Original subtitles

We should do a rota. So that someone's always here.

I'll go first. Just make sure I'm back by three.

I've got to take Rita to the park to do a shit.

My dad's dog.

Well, if you're staying I'm staying.

Maybe I should stay.

We can't all stay. What sort of rota's that?

Guys… It's OK. I'll do it.

You go get some rest.

What's going on?

What's happened?

So why were all of you in the car together?

Where were you going?

Rae?

We were going to yours.

Why?

The party.

What party?

The flat-warming party.

No, we discussed that?

I said it wasn't happening.

Well, I said that it was.

I wanted to talk.

I needed to see you, and I couldn't do it on my own.

Let's talk.

I can't.

Don't you get it, Finn? She's in here because of me.

No, she's not in here because of you, Rae!

You must be knackered, you go home and I'll wait here, alright.

I'll have Karim stick the kettle on.

That's if he can be bothered to get off his backside.

Ever since the council threatened to cut jobs in traffic control,

he's barely moved a muscle.

Even in bed.

That's not normal, Rae. Not with a Bedouin.

They're meant to spend half the night between your thighs.

Oh, come on, love, Chloe is going to be OK.

Bloody typical. He's done nothing for Monday. For the big 45.

The what?

It's my birthday, Rae. Forty-five.

Yeah, I know it's your birthday. But why are you saying it like that?

- Like what? - Like it's a well-known thing.

It's a milestone, Rae.

No, it isn't. It's halfway between two milestones.

Well, whatever it is, it's slipped his mind.

That's the point.

Even your father used to sing

happy birthday to me, once in a while.

Right, you go on upstairs. I'll be up in a minute.

Dear diary, To be in a car crash you first have to be in a car.

And the gang being in that car: that was down to me.

Chloe being in hospital: that was down to me.

My weakness causes damage.

Finn called. He said to call him back on his home phone.

I found those downstairs.

Have a rest, when you wake up… maybe you can have a look.

I can't…

Look, Chloe, wouldn't want you

to stop with your studies, would she?

"No, Mum, I need to pass my exams so I can still go to Bristol”

Why didn't people tell you when they were coming around?

That way, you wouldn't have to answer the door looking like

Joseph in his technicolor dream coat.

I don't get it… You can't force someone to drive.

I did. Now her parents hate me.

- They won't hate you. - Her mum does.

She looked at me like I was Myra Hindley in a long black wig.

- And what about you? - What do you mean?

Well, the whole of Stamford's worried about Chloe.

But how are you feeling?

I don't think anyone's worried about me, to be honest.

Well, I am. That's why I'm here, stupid.

I need to keep tabs on my new Bristol buddy, remember?

Can I offer you some of advice, Rae?

From someone who's done her fair share of sitting about at home in sexy dressing gowns.

It's OK to feel shit about yourself. For a bit. It's totally understandable.

But it is not fair of her parents to blame you.

You need to get out there and prove they've got you wrong.

You are her best mate, she needs you.

Katie Springer was right. I had to stop sitting around, feeling sorry for myself

and do something to help Chloe.

And that could only begin with a surprise visit

to the Headquarters of The Official Rae Earl Fan Club.

Mr. Gemmell? I…

You better come in, Rae.

Thanks.

- Where's Mrs. Gemmell? - She's still down the hospital.

There's nothing anyone can do.

Well, I think you're wrong, Mr. Gemmell.

I think that there are things we could do,

I could do, to help Chloe.

Like what?

Well, for a start, there's her clothes.

See I know what clothes Chloe likes,

so I could just take them to her. No, wait…

Grapes that's what you take isn't it. Grapes.

Does Chloe even like grapes?

No, she likes raisins and sultanas I think,

but I don't know the difference.

What was I on about?

She likes the ones in the little red box.

So I'll just pick some of them up.

Stop talking about dried fruit!

But the main thing is, Mr. Gemmell, you'll like this…

…textbooks!

I could just go up to Chloe's room and get some text books,

and then I could read them to her,

over and over because some of it might just sink in

before, you know, her last exam and she wakes up.

She's asleep, Rae.

No. I know. But some of it might sink in.

