Original subtitles

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[RING]

[RING]

Hello. Is this Randy Bates?

Who wants to know?

This is Crazy Carl Cummings.

[HONK HONK]

KZTS...all-hits radio station at 98.9.

And, Randy, we've got a surprise for you.

Just about as big as Barry Manilow's beak.

Are you sitting down, boy?

Better yet, are you laying down?

Or are you on a waterbed, all comfy?

Are you horizontal, Randy boy?

No. I'm sitting up,

But I think I can handle it.

You like country music, rand?

Well, I used to like Roy Acuff.

Roy Acuff? Would you take Dolly Parton in a pinch?

Why, I may be crazy Carl and certifiable, but I would.

But you won it, guy,

You won the KZTS phone-home prize...

An evening with Dolly Parton.

Ha ha ha!

Now...

The evening begins with a preshow dinner.

For you and the lovely Miss Parton.

At the Hawaii Kai room of the Sheraton Barstow,

A backstage pass for you.

For Dolly's big show at the Barstow war memorial,

And then a little dessert at Massamino's cafe.

And who knows where the evening's gonna end, Randy boy?

Because Dolly, she's a powerful, powerful woman.

She's been on the road a long, long, long, long time.

All right!

What's your favorite radio station, Rand?

KZTS.

I can't hear you, boy.

KZTS!

Yee-ow!

[HONK HONK]

We'll pick you up at 6:00.

In a long black limousine, Batesy baby.

Yeah! All right! Whoo!

[LAUGHTER]

Dolly Parton, huh?

Well, you turned a hard-core felon.

Into a trembling teenager.

What kind of indictment.

Did this Guy skip out on?

2 counts of atrocious assault.

He found his wife in bed.

With a roadie from ZZ Top.

And took a tire iron to both of them.

You must be awful tired, Tom.

You had a hell of a drive just to get here.

It's my job...track 'em and snatch 'em.

I can't believe this guy's sitting there.

Expecting a limousine.

Mr. Bates?

Good evening, sir.

Congratulations.

Goddamn, I never won anything before.

Whoo!

Allow me, sir.

I am ready to party hard.

Whoo! Yeah!

Mr. Bates, my name is Tom Nowak.

And I've been empowered.

By the state of California.

To return you to Sacramento,

Where you're due to stand trial.

You son of a bitch!

You son of a bitch.

Hey, what's your favorite radio station, Randy, my boy?

K-suck, you dork!

[OFFICERS LAUGH]

Uh-uh. Once we catch them,

We never gloat.

Thank you, gents.

What kind of music do you like, Randy?

Well, I sure as hell don't want to hear.

No Roy Acuff. I'll tell you that.

Matter of fact, I'd like to hear something.

That sounds about as mean as I feel.

Why don't you just let me pick it for you, then.

A Crazy Carl Cummings special.

DOLLY PARTON: ♪ 2 doors down ♪

♪ they're laughing and drinking ♪

♪ and having a party ♪

♪ 2 doors down... ♪

John Capshaw from Sacramento.

Will try his power here on the bull rampage.

He's got a good start.

Rampage is tough one to ride.

Look like he might win some big money out of this rodeo.

Capshaw's gone down,

As the rodeo clowns move in here for the save.

Here's what our rodeo clowns are all about.

As this bull takes it out on the barrel this time.

Thanks, partner.

Nice ride, cowboy.

Hey, Tom, how you doing?

Oh, say, hey, my favorite bloodhound.

I just did John Capshaw,

And I could sure use the cash now.

If you got it.

You did Capshaw? How?

I'll tell you about it later.

You got the money?

We're just ordering. Sit down.

Sit down. You got to eat, for Christ's sake.

I'll have the chief Justice Warren Burger,

Well-done, extra fries.

One Warren. Burn it.

Have you got the money? I got to visit somebody.

[MOCKING] you got to visit somebody?

Isn't that funny?

I never thought of Tommy Nowak.

As the kind of Guy who pays a social call.

Have you got the money?

All right, all right.

Thanks.

Hey, Tom, tell us how you did Capshaw.

He tricked the poor bastard is what he did.

He snuck up.

When the dude was half unconscious.

Who are you?

I'm Capshaw's lawyer, ok?

And I'll tell you this, Nowak:

There's a pretty thin line.

Between what you do.

And what some outlaws do.

May be a thin line,

But, uh, it ain't invisible.

Hey, nice shot.

MAN IN TRUCK: Yeah! Oww!

[TAPS AT WINDOW]

Afternoon, Ms. McGuinn.

Afternoon, Mr. Barton.

Ms. McGuinn, when are you gonna take some sun?

You're about the palest thing.

In the whole damn camp.

One of these days, Mr. Barton.

Mr. Barton, remember when I gave you our rent money.

On the first of the month, right on time?

Remember? Ha ha ha ha!

It's a golden day in my book of memories,

First time since you and your husband.

Came here when you actually paid.

When it was due.

Can I have it back?

You're a really nice person, Mr. Barton.

Isn't he? Huh?

[RADIO PLAYS]

No, no, no.

Hi, honey.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER]

Hi, honey.

[BABY TALK]

What's that?

Leave that alone. Huh?

That's baby food money, Roy.

It's not for shotguns, not for wild turkey,

Not so you guys can go get wasted.

On some kind of horse tranquilizer.

[LAUGHTER]

You're with me on that, Roy, right?

You hear, boys?

This is baby food money...

$120.

Could you help me with the baby, Roy?

[MOCKING HER] oh, say, hey, Roy.

Roy.

I've finally got it knocked, baby.

Knocked?

Like that Amway franchise in the desert.

Or the oil field work in Alaska?

Or how about our famous chinchilla farm? Remember?

"Make cash fast, fast, fast,

By raising chinchillas for their pelts,".

Unless you leave the cage door open.

And they all run away.

Look, I know I screwed up a lot of things,

But honest, we're on dream street now.

Come on.

[MEN LAUGHING]

Shh!

How'd you make this money, Roy?

We didn't make it.

Some friends of ours did.

It's counterfeit?

State of the art, baby.

This is the big time, Lou.

Roy, Roy, listen to me.

You do 6 months for selling hot VCRs,

I'm still here when you get out, right?

Right? I waited for you.

But I didn't count on these prison buddies.

Please, for the baby's sake,

Get rid of these psychos.

They scare me.

Psychos? These guys?

Look, just let me keep the money here a few days.

I'll find a good hiding place for it.

I know I've screwed up some things in the past,

But this is idiot-proof.

Now, doesn't it seem just a little strange.

That this woman who has no previous record at all.

Is the only person being indicted.

For possession of this counterfeit money?

Your honor,

She was the only one home.

At the time of the raid,

And she refuses to tell us.

Anything about the crime.

Well, one could hardly blame the woman, Mr. Hastings,

When she's got a Folsom prison class reunion.

Going on right behind her.

[MAN LAUGHS]

If your honor pleases,

These gentlemen have come to post bond.

For the defendant.

Uh, your honor, we have reason to believe.

That the counterfeit money that we found.

In that trailer is just the tip of the iceberg.

