Original subtitles

Mr. Dimsdale, I know that you like to leave promptly at 4:00,

but there are times when the bank requires your services beyond the hand on the clock.

Therefore... Dimsdale?

Dimsdale!

Steve! Daddy's here.

Okay.

See you all tomorrow.

See you. See you tomorrow.

Hi, Daddy. Hi, Dad.

Oh. Sorry.

Dana!

Come on, Mark.

You have a lovely family, Mr. Dimsdale.

I'd join a car pool, but we'd need a bus.

It's reassuring to know there are still fathers

with enough interest in their children to put themselves out.

One more kid and that's exactly where I'd be.

But it's reassuring to know that there are teachers with enough interest

to be interested in fathers with enough interest.

I am, Mr. Dimsdale.

I know, Miss Barton.

See you later.

There you go, champ.

How's that for a Freudian slip?

I guess I'll use any excuse to see you again.

I was afraid you might think you've been seeing too much of me.

Too much of you? Try me.

8:00. Okay.

Dad, make him stop!

All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold it down to a small riot, will you?

Daddy, when are we gonna be able to afford a larger car?

When you're about 10 years older and can marry a millionaire.

I had more room when I was in my baby buggy.

And I haven't finished paying for that, either.

In fact I still owe two more payments to the hospital before I own you.

At least we're a very close family.

Here. Next time you do this.

I feel like I'm auditioning for Peyton Place.

Hey, it's Golda!

Hey, Golda!

Golda!

Thanks, Smokey.

Next time I'll bring the marshmallows.

That's a nice entrance, Golda,

but don't you know you can get into trouble with the city, riding a fire truck?

Relax, we watered the Mayor's lawn as we went by.

Well, don't be juicing the Mayor. All I hired you for is babysitting.

Fine. You just point them out and I'll sit on them.

Please. Don't encourage her.

I better get a few laughs. I don't get any food.

In fact, last Wednesday, I almost starved to death.

Listen, I don't mind you having a little snack,

but with your appetite I have to keep counting the kids around here.

You know how I love these children.

I must. Look at the punishment I take in this house.

They're very well behaved.

Who's talking about them?

There must be some strange, wonderful reason that I keep you on.

Oh, of all the ungrateful...

Do you realize that I have more than $20 in yarn alone

in this sweater I'm knitting for you?

For me? What is it, socks, too?

Does it come with a bunch of bananas?

Come on, you don't wear it like that. The arms have to be strapped behind you.

Oh, yes, that would... Come on.

Okay, everybody, wash your hands. Dinner's almost ready.

Dinner?

You have had dinner.

You mean last night?

Go wash your hands.

Yippee, Golda gets to stay for dinner!

Naturally!

Daddy, if she's gonna stay, we don't have enough chops. We better get some more.

Yeah, and she's over there licking hers. I better go to the store.

Golda gets to stay for dinner!

I wish I knew what they saw in her. Maybe there's a cure for it.

Okay. Now, remember, we're playing house rules.

And you, stop doubling up on sixes.

Okay, okay, hit me, down and dirty.

Good.

Thousand dollar bills.

Two thousand, three thousand, four thousand.

Five, six, seven, eight...

$10,000.

If the poor guy who lost this doesn't get it back,

he'll empty his swimming pool and dive in.

Hey. I wanna talk to you a second. No, but I got to...

Hey, you know what just happened?

No, what?

Well, I fell down over there and I found...

Forget it.

They'll never expect to find anything there.

Okay, go ahead, take it. You can have it.

What is it, Daddy? Huh?

Oh.

I'll let you know as soon as I swallow my heart.

I scared him!

Don't ever do that, Mark. Daddy could die of fright.

If he does, can I have his room?

Go to the kitchen.

Daddy, are you all right?

Yeah, but I just...

Here's Golda's chops. I'll be down right away to help you with dinner.

Watch it. I'm sorry.

You need curb feelers around here.

Daddy, you look like there's something on your mind.

No, I was just thinking about dinner and all that lettuce. I mean, bread.

Daddy! Daddy!

What's the matter, honey?

Mike and Andy and Steve won't let me play Monopoly with them.

Well, maybe they think you're too little to play.

They play it on the floor. I can reach it and I have my own money!

Well, as long as you've got your own money, let's go in and check with those cats.

I'll take two houses on Park Place.

That'll be $1,000.

Hey, listen, why don't you kids let your little brother in the game?

I could buy 10 houses. I got lots of money.

You heard him. His money's down.

But, Dad, he doesn't understand, it takes more than money.

Not more than this money.

Yeah, but I still wish you'd let him in the game.

It's my money. Give me it! Give me it!

Well, go ahead, give it to him.

But, Dad!

Yeah, but you don't have... You...

You.

Where did you get this money?

I found it.

Where?

In my secret hiding place.

I stumbled onto the family vault.

Well, it just so happens to be mine. I put it there.

Okay.

A thousand dollar bill?

Ten thousand dollar bills, to be exact.

I found them in the parking lot.

Oh, Daddy!

Oh, boy, now I get that little tape recorder I've always been dreaming about.

And an adding machine to figure out my back pay.

And I can get my walkie-talkies. Yeah.

And you can pay off the hospital, and then you'll own me.

And I can get... Hold it. Hold it.

This money goes back to the manager of the market tomorrow.

But why? 'Cause somebody lost it, that's why.

In kindergarten, it's finders keepers.

In your kindergarten, ring-around the Rosie was probably fixed.

The money goes back.

You're kidding! When you hand over the money, ask if anybody found your marbles.

Daddy's right. We sure could use it, though.

Yeah, with $10,000 we could buy a lot of nice things.

A car big enough for people, an engagement ring,

or a nice dress for the school dance.

But we've got to do the honest thing, right?

Do you want an honest answer?

But, Dad, if you turn the money in to the market, how do we know they won't keep it?

They won't even give you trading stamps!

If it's going to fall into the hands of crooks, I'd rather it be us!

We've got to think of the poor man who lost it.

Not the poor man who found it.

I suppose we could put a little ad in the paper,

asking the person who lost it to get in touch with us.

Yeah, but 20,000 people will claim it.

Mike's right. But I could watch the want ads

for the person who lost it to advertise.

See, there is an honest way.

Oh, boy!

Some people can't even be trusted to find money!

I still like the way we do things in kindergarten.

Not a bad place for a date.

Sort of a poor man's Las Vegas.

Music, dancing and you come out clean.

Think of all those unfortunate people with their own washing machines.

Ellie, am I being some kind of jerk?

You mean about the money you found?

Keep it, and you'll never be able to live with yourself.

I'll be able to live with you.

