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1
00:00:02,419 --> 00:00:04,713
- GENTLEMEN, IT HAS BEEN
A PLEASURE
2
00:00:04,796 --> 00:00:07,298
AND AN HONOR TO MEET YOU
AND YOUR--YOUR PEOPLE.
3
00:00:07,382 --> 00:00:11,594
THE U.S. GOVERNMENT SUPPORTS YOU
IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
4
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:13,263
IDEOLOGICALLY, OF COURSE.
5
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:17,267
HOWEVER, WE CANNOT OFFER
ANY MILITARY AID AT THIS TIME.
6
00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:19,310
- WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
AMBASSADOR,
7
00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:20,937
WE NEED MORE THAN THAT.
8
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,314
- WE ARE DEALING WITH TERRORISM
ON A DAILY BASIS.
9
00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:24,733
- OH, THAT'S SO UNFORTUNATE.
10
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,735
- WARLORDS OVERRUN VILLAGES.
11
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,945
- YES, THAT'S REGRETTABLE.
12
00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,906
- RAPES, TORTURES,
ALL MANNER OF HUMAN ATROCITY.
13
00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:35,326
- THAT'S REALLY SAD,
BUT THE U.S. MILITARY
14
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,953
IS SIMPLY SPREAD TOO THIN.
15
00:00:37,036 --> 00:00:40,915
WE CAN'T AFFORD ANOTHER
INTERVENTION AT THIS TIME.
16
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,668
- BUT WHAT WE COULD USE
YOUR HELP WITH REALLY
17
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,795
IS PROTECTING
OUR VULNERABLE, PLENTIFUL,
18
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,923
AND NEWLY-DISCOVERED
OIL RESERVES.
19
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:52,427
- OIL?
EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND.
20
00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:54,846
OPERATION GOLDEN EAGLE IS A GO.
21
00:01:00,852 --> 00:01:02,896
WELCOME TO DEMOCRACY.
22
00:01:07,942 --> 00:01:11,154
- UH, WE ALSO HAVE
NATURAL GASSES!
23
00:01:11,237 --> 00:01:13,990
- OH, YES, A LOT.
LOTS OF IT.
24
00:01:14,073 --> 00:01:17,076
[haunting Western music]
25
00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:24,083
♪ ♪
26
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:40,225
- [groaning loudly]
27
00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:43,770
- HOW'S YOUR BACK DOING?
YOUR BACK OKAY?
28
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:46,231
YOU NEED TO GET AN ADJUSTMENT
FROM THE CHIROPRACTICALS?
29
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:49,651
- OH, CAN YOU DO--CAN YOU DO
CHIRO--CAN YOU DO CHIROPRACTOR?
30
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,904
- JUST GET THIS.
GET THIS.
31
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:55,740
- JUST RELAX IT?
- YEAH, RELAX IT.
32
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:57,158
GIVE IT TO ME
AND LET ME DO THE WORK.
33
00:01:57,241 --> 00:01:59,994
- IT'S NICE TO BE ABLE
TO JUST RELAX MY ARM,
34
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:03,039
BUT I DON'T KNOW
THAT I FEEL THE--WHOA, WHOA,
35
00:02:03,122 --> 00:02:03,873
WHOA, WHOA, WHAT?
- WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT?
36
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,125
I WASN'T DOING--WHAT, WHAT?
37
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:07,293
- YOU MADE ME TOUCH YOUR DICK.
- NO, I DIDN'T.
38
00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,420
- IT SCUFFED YOUR CROTCH, MAN.
- YOU DIDN'T COME IN--
39
00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:11,381
YOUR FINGERS
DID NOT TOUCH MY CROTCH.
40
00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,716
- NO, IT TOUCHED SOMETHING
DOWN THERE, MAN.
41
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,844
- YOU DIDN'T GET ANYWHERE
NEAR MY CROTCH.
42
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,053
- WE HAVE TO AGREE
IT WAS A OUIJA BOARD SITUATION.
43
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,222
IT WAS A OUIJA BOARD SITUATION.
