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1
00:00:05,004 --> 00:00:07,799
- I UNDERSTAND THIS IS
YOUR FIRST PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE?
2
00:00:07,882 --> 00:00:10,093
- THAT'S RIGHT. MM-HMM.
- OKAY.
3
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:10,760
I WANT TO MAKE YOU AWARE
OF SOME THINGS
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:12,053
THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAPPEN,
5
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:15,640
BUT THERE'S NO NEED
TO FEEL EMBARRASSED IF THEY DO.
6
00:00:15,724 --> 00:00:16,766
- OKAY.
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,351
- THINGS SUCH AS CRYING.
- REALLY?
8
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,437
- MM, OH, YES.
9
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:23,982
MASSAGE CAN RELEASE
PENT-UP EMOTIONS.
10
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:28,194
ALSO, NOT UNCOMMON
IS THE RELEASE OF GAS.
11
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,112
- LIKE FARTING?
12
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,989
- THAT'S RIGHT, LIKE FARTING.
13
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,324
ALSO, ERECTIONS.
- REALLY?
14
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:34,701
- YEAH.
- I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
15
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:39,706
- LET'S GET STARTED.
16
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:41,082
[crying]
17
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,419
[farts]
18
00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:45,503
- WELL, AT LEAST
YOU DIDN'T GET A--
19
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,922
THERE IT IS.
20
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,967
[haunting western music]
21
00:00:51,050 --> 00:00:57,974
♪ ♪
22
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,157
- SO WHAT'S
THE CRAZIEST BIBLICAL NAME?
23
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:18,203
- ONE OF THE BEST NAMES
IN THE BIBLE IS NIMROD.
24
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:19,871
DON'T THINK THAT DIDN'T COME
FROM THE BIBLE.
25
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:21,331
- AND WHAT,
IS THAT THE CHARACTER THAT JUST,
26
00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:23,500
LIKE, [bleep] UP?
- NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
27
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:27,086
NIMROD, NIMROD IS--
28
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,545
NIMROD IS A MIGHTY WARRIOR.
29
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:29,589
THERE'S A HIGH SCHOOL BASKETBALL
TEAM IN NORTHERN MICHIGAN
30
00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:30,924
CALLED THE NIMRODS.
31
00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:34,259
- CAN YOU IMAGINE
HAVING TO BE LIKE,
32
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:37,222
"WHO A NIMROD?
WE NIMRODS!"
33
00:01:39,723 --> 00:01:42,685
[muffled shouting]
34
00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,451
- HERE WE COME, SON.
HERE WE COME.
35
00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,620
- [shouting]
HUT!
36
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:03,790
[epic theatrical music]
37
00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:11,798
♪ ♪
38
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:32,485
[high-pitched tone]
39
00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:40,743
[whistle blowing]
40
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,120
- MAN, YOU FEELING ALL RIGHT?
41
00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:45,373
- YEAH, I'M FINE, MAN!
42
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,625
- LET'S GO, LET'S GO!
43
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:48,918
- COME ON!
- LET'S GO, MAN!
44
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,796
- MAN, WHAT ARE WE DOING
OUT THERE?
45
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,382
WHAT ARE WE DOING OUT THERE,
HUH?
46
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,591
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW.
47
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,218
NO, SERIOUSLY,
WHAT--WHAT ARE WE DOING?
48
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:59,804
WHAT--WHAT ARE WE DOING?
49
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,014
- PLAYING FOOTBALL?
- OKAY, YEAH.
50
00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:02,974
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,
51
00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:06,144
THAT'S IT, MAN.
PLAYING FOOTBALL, YEAH?
52
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:08,271
- YO, EXQUISITE T.
53
00:03:08,353 --> 00:03:10,815
YOU NEED TO LET THE MEDICS
TAKE A LOOK AT YOU, MAN.
54
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:12,984
- DUDE, I'M ALL RIGHT, MAN.
I'M FINE.
55
00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:13,568
SHOOT.
56
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,945
I'M HERE,
57
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,614
AND I'M READY TO DO THIS, MAN.
58
00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:20,199
- ALL RIGHT.
- WHAT ABOUT YOU ALL, MAN?
59
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,619
DO YOU WANT THIS?
- YEAH.
60
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:23,620
- YEAH.
- DO YOU WANT THIS?
61
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,787
all: YEAH.
