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1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:06,381
What does it take
to save a child in Africa?
2
00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,800
To save them
from the violence?
3
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:12,554
To save them from becoming
a child soldier?
4
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:16,933
What if I told you
that all it took
5
00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:20,478
was just one beard?
6
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:21,771
For the price
of one costume beard,
7
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,983
you can save a child
from becoming another statistic,
8
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,986
another warlord's pawn.
9
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:29,779
Be safe.
10
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,994
That's right.
11
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,621
Just one beard.
12
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,125
And for a little more,
you can get him a cane.
13
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,669
[inspirational music]
14
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:45,754
[music stops]
15
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:51,217
[door closes]
16
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,635
We are here for the children!
17
00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:54,721
[suspenseful music]
18
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:58,475
♪ ♪
19
00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,563
[upbeat jazz music playing]
20
00:01:13,615 --> 00:01:14,199
These are all old people.
21
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:16,576
We are wasting our time.
22
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:18,203
Wait!
23
00:01:19,913 --> 00:01:22,791
[dramatic music]
24
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:31,591
♪ ♪
25
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:38,932
[whistles]
26
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:39,682
[engine starts]
27
00:01:39,765 --> 00:01:42,060
Go, go!
28
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:45,896
[inspirational music]
29
00:01:45,979 --> 00:01:48,900
♪ ♪
30
00:01:48,983 --> 00:01:50,652
Call today.
31
00:01:50,735 --> 00:01:58,827
♪ ♪
32
00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,581
[haunting Western music]
33
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:11,339
♪ ♪
34
00:02:29,190 --> 00:02:32,777
There was one time
I was in my choir at school.
35
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,654
- Mm-hmm.
- My chorus teacher goes,
36
00:02:34,737 --> 00:02:36,739
"All right, so now we're gonna--
for this next number,
37
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,866
we're gonna need somebody
to play the tambourine."
38
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:40,201
Oh, no.
39
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,954
And, uh...it was very clear
he gave it to me and was like
40
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:45,623
you know, all right,
Jordan, this black kid,
41
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:47,417
he's gonna be fine
with this tambourine.
42
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,960
I don't know, Keegan, man.
I'm just not--
43
00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:50,168
You could not
get it in there.
44
00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,921
The white half of me
45
00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,464
was just rocking
that tambourine.
46
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,091
And you were on
the two and the four.
47
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:57,802
(Jordan)
And, like, I think by the end
of the class,
48
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,929
I was ashamed
I was half white.
49
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,264
You just couldn't
get it going, huh?
50
00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,557
I still am.
51
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,016
You're still ashamed
that you're half white?
52
00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:04,893
Yeah.
53
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,561
I hope your mom isn't
watching this episode.
54
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:07,478
No, she's fine.
55
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,397
She's probably
ashamed of it, too.
56
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:10,481
[laughs]
57
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:14,027
One, two...
58
00:03:14,110 --> 00:03:15,194
[scats]
59
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:20,158
(all)
♪ There goes the girl
who owns my heart ♪
60
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:24,662
♪ I knew she was the one
right from the start ♪
61
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,998
- ♪ Ooh-wah ♪
- ♪ Our love is here to stay ♪
62
00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:28,458
- ♪ Ooh-wah ♪
- ♪ Each and every day ♪
63
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:31,669
♪ We know that we will
never part ♪
64
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,089
[scats]
65
00:03:35,173 --> 00:03:37,675
(Lyle)
Oh, wow.
66
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,010
Great work, everybody.
67
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,804
Troy, I love that little
Motown outro thing.
68
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:42,680
Super soulful.
69
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:44,515
Cool.
Thanks, Lyle.
70
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,685
Yeah, it just, uh, came to me,
so I went with it.
71
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:48,978
Wow.
That's crazy.
72
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,856
Hey, is this where
the a cappella group meets?
73
00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:53,149
- Oh, hey, Mark.
- Hey, Lyle.
74
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:54,150
What's going on, buddy?
75
00:03:54,233 --> 00:03:55,317
- Mark, get over here.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
76
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,361
(Lyle)
Guys, this is my buddy, Mark.
77
00:03:56,444 --> 00:03:57,820
He just transferred
from Minnesota.
78
00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,989
I thought he could sit in
on a few practices.
79
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,366
I don't know,
maybe join the group?
80
00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:02,700
Maybe.
[chuckles]
81
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,035
(Lyle)
All right, guys.