There are other monies,

And there are other crimes involved,

And so we ask the court to set the bond.

With these facts in mind.

The court sets bail at $25,000.

We can cover that action, baby.

[WHISPERING]

Your honor, Mrs. McGuinn prefers to seek bail.

From a recognized bail bondsman.

What do you got, for me, buddy?

I told you. I told you.

I got little Walter Drucker, the schmuck who gave me.

This defective microwave for collateral.

He is sitting downtown at the golden bear motel,

Waiting to be plucked.

Like an apple on a tree.

Why don't you let one of the kids handle him?

There's no fun in the Walter Druckers of the world.

Oh, fun. Well...

Mr. Bring-'em-back-alive wants a big fun fix. Hey.

If I may quote the immortal Olivia Newton-John,

"have you never been mellow?"

♪ Have you never tried? ♪

Hey, I know something you can do.

You can fill out these mileage reports,

Justify all the money I'm giving you for gasoline.

Will you do that for me, huh?

Hey!

I asked you a question.

And I didn't give you an answer.

So, well, you can do Walter Drucker.

"Oh, hell, no. That's no fun."

Well, you can fill out mileage reports.

"Oh, hell, no. That's too much like a real job."

Hey, hey! You can go jump on Mary Ellen Chesbro.

You know, that beautiful court stenographer's.

Been mooning over you for 2 years.

"Oh, hell, no.

She might get her hooks in me."

Come on, Tommy! Do Walter Drucker.

For once in your life, be reasonable.

I tried that once,

And I didn't like it.

Ms. McGuinn.

Mr. Barton.

How's that baby?

I had to leave her with my sister over in Nevada.

I sure was sorry to hear about the arrest.

Are they gonna take the baby away?

I mean, after they find you guilty and all?

I don't know, Mr. Barton.

Sure is a fine machine.

Every boy's dream, huh? A pink Cadillac.

You know what Elvis said...

♪ You may go to college ♪

♪ You may go to school ♪

♪ You may drive a pink Cadillac ♪

♪ But don't you be nobody's fool ♪

♪ Oh, baby, baby ♪

Roy never drove this thing,

Never even had the top down,

And you ask me why I never get any sun on my face.

I, uh, don't mean to interfere.

In your marriage, Ms. McGuinn,

But it's dangerous.

Messing around with a man's vehicles.

You're right about that, Mr. Barton.

[ENGINE WON'T START]

[ENGINE STARTS]

Very, very right.

Come back here, damn it!

Hey!

Whoa!

Hey!

Oh, Roy.

Roy, what are you gonna do now?

♪ Any way the wind blows ♪

♪ Back when we were wild and ready ♪

♪ on the edge of a dust-bowl city ♪

♪ Cadillac rolling steady ♪

♪ Any way the wind blows ♪

♪ Life was an infinite number ♪

♪ Living one day to another ♪

♪ Looking for the endless Summer ♪

♪ Any way the wind blows ♪

♪ And we can't see around the bend ♪

♪ We never know where the road might end ♪

♪ We just go any way the wind blows ♪

Well, you can explain it to Alex.

He'll pass judgment.

Yeah, ok, but I'm worn out.

Don't you have any speed?

Diet pills?!

What the hell am I supposed to do.

With supermarket diet pills?

You can gobble the whole damn box as far as I'm concerned.

I'm not gonna waste good Crystal on you now.

Maybe if you find Lou ann.

Uhh.

Hell of an escape, Lou Ann.

You are about the palest thing.

Obviously a hardened criminal.

I can tell by the kewpie bow lips.

Who gives a shit about her lips?

She walked out on a bond of 25 Gs.

She's a fugitive.

Now, do you want her or not?

For me, it's all the same thing.

I want her. You got priors on her?

No. Her old man has all the priors,

But I didn't post bond for the old man.

Did they run together by any Chance?

Nah. Matter of fact, you might have.

Some competition from the hubby.

She's more scared of him.

Than she is of the law.

Why's that?

Uh, well, he's involved.

With that gang of ex-cons,

You know, the birthright.

Birthright?

Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, buddy.

Now I want you to understand me.

I want you to watch the rhythmatic movement.

Of my lips as I tell you

I'm not going to take this assignment.

Come on, Tommy. I need you.

Hey, Tom! Tom.

You know what I was saying to somebody just today,

I swear, I said, "Tommy Nowak,

He can track down a shadow in the middle of the night."

I happen to track fugitives, buddy.

I don't go round after whacked-out ex-cons.

That carry automatic weapons.

Yeah, but those are the guys from the birthright.

I'll bet you they're saying, "whoa."

"Let's waste this broad."

"Before she turns state's evidence."

I mean, it probably is the first time in your life.

That you could serve the cause of Justice.

Yeah.

What? What? I happen to love our legal system.

So long as it keeps you in diamonds and Sonys.

Hey, Tommy...Tom, you're saving her by catching her.

So, where are you gonna start looking?

Says here she's got a sister.

Who lives out near Reno.

Reno?

Might as well start there.

But, hey, now, watch the mileage,

Would you?

Stay clear of the birthright!

♪ Rollin' down the super slab ♪

♪ with her pink Cadillac ♪

♪ one foot on the dashboard ♪

♪ a bankroll in the back ♪

Hey!

♪ We got the radio up ♪

♪ we got the top rolled down ♪

♪ we got the cleanest El Dorado around ♪

♪ one pink ♪

♪ Cadillac ♪

♪ long and shiny ♪

♪ Cadillac ♪

♪ open rag top ♪

♪ Cadillac ♪

♪ Reno bound ♪

[CHILDREN SHRIEKING]

Whoo!

♪ 13-gallon Stetson hat ♪

♪ and alligator boots ♪

♪ headin' down to Reno ♪

♪ a pocketful to lose ♪

♪ we got the radio up ♪

♪ we got the top rolled down ♪

♪ we got the cleanest el dorado around ♪

[SHRIEKING]

Aw!

[HORN HONKS]

Oh, God.

God.

Aow!

Whoo-hoo!

[GUNSHOTS]

[GUNFIRE]

Speed and wine!

Give me some of that stuff.

Ha ha ha!

I want that stuff that killed hank Williams.

I just don't want quite that much.

Ha ha ha.

What are you yelling for, Roy?

Do you really think you've earned the right.

To have a good time?

No.

What's your problem, Roy?

No problem, Alex.

Tell me.

I don't, uh...

I don't like seeing...

I don't like seeing Lou Ann out there.

In silhouette city.

WOMAN: Yeah, you know it.

Ha ha ha.

I always know what you're thinking,

Don't I, Roy?

Yeah.

Go ahead. Take it down.

Go ahead.

Stop!

Turn around.

Do you trust me, Roy?

Yes, sir.

Go stand in your wife's picture.

Aah!

Aah!

Oh. Uh.

[MOCKING LAUGHTER]

Now, here's the point, Roy.

I need at least a dozen more.

Full automatic weapons.

To start building the arsenal of my dreams,

The arsenal of our dreams.

Yeah. Yeah.