62
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,456
- DO YOU WANT THIS?
all: YEAH!
63
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,082
- DO YOU WANT THIS?
all: YEAH!
64
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,500
- I MEAN, ALL YOU HAD TO DO
WAS ASK, MAN.
65
00:03:29,584 --> 00:03:30,960
THERE'S PLENTY OF APPLE PIE
TO GO AROUND.
66
00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,295
YOU WANT SOME APPLE PIE,
BROTHER?
67
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,296
YOU WANT SOME APPLE PIE,
BROTHER?
68
00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:34,297
COME ON, MAN.
WHO WANT A SLICE?
69
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:38,176
- YO, EXQUISITE T,
AIN'T NO APPLE PIE, MAN.
70
00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:39,802
THAT'S YOUR HELMET.
- HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
71
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:42,180
DOG, DOG, DOG, MAYBE YOU SHOULD
JUST SIT OUT THE NEXT PLAY.
72
00:03:42,263 --> 00:03:43,473
- SIT OUT THE NEXT PLAY?
- YEAH.
73
00:03:43,555 --> 00:03:43,805
- ARE YOU GONNA SIT
OUT THE NEXT PLAY?
74
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,558
- NAH.
75
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,809
- YOU GONNA SIT
OUT THE NEXT PLAY?
76
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:47,977
I DIDN'T THINK SO.
I DON'T NEED
77
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:48,645
TO SIT OUT THE NEXT PLAY,
AND I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHY.
78
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:50,980
'CAUSE ALL Y'ALL.
79
00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,732
'CAUSE I KNOW Y'ALL GOT MY BACK.
80
00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,859
Y'ALL KNOW WHAT I SEE
WHEN I LOOK AT YOU?
81
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:55,985
I'MA TELL YOU WHAT I SEE.
82
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,905
GROWN MEN...
- YEAH, YEAH.
83
00:03:58,988 --> 00:03:59,989
- WHO LOOK LIKE GIANTS...
- YEAH.
84
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,659
- WITH REALLY BIG SHOULDERS...
85
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:03,368
all: YEAH!
86
00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,619
- WHO ARE WEARING SHORT PANTS.
87
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:06,996
- WHAT?
88
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:10,291
- AND JUST RIGHT THERE, A FEW
SECONDS OF COMPLETE DARKNESS,
89
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,543
AND THEN I SAW SOME
LITTLE FLOATY SPECKS OF LIGHT
90
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,711
IN THE AIR, UP LIKE THAT.
91
00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,254
- EXQUISITE T.
- WHO IS THAT?
92
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,464
IS THAT CARTOON SQUIRREL
TALKING TO ME?
93
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:17,464
- YEAH!
94
00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,591
- CARTOON SQUIRREL,
WHERE YOU AT?
95
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:19,257
- I'M HERE, MAN.
- OH, YES.
96
00:04:19,341 --> 00:04:23,012
- YOU HAVE A BRAIN INJURY.
97
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,348
YOU NEED TO GET
SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION.
98
00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:27,350
- I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
CARTOON SQUIRREL,
99
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,978
WHO NEEDS SOME MEDICAL ATTENTION
IS THE COUGARS OVER THERE.
100
00:04:30,061 --> 00:04:31,229
- DOG, DOG, DOG.
- WHAT, WHAT?
101
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:32,772
- WE'RE PLAYING THE BRUISERS.
- RIGHT, OKAY.
102
00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,857
- BRUISERS.
- OKAY.
103
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:35,775
LISTEN, Y'ALL.
104
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,110
WE NEED TO REMEMBER
WHO WE ARE, OKAY?
105
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,862
WE'RE THE TEAM OF DESTINY
THIS YEAR.
106
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,656
WE'RE THE TEAM EVERYBODY
TALKING ABOUT.
107
00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:43,992
WE'RE THE TEAM EVERYBODY
AFRAID OF, MAN.
108
00:04:44,075 --> 00:04:45,451
WE GOT TO REMEMBER WHO WE ARE.
109
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:48,371
WHO ARE WE?
- RHINOS.
110
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,831
- WHO ARE WE?
111
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,125
all: THE RHINOS.
112
00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:53,626
- WHO ARE WE?
all: RHINOS!
113
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:54,877
- WHO ARE WE?
all: RHINOS!
114
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,630
- WHO ARE WE?
all: RHINOS.