82
00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,286
Let's do "Always Been My Girl"
again, from the top.
83
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,287
- "Always Been My Girl," okay.
- And...Mark?
84
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,790
- Show us your stuff.
- You got it, man.
85
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:09,666
- (Lyle)
All right, guys.
Ready?
86
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,585
- One, two...
- [scats]
87
00:04:12,669 --> 00:04:14,712
(all)
♪ There goes the girl ♪
88
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,382
♪ Who owns my heart ♪
89
00:04:17,464 --> 00:04:22,053
♪ I knew she was the one
right from the start ♪
90
00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:24,389
- ♪ Ooh wah ♪
- ♪ Our love is here to stay ♪
91
00:04:24,472 --> 00:04:26,557
- ♪ Ooh wah ♪
- ♪ Each and every day ♪
92
00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:29,310
♪ We know that we will
never part ♪
93
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,980
[scats]
94
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:36,859
♪ Ooh-wee-ee-ooh ♪
95
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,819
[all laugh and clap]
96
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,821
(Lyle)
You got to be kidding me.
97
00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:41,656
Mark, that was
out of this world.
98
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,825
Oh, gosh, okay, well, hey,
it just came to me,
99
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,659
so I just went with it.
100
00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:46,744
(Lyle)
Great.
Well, keep going with it.
101
00:04:46,828 --> 00:04:50,081
Guys, have a safe weekend,
all right?
102
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:52,582
- See you on Monday.
- Nice to meet you guys, man.
103
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,377
- That was awesome.
- Isn't he the best?
104
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,545
Cool, guys.
Great practice.
105
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,921
- Troy, good effort.
- All right.
106
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:57,880
[Troy laughs]
107
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,298
Yeah, check you later, guys.
108
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:02,301
See you later, alligators.
109
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:07,849
[ominous music]
110
00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:15,273
♪ ♪
111
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:19,652
The [bleep] you think
you doing, [bleep]?
112
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,905
I'm doing my thing, [bleep].
113
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,198
The [bleep] you doing?
114
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,200
See...
115
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:29,954
this is my seven white boys,
[bleep].
116
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,873
- [scoffs]
- You need to back
117
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:33,916
the [bleep] up.
118
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,961
[bleep] that, [bleep].
119
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,713
I'm 'bouts to get mine.
120
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:41,466
Do you have any idea
how long it took
121
00:05:41,549 --> 00:05:45,136
for me to infiltrate
this group, [bleep]?
122
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:48,431
25 minutes.
123
00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:51,642
You think I'm gonna
roll over
124
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,228
for some falsetto-ass
mother[bleep]?
125
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,230
[scoffs]
126
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:59,776
Well, you know what, [bleep]?
127
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,988
White boys is gonna do
what white boys is gonna do.
128
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,156
And if they want to run
129
00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:09,619
with a high-ass-singing
falsetto [bleep],
130
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:11,496
then that's on them.
131
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:12,830
Oh, that's on them, then?
132
00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:13,956
Oh, that's on them,
then.
133
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:14,832
Okay, so it's like that?
134
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:17,126
Oh, it's so
like that.
135
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,461
Well, watch your back, [bleep]!
136
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:20,755
- Okay.
- Watch your back, [bleep]!
137
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,174
'Cause you [bleep]
with my [bleep],
138
00:06:23,257 --> 00:06:25,426
I'll [bleep] with your [bleep],
[bleep]!
139
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:26,761
[echoing]
140
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:29,847
(man)
And improvise.
141
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:33,017
Oh, it's so cold out,
and it's going to be dark soon.
142
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,519
Oh, my God.
Yeah, we should build a fire.
143
00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:36,479
Right, yeah, um, like...
144
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,147
Oh! Fire! Fire!
145
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:38,523
Freeze!
146
00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:43,111
Oh, no.
It's a black cat.
147
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:44,320
Hey, man.
148
00:06:44,403 --> 00:06:46,989
Why the cat
got to be black?
149
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,242
[laughter]
150
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,201
Freeze!
151
00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:53,246
[dramatic music]
152
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,997
♪ ♪
153
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:57,166
Man, I guess I got to put
my dick away.
154
00:06:57,250 --> 00:07:00,962
[laughter]
155
00:07:02,463 --> 00:07:05,466
[suspenseful music]
156
00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:13,474
♪ ♪
157
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,034
Like a legitimate date
158
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,036
in the definition of a date
in the dictionary,
159
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,413
I feel like I've been
on four dates in my whole life.