I think you're doing exactly the right thing, watching for an ad in the paper.

But what if nobody claims it? No ad appears?

Honey, we're talking about $10,000.

Nobody can afford to lose that kind of money unless they have long hair and play a guitar.

Not if it was some kind of hot money.

Or undeclared cash or something.

Think of what we could do with it.

Oh, I got to get you out of here. You're breathing too much of this detergent.

Dana's.

Andy.

But if we could keep it, think how beautiful things would be.

Mark's.

We could really start to live.

You know, when you've got seven kids, this is a big event.

Maybe we could even have a few more little mouths to feed.

Honey, right now I'd settle for just being able to marry you.

Well!

Arthur, get me out of here. This place is full of sex maniacs!

You, I trust.

Oh, no.

Only one to a bed in this hotel.

What've you got, two heads?

Daddy.

The studious one.

Oh, he's learning pretty fast.

What's with you?

Dad, I waited up for you.

Well, you didn't have to. I'm a big boy now.

I just wanted to tell you, we all sure hope there's no ad in the paper tomorrow.

Dream it.

More mouths to feed.

What a club.

Never thought you'd turn on your master.

Here, you read it.

I couldn't.

Not me.

I pass.

I'll read it.

You can't even read.

It isn't there.

Oh, boy! We can keep it!

No, no.

Not yet. Too soon. Maybe it'll be in tomorrow's paper.

Gee, Dad, what if we...

No, we're not going to cancel our subscription.

Oh, it's you. With all that money in the house, I hooked up a burglar alarm.

Yeah, but...

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

But I think my eyeballs just changed sockets.

It works.

Yeah, it's fine. Now the question is, do I?

Aren't you going a little far with this?

Are you kidding?

With all that money in the house, the last two weeks I've been a money-sitter.

No, it couldn't be. Could it?

This is Ronald.

And if he doesn't change his ways, all I'm going to give him for Christmas is a sponge.

Have you been moonlighting?

I hope you mean that the way I hope you mean that.

He belongs to the neighbors down the street.

They pay cash.

Cash. It's people like that who ruin the neighborhood.

How long you gonna keep waiting? The money is yours.

You know, there's something sick about being so honest.

You think I'm happy about it?

But I've got to think about the kids.

I've got to set an example for them to follow.

Some example. They'll grow up and try to become idiots.

Just look at you! You're a nervous wreck.

You don't even know what you are doing.

Well, I may be a trifle tense,

but I'm in perfect control of myself.

Yeah, in perfect control, eh?

Newspapers in the refrigerator?

Well, I...

And...

Now, who put that in there?

You're in control like he's in control.

It's almost his feeding time.

Boy, have you got a wrong number.

Well, I guess I'll be running along,

if there's nothing else you'd like.

No, running along is plenty for me. Goodnight, Golda.

Goodnight.

Oh, uh, Henry.

Henry?

I've been thinking. If you're free some night,

maybe I could give one of my IOUs to a babysitter and we could...

You and me?

Stranger things have happened.

Not to me. Oh, look, Golda, I appreciate the offer,

but, you know, Miss Barton and I are sort of a thing.

Well. Watch it. With her education,

she knows the difference between a proposal and a proposition.

What happened to you and your boyfriend?

Have you and the snake charmer gone pfft?

No. Pfft!

Hey, Stevie, why aren't you in bed?

I've got a test in algebra.

You don't know what trouble is until you get in that stuff.

Here, have a blast.

I couldn't fall asleep.

You, too?

Belly up to the bar, I'm buying.

I guess I'm worried because I know you're worried.

Well, you shouldn't be.

I don't think I'll ever get rid of these jitters until I get rid of that money.

Spend it. That's a good way to get rid of it.

It isn't mine.

Mark, Andy, Dana, Mike and me, we took a vote on you today,

on account of you already held the money for two weeks.

And what did the summit decide?

You got two "honests" and three "stupids."

If I didn't believe in the secret ballot, there would be three good spankings.

How would you vote, honey?

Any way that would give you some peace of mind.

Yeah. I wish I knew what to do.

If Mom was here, I bet you she'd tell you to keep it.

Yeah, your mother always was pretty good at figuring out problems. She married one.

If Ellie was our mom, she could tell you what to do.

Are you gonna marry her, Dad?

Steve, that's not a fair question to ask your father.

That's not even a fair question to ask Ellie, without that $10,000.

That does it. I've waited long enough.

Anybody who lost $10,000 and doesn't try to claim it in two weeks, doesn't want it.

Tomorrow morning, when the other kids wake up,

you can give them the news. I'm putting the money in the bank. We're keeping it.

Oh, Dad! Oh, Daddy!

Just for that, don't tell them a thing.

Why do you want to put it into a savings account?

Make a public record out of it?

Why don't you just keep it right where it is, in your money belt.

I had a large lunch.

Sure, you'll never be able to shake those insurance salesmen,

and those guys with the cemetery plots.

And the income tax boys. You found it, and they'll find you.

I don't know, $10,000 is a lot of responsibility for a two-dollar wallet.

- Don't be foolish, Henry. - They're right, Dimsdale.

As a bank president, I say deposit the money in a bank.

But, as a friend who knows what you've been through with those seven children,

I say think of yourself.

Well, I guess that settles it.

Getting it right from the horse's mouth.

I mean the boss's mouth.

I can't tell you how delighted I am, Dimsdale.

And confidentially, when no one turned up to claim the money immediately,

I knew you'd wind up with it.

The first thing I got to do is teach my kids the meaning of a new word. Spend.

That's the idea. And don't forget to enjoy it yourself.

Buy that new car, buy that new fishing rod, buy that new suit.

Well, I can sure use the money.

My suits are worn out but the pockets are brand new.

Goodnight, Dimsdale.

Thanks.

Here it is, sir.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

I just can't understand a thing like that. Can you, Mr. Pomeroy?

Not a shortage in our books. Maybe if you checked the figures again.

I'd be delighted. But in the meantime, if I might suggest,

you should try to think of one of your employees

who's recently been living beyond his means.

A big spender?

I can't think of a one.

Yeah, I guess this is it. I'll take it.

Not just short, Mr. Pomeroy. $50,000 short.

One of my people? I just can't believe it.

I'll take it.

Ellie's on the phone, Daddy.

Hello, honey.

How about putting down your pencil and putting on some lipstick?

I'm taking you out to dinner tonight, to someplace special,

where you don't have to order the special.

I'll need your name, sir.

Oh, sure. Henry Dimsdale.

Dimsdale?

There it is in black and white. $50,000 short.

Not Henry.

Are you sure you haven't made a mistake?

