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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:14,440 Un-shitting-believable. 2 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:44,560 I'm Dr. Khan's replacement, Dr. Gill. 3 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,200 You can call me Kester. 4 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,640 - Is it Rachel? - Rae. 5 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:58,680 I told Dr. Khan to ask you to start keeping a diary. 6 00:00:58,680 --> 00:01:00,960 Well, you can't read it. Because Dr. Khan-- 7 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,160 I don't want to read it. It's private. It's for you. 8 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,600 Are you always this quiet? 9 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,840 You know there's a theory that you can discern 10 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:26,280 the majority of a person's characteristics in the first five seconds of meeting them. 11 00:01:26,280 --> 00:01:28,320 What do your instincts say about me? 12 00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,640 My instincts say that a bird took a dump on your head. 13 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:38,360 So… you survived the first week. 14 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,800 Still in one piece, I see. 15 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,400 What've you been up to? 16 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:45,240 Look, with Dr. Khan we'd just talk-- 17 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:47,240 I'm not Dr. Khan. 18 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:53,520 So… What've you been up to this week? 19 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,640 Not much. 20 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:08,400 Big lie. This week, has in fact been pretty momentous. 21 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:12,920 Wednesday, the 10th of July 1996. 22 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,280 Day one: Freedom. 23 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:21,960 Dear Diary, I'm 16, I weigh 16 and a half stone, 24 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,920 and I live in Lincolnshire. 25 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:28,920 My interests include music, veging out and finding a fit boy. 26 00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:34,800 No, scratch that… any boy to quench my ever growing horn. 27 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:40,720 Unfortunately, I already have a lover that makes me look pregnant… food! 28 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:44,920 But there is a difference between snacking and binging. 29 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,280 And I don't binge anymore! 30 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,000 And if anyone ever finds this diary… 31 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,280 …and reads it and comes to the conclusion that I'm crazy… 32 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:01,040 …they'd be spot on. 33 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,520 Go away. I'm not speaking to you. 34 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,960 - Why not? - You're abandoning me 35 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,400 and leaving me here with all the mentals. 36 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,080 I'll be back for my sessions all the time. 37 00:03:50,080 --> 00:03:51,400 You won't be back. 38 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,880 You'll be off going to loads of parties. 39 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:55,280 Boy parties. 40 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:57,840 Tix, we both know 41 00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:02,840 that there are zero cool people in Lincolnshire. 42 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:05,840 Tissue please, Skinny. 43 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,160 You get a new toothbrush? 44 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:24,040 I'm going to miss you. 45 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:27,400 Poor lovely messed up Tixy. 46 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,920 Here! 47 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,960 Go. 48 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:50,920 Hi, Rae. 49 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:53,360 Hi. 50 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:58,600 Dr. Nick Kassar, expert moistener of lady gardens. 51 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:00,520 I want to eat his face. 52 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,400 It's um… it's good for the skin. 53 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:07,400 Yeah, I know, yeah. I drink two liters a day. 54 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,720 Problem is, it makes you go to the loo every half hour. 55 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,160 I'm getting picked up in 20 minutes. 56 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,680 - That's a shame. - Why's that? 57 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,520 Because I never got the chance to do a sex on you. 58 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,840 Rae… 59 00:05:25,840 --> 00:05:27,080 Yeah? 60 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,760 Don't get up to any mischief. 61 00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:37,000 Well… don't go changing. You keep drinking that water. 62 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,200 Oh, God. Why do I always say such twatish things? 63 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,440 Four months locked away. 64 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,000 Four months convincing people my finger 65 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,840 is no longer on the self-destruct button. 66 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,600 Finally, I was leaving. 67 00:05:56,240 --> 00:06:00,080 Finally, I was free. 68 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:21,880 I'm not ready? 69 00:06:21,880 --> 00:06:24,560 - Where are you? - Outside. 