- IT WAS--NO,
44
00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:22,141
NO, IT WAS A "JORDAN
BOARD" SITUATION.
45
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,395
- I WAKE UP NEXT TO THIS GUY,
46
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:29,399
AND AS USUAL
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME.
47
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:32,694
I'M TRYING TO GET DRESSED
QUICKLY AND GET OUT OF THERE
48
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,403
BEFORE HE WAKES UP,
49
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:39,075
BUT I CAN'T FIND MY UNDERWEAR.
50
00:02:39,158 --> 00:02:43,954
I LOOK EVERYWHERE,
BUT I JUST CAN'T FIND THEM,
51
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,415
AND THEN IT HITS ME.
52
00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:51,087
I HAD LEFT THEM AT ANOTHER GUY'S
APARTMENT EARLIER THAT NIGHT,
53
00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:54,215
AND THAT'S WHEN I KNEW
I HAD A PROBLEM.
54
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:02,432
- THANKS FOR SHARING, SCOTTY.
55
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,603
WELL, I NOTICE A LOT
OF NEW FACES THIS EVENING,
56
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,438
AND I'M SO GLAD YOU ALL CAME,
57
00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:13,151
AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT
THIS IS A SAFE PLACE TO SHARE.
58
00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,653
SO IF YOU WANT TO TELL US
YOUR STORY,
59
00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:19,365
THERE'LL BE NO JUDGMENT.
60
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:23,119
- SURE, I'LL GO.
61
00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:24,537
HI, Y'ALL.
62
00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,456
NAME'S WENDELL,
63
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:32,253
AND I AM IN FACT
A SEXUAL ADDICT.
64
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,047
all: HI, WENDELL.
65
00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,883
- AND WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE,
WENDELL?
66
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:40,345
- WELL, YOU KNOW, MY LIFE,
67
00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:44,057
SEXUALLY SPEAKING, IS CRAZY,
68
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,767
AND I JUST WANT TO FIND
69
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:50,980
ONE SINGLE SOLITARY PERSON
70
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,607
TO SPEND THE REST
OF MY LIFE WITH.
71
00:03:52,690 --> 00:03:55,526
JUST ONE, JUST ONE.
72
00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,987
- SO DO YOU FEEL LIKE
YOUR ADDICTION IS
73
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,697
TOO MUCH TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW?
74
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,199
- DUH.
75
00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,494
I MEAN, IT'S BEEN CRAZY, Y'ALL.
76
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:08,081
WITH ME, THE NASTIER
THE BETTER.
77
00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:08,998
I'M A DIRTY DOG.
78
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:13,836
TRY EVERYTHING, ALL THE FIXINGS.
79
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,589
TANTRIC, MUCH LIKE STING.
80
00:04:17,673 --> 00:04:18,298
ALL THE BELLS AND WHISTLES.
81
00:04:18,382 --> 00:04:22,762
YOU NAME IT, I'VE DONST IT.
82
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:26,265
- AND WHEN WOULD YOU SAY
YOU HIT ROCK BOTTOM, WENDELL?
83
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,559
- WHEN IT GOT SLIPPERY
OUTSIDE MY SHOWER,
84
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,853
ON THE FLOOR
OUTSIDE MY SHOWER.
85
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,106
OH.
86
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:37,402
I HIT ROCK BOTTOM SEXUALLY--
87
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,529
OH, IT WAS PROBABLY LAST NIGHT,
LAST NIGHT.
88
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:43,199
- DO YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD
TELL US WHAT HAPPENED, WENDELL?
89
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:45,534
- YEAH, LET'S SEE.
90
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,578
IT WAS JUST LIKE
ANY OTHER NIGHT.
91
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:49,455
I HAD ORDERED A LARGE PIE,
92
00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:52,457
PEPPERONI,
PINEAPPLE, CHEESY CRUST,
93
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:56,879
SOME CHEESY BREAD ON THE SIDE.
94
00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:01,009
CUT TO 30 "MIN" LATER,
95
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:06,806
PIZZA PARLOR SENT OVER A
DELICIOUS LADY DELIVERY PERSON.