All right, girls.

These are the very latest, Mr. Dimsdale.

That yellow one is beautiful.

Well, we'll take it.

Oh, yes, sir.

Oh, Daddy!

Oh, she said Daddy, but she meant Father.

Of course, sir.

And I believed him when he told me he found the money in a parking lot.

But, Mr. Pomeroy, would an embezzler call attention to himself

by telling everybody he found $10,000?

I don't know what to say.

Well, I do. Get down to the police department

and swear out a warrant for Dimsdale's arrest.

A man with seven wonderful children.

Boy, with this family, I might as well walk around naked.

Oh, you said a dirty word.

Hey.

If money can't buy happiness, then this is a pretty crazy brand of misery.

Oh, Henry, you shouldn't have!

I didn't.

I know, but I love to watch a coward squirm.

It's Golda!

I got a paint book.

Beautiful!

The money! You kept it. Or rather, you blew it.

I knew you had some good crooked blood in you somewhere.

Welcome to the club.

All right, everybody, school tomorrow. Off to bed.

And I don't want any report cards coming home with A in Snoring. Hit the pad.

Sleeping's no fun.

I'm going to dream I made Daddy go to bed early.

Well, it's about time that I...

Hey, Marty, what are you doing here at this hour? Your wife left you?

Nothing like that. This is bad news.

Bad news?

Two bank examiners came over to look over the books.

Well, what about it?

Don't you understand?

I think we're being bugged by a live one.

Pardonnez-moi.

Well, they found a shortage in your books,

and you've been pretty loose with your money all of a sudden.

Yeah, but you know I found the $10,000, and so does Mr. Pomeroy.

Yes, but he doesn't believe it anymore.

He's sure it's part of the missing money.

But, Marty, you believe me, don't you?

Of course. You're not bright enough to steal $50,000.

$50,000? But I...

$50,000!

Poor Mr. Dimsdale. Unless he took it. Then it's rich Mr. Dimsdale.

I'm going right down to Mr. Pomeroy to clear this thing up.

I'm being framed by somebody.

Well, you can go right over to Police Headquarters,

where he's swearing out a warrant for your arrest. Now, if you take my advice,

you get out of town and you lay low until you can clear yourself.

Oh, dear!

I need time to think it over.

In about 10 minutes you're gonna have 10 years to think it over.

Yeah, but, Marty.

Look, if they catch me here with you,

guess who'll be lining up next to you in the exercise yard.

See you, Henry. Good luck.

Thanks, Marty.

All I have to do now is figure out what I have to do now.

Get out of town!

Hey, how do you know what happened?

I got wall-to-wall ears. Listen, if I were in your shoes, they'd be running.

Don't stand there! I'll help you pack.

The next voice you hear may have a siren on the end of it.

Yeah, but even if I wanted to run away, I've got seven kids. I can't leave them.

Why leave them?

Yeah, we could all go on the lam together.

Some families go bowling. And your car will be hot.

You'd better switch plates with me.

Yeah, I'll get them ready. Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. I'm panicking.

They can't put me in jail. What have they really got against me?

That I bought a new car for cash, a diamond ring for cash,

a store full of toys for cash?

I wonder if they'll let me have visitors on weekends.

You're right. You round up the boys and I'll get the girls packed.

Linda. What is it, Daddy?

It's nothing, honey, just put your clothes on

and get the other girls dressed and packed. We're going on a trip.

At this time of night?

Yeah, it's a new thing, instant vacation.

But, Daddy... No buts, honey, just get dressed and packed.

I've got to go back downstairs.

I forgot my lawyer. I mean my laundry.

Come on, baby, put it all together. It's gonna be great fun.

Come on, come on! What's the matter?

Don't ask so many questions.

Get dressed, put some things in a suitcase, you're going on a vacation.

A vacation, whoopee!

Come on, out of the sack. Huh?

Out! Out!

What about school?

School? Are you some kind of a nut?

Come on, shorty, on your feet.

I'm sorry, Mark, you got to go!

I already went.

Steve, you take charge of this lump of Jell-O.

I've got to go check on the girls.

Mr. Dimsdale?

Why deny it?

I hope you don't mind my barging in.

Well, I must say, you fellows are sure polite.

Mom always says, "Jasper, if you can't be bright, be polite."

Mom knows me real good. She's my mother.

Part of the new breed.

I suppose you want to frisk me.

Not really.

What'd you have in mind?

You're very kind.

You're very playful.

I guess you won't mind if I go up and say goodbye to the kids.

I'd rather they hear it from me.

You go right ahead, Mr. Dimsdale. Thanks.

Mr. Dimsdale, Mr. Dimsdale, don't you think I ought to...

Jasper!

Jasper?

Relax. He's my new boyfriend.

Just don't talk about snake charmers.

Jasper, darling!

You know, your boss is kind of a kook, but he's got a lot of heart.

Jasper, how nice of you to drop in unannounced. Just like a raid.

Golda, it's so good to see you. I wanted you to be the first to know,

I've been promoted to Detective.

Detective! Wonderful.

Now, I want you to tell me all about it.

So, you go home and call me up.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, Golda. He's very friendly.

He doesn't mind my being here. Fact is, he's taking off any minute.

How do you know that?

Well, he said he wanted to go upstairs and say goodbye to the kids.

I mean, if he was gonna stay, he wouldn't have said that, now, would he?

Say, you are a detective, aren't you?

Here, come with me, right in here, come on.

What's the matter, honey?

I couldn't stand it, that, that hungry look in your eye.

Here is something delicious that I just made,

ice cold beef stew.

Golda, bless your heart. As a matter of fact, I am kind of hungry.

Hungry enough to eat a horse.

Now, I'll be right back. And you eat slow. It's better for everybody's digestion.

Hurry it up. I got the fuzz feeding his face.

Thanks, Golda. Say, and Pogo's got to be fed before we leave.

Check. What does he eat besides stuffed pandas?

Now, it's on the third shelf in the refrigerator.

It's stewed horse meat and kibble.

Check, third shelf, refrigerator.

That's dog food?

Dogs love it!

I wonder who that is.

Jasper!

If I'd wanted this kind of action, I'd have been a mailman.

Isn't that cute? He didn't want you to eat alone.

That clown acted like I was on the menu.

Say, what's a Pogo?

A Pogo?

That's the name of the manufacturer. It was made in Japan.

It's also a transistor radio.

Pogo! Pogo! Pogo! Here, boy!

Why, that was dog food.

Don't you like my cooking?

Where are you going?

To get a distemper shot.

I can't let you go!

Tonight's special. We've got to have something special.

I already did.

