All language subtitles for MASH.S01E23.Cease-Fire.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.H.264-AJP69_track3_[eng]

Give me the medicinebomb here.

HAWKEYE: Gonna...

Forget the suction.
Get me some, uh...

-50-30?
-Yeah.

Anybody knowwhat day this is?

Thursday.

We've been here
since Tuesday.

Three hours' sleep
in three days.

What's the difference?
It keeps us off the street.

Gimme a clamp.
Come on.

Quit beefing, will you?

We've still got
a line of casualties

stretching around the block.Give me a sponge.

Maybe we should get
an unlisted number, huh?

HENRY: Clamp. Get a clamp.

All right, okay. Unhook himand get him outta here.

Yes, Doctor.

One more survivor, unlessthey get him next time.

What are these forms for?

These are forms
to get the forms

that enable us to order
more forms, sir.

Right.

Here you go, Henry.

Wait a minute, Henry.You don't have to sign that.

That's the phone number

of the Dai-Ichi Hotel
in Tokyo.

Which is where
we're off to.

Till you need us.

Room 309.

-Real beds.
-Room service!

-Hot and cold running maids.-Hey-hey!

Who said you could go?

Henry, the war's been
sending us casualties

on a conveyor belt.

Listen, Henry, if wedon't get some rest,

we're gonna startscrewing up surgically.

Well, have a good time.

Call us if you need us.

Yeah, but don't need us.

Radar, two of
your best passes.

4077th MASH,Colonel Blake's office.

Did you hear a bell?

His head's in
another time zone.

Just be sure that
your post-op patients

are all okay
before you take off.

-Oh, yes.-Henry, everything is okay.

Yes, sir.Just a minute. Sir?

Radar, I don't wannatalk to anybody.

Just tell 'em I'm beatright down to my socks.

Uh, General Clayton,
Colonel Blake says

he's really beat
right down to his socks.

Morning, General.

Henry Blake here.

Henry, are you
sitting down?

No, sir.

Maybe you'd better.

Yes, sir.

He's giving youcallisthenics over the phone?

Oh, pipe down.

Henry, it won't be official

for a couple of hours yet,

but a ceasefire

has been arranged.

I say again:

a ceasefire.

A ceasefire?

-What?
-Ceasefire?

Does that mean
we can go home?

A ceasefire--
General, are you sure?

Well, I've just been onthe phone with CENCOMPAC.

Is that good enough for ya?

He got it
from CENCOMPAC.

-CENCOM--
-I don't care if hegot it from nincompoop!

The shooting's over!

Ha-ha!

General Clayton, this isBenjamin Franklin Pierce.

I realize you're a general
and I'm just a captain,

but I wanna have
your baby.

I mean it--

I want your baby!
I'll kiss all your stars!

Ha ha! Yay!

Sir--

Listen, listen,I'll be up there tonight

for a final drink

with my favorite
MASH outfit.

Oh, uh, that'sterrific, General.

Just terrific.Yes, sir. What's that?

Yes, sir.I'll tell Major Houlihan

that you look forwardto seeing her.

If she doesn't want you,
there's always me!

No, just, uh-- Not--

Nothing, General, nothing.

Uh, okay, yes, sir.We'll see you tonight.

And, uh, sir,thanks for the great news.

Great news.

Well, how about that!

I don't know.

I'm gonna get drunk
for a week,

sober up,
get back in shape,

and get drunk
for a month again.

Now, listen.Hold it, Pierce.

Now look, the general was justgiving me advance notice.

I don't want this to get outuntil it's official.

Not one word to anybody.

-Understood?
-Understood.

We will keep it
very quiet, Henry,

-if that's what you want.-

Hey, Colonel,
did you hear?

There's a ceasefire!

Effective immediately!

We won't say a word,
Henry.

You can depend on us.

WOMAN :

♪ Happy days
are here again ♪

MAN :
Attention, attention,
all personnel.

Any rumors regarding a ceasefire are not official.

All personnel are ordered to continue regular assigned duties

until further notice.

Oh, honey, mine was
the Scotch and water.

Ah, Corporal Klinger,
ready for duty, I see.

What's goin' on?
What's all the hoo-ha?

Ceasefire, sweetheart.The war is over.

You're kidding!

Have I everlied to you, Miss?