70 00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:28,640 I'm freaking out. I'm having a freak out! 71 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,080 Just count to ten. 72 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,120 I don't think I'm strong enough to make it on my own. 73 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,480 You're not on your own. 74 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,240 You've got your mum and all your friends. 75 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,360 My mum's a nightmare! And I haven't got any friends. 76 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:40,800 You're my friend. 77 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,040 The pips are going. What if something really bad happens? 78 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,120 What if I have a proper freak out? What then? 79 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,480 - Just count to ten. - Yeah, but… 80 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,360 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 81 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,440 Look, I'm sorry I was late. It was only by ten minutes. 82 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:32,800 - Forty minutes. - Give over with your 40 minutes. 83 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,240 You talk more random than duck's shite sometimes. 84 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,040 Do you want one? 85 00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,600 When have I ever smoked? 86 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,080 You might of started. 87 00:07:50,760 --> 00:07:54,040 There's some Blue Ribands in the glove box. 88 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:06,560 No, no I can't, love. I'm on the alphabet diet. 89 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,640 The what? 90 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,240 Each week you only eat food 91 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:10,720 beginning with a certain letter. 92 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:14,400 Makes you rotate all your food types. This week it's W. 93 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,560 So you've nearly done the entire alphabet? 94 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:20,200 Nah, I started on S because I'd bought a load of scotch eggs on the cheap. 95 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,520 I've lost six pounds though. 96 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:24,960 That's what… just over a month? 97 00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,160 Month and a bit? 98 00:08:27,160 --> 00:08:29,280 A Blue Riband's got wafer in it. 99 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,440 Wafer begins with a W. 100 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:18,680 Oh, no! 101 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,000 - Rae? - Who's that? 102 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,720 - Chloe. - Rae! Oh, my God! 103 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,160 Chloe! Blood and stomach pills, she's blossomed. 104 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,640 Look at her chest. 105 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,040 Please don't embarrass me. 106 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:41,800 Oh, get over yourself. 107 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,480 And don't be long, we're in a rush. 108 00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,400 Oh, my God! Come here. 109 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,000 Why didn't you tell me you were back?! How was France? 110 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,680 France? 111 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,040 Yeah. It was great! 112 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,680 It was really nice. 113 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,480 I can't believe you've been gone three months. 114 00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,960 Four months. 115 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,960 Well… I'm glad you're back anyway. So… 116 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,600 Thanks. 117 00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:12,040 - I should go. - Oh, no, no, no. 118 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,960 Listen, listen, you've got to come to the pub tonight with me and the gang. 119 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,160 I started hanging around with the sixth formers 120 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,560 and Wellesley Park, babes. 121 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:23,040 The guys are fit as, right? 122 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,600 And they're all single… 123 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:28,840 So please say you'll come, sweets, please? 124 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,880 Yes, please. 125 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,840 - Yeah? - I mean… Yeah. 126 00:10:43,160 --> 00:10:47,120 I'm a bit busy, but it'd be cool to hang out with you. 127 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,320 - In France, all I did was hang. - Definitely. 128 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,160 I'd probably get withdrawal symptoms if I stopped hanging. 129 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:55,760 Yeah… 130 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,160 Rae! 131 00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,800 I'll see you later then. 132 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,080 France?! 133 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,280 I had to say something. You told me not to tell anyone. 134 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,400 France? 135 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,280 Why didn't you just say I had glandular fever or something? 136 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:32,240 Welcome to the house of pain. 137 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:36,240 Barely enough room for one person, let alone me and her. 138 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:39,840 I'm not even in and I wanna get out. 139 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,920 Come on, Rachel. I've got something to show you. 140 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:48,080 What? 141 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:05,520 Rae, this is Karim, my lover. 142 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:07,800 Isn't he something? 