beating you to the shit out of you.

You're not alone.

Excuse me, sir.

You were learning of this on the night of the attack on Mr. Perkins?

You keep out of my private life, Inspector.

Ah, but you have nothing to worry about, my dear Inspector.

I am your friend, remember?

If there is anything at all that you may need, all you have to do is say.

And if I want something, all I have is I can rely upon you.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute. Are you trying to bribe this police officer?

It's all right. Are you trying to make a deal with Inspector Gautam? Mr. Swedish.

If I hear anything like this... Mr. Swedish, I tell you, I got it. You are

poking your nose rose into matters which are much bigger, bigger than you think.

Sir, sir.

Sir, sir. He can't see.

Quiet and stay here.

There's the booger room.

Calm down.

Oh, dear.

How is he?

Not too good, my dear. Unless that damn rain comes, he can't last much longer.

Where is she?

Why are you so furious at that poor girl?

It's not her. It's this case.

Stop the cat.

Oh, fine.

We finally decided to tidy up. After having filmed the entire house upside

down.

Senton?

That could be the murder

weapon.

Yes, this could be the murder weapon. It was just such an object as would have

made the wound.

Though why the attacker did not use it upside down, I cannot think.

Ah, look.

There.

Is it a speck of red blood?

Yes.

You see, it would have been the logical thing for the attacker to use the

candlestick upside down.

To hit with the heavy base.

If he had done that, Mr. Buffett could have been killed at one moment.

But whoever it was held the candlestick by the base and hit with the upper one.

Upside down.

Or upside down, upside down.

Quite right.

Welcome to Buffett.

Come

on,

son. Come on, how long is it going to take?

Yes, Prince will write.

Who's? Who's Prince?

Well, I can't say until I've checked them with the Prince I took at the house

last night, can I? You've got to have all 16 points agreeing before they count

as proof, you know. All 16?

Yes, quite right.

Please, would you check it up now for us? Please, Sergeant?

Yes, just what I told you.

A clear set as you could find.

Brought them up just beautifully.

Yes, but whose?

Whose? Whose? Whose? Whose? Please, Inspector, I'm judging a matter of life

and death.

Mr. Prem?

Mr. Prem, love?

No doubt about it.

16 points and more.

came to this country.

Come on, come on, don't listen to all this nonsense.

It's off from here. Mr. Graham.

If you haven't done anything, why were you running?

Are you telling me what this is all about?

I went inside the room.

I looked carefully at everything there.

I saw the candlestick. And then you picked it up and hit poor old Mr.

Perfect? No, no, no, Inspector. It was not on the night of the perfect murder

that I went in. It was not?

No, it was the day after.

The day after?

But Sherlock Holmes would do.

And I picked up a candlestick because it would be a fine murder weapon. No, just

a minute, just a minute, just a minute. Just a minute.

That means that the candlestick was wiped clean before Prem here touched it.

Did you realize there was only one set of prints on the candlestick?

That's something that has been worrying me all along.

If the attacker's prints were earned, then there should have been others too.

Servants and... Oh.

I report you for police brutality.

I will.

You know what's wrong with you?

You never really do anything.

What do you mean, huh?

What do you mean?

I've been working like hell only.

All that work.

What makes you think you are so clever?

And what about you?

You've only just been creating difficulties for me each and every day.

Oh, that's gratitude.

When I've specially kept a low profile just to let you solve the case on your

own. Low profile?

Yes, a low profile.

Oh, yes, low profile. Yeah, low profile. Like upsetting a whole Mahoret by

chasing after that photo, Allah?

What is wrong with you?

Or you... Using a Bholenath Bull as if it is some electronic lie detector?

Or telling an influential man like Lala Hiralal that he's a blackmailer himself?

Well, at least I did something, didn't I?

Isn't that right?

In Sweden, we would have had every suspect talking by now.

Oh, yes. Yeah.

We wouldn't go around oozing humility to everybody.