No she won't hear you. She is unconscious.

No, but that's what people do isn't it?

They read and talk to plants and vegetables

and that's what makes them grow.

Vegetables. Classic!

Look… I appreciate what you're trying to do,

but I really don't think it'll do very much for Chloe.

Besides, you've got your A Levels to be thinking about, haven't you so?

That's not important, I don't care.

All the same, my wife… we're both very clear on this…

Clear on what?

That you've probably done enough.

It might be best if you… if you just kept away.

Dear Diary, when life is shit, turn to music.

When life is scrape-it-off-the-walls shit,

turn to Steven Patrick Morrissey.

Because, when it's done to perfection, music speaks to you in a way nothing else can.

Sod, Mr. Gemmell, Chloe needed me.

I could reach her in a different way.

In a better way. A way only I knew how.

Karim…

Rae, tomorrow is your mother birthday.

She thinks I forget. I not forget.

Well done.

I will make for her a nice time. In this house. Tomorrow.

And you, you will make a big cake. Yes?

Uh… well, I can buy big cake.

- For tomorrow? - Yeah.

- After college you go. - Yeah. I will get a cake.

A big cake.

A big cake.

Right now, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

- Study? - Yeah, something like that.

It was time to pull out the big guns.

From the Divine Comedy to DJ Shadow, via Beck and The Boo Radleys,

I had the best back catalogue a girl could wish for.

What followed came from the heart.

The best mix-tape I'd ever made,

for the best mate I'd ever have.

The only way I could say sorry.

All I had to do was deliver it.

Got any Elton John, mate? I am looking for…

What the fuck! It was like seeing a ghost.

A ghost who couldn't be bothered to haunt you half the time.

What's she supposed to play it on?

I can't see how that's going to work.

Well, you just lay the headphones on the pillow then the music just drifts up,

I just wanna help!

Exams start tomorrow, don't they?

Exams aren't important, Mrs. Gemmell. Not anymore.

They might not be important to you, but they were very important to Chloe.

- I know. - She'd been revising.

I know.

And she wanted to revise the night you came around.

I know.

But she's been very lucky. She regained consciousness an hour ago.

And now she's sleeping.

Well, can I see her?

When Chloe wakes up, she's going to find out that her exams, business school,

the things she's been planning, have been thrown upside down.

If the other car had been six inches further over,

six inches, that would of been it!

It would of been fatal!

A cassette tape isn't going to give her back the future she deserves.

Rae? Where've you been?

- What? - Where've you been?

I was at the hospital.

I've been trying to ring you.

Sorry.

- Why are you ignoring me? - Rae? Have you heard yet?

- It's great in it! - It's better than that. It's fucking fantastic.

Rae, just heard, it's amazing.

Um… This is Katie.

Really happy for you all.

So, are we gonna get to see her or what?

Yeah. Her mum said we could go and visit her tomorrow.

So it was just me that wasn't allowed to see her.

This time I am driving.

Yeah, last time Rae organize a lock in.

The Diet Coke's on the house, but the sherry needs covering

as I've had a ticking off from Derek at the distillery.

Rae, Rae are you alright?

Rae, What you doing? Where are you going? Rae?

Why am I even anywhere near a pub?

What's there to be so happy about? I nearly killed her.

You didn't. Rae, please. I'm here Rae can you not see me?

Look lets… Lets spend some time together.

Come over to mine and you can help me shift

that stupid sofa bed up the stairs if you want.

I love you.

I want you back.

I don't deserve it.

- That's bollocks. You know it is. - Is it?

It is. What's happening to you? You're acting mental.

You sound so surprised.

I'm waiting on Kester.

Dr. Gill went home. I'm sorry.

It's Rachel, isn't it?

If you like, Rachel, you can talk to me.

I'll be free in 20 minutes.

I don't know you.

I'm Dr. Allen.

Dr. Gill and I trained together in Roehampton.

It's no trouble.

Rachel, it's OK. Lots of people have more than one therapist.

I don't want more than one therapist.

It can be helpful.

Do I look like I'm finding it helpful?

All I wanted to do was to help Chloe.

But maybe the Gemmell's were right.