96
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,851
BODY TEN, FACE TEN.
97
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:13,146
THAT'S MY WEAKNESS.
98
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,899
SO I INVITED HER INSIDE,
OPENED UP THE BOX.
99
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:19,444
IT WAS HOT.
100
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:24,699
DEVOURED THE FIRST SLICE
LICKETY-SPLIT, CRUST FIRST.
101
00:05:24,782 --> 00:05:27,577
SECOND SLICE
DIDN'T STAND A CHANCE.
102
00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:29,287
ATE THE TIP OF THAT BITCH FIRST,
103
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,081
WASHED IT DOWN WITH A POP.
104
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,209
THEN I GOT NASTY
WITH THE CHEESY BREAD.
105
00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:39,088
MY HEART STARTED POUNDING HARDER
THAN USUAL, KER-SLUNK,
106
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,673
KER-SLUNK.
107
00:05:40,757 --> 00:05:42,467
MOVED ON TO THE THIRD SLICE--
- WHAT--
108
00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,217
WHAT--WHAT ABOUT THE GIRL?
109
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,636
- WHAT GIRL?
OH, THE GIRL.
110
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,556
YEAH, SHE WAS THERE TOO.
111
00:05:48,639 --> 00:05:54,270
I INVITED HER INTO MY BOUDOIR,
AKA "THE STABBIN' CABIN."
112
00:05:54,353 --> 00:05:55,772
WE DISROBED ONE ANOTHER.
113
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:56,939
I TOUCHED HER ON HER GENITALIA.
114
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:03,613
SHE TOUCHED ME ON MY MAN-ITALIA,
AND THAT'S WHEN I HIT IT.
115
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,449
SEXUALLY, OF COURSE,
116
00:06:06,532 --> 00:06:08,785
UPSTAIRS, DOWNSTAIRS,
ALL AROUND THE TOWN STAIRS,
117
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:11,496
AS YOU DO,
118
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:16,459
AND BY THEN
IT WAS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT,
119
00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:21,214
AND I MEAN OIL EVERYWHERE,
AND...
120
00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,800
SAUCE ALL OVER ME.
121
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,469
- S-SAUCE?
122
00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:30,556
- OH, YEAH,
THAT'S MY WORD FOR...
123
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,808
EJACULATE.
124
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:37,772
ANYHOO, I'M SO DISTRAUGHT
BECAUSE I FEEL VULNERABLE,
125
00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:39,398
AND I DON'T KNOW.
126
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:43,778
I JUST FEEL LIKE ANYONE
127
00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:45,571
COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE
OF ME RIGHT NOW,
128
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,366
A-NY-ONE.
129
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:52,286
'KAY, LET'S SEE WHAT THE BLONDES
HAVE TO SAY FIRST.
130
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:53,663
- WELL, THANK YOU, WENDELL.
131
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:57,082
THANK YOU FOR SHARING.
IT'S ACTUALLY OUR TIME TODAY.
132
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:05,174
- HOW ABOUT THEM
UNNY-FUNNY PEOPLE?
133
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:06,467
- [laughs]
- WE HAVE THE--
134
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:07,510
- WE TALK ABOUT
FUNNY PEOPLE ALL THE--
135
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,594
LET'S TALK ABOUT SOME UNFUNNY--
136
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:10,680
- WE ARE BLESSED
WITH THE POWER OF LAUGHTER.
137
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:13,057
- REMEMBER SAN FRANCISCO?
THIS WOMAN WAS, LIKE--
138
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:13,933
SHE'S WASTED, AND SHE'S LIKE,
139
00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,768
"TELL ME A JOKE."
SOME GUY WAS LIKE,
140
00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:20,064
"I DON'T GOT A JOKE FOR YOU,
BABY, THAT'S NOT MY THING."
141
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,190
- YEAH.
- I DON'T KNOW, DUDE.
142
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,400
- WHAT THE [bleep]
SHE DO FOR A LIVING?