Wine! Special wine to toast your promotion.

Cooking sherry?

But what a year!

Red wine with dog food?

Pogo! Pogo! Here, boy!

Hey, what're you doing? I'm dancing!

Oh, that music turns me on.

Really? I thought you had a cold button somewhere.

Goodbye! Goodbye!

Goodbye!

Goodbye! Bye!

Goodbye!

Now I know just how Ma Dillinger felt.

Ow!

Ooh, that smarts.

Golda, you got me all wound up.

Maybe you better leave before you

pop your mainspring.

I hear bells. I think it's love.

I think it's the doorbell.

Family curse. We dig novel women.

Mr. Henry Dimsdale?

What if I said yes?

I know he won't mind if we come in and say hello.

You got a warrant to say hello?

Hello.

Lynch! You here, too?

Me, too?

Golda. You and my superior officer?

The least you could've done was picked a different precinct.

How long has this been going on?

About 30 seconds. I knew you'd find out sooner or later.

The joint's clean. Not a sign of Dimsdale.

That's right, he's out for the evening.

Out for the evening?

Yeah, and she's the babysitter. Right, Golda?

It's only temporary.

I'm just waiting around for the next Miss Universe contest.

No sign of the kids, either. Nothing.

That's right. They're up in their little beds, fast asleep.

Very fast.

In their little beds.

It may come as a shock to you, Detective Lynch,

but Mr. Dimsdale is wanted for embezzling $50,000,

and he just escaped under your nose

with a family of seven and a four-footed monster named Pogo.

Pogo?

Why that dirty dog!

And you let that whole bunch get away.

Well, Lieutenant, I'll tell you something.

In spite of what you say, I feel responsible,

and as my first assignment as Detective,

I request permission to bring in Dimsdale.

Lynch, I'm not giving you permission, I'm giving you an order.

Chief, you can count on me. I'll follow that man to the ends of the earth.

Further, if necessary.

Well, if the kids are gone, there's no use of me sitting around.

Now, just a minute.

What?

Get it on the radio. Dimsdale, the kids, the car, the license.

And I think you better take a little ride downtown with me.

All right, but you know how jealous Jasper gets.

Come on, get out of here!

Daddy, how come you got off from the bank now?

Your vacation isn't till August.

Honey, it's a little late. Why don't you get some rest.

Here, I'll get a little rock-a-bye music for you.

...suspected of embezzling $50,000...

...believe the bank teller and his seven children...

...fleeing the city in a late-model Chrysler station wagon...

Nothing but cheap mystery programs.

Daddy?

Yes, honey?

We're running away, aren't we?

What, because of that stuff on the radio?

There must be a lot of bank tellers with seven children heading for the state line.

And besides, I promised you kids a vacation,

and money, you know.

I can't lie to you. You have your mother's eyes.

Were the ones they're after, aren't we?

If I went to jail before I could clear myself,

I don't know what would happen to you kids.

But, Daddy, doesn't running away make it worse?

Honey, we hit "worse" before we left the house.

I'll confess!

Only turn off that light!

Water. Water! Give me a drink of water!

Golda, will you stop turning that light on. It's hot in here.

What kind of a third degree is this?

Here I was, looking forward to something, and what do I get?

No light in my eyes, all the water I want, no rubber hose.

You haven't even hit me with a folded newspaper.

Talk about police brutality.

Lieutenant, we'll never get her to talk. She won't stop talking.

Look, all we want to know is,

did Dimsdale give you any idea where he might be headed?

Well, the kids wanted to go to San Diego.

So, more than likely, that's where they're headed.

Big S, small A.

Small N. Big D.

San Diego?

No, Bakersfield.

Well, if he's headed for San Diego, how does he get to Bakersfield?

Don't ask me, I get lost in my own driveway.

She's your friend, take her home! I've had all I can take.

You heard what he said, Jasper. Let's go up to my place.

No, Golda, passion's got to wait.

No, I've sworn to give wholeheartedly of myself

in the pursuit of justice. I shall doggedly pursue it.

Across the mountains, the prairies, the plains,

and the cities. He shall not know a moment of peace or security.

For I, Jasper Lynch,

am on the trail.

Say, you keep defending him.

Don't tell me you're on his side?

Don't tell me you want to arrest an innocent man

with seven kids and a babysitter to support?

You are on his side!

Well, you never know when they're gonna turn on you.

I'll bet you were covering up for him back there at headquarters.

And I believed you when you said he was heading north.

And south and west and...

Luckily, I was an Eagle Scout,

and I happen to know there's another direction on the compass.

I'm gonna put it on the Teletype right now.

Dimsdale is headed east!

Not in this car, you don't.

Golda, give me those keys!

I should've known that wouldn't work.

Good evening, miss. Do you have any plants or citrus fruit with you?

No, sir, just my mother and the children.

Evening, ma'am.

Have a pleasant trip.

Just a minute, miss!

I thought you looked familiar.

Aren't you Jenny Hotchkiss, who graduated from James Monroe High?

Bessie Mae Zoldak, and I was a dropout.

Well, at...

Well, at least we made it out of the state.

This vacation's no fun!

Why couldn't we stay in the hotel?

Easy, kids, easy.

You're seeing a part of America very few people get to see.

It's not even on the map.

Are we really lost?

Not completely.

We've been around the same block three times.

Now, if I could just figure out which block.

I wanna go home.

I wanna go sleep.

I wanna go!

Old Faithful's right on time again.

You sure you just don't wanna play with the roller towel?

Positive.

There must be somebody still awake

who wouldn't mind if we started our own share-the-plumbing drive.

This is perfect. Give me the flashlight.

In there, Daddy? Aren't we taking a chance?

Not at all. Every house has one.

Hope there's nobody in there.

So does Mark. Keep everybody quiet.

Hello? Hello?

It must be down here.

Hey, that was a good idea. I feel better, too.

Daddy.

It's a rest stop. It doesn't mean rest.

I guess that's my bed.

Yeah.

Well, why fight the majority?

And you can have this one for only 10% down.

Now, I know you folks have been looking at a lot of houses,

but I'm going to show you something you've never seen in a model house before.

Now, you just look around, and I'll open up a window and get a little air here.

What's the matter? A man!

Lady! Lady, shh! Oh, hi there.

What is this? What are you doing here?

Right now I'm trying to get my right leg in the right leg.

That's not what I mean!

I suppose you want an explanation of why I'm here.

I suppose I do!

Well, how about this? I overslept.

How dare you just walk in and spend the night here!

Morning, Dad. Boy, was I sleepy.

You have two children?

Yeah, it was an accident. I mean us staying here, not the children.