143 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,880 Say, hello. Say, hello! Say, hello! 144 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,440 Pleased for meet you. 145 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:19,000 Why were you in the boot? 146 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,480 No… He can't speak much English. 147 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,800 He speaks Arabic and French. 148 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,120 That's what they speak in Tunisia. 149 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,520 Uh… Help. 150 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,200 Right, who'd like a sticky waffle? 151 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,520 Why was he in the chuffing boot?! 152 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:39,560 Look… Look, he hasn't done anything wrong, 153 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:41,320 but there are people looking for him. 154 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,880 - What people? - Immigration. 155 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:47,000 He's not allowed to be here. Not just yet. Not just for now. 156 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:53,040 He ran away from this holding place and… we fell in love. 157 00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:58,960 Now, no one can know about this, not just for now. Is that OK, Rachel? 158 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,120 Karim, put me down you bloody beast! 159 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,960 There is a difference between snacking and binging. 160 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:13,080 And I don't binge anymore! 161 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,120 Ever feel like you're returning to the scene of a crime? 162 00:14:06,680 --> 00:14:09,360 Oh, Damon… I love you but I've got to 163 00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:12,120 get out of this house and meet some real boys. 164 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:23,240 Look, before you meet everyone, just try and be cool. Yeah? 165 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:25,120 I'll try and get you in with them, 166 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,320 but they're a pretty exclusive bunch. 167 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:31,960 So… just don't be upset if it doesn't happen. OK? 168 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:33,080 - Yeah. - You ready? 169 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,640 - Yeah. - Come on. 170 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:36,120 Izzy! 171 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,560 Being in a pub is weird 172 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,040 when eight hours earlier you were in a mental ward. 173 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:45,240 I felt like a criminal. Like a renegade. 174 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:49,240 Like it was so obvious I wasn't meant to be there. 175 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,120 Sorry, lover. 176 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,840 I felt alive. 177 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,840 - Everyone, this is Rae. - You all right? 178 00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:57,240 - Hi-ya. - Hi. 179 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,720 Do you want a drink? Because Chop can get served. 180 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,320 No, it's all right, I don't drink. 181 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:02,880 - Really? - Yeah. 182 00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:05,080 Where's Archie? 183 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:07,360 I dunno somewhere… 184 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:17,520 What you doing, you Benny? Trying to get us kicked out? 185 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,440 Here… make yourself useful and take a picture 186 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,560 of the biggest pythons in sports entertainment. 187 00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,800 What, these ones here? 188 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:25,800 Them ones or them ones? 189 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,360 - Here, let me have a go. - Hey, Archie, get up here. 190 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,240 Go on, lad! 191 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:39,920 Cheers. 192 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,680 All right, this is a little hit that came out a few months back. 193 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,600 ♪ Well, I tried to tell you so ♪ 194 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,120 ♪ But I guess you didn't know 195 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,560 ♪ As the saddest story goes 196 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,960 ♪ Baby, now I got the flow 197 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:59,400 ♪ 'Cause I knew it from the start ♪ 198 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,200 ♪ Baby, when you broke my heart ♪ 199 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:04,800 ♪ That I had to come again 200 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:07,400 ♪ And show you that I'm real 201 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,440 ♪ You lied to me 202 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,440 ♪ All those times I said that I loved you ♪ 203 00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,680 ♪ You lied to me 204 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:17,640 ♪ And I tried, yes, I tried 205 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:19,280 ♪ Return of the Mack ♪ 206 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:24,240 Two words: Gushington Central. 207 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:30,240 So this is what I've worked out so far about the gang: 208 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:34,160 There's Chloe, who's like my oldest friend. 209 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,200 We kind of grew apart over the last year. 210 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:39,440 I guess I kinda had my own stuff going on. 211 00:16:39,440 --> 00:16:43,560 Like wondering why my best friend was growing apart from me, 212 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:48,240 like wondering why I was having a secret mental breakdown. 