160
00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:39,292
The problem with dating is,
like, if I start to date,
161
00:07:39,375 --> 00:07:43,880
I'm trying to do what I think
you're supposed to do on a date.
162
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,174
So it's like, we're about
to see a movie, right?
163
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:47,216
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
164
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,467
And then, look,
this is how you be a sexy date.
165
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,887
You be like,
"You know what?"
166
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:51,679
- Screw it.
- Screw this.
167
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,015
Let's go take a walk
by the canal.
168
00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,183
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
169
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:57,268
You almost there, you go,
170
00:07:57,351 --> 00:07:58,311
"You know what?
Let's get out of here.
171
00:07:58,394 --> 00:07:59,812
Let's go to my place."
172
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:02,773
On the way to your place, do you
throw another one in there?
173
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,066
You know what?
Screw this.
174
00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,193
Screw this.
Let's go skip in the fountain.
175
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:07,945
- Come on. Why not?
- Pick up some chroners, or...
176
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,197
And then after you get
out of the fountain?
177
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,281
You know what? Screw it.
Let's hit the cinema.
178
00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,950
Let's go to a movie.
And then you're soaking wet.
179
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,577
Right. Yeah.
And, of course, you know--
180
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,621
- Watching some god-awful film.
- You see a bad film.
181
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,455
Also the fact that it's
air conditioned in there.
182
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:18,956
- Yeah.
- Give yourself a chill.
183
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,546
[laughter]
184
00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:26,839
God, the moment I saw you
last night in the club,
185
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,425
totally had
to ask you out.
186
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:30,968
Are you kidding me?
Like, the moment?
187
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:32,303
- Oh, yeah.
- That's so sweet.
188
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:34,013
And I was actually afraid
that you were going to be, like,
189
00:08:34,096 --> 00:08:38,267
one of those high-maintenance
chicks, you know?
190
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,309
- What?
- Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
191
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:42,647
I don't know. Control freak or--
I don't even know.
192
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,023
Oh, my God.
That's so funny.
193
00:08:44,106 --> 00:08:45,942
Isn't it?
194
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,318
Is it? Is it funny?
Is it funny?
195
00:08:47,401 --> 00:08:50,446
No. I'm, like, I totally
just like to be just easygoing.
196
00:08:50,529 --> 00:08:51,781
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hi, I'm Wayne.
197
00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,158
- I'll be your waiter.
- It's been five minutes
198
00:08:54,242 --> 00:08:55,785
and we're just now
getting our menus?
199
00:08:58,162 --> 00:08:59,830
Oh, I'm sorry.
200
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:00,248
Don't be sorry.
201
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:04,126
Be better.
202
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:05,795
Right. Okay.
I'll be better.
203
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,046
At your job.
204
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:08,923
[tense music]
205
00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:09,674
Thank you.
206
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:14,136
So, yeah, my philosophy
is pretty much like,
207
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,680
keep it chill.
208
00:09:15,763 --> 00:09:17,807
Right, yeah, yeah.
209
00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,141
You know what I like
about you?
210
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,935
- No, what?
- It's like you're not afraid
211
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,729
to be, like, brainy
and respectful.
212
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:24,897
Right.
Thanks.
213
00:09:24,981 --> 00:09:25,314
I really like your boobs.
214
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,358
[chuckles]
215
00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:29,026
I think we really
complement each other well.
216
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,278
We just did it
right there.
217
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,863
And, uh, I pretty much
go with the flow.
218
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:33,864
Right, right.
219
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,200
What the [bleep]
is wrong with you?
220
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,535
Excuse me?
221
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:40,579
Do I look like
Mad Max to you?
222
00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,622
I-I'm sorry?
223
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:44,625
Do I look like
Mel Gibson with a mullet?
224
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:45,876
I...
225
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,378
no, not at all.
226
00:09:47,461 --> 00:09:49,005
Does he look like
a feral child
227
00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,631
with a boomerang
in his hand?
228
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,091
No.
229
00:09:52,174 --> 00:09:54,885
Then why the [bleep]
is water a rare commodity here?
230
00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:55,553
It's--it's not.
I'm just, uh--
231
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:58,889
[fake laughing]
232
00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,057
I'm sorry.
I'm just really slammed.
233
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,392
No, you'll know
when you're slammed
234
00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,393
because your nuts
will be on the table
235
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,770
and my fists will be covered
in your blood.
