Original subtitles

RIP-FIXES-SYNC by VaVooM

Hi, this is Lucy, leave a message.

Hi, sorry I missed you again.

So I have one quick meeting with my mentor

and then I'm on my way to you, I will meet you in town square,

and then we're gonna wrap that tree in so much tinsel,

they're gonna be able to see it from outer space.

I love you, call me back.

Come in.

Merry Christmas.

Sharon, congratulations.

How do you feel?

I am still in absolute shock.

I mean, the MacAdam's Fellowship,

it's just one of those things that you joke about winning,

but I never actually expected to be nominated.

Well, I can't think of anybody more deserving.

Come.

Okay.

I know I'm not supposed to ask, but did you nominate me?

Sharon Harper.

You know as well as I do that nominations

are to remain anonymous.

But on a completely unrelated note, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Look, they already know that you're a brilliant neuroscientist.

If you wanna stand out, you're gonna have to focus

on the future, not the past.

Tell them how you'd like to change the world.

Don't overthink it.

Do you have any fun holiday plans?

I do.

Yes.

I'm going home now to celebrate

with my cousin Lucy and her husband.

Is this the first time you're going home since...

The funeral, yeah.

I've gotten quite a few messages

from my grandmother's estate attorney

about my part of the will, and so I have to handle that.

But it's gonna be great.

My grandmother loved Christmas,

so it's the perfect way to celebrate her.

That sounds great.

Is your town the kinda town that likes to go all out for Christmas?

There she is.

I'm here.

Where are you?

Sorry, I went home.

My feet were killing me.

Can you scoop me up here instead?

Of course, I will come to you.

You okay, Share Bear?

Yeah, it's, you know, it's strange being back.

When I was here in January...

It was not exactly the most wonderful time of the year.

Yeah.

I'm actually having a real hard time

getting in the spirit this year without her.

I can't even imagine how much harder it must be for you.

Oh stop, she was your grandmother too.

Gramma Vera was the world's best grandmother to me.

But she raised you.

Yes, yes, and she also taught us

that no matter how hard things get,

that Christmas is an all-out joyfest,

and we are not gonna let our Christmas blues

get in the way of celebrating her,

we are going to do this thing right.

Which way are you facing?

Towards the Christmas shop.

Okay, turn.

Turn.

Turn.

Stop.

You are a genius.

I am getting us a dozen snickerdoodles.

Actually, could you get me

salted chocolate chip cookies and a jar of mayo?

Sharon?

Okay.

See ya soon.

Sharon.

Andrea, hi!

It's so good to see you.

It's so good to see you!

I was hoping that you could swing by the counseling center.

We renamed it after gramma Vera. Naturally, since she was its founder.

I did not hear that. That is so wonderful.

Sharon Harper, is that you?

Hi miss Pat. How are you?

I'm headed to Holly and Ivy.

- Me too. - Okay.

Good morning.

I read about your latest study in psychology now.

It looked like it got excellent peer reviews.

Thank you so much for reading it.

Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.

Coffee black and a plain croissant.

Now, I heard a rumor that you are nominated

for some big fancy award?

The MacAdam's Fellowship, yeah, it's a creative award.

But I thought you were a scientist.

Well, science is very creative.

I am so excited for you.

Sharon.

Yeah.

Ethel.

Snickerdoodles.

How did you know?

Hi.

Nick, Nick, get out here.

Coming, coming, coming.

It's little Sharon snickerdoodle Harper.

Hey, where's Lucy?

Well, that's actually why I'm here.

She would like a dozen of the salted chocolate chip cookies,

specific craving request.

I'm on it.

Thank you.

Vera did say that you weren't married,

and I think my David would be a wonderful option for you.

David?

Please.

My Wyatt is handsome and a firefighter.

- Sharon. - Yes.

Sharon Harper.

Hi.

Sam Taylor, your grandmother's estate attorney.

Oh yeah, of course, it's nice to meet you.

- Likewise. - Yeah.

Pardon me, do you have a quick second to chat?

Absolutely.

- Yep. - Thank you.

These are on the house.

Thank you guys, I will be seeing you soon.

Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much.

Trust me, I've been there.

They mean well, but it can be a lot.

Have we met?

I am your grandmother's estate attorney,

that was not just great improv.

No, no, no, that's not it.

I'm also her next-door neighbor.

Yes!

Yeah, Sam Sam, see, I knew you looked familiar.

I've heard so much about you.

- Really? - Yeah.

I've heard a lot about you too.

It's nice to officially meet you outside of a few neighborly waves.

Yeah, well, work has been so busy that Christmas has been

more of a fly in, fly out extravaganza

for the last, well, how long have you been here?

- Six years. - Six years?

It's so weird we never met.

It's always busy at the holidays, probably just bad timing.

So if you have a little bit of time tomorrow,

maybe we could go through the last part

of your grandmother's will.

Actually, do you have time today?

4:00?

Sounds great.

- Okay. - Bye.

For me?

You shouldn't have.

I didn't!

Sorry, Roland, you have been usurped by your child-to-be.

- Hey. - Merry Christmas!

I know, I look like I'm short two wise men.

Listen, I was hoping you'd talk

some frankin-sense into your cousin.

There's that wit.

She's very excited to see you, but she's also quite...

Fully capable of deciding what she can and can't handle.

Hi!

Hi!

You look so amazing!

Thank you.

- So good to see you! - So good to see you.

- You got the goods? - Oh, yes, how could I forget?

The goods.

The goods.

Cookies.

- And? - Mayo.

Thank you!

Yum, okay, can you take these inside?

Yep.

Thank you.

Okay, bye sweetie!

Bye, have fun!

I could understand if you're a little nervous

to be back at her house, because...

This is the first time I'm staying here without her.

- Right! - Right.

But I am not gonna let that overshadow

a lifetime of happy memories, right?

Right.