213 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:51,880 But, whatever, it's complicated, I guess. 214 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,920 There's no toppling on this! 215 00:16:53,920 --> 00:16:56,400 You've opened the box upside down, you div. 216 00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,760 Then there's Izzy. She's so cute. 217 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,000 I've only known her for two hours, but I can't imagine 218 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:07,680 she'd ever had a negative thought about anything. 219 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:10,360 You two are so like a married couple sometimes. 220 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,520 Oh, gross! That'd be like marrying my sister. 221 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,600 Yeah! So gross! 222 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,520 There's three boys: 223 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,280 Chop: Rating, slice. 224 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:23,360 He doesn't even go to school. 225 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,880 Chloe says he works down at some garage 226 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,120 fixing cars or something. 227 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,920 I don't care what you say, 228 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,440 Jennifer Aniston is fitter than Pammy. 229 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:34,320 And there's only one woman that's fitter than them both. 230 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,880 - Bollocks. Who? - Your mum. 231 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:41,400 No, no… 232 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:43,400 Finn's a bit of a grumpy sod, 233 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,640 he's such an epic slice but he massively knows it. 234 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,120 And finally… Archie. 235 00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:02,400 Ultimate slice. Half geek, half rock God. 236 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,800 So hot he'd make a priest kick a hole 237 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,080 in a stained glass window. 238 00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:11,560 I want to do 14,000 romances on him. 239 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,240 I couldn't believe it. 240 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,040 There were cool people in Lincolnshire. 241 00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,800 This was it. 242 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,400 This was my chance. 243 00:19:06,440 --> 00:19:09,520 Oh, everyone. Announcement right! 244 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,040 Party at mine on Saturday to celebrate Izzy's birthday. 245 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,920 And all I had to do was just be normal. 246 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:20,200 Take the picture! 247 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,520 Here you are… 248 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,840 Rae, it's ready. 249 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,240 Yeah, take a picture of us will you? 250 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,680 Let me see it. 251 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:42,920 Chop, your guns nearly don't fit in that picture. 252 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,560 I've decided… 253 00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:11,320 There are three ways Archie is going to go out with me. 254 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:15,400 One: If he's secretly got a thing for big women, 255 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,720 like Lenny Henry has for Dawn French. 256 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:22,480 Two: Apocalyptic catastrophe takes out all other women on earth, 257 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,600 and therefore my humps become a precious commodity. 258 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:29,800 Three: I feed him biscuits until he's fat, too. 259 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:42,480 If this goes in the bin, Archie will definitely sleep with me. 260 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,000 I had to see you. 261 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,440 What are you doing here? 262 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,360 Let's not talk. 263 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:32,200 Yes! 264 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:36,200 Kiss my neck, Archie. 265 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,240 - Please, for me. - What? 266 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:39,640 Please, I beg you. 267 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,440 Why are you talking like that? 268 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,880 Please… 269 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,200 What? 270 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,840 Do you have any idea what time it is? 271 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,440 It's quarter to five. 272 00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:17,880 It's quarter to five… and I'm awake. 273 00:22:18,840 --> 00:22:20,440 What do you want, 274 00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:21,680 a chufty badge and a round of applause? 275 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,400 I want to be able to go to sleep knowing that I'm not going to be 276 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:29,280 woken up by the sound of you getting your bones jumped. 277 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:30,720 I beg your pardon. 278 00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:33,920 Just… stop having sex at top volume, yeah? 279 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,560 I didn't know we were being loud. 280 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,720 There's people in Peterborough that probably think 281 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,320 the world's coming to an end. 282 00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:40,400 Oh, come on, Rachel. 