143
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,192
- "ARE--ARE YOU AN ACCOUNTANT?"
- "YOU AN ACCOUNTANT?"
144
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,027
- "RING SOME NUMBERS UP FOR ME."
145
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,613
- OH, [bleep].
146
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,076
YOU SAID THAT
TO THAT MYTHOLOGICAL WOMAN...
147
00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:33,369
- WITH ALL THE BRAVADO.
- BUT IN REAL LIFE, THOUGH,
148
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:36,414
I'D BE--I'D BE,
LIKE, "UM, UM,
149
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,499
CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD."
150
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,296
- ALL RIGHT, MAN.
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
151
00:07:43,379 --> 00:07:45,590
GOOD TO SEE YOU, OKAY.
152
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:49,886
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, JUST LET'S
SETTLE DOWN AND SETTLE IN
153
00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:52,054
AND, LIKE, TOTALLY LET'S GET
OUR MATH ON, OKAY?
154
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:56,601
ALL RIGHT, GUYS, SO--
155
00:07:56,683 --> 00:07:58,060
YEAH, OH!
156
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,563
ALL RIGHT, JIMMY,
157
00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,483
SOMEONE'S GOT A LITTLE EXTRA
ENERGY FROM PHYS ED, RIGHT?
158
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,071
JIMMY, BUDDY, HEY,
BUDDY, LET'S--OKAY, LET'S--
159
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,407
LET'S KNOCK IT OFF, OKAY?
OKAY.
160
00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,451
- HE WANTED ME
TO KNOCK IT OFF...
161
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:14,076
- YOU GOT ME.
HE GOT ME, RIGHT, GUYS?
162
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,454
- SO I KNOCKED IT OFF.
163
00:08:16,537 --> 00:08:18,247
- JIMMY, DUDE, ALL RIGHT,
LET'S TAKE OUR SEAT.
164
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,251
- TAKE OUR SEAT.
WELL, HEY, HEY.
165
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:25,129
- THAT'S GREAT.
THAT'S GREAT.
166
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,048
THAT'S GREAT.
- [robot noises]
167
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:28,257
- VERY GOOD.
BRAVO, JIMMY.
168
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:33,261
YOU GUYS CAN CLAP.
- YAY!
169
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,472
- THAT WAS AWESOME.
OH, I THANK YOU.
170
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,183
I THANK YOU
FOR THE ENTERTAINMENT, MAN.
171
00:08:37,265 --> 00:08:40,269
- [gibbering]
172
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:42,647
JIMMY--LET'S GO, MAN.
173
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,316
HEY, BUDDY--I DON'T WANT
TO HARSH YOUR VIBE, MAN, BUT--
174
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:47,276
- AH, EUREKA.
175
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,569
- I'M GONNA BE HONEST
WITH YOU.
176
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,738
YOU'RE REALLY PUSHING
MY BUTTONS NOW, JIMMY.
177
00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,281
- [beeping electronically]
178
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,492
YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY, MAN.
179
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:56,244
- [zooming]
180
00:08:56,327 --> 00:09:00,289
[imitating a car]
181
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,332
- THAT'S ENOUGH.
182
00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:05,044
YOU WANT ME TO WRITE
YOUR NAME ON THE BOARD?
183
00:09:05,127 --> 00:09:07,463
- [yells]
184
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,298
HOME ALONE,
HOME ALONE, HOME ALONE.
185
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:10,967
- OKAY, JIMMY, DO YOU WANT ME
TO CALL PRINCIPAL MARTEL?
186
00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,093
- [gasping]
187
00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:15,221
- THAT'S ENOUGH, JIMMY.
188
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,473
- [chattering]
- OKAY.
189
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,642
YOU KNOW WHAT, JIMMY?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
190
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,144
WHY DON'T YOU COME UP
AND TEACH THE CLASS, MAN?
191
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:23,104
HMM?
192
00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,106
WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME?
193
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:27,066
- MOI?
194
00:09:32,321 --> 00:09:34,282
- OKAY, GOOD.