115
00:04:57,714 --> 00:04:59,215
- WHO ARE WE?
all: RHINOS.
116
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:02,719
- ARE WE THE RHINOS?
all: YEAH!
117
00:05:05,304 --> 00:05:06,389
- OH, MY GOD.
118
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,017
SOMEBODY STOLE OUR HORNS.
119
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:12,979
WE GOT TO FIND OUR HORNS, Y'ALL.
- OH, [bleep] IT.
120
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,065
- WHERE THE HORNS AT?
- WHAT THE [bleep]?
121
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,150
[monitors beeping]
122
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,569
- DOCTOR FORREST, DIAL 118,
PLEASE.
123
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:22,488
DR. FORREST, PLEASE DIAL 1-1-8.
124
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:25,241
- [sighs]
125
00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:29,829
DON?
- YES, I'M HERE.
126
00:05:31,789 --> 00:05:36,502
- PROMISE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET ABOUT ME.
127
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,880
- YES.
128
00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,923
OF COURSE.
129
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:45,219
- PROMISE ME YOU'LL TAKE CARE
OF OUR LITTLE GIRL.
130
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:45,928
AND LOVE HER.
131
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:50,266
- YES, WITH ALL MY HEART.
132
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:57,023
- PROMISE ME YOU'LL STAY STRONG
FOR HER.
133
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,776
- YES, YES.
134
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:04,155
I PROMISE.
135
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:08,785
- AND PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER
SLEEP WITH ANOTHER WOMAN.
136
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:14,499
- [clicking]
137
00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:18,336
I HEAR YOU.
138
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:20,505
- PROMISE ME YOU'LL TAKE CARE
OF MR. BIG FLUFFY TAIL?
139
00:06:20,588 --> 00:06:21,964
- YES.
140
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,758
YES, YES, YES, DONE.
141
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:28,638
THAT CAT WILL BE
THE MOST LOVED CAT IN THE WORLD.
142
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:33,476
- AND THAT YOU WON'T LOOK
AT PORN.
143
00:06:33,558 --> 00:06:35,978
- AHH.
- HUH?
144
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,939
- [speaking gibberish]
145
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:40,191
- IS THAT YES?
146
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:41,776
- CHECKY, CHECKY, CHECKY,
CHECKY, CHICKETY, CHICKETY,
147
00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:44,529
CHICKETY CHECK.
148
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:45,571
- NO PORNOGRAPHY.
149
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:49,075
- BUSTER BROWN SAYS WHAT?
150
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:51,702
- IS THAT A YES?
151
00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:57,207
- YO BETTER BELIEVE
I HEARD WHAT YOU SAID, GIRL.
152
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:58,376
- YOU LOVE ME, RIGHT?
153
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:00,169
- YES, I LOVE YOU.
YES.
154
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,213
- AND WE'RE SOUL MATES, RIGHT?
155
00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,423
- YES.
156
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:06,926
- SO YOU WILL NEVER, EVER,
157
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:10,471
EVER THINK OF SOMEONE ELSE
WHILE MASTURBATING, RIGHT?
158
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,099
- [as robot]
MESSAGE RECEIVED.
159
00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,767
- I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IS THAT A YES?
160
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,519
- YO COMPRENDE.
161
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:17,645
- IS THAT A PROMISE?
162
00:07:17,728 --> 00:07:19,939
- [goofy voice]
YOUR REQUEST HAS BEEN FILED.
163
00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:23,860
- SAY YOU PROMISE.
164
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,825
- FORGET ABOUT, HUH?
165
00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,202
HUH?
166
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,704
- I NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT.
- IT.
167
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,830
- I--NO, SAY, "I PRO--
168
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:37,623
I PROMISE."
- YOU PROMISE.
169
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:42,211
- YOU--YOU PROMISE.
170
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:43,963
SAY IT.
171
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,381
- OKAY, "I PROMISE."
- NO AIR QUOTES.
172
00:07:45,464 --> 00:07:50,761
- ♪ PROMISES ARE THINGS
THAT MOTHERS-- ♪
173
00:07:50,845 --> 00:07:53,723
- SAY IT, SAY IT!
174
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,600
- I PROMISE, I PROMISE.
175
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:56,933
- WHAT ARE YOU PROMISING?
176
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:58,102
- I PROMISE WHAT YOU SAID.
177
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,062
- FINE, FORGET IT.