283 00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,520 You talk more random than duck's shite sometimes. 284 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,440 Will you just stop saying that. It's just stupid! 285 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,640 You watch your tone with me, young lady. 286 00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:53,000 You remember who you're talking to. 287 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,080 Do you know what… 288 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,520 And then I said it. 289 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,480 The worst thing I've ever said to my mum. 290 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,320 And, as I'm feeling mega guilty anyway, 291 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:05,400 we might as well do the top three. 292 00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,400 Mum? Why is your bum bigger than all the other mum's bums? 293 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,960 Rachel Earl! 294 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:15,600 Come. 295 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,480 I wanted a Kylie one. 296 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,400 Well, maybe we couldn't afford a Kylie one. 297 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:25,840 Well, maybe if you hadn't made Dad leave we'd be able to get nice things. 298 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:28,920 Rachel Earl! 299 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,880 Its no wonder I went mental is it? 300 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:43,120 When I've got the biggest screw up in the history of screw-ups for a parent. 301 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:50,360 Go on, say it, "Rachel Earl"! 302 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:10,080 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. 303 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:21,920 Thursday the 11th of July 1996. Day two. 304 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,760 No one's called. 305 00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:28,440 I loved Thursdays in the hospital. 306 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,760 In the mornings, me and Tix would catch up 307 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,720 on the charts and have toast. 308 00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:34,800 And in the afternoon we'd have group 309 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,160 and then go out to the lake with Danny Two Hats 310 00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:40,280 and play ten questions. 311 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,960 But now there's a new gang I suppose… 312 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:46,600 …but why haven't they called? 313 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:49,760 Have I fucked it up already? 314 00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:14,800 Rae! What you doing here? 315 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,600 I was just passing and thought I'd nip in. 316 00:25:17,600 --> 00:25:19,640 Do you know what, I would have rang to say 317 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,960 we were all coming down but it was kind of a spontaneous thing. 318 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,840 You know how it is? 319 00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:28,880 This music's doing my head in. 320 00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:31,400 Archie, put something decent on that jukebox, will you? 321 00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:36,160 Music, my turf. Go big or go home! 322 00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:37,560 I'll do it. 323 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:40,440 Nah, I want Archie to do it. He knows his music. 324 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,640 - I know my music. - Look, May… 325 00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:43,960 - It's Rae. - As in Raymond? 326 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,720 - As in Rachel. - Whatever, Rae… 327 00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,440 It's my 20 p and I want Archie to do it, all right. 328 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,360 Look if you don't like what I put on, 329 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,960 I'll give you your 20 p back. 330 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,920 It was time to drop the big guns. 331 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:11,560 And I hereby present my case for gang membership, spin on that Finn! 332 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:15,640 Whoo! 333 00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,800 Tune! 334 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:20,800 Nice one! 335 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:24,120 Yeah, it's not bad for mainstream. 336 00:26:24,120 --> 00:26:27,680 I don't think we've been introduced properly, I'm Archie. 337 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,040 Hi, Archie. 338 00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:33,360 I'd shag him until there was nothing left. 339 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:37,840 Just a pair of glasses and a damp patch. 340 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:41,320 Rae! You still coming to my party on Saturday, right? 341 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:42,400 Am I invited? 342 00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,920 Of course you are, you silly moo. 343 00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,680 Tell everyone! 344 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,000 All right, then. All right, listen. 345 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:55,920 As you all know, I am proper excited about moving into my new house. 346 00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:59,720 So I'm delighted to say that my party on Saturday night 347 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:03,440 will be my first ever… pool party! 348 00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,840 Whoo! 349 00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:08,000 Pool party? Get in there! 