But our weapons budget,

Our communications budget,

Just about our whole budget...

It's driving around in the desert...

With your wife.

Now, are you man enough.

To go get it back?

Yes, sir, I am.

Good.

Good. I thought so.

Waycross, why don't you.

Go help him out?

What should I do about...

The female?

Use your best judgment.

[LAUGHTER]

Look at this gorgeous girl.

Oh, look.

Oh, man, if this cash was genuine,

I'd have your Harvard education.

All paid for already, wouldn't I?

253,000.

Yep, that'd just about do it, Lou.

This sure does look real.

♪ Boola boola ♪

Lou Ann, why don't you cut loose just this one time,

Take some of this play money into Reno,

Give yourself a weekend on the town?

What are you talking about? I just got here.

♪ Give me a B-O-O-L-A ♪

♪ boola, give me a B-O-O-L-A ♪

Lou Ann, honey, you're a fugitive.

We figure that, well, just in case.

Anybody comes after you,

This might be their first stop.

It's best we scatter for a while.

Till this whole thing blows over.

Now, we'll take the baby over to my folks' house.

She'll be safe there.

You just go on into Reno, Lou.

Have yourself a good time.

And get yourself some sun while you're at it.

Bye, baby.

I love you. Yes. Yes.

Everything's gonna be all right.

Couple of days we'll see you again.

Bye-bye. Ok. Bye.

Bye, baby.

Bye-bye, my little pumpkin head.

Bye, honey. I love you.

Don't forget me.

[DING DING]

Say, you seen a blonde in a pink Cadillac?

Only in my dreams.

Fur coat.

Aren't you gonna treat yourself.

To some new clothes, dear?

We mustn't let our babies.

Get more glamorous than us.

Well, maybe just one dress.

Ring these up, will you?

I'm just gonna show this girl to ladies' wear.

And the shoe department.

Good. Yes. Right this way.

[HORNS HONKING]

♪ Well, we'll be rollin', rollin' dice ♪

♪ don't play the game if you can't pay the price ♪

♪ and, oh, oh, I'm feelin' lucky tonight ♪

♪ I'll take my chances with the rollin' dice ♪

♪ rollin' dice ♪

♪ rollin' dice ♪

♪ rollin' dice ♪

♪ rollin' dice ♪

♪ rollin' dice ♪

[SLOTS BELL RINGS]

[RING]

P.A.: Terence Jordan,

Would you please call 6651?

Terence Jordan, 6651.

Go 9! All right!

All right!

Come on, 9! Come on, baby!

Come to mommy!

All right! Come on! 9!

9, the winner.

Yeah! Whoo!

Ok, I'll go again.

I'll go. I'll go. Ok.

Give me the dice while I'm hot.

Play the line. Play the field.

Let's go again.

Come on. All right! All right!

Coming out. 8!

Aah!

Ok, give me the dice.

Your skin is so...

Hey, fella, leave the lady alone.

Yeah, leave me alone while I'm rolling the dice.

Give me those dice. Ok! Ok!

You can do it.

Ok! I'm gonna do it.

Whoa!

7 out.

Oh, no, I lost.

Your skin, it is so soft,

Like Velveeta.

You know, Velveeta.

Yeah.

You think my skin looks like processed cheese.

Next shooter coming out.

P.A.: Jason Engle, extension 2434.

Jason Engle, extension 2434.

Mrs. Lou Ann McGuinn? May I see you for a moment?

Right this way. Thank you.

Sit down over here, Mrs. McGuinn.

Somebody bought you some nice threads,

Didn't they?

Recognize this woman?

She looks familiar,

Like someone who never really caught a break,

Someone who might go crazy for a day.

I wouldn't judge her.

You're a cop?

Not exactly.

What do you mean not exactly? Who the hell are you?

I'm a skip tracer, Mrs. McGuinn.

I work for the bail bondsman.

Who put up your bond.

♪ I said, one for the money ♪

Why the hell didn't you just have your husband.

And some of his friends put up the money?

♪ 2 for the show ♪

Look, if you're taking me back,

Let's get going.

I can't take much more of this Elvis tribute.

♪ 3 to get ready, now go, cat, go ♪

♪ but don't you step on my blue suede shoes ♪

♪ you can do anything but lay off of my blue suede shoes ♪

If you don't mind me saying so,

You look dressed to kill tonight.

No. I'm dressed to torture. Killing's too good for him.

Could you hold that a second?

Aah! My purse!

My purse! My purse!

You creep! You creep! You took my purse!

Thanks.

I got a warrant for that woman.

Hey. Hey. Hey.

Here's fine.

Didn't think anyone.

Could run that fast in heels.

Tina turner taught me.

Look, mister, come on, I've got an 8-month-old baby.

I don't even want to hear about it.

I'm just a delivery boy.

Where are the handcuffs?

Aren't you gonna handcuff me?

Aren't you into that,

The whole bondage part of the job?

Lady, I don't even like starch.

In my collars.

You wouldn't take any bail money.

From the birthright, but you managed.

To spread a little of that counterfeit cash.

Around town.

It's not so complicated.

I had the whole thing figured out.

It was for my daughter.

I was gonna take a little bit of the make-believe money.

And win a lot of the real money.

At the tables.

It was dumb.

Yeah.

Sounds like one of my husband's great ideas.

Well, he sounds really swift.

How'd you get tied up with him.

In the first place?

Believe or not,

Roy was just about the coolest boy.

In San Bernardino.

About 40,000 Heinekens ago.

I thought I was marrying James Dean.

I ended up with an amphetamine junkie.

You don't know how many women I talk to.

Who tell the same story.

Look...

I've still got about $250,000.

Of very high quality counterfeit cash.

Forget it.

I wouldn't take it even if it was real.

Shut up and listen to me. That's not what I meant.

I didn't mean it that way.

You didn't, huh?

No. I didn't mean it that way.

I just thought that maybe if I gave that money.

Over to the cops, they might go easier on me.

We could go back and pick it up.

Helping you with your legal case.

Is absolutely none of my business.

My job is just to follow you, to find you,

And Federal Express you back home.

The 3 F's, huh?

I could use a little help.

This is so wrong.

Stand aside.

It makes a really good hiding place.

Kind of reminds you of going to.

The drive-in movie, doesn't it?

Hmm?

Parking in the woods,

Listening to the crickets.

Off in the distance,

The howling of the wolves.

Will you shut up?

The baying of the dogs.

You just have to play.

That little-girl-lost routine, don't you?

"I'm just a fugitive felon.

"That doesn't mean I'm not feminine.

"I mean, I just need a strong man to help me.

I guess that makes me a cosmo fugitive."

Hey, buddy. Look, I asked you for a favor.

You said ok.

You don't have to go making fun of me.

I'm through taking shit from men.

Well, that's one thing we have in common

'cause I'm through taking shit from men, too.

Well...

It's a little late to try to head out.

To Sacramento now.

Come on in.

Make yourself comfortable.

Those are gone.

Put your sack down. Take a load off.

Hello, buddy? Yeah. It's me in Reno.

No, I haven't found her yet.