If it's true,
You won't have to buck

for a psycho
discharge anymore.

Terrific!

But I'm stuck with
a dozen dresses.

Gentlemen,
I give you peace.

Sweet, quiet,
monotonous...

lovely, life-restoring,
harmonious, tranquil,

glad-about-it,
mad-about-it peace.

I'll drink to it,but I don't believe it.

Come again?

It's the same storyin every war.

The big guys,they yell ceasefire,

there's dancingin the streets,

then they pull the switch,and it starts all over again.

Trapper, it's over!

No more meatball surgery!

No more putting guys
together again

so they can be killed
at a more convenient time.

No more living in Shangri-la,buttering our bread

every morning
with DDT powder.

It's finished!

This whole damned
cursed war is over!

I'll believe that
when I'm back home

refusing my
first house call.

You really don't
believe it's real?

With all my cynical heart.

I bet you it is.

I'll bet you
anything you want.

I'll bet ya 50 bucks
they're not playing around.

You got a bet.

I hate to take
your money.

I only hope you will.

Hey, they're passing out,uh, champagne.

I thought you guys
might like some.

Nah, I'll stick with gin.

Champagne is just ginger alethat knows somebody.

Hey.

One more drink,
and that's it.

After that, we operate

and sink
your floating kidney.

You know, life won't bethe same without you both

and the Swamp.

You'll miss this?

He's queer
for garbage dumps.

I don't like to ask,

but, uh, if there'ssome little souvenir

-I could have...
-Take it all!

Help yourself.

Tell your family the whole
camp is up for grabs.

Wait a minute. Steady, Hawk.

The U.S. Army always leaves
stuff behind after war.

There's a tribe on
Guadalcanal made a god

out of a '39 Chevy.

Frank, you're not
to worry about me.

You go back to your
practice and your work

and your house and your twocars and your country club

and your friends and your
way of life and your...

wife.

I'm not going to
make any trouble.

Oh, gosh, Margaret,

it's, uh, swell of youto be so brave.

Brave of you to be so swell.

I just want you
to be happy.

I wish you couldmeet my wife.

You'd like her.

Don't press
your luck, Frank.

Major Houlihan,it's me: Radar.

Uh, what do you want?

Uh, well, I'm askingeveryone to write something

in my scrapbook.

Oh, I'm, uh,
busy right now.

Well, I just thoughtthat you and Major Burns--

Major Burns
is not here!

Well, thenhow can you be busy?

-Get lost!
-Yes, ma'am.

"Dear Radar, this is
the best restaurant

"I ever ate in.

Good luck. Hawkeye."

That's what you
want to say?

Right. Simple,but with feeling.

And loadedwith emotion.

Hey, Trapper,
sign my book?

I'll sign it when the
real ceasefire comes.

Oh, how can youturn him down?

His liver's where
his heart ought of be.

What's where hisliver oughta be?

Onions.

"Compliments of a friend?"

Boy, you guys sure knowhow to reach somebody.

Friends, friends...

civilians of all ranks.

This is the happiest--

in fact, this is the onlyhappy day of the war.

And it is fitting
that we pause

to offer a prayer
of thanksgiving

to the merciful God
who has delivered us

from this terrible conflict.

Let us pray in silence

and remember those of ourcomrades who have fallen.

-Amen.
-ALL: Amen.

And now...

on with the secular
festivities!

Attention, all personnel.

A reminder
that the ceasefire

is not officially
in effect.

All materiel and equipment

remain the property of the United States Army.

Anyone found in possession of said property

will be prosecuted to the full extent of military law.

Hold it.
Hold it, Hawkeye.

I'm trying.

Someone might walk in.

They're alldoctors and nurses.

What could we possibly dothat would surprise them?

I don't know.

Let's see what we cancome up with.

I'm gonna need that ear
after the war.

It's my duty to give youa thorough physicalbefore you go.

Speaking of which--

Hawkeye, it's very
difficult to talk

with your teeth in my neck.

It's even harder for me.

Can you be serious
for a minute?

30 seconds is my record.

What happens,
now that the war is over?

Well, both sideswill say they've won,

Detroit will go backto making cars again,

and I can treat kids for mumpsinstead of shrapnel.

What happens to us
is what I had in mind.

-Us?
-Mm-hm.

As in you and me.

Oh, that us. Right, right.