You don't know the half of it.

Morning, Daddy. We about ready to go?

Morning, Daddy.

That's about the half of it.

If you'll just give me a chance to...

Four children! Well, I hope no more are gonna pop out.

I'm with you.

Dad, me and Linda wanna know if we're gonna cook here or eat out.

Well, I guess we both lost.

I can't believe it. I just can't believe it!

What kind of a man would have the gall to stay overnight

in a strange house with six kids?

Daddy, I'm hungry.

Seven!

Well, he doesn't count, he just dropped in to check the plumbing.

Never in my whole life. There just better not be any more.

I give you my word, there's no more children.

Oh, no!

A dog! Oh, no!

He thinks he's a pussycat.

I'm calling the cops.

This is trespass! This is invasion! This is breaking and entering!

Wait, wait! Come here.

And this is 10% down.

You're talking cash?

I figured you'd dig those Jolly Green Giants.

The papers are in the car.

Fine.

Daddy, are you going to buy the house?

Okay. Get your things out of the car.

We're staying? This is it, go.

This house is a bargain for a family like ours. It's cheaper than bail.

And besides, we got to figure a place to hide out until I can get my name cleared.

If you can clear mud.

Hello.

Is this 213-794-5499?

Yes. Who is this?

This is 213-798-7499.

213-7... Henry, is that you?

Please, no names. Just call me by my area code.

Are you all right? Are the children all right?

Oh, sure. Everybody's fine.

Things aren't much different, I just have to keep my car parked with the motor running.

I had to call you, Ellie, just to explain why I didn't show last night.

You didn't have to. It's in all the papers. Pictures, as well.

Ellie, I didn't do it. I'm innocent!

I know that, darling.

I love you. Do you think I care what the papers say?

Thanks, Ellie. Well, there's nothing left to say except I love you, too.

Don't hang up. Where are you? I'll pack and come instantly.

What are you talking about? You'd become an accessory.

Of course, you'd be one of the nicest accessories a crime ever had,

but forget it, huh? But I want to be with you.

Yeah, but they wouldn't put me in a woman's prison.

Look, I don't want you to get mixed up in this. Stay where you are.

But supposing I find out something that might help you get out of this mess.

You better not write it down, just memorize it. 141 Cactus Way, Phoenix.

141 Cactus Way, Phoenix, Arizona.

Good morning.

Morning.

What's the matter, Daddy?

Oh, it's our next-door neighbor. What a vulture.

She knows a dead pigeon when she sees one.

Next thing you know, she'll be over here ringing the bell.

I'll get it.

It's Ellie! It's Ellie.

Ellie! Hello.

Ellie!

Okay, kids. Break it up.

You did the welcome bit, so get lost.

Come on. I know, go ahead. Go ahead.

Ellie and Daddy have a little grownup talking to do.

And don't take it off, you're going right back.

After dinner.

You do that again and you'll still leave, but I'll go with you.

Now you listen to me, Mr. Dimsdale-Duncan.

I love you. And you're in trouble and I'm going to share it with you.

I'm just not leaving, and that's all there is to it.

I'll admit, there's a lot to it. This is no place for you.

You don't seem to realize just how much you really do need me.

Henry, do you want a policeman ringing your bell

to find out why the children aren't in school?

And you can't send them without their records from Altadena.

I'm the answer.

Your children are going to have a private tutor.

Okay. You're the teacher. I'll move you in with Linda.

You'd better not. If teacher lived here, Mrs. Nosy Neighbor,

who was sizing me up when I came in, might get a wrong idea.

Yeah, and I might get a few myself.

I'll find a little place in town.

Going somewhere?

Yeah, I'm going into town to get you an apartment.

We can call it Wrong-ideas-ville.

You can't risk going into town. Somebody might recognize you.

Yeah, I guess you're right. I'd better lay low for a while.

I'll pick up my bag later.

Ellie, I'm glad you came.

You know, it's nice to know that somebody is on your side.

Especially now, with everybody in the world out to get me.

I'm no exception. I'm out to get you, too.

What a trap.

Pardon the interruption. So, that was the man with those seven kids.

This the man?

That's definitely some other guy.

That other guy happens to be my sweetheart.

Well, if you put it that way.

There's an awful lot of hostility in you, baby.

That's him. That's the man.

I'd know that nose anywhere.

So he did pass through here after all.

Now the question is, where's he headed for?

Yuma? Salt Lake?

Daddy, open this for me, please.

Mmm-hmm.

Daddy, I think you're pretty. I don't care what everybody else says.

Yeah. What does everybody else say?

That you look like a short, fat President Lincoln.

Well, I guess that's better than being a furry Benedict Arnold.

Look, kids, I'm busy now. Daddy's looking for something very important in the paper.

Wanna see how I can read? Listen, Daddy.

"$1,000 reward offered for

"Altadena bank em-bell-zer-er."

No.

Em-bell-zer-er-er?

No, that's "embezzler." It's a common word, something you find around the house.

Let's go out and play.

Embezzler. That's a funny word.

Yeah, I'm hysterical.

Go out and play with your brother.

I've given the children a break. They're doing so well today.

Something the matter?

Boy, if I don't do something about finding out who framed me, nobody will.

I can't just sit around here waiting for a miracle.

I'm gonna go back to Altadena, get into that bank and take a good look at those books.

But that's too dangerous. Then I'm coming with you.

Oh no. I'm not letting you get involved.

I'm already involved.

Oh, you must be some kind of beautiful nut.

Anyway, I'm still coming with you.

I don't think that's what they had in mind when they said

couples in love should do things together.

Tickles.

Get used to it.

He's just closing the door now.

All clear.

Okay, but this may take a minute.

My blood is having trouble finding my legs.

Okay. Now I'm gonna look through the books. Is anybody coming?

No. It's still all clear.

Please, darling, do try and hurry.

Just take it easy. With you out there, I feel perfectly safe in here.

Hey, it's the Altadena Bank.

Attention. G-1275, G-1283, G-9511, it's a 23-41.

A 23-41. That's a 23-41.

23-41? They must have left out a number.

Nobody's built like that!

It's a 23-41, the Altadena Bank. Get out there.

That's a bank robbery. It's only a couple of blocks away.

Hey, I found it. Boy, did he do things with my books!

I don't know who he is, but I bet he never pays any income tax.

Henry!

Just a few more pages. I want to look at this.

Get out of there. It's the police!

Hey. See a man run through here?

Leave me alone, fuzz.

Let's go!

Hey, a man on the run just jumped into that car.

I think our bank robber is a paunchy overage folksinger.

They're after us, all right. And they're not trying to beat us to a parking space.