Because you're not gonna do it alone.

Okay.

All right.

Ready?

Yep.

Thank you.

So tell me about this crazy award again.

The award is half a million dollars.

Half a million dollars?

Yeah, yeah.

And you can use it to advance your expertise

or jumpstart a new project, change career paths altogether,

but either way, it is insane that someone nominated me.

No it isn't.

You've always been super smart.

Thank you.

Now, the interview is on the 30th,

and I just have to come up with a plan

of how I would use the money.

Knowing you, I'm sure you've come up

with a color-coded 100 page plan.

It is 50 pages, thank you very much, and color-coded.

But I will probably use the money for my research,

if I get it, and that is a big if.

Sharon.

Yeah.

Take a break.

Not until I hang the 12 days of Christmas ornaments.

Do it later.

No!

These were my favorite when I was a kid.

- Especially the... - Two turtle doves, I know.

I remember the tears the year I tried to hang it

instead of letting you.

You know what, that was my ornament,

and gramma Vera said so.

I gotta go, I'm gonna be late.

I will see you in an hour?

I love you?

Yeah?

Okay.

Love you too.

Just one second, I wanna make sure everything's in order.

This is your daughter Mikayla, right?

Yes, although she's twice as big and twice as loud now.

She's really cute.

Gramma Vera talked a lot about her.

Yeah, we liked to claim Vera as family.

We got very close after Mikayla's mom died.

I really felt like she should talk to someone,

and there's no one better than Vera.

That is true.

I'm sorry about your wife.

I'm really sorry about your grandma.

Thanks.

Would you like to have a seat?

Yeah.

Okay.

I didn't know that gramma Vera was Mikayla's therapist.

I mean, not that she would've ever said anything.

No, no, I guess that makes sense.

Help yourself.

Thank you.

Never pass up a cookie.

Okay, so, here's the deal.

Vera knew that you had a very full life

outside of Pine Springs, and she did not want you

to feel obligated to have to maintain a house

that was in a town that you didn't want to live in.

She also wanted to make sure that you got the decision

before it went to someone else, since you grew up here.

She is still somehow the most considerate human being

I have ever known.

This is where it gets tricky, though.

She has compiled a list of Harper family

Christmas traditions, and she would like you

to complete all of them before Christmas,

at which point in time you would then be able

to make the decision about the house.

I'm gonna let her explain it to you.

Wait, what?

She thought it might be better coming from her.

After Jennie died, I really wished that I had

more things with her voice, and so we both agreed

that it might be nice to record her explanation.

Okay, so I'm gonna just leave this here,

and you just press play whenever you're ready,

I'm gonna step outside, just give you a second.

Let me know when it's ready.

I pushed record, you can start any time.

Well, that's not a great start.

Say hi to Sharon, Sam.

Hi Sharon.

Right.

Okay.

My dearest Sharon, please know that I am

squeezing you right now, even if you can't feel it.

I am so proud of the woman you've become, Share Bear.

After your mother passed away,

it occurred to me that I might leave this world

while you're still fairly young.

So I started jotting down the family Christmas traditions

in these journals, so you'll always have a connection

to the Harper women who love you.

So these are yours, written to you,

because I know this first Christmas without me

might be hard.

In my experience, having something positive to focus on

is the best way to keep going.

And because, my little scientist,

I know you love clear parameters for an experiment,

I'm giving you until Christmas to complete

12 of these traditions, one for each of our cherished

12 days of Christmas ornaments.

And I promise you, if you do 12 of these by Christmas,

you won't need more time, you'll know if this house

and this town are the place for you or not.

There's no wrong answer, Sharon, only discovery.

I want you to know that so much, my love.

From here, there is only discovery.

I love you.

Hey, how are you doing?

Good.

I'm good.

Would you like some water?

No, no, it's okay.

You know what, I think I'm just gonna go

and process all of this, you know?

If there's anything else I can do for you...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank you so much.

Thank you, and for the cookie.

Thank you.

Hey, and remember, I live right next door.

Yep.

I know, thank you so much, thank you.

How are you feeling?

I am feeling like someone cracked my heart open

and fried it like an egg.

That is vivid, but understandable.

I really just thought that I was gonna relax,

sign some papers, and then get back to work.

But it's sweet, in a way.

It sounds like she was worried about this first Christmas

and wanted to give you something positive to focus on.

Something positive to focus on.

It's tough, but it's important to remember

that we're hurting because we lost someone worth missing.

Have you ever heard of synaptic pruning?

How did we get here?

Okay.

So, our brains are full of neurons that are wired together,

and these connections, they get stronger or weaker

based on our experiences, so what we focus on grows.

Okay, so if we focus on the sad things,

then our brains will theoretically rewire

to focus on the sad things, but if we focus on

the happy things, say, our grandmother's

amazing Christmas traditions, those things will grow

and our brains will be wired to focus on the love, not the loss.

I'm not gonna bypass my grief with positivity.

Besides, gramma Vera always said

"sometimes you just have to sit with the hard things."

Or, or we could go ice skating,

or have a cup of the best hot cocoa in town,

or decorate the house, she said those things too,

and wouldn't that feel so much better?

I wish I had your energy, but this?

This is hard for me still, and I was hoping with you home,

I wouldn't be alone in that.

But you won't be alone.

You won't, we would be doing these things together,

and then she would also get to be a part of it.

Do you remember that every year,

there is a competition on our street

for best Christmas lights?

We may not take top prize every year,

but I am proud to say our house never disappoints.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi, just wanted to check on you, see how you're doing,

I feel really bad about the way things

went down in my office, I shouldn't have

sprung it on you like that.

No, no, it's fine.

You know, I'm actually really excited about this,

it gives me something positive to focus on.

- Okay, well. - Yeah.

Are you sure you wanna start positively focusing tonight?

It's gonna be dark in like 11 minutes.