236
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,815
[dramatic music]
237
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,192
♪ ♪
238
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:14,322
Um...
239
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,741
You were, uh...
240
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:19,452
like, kind of harsh
to that guy.
241
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,037
Oh, him?
242
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:21,954
- Yeah.
- No.
243
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:25,249
I was a hostess
at a restaurant.
244
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,876
In the industry, that's how
we talk to each other.
245
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,085
I'll show you.
Hey!
246
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,755
Uh, hey.
247
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:31,756
What do you see there?
248
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:32,715
That's your water.
249
00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:34,633
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Down.
250
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,926
Down?
251
00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,887
Down, boy.
Get on your knees.
252
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:41,432
Okay, I have other tables
that I have...
253
00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:42,683
What does that
look like to you?
254
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,352
Yes, there's a little lipstick
on your glass.
255
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,771
- Okay.
- But it...
256
00:10:46,854 --> 00:10:47,605
Megan, it's your--it's yours--
257
00:10:47,688 --> 00:10:48,773
This is what
I want you to do.
258
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,399
I want you to take
this glass into the back.
259
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,902
I want you to break it,
260
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,613
take the biggest shard you can
find, and bring it to me.
261
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:57,365
I'm...
262
00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:59,784
Then I want to slit
your gullet.
263
00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:01,619
All right, I'm just--
I'll get you another water--
264
00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:05,289
I'm going to slit your throat
and watch you bleed out,
265
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,499
and I'm going to shower
in your blood.
266
00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:09,460
All right, I'll...
I'll get another water.
267
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,962
Well, that would be great.
Thank you.
268
00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,382
But as I was saying, like,
269
00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:16,550
I just feel like it's like
do unto others.
270
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:19,136
Megan!
271
00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:20,721
It was your lipstick
on the glass.
272
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,642
[dramatic music]
273
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,226
What the hell is that?
What are you doing?
274
00:11:26,602 --> 00:11:28,562
Wait.
Wait, no, no, no, no.
275
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:31,857
Oh, man.
276
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,527
Let me just tell you,
277
00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:37,029
no one's ever talked to me
like that in my life.
278
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,864
I'm just saying
that your lipstick--
279
00:11:38,948 --> 00:11:41,700
You have his back?
280
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,911
Who does that?
281
00:11:43,994 --> 00:11:45,913
It was your lipstick
on the glass.
282
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:49,458
He's just a waiter.
283
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,543
You know what?
Take his side.
284
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,169
- I'm not--
- And I hope you have
285
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,463
a very happy life together.
286
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,132
Megan.
287
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,843
What's going on right now?
288
00:11:58,926 --> 00:11:59,844
What are you...?
289
00:11:59,927 --> 00:12:02,847
[dramatic music]
290
00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:06,767
♪ ♪
291
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,103
- Seriously, Megan--
- No!
292
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,354
No.
293
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,398
Megan!
You left your jacket!
294
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:16,026
- Hey, you left your jacket!
- Hey. Hey, hey.
295
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,528
Don't do it.
296
00:12:17,611 --> 00:12:20,364
Man, I just hurt her feelings,
and then she left her jacket.
297
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,031
The least I could do is
give her back her jacket.
298
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,534
Don't do it.
Don't do it.
299
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:24,618
- She [bleep] needs this jacket.
- She does not need it.
300
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,245
It's 87 degrees out.
You know she doesn't need it.
301
00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:30,207
In your heart of hearts you know
she doesn't need that jacket.
302
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,375
Don't do it.
303
00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,296
I think she's going
to need her jacket.
304
00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,380
No, she's not going to need it.
She's not gonna need it.
305
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,549
Megan, you left your jacket,
though!
306
00:12:38,632 --> 00:12:41,844
♪ ♪
307
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:42,219
Seemed like a nice guy.
308
00:12:49,768 --> 00:12:52,813
If you were a villain,
309
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,983
like, what would you do
to make your villain memorable?
310
00:12:56,066 --> 00:12:57,151
I would be called The Puppeteer.
311
00:12:57,234 --> 00:13:00,738
- Of course you would.
- I'd be a super villain.
312
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,072
You could be
my number-one henchman.
313
00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:04,450
Yeah, can I be the Crackin?
Just like--I just want--
314
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:05,743
because then you could say,
315
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:08,621
"Come on, y'all,
release the Crackin."