350 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:13,040 - Whoo! - Are you kidding me? 351 00:27:13,040 --> 00:27:15,520 - Who wants a snake bite? - Yeah, I do. 352 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,240 Go on you can do it. 353 00:27:27,360 --> 00:27:31,600 I am never drinking again. 354 00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,720 Friday the 12th July. Day three. 355 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:38,800 My first hangover. 356 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:43,400 I felt like an orangutan had been sick on my brain. 357 00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:49,560 The big question is one-piece, bikini or monokini? 358 00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:55,520 Well, where's the makes-you-not-look-like a-massive-bloater-kini? 359 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,680 - What? - Nothing. 360 00:27:58,680 --> 00:28:01,040 Well, come on, try them on then. 361 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:06,200 There was a time… 362 00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:11,440 …when I refused to wear anything other than a swimsuit. 363 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:13,960 Will you help me get a pasty, please? 364 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,000 You shouldn't eat too many of these. You'll get fat. 365 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,360 I don't care if I get fat. They taste nice. 366 00:28:21,360 --> 00:28:23,440 But if you get fat you won't be able 367 00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,440 to wear a swimsuit and boys won't like you. 368 00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:27,800 I don't like boys. 369 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,160 And even if I did like boys and I was fat 370 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,760 and I wore a swimsuit, they'd like me anyway. 371 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:36,080 - How would they like you? - Because I'm brilliant. 372 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,280 Rae! 373 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:45,000 There's no fucking way anyone's gonna see me in this! 374 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,120 - What are you doing? - Burning one. 375 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:00,800 - But you don't smoke. - I started yesterday. 376 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,800 You know it keeps you thin. 377 00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:08,800 We are evacuating the store. 378 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,320 We really need to get out of the store! 379 00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:12,400 If you need to cover yourself up with this, then do so! 380 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,840 - What? - Excuse me, please. 381 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:17,160 Let's just go, thank you. 382 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,960 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry, Rae. 383 00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:27,360 Just ignore them, Rae! 384 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,040 Oy, Jabba? 385 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:37,680 Do you want this burger? I've lost my appetite. 386 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:39,600 - Rae? - Jabba. Jabba. Jabba. 387 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:41,120 - Oh, God, no. - What's going on? 388 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,560 - Jabba. Jabba. Jabba. - What's going on? 389 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:46,160 - Just ignore them, Rae. - What's going on? 390 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,080 One… two… 391 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,120 …three… 392 00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:22,200 …four… five… 393 00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:26,200 …six… seven… 394 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,840 …eight… nine… 395 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:47,640 I'm back. 396 00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:52,640 I lasted what? Two days? 397 00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:58,680 Something happened that was so embarrassing. 398 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:04,320 My skin feels itchy with it. 399 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:11,600 I hate that people would have gone home and talked about it, 400 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:17,560 like it was a joke over their Yorkshire puddings or something. 401 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,560 It's too much out there. 402 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:31,120 I don't even know how to explain it. 403 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:39,360 It smashes up all of your senses. 404 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,840 I'm not strong enough to deal with it all on my own. 405 00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:58,680 Tissue, please, Fatty. 406 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:19,200 What you doing here? 407 00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,880 I've um… I've got some good news. 408 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,640 - What? - I've decided to come back. 409 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:31,520 I just don't think I'm ready. 410 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:44,840 What you doing?! 411 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:48,280 Stop it! Stop it! 412 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,360 Stop it! 413 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:55,960 Everyone in here is holding onto their lives 414 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:57,520 by their fingertips, Rae! 415 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:00,200 And you were given the chance to start again, 416 00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:02,240 and you don't want it! 417 00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:06,400 I don't like it out there. 418 00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:10,600 No! You don't like it anywhere because you don't like yourself. 419 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,320 You better start doing. 420 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,880 Because I've been trying to be more like you for months. 