Yeah, maybe you're right, I got a little overexcited.

Look.

In my experience, sometimes plans can...

Sam, you seem like a great guy.

Gramma Vera's five-star review of you feels pretty accurate.

And I appreciate your concern.

But I'm doing great, I am.

I mean, crossing off a list is very satisfying

for my type a puzzle-loving brain.

I mean, there are such doozies as, you know,

watching a Christmas movie marathon

while wearing fuzzy socks.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you, though.

I will let you know when I have made a decision about the house.

- Okay. - Okay.

See, now that's a rookie mistake.

You always put the clips on the lights

before you climb the ladder, you know, so that...

Okay, I can't watch this anymore.

Mikayla!

Go run and get your coat!

Okay, uncle Alex!

Excuse me, hi.

You look like you could use a hand.

You know what, if my 83-year-old grandmother

can do it, so can I.

She didn't.

She asked me to do it.

At least for like the last couple years.

Anyways, I'm Alex, by the way, and this is...

The famous Mikayla!

Gramma Vera talked so much about you.

She did?

Yeah.

Are you Dr. Harper?

I am.

But you can call me Sharon.

Gramma Vera told me that once you get a doctorate,

everybody has to call you doctor,

and I thought that was pretty cool.

It is pretty cool.

Are you finished decorating inside yet?

Because I used to be one of gramma Vera's best helpers.

I heard that.

I heard that last year, you were her very best elf.

Well, I still have to buy a tree, and I have to decorate it.

By yourself?

Well, I think I can handle a tree.

No, I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying that

can and have to might be different things.

The only things that I really know about you,

gramma Vera told me.

So tell me something about yourself.

I'm the lawyer, I should be the one interrogating.

I will point to Exhibit A, I was raised by a therapist.

- Good point. - Yeah.

What do you wanna know?

- That's sweet. - That's kinda nice.

How do you like your coffee?

Black.

Coffee with milk and sugar defeats the whole point

of drinking coffee.

What is your most controversial opinion?

I don't believe in naps.

But naps are life.

I do believe in late lazy Saturday mornings, though.

- Yeah, that's just... - Yeah.

What is your version of the most wonderful

time of the year?

Well, I have a 10-year-old, so whatever makes her happy.

Yeah, but you must have some kind of preferences,

you know, some things that you love.

Dr. Sharon.

What about this one?

Well now this, I love.

It's perfect.

What do you think?

Whatever you like.

It's the one.

Okay, one, two, three!

- Okay, you good? - Yeah.

All righty.

Thank you guys.

Yeah, let's get this thing decorated.

Come on guys.

You know what, you don't have to sweetie.

Hey, Mikayla.

Make sure uncle Alex doesn't get pine needles

all over her house, please.

On it.

Look, do not feel obligated to have her help,

but if you do need an extra set of hands,

she really loved doing this with Vera last year.

You know what, that would be really nice.

It's kind of empty in there decorating the house by myself.

I get that.

Take it from me, nothing fills up an empty house

like an enthusiastic 10-year-old.

I put all of the angels on the top shelf,

and then I put the manger on the middle shelf,

and the three wise men go on the bottom shelf

so that the whole...

whole bookcase tells a story.

That is exactly how gramma Vera taught me to do it.

Yes.

You can take over here.

Put those on there.

- Thank you. - Okay so.

Put me to work.

It's always soft and squishy on the bottom, got it?

All right.

And then anything that's sparkly

goes in front of a light so it can send rainbows.

And she's absolutely right, absolutely right.

Soft and squishy, high as we can go.

No!

You put it down here.

Hey, thanks for letting me help.

I'm really glad you're here.

I am really glad you're here.

This was always my favorite part to do with gramma Vera.

Yeah?

This was my second favorite part.

Can you guess my favorite?

I'm gonna give you a hint.

Hanging stockings?

So close!

Hanging the 12 days of Christmas ornaments on there.

What are those?

What?

I never did that with her.

Wait a second, wait a second,

you are going to love this, okay.

Alex, there's an antique wooden box

in that pile of boxes, do you mind finding it for me?

Yeah, sure.

All right, so.

Gramma Vera made these journals for me

and they have all of our family traditions in here.

Here, okay.

So on this page, she talks all about

the 12 days of Christmas ornaments.

So a long, long time ago, my great-great-great,

let's just say seven greats grandfather.

He was an artist and he worked with ceramics.

My mom did that.

Really?

Oh yeah, that's why we moved here,

so she could open a shop, she was a very talented artist.

That is so cool.

So he fell in love with my seven greats grandmother,

but her parents didn't approve of them getting married.

Why not?

I'm sure they had very specific ideas

about who they wanted her to marry, probably, yes,

and that was very common back then,

we don't do that anymore.

No, we do not.

So he made her these ornaments.

All right, I think I found it.

Yes, yay!

Here, come here, come here, come here.

Forbidden love, that's a pretty juicy

family history right there.

I know.

Well, they actually had to leave for America

before he had time to make the partridge in the pear tree,

so there's a family legend now

that the two turtle doves makes people fall in love.

That was my favorite part.

I loved how gramma Vera told the story,

and I like the ritual of it.

Where's the two turtle doves?

There's only 10.

What?

No.

She's right, there's only 10 ornaments in there.

But that doesn't make any sense.

Well, it's gotta be here somewhere.

Look, I pulled out all the boxes,

if it's not in one of those boxes,

then I don't know where it would be.

We're gonna find it, okay?

We're all gonna help you, right guys?

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

I'll check the rest of those boxes.

We'll find it, it's okay.

Dr. Sharon, it's Mikayla.

Yeah, come on in.

Hey.

Hey guys, what's going on?

We were sad that we couldn't find

the ornament yesterday, and so Mikayla

wanted to make you something to help you feel better.

It's a placeholder.

This is perfect.

Thank you so much.