Hang on, Golda. This could mean speeds in excess of 65 miles an hour.

Hey, I'll cut over and go up the on-ramp.

The freeway? Won't it be easy to recognize us?

Not up there, everybody drives like a fugitive.

Henry, we forgot it's the rush hour.

Just our luck, trying to make a getaway in the world's longest parking lot.

Come on, you guys! Open up! Open up!

Well, what do we do now?

We could neck.

Hey, there they are. About a dozen cars ahead.

And we're gaining on them. Keep it up.

We're gaining. Six, seven, eight, nine inches.

A quarter of a mile to the next exit.

Out of my way. One side. Look.

I'm a policeman. Open up, in the name of the law.

You hear me? I said I'm a policeman.

Well, Golda. All my life I wanted to say that.

But I'm afraid we're not... Golda? Golda?

Golda!

All right. Break it up, just break it up.

Let the police through.

Okay, just for that. Everybody off of the freeway!

What's wrong down there? Don't you hear me?

What are you, some kind of a kook, lady?

Keep your eyes on the road. What do you want to cause, a wreck?

Well, you're walking on top of my car!

You're lucky I'm not Jose Greco.

I got an idea.

Hey! That's illegal.

Here. What's that for?

They might have spotted the beard, and there's more than one way to have a close shave.

But they're looking for you without a beard, too.

Yeah, I'm a walking doubleheader.

Go ahead, knock off the beard, just leave the mustache.

Aha! Aha?

He's heading up that dead-end street. That'll bottle him up.

Here comes the stopper.

Boy, this guy is tough and slippery.

But is he really happy?

You know, Golda, this criminal we're after is obviously devious and clever,

with an IQ between 134 and 147.

No!

Catching him could make up for letting Dimsdale slip through my fingers.

It could?

Well, if I knew... Golda!

It's a loaded Smith and Wesson six-inch .38.

Relax. I'm only gonna get him in the tires.

Oh, great. You got our tire!

Yeah, how about that.

D-341, D-341.

D-341, go ahead. On that bank robbery,

all that's missing is a sheet from the ledger of the 301 file

with the seven kids, Dimsdale.

Dimsdale. That was Dimsdale with the beard.

Of all the cheap hairy tricks.

Mr. Dimsdale?

And to think we've been playing hide-and-go-seek with his hide.

And I almost helped to catch him!

On that request for a make on auto license, T-A-O 2-1-6.

It's a rental to a Jane Smith, whose time of arrival this a.m.

indicates Flight 64 out of Phoenix.

Phoenix.

Why, he'd never go to Phoenix.

He wouldn't?

Well, if you say so, that's exactly where we're going.

We? No, no, you're not going.

You've let go a gopher on the front lawn of justice for the last time.

It's Daddy and Ellie!

He cut off his whiskers. He never quits...

Now, look, kids. I don't want any questions asked.

I just want everybody to get packed right away. It's blast-off time again.

We're gonna leave? Let's go to Paris.

Hey, you sure you can't read? Come on, everybody get ready.

Daddy, I was so worried about you. Why do we have to run away again?

I've been promoted from page 8 to page 1.

"Bank embezzler sought in Phoenix"?

Yeah, every cop in the city is looking for a guy with seven kids and a nervous breakdown.

I'd better dash home and get my things.

Oh, no. I let you talk me into staying, but that's it.

In fact there's only one place you're going, and that's straight back to Altadena.

I most certainly am not.

You most certainly am so.

Honey, the heat's on. They're closing in on me. If they pick you up with me,

the next class you'd be teaching is basket-weaving in the jute mill.

But what about the children?

That's right, if I get nabbed,

don't you think we ought to have somebody on the outside

to tell them about the birds and the bees and the embezzlers?

But when will I see you? How will I know where you are?

You won't, till I get this mess cleared up. Or the police clear it up for me.

I still don't like the idea.

Maybe the next time, you better fall in love with a guy who never gets into trouble,

like the head of the Mafia.

Good luck.

Daddy, where are we going?

Promise to keep it under your hat?

I wish I knew.

Daddy, Mr. Pomeroy just went by. Hello, Mr. Pomeroy!

What? Don't be silly, Mark. What would Mr. Pomeroy be doing here?

Right now he's back in the bank, checking on everybody who took a late lunch hour.

Mark saw a mirage.

I saw Mr. Pomeroy. I did so, Daddy.

If only it was Mr. Pomeroy. He's the one person I could show this to.

He'd recognize my handwriting.

But it was Mr. Pomeroy, Daddy.

Right in the backseat of that taxi.

Well, what can we lose?

At least it's a cheap way to find out if he needs glasses.

Just staying a moment. Park it, will you, Linda?

Mr. Pomeroy's room, please.

Pomeroy? Yeah. I think he just checked in.

Pomeroy.

He's tall, distinguished, smells of money.

I'm sorry, sir. We don't have any Pomeroy on the guest list.

Oh, he must be here.

The only thing I passed going the other way was two prairie dogs and a tumbleweed.

I'm sorry, sir. He didn't stop here.

Well, thanks anyway. You're welcome.

Your key, Mr. Haskell. Your bags are in your room.

And your coat is there, too, Mrs. Haskell.

Thank you very much.

Haskell?

Mrs. Pomeroy is not that young.

In fact she's not that anything.

Bunny Toes!

I don't know what to say. Is it insured?

You're a very expensive but non-deductible item, my dear.

Not Mr. Pomeroy.

Maybe she's just looking for a loan and he's just checking her collateral.

Psst!

Now, honey, don't be like that. Now, look, it's not so bad.

After all, we'll have a few hours of fun and games before I have to fly back.

Fly back?

Waiter. Waiter!

I'm sorry, angel pie, but it's an absolute necessity.

Waiter!

We'll start with three Caesar salads. We'll think about the entree.

Yes, sir.

But, angel cake, I've got to go back.

Things are still a little touchy around the bank.

Bank, bank, bank. All you think about is work.

Hardly. It's more in the nature of self-preservation.

Sorry.

And my wife is beginning to suspect something.

I've been a little too happy around the house.

Your wife!

Now you're depressing me. And you know what happens to my system.

Lamby, lovey, the last thing I want to do is upset my little raisin dumpling, but

things are getting difficult.

Difficult?

We're not running out of money, are we?

I think I'd like to eat somewhere else.

So would I.

Well, naturally, my dear.

You see, in my particular business, there are some things

that it doesn't pay to advertise.

Well, just so you know that I'm a very sensitive person,

and I like to be respected.

And I don't like to be left alone.

Do you think I'm leaving you here on choice?