I've got the scent, though.

I'll probably find her tomorrow.

Or the next day.

Will you forget about the goddamn mileage?

I'm tired of talking about mileage.

I'll call you in the morning no matter what happens.

Why'd you lie?

It just seemed easier than explaining things.

Would you care for something.

From our complimentary minibar?

Yeah. I forgot that's the way it is.

With these joints.

They get you half in the bag,

And you forget how they play the game.

Well, maybe one cuervo. Just a short one.

Ok.

We'll keep the drapes open, too,

So it won't get too dark in here.

What's the matter? You nervous?

Are your palms all sweaty?

Can you help me with my zipper?

[ZIP]

Thanks.

Oh!

Going somewhere?

I was just getting a glass of water.

I've got a little gas.

Feel good?

Thank you.

Look at these little jellies.

Look at these little jellies.

Look at these coffee things.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no.

It's mine.

That's for the Bill,

And, uh, that's for you.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm a big tipper.

Let me take a look.

At some of this play dough of yours.

You know, I haven't had no trouble.

Spending any of that money.

I can see why. It's real.

No, it can't be real.

It's real, Lou ann.

How do you know?

I just know.

Way I got it figured,

These guys must have come across.

Some high-grade counterfeit money.

They've been exchanging it bit by bit.

For the real stuff.

In fact, that money you had back at your trailer.

Was probably the last of the fake stuff.

No. This is grade-a U.S. Government green.

You mean...

I've been running around with...

A quarter of a million dollars.

In real money?

Yep.

Birthright money?

Yep.

[DROPS FORK]

Oh, God.

What's gonna happen to me?

What's gonna happen to my baby?

I've got a job to do.

We'd better hit the road.

America for Americans.

Yeah! Yeah!

Well, did you get the female?

Come on. Oh.

What about the money?

Oh, great. Oh.

Waycross, Roy,

You two have put me on a very low-budget level.

Now, I tried to have some pamphlets made up cheaply.

Waycross, why don't you come up here and take a look?

"Niggers..." blah, blah, blah...

"spicks, gooks taking our jobs..."

Blah, blah, blah, "conspiracy of the Jews..."

It's not very good, Alex.

Why don't you tell everyone why?

Well, first off, the printing stinks.

I mean, niggers is all blurred.

And down here you've got "Jews".

Running clear off into the margin.

You got that right.

You think that's funny, Waycross?

Well, I mean...

Imagine...

Trying to recruit new members.

With amateurish crap like this.

There's no way, Alex. It's just...

You are going to silhouette city, man.

All right!

Yeah! All right!

He's a warrior.

Good.

Good.

Now I feel some Unity.

Now I feel some power.

Not just a bunch of small-time car thieves,

Penny-ante codeine junkies,

Wife beaters,

Drifters without a clue in this world,

But warriors,

Ready to seize.

Everything that's been denied them.

Yeah. Right.

Waycross. Roy.

Why don't you go back to that sister's house.

And wait?

And I guarantee you within 5 days.

We will have all our money back,

And we will deal with the female.

Ha ha. Yeah.

You see that? That's God.

See that? God caused that flat tire

'cause he doesn't want you to take me back.

God's into blowing tires now?

Yes! Oh, look, I'm just asking for 2 more days.

So we can go to my sister's house,

And I can see my baby again.

Don't you know

I've already gone clinically insane?

Taking you back here to get the money,

Interfering with the case.

Ever since I met you,

I've just gone around breaking the law.

The law! What the hell is the law anyway?

The same people that make the law break the law every day.

I'm not talking about their law,

I'm talking about my law.

Fine!

Then follow your own law.

What do you mean, the trail went cold?

Tom, you're too good.

I'm having serious trouble with this.

Oh, don't...wait. Wait. Don't hang up.

All right. Don't hang up.

I mean, since you've driven all the way to Reno, Nevada,

You might as well do Jack bass.

Yeah. We got a tip.

That he's been hanging around Harrah's lately.

Yeah. Ok.

Hey, wait. Tom? Tom?

You know what cherchez la femme means, huh?

It's French for "dig up the broad already, ok?"

Well, I've always admired.

Your way with a continental phrase, buddy.

Now I've got a new case with a real mean dude.

What the hell am I gonna do with you?

Take me along.

Maybe I can help.

Pa-choo!

Pa-choo!

Pa-choo!

Pa-choo!

Pa-choo!

Oh, God. Give me a break.

Too much raw dude for you, huh, babe?

Well, I can dig it.

If my life were a movie,

There'd be a sign on it saying,

"caution, some scenes too intense.

For younger viewers."

Ha ha ha.

Oh, ok. Let's say this act of yours works.

Let's say you catch this bass character...

We catch this bass character, dollface.

Yeah, yeah. We catch him. What did he do anyhow?

He stabbed a dealer down in Vegas.

Imagined he was cheating him.

And went crazy with a 10-inch blade.

Where are we gonna try and catch him?

I hear he's been hanging around Harrah's the last few nights.

And, uh,

What are you gonna do when you catch him?

Well, I'm gonna apprehend him,

Turn him over to the local authorities.

Without getting to know anything about him.

Nothing about his personal life.

I don't want to know about his brother,

I don't want to know about his mother, his sister.

I don't want to know about the family pets...

The pet parakeet, the dog, the cat.

I don't want to know diddly shit.

Wait for my signal.

And remember your line.

"Hello, Jack. I'm miss Reno casino."

[KISS]

"Hello, Jack. I'm miss Reno casino."

[KISS]

PROMOTER: Big jackpot. Big payoff.

More winners more often.

Come on in and try your luck.

This is where you wanna be. If you feel lucky,

This is where you wanna play.

Because the action never stops. Come on in, folks.

Come on in, folks. Try your luck at this one game.

It's really terrific. We got lots of winners.

This is where you want to be.

Big jackpots.

Big payoffs.

More winners.

Come on in and try your luck.

This is where you wanna be. If you feel lucky,

This is where you want to play.

Because the action never stops. Come on in.

[WHISTLES]

[KNOCKS ON CAR]

What do you think?

Looks like a penis, only smaller.

More winners, more often.

Step right up. Come on in, folks.

If you're feeling lucky, this is the place you wanna be.

Because the action never stops. If you're feeling hungry,

Step right up, come on in and try one of our restaurants.

This is it, folks. This is the place you wanna be.

Big payoffs!

Here he is, Mr. Hasselback.

Our one millionth customer.

Hey, and what a fine specimen.

Of a man he is, too.

Yes, Mr. Lucky one million.

Sorry we don't have a brass band for you, mister...

Bass. Jack bass.

Jack bass. No brass for Mr. Bass.

You'll pardon the pun, sir.

May I call you Jack?

You can just call me Darryl Hasselback.

I happen to be the vice president in charge.

Of promotion for this here casino.

Are you familiar.

With our operation here, Jack?

Yeah. Sure. Like Vic Damone and Alan King.

Yeah. Like vic. Yeah.

Cool, man.

Like 143 gaming tables and 4 showrooms.

This is a deluxe hotel,

And we got a fantastic gift for you.