Come here.

So, I was gonna hang one ornament

for each tradition that we crossed off gramma Vera's list.

This is the one for decorating the house.

Can I do it?

Absolutely.

Any leads?

No, I'm gonna stop by gramma Vera's old office,

and then if it's not there, I'm gonna

turn Lucy's house inside-out.

Well that's a start.

Well, let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

I'm a great detective.

I bet you are.

So does that mean I'm gonna see you guys later?

Yeah, we'll see you later.

Good.

Great, thank you again.

Buh-bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

Hey.

Hi.

Hi, I just wanted to give you a five-minute warning

before the next appointment.

Thank you.

Any luck?

Nothing.

No.

Do you know anywhere else she might've stashed it?

No, if it's not in one of those boxes, then it's not here.

But you might try to do some sleuthing

at the town tree lighting tonight.

A couple of years ago the mayor invited every family

to hang one personal ornament on the town tree,

so maybe there was a mix-up there.

That is a great idea.

I will definitely do that.

Thank you.

And I'll clean everything up, just give me two seconds.

- Thank you. - Thank you so much.

One of my favorite days of every Christmas season

was watching your face when you came home from school

and saw Santa and his reindeer right there, at our house.

You told me as long as we displayed our Santa,

the real Saint Nick would always know he was welcome here.

I thought that was the cutest thing I'd ever heard.

And so every year, up he goes.

What are you doing?

If you don't know, then I'm worse off than I thought.

Okay, here, let me help you, stay there.

No, it's balanced, I'm almost there.

Nope, I got it.

See?

I'm assembling Santa and his reindeer.

Why?

So Santa knows that he's welcome, right?

There.

Wasn't this list supposed to bring you Christmas joy?

What is more joyful than Santa?

I don't know, maybe not assembling

a 15-foot lawn ornament all by yourself.

You know what, okay.

You don't appreciate my Santa, you don't like sweets,

you don't have a tree preference.

I'm starting to think you just don't like Christmas.

Okay.

- First... - That's heavy.

Nobody enjoys assembling these things by themselves.

I'm having a great time!

Right, okay, talk to me tomorrow

when everything hurts.

That is not my point.

You're evading my point, which is you don't like Christmas.

I think you're a secret Scrooge.

- Let's do this one. - All right.

- Right to this one, okay. - Yeah.

You know, the first year after Jennie died,

I went all out for Christmas.

We just had a rough year, and I was so excited

to finally have something to celebrate.

Man, I did the cookies, half-eaten carrots,

little hoof prints through the snow,

and there was a suit involved.

That sounds amazing.

Yeah, Mikayla still talks about it.

It had to be this big, over-the-top thing

that would distract her from the fact

that her mom wasn't there, and it had to be

a big enough gesture to remind her that I always would be,

and that Santa would be there too.

You are a really great dad.

Doing all that without Jennie,

I wanted to sleep right through January.

It was rough.

Yeah.

Last one.

I don't understand why anyone

who doesn't have kids would want to do this.

I mean, I would be inside by the fire,

reveling in the joys of adulting.

Well, it's because I'm not doing it for me either.

I'm trying to remember her.

Why is this so hard?

Why is she making me do this?

Because she loved you.

Come on, let's see how we're lookin' here.

Yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Now we just have to put together Santa's village.

I'm sorry, what?

The traditional lighting

of the town Christmas tree.

I'll never forget the first time you saw it.

The lights came on and your eyes went wide as saucers.

I just love when we light candles and the whole town sings.

There's something so magical

about the stillness in that moment.

Well?

No, looks like she's doing her thing,

I don't think she wants to talk to anyone right now.

Okay, well, I'm sure she'll make an excuse for you.

Come on, let's go see the reindeer.

Oh, yay.

All by yourself over here.

- Hey. - Hey.

Yeah, Andrea mentioned gramma Vera

possibly putting the ornament on the tree.

So I just thought I would...

Yeah, nothing yet though?

Nope.

I checked Lucy's and the counseling center, and nope.

Just a couple of days of nope.

Some guy came and humbugged all over your Santa.

That was really great.

Lighting this tree later tonight.

Yeah.

It used to be one of my favorite traditions.

Is it always gonna be like this?

I just, I keep having these flash memories

of being here with her and my mom,

and if Christmas is gonna be like this,

I just, I don't think I can do it.

Yeah.

First year after Jennie died, it was really hard

not to feel like Christmas was just a giant shadow

that Jennie would just, she would light up the whole house.

But whether she was gone or not,

I was not gonna let how I felt about Christmas

ruin it for Mikayla, 'cause she's a kid,

she gets to be a kid once, and when you're a kid,

Christmas should be magical no matter what.

How did you do that?

No, seriously, I'm just by myself and I can barely do it.

At first I took it one step at a time.

Like driving with your headlights on, you know,

you just focus as far as you can see.

And most importantly, you don't do it alone.

My brother Alex, he moved here just to help me out.

And Vera, and Nick, and Ethel, yeah,

a whole town full of wonderfully nosy neighbors

who were ready to help make Christmas Magic happen

when I didn't feel like I had it in me.

You're welcome to join us if you want.

Okay.

- Dad! - Hey.

I pet the reindeer!

Nice.

And he licked the corn right out of my hand.

Gross!

And awesome.

So, Dr. Sharon, did you find the ornament yet?

I did not, but thank you so much for asking.

It's okay, we'll find it.

Please join me in the traditional lighting

of the Pine Springs Christmas tree.

Five!

Four!

Three!

Two!

One!

And as your mayor, I want to welcome

everyone who's come near and far to join us.

The spirit of generosity this town embodies

is truly a miracle every season.

Hello, my friend, Dr. Sharon Harper,

is missing an ornament that used to belong to Vera Harper.

It's white with two birds and a little heart

hanging from it, so if we could all look,

we can make a Christmas miracle.