316
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:10,039
And then I would just be like...
[makes squeaking noise]
317
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:12,750
And I just come out the
side door with, like, a hood.
318
00:13:12,833 --> 00:13:15,669
- Release the Crackin, James.
- No, I wouldn't do that.
319
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:16,754
And James would be your--
your butler.
320
00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,130
- Nope. I don't...
- And he'd be sitting down there
321
00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:19,089
next to you, saying--
322
00:13:19,173 --> 00:13:21,509
James is not a good...
323
00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:22,468
Okay, Jeeves,
you could call him.
324
00:13:22,551 --> 00:13:24,929
"Hey, Jeeves, go
down to the cellar
325
00:13:25,012 --> 00:13:26,430
and release the Crackin."
326
00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,849
So I'm the mastermind,
so I probably should...
327
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:32,686
just, like, figure out
what the words are and what--
328
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,022
"Well, I'll--I'll be.
There's the Crackin."
329
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,316
My supervillain
doesn't need input.
330
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:44,365
[East Indian music]
331
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,367
Okay, there is your hero
fusion burger, sir.
332
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,536
Thank you.
333
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,120
And, sir, if you could just wait
for one moment.
334
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:53,290
We are very, very busy today.
I'm so sorry.
335
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,417
Another great day of business,
Brother Abraham.
336
00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:56,168
Oh, my gosh.
Are you kidding me?
337
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,587
Look, we are
raking in the money.
338
00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:00,297
Praise Allah.
I know.
339
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:01,382
I have just bought
a flat screen television.
340
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,217
- Really?
- High definition.
341
00:14:03,300 --> 00:14:04,969
We should watch some of the
American films on the screen.
342
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:06,262
Come, come.
I have the La-Z-Boy.
343
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,848
- I have the La-Z-Boy sofa.
- Oh, my God, we could--
344
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,434
Salam alaykum.
345
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,646
Brother Abraham,
Brother Osman.
346
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,190
Wa-alaikum-salaam,
Brother Mustafa.
347
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,858
Wa-alaikum-salaam,
Brother Mustafa.
348
00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,195
What are you doing here
in United States?
349
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,489
- A joyous surprise.
- Yes, absolutely.
350
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,117
I was just
checking on your progress.
351
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,368
Of course.
352
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:33,789
This is a very good front
for your sleeper cell.
353
00:14:33,872 --> 00:14:34,665
[chuckles]
354
00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:37,585
The Americans will never
see it coming.
355
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,004
They are totally fooled,
Brother Mustafa.
356
00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,964
They think that we are
just two immigrants
357
00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,593
who are in love with
the amazing amounts of money
358
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:46,927
that you can make
being entrepreneurs.
359
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:49,972
I mean, this food truck
is, like, just printing money.
360
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,640
It's a little crazy,
to be honest with you.
361
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,476
It's like a bottomless pit
of money.
362
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,352
You can just reach in,
pull it out...
363
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,022
Well, in reality,
Brother Abraham.
364
00:14:58,105 --> 00:15:01,525
Yes, well, in reality,
we--we--we want to destroy
365
00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,402
as many of the imperialist
infidels as possible.
366
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,446
Right.
367
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:11,535
But what
I don't understand is...
368
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:15,831
you have your target,
you have your explosives.
369
00:15:15,914 --> 00:15:19,627
Why not just put the bomb
on the truck
370
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:21,754
and then drive it straight
into the building,
371
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,465
killing as many infidels
as you can?
372
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:29,637
No.
So, the thing...is...
373
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,513
That we are already
doing it.
374
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,724
How is that possible?
375
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,226
You see,
Brother Mustafa,
376
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:42,066
these sandwiches
are loaded with cholesterol.
377
00:15:42,149 --> 00:15:46,445
Slowly, the infidels,
they grow fat,
378
00:15:46,528 --> 00:15:48,197
and their arteries
start to clog--
379
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,907
Stop it!
380
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:54,703
I'm beginning to doubt
your dedication to the cause.
381
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,163
- No, no, no, no.
- Hey, guy?
382
00:15:56,246 --> 00:15:58,499
(man)
Can I just order
a fusion burger? I'm in a hurry.
383
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:02,795
Uh, yes...
$9 please.
384
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:05,673
Our leaders
will be very displeased.
385
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:09,927
Did you say $9 for one?
386
00:16:10,010 --> 00:16:11,512
Uh, yes.