178
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:04,567
- YES.
I MEAN, OKAY.
179
00:08:07,403 --> 00:08:10,948
- WILL YOU AT LEAST PROMISE
TO GO SEE MY MOM EVERY DAY?
180
00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:14,035
- SO ZERO PORNOGRAPHY?
DONE.
181
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,494
I LIKE THAT.
182
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:15,912
NURSE?
183
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:19,040
FIX MY WIFE!
184
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:21,459
[crying]
185
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,215
DON'T TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW.
186
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,133
I'M JUST--
IT'S NOT--NOT ALL ABOUT YOU.
187
00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:37,475
- I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,
LIKE, LIKE, RIGHT QUICK, THOUGH.
188
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:39,227
GIVE ME THAT--
GIVE ME THAT BOTTLE, HERE.
189
00:08:39,309 --> 00:08:41,102
I'M KIDDING.
190
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,313
DO YOU KNOW
ANYBODY WHO'S DONE THAT?
191
00:08:42,395 --> 00:08:44,106
EVER DONE THAT?
- WHAT, PEED IN A BOTTLE?
192
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,651
- YEAH.
- PROBABLY.
193
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,818
- I HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER,
194
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,488
ONE TIME, WHO HAD
SOME DYSENTERY SITUATIONS.
195
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:52,156
- OH, NO.
- AND WE WERE OUT
196
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,034
IN THE MIDDLE--LIKE,
IN--IT LOOKED LIKE THIS.
197
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,452
AND THIS PERSON--
- HE HAD DYSENTERY OUT HERE?
198
00:08:56,535 --> 00:08:59,622
- NOW, I DIDN'T SAY IT WAS A HE.
- OH.
199
00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,540
- I'M JUST SAYING A MEMBER
OF MY FAMILY.
200
00:09:01,624 --> 00:09:03,751
THIS PERSON HAD TO GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
201
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:05,211
WE'RE OUT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE DESERT.
202
00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:07,129
WE DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING FOR THIS
PERSON TO GO TO THE BATHROOM IN.
203
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:11,801
[bleep], THERE WAS AN EMPTY...
204
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:12,969
COUNTRY CROCK.
205
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,304
- [laughing]
COUNTRY CROCK.
206
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,306
OH, NO.
- THERE WAS FOR REAL,
207
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:20,977
IN REAL LIFE
AN EMPTY COUNTRY CROCK.
208
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,645
- THIS PERSON LEFT THE CAR?
THEY LEFT THE CAR?
209
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,272
- THEY LEFT THE CAR.
- BUT YOU WERE IN THE DESERT,
210
00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:25,940
SO SOMEBODY
COULD HAVE JUST GONE--
211
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:27,692
THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO REALLY.
212
00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:29,068
- THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO.
213
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:32,488
- AND THEN LEFT IT?
- BUT IT WAS SO APROPROS.
214
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,032
COME ON, MAN.
COUNTRY CROCK?
215
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:38,160
HOW COULD WE NOT USE THAT?
216
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:41,205
OH, [bleep],
I'M GONNA PISS MYSELF.
217
00:09:43,124 --> 00:09:44,500
- OKAY, SO, OKAY,
BUT CHECK THIS OUT, OKAY?
218
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,920
SO THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE,
MAN, I WAS STRAIGHT KICKING GAME
219
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,797
TO THIS BEAUTIFUL CHICK,
DIANA, MAN?
220
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,924
AND THE--IT'S A HOUSE PARTY,
AND SO ANYWAY,
221
00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:53,801
I GO TO THE KITCHEN TO GRAB US
A COUPLE OF BEERS, MAN.
222
00:09:53,884 --> 00:09:57,346
I KID YOU NOT,
I SLIPPED ON A BANANA PEEL.
223
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:58,514
A BANANA PEEL.
IT WAS LIKE THIS.
224
00:09:58,597 --> 00:10:02,977
I WAS LIKE--JUST FELL ON MY ASS.
I JUST BUSTED MY ASS.
225
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,521
- A BANANA PEEL?
226
00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:06,856
- LIKE I WAS BUSTER KEATON
OR SOMETHING.
227
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,025
I WAS LIKE--
POO!
228
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,651
[laughter]
229
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,489
IT'S--UH--
230
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,118
- YO--YO, DOG, YOU GOOD?