421 00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:23,160 And if there's no hope for you then what hope is there for me? 422 00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:28,800 What if something bad happens? Something really bad? 423 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:31,880 I tried counting to ten and it didn't work. 424 00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:34,800 Then you put on your Rae armor and you charge at it. 425 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:43,280 Promise me you won't come back. 426 00:34:44,760 --> 00:34:47,400 But I really miss you. 427 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:07,040 So the pool party. 428 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,640 Turn up to a pool party with a bag of booze nicked from your mum, 429 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:16,160 and no one will care if you swim or not. 430 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:19,480 But how to escape. 431 00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,560 Whoo! 432 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,120 Jesus, Rae! 433 00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,760 You've bloody ruined my flower beds. 434 00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:42,000 All right, all right. 435 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,960 You smell like a brewery. 436 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:51,480 Next time you want to borrow some booze, just ask. 437 00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:53,080 You should know that we haven't got the right sort of guttering 438 00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,560 for sneaking in and out of windows. 439 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,320 Take off your top, let's look at your back. 440 00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:00,840 No. No way. 441 00:36:00,840 --> 00:36:03,200 Come on, Rae. It's not like I haven't seen it all before. 442 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:06,040 When you were a little you used to run around naked all the time. 443 00:36:06,040 --> 00:36:08,600 Yeah, well, I'm not a kid anymore. 444 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:11,720 Karim… 445 00:36:15,240 --> 00:36:17,480 All right, let's have a look at your back. 446 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,520 Wait, wait, wait. It's just a bruise. 447 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,120 You sure you're alright about going to the pub and things? 448 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,920 I do worry about you, you know? 449 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,840 I'm fine. 450 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,000 Are you still going to this pool thing today then? 451 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,560 It doesn't matter what people think about you. 452 00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,080 Yeah, well, you're not the one who has to stand in 453 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:55,600 a swimming costume next to Chloe with her gravity defying boobs. 454 00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:59,600 I'm gonna look like a condom filled with Bolognese sauce. 455 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,960 You remember when you were little and we went to Butlin's, 456 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,840 and you said I had a big arse in front of Sally Crowther's parents? 457 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:11,400 No… 458 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:15,280 Why, did it upset you? 459 00:37:15,280 --> 00:37:17,520 You get used to it. 460 00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:23,280 Besides, I was sleeping with Sally Crowther's dad at the time so it made no odds really. 461 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:28,360 All right. 462 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:37,440 I'm sorry about what I said the other day… in the kitchen. 463 00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,600 - Wait… got it. - Mum, mum. 464 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,800 It's all right. Look, look! 465 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:55,400 Rae? 466 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,280 - Hey, Rae. - Hey. 467 00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,280 There's something different about you today. 468 00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:06,480 Where's your inflatable crocodile? 469 00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,960 Actually, I thought you were fantastic. 470 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:11,320 Not many people could style that out like you did. 471 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,640 Come on, let's stay here and chat? I don't fancy a swim. 472 00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:19,760 Why not? 473 00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:21,560 I don't really wanna talk about it… 474 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,520 - Tell me. - No. You'll laugh. 475 00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:29,400 - Maybe. - Um… Well… 476 00:38:31,280 --> 00:38:36,280 I've got like spots on my back. Like back acne. 477 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,720 - Bacne? - Yeah. 478 00:38:38,720 --> 00:38:41,160 - Show me. - No way. 479 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,360 Show me. Show me. 480 00:38:46,080 --> 00:38:48,120 - No laughing. - All right. 481 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:55,720 Oh, my God, even his spots were really sexy. 482 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:57,480 Well? 483 00:38:57,480 --> 00:39:00,120 Well… there's hardly anything there. 484 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:01,640 No one's gonna see anything. 485 00:39:01,640 --> 00:39:06,440 Look let's make a deal. I'll go in, if you go in. 486 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,720 All right. 487 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:57,760 Stop it! 488 00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,320 Is there something wrong? 489 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:10,760 No. Why? 490 00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,360 So why aren't you getting involved? 