Yeah? What?

Well, would you believe.

An all-expense paid weekend on me, Jack,

And $5,000 worth of chips?

Ladies and gentlemen,

You've gotta move back here and let Mr. Bass get past.

Move back, folks.

Can't you see the detective's trying to make an arr...

Hey!

Oh!

Hey!

Hey, slow down!

Yee-haw! Yeah!

Oh!

Uhh!

Get him!

I'll kill you, you son of a...

Get your hand...

[ALARM BELLS RING]

Mr. Bass...

My name is Tom Nowak, and I've been authorized.

To turn you over to the local authorities.

You will be extradited to...

[SIREN APPROACHES]

Yeah!

It's a contact sport!

Ha ha ha!

What the hell happened to you?

You were supposed to show up and...

Play miss Reno casino and give him a kiss.

Eh, I didn't want to kiss him.

Oh, come on, we both know what I was really supposed to do,

I was supposed to show you once and for all.

If I'd run away or not.

You showed me. You ran.

I thought about it, yeah,

But when I saw you chasing him, I came back.

We did Jack bass!

We're partners.

Partners?

I don't even have a goddamn car anymore.

I don't have any partners.

Varoom.

Didn't anyone ever tell you.

You shouldn't mess with a man's vehicles?

Yeah. I think I heard that someplace before.

Want the goddamn car or not?

Yeah, I want it, for 2 days only.

One day to see your kid,

And the other day.

To get you to Sacramento.

Thanks.

Thanks. You won't regret it.

I wonder.

ROY: I may be thick, man, but this sucks,

Standing here waiting.

Well, Roy, you are thick,

Just about as thick as a Texas steak.

Yeah, baby.

Ooh. [BABY TALK]

[BANGING ON DOOR]

Oh, my God. It's Roy.

It's Roy with some other guy.

What the hell did I do with that goddamn .38?

[KNOCK KNOCK]

Fella here kinda misses his wife.

Where is she, Jeff?

You'd better tell us right now.

I swear, Roy, we haven't seen her.

Come on now, Jeff.

You're my brother-in-law.

Hey!

[BABY CRYING]

Family members should always be truthful with each other.

He is telling you the truth!

Give me Royann.

Give me my own flesh and blood.

[BABY WAILING]

It's ok, honey. It's ok.

Roy, this kid's our ace in the hole.

Mothers always come back for their young.

It's just a matter of time.

Wouldn't you say so, dear?

I don't know.

It could be a real long time.

We'll wait. I got plenty of time.

♪ When the sun... ♪

So, uh...

So, so why did the first marriage break up?

First marriage was a joke.

I was never around.

This line of work, you're always out on the road.

The second marriage...

I didn't want to touch that one.

I did get engaged to a girl, though,

About 3 years ago.

Really?

Yeah.

So?

So what happened?

Well, right after we got engaged,

She won the title of Miss Aamco Transmission.

Of Turlock, California.

Naturally, she'd need a Guy.

Who could stand beside her.

When she performed all her queenly duties,

Like cutting the ribbon at a new muffler shop,

Something like that.

We both knew I wasn't that guy.

So you never really settled down?

Nah. I don't think I'm really...

No, no. Let me guess.

You're not really the type.

You're an American wildcat.

Your kind can't breed in captivity.

The road is your only home.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, I guess the road.

Can get a little old now and then.

Isn't that a little dangerous,

Putting that cocaine on that knife?

Cocaine?

Cocaine's for queers with gold credit cards.

This here is amphetamine.

Only way to snort it is off a hunting knife.

You want some?

ROY: Oh, cute little girl,

Isn't she?

[BABY SQUEALS]

Yeah. She's her dad-um's Precious, Precious.

[CRYING] ah...

Ah, I'm not much for rug rats myself.

Just accidents waiting to happen.

Of course this one's worth its weight in gold,

Isn't it? Yeah.

This one's gonna bring home mama.

Mama and all that Precious money.

Roy, what are you gonna do to Lou Ann?

Uh, well, we're gonna get the money and the car back,

Then we're just gonna put the fear of God into her.

Fear of God?

What good's the fear of God these days?

She took our hard-earned money.

She can nail us.

I don't think the fear of God's nearly good enough.

ED MCMAHON: A child of 4 could see.

These envelopes are hermetically sealed.

They've been kept in a mayonnaise jar.

In Funk & Wagnalls sports since noon today. No one...

If you could just sit and talk to Alex.

For 10 minutes, you'd understand.

Why you have to live in this crummy little house,

How you got cheated out of your birthright,

And what you can do to get back what's yours.

Hey, this house is just fine with me.

And I know what you stand for.

My old man fought against it in world war ii.

Maybe I ought to pop you right now.

My Cadillac!

She's here.

You recognize this car here?

Yeah. It's Jeff and Dinah's.

They're home.

Dinah!

[KNOCK KNOCK]

Hi.

Hi.

Dinah, this is my friend, Tom Nowak.

Hi, Tom.

Howdy.

Pleased to meet you.

Well, why don't you both come in?

Yeah.

Where's my baby?

Hi, sis, Tom.

Look who's here, Royann. Look.

[BABY TALK] hi, honey.

Why don't you show your mama.

How you've been walking?

Oh, you've been walking?

Let's show Tom you can walk.

You're walking. Show Tom.

Show him.

Look at me walking.

Show Tom, yes.

Surprise.

Roy, what's going on?

Over there.

Maybe you better tell me what's going on.

Who's the new bodyguard?

He was sent to catch me.

Oh, yeah, sure. You look real caught.

By the bail bondsman, Roy.

Take your filthy hands off my child!

They say you can't put a value on human life.

That is such absolute bullshit.

I could put a value on this little rug rat's life...253,000.

Let's have it.

And the keys to my Cadillac, too.

Here you go.

You had the nerve to drive my vehicle?

Why, I ought to...

The transmission's half shot, and it pulls to the right...

Fuck that Cadillac! Where's the money?

It's right in the back, where you left it.

Go check it out, Roy.

If it's there, honk.

Wait for me outside, you understand?

Waycross...

Wait outside!

We got some unfinished business with this bitch.

[HORN HONKS]

You gonna try to be a hero?

Hey, I'm just a skip tracer.

This isn't my fight.

Then shut up and sit.

JOHNNY CARSON: What did Oral Roberts say.

After he raised the 8 million bucks?

[AUDIENCE LAUGHS AND CHEERS]

[BABY CRIES]

Get the kid! Get the kid!

No, Roy! Not like that, Roy.

Roy, give me the baby!

Roy, no!

Don't take the baby!

[GUNSHOT] aah! Roy!

Roy, stop!

Come back!

Roy!

Roy, come back!

Come back with the baby!

Roy! Roy!

Roy!

Roy!

Come back, Roy!

Roy!

[BABY CRIES]

That guy was good.

I'll give him that.

"Not my fight." [COUGHING]

You know what, darlin'?

He lied.

[BABY CRIES]

The night she was born...

I remember lying on the table.

In the delivery room...

Worrying...

Worrying about Roy,

Worrying about money,

Worrying about this baby.