Thank you and Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Well, I don't think I can top that.

Welcome home, Dr. Sharon Harper.

We will all keep our eyes peeled, yes?

Yes.

And now, please join me in enjoying

the rest of this fine evening, Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Is baking Christmas cookies on your list?

As a matter of fact, it is.

Would you like to bake cookies with me and Mrs. Ethel?

I would love that.

Thank you.

Do you want me to take you, or is your dad coming?

- No... - Yeah, I could swing by.

I thought this was girl time.

Well I will come by at the end, then, and we can hang out for a bit.

Sounds great.

Okay.

Okay, well, good night.

Come on.

Good night.

Now, I'm no Ethel, but I just don't think

it's Christmas without a homemade batch of cookies.

Frosted sugar cookies are my favorite.

But you love a snickerdoodle, just like your mom.

It's so much fun to get your hands messy

and spending time in the kitchen together.

That's my favorite part.

Your favorite part seems to be licking the spoon,

and I can't blame you.

I've got something to check on out front.

Lucy, do you think you can give me a hand?

Absolutely.

Okay.

I have a very important question for you.

What is your favorite Christmas cookie?

I only get one?

You're right, loose top three.

Okay, I like Ethel's snickerdoodles.

Naturally.

Gingerbread cookies.

Crunchy or soft?

Crunchy.

Yeah.

Good choice.

And I like my mom's frosted sugar cookies

that were shaped like snowflakes.

Or at least what I can remember of them.

You know, I lost my mom when I was

just a little bit younger than you.

Yeah, I know.

Gramma Vera told me.

If it makes you feel any better, I never forgot her.

In fact, I feel I know her even better now

than I ever did when I was younger.

Really?

Yeah.

Pinky promise.

Presenting.

Great-gramma Ida's famous lemon cake.

Really?

For your list.

The ornaments, right?

Yeah.

That looks so beautiful.

It smells just the same.

Ready?

Yes, I am ready.

How did you do this?

She fudged the recipe a bit.

'Cause I know back in the day, your great-grandmother

wouldn't have baked with anything but lard, so.

- Lard? - Lard?

I don't wanna know any more.

That's the best, don't ask any questions,

just eat the cake.

Hi ladies.

Hi!

Dad!

Hey, hello.

Hey.

I see we're gettin' into a little dessert before dinner, huh?

Hey Sam, good to see you.

Good to see you too, this looks great.

Thank you for lending me your little helper today.

You're welcome.

We still have two more batches of cookies in the oven.

I wouldn't dare intervene, but it is getting close

to dinnertime, so do you want me to go out

and get takeout or something?

That sounds amazing.

Can we get pizza?

Okay.

You should go to Patsy's.

I was talking to her, and she seemed to recall

Vera mentioned the two turtle doves ornament to her.

Seriously?

It might not be much of a lead, but it's something.

Go.

Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go!

That's fantastic, thank you so much.

I just need to get my jacket.

It's cold, can you, sorry, can you hold that?

So has Vera's list swayed you to the charms

of hometown living?

It would be heartbreaking to give up that house.

But I'm a finalist for a MacAdam's Fellowship,

and my interview is on the 30th.

You just became like 11% more intimidating.

I love my family, and I love my home.

But my work and my everything else is somewhere else,

and moving back home was never part of the plan,

and now I just feel torn between, you know,

my past and my future.

Well, hey, just to be clear, I don't think

the goal was ever to make you choose,

I think it was more to just give you options.

Well, now you sound like my mentor.

It's not a bad thing.

I just have a very clear path for this Fellowship,

and she just keeps urging me to think bigger

than the research, and there's no time for that,

'cause in my field, once you take your foot off the gas,

you just get left in the dust.

Yeah, the New York bubble, I remember that well.

I live in Minneapolis.

Right, okay, I'm just saying, New York is an achiever culture.

Yes.

And people who live there, they think

the world starts at the East River

and it ends at the Hudson River, and I loved being there.

I lived off of that ambitious culture,

that ambitious energy, that relentless pulse,

a lot of Thai food.

Yeah, there's nothing resembling Thai food

in Pine Springs.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, but I firmly believed that leaving Manhattan

would mean a slower life, a slower career,

that I was settling for those things,

that all of my colleagues would rocket past me

to fame and acclaim, and...

So wait, you're saying that that didn't happen?

No, it totally did.

That's not helpful at all!

But it wasn't settling.

It was a new dream.

A yard for my daughter, a chance for my wife

to be a working artist.

What I wanted changed, so the plans changed.

And whatever you choose, that'll be the right thing too.

Do you miss New York?

Yes.

Some days.

But I mean, look at this place.

I know.

It's the perfect place for Mikayla to grow up.

Well what about when she goes to college?

She'll never be that old.

No, I'm not focused on that, I'm just trying to focus

on Mikayla, it's part of being a good dad.

Yes, and also...

And also what?

I am not a parent.

But I lost my mom at a young age, like Mikayla.

And even though gramma Vera was there for me

every step of the way, she also went back to school

and she got her master's degree in social work,

and she opened up her own therapy practice.

And I watched her do that.

She cared for me, yes, but at a time in my life

where I was afraid that being an adult

meant getting sick and dying, she modeled what it was like

to be a happy, fulfilled adult, even after loss.

It was one of the most important things

that she ever gave to me.

Now, it was a long time ago,

so my memory's a little hazy, but she said something

about an ornament that your great-great-grandfather

or whomever never made?

He never made the partridge in a pear tree.

Yes.

And I remember she mentioned something about

maybe she could get someone to make one for her.

Use one of the other ornaments as a model.

Do you have any idea who that was?

I'm not sure she even got around to doing it.

I mean, she just sort of mentioned it in passing.

I'm not sure if that's helpful, but...

it's more than I've had to go on so far.

Thank you so much.