195
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:36,075
NO, AND THEN YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M GONNA DO, JIMMY?
196
00:09:36,158 --> 00:09:38,160
I'LL JUST SIT HERE.
HOW 'BOUT THAT, JIMMY,
197
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,662
AND WE CAN ALL WATCH HOW
YOU'RE BEING DISRUPTIVE--
198
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:40,830
- [speaks nonsense]
199
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:43,958
- OH, I SEE.
THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME.
200
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,752
RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
JIMMY, OKAY, I SEE.
201
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,337
I GET IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ME.
202
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,840
IT'S TIME TO BE DONE, JIMMY.
DON'T YOU DARE, JIMMY.
203
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,717
WHAT THE--
[scissors snip]
204
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,057
OH, YEAH?
205
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,018
OH, YEAH?
206
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,146
OH, YEAH?
207
00:10:05,229 --> 00:10:09,358
[unintelligible scream]
208
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,069
WELL, THIS IS YOU, JIMMY!
209
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:18,993
[screaming nonsense]
210
00:10:19,076 --> 00:10:22,830
I'M YOU, JIMMY!
[screams nonsense]
211
00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:26,876
[growling and screaming]
212
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:27,501
HOW 'BOUT THAT, JIMMY, HUH?
213
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:28,627
"OH, I'M GONNA SLAP FIVE!
214
00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:32,048
GIVE ME FIVE!"
GIVE ME--GIVE ME FIVE!
215
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:33,841
HUH, HOW 'BOUT THAT, HUH?
216
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:34,258
THAT'S YOU, JIMMY!
217
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:37,178
"I'M JIMMY.
218
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:39,388
"I'M JIMMY,
AND I NEED ATTENTION!
219
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:43,601
"YEAH, I'M JIMMY! I'M JIMMY!
220
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,519
"OH, LOOKIE HERE.
I'M A BABY BOY.
221
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,604
"THAT'S THE FUNNIEST THING
222
00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,857
"THAT EVER HAPPENED
IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
223
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:51,692
"I'M JIMMY!
I WANT ATTENTION!
224
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,903
"WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY,
WIGGY, WIGGY, WIGGY!
225
00:10:53,986 --> 00:10:55,071
I'M JIMMY!
I'M JIMMY!"
226
00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:56,906
[high-pitched gibberish]
227
00:10:56,989 --> 00:10:58,574
- MR. FRIAR!
228
00:10:58,657 --> 00:11:00,576
- PRINCIPAL MARTEL!
NO, WHAT?
229
00:11:00,659 --> 00:11:02,912
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO, IT WAS JIMMY.
230
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,580
IT WAS JIMMY, PRINCIPAL MARTEL.
231
00:11:04,663 --> 00:11:05,164
NO, JIMMY--
232
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:07,917
IT WAS JIMMY!
233
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:11,670
IT WAS JIMMY!
234
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,220
- WHOO!
[all cheering]
235
00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:22,807
- JIMMY!
236
00:11:22,890 --> 00:11:26,769
all: JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY,
JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY,
237
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:33,150
JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY,
JIMMY, JIMMY,
238
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:39,031
JIMMY, JIMMY, JIMMY,
[cheering]
239
00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:49,083
- CONTEXTUALIZE THE WHOLE THING.
240
00:11:49,165 --> 00:11:50,751
- THEY'RE A STEP
AHEAD OF US EVERY SINGLE TIME.
241
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:52,670
- OH, ABSOLUTELY.
- A STEP AHEAD EVERY--
242
00:11:57,758 --> 00:11:59,260
- DICKNANIGANS.
243
00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:02,388
[somber ambient music]
244
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:10,396
♪ ♪
245
00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:32,418
[honks car horn]
[crash]
246
00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:33,752
- NO.
247
00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:42,136
both: MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
248
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,345
- [whispering]
DICKNANIGANS.
249
00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,682
- IT'S AMAZING.
250
00:12:46,765 --> 00:12:50,311
[indistinct chatter]
251
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:16,420
- WORMS!