She seemed to have 2 strikes against her.

Before she was even born.

And then all of a sudden,

I just floated up.

To the ceiling of the delivery room.

I kind of hovered there...

Looking down at myself,

And I saw how pale.

And sweaty and worried I was,

And I thought...

"oh, it's a shame

"she has to be so scared all her life.

"Doesn't she know.

Everything is gonna be all right?"

'Cause the real me...

Was floating above it all...

And then the ceiling of the delivery room.

Just opened up,

And I just kept rising up into the air.

Until it felt like all the stars.

Were passing right through my body...

And then the baby came out.

We're gonna get your baby back.

I love you.

Drive carefully.

Tom.

Bye.

All right,

You want to be partners?

We're gonna be partners.

Open the glove box.

Now, I'm gonna give you.

Your first lesson in skip tracing...

A subtle, almost diabolically clever way.

Of obtaining documents.

From locked places.

That is clever.

Yep.

What does he have in here?

Oh, Roy always had.

A couple of those phony I.D.S hanging around.

Looks pretty good, doesn't it?

Better than pretty good.

This could fool a trooper.

In California or Nevada.

This is a Ricky Z original.

We're headed west.

Ok.

Who's Ricky Z?

Hey! All right!

Tommy Nowak!

How's the life force treating you today, pal?

All right. All right.

Come on in! Hey, hi.

Oh, hi.

Hey, wanted to know if you remembered.

Making this license for a Roy Hollyfield?

Oh, boy, do I!

I had to go into a trance on that one.

It's not funny, either. It's the truth, you know.

Dude came in here. He's all shaky.

His partners were all hostile.

So I just wanted to give him a name.

That would chill him out.

So I went into my meditation routine.

I came up with this name...

Roy Hollyfield.

Roy Hollyfield!

Dude, you never introduced me to your old lady yet.

Uh, you're the expert on make-believe.

You tell me.

Oh, I'd say...

I'd say Gwendolyn...

Or maybe Samantha, yeah.

But, you know, the way the world runs,

Your name's probably Bonnie Sue.

Close. Lou ann.

Well, see,

Some people see names the way they are.

I see names the way they should be.

Now this Hollyfield license.

And the guys he came in with?

Yeah, yeah. Just a minute here.

Let me just create a whole new identity for you.

Well, I am on the lam.

Oh, it's cool, you know.

His running buddies, can you tell me.

About his running buddies?

Oh, yeah, they were those dudes.

From birthright.

Yeah, they're clients of mine.

Hey, Ricky, how could you?

Those guys are psycho.

Oh, chill out, man.

They're just a bunch of screw-ups who play with guns.

We both know there's nothing more dangerous.

Than a screw-up with a .44.

Now, concentrate, will you?

Whereabouts was their camp?

Well, give me a second. I'll concentrate for you.

Here. Now, I want you to sign your name...

Sign Gwendolyn De la Croix 3 times.

In your most relaxed handwriting.

Now listen, Tommy,

I may be out there, you know,

But I'm not an idiot.

Don't ask me to rat on the birthright.

She has an 8-month-old baby that's being held.

By speed freaks with automatic weapons.

Oh, wow, man!

Oh, no! That's heavy!

God, don't lay that on me, man!

You know, I think I know where they are.

I think they're in the sierras.

But, you know, when they came in here,

They were all weirded out.

Man, they were wired.

They're talking like auctioneers.

One of them started calling me a hippie.

Can you dig it?

Trying to mess with my mind,

But I just let 'em talk,

'cause my mind is unmessable.

Absolutely.

Yeah. All right.

So then they said.

There was a hippie commune.

Down on the other side of their camp over in...

Oh...God, Mariposa, I think.

Then he said that on the day of the great uprising,

He, personally, was gonna make sure.

That all the hippies on the farm were carved up.

All right!

What? What are you saying, man?

That it's all right to kill hippies?

No. I'm just saying you did a good job.

You kept your eyes and your ears opened.

Oh, well, yeah. You know...

You act as weird as me, and people open up on you.

Follow me?

Yeah.

We'll catch up to you later.

Ok!

All right! Let's look at this!

Now, listen.

So the next time I see you,

I'll have this Gwendolyn De la Croix.

Totally fleshed out.

Great. Thanks.

Tommy! That name suits you!

Tommy Nowak!

How come you didn't turn me in to the cops.

All these years?

I don't know.

People want to disappear.

Or reappear somewhere else,

Change their identity.

It's all part of the game.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah! Wow!

All right!

We'd better go.

Yeah, that's it!

Ok. Hey, see you later.

Zzzrroo!

[THUNDER]

Rest assured...

He will be avenged.

It's beyond money now.

It's beyond that female.

It's a question...

Of paying that lawman back.

Amen. Amen.

Roy.

Amen.

Roy, I want you to think.

Now, was there anything left.

In that pink Cadillac.

That a smart man might have used as a clue?

Uh...

No, sir. Nothing.

Except...

♪ well, I've been dreamin' ♪

♪ and I've been schemin' ♪

♪ just to see you ♪

♪ 'cause you're my one desire ♪

♪ you're the reason ♪

♪ my arms are open ♪

♪ your sweet emotion ♪

♪ you set my heart on fire ♪

♪ I wanna drive all night ♪

♪ until the morning light ♪

♪ I wanna roll till dawn ♪

♪ I got the windows down ♪

♪ I got the radio on ♪

♪ I wanna drive all night... ♪

You got a place we can park this car that's out of sight?

Are you staying?

Fantastic!

Uh, yeah, sure.

I'll take care of the car for you, and...

I'm gonna put you in the Hawaiian luau room.

Heh heh heh!

Aloha.

It's eerie how much this place.

Looks like Hawaii, isn't it?

[HUMS HAWAIIAN WAR CHANT]

Yep. Looks like we just walked in.

Off the beach at Waikiki.

Well, maybe we better pull up a palm tree.

And go to sleep, hmm?

[RAUCOUS LAUGHTER] all right, now,

You all be cool!

Just get in and get out.

Get through it, ok?

You hear what I'm saying? Shh!

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪

Let's kick some butt.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

Ricky Z, open up! Yo!

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

Ricky Z!

Come on, boy!

Ricky Z, you mangy hippie!

We want to talk to you!

Ooh!

We're looking for a lawman and his old lady.

Have you seen them?

No! No, man.

I've been fasting for 4 days, man!

My eyes closed and everything.

I haven't seen anybody, man!

Hey! Hey, no!

[GLASS SHATTERS] hey!

What the...

Ooh! Unh!

Aah!

Ha ha ha!

Don't act slick, Ricky Z.

It don't suit you, man.

No!

[CHOKING]

Hey, come on, Billy.

They probably didn't even come here.

Well, say hey, Roy.

Check that shit out, man, huh?

[COUGHING]

You lied.

They were here.

What did you tell them about us?

I...I told them that you live up in the sierras, man.

Maybe some hippie commune. I don't know, man!

Hey, I'm too scared to lie.

Oh, too scared? You stinking hippie!

Where?