There are many pressures, my precious.

I've got to be there, to keep up appearances at the bank.

I'll be so lonesome. I'm the only person in town I know.

And let's keep it like that.

Oh, honey, I'll fly in whenever I can.

You don't understand. But there are a few other problems in life besides that.

Like what? Well, like, shall we say,

a group of people who frown on bank presidents living magnificently?

Well, if you ask me, they're just mean and jealous,

and I hope they're not the reason that you're running back to Altadena.

I'll give you another reason. The FBI is back in town.

Well, aren't they after that fellow Dimsdale?

And that's the way we want to keep it. No connection between you and me.

That's it, that's the house, right there.

Passing himself off as a decent, upstanding citizen.

Well, it just goes to show you what a desperate, criminal mind will go to.

Get over there.

Now hear this! Now hear this! Get out the back, Henry.

The fuzz is at the front door. Run for your life!

Got you!

You didn't find him, did you?

Golda, this is the last time. I mean the last time.

I wouldn't take this from Mother.

Officer, Officer! If you're looking for Mr. Duncan, he left this morning

with those seven little noisemakers.

Duncan?

Is this a picture of him?

No, that's not him.

It certainly is. Before the beard. Before the mustache.

Mustache, huh? Very good. Now stop and think for a minute.

Did he happen to mention where he was going? Did he talk to anybody else?

Like a friend, maybe.

Well, there was this certain person. She called herself a schoolteacher.

Her name was... Oh, I do have trouble with names.

I can think of a few. Golda!

Miss Barton?

Yes?

Miss Ellie Barton?

Yes.

Your landlord said that you might be interested in our new 32-volume set of

World Wide Encyclopedia. We're recommended by Diners Club.

Well, no, thanks. I'm rather busy at the moment. Maybe some other time.

Some other time. Yeah, sure. Thanks.

That was the Barton dame, all right.

She was packing her stuff. Getting ready to run off and meet him.

You know, this capture could make me more famous than Melvin Purvis.

Honey, Golda. I apologize for this.

You know how much I love you.

But this really, you know, it hurts me more than it does you.

It really does.

Hi, Daddy. Hi.

Make him stop. Hey, wait a minute.

You're gonna have a long panda bear.

Hi, Daddy. Hi, Linda.

What's in those boxes? Oh, this may help my case.

Pomeroy is leaving this afternoon.

I've got a hunch his girlfriend, Monica, knows everything.

About Pomeroy, I mean.

What's that got to do with what's in the boxes?

I'll show you later.

- You ready out there? - Yeah!

Okay. All right!

What are you dressed like that for, Daddy?

Well, how do I look, Linda? Or should I say Linda Bird?

Oh, like a Texas oilman with millions. Good.

Because if I sized up Monica right, that's what she likes.

A plain, simple fellow with a walk-in wallet.

Oh, Daddy, you look positively in.

What I'm trying to do is stay out. Say, this better work.

Oh, I forgot my money.

I bet it has something to do with the bank job.

No, I bet we're broke and he's going to work as a bellhop.

Sure one way to find out.

How?

Come on.

$1,100, $1,200.

I didn't know we had that much money left.

These are just singles, honey. They wouldn't buy dinner at this place.

But they do make a nice sandwich.

Hey, where are you two going in such a hurry?

Nowhere special, Dad.

Just outside, to look for Pogo.

Poor kids, they're stir-crazy, too.

Good luck, Daddy.

Linda, what's a diplodocus?

A...

I haven't got the slightest idea, Andy.

I bet Ellie would know.

Hello. Andy, are you all right?

Oh, sure, but I want to ask you...

Where's your father?

I don't know, he just went out and left us. But I want to ask...

Left you? But didn't he say where he was going or when he was coming back?

Nope, he just said goodbye and took all his money with him.

Now, Andy, where are you?

Yes, I want to know the name of the ranch.

Did you say Lazy Z?

Hey, bartender, give me a whiskey straight,

and keep pouring till this here runs out. Yes, sir.

Are you going to drink all of this?

Yep.

My, that's a terrible waste.

Yeah, I wanna forget.

Oh.

A woman.

Nope, a gusher.

Four of them came in today in my north forty. Got the corn all greasy.

Worse than that, the prices of steers shot up.

And to top it off, the government decided to pay me

$5,000 an acre not to grow wheat.

And with 10,000 acres, you know what that does to me, gal?

I know what it does to me.

Boy, it puts me in the 104% bracket.

The only way I can break even is to go broke.

What do you say, little filly,

you wanna help a poor cowhand head 'em off at the pass?

Poor cowhand! I bet you own Texas.

Who snitched?

Well, here's branding you where your saddle won't rub, ma'am.

Where you from, gal?

Oh, just anyplace, that's where I'm from.

You here alone?

Well, yes, and no.

That's what I like, a straight answer. What do they call you, gal?

You don't have to call, I'm already here.

Yeah, for a minute, I thought they turned off the cooling system.

You gonna be good now, Golda?

Is that a question or a proposition?

I mean, you're not going to try to help Dimsdale again, are you?

I can't honestly say.

Why not?

Well, if I do, you'll slap those handcuffs on me.

Thanks for telling the truth, Golda. That exactly what I'm gonna do.

Stop that!

All right, quit trying to struggle, will you? What, not again!

Just behave yourself. Not again!

Don't do this to me.

You got a grip like a used car dealer.

Just relax, will you. Just be good, huh? I gotcha, haven't I?

Ah, good.

I wish you...

So it shouldn't be a total loss, kiss me.

All right, keep right on joking, honey,

but I got the key in my right rear pocket, so the laugh's on you.

Have another laugh on me. Cut it out, will you...

Cut it out, will you, Golda. Cut it out, Golda. Come on, Golda.

Imagine! They couldn't even wait until they checked in.

Disgraceful.

Oh, yes. You go through those doors, across the court and around the pool.

It's bungalow 27. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Okay. Just so you don't remind me of them cotton-picking uranium mines.

Uranium?

Well, we're not sure, all we know is the lizards light up at night.

Well, let's not talk about me. What's your room number, honey?

Well, it's right in here on the key. I have all sorts of trouble with numbers.

Yeah. Me, too.

Oops.

Whoops, I got you.

Oh, you sure have.

Henry!

Ellie!

So this is what you abandoned your children for.

This is suddenly why I have to leave town.

Ellie! I know you're wondering what's this all about.

I know what it's all about, I read Cosmopolitan.

I just never thought it would happen to me.

Ellie.

Let her go, Uranium, honey. I mean, Henry, honey.

Now, there's still time to go upstairs to my place and have that little drinkie.