Do not take his money, no no no,

your money's no good here tonight.

Thank you, Patsy.

You're welcome.

Welcome home, honey.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

And I will let you know if I find it.

Great.

Dr. Sharon.

Yes.

Are you going to the Christmas pageant?

Because I'm going to be an angel.

I wouldn't miss it.

Pinky promise?

And then we get hot cocoa.

Mikayla.

What?

Gramma Vera always took us to go get hot cocoa after.

It's on the list.

Have a cup of the best hot cocoa in town.

I'm doing it for 11 pipers piping, you wanna know why?

Why?

Because the cocoa will be piping hot.

Dr. Sharon, seriously?

You're better than that.

I know, I know.

All right.

Sharon?

Hi.

Okay.

So you know how this field works.

I can't just press pause on my research

to pursue some sort of passion project, you know?

Once you lose momentum, there is no going back,

the path is very clear, it is very specific, it is very...

Very limiting.

Which is the beauty of this Fellowship.

I've seen scientists use this award to fund their research,

and that would be great, but I've also seen them use it

to integrate their work into community outreach projects,

to write books, start treatment centers.

So if you win, the question you'll have to answer

is what would you do if there were no more limits?

Well that is a terrifying thought.

Why?

What if I choose something else, and I fail?

You know?

All of that research, all of that work, for nothing.

If you care more about defending your path

than exploring the possibilities right in front of you,

you're gonna get stuck, fast.

Thank you.

I need an elf to help me pass out candies

to these boys and girls, do you think you can help?

Yes.

Merry Christmas.

Well, it's been a year since I was here with gramma Vera.

You know, I can remember the exact fabric

from the chairs in the waiting room,

I can remember pretzels are B7 in the vending machine,

but I have the hardest time remembering

what kind of candy Jennie put in the stocking,

or how many cookies we left out for Santa.

I just wish that I didn't have such flash-bold moments

from those last terrible days,

and then such hazy memories of our best family moments.

And I really wish that when those memories

did come back into focus, they just didn't...

Knock the wind right out of you.

Because they're just memories now.

I know.

This week, it seems the more I try to keep Christmas alive for her,

the more painfully real it becomes that she is not here anymore.

I never would have been able to confront

any of those memories if I hadn't been making new ones with you.

Okay.

I am going to show Sharon

some more Christmas decorations.

Okay.

Well, I am going to do the last of the shopping.

Do you need anything else?

No, yes.

I am in desperate need of wrapping paper.

Okay, cool.

Well, I will see you all later.

Thank you.

Look at this place, did you do all of this by yourself?

No, my dad and uncle Alex helped a little bit, but...

This is one of the first ornaments my mom made.

That is so beautiful.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

And this is the one I made in preschool.

Very nice, I can see where you get your talent.

Thank you.

This is my dad's.

Yes.

Yeah, that one we can just tack around

the back side of the tree there.

Oh no no, I think that this should go front and center.

Right?

- So everyone can see it? - Yes.

Okay, I'm going to show you where all the Santas go.

- Okay. - Come on.

All right.

There are 37 Santas over here, and my mom,

she would always put lights and ribbon on the garland,

and she would always help me put teddy bears up there.

Wait a second.

What happened to the teddy bears?

I think they're with my mom's stuff

in a box in the basement somewhere.

Wait, what?

Which box, I'll go get them, honey.

It's okay.

So, we would always save the tree for last,

for when dad got home.

And while we waited, we would make muddy buddies.

You know what?

I'm gonna need to know what a muddy buddy is.

Okay.

You okay?

I don't remember the teddy bears.

You know what, it sounds like that was something

that was between she and her mom.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.

We would always take these and cover them

with chocolate and peanut butter,

and then shake 'em up in a trash bag with powdered sugar.

I do not remember that.

'Cause we ate 'em all before you got home.

You what?

Well, do you wanna make some now?

No thank you.

Why not?

Because it would make me sad.

Hey.

Sweetheart.

It's okay to be sad.

But you don't get sad.

Sure I do, I miss your mom every day.

Not at Christmas.

You're always happy.

Especially at Christmas.

I just, I don't wanna talk about it

because I want Christmas to be so magical for you.

Because I love you.

And I know that's what your mom wants for you too.

I thought I was the only one that got sad.

You're not alone, okay?

I get sad, uncle Alex gets sad, Sharon gets sad.

I mean, she's been sad all week

because she misses her gramma Vera.

It's true, I have been so sad.

And you know what, talking to your dad about it

has really helped me.

He's actually a really good listener.

You can tell me anything, you can ask me anything.

Okay.

Is Christmas always going to be a little bit sad?

You know what?

I think Christmas sometimes feels sad

because we just want everything to stay the same, you know?

And it can't.

But I realized something this week.

You know all those traditions that gramma Vera

wrote in the journal?

Well, once upon a time, someone made them all up.

Really?

Yeah.

There were no ornaments, and now we hang them

every single year, and my great-grandmother

would make her lemon cake, and now I eat it every Christmas.

Or the Christmas that uncle Alex came down for the first time.

Yes!

So if we can just make space for the past

and also make some fun new memories

that make us so happy, Christmas doesn't have to be as sad.

Does that make sense?

Okay.

So what if you and I do something new?

Would that be fun?

Yeah.

Should we come up with a new cookie?

Should we paint an ornament, we could make a wreath, we could...

Oh yeah, we don't have a wreath!

Okay.

We're making a wreath, then.

Okay, you go get your coat, go get your gloves,

get your hat, and we're gonna get some awesome supplies, okay?

Okay.

I don't know how to make a wreath.

Okay, it's easy, actually, you just bend some branches

and get some snazzy ribbon.

I don't know how to get snazzy with ribbon.

Well, you know, a really wise person

once told me that you don't have to do it alone.

You've got Alex and you've got Nick,

and you've got Ethel, and you've got a whole town

of really nosy neighbors that will help.