231
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:23,247
- YEAH, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
232
00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:26,542
- WHAT, ME?
233
00:10:26,625 --> 00:10:29,378
IT WAS A FUNNY STORY.
I WAS LAUGHING.
234
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,255
- THEN LET IT OUT, MAN.
235
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,924
JUST--JUST LAUGH.
236
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:35,051
- I AM.
237
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,095
- YEAH, SO, ANYWAY, YOU KNOW,
SO I GET UP, RIGHT?
238
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,388
AND I GO TO GRAB A BEER,
239
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:41,182
AND I FORGET THEY
ALL WAS SHOOKEN UP
240
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:43,351
WHEN THEY FELL, RIGHT?
241
00:10:43,434 --> 00:10:47,021
I KID YOU NOT, THIS BEER
EXPLODED IN MY CROTCH,
242
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,230
AND IT LOOKED
LIKE I PEED MYSELF.
243
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:51,025
AND NOW I'M TRYING TO WALK,
BUT MY PANTS...
244
00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,778
[laughter]
245
00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:56,280
COME ON, WHAT ARE WE DOING?
246
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:01,327
- DON'T HIT--
- DON'T HIT MY COUCH, LARON.
247
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:01,660
- KEEP YOUR--
248
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,755
- COME ON, YO.
I'M JUST LAUGHING WITH Y'ALL.
249
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,716
- WELL, WE WERE LAUGHING.
250
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,843
YOU WEREN'T--YOU DIDN'T,
YOU KNOW, MAKE ANY NOISE.
251
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:21,847
YOU JUST OPENED YOUR MOUTH,
AND YOU STARTED JIGGLING.
252
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,224
- YOU LOOKED LIKE
A WORM ON CRACK.
253
00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:24,642
- MM-HMM.
254
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:29,271
- I GUESS EVERYBODY JUST
HAS THEIR OWN UNIQUE LAUGH.
255
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,940
- OKAY, MAN,
YOU WERE NOT LAUGHING.
256
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:33,776
YOU WERE NOT EMITTING SOUND
UP OUT YOUR MOUTH, MAN.
257
00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,528
- HEY, I'M GOOD.
258
00:11:35,611 --> 00:11:37,905
TELL YOUR STORY.
259
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,157
- THANK YOU.
OKA--ANYWAY,
260
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:44,245
I WENT BACK TO THE KITCHEN
TO GET TWO FRESH BEERS,
261
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,497
AND SHE SAID, "I HATE BEER,
262
00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:50,251
BUT WHERE DID MY BANANA GO?"
263
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,460
AND SO THEN
WE CALLED HER
264
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:56,215
CHIQUITA DIANA.
265
00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:57,174
THERE HE GOES.
266
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,802
LARON, DON'T BACK UP.
267
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:00,928
HEY.
268
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,721
- COME ON, MAN.
- CUT IT OUT, LARON.
269
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,433
- HEY,
GET AWAY FROM THE TURTLES.
270
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,560
LARON, DON'T DO THIS,
JUST DON'T TOUCH MY TUR--
271
00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,311
[bleep], GET AWAY FROM IT.
272
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:12,690
WHY YOU KNOCKING DOWN MY CDs?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
273
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,233
OKAY, YOU PUT A LAMPSHADE
ON YOUR HEAD?
274
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:16,485
HEY.
- COME ON.
275
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,279
COME ON, THOSE ARE PRICELESS.
- OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
276
00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:19,822
NOW I SAY, LIKE,
YOU DOING IT INTENTIONALLY, NOW.
277
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,282
- ALL RIGHT, SEE?
THAT'S NOT EVEN--YOU KNOW,
278
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:22,741
IT'S ALMOST
LIKE YOU CHOREOGRAPHED IT.
279
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:23,117
- YOU'RE GONNA
CLEAN ALL THIS UP.
280
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,244
- OKAY.
281
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:28,122
- LOOK, HEY, IF YOU'RE GONNA
LAUGH, THEN JUST LAUGH!
282
00:12:28,205 --> 00:12:30,875
DAMN.
283
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,714
- MAYBE SOMETIMES
284
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:40,468
YOU AIN'T AS FUNNY
AS YOU THINK.
285
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:41,886
- ALL RIGHT.
286
00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,012
I GOT SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE
YOU LAUGH.
287
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,681
HUH?
BAP, HUH?