252
00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:20,257
[somber ambient music]
253
00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:21,842
♪ ♪
254
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,844
- DICKNANIGANS.
255
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:24,887
- IT'S A DIALOGUE
WITHOUT DIALOGUE.
256
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:28,432
- ABSOLUTELY.
I FEEL LIKE THEY'RE IN MY HEAD.
257
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:35,940
[Debussy's Clair de Lune
playing]
258
00:13:36,023 --> 00:13:38,984
[gentle piano music]
259
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:46,742
♪ ♪
260
00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:11,517
- [imitating a metal spring]
261
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,980
[gasping in appreciation]
262
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,985
- DICKNANIGANS.
263
00:14:21,068 --> 00:14:23,362
- WOW.
264
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:26,782
- [whimpering]
POOP.
265
00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:28,409
- DICKNANIGANS.
266
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,536
- FRISBEES.
267
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,329
- DICKNANIGANS.
268
00:14:32,413 --> 00:14:34,498
- SO--
[guttural sounds]
269
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,625
- DICKNANIGANS.
270
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,670
- SOLANGE.
271
00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:41,714
- DICKNANIGANS!
272
00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:46,218
- OH.
273
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:00,858
[audience cheering]
274
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,661
- GENTLEMEN,
275
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,705
"EXPLODED NUTS SYNDROME"
IS A CONDITION
276
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,334
INDICATED BY THE PRESENCE
OF EXPLODED NUTS,
277
00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,836
WHICH YOURS ARE.
278
00:15:20,919 --> 00:15:24,173
BY THE WAY,
I SAW YOUR SHOW LAST NIGHT.
279
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,924
AMAZING.
280
00:15:35,392 --> 00:15:38,562
- WHAT IF WE DID A SCENE
WHERE WE'RE STANDING THERE
281
00:15:38,646 --> 00:15:41,982
AND OUR DICKS ARE OUT.
282
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,317
WE DON'T BLUR IT, NOTHING.
283
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:49,031
JUST--SHOW OPEN,
OUR [bleep] NEXT TO EACH OTHER.
284
00:15:49,114 --> 00:15:51,408
- WHAT IS THE STORY
THAT THE DICKS ARE TELLING?
285
00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:52,910
- WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE--OKAY,
NOW WE'RE TALKING.
286
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,119
NOW WE'RE BRAINSTORMING.
287
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,872
SO I'M THINKING IT'S THAT--
288
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:57,414
THEY'RE NEIGHBORS.
- OKAY.
289
00:15:57,498 --> 00:15:59,375
- OKAY.
- YES.
290
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:02,795
- SO THEY COME OUT
OF THEIR HOUSES...
291
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,129
- OKAY, MM-HMM.
- IN THE--
292
00:16:04,213 --> 00:16:06,006
IN THE BEGINNING OF THE DAY...
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
293
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,049
- AND, YOU KNOW, MY DICK
WOULD BE LIKE
294
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:09,051
"HEY, JOHNSON."
YOU KNOW, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.
295
00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,763
- RIGHT, AND MINE--MINE
WOULD BE NAMED--"HI, I'M WILLY."
296
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,765
- RIGHT, RIGHT--
SO ALREADY WE'RE GOLD.
297
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:16,684
THE JOKES WILL WRITE
THEMSELVES, MAN.
298
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,269
HOW MANY DICK PUNS ARE THERE?
299
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:21,105
- A MYRIAD AMOUNT OF DICK PUNS.
300
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,356
- OKAY, "LET'S GO OUT
AND PLAY BALL."
301
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,441
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?
- OKAY, RIGHT, I GOT YOU.
302
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,151
I HEAR YOU.
- "I'M GONNA GO IN FOR A SECOND
303
00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:30,239
AND EAT MY BREAKFAST,
SOME SCROTE-MEAL."
304
00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,407
- GOD, "SCROTE-MEAL" ALONE
IS ALMOST WORTH IT.
305
00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,325
- ABSOLUTELY.
306
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,285
WE OPEN WITH "SCROTE-MEAL."