Maybe I should do everyone a favor and just stay away.

Rachel…

I'm sorry, I had no idea… Do you work here?

Look, I'm sorry. I mean, I came in to get a CD before.

Um, but I had go get some money.

Uh, which CD?

It was Elton John.

It's $9.99.

I don't know why I said what I said next.

It wasn't because he was my Dad.

Maybe it was because he was the only person left to talk to.

Or maybe it was just because he looked as shit I felt.

Just put the kettle on.

I'm in what's known as a "studio flat".

You should come over and visit sometime, maybe.

I've got a lot on. Exams.

- GCSE'S? - A Levels.

So you're not living with that women anymore then?

No, no. That's all over. A strange woman.

She refused point blank to have a sense of humor.

I mean that is one thing I will say about your mum, we did have a great laugh.

She mentioned you yesterday.

Did she?

Yeah, she said you used to sing to her on her birthday.

Really? Why?

Yeah, well, it's not like she talks about you on a regular basis or anything.

I don't think I treated your mum very well, Rachel.

And I regret it.

Maybe you should tell her.

I don't think that would go down very well.

You don't realize what it like to have the chance

to say sorry for something bad that you've done.

Rae, I don't think she'd thank me for it.

Yeah, well, it's the right thing to do so…

Rae, please don't. Please…

It's fine. No!

Sorry.

Look, I don't know what to do?

Will you answer me a question?

Do you think the fact that I let people down the whole time

and the fact that I always fuck things up…

Do you think that's something I get from you?

Put it this way. I don't think you get it from your mother.

Thank you.

And I still fuck up. I think that's what happens,

you know, the longer you leave your mistakes,

the harder it is to put them right.

You only get one chance to fix your fuck ups, Rae.

Oh… don't worry. I'll stay out your record shop.

But I will think about what you said about your Mum.

I thought about what my dad said,

you only get one chance to fix things.

I had one night left to revise for sociology,

and I knew what I had to do.

Sociology Paper One is two hours long; the time now is 11:45,

so you have until 1:45. You may turn over your papers.

I had decided I should take my A levels. I should take them for Chloe.

How was it?

Do you know what, Chop? Not too bad.

How come you left the pub like that then?

Should I be worried about you, Raemundo?

Not anymore. But thanks, though.

Look, Here she is.

Stamford's own Cindy Crawford. How was it?

It was alright. What questions did you do?

- The one about population. - What about for the other two?

You were meant to do three questions.

One question, Izzy.

Well, I did three, and Tracy Monroe did three

and everyone else I was talking to in the canteen just now did three.

Did you only do one question Rae?

No!

- Alright. See ya. - See ya.

Oh, fuck.

How did it go?

- Yeah, it was alright. - Yeah, do you want a lift?

It was weird how Katie kept turning up,

but I needed to get away from the scene of the crime.

Yeah.

So… were you just driving past then?

I came to get you, didn't I?

We were worried about you yesterday, in the pub.

We?

Me and Finn. When we saw you leaving.

So I just wanted to check to see if you were OK.

I hope you don't mind.

No, no it's fine…

He's a big softie, isn't he?

I had no idea he was so sensitive.

Well don't you remember him from college?

He never talked to me at college.

No one did. At least, not to my face.

Can you just slow down a bit please?

I am only doing 30, Rae.

Come on, so which questions did you do, in the exam?

Just pull over. You don't have to drive.

- Rae, chill out. - Will you just pull over?

Please, I promise it'll all be OK!

- Rae, we're not there yet! - Just pull the fuck over! Now!

Sorry. I'm not used to these brakes.

Listen, Rae, tell me to mind my own business.

With Finn and stuff. But I just thought you'd want to know.

No, it… it's fine.

Uh, it's open, Einstein.

- See ya. - See ya.

Even Katie couldn't help me un-fuck up two sets of A level's.

I just needed some space away from everyone to figure out

how I was going to sort everything out.

Surprise!

Bollocks.

There were two options.

Either I'd totally forgotten the Big 4-5,

or Michael Aspel was about to appear and say,

"Tonight, Rachel Earl, this is your pathetic excuse for a life".

Surprise!

Hello!