288
00:12:45,764 --> 00:12:46,807
- YEAH, JUST LET IT OUT.
- THERE YOU GO, LARON.
289
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,893
- YEAH, THAT'S FUNNY.
- THAT'S IT, MAN.
290
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,352
- JUST LET IT--OH, NO.
291
00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,856
THAT'S FUNNY, HUH?
- THERE YOU GO, MAN.
292
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,232
- OH! HE GOING BACKWARDS.
- COME ON, BUDDY.
293
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,192
JUST LAUGH, MAN, JUST LAUGH.
YOU KNOW THAT'S FUNNY.
294
00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,860
- THAT'S FUNNY!
- WHY WON'T YOU LAUGH?
295
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,695
- COME ON, JUST LET IT OUT.
- JUST LAUGH, BROTHER.
296
00:12:59,778 --> 00:13:01,113
COME ON, MAN.
- IT'S A ROBOT.
297
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:05,159
- OH, MAN, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK.
- OH, OH, OH, OH, BOOP. BOOP.
298
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:09,038
- LET IT OUT.
- BOOP.
299
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,039
- LET IT OUT, LET IT OUT!
300
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,749
- [screeching roar]
301
00:13:11,832 --> 00:13:13,542
[all screaming]
302
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,670
[roaring continues]
303
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,466
[roaring stops]
304
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:27,932
- SEE, THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T
WANT TO LAUGH.
305
00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:45,491
HAVE A GOOD LIFE.
306
00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,626
- DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
THAT YOU HAD A, LIKE--
307
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:57,002
- NOCTURNAL EMISSION?
308
00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,379
OR A, EVEN A--
309
00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,547
- OKAY, NO, THAT'S--
310
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:02,424
I WAS GONNA SAY, LIKE,
A GOOD, REALLY GOOD SANDWICH,
311
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,385
BUT A NOCTURNAL EMISSION.
312
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:07,096
A WET DREAM, LET'S GO.
313
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,973
- IS THAT YOU WERE--
YOU WERE GONNA SAY SANDWICH?
314
00:14:09,056 --> 00:14:10,015
- YEAH, I WAS GONNA SAY, YEAH,
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME--
315
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,476
THE FIRST TIME
YOU HAD A REALLY GREAT SANDWICH?
316
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:13,852
YOU TALK ABOUT WET DREAMS.
317
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,854
- NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
- DO YOU REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME
318
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:20,859
YOU HAD A WET DREAM
ABOUT A SANDWICH?
319
00:14:20,943 --> 00:14:22,778
'CAUSE I DO.
- 1987.
320
00:14:22,861 --> 00:14:25,739
1987.
321
00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,122
- BRAVO, WELCOME.
WELCOME.
322
00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:34,498
SIT ANYWHERE YOU LIKE.
SIT HERE.
323
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,792
SIT HERE, IN THE OTHER ONE.
YOU WANT TO SIT RIGHT HERE.
324
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:37,876
THAT'S A GOOD LADY.
325
00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:39,128
YES, ALL RIGHT.
326
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:40,212
FIRST TIME?
FIRST TIME?
327
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:40,629
- FIRST TIME?
- IS THE FIRST TIME?
328
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,464
FIRST TIME?
329
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:43,465
- FIRST TIME?
- FIRST TIME FOR YOU?
330
00:14:43,549 --> 00:14:44,592
FIRST TIME?
- YES.
331
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:45,759
- ALL RIGHT!
332
00:14:45,843 --> 00:14:50,055
DOBRO, DOBRO,
GOOD, ALL RIGHT.
333
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,432
- SO WHAT'S GOOD?
334
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:53,017
- WELL, I TELL YOU RIGHT--
335
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,226
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE KEBAPI.
336
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:55,477
KEBAPI IS WHAT YOU
ARE GOING TO HAVE, OKAY?
337
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:58,689
- OH, DON'T THEY SERVE THAT
IN THE CAFE ACROSS THE STREET?
338
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,232
- NO!
339
00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:05,446
YOU CANNOT GET THE KEBAPI
AT THE CAFE ACROSS THE STREET!
340
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:10,117
[yelling in foreign language,
pans clattering]
341
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,243
- WHAT?
WHAT DID I SAY?
342
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,495
- ACROSS THE STREET IS ALBANIAN.
343
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:19,293
THIS CAFE, MACEDONIAN.