307
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,251
- DON'T TOUCH THAT WOMAN, OKAY?
308
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,421
- PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON ME.
DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME!
309
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:46,922
- DON'T YOU PUT YOUR HANDS
ON HER.
310
00:16:47,005 --> 00:16:47,923
THAT'S MY WOMAN!
- YES!
311
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:50,092
[jazz music]
[audience applause]
312
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,260
- AND NOW...
313
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:56,724
FOR THE SCAT STYLINGS OF
REX "THE BONE DADDY" RONSON
314
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:58,934
AND TEDDY "12 COMBS" LEWIS.
315
00:17:04,272 --> 00:17:08,109
both: ♪ ZOO DO DWEEP
BODO DWAPE, ZOODO DWEEP ♪
316
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:13,198
♪ ZODO BA DATIN WOP WOP
WA WOP WOW ♪
317
00:17:13,281 --> 00:17:18,037
- ♪ BUTT, BUTT, BUTT,
BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT, BUTT ♪
318
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:18,954
♪ HOPPY GEEBO DERPA DAY ♪
319
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,457
♪ YOUR BREATH SMELLS
LIKE A BUTT ♪
320
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,208
♪ YOUR BOP BOP, BOOTY BOP ♪
321
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:27,628
♪ YOUR WHOLE MOUTH SMELLS LIKE
AN OPEN ASS ♪
322
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:32,050
♪ BUTT, POOP, POO ♪
323
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:36,013
- ♪ WAY WE VWEE VWAY,
FAT, FAT, WAT DWAY ♪
324
00:17:36,096 --> 00:17:38,849
♪ FATTY USED TO CHEWBY DOO
YOU'RE FAT ♪
325
00:17:38,932 --> 00:17:41,560
♪ YOU'RE A FAT, FAT ♪
FAT, FAY, FAY, BA BOO FATTY ♪
326
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,020
♪ FAH BOO BAH, FE, FI, FO FUM ♪
327
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:47,316
♪ WHAT DO I SMELL
BUT SOME FAT NEXT TO ME ♪
328
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,650
♪ THAT'S THE MAN, FATTY MM ♪
329
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:54,114
♪ POTTY FOO FAY FE, FO, FAT ♪
330
00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:56,158
- ♪ HIDDLE BIT LITTLE BIT
DIBBIDY DOBBIDY DOO LA LA DA ♪
331
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,995
♪ TEENILY WEENILY HODDILY
HIDDILY LITTLA BITTLA ♪
332
00:18:00,078 --> 00:18:01,371
♪ BABY PENIS ♪
333
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:05,876
♪ ♪
334
00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:09,087
- ♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪
335
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:11,381
♪ SUCK IT AND SUCK IT
AND SUCK IT ♪
336
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,091
♪ AND SUCK IT
AND SUCK IT AND SUCK IT ♪
337
00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,384
♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪
338
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:16,929
♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT
FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT ♪
339
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:17,930
♪ FEEL FREE TO SUCK IT
YOU CAN SUCK IT ♪
340
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:21,975
♪ AND PUT IT IN
IN YOUR MOUTH ♪
341
00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:25,187
- ♪ STOP, MOP ♪
342
00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,731
♪ YOUR FACE, YOUR FACE,
YOUR FACE ♪
343
00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:29,858
♪ LOOKS LIKE A BALL SACK ♪
344
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,820
♪ NO WRINKLE DINKLE DOOS
STICKY DOOP ♪
345
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:36,532
♪ BA DEE DO, WRINKLE
DINKLE DEE DEE BALL SACK ♪
346
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:39,451
- [scatting]
347
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:42,621
♪ TELLENUM, TELLENUM, TEN OH,
TEN, YOU A TAINT, YOU A TAINT ♪
348
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:43,622
♪ YOU'RE A TAINT
YOU'RE A TAINT ♪
349
00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:45,958
♪ THE SPACE
BETWEEN THE BUTT AND BALLS ♪
350
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:49,378
♪ TAINT FACE, YOU TAINTY TAINT
YOUR FACE IS A TAINT, TAINT ♪
351
00:18:49,461 --> 00:18:54,216
♪ TAINT, TAINT ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪
352
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:56,176
- ♪ NO, I WON'T ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪
353
00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:58,303
- ♪ I NEVER WILL ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪
354
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,221
- ♪ NO, I WON'T, NEVER WILL ♪
- ♪ TAKE IT BACK, TAKE IT BACK ♪
355
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,390
- ♪ TAKE IT BACK ♪
- ♪ NO, I WON'T ♪
356
00:19:01,473 --> 00:19:02,766
both: ♪ 'CAUSE YOU'RE
A SON OF A, SON OF A ♪
357
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,601
♪ SON OF A, SON OF A BITCH,
BITCH, BITCH ♪
358
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:10,232
♪ SON OF A, SON OF A, SON OF A,
SON OF A BITCH, BITCH, BITCH ♪
359
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:13,944
[cheers and applause]
360
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,872
- ♪ YOU DON'T NEED
TO FIGHT OVER ME ♪
361
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:28,792
♪ THERE'S PLENTY
OF THE VA-GA- ♪
362
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:34,256
[scatting]
♪ GINA ♪
363
00:19:34,339 --> 00:19:37,050
♪ VAGINA ♪
364
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:41,972
♪ THERE'S PLENTY OF, OF, OF ♪
365
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:43,307
YOU KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT, RIGHT?
366
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:44,600
[laughs]
367
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,477
Y'ALL KNOW WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.
368
00:20:00,782 --> 00:20:03,160
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT R&B IS?
369
00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:04,453
DO YOU KNOW
SOME REAL GOOD MODERN...
370
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:07,247
- OH, R&B'S BEEN AROUND
LONGER THAN ROCK AND ROLL.
371
00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:08,332
- THAT MODERN [bleep].
I'M TALKING--
372
00:20:08,415 --> 00:20:09,958
I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT OLD SCHOOL R&B.
373
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,629
I'M TALKING ABOUT THAT
♪ COME WITH ME, GIRL ♪
374
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:17,007
♪ I'M GONNA HIT IT FROM
THE BACK ♪
375
00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,133
THAT'S WHAT THEY TALKING
ABOUT NOWADAYS IN R&B.
376
00:20:18,216 --> 00:20:20,385
- THAT'S WHAT THEY TALKING
ABOUT?
377
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,386
- I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT LIKE
378
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:23,013
♪ I WANT TO COURT YOU ♪
379
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:24,389
I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT THAT STUFF.
380
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:25,807
- YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT GETTING RIGHT INTO
381
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,558
THE "WHERE DO I PUT THIS THING
INSIDE OF YOUR BODY?"
382
00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:28,727
- YES.
383
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:29,978
- I DON'T LISTEN
TO THAT KIND OF MUSIC.
384
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,189
- IT'S--IT'S--R&B THESE DAYS
385
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:35,817
IS LIKE A LITERAL DESCRIPTION
OF SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.
386
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:36,735
IT'S LIKE...
387
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:40,948
♪ MY PENIS
WILL GO IN YOUR VAGINA ♪
388
00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,034
- NO, IT'S NOT.
NO, IT--REALLY?
389
00:20:44,117 --> 00:20:46,203
- ♪ SEMEN WILL COME OUT ♪
390
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:51,083
♪ NINE MONTHS LATER
WE MIGHT HAVE A BABY ♪
391
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:55,253
- REALLY?
THAT'S HOW FAR IT'S COME.
392
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:57,339
- ♪ I'M GONNA DO
MY ONE LINE HERE ♪
393
00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:58,340
- OH, YEAH.
394
00:21:02,636 --> 00:21:05,555
- I WILL SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK.
TAKE CARE.
395
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:06,682
- OKAY, WHERE ARE WE GOING?
396
00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:10,143
WHERE'S IT--IS THERE A MEETING
AFTER THE MEETING?
397
00:21:10,227 --> 00:21:11,144
LIKE, FOR COCKTAILS
OR--JUST--OKAY.
28731
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