OK, everybody.

Speech!

OK. Um… When a 43-year-old woman

goes to Peterborough Leisure Center

for her weekly Aqua Aerobics Class,

she does not expect to meet a man who'll turn her life upside down.

And he slotted into this family right away, didn't he Rae?

His name was Karim. It still is. And he's lovely.

Because he does things like this.

Without him, I wouldn't be having a happy birthday.

I'd just be having a birthday.

At least, there were still some places on this earth

where good people could have a nice time,

safe from the chaotic influence of Rachel Earl.

Uh, I put baby to nap. Then… party!

Perfect.

Holy cock and balls.

I'll get it.

I'll go, Rae.

Rae.

- Hello, Linda. - What the…

- Get him out of here now. - He wasn't--

Now! I'm telling ya!

Right. You can't be here. You gotta go.

I just came to say happy birthday.

No, you can't. You come in here…

OK, just sit there. No, you have had enough.

OK, so he's going to stay.

Look, no… Look at him, Rae.

Look, this isn't just my day.

Look at all the work he's done!

- I know, Mum-- - No, shut…

♪ What have I got to do to make you love me? ♪

♪ What do I have to do to make you care? ♪

♪ What do I do when lightning strikes me? ♪

♪ And I wake up you're not there? ♪

♪ It's so sad, so sad It's a sad, sad situation ♪

♪ And it's getting more and more absurd ♪

Go.

No.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Alright, alright, don't fight.

I'm going, no need to fight.

Please! No, don't go, Um… Let's have some cake.

Have we got… got any cake?

Since when is it OK to do that, to this family, in this house?

Well, he's my family.

He's not your fucking family. He had his chance.

You knew it was my birthday, Rae.

But I forgot. Because that's what I'm like.

It's how I've always been. I get it from him.

Everything I touch turns to shit, Mum.

But when I try and say sorry, no one lets me.

When I try and put it right, I only make it worse,

the fuck ups, they just keep coming.

But this, Rae… This, today, this was a mistake.

But if you're talking about what happened to Chloe,

if you're blaming yourself for that, then don't.

That's not your fault.

And you don't get anything from him. Yeah?

So… what are you gonna to do now?

I want to see Kester.

I like parking here because this is the ugliest building in Stamford,

so when you're in it you can't see it.

My shifts have changed. So I don't work weekends anymore.

They should have sent you a letter. I'm sorry they didn't.

The accident was my fault.

If you think it's your fault, why are you calling it an accident?

Did I ever tell you that when I was 17,

when all this was in black and white,

I got asked to train, to try out, for Wrexham Football Club?

My team. Did I ever tell you that?

I thought you weren't allowed to tell me anything from your life.

And even though I knew, deep down inside that I wasn't good enough,

I mean, I wasn't even the best footballer in my school, I still went.

I stood there in line with all the other lads. In our tracksuits and our hair.

Three days running around in the pissing rain,

and I barely got a touch of the ball.

Complete and utter disaster.

Well, it's not the best story I've heard.

But if I'd never of gone I'd never had known,

and that would of being torture.

Just because I didn't deserve a place,

didn't mean I didn't deserve a chance.

Someone saw something in me, just like someone,

some stuffy professor, saw something in you.

But this is where we differ, you see. You and me.

Because you are good enough and you can do it.

But you have to take your chance. You owe yourself that.

Two more sessions.

That wasn't a session, that was a story.

It was a story session.

I can't think about Bristol, Kester. I need to see Chloe.

I need to say sorry, but her family won't let me.

Come on. Come on!

Since when have you let other people stop you from doing what you want?

Are you OK, babe?

They say I'll be out by the end of the week.

They must know about the Leaver's Ball.

Oh, I've messed everything up, Clo.

It's like the crash was just the start of it.

Well you, you know why we crashed, don't you?

Because I made you drive.

It's because you saw my hand.

It's because we're friends.

That's what did it.

If I hadn't have kept looking down…

If I hadn't been worried about seeing this…

…then I'd have been looking where I was going, wouldn't I?

And I'd have seen that car.

I've got your back, babe.

Have you been giving yourself a hard time?

It's OK. Katie said it's alright to feel shit about yourself.