When did they leave, Ricky?

Wa...

Huh?

I don't know. Quarter after 4:00.

5:27.

I don't know, man.

Lying son of a bitch!

Ha ha ha!

Let's trash it.

Yes.

Aah!

Yeah!

Aow!

Yeah!

Knock it down!

Yes!

Yeah!

All right! Let's move it!

Ha ha ha!

Hey! Hey!

I love it! I love it!

Oh! Ooh!

Come on! Give me a light here.

Come on! Let's get out.

Move it! Move it!

[ALL LAUGH]

Oh...

Oh...

Ah!

Having a barbecue!

Ha ha ha!

Burn, baby!

I am the God of hellfire!

Man, this is... A major bummer!

[COUGHING]

We better go.

Oh...

Oh, what a shame.

When we find your baby,

Where you gonna go then?

Hmm?

I don't know.

Someplace where you can track me down.

Oh, you up already?

I was just gonna bring you some bananas.

For your morning luau.

Well, thanks. We'll take a rain check.

My name is Tom Nowak,

And I'm a court-appointed officer.

From the state of California.

We're looking for this man here.

That sounds like sort of a nerve-racking job.

Sure hope I can help you out.

Um...Yes, sir. [CLEARS THROAT]

This man stayed in my motel.

Not more than 3 or 4 weeks ago.

He did. Yeah.

He said he was going on a fishing trip.

I guess he came up here.

To make contact with the birthright.

Yes, indeedy.

This is Mr. Dickhead.

This is Mr. John a. Dickhead.

Not a bad self-description.

Uh, fellow named John a. Dickhead stays here,

And you didn't think maybe that might be an alias?

Well, now, you know,

That's the first thing that occurred to me.

But then I got to figuring, you know,

Must be a million or so fake names.

A man could call himself.

Why call yourself John a. Dickhead.

Unless you had to?

Oh, got a good point there.

What do you remember about this dickhead?

Uh, not a whole lot. I tend to stick.

To my knitting, so to speak.

Thanks. Where's our car?

Uh, it's in the coop.

In the coop?

Jiminy crickets!

Here's one desk clerk that didn't have.

His thinking cap on last night.

Ah, that's sacrilege.

No. Now it's really Roy's car.

I'm really sorry, Mr. Nowak.

I'll tell you what, though.

There's a car wash down the road a piece.

Whatever it is,

I'll take it off your Bill.

Didn't anyone ever tell those chickens.

You shouldn't mess with a man's vehicles?

What a mess!

♪ Goin' down highway 95 ♪

Oh, here we go!

You got this one, coach!

Your turn, buddy.

Oh, God!

Aaghh!

Over here.

Alone at last.

Come on out, tracer!

It's over!

Come on out, boy, right now!

Wait!

Stop them!

Get the truck!

Come on! Get in!

Let's go!

Come on, Darrell.

Put the pedal to the metal, man!

Come on! Pass that son of a bitch!

[HONKING]

Darrell! Darrell, watch out!

Aah!

Aah!

Ah!

Ah, son of a bitch!

Damn it!

At least we got rid of the chicken shit.

Come on, dial it.

Holy Toledo. Dial what?

Dial the number,

The same number you called this morning.

When you set us up.

The number of the birthright camp.

Yeah?

Hello, Alex? Tom Nowak.

How you doing?

I'm ok, tracer. I'm fine.

I'm kind of surprised to hear from you, though.

I thought they'd be scraping you.

Off the car upholstery by now.

Why don't we stop all the foolishness.

And start talking about a trade, huh?

One female Infant for all our money, even up?

Yeah.

That sounds like a good deal. Even up.

Ok. 2:00 sharp.

Corner of Nelson and main street.

Park the Cadillac by the post office.

Put the money in the trash can.

By the wooden Indian on the northwest corner.

The kid will be on the southeast.

[BABY CRYING]

Oh, no!

[BABY CRYING]

Oh!

It's not my baby.

[CAR ENGINES REVVING]

[HONK HONK]

You bastards!

[HONK]

You bastards!

Where's my baby?

You bastards!

You bastards!

Yahoo!

Come down!

Yahoo!

Yeah!

The Cadillac. All right! My vehicle.

Hey, we're slicker.

Than snot on a doorknob, Alex.

Just the way you showed it on that chalkboard.

With them Xs and Os.

You see what happens when you act like warriors?

Yeah! Yeah!

When you band together as one?

[GROUP LAUGHS AND AGREES]

Oh, he's good.

There's no question about that.

He's so good he's got to die.

Soon.

I'm really sorry about what happened.

It's just that they got us so damn scared.

It's all right.

Just tell me where the camp is.

I don't know.

Really, I don't.

But, um, I do know.

That they go down to the pioneer bar.

Over in Coulterville to have cocktails of an evening.

Cocktails?

Where's the key to that truck?

It's in it.

Come on.

You all right?

I'm fine.

I have Faith in you.

You do?

Mm-hmm.

Why?

Well,

You're crazier than they are...

But you're good crazy.

And...

You could be one of them if you wanted to...

But they could never be one of you.

Do you know what I mean?

Does that make any sense?

It does give me an idea.

What?

What are you doing?

You're not gonna go up there.

You're not going to join them.

You're not going to their camp.

No. I'm not much of a joiner.

But I do think I ought to go to Coulterville...

For cocktails.

LOU ANN: What if they recognize you?

Well, the only one who got a clear look at me.

Was Roy and Waycross.

I have a hunch that Waycross don't get around much anymore.

If Roy's in there and he gets a look at me,

I'll just have to improvise.

If I'm not out by 1:00,

You don't wait for me.

You take off. Hear me?

Sure.

Come on, pearl. Stop being this way.

Pearl, come on. Just give me a little kiss.

♪ It's a fragile balance ♪

♪ that lets us swing through space ♪

♪ so everybody's ♪

♪ got their job to do ♪

♪ and, girl, I guess the job I've got ♪

♪ is cryin' over you... ♪

What'll it be?

[SURLY VOICE] a shot of four roses and a draft.

What's a good old boy have to do.

To get in a little trouble around here?

Calling my mother a drunken slut.

Would do real well for openers.

Your mother...

Is far too nice a lady for that. Heh heh heh.

[SPITS]

Get me a vodka, too, will ya?

I'm gonna have a drink of everything.

You got here at the bar.

♪ It seems my life is through... ♪

What'll it be this time, buddy?

I'll tell you what it's gonna be.

It's gonna be a whole new world.

Where a white man can stand tall for a change.

Right. Right. Spare me the rap.

I've heard it all from the dudes in the back.

♪ And maybe my heart won't hurt me so ♪

♪ there's a tear in my beer ♪

♪ 'cause I'm cryin' for you, dear... ♪

How you all doin'?

Bartender said there's some real men out here.

Ha ha!

Yeah? Are you gonna shoot pool.

Or talk a lot of dogshit?

[SPITS] better than that.

I'm gonna shoot dogshit and talk a whole lot of pool.

[ALL LAUGH]

Excuse me, sir.

Say, homeboy...

I know you.

Of course you do.