Yes.
387
00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,516
One dollar extra for crazy,
rockin' hummus dip.
388
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,267
How much do they cost to make?
389
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:21,271
- $1.50.
- $1.50.
390
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:21,897
Pretty good margins.
391
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:24,400
- Yes.
- Yes, yes, yes.
392
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:25,984
How many do you
sell a day?
393
00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:28,320
I don't know, I don't know.
Maybe 100?
394
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,281
- 100?
- Yes, sometimes two.
395
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,158
On a good day,
maybe two.
396
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,660
What?
397
00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:36,286
So 200 is a big day.
398
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,374
But you are ignoring
your mission!
399
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:41,542
[dramatic music]
400
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:44,128
You will pay
the ultimate price!
401
00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:46,296
(Abraham)
No, no, no, no.
No, Mustafa.
402
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,214
We are still pure.
403
00:16:47,297 --> 00:16:51,009
[suspenseful music]
404
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:57,057
♪ ♪
405
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:00,894
Okay, that sounds good.
406
00:17:00,978 --> 00:17:03,355
Your order will be right up.
That'll be $9, please.
407
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:07,276
All right, thank you.
408
00:17:07,358 --> 00:17:08,026
My friends!
409
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:11,195
You must try Mustafa-kebab!
410
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,865
Only $5.
411
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,659
And one rock and roll
baba ghanoush, $1 extra.
412
00:17:15,742 --> 00:17:17,118
Come on.
413
00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,078
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
414
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:21,665
- Your hero fusion burger.
- You...
415
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,962
- No, okay. Sorry.
- Sorry.
416
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,426
I'll tell you,
we still got it, Otis.
417
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:34,136
Oh, yeah.
Yes, we do.
418
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:36,180
- True that, Walden.
- Mm-hmm.
419
00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:37,681
- All right.
- We here, ain't we?
420
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:38,891
Oh, yeah. Hey, we hittin' it
in business right now.
421
00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:44,188
[both croak loudly]
422
00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:46,440
[both sigh]
423
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:49,318
We out here, straight
hitting the bricks, as it were.
424
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:50,694
Hey, hey, I'm gonna
tell you right now,
425
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:53,280
I got a pocket full of nickels,
and I'm ready to get loose.
426
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,031
- All right!
- [laughs]
427
00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:56,366
- Okay.
- Can I, uh...
428
00:17:56,450 --> 00:17:57,076
get another round, please?
429
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,870
[hip-hop music playing]
430
00:17:59,953 --> 00:18:00,746
- Here we go.
- Oh, yeah.
431
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:04,041
[both mumbling]
432
00:18:04,124 --> 00:18:04,958
You guys like Drake?
433
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:06,710
- Drink?
- A drink?
434
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,420
We got--we got drinks.
435
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,172
- All sorted out on the...
- We got 'em, young buck.
436
00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:10,714
Drink front there,
Tiny Tim.
437
00:18:10,798 --> 00:18:13,509
Drake.
438
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,385
Like Drake, the rapper.
He's a musician.
439
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:15,719
Like, "Started from the bottom,
now we here."
440
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,305
Drake.
441
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,057
Drink?
You saying "drink."
442
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,517
You know a musician
called Drink?
443
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:22,184
Okay, you know what?
Never--never mind.
444
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,895
Uh, you guys are awesome.
445
00:18:24,978 --> 00:18:26,730
♪ ♪
446
00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:27,272
[both scoff]
447
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:28,190
- Drink.
- Awesome.
448
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,400
He over here talking
about Drake.
449
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,276
- "You guys are awesome."
- I don't know about no Drake.
450
00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,069
I don't know nothing
about no Drake.
451
00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,238
I'll tell you another thing,
452
00:18:34,321 --> 00:18:36,573
I'm trying to watch
my calorie intake.
453
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:37,407
Ain't worried
about no Drink.
454
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:39,284
Concerned about
digesting my steak.
455
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,286
- Talk about Drake.
- Talking about Drake.
456
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:43,747
I'm having a hard enough time
staying awake.
457
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:44,122
I can't be concerning
myself with Drake.
458
00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:46,333
You know.
459
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,918
Poured orange juice
on my corn flakes.
460
00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:49,086
Yeah.
461
00:18:49,169 --> 00:18:50,587
He talking about Drake.
Trying to talk about Drake.
462
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:54,091
I need five breaths
to blow out my birthday cake.