I'm not sure how I feel about that Katie Springer.

She's wrong anyway.

Alright, you've got no reason to feel shit, so just…

Just carry on with what you are doing.

Doing what, Clo?

I'm not gonna take my exams if you can't.

I'm not going through all this, for us both to miss out on our exams.

You're the only one that can do them anyway.

Well, that's not true.

I was joking. Kind of.

Promise me you'll be brilliant at them.

Rachel… I don't want to make a scene.

Then don't.

- I should go anyway. - Will you please do me a favor?

Uh… OK.

Will you bring me some chocolate?

I've got your back.

Promise me you won't hurt yourself again.

I promise.

Chloe had been the one in the car crash,

but it was me that she pulled from the wreckage.

She made it OK to think about the future again.

I decided to own up about Chloe's exam paper.

But I had no idea just how pissed off mum would actually be when I told her.

Don't start.

Don't you start with "don't start"!

How was it ever going to work, Rae?

It wasn't.

I'll have to inform the exam board.

I've got no alternative.

They'll probably stop you from taking any more of their papers.

Well, can I take other papers? From other boards?

Not at this college, no.

It's not Rae's fault.

Things have been difficult at home recently.

My ex-husband has been round causing trouble, and my current husband,

who's a lollipop man, has been told he's going to be losing his job.

The council want to replace him with a Pelican Crossing.

So, what with the crash and all the pressure

I've been putting on her to do her revision,

things have been a sort of hell at home for Rae, these last few days.

She would be the first person

ever in our family to go to university. Ever.

She deserves that, you know she does.

Uh, there is a thing called "special circumstances."

If I can talk to your therapist today,

then perhaps we can make a case for a retake.

But you'll have to take it now, before your English paper.

There's a 24-hour rule.

And there it was. The Great Escape.

Steve McQueen had his motorbike,

Rachel Earl had a middle-aged white woman in a Hijab.

You were incredible.

No. You were stupid. Stupid.

Don't let yourself down, do you understand?

There's people counting on you.

Sociology paper one is two hours long. Giving you until noon.

You may turn your paper over.

Dear Diary,

There is something about taking an exam

that feels less pressured than normal life.

I think it's because, no one who reads this paper

will ever know who I am or what I've been through.

All they will know is my name.

Every word I wrote on the page was like taking a step back from the edge.

My future is mine for the taking. My future belongs to me.

- I just wanna talk. - Rae, what--

- If you'll let me. - Rae, what… What do you mean?

Finn, I'm sorry I pushed you away.

- Right. OK… - See I'm getting better, I promise.

- I'm sorting my head out. - I know, I--

Look, Finn. I don't care if we are together,

long term or short term or officially.

Rae, I think we should--

I don't care because I need you, Finn Nelson.

And you need me.

We need to sit down and talk alright.

Talk about what?

About… you keep changing your mind about things.

Yeah, I know, but… I'm not gonna do that anymore.

I'm not, I promise, let's just say that…

I'm your new flat-mate.

Because you know what happens when you have a boy flatmate

and a girl flatmate, don't yeah?

You get a flatmates-with-benefits scenario.

- Rae, I know, I know… - Yeah?

Just old on a sec, no, no, no Rae, please.

Come on, no, Finn, move out the way.

Please, please. No, stay…

Rae…

Move, Finn.

No, Rae, Rae…

What? What, Finn?!

Can I help you, love?

Yeah. Um…

Um… I…

- I want to see Kes… Kester… - Kester?

Kester Gill. Yeah.

Kester Gill doesn't work here any more.

He hasn't worked here since April.

- What? - No.

Can you check again?

No, I don't need to check, he doesn't work here.

Can you check again, please?

He hasn't worked here since April!

Right, I'll go and get him then.

No. No, you won't.

- Come on. - Kester?

No, no he's not down there.

Kester?

That's enough now you need to go.

- Why are you doing this? - I'm not doing anything.

You're just a liar, you're a liar!

Come on, you're alright.

English Literature paper B is three hours long.

The time now is two o'clock precisely, meaning,

for those of you who don't do maths, you have until five.

You may turn your papers over.