I'm Will Van Slyke, and you're Billy Dunston.

You're probably the biggest celebrity.

To ever hit Folsom in 1982.

Folsom.

Yeah.

Sure.

What did they get you for?

Well, they got me for the 3 Fs, man...

Assault with intent,

B and e,

And having carnal knowledge with a motor vehicle.

That little corvette was just begging for it.

We need this dude in our world, man.

Read my boy's bicep.

That's a big one.

"Death before dishonor."

Words we live by.

Yeah.

Carved it in with a piece of copper wire myself.

No.

But there's some dude around here who's dishonored us.

Dishonored us.

Who might that be?

Skip tracer, dude.

He ripped off our leader... Killed our baddest man.

Oh, man, he's got to go down.

An eye for an eye.

No, man. A head for an eye.

Head for an eye. That's right.

Ha ha ha!

[GULP]

Ha ha! A head for an eye.

Hoo!

[LAUGHS]

Oh, no, thanks, man. I'm high on life.

Now wait a second.

The way I see this,

You had this vehicle down to the car wash,

And you still couldn't put the man down, huh?

Hey, man, maybe we're talking too much.

Oh, relax, man. He's one of us.

Why don't you let him deal with that slimy Nowak dude?

We did everything possible.

You saying we didn't?

Oh, I'm not saying that.

Just you'd be a lot more convincing.

If you weren't pissing on your finger, man.

[LAUGHING]

Come on, let's get the hell out of here.

We'll talk more tomorrow up at the camp.

So?

So I'm headed up there tomorrow.

Good.

I'm coming with you.

We'll talk about that later.

I want you to give me one of your guns.

Look, I've got a firm policy on gun control.

If there's a gun around,

I want to be the person controlling it.

Well, change your policy.

Look, Lou Ann,

I've already broken every rule in the book,

And I've written a new book to break new rules.

Now, just how far do you want me to go?

All the way.

Know how to use one of these?

Uh-huh. Roy taught me.

He thought it would bring us closer.

If we could go shooting together.

Oh, no.

I can't seem to get away from this car.

All right, hold it right there.

Hello, Roy.

We're here for the baby.

Ha!

What's funny, Roy?

Me. I get busted all the way down to guard duty,

And I screw that up.

Just once in my life, I'd like to get something right.

Why don't you get it right this time?

Help us get the kid back.

What's your plan?

Well, plan "a" is I go into the camp as Will Van Slyke.

I'll keep Alex and the rest of 'em diverted.

Then Lou Ann will get the baby and take off.

What's plan "b"?

Plan "b" is all hell breaks loose.

Get in the back.

Well, who's gonna drive?

Be my guest.

I got the visitor here.

Well, I can see that.

But who in the hell gave you permission.

To leave your damn post?

Hey there, Billy.

Now you just stay out of this, will.

Ease up on the man.

Wait a second.

I don't know you from Folsom.

I know you from...

The car wash.

Nice of you to refresh his memory.

[GUNFIRE]

Royann's in the last cabin,

The other side of the camp.

[MEN TALKING]

[GUNFIRE]

Come over here.

Wait there.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Wait there.

[GUNFIRE]

[GUNFIRE]

Hey, yo, Darrell, how...

Hey!

Will Van Slyke!

Hey, how you doing, bud?

Hey, Darrell, how are you, pal?

Hey, man, you were funnier than hell last night.

We could use a few more laughs around here.

Yeah, a few laughs.

Say, I wanted to ask you, I was just thinking,

If we get rid of all the blacks and all the Jews,

Then what are we gonna do for entertainers, comedians,

Things like that?

We'll still have David Letterman.

Yeah, we'll still have David Letterman.

[FLOOR CREAKS]

Hey!

[GUNFIRE]

DUNSTON: Code red. Code red!

Code red!

That scumbag tracker and the female are here, Alex!

So much for plan "a."

Hurry, over this way.

Take them up here.

Go! Go! Go!

Get the weapons! Move it!

Come on! Move!

Cover flank!

Come on, you guys. Let's take 'em.

You all right?

Keep down!

Move ahead!

Move! Move!

Get around this side over here!

Go!

Go!

Move!

I don't see him!

[GASPS]

[BABY CRIES]

Look, when I fire the first shot,

I want you to take off and just keep on going.

No.

Don't worry about me. I'll be all right.

You two get going.

Ok, tracker,

Time to come out.

Aah! I'm hit! I'm hit!

Go!

Watch him. Get him!

Move it!

Ah!

I got her!

I got the woman!

Ok, tracer,

Drop your weapon.

Right now, or she goes down.

[BABY CRYING]

Good.

Come on out...

Nicely.

Mess up the dude's face, Alex.

Mess it up good.

Step away, Billy d.

You'll have your fun in a minute.

Now, how did you manage.

To sneak past Roy, by the way?

People have been sneaking past Roy most of his life.

You know that.

None of this had to happen, you know.

If you'd just stayed out of this.

See, if I go back to prison,

I die there.

And you two can put me back there.

And slam the door forever.

So...You tell me:

What choice do I have?

Take him out in the woods...

Now, if these people are gonna stand here.

Pointing these guns like this,

I'm gonna have to ask you,

Are you an organ donor, Alex?

Nobody shoots.

All right, here's the program...

We all walk back to the Cadillac.

We all leave. We all live.

I let Alex go a couple Miles down the road.

How's that sound to you?

Hold your fire.

I'm going down the hill with these people.

I thought you'd understand.

Move! Move! More ammo!

They'll never let you out of here alive.

They're not that stupid.

I disagree.

You ought to kill me in cold blood.

Get in the car.

You won't be safe until I'm dead.

Why don't you pull that trigger? I would.

[GUNFIRE]

Ohh!

Aah!

Aah!

Come on! They're going down the road!

Go! Come on!

Come on! We gotta get him.

Jump in.

Aah!

Catch him! Catch him!

Pull right!

Ohh!

Aah!

[CRASH]

How you feeling, babe?

I feel like I just had this baby.

So, um...

Now what are we gonna do?

Well, right now, you and I are both outlaws.

So unless we want to go Stone criminal...

And that means doing bank jobs or blackmail.

Or fencing stolen oriental treasure...

I think the best thing we can do.

Is go back to see the D.A. In Sacramento,

Run this by him,

And see if we can work it out together.

You think we can work it out?

I hope so.

But if they won't listen to us.

And they make us run,

Then we'll just run a hell of a lot faster.

Than they will.

[COOS]

Yeah!

Well, I hope this thing gets cleared up quickly.

Because I can't wait to open.

Our new skip tracer agency...

McGuinn and Nowak.

What? Now, wait just a minute.

All right. Nowak and McGuinn.

Oh, we could do TV commercials.

Yeah. You in that golden blazer of yours.

And me in that hot red dress.

Might not be too bad.

Yeah.

Guess it could be Nowak and McGuinn limited.

"Let us be your fugitive people."

"Let us be your fugitive people."

You think they'll make me give back the dress?

Sweetheart, if there's any Justice on this planet,

They'll never make you give back that red dress.

[KISS]