344
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:21,629
MACEDONIAN.
345
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:29,511
- MY FRIENDS,
346
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:33,849
I LIKE TO APOLOGIZE
FOR THE BEHAVIOR OF MY PASSION.
347
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:36,935
I JUST FEEL BAD IN MY BRAIN
FOR PEOPLE TO THINK
348
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:41,106
THAT YOUR MOUTHS
WILL HAVE BEEN RAPED BY THE FOOD
349
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:45,611
THAT THEY SERVING AT
THIS ALBANIAN MOTHER OF BITCHES.
350
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:49,865
THIS MOTHER BITCHES, SONS
OF MY BITCH ACROSS THE STREET,
351
00:15:49,948 --> 00:15:54,953
WHAT THEY BE SERVING IS CEVAPI.
352
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,373
- AND--AND WHAT DO
YOU SERVE HERE?
353
00:15:57,456 --> 00:16:00,125
- WE SERVE THE KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
354
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,919
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
355
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:03,462
- KEBAPI.
356
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:07,549
- KEBAPI.
- KE...BA...PI.
357
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,717
- KEBAPI.
358
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,553
- KEBAPI.
- NO, LOOK AT MOUTH.
359
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,347
- KE...
- KE...
360
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:14,473
- BA...
- BA...
361
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:16,058
- PI.
- PI.
362
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:17,309
- BAPI.
- BAPI.
363
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:18,352
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
364
00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:18,894
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
365
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:19,812
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
366
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,480
- NOW YOU KNOW WHY
YOU'RE GETTING IT.
367
00:16:21,563 --> 00:16:22,690
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
368
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:23,982
- KEBAPI.
- YOU GOT IT.
369
00:16:24,066 --> 00:16:26,402
YOU FINALLY DID IT, PERFECT.
- KEBAPI.
370
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:30,364
- WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN KEBAPI AND CEVAPI?
371
00:16:30,447 --> 00:16:33,492
- BUT THEY DON'T KNOW.
372
00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,244
NO.
373
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,078
- I HAVE TO FORGIVE THEM, RIGHT?
374
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:41,834
- IT DOES SEEM THEY'RE NICE,
ABUD.
375
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:44,628
- FOR THE BASTARD MOTHER
BITCHES OVER THERE
376
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,797
THAT ARE SERVING
THE CEVAPI...
377
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,258
- UH-HUH.
- PUT IN THE GRILLED MEAT,
378
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:52,928
SALT, CHOPPED RED PEPPER,
DICED ONION,
379
00:16:53,011 --> 00:16:56,724
CREAM, KAJMAK, AJVAR,
380
00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,101
THEN THE COTTAGE CHEESE.
381
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,770
[laughs]
382
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:04,272
- SO WHAT--WHAT DO YOU SERVE?
383
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,983
- WE SERVE THE KEBAPI.
384
00:17:06,066 --> 00:17:10,612
AND WE PUT IN
THE COTTAGE CHEESE, THE AJVAR,
385
00:17:10,695 --> 00:17:13,531
THE KAJMAK,
THE CREAM, YOU KNOW?
386
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,367
THEN IT'S THE DICED ONIONS...
387
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:16,617
- IT SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE--
388
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,829
- CHOPPED PEPPER,
AND THEN GRILLED MEAT.
389
00:17:19,913 --> 00:17:22,750
THEN THE GRILLED MEAT.
390
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:23,709
AND THEN WE STIR IT.
391
00:17:23,791 --> 00:17:26,753
- AND ACROSS THE STREET,
THEY DO--
392
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,299
- THOSE MOTHER BITCHES
OVER THERE, THEY MIX IT!
393
00:17:30,382 --> 00:17:36,138
THE SONS OF MOTHER, MOTHER SONS
OF LIAR, AY-YI-YI-YI!
394
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:43,103
[speaking foreign language]
395
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,646
- I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MEAN.
396
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:47,649
- [continue shouting]
397
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,443
- OH, MY GOD!
- I SHOW YOU!
398
00:17:49,526 --> 00:17:50,486
I'M GONNA SHOW YOU!
399
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,571
WE ARE HERE.
THEY ARE THERE.
400
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:53,697
WE ARE HERE, THEY ARE THERE.
401
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:57,242
HERE, THERE, HERE,
THERE, HERE, THERE, HERE--STOP.