And me.

You got me.

And I can get really snazzy with a ribbon.

Did you mean what you said about making Christmas new?

Not until I said it.

And when I said it, it hit me that it was true.

Okay, I'm ready.

- Let's go. - Yeah.

Did you know wreaths are a Christmas symbol

for eternity, because they have no beginning, and no end.

I will forever remember making wreathes with you

and your mother.

It was a nice reminder when I needed it most

that life may be brief, but some things are everlasting.

All right, let's see it, let's see it.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Hold it up.

- That is beautiful. - Oh my gosh.

It's beautiful.

What do you think?

I like it.

I like it too.

I like it a lot.

I think I'm going to go hang this on the front door.

- Perfect. - Good idea.

And thank you guys, because making a Christmas wreath

was on gramma Vera's list, and now I can cross that off.

See that?

You're welcome.

I think I should give you guys some time alone.

No, look, you don't, it's really fine.

No, besides, I have a Christmas movie marathon

to cross off my list.

Look, I mean, there must be some kinda rule in there

about not watching a Christmas movie alone, right?

I might've read that somewhere.

And hey, even if you didn't read it in there...

Stop shaking it.

Don't shake it, stop.

Thank you guys so much for indulging me.

Oh no, twist my arm, movie night.

Is it time to press play?

I call sitting by Sharon.

I call dibs on the armchair.

Get in here.

There you go.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Okay, we're ready.

It's from London.

Mr. Gower cabled you need cash, stop.

My office instructed to advance you up to $25,000, stop.

Heehaw and Merry Christmas, Sam Wainwright.

Will you just...?

Yeah.

Morning.

Good morning.

I was wondering if Mikayla wanted to

go ice skating tonight, you know?

Keep the streak alive.

She's actually at a sleepover at her friend Kara's house.

Well.

Worth a shot.

Have a good day.

I could go.

You know, you don't have to.

Maybe we could go out to dinner before, or...

Yeah?

Yeah.

I mean, hey, you have lots of crossing off to do,

and list takes priority, but hey,

ice skating alone sounds a little...

- Well, not as much fun. - No.

No.

Okay.

Yeah.

Dinner and ice skating.

- Dinner and ice skating. - Yeah.

- I'll see you tonight. - See you tonight.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to date him, by the way.

It's just...

I know, I know, it's not a good idea

to start something if I don't plan on staying.

Look, I now can't imagine not being here for that baby,

and I can't imagine not having Christmas in that house,

and I can't imagine not seeing Mikayla run across the yard,

or Sam.

Or Sam.

And I also can't imagine walking away

from everything that I have worked for for my entire life,

and by the way, the interview, it's in 48 hours now.

I don't wanna pick.

I don't wanna pick.

You've got a double whammy right now.

You are confronting the death of gramma Vera,

probably after outrunning it all year,

if I know you at all, and I do.

Plus it's Christmas.

A whole season of new beginnings in the midst

of unlikely circumstances.

Death and birth and miracles, those are all

terrible times to make permanent decisions.

Yeah, well you know what?

Gramma Vera didn't exactly leave me a lot of time.

Gramma Vera, she was a wonderful grandmother,

and I loved her, but that was a bad deal,

and I think you should ignore it.

Keep the house for now.

Sell it later.

Take a sabbatical from work and write or paint, or whatever.

Ask them to delay the interview for the award.

I don't think it works that way.

Just because that's not the way it works

doesn't mean it shouldn't work better than the way it works.

You know what, you were on a real roll until then.

I just can't believe that a smart woman like you

can't buy herself some more time, and some better options.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Here we are. - Here we are.

So any luck with the ornament?

No.

And I think that's okay.

Yeah, I think that I am just gonna take a break,

and focus on the good things that I have left

right in front of me.

Now it's my turn to cross-examine you.

- My goodness. - Yeah.

Do you bring a lot of dates to Chez Noel, Samuel?

Objection, leading the witness.

Overruled.

I have frequented Chez Noel many times, but no.

I can't say that I've brought many dates here.

That would require dating.

Is that because you didn't want to,

or because the options were limited?

At first, I didn't want to.

In the beginning, I was just really trying

to take it one step at a time.

But then when I was finally open to it,

I remembered that I live in a very small town.

So this not only limits your options...

it insures that everyone knows how that date went

by the time they buy their coffee the next morning?

Yes.

Yeah.

Trust me, I know.

Try dating as a teenager in Pine Springs.

Yeah, yeah, you get it.

I do.

But yes, I do want to be dating.

So wait, ice skating is a Harper family

Christmas favorite.

- Only every Christmas. - Favorite?

And every Friday in middle school,

because what else was there to do?

Oh man, I forgot Mikayla's gonna be

in middle school next year.

Middle school.

I don't know anything about middle school girls.

Well, tell her she can always call me.

I feel like I'm going to blink

and she's gonna be in college.

Oh man.

- It's just like... - What's the plan after that?

I have no idea what I'm gonna do with myself.

Anything you want.

The world is your oyster.

Wait, so ice skating was which ornament?

10 lords a-leaping, of course.

That was really good, by the way.

Come on. Come on.

- Now you have to do it. - What?

- Yeah, leap! - That, no.

- Yes. - No thank you.

Are you all right?

I'm so sorry, you okay?

No, I'm fine.

I'm so sorry I pulled you down.

No, I tried to catch you, and then I lost my balance.

Mikayla is so excited that you're coming

to the Christmas pageant, by the way.

I got a glimpse of the angel costume she's gonna wear,

it is, what?

I got an email and they changed the interview,

and I actually, I gotta fly to New York in the morning.

- I am so sorry. - Okay, hey.

No, it's okay.

Mikayla will understand.

What about you?

Yes.

It's just hit me, this week is gonna end

and it's probably not gonna end with you

packing up and moving to palm Springs.