We've been very close.

Cast a single shadow,as it were.

You've never exactly
promised marriage.

Bless your memory.

But you did use
all the right words:

love... togetherness...

future.

Lieutenant, I havea confession to make.

You might've worn your ring.

And get thrownout of the Cad Society?

Kids, too?

-Five.
-Hmm.

It gets very coldup there in Vermont.

I'm sure gonna miss youwhen I get back.

Oh, well...

You don't have to wait
till then.

Sir?

Howdy, Radar.

How's it going,
old kid, old sock?

Happy, huh, sir?

Happy?

Oh, boy.

In a few daysI'm gonna be back home

tripping over kids'
rollerskates again,

cursing out the crab grass,

fuming about
my income taxes,

and being impossible
with my receptionist

and turning gray overmy wife's checking account

and loving
every minute of it.

-Ow. -Did you cut yourself, sir?

Yeah, no problem.

Good old civilian
blood again.

Nice and red.

Cut myself last week
and, uh...

it came out khaki.

That's a good one.

Thank you.

Uh, did you get a chance
to sign it, sir?

Oh, Radar, whatever
it is, you sign it.

I mean, the only businessI want do with the army

is have them validate
my parking ticket

so I can go home.

Uh, no, sir,
I mean my scrapbook.

Did you get a chance
to sign my scrapbook?

Oh, I'm-I'm sorry, Radar.

Of course.It's right there.

Oh.

"For Radar O'Reilly,
my comrade in arms,

"a swell egg who made
Korea something special.

"Thanks for everything.

"Good luck.
Affectionately,

"your friend,
Henry Blake."

Okay?

Oh, yes, sir.

Do you mean this?

Every word of it.

Sometimes it felt like
you were my father.

You've sorta beenlike a son to me.

Maybe we should
get together

when we get back
to the States.

Hey, you--Now, that's a great idea.

Look, why don't you call meand we'll have lunch?

You live in
Bloomington, Illinois,

-and I live in Iowa.-That's true.

But, you know, it wouldonly take a day or so

on the bus, and then--

and then we could have awhole long lunch together.

Sure.

Yeah, just give mea buzz.

Oh, yes, sir.

Well, but I mean,um, not right away.

You see, I'm gonna ha--

be busy, kindasettling in and all.

Oh. Oh, I understand
that, sir.

Okay, you got it.

Well, then how about,

about two months
from when we get home,

on a Saturday?

Yeah, um...
I'll tell you what.

Let's, uh, just kindaleave it loose for now, huh?

But-but we'll do it.

Okay, but, uh,

we'll, uh,
leave it loose for now.

I'm not gonna make
any trouble, Frank.

I know, darling.

No phone calls, no letters.

I won't even write you
at your office.

Margaret,you're a real prince.

I mean, cess. Cessprince.

Princess.

Oh, Frank,
you're such a ninny.

Oh, Margaret, please.

I'm supposed to keepmy middle ear dry.

Oh, it's Private Gilbert.

You operated on him
for shrapnel wounds.

What's wrong?

Well, he's awake,
but restless.

There's no improvement.

Trying to louse up
the ceasefire, Gilbert?

Uh, well to tell yathe truth, uh,

it would've been nice if theycoulda stopped the fighting

before somebodyaimed at me, sir.

Next time, hide behinda tree with an officer.

All right, I'm giving you
a direct order.

You start getting
better immediately,

or I'll operate again.

This time blindfolded
and sober.

I-I think I'm startingto feel better already, sir.

-Keep trying.
-Yes, sir.

Give him a unit
of blood,

and threaten patient
every two hours.

Captain, could I speakto you for a minute, please?

Certainly, Nurse Cutler.

That's just for
the ceasefire.

I can hardly wait
for the peace treaty.

Hawkeye, we have
to make plans.

All right, how's this?

I'll get a bottle
of wine,

and you get the keys
to the laundry room.

We'll both get in the dryerand take a trip to the moon.

I'm talking aboutour going-home plans.

Our?

Yours and mine.

As in you and me,
as in us?

Never mind.

I mean,the way we've been--

I certainly got the impressionthat we were go--

Lieutenant, darling.

I have an affliction

that will make any
long-term relationship

between us impossible.

Hawkeye, what is it?

As we're both
medical people,

I will speak
professionally.