491 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:14,600 I'm DJing. Duh. 492 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:17,160 We don't need a DJ. Just stick on number 33. 493 00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:21,080 Are you kidding me? It's got "Father and Son" by Boyzone on it. 494 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,240 Yeah, well, we'll just get out and skip it. 495 00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:24,760 Look, you're not gonna make friends 496 00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,000 if you're sitting on the sidelines all the time. 497 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,600 Are people talking about that? 498 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:34,040 They might be. 499 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:38,080 Look, you don't want people thinking you're weird, do you? 500 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,720 You don't want people thinking you're not normal. 501 00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,080 Just come in… 502 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,760 You are boring! 503 00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:06,960 - Get on my back! - No! 504 00:41:06,960 --> 00:41:08,160 Get on my back! 505 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,960 I want to see how long you can hold your breath. 506 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,120 Oh, God… 507 00:41:41,240 --> 00:41:44,720 So. That's it? You went to a party. 508 00:41:44,720 --> 00:41:46,880 And the party was "OK". 509 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:55,200 You know, Rae, these sessions are meant to be a time when you can open up. 510 00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,880 Discuss with someone, confidentially, 511 00:41:57,880 --> 00:41:59,800 how you're really feeling. 512 00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,800 I told you. It was all right. 513 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:09,360 Tell me how you're feeling right now. But be honest. 514 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:15,640 OK, I'll tell you how I feel, yeah. 515 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,400 Two weeks ago my wife kicked me out, 516 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:20,320 I've been stopping on my brother's couch ever since. 517 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,760 This morning I wake up and there's no milk. 518 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:26,600 I bought that fucking milk, and he used it to drown his Sugar Puffs in. 519 00:42:26,600 --> 00:42:28,440 So with no cup of coffee I come to work, 520 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:29,960 I get shat on by a pigeon. 521 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,760 I meet my new patient, and she's about as open as a nun's foo. 522 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:41,040 So… How do you feel? 523 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:50,600 I feel like I hate being here. 524 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:54,160 I feel like I hate this room. 525 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:57,840 What do you hate most about it? 526 00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:01,160 Well, the pictures. They are shit. 527 00:43:19,480 --> 00:43:21,080 Won't you get into trouble for that? 528 00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:22,640 If anyone asks I'll tell them that you did it. 529 00:43:22,640 --> 00:43:24,760 - I'll say you're lying. - Who they gonna believe? 530 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,480 I'm not the one with the history of mental illness. 531 00:43:26,480 --> 00:43:28,360 Wow. 532 00:43:28,360 --> 00:43:30,320 What about the inkblot? 533 00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:33,960 That reminds me of a sanitary towel. 534 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:35,520 Then out it goes. 535 00:43:42,560 --> 00:43:44,560 What about Buster Keaton here? 536 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:48,840 No, I quite like that one. 537 00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,200 Yeah. Me too. 538 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:04,200 What did your instincts say about me? 539 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:06,520 After five seconds. 540 00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,080 I can't remember. 541 00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,960 I don't believe you. 542 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:23,840 My instincts said… that you see yourself as a fragile thing. 543 00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:29,560 Like a little broken bird sloshing around in a bottle. 544 00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:36,280 But if you trust me, if we trust each other, you'll be all right. 545 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:42,960 Because, basically, I think you're a pretty tough cookie. 546 00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:05,600 - Chop? - Yes, my dear? 547 00:45:05,600 --> 00:45:07,520 Come and use those big swans you've been building 548 00:45:07,520 --> 00:45:09,720 to pry my fat butt out of this slide. 549 00:45:09,720 --> 00:45:12,280 Not a problem, Rae. 550 00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:26,800 Bar man! A lemon hooch if you'd be so kind. 551 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:30,720 And turn that shit off! 552 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:41,000 Uh! Maybe we should play a game for it? 553 00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,360 All right, yeah. I've got a good one. 554 00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:48,160 - What? - Maybe last one into the pool should go? 555 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:03,680 The doctors looked at my legs and said, "Didn't it hurt? 556 00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:08,040 Didn't it hurt so much when you were doing it that it burnt to breathe?" 557 00:46:08,040 --> 00:46:14,400 At least they remind me that I survived. But only just. 558 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:22,000 I can't believe I've actually got a group of friends. 559 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:26,160 I can't believe I'm finally out. 560 00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:29,840 I can't believe they actually think I'm getting better. 41792

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