That is not humility, you... You big Swede.

That is just proper, systematic, step-by-step investigation.

One step forward and two steps back.

No, what about your wit?

If you were in charge, you would have upset all the evidences and had the

wrong man in the dock. And you would need at least a minister as a corpse

before you got down to proper work.

It's raining.

It is here.

It is here, Mr.

Svensson. The monster is here.

Oh, beautiful.

You know, Mr. Spencer, when the monsoon comes to Bombay, everything changes.

Where are you going?

Downstairs, downstairs.

Out? Yes, in the rain.

In Bombay, everyone dances when it rains.

Maybe. Maybe.

Lalaji! Mr. Perfect is alive.

He has recovered.

He is well.

Well! Aha!

So he is well, eh, Inspector Director?

And I, Lala Hiralal, will prosper.

The old stick will grow leaves in the rain. And the other old stick, the

minister also.

He will lose his caution. He will stop talking, talking about. Let us wait and

see what happens about the perfect murder and tell me, my God!

Yes, yes. Minister came in secret to my house itself.

Oh, what a night to choose. What shaming naming.

What trouble bubble.

Ah, but you are a cunning fox, Inspector. You have guessed, eh?

Who cares?

Axel Saab, I have something to tell you.

I have solved the perfect murder. What? Yes, good.

Imagine...

Lala Hiralal sends Mr. Perfect to finalize details with the Minister for

Police Affairs.

You remember the note the nurse gave me?

Yes. Yes, Minister, tell Lala Ji secret, secret, secret.

The Minister insists on coming over here right away.

Dilip, meanwhile, has been covered on that very night of the Minister's

violation as well.

He even believes that the affair is still going on and the man himself is in

the house.

So you see, Axel Tharp, it was not a perfect murder at all.

It was a most imperfect murder. A matter of mistaken identity.

A muddle. Good.

But will you be able to arrest him? Of course, I must.

And not only him.

Yes, Axel Tharp.

A matter of diamonds.

Oh, so.

Krishna stole the butcher, did he?

Oh, you... No, no, no, no. You must not take the law into your own hands. You do

it. Right.

Now...

Mr.

Dilip Lal.

I'm sorry, I have to place you under arrest.

on charges of causing grievous hurt under Indian Penal Code Section 321.

Have you gone mad, Inspector?

You, Lala Hiralal, I am arresting on charges connected with the smuggling of

diamonds.

With that?

With that?

He's right. He's not doing that. With that?

What?

What's that?

How did this fall?

Ah.

I see.

Mr. Strange, don't you see?

Diamonds! You've got your raincoats where you go, Jay.

Kalahiralal, is that proof enough?

Proof? What proof?

What are you doing?

What are you doing to my Lala?

Madam, I'm placing your Lalaji behind bars.

You think it is so easy to put Lala Hiralal behind the bars?

I am not your everyday, everyday common man whom you can just arrest like a

criminal only.

Where are you taking my Lala? I don't let the law take its course. Come on,

Lalaji. Don't you worry. Don't you worry. I will be out before you can say

one, two, three.

Out of desperate.

He will come to know what it means to stand in the way of Lala Hiralal.

I will crush him like a fly only.

Like a fly.

You know,

you have to go through customs after you... Yeah, before I... So

you

better go early, that you'll get a good seat.

Oh, I got the seat, I'm ready.

Sweden.

I've never been abroad, you know.

Oh?

Then you have to come and visit me.

It's wonderful Stockholm.

Yes, but it's terribly expensive for me to come there.

At the moment I'm trying to save to buy a color TV.

Oh, by the way, I'm sorry. I almost forgot.

This is for you.

Mr.

Goaty.

You know, wherever you are in the world...

If you get into trouble or get a difficult case to solve, just let me

know and I'll come rushing to you.

Upside down.

Welcome to Bombay.

Final call to Inspector Goldsmith. You're a

damn fine police officer.