I'm suffering from
terminal marriage.

-Easy. Take it easy.

That's stunning.
Absolutely stunning.

All right, girls,you'll find what you want.

Everything half price.

-Hey, wait a minute!
-All sales final!

Klinger, wait a minute.What's going on here?

This is my ceasefire sale.

I don't need this
stuff anymore.

I'll take this one.

Oh, yes. It's $5.00.

That was alwaysmy favorite.

-I'll wear it out.
-Oh, here.

These look great
with that.

Uh...

No charge.

Thanks!

These low heels
are killing me.

Klinger, you gonna buy
all of this stuff back

when the ceasefireturns out to be a phony?

A phony?

Sure. That's the way
it always happens.

Big boys change
their mind,

and the shooting
starts all over again.

You really believe that?

Believe it?

Ha. I bet 50 bucks on it.

Do you have thisin a size 12?

It's for my mother!

I won't make
any trouble, Frank.

I know, darling.

Not one bit.

You're a peach, Margaret.

Dead women can't make
any trouble, right?

Right.

Dead who?

I'm just gonna stick
my head in an oven...

and it'll be over in seconds.

And I won't mention
your name in my note.

Margaret,what are you saying?

I can't live
without you, Frank!

You're all I have!

I love your thin
little lips

and the bristles where
you shave your earlobes.

-Margaret!-Take me home with you, Frank!

Margaret, my wife!

I'll learn to love her.

We'll get along, you'll see.

I'll be your nurse.

She's my nurse.

Then I'll be your patient.

I'll catch
something terrible,

and you'll have to
see me every day.

I'll pay, Frank.
You can even bill me.

Darling,
take me home with you.

I won't make any problems.

Is now
a good time?

See you after supper?

Uh-huh.

-Same place?
-Mm-hmm.

I've never seen you
quite like this before.

I just found outyou're married.

You don't mind?

Just check yoursleeping bag...

for a land mine,lover.

-Happy ceasefire.

Uh, can we
settle down, people?

Quiet!

Uh, General Clayton,fellow officers, nurses,

NCOs, and our guest wounded.

Welcome to the 4077th
ceasefire party.

Uh, this being a very
special occasion,

I'm not going to take uptime by making a speech.

Instead, I'd, uh, liketo introduce a fine surgeon,

a real cut-up,Captain Hawkeye Pierce.

Now first of all,

in gratitude to
the United Nations

for setting us all free,

I am hereby forgetting
these poker IOUs

to the sum of some $1,500.

You realize I can
make all that back

with just one rich kid
with bad tonsils.

And, secondly,

I would like to presenta pictorial tribute

to the man who brought usthis great ceasefire news,

Brigadier General
Crandall Clayton.

You've, uh, you've paid us

many kind and thoughtfulvisits, General,

and I've-- I've
always tried to mark

every memorable occasionwith a photograph or two.

If you'd all turn around.

Uh, lights, please.

How many of us will forgetthis always stirring sight?

Or this one?

Of course, like
every great warrior,

you had your warm
and human side.

Uh, Pierce,
I think that, uh...

But your warm side
had an even warmer side.

Margaret!

Uh, he's just a friend
of the family.

Uh, can we have
the lights, please?

If there wasn'ta ceasefire, Pierce.

Uh, why don't we
have a song?

-"The Star-Spangled Banner."-How does it go?

Just play it,
will you, Father?

♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And never brought to mind

♪ Should old acquaintance be forgot ♪

♪ And days
of auld lang syne ♪

Hold it, hold it.

May I have your
attention, please?

I just received acommuniqué from CENCOMPAC.

There is no ceasefire.

Well, we're back
in business again.

Attention. Attention,
all personnel!

All personnel
report to surgery.

Incoming wounded.
Incoming wounded!

All personnel report to surgery immediately!

Here you are, Scrooge.

Thanks. You should've
listened to me, pal.

If the same thinghappened all over again,

I'd still make
the same bet.

On the level?

It was a glimpseof daylight

at the end ofthe damn tunnel.

You paid a pretty
heavy price.

So I blew $1,500
bucks in IOUs.

Gave up three nurses foran imaginary wife and family.

Clayton's got my butt
in his gun sight.

My hopefulness
remains intact.

Good for you.

Would you mind turning
the other way though?

I'd hate for you to seea grown man cry.