Yeah, thanks, but I just had a straight shot of romance on the rocks.

Oh, honey! Now, I have seen her type a hundred times

and if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a party pooper.

Now you come on upstairs to my place, and we'll drown your sorrows together.

Course, a couple more drownings, and my head will start to swim.

And then I'll be telling you the story of my life.

Yeah, but...

You will? Come to think of it, that's not a bad idea.

A little of that 100-proof blabber juice.

Oh, honey.

There're a lot more things to do at my place than just talking.

Yeah. Listening.

You there, cowboy, come here. Raise your right hand.

I hereby deputize you a member of the Altadena, California, Police.

Now, if you'd be kind enough to reach in my right rear pocket,

you'll find a small key. Easy.

Thank you, you're relieved of duty.

Golda!

Henry! Henry Dimsdale, are you here? The heat's here.

Henry! I'm sorry. They followed me.

I'm so sorry they followed me.

Hey, what's with you and my husband?

Dimsdale, huh? Okay!

Sorry.

Obviously, you're not Dimsdale.

I made a terrible mistake. Madam.

Incidentally, while you're here on the ranch, stay off the Shetland ponies.

Golda! Golda!

Henry Dimsdale! Henry! Mr. Dimsdale! Henry! Henry Dimsdale!

You know, you're right. A person should never get caught.

Who's trying to catch you, anyway?

Federal Bureau of Investi...

Investi...

The FBI.

Oh.

♪ Who's afraid of the FBI? The FBI, the FBI ♪

Me. But I have a very clever scheme.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm gonna trap you into admitting

that Mr. Pomeroy stole the money from the bank.

I'm gonna get you to talk.

Me?

No, not you.

You!

Say. That is a clever scheme!

How you gonna do it?

By getting you drunk.

I never get drunk.

Okay. Let's drink to you not getting drunk.

Now, how'd she do that?

What happened?

I don't know. I just got here.

You'll be all right. Just hang on to the floor.

You expecting company?

No.

Who goes there?

Open up. It's Bunny Toes.

It's Bunny Toes. You've got to get out of here, it's Bunny Toes!

Bunny toes? I'm not afraid of bunny toes,

even if the whole bunny's attached to them.

But that's Bunny Toes!

Well, throw him some carrots and maybe he'll go away.

No, don't argue. You've got to get out of here.

Very well, I'll just...

Not that way, no, not that way.

That way, that way, that way.

Monica.

Just a minute. I'm trying to throw something out. On!

But this is the window.

Just stand on the ledge and grab a vine.

A ledge for Bunny Toes?

Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise.

How do you like that! It's fogged in over the entire West Coast.

The flight's been canceled. Looks like I'll have to stay over.

Say, Monica's had a little drinkie.

Well, it's so lonesome without my Bunny Toes.

Well, you stay right there with your happy little buzz till Bunny Toes catches up.

It's my new western tango skirt.

Do you like it? Yippee-I-Oh. Cha-cha-cha.

Mmm-hmm!

Aren't the sleeves a little long?

Bunny Toes!

Monica, where is he?

Bunny Toes! What are you accusing me of?

Where is he, Monica?

Bunny Toes!

Get down!

Me Tarzan, you Jane.

Don't you lie to me. There was a man in here.

I admit there was a man's jacket in here.

But that is no reason to be upset.

No reason? After I put everything I've got on the line?

Honey. I've put everything I've got on the line, too.

Yes, well, I was the one who juggled the books to the tune of $50,000

to keep you in diamonds and dude ranches. And now you do this to me.

Where are you going?

Back to my wife.

I can't stand her, but at least she's loyal.

Hmm!

You just can't trust a married man.

You can come in now, sweetie.

I'll need a crowbar to get my fingers loose.

Send those to 203.

Mr. Dimsdale!

Golda, don't you warn that clown!

Follow that cart! Come on!

Whoa!

Stop! In the name of the law!

Stop! Whoa! Where're you going?

Hey, you. No pets allowed in here!

Boy, they sure built this place close to the highway.

Golda!

Hold it there! Whoa!

That's a capital offense, striking an officer of the law.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Stop! Whoa!

All right, park somewhere, will you?

Whoa!

Get off that horse, Dimsdale!

You're not helping me, Golda.

Whoa!

Golda. Golda.

Get out of the way!

Help! Help!

Now Indian have mobile home.

Fore!

Well at least they're getting smaller.

Help!

Hang on, Mr. Dimsdale.

That, I thought of myself.

Put it into reverse. Whoa!

Stop, Dimsdale.

How about that? I'm whiter than white.

Give it up, Golda. He's no good.

What am I doing up here in the crow's-nest?

Nobody fools with Jasper Lynch.

Mr. Dimsdale, I can't see.

We're flying blind.

Stop in the name of the law!

Jasper, I tell you, he's innocent. He's innocent, Jasper.

Come on, Dimsdale. Come on.

There, there. Stop crying.

Your father's going to be all right.

After all, we know he's innocent.

But nobody else does.

There. Now, be a good boy and sit down.

Here's, Mr. Duncan... Mr. Dimsdale's coat, ma'am.

It was left in suite 22.

Thank you. Hang on a minute.

What's that? My tape recorder.

What was it doing in there?

We planted it on Dad before he went out.

We wanted to hear what was going on.

You mean, you spied on your father?

I guess so.

We figured maybe we could help out, sort of.

Well, all right.

But I'm going to erase every syllable off this tape.

Then I won't say any more about it.

I admit there was a man's jacket in here,

but that is no reason to get upset.

You pushed the wrong button, Ellie, this is... Listen.

Yes, well, I was the one who juggled the books to the tune of $50,000

to keep you in diamonds and dude ranches. And now you do this to me.

Come on!

And do you, Henry Dimsdale,

take this woman to have and to hold, as long as you both shall live?

We do!

Me too.

And do you, Jasper Lynch, take this...

This... Woman.

To have and to hold, as long as you both shall live?

He certainly does.

Please, Mother, I'd rather handle this myself.

But, Jasper, you know how you need help with these things.

I'm just trying to do my duty as a mother.

What time do you go off duty?

I now pronounce you husbands and wives.

I want a kiss!

Hi, Mom! Come on, Daddy!

Hey, wait a minute, I got to get a picture of this.

I'll get the camera. It's in the car.

Where are we going on our honeymoon?

Niagara Falls sounds exciting.

Yeah, and I'll bring the barrel.

- Alaska. - Miami.

No, let's go to Hawaii.

No, South America.

Don't you want to go anywhere?

I already went.

Come on, let's get ready for the photograph.

Anything wrong?

No, but did we just have a close call.