- I don't know that. - Yeah.

I don't, I mean, the fact that I'm here right now

and not frantically pacing and preparing for this interview

speaks volumes about how I've changed my mind

about Pine Springs.

Being here, it just, it showed me how much I was missing,

home and community and a connection to my past, and...

Future possibilities that I have never even considered.

I want you to know how hard it is to not kiss you right now.

I'm sorry, I can't.

Look.

I wish I could be the guy that just kisses you

and doesn't care what it means,

but if I'm being honest with you,

this is new to me.

Feeling this way again.

The part of me that just needs the world to make sense

needs to know that when I kiss you,

you're not gonna have one foot out the door.

Sam, I wish that I had a definitive answer

to be able to give you, I just...

No, I really, really need you to not answer right now,

a giant pit of guilt would just open up and eat me,

and swallow me whole.

I couldn't live with myself if I felt

like you decided not to stay and then

me kissing you just somehow may have made a difference.

I'm sorry.

Why didn't you kiss him?

Because he made it very clear

that he did not want to be kissed.

No.

He wanted to kiss you, he just needed you to say

that you were staying first.

Lucy, you were the one that told me not to kiss him.

Don't listen to me, what do I know?

Well, this has been supremely helpful.

I gotta go.

What's your plan here, Share?

To have absolutely no plan, that's what I've got.

All right, I gotta go, I'll call you after, okay?

Bye.

We will be well on our way to creating

a culture that knows how to heal trauma.

That knows how get down on the ground with the wounded

and say, "I know that this hurts.

"But you are not broken, and you cannot stay here.

"Because anything bad that happens to you

"happens to us too."

15,000,000 views and counting.

Countless media appearances.

You've jump-started a major conversation

about a topic that most people would prefer to avoid.

That's inspiring.

We were particularly struck by how your talk

made the scientific, creative, and personal.

Can you speak to how this Grant and Fellowship

would personally change your life?

Earlier this year I lost my grandmother.

The woman who raised me and inspired me

to go into this field.

A week ago, I went home to celebrate Christmas

and get her affairs in order.

Even though I'm supposed to be an expert in this field,

even though I was prepared for how

my brain and body might respond,

I discovered that this experience brought me to my knees.

And it made me think more deeply

about the gap between what we know

and how we actually experience things.

I love you, dude, but you have like zero chill.

I mean, what did you think she was gonna say?

I don't know.

I thought I was stating the obvious.

Right, because your life screams

"I am open to dating right now."

- Now come on... - What?

You're living with your younger brother,

who is helping you raise your 10-year-old daughter.

Okay, but...

And you know I loved Jennie.

- Right. - Okay, all I'm saying is,

if you really are ready for your life to change,

you have to make space for something new.

How did it go?

I got it.

I can't believe that I got it.

Okay, this is a teddy I got for your mom in college.

I gave that to her on our first official date.

Hey.

What are you doing?

Making space.

These are the last of Jennie's boxes from the basement.

And they liked that?

They loved that I was thinking big,

and they got really excited about some of my ideas.

Even if you don't know how to make them happen?

Well, if I knew how to make them happen,

then that would mean that someone

had already done them, right?

Okay, so all of this can go to Gloria for sale?

- Yeah, I love that idea. - Okay.

And then, this should go to Nick and Ethel.

Okay.

- By the door, Nick and Ethel. - Got it.

What's that?

This, I don't know what this is.

Maybe this decision will take me

off of the track that I had planned.

It is going to be super scary, for sure, but new always is.

But it could also be bigger than anything

that I have ever planned.

It's messy, very messy, and I definitely have

more questions than I have answers right now, for sure,

but I just have a feeling that I will know the answers

- when I see them. - Dad.

"Dear Jennie, I can't tell you how delighted I am

"that you've agreed to make us a partridge in a pear tree

"to complete our family set.

"I so love your work, and I'm sure

"if anyone can do it, it's you.

"Please use this ornament as a model

"and return it when you're finished.

"Take all the time you need.

"Love, gramma Vera."

Look, little lady, I just don't want you

to get your hopes up.

You don't understand.

She pinky promised.

I know, but hey, things happen,

and Sharon's got a lot on her plate right now.

Dad, if you break a pinky promise,

I don't wanna get into it, but it's messy.

She's going to be there.

Okay.

All right, we gotta go, hon, let's go.

Do I have my, yeah.

Long, long ago, under the biggest star

the sky has ever seen, an angel sent a message of hope.

Any word from Sharon?

No.

You were magnificent!

I'm really glad you came back.

I'm gonna go talk to your dad, okay?

Okay.

Okay, I'll see you in a few.

You did so good.

Hey.

So how did it go?

Did you get the...

Okay, now it's my turn to ramble, okay?

Since gramma Vera passed away,

I have been running as fast as I can,

just chasing goals to a place where she would be proud of me.

I decided to take a leap of faith.

Believing her when she said that I could

never disappoint her.

I think that's a great...

I'm not finished.

I'm gonna break gramma Vera's challenge.

I'm not gonna make a decision on the house yet.

I'm gonna hang on to the house for a year.

A year?

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna write a book.

I am going to collect people's stories

and use story to shift how we view

the brain in the face of loss.

And who knows, maybe I'll open a grief center, I don't know.

Okay, so I'm guessing you got the Grant.

I did.

Okay, so a year, and then...

I know you told me that you didn't wanna kiss me

with one foot out the door, and maybe the promise of a year

isn't enough for you, but man,

I would really love to kiss you on the promise of tomorrow.

And I don't have a sign, a big neon sign

to prove to you that...

There might be signs.

They might not be neon, but sometimes there's signs.

Where did you?

It's the craziest story.

Isn't it amazing how seven generations ago,

two people fell in love one day at a time,

and now here we all are.

RIP-FIXES-SYNC by VaVooM