402
00:17:57,326 --> 00:17:59,828
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO.
403
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,373
[folk music playing]
404
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,919
- GOOD DECISION, MY FRIENDS.
- YES, YES, YES.
405
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,839
- NOW IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO TRY
THE REAL GOOD FOOD,
406
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,552
NOT WHAT THIS SON OF MY BITCHES
407
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:19,056
SERVE ACROSS THE STREET.
408
00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,850
- UM, MCDONALDS?
- SURE, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
409
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:33,362
- MAKE SURE TO GIVE US
THE FIVE STARS ON YELP!
410
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:34,905
- WHERE IS HE?
411
00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:38,367
- STANLEY.
- HUH?
412
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:39,701
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
413
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,578
- OH, COME ON, I KNOW
YOU'VE BEEN CHEATING ON ME.
414
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:42,871
- YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
415
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,249
- ANDREA, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
416
00:18:45,332 --> 00:18:49,837
I KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN [bleep]
A DOG BEHIND MY BACK.
417
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:50,712
- WHAT?
418
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,507
A DOG?
A DOG?
419
00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,050
THAT IS INSANE.
420
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,886
- THEN WHY DID I FIND THIS
IN THE LAUNDRY ROOM, HUH?
421
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,013
[dog barks in the distance]
422
00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:02,766
OH, MY GOD,
HE'S HERE RIGHT NOW, ISN'T HE?
423
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:06,311
HE'S IN MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW!
424
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,479
- WAIT, STANLEY, NO!
WAIT!
425
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:11,066
[growling]
426
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:13,151
- IT WAS YOU!
427
00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:14,278
[screaming and struggling]
428
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:15,404
- [gasps]
429
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,905
- YOU S--OW!
WHAT HA--
430
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:17,948
AAH!
[dog yipping]
431
00:19:18,031 --> 00:19:20,242
[growling]
432
00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,160
- [exclaiming]
433
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,413
- AAH!
434
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:27,749
[screaming]
435
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:28,750
[dog growling]
436
00:19:28,834 --> 00:19:31,044
[grunting]
437
00:19:32,087 --> 00:19:33,297
- [mouthing inaudibly]
GO.
438
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,973
- COME HERE.
439
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:56,528
OH.
440
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:57,237
I SEE.
441
00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:03,660
YOU...
442
00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,623
NEED TO KNOW...
443
00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:11,460
YOUR DOG RUINED
A TEN-YEAR MARRIAGE.
444
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:16,256
[dog whimpers]
445
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,174
AND YOU CAN GO TO HELL.
446
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,768
NO, HE'S CUTE, HE'S CUTE.
I CAN SEE WHY YOU LIKE HIM.
447
00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:34,024
WHO WAS THE FIRST GIRL
YOU KISSED?
448
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:36,276
YOU GOT TO KNOW THAT.
- FIRST GIRL I KISSED?
449
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:37,819
- I SHOULDN'T ASK NAMES.
I JUST DON'T WANT TO--
450
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:40,364
- NO, IT WAS, IT WAS, IT WAS--
I WAS, LIKE, FIVE.
451
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:43,825
SHE WAS SIX.
IT WAS CRAZY.
452
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:47,371
- TURBULENT RELATIONSHIP?
- IT WAS MOVING TOO FAST.
453
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:48,872
I ENDED UP WITH COOTIES.
- OH, NO.
454
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:51,333
- IT WAS TERMINAL.
- OH, BOY.
455
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,668
- STILL HAVE IT.
456
00:20:52,751 --> 00:20:54,878
I'M FIGHTING
A SUSTAINED COOTIES INFECTION.
457
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,672
- INFECTION, YEAH.
458
00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:58,632
- ♪ I'M GONNA DO
MY ONE LINE HERE ♪
459
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,592
- OH, YEAH.
460
00:21:04,012 --> 00:21:04,930
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
461
00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:05,973
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
462
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:06,974
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
463
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,016
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
464
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,267
- KEBAPI.
465
00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:10,352
- THAT'S CLOSE ENOUGH
FOR YOU TO DO IT, KEBAPI.
466
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,353
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
467
00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:12,688
- KEBAPI.
- IT'S KEBAPI.
468
00:21:12,771 --> 00:21:13,230
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
469
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:15,023
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
470
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,024
- KEBAPI.
- KEBAPI.
32598
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