463
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,426
I ain't concerned
about no Drake.
464
00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:57,761
- Drake.
- You want to be
465
00:18:57,845 --> 00:18:59,680
concerned about Drake,
that's on your time, brother.
466
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:02,266
Shoot, man.
Lost my teeth in a lake.
467
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,268
I'm over here
like a 1930s cartoon
468
00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:06,061
hitting my head
when I step on a rake.
469
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:07,062
[mimics slap]
Whoo!
470
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:07,646
[mimics birds flying]
471
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:08,814
I don't know no Drake.
472
00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,776
Over here talking about Drake.
You concerned about Drake.
473
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:13,944
I'm gonna tell you
what I'm concerned about.
474
00:19:14,027 --> 00:19:15,946
Making it to the john without
making a bathroom mistake.
475
00:19:16,029 --> 00:19:17,072
My left eyeball
is a fake.
476
00:19:17,155 --> 00:19:19,783
Sperm, my testicles
do not make.
477
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:20,617
I woke up this morning
and my booty hole ache.
478
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:23,120
- Drake. Drake.
- Drake. Drake.
479
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,538
I ain't give a [bleep]
about no Drake.
480
00:19:24,621 --> 00:19:25,205
You know all about Drake.
481
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,708
[speaking gibberish]
Drake.
482
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:31,837
Drake.
483
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:32,546
[scoffs]
484
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,756
Oh, hey, now.
Look at them.
485
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:36,967
Look at these two
old-timers over here.
486
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,011
[both chuckling]
487
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:40,721
Now, take it easy
on them, Walden.
488
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:42,431
[both laughing]
489
00:19:42,514 --> 00:19:42,848
I will, Otis.
I will, brother.
490
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:43,307
I will.
491
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,850
[both chuckling]
492
00:19:44,933 --> 00:19:46,977
Hey!
Hello, gentlemen.
493
00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:50,230
Y'all like Drake?
494
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:50,731
(man)
Drake?
495
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:53,233
Hell, yes.
496
00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,234
"Started from the bottom,
497
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,153
now the whole team
[bleep] here."
498
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,822
Y'all like
Tyler, the Creator?
499
00:19:58,906 --> 00:20:01,825
♪ ♪
500
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,330
(Jordan)
Do you know what it means
when people say,
501
00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:09,625
"Man, I got my shirt
all fleek right now?"
502
00:20:09,708 --> 00:20:10,500
Fleek?
503
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,586
- [scoffs]
- [laughs]
504
00:20:12,669 --> 00:20:13,253
You ain't heard about that?
On fleek?
505
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:13,712
That's not real.
506
00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:15,631
On fleek, man.
507
00:20:15,714 --> 00:20:17,633
What?
508
00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:20,218
It means just looking
to upset fresh.
509
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,595
- I like that.
- Mm-hmm.
510
00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,305
I like that.
I'm going to start saying it.
511
00:20:23,388 --> 00:20:24,514
I don't care
how stupid I look.
512
00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,017
What about
"jump in full dingle?"
513
00:20:27,100 --> 00:20:27,726
That's not real.
514
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,311
That's a thing.
Full dingle.
515
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:32,314
Trust me, if we go--
if we go dance somewhere
516
00:20:32,397 --> 00:20:33,440
and you jump in
talking about,
517
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,651
"I'm gonna jump in this party
full dingle,"
518
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,861
and you just tell everybody,
you will be the coolest person.
519
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,696
Jordan, is that real?
520
00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:41,490
"On fleek" is real, though.
"On fleek" is real.
521
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:44,368
So dingle's not real?
It's not real!
522
00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,035
[laughter]
523
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:47,120
Full dingle is not real!
524
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,622
It is now, though.
525
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,374
[laughs]
526
00:20:50,457 --> 00:20:51,833
(Keegan)
'Cause this is a groundbreaking
show up in this bitch.
527
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:52,876
[laughter]
528
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,337
(both)
♪ I'm gonna do
my one line here ♪
529
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:55,462
(man)
Oh, yeah.
530
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:01,510
Like Akembe here.
531
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,221
Do I run over there?
532
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:06,223
No.
Come on.
533
00:21:06,306 --> 00:21:06,765
Do I run over there?
534
00:21:06,848 --> 00:21:09,851
Be safe.
535
00:21:09,935 --> 00:21:10,894
Do I run?
536
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:11,269
Yeah.
537
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,939
[sighs]
37561
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