All language subtitles for The.Orange.Man.2015.720p.WEB-DL.x264.AAC-.eSc

- Good afternoon, sir.

My name's Peter Walkins
and I'm going door to door

selling my crop of oranges.

They're only $2 a bushel.

They're loaded with vitamin C.

Each one is hand-picked
and carefully packed

to assure maximum
customer satisfaction.

You're not gonna find better
oranges in 200 miles of here.

And like I say, they're
only $2 a bushel.

Why don't you go
ahead and try one?

- Not interested.

- Hey, you boys like oranges?

Look at that thing.

It's a thing of beauty.

Just picked this today.

They're packed with flavor
and they're full of vitamin C.

It's good for you.

You guys are growing boys.

You need your vitamin C.

Here, why don't you try a bite?

Give that a try.

There you go.

Now take a bite.

Tell your mom and dad
how good they are.

They can come buy some from me.

Now is that good or
is that good, huh?

- Oh, gross.

- What?

You rotten little...

- Hey, you owe me a
big tip this time.

Hey, Phil.

- Morning Barb.

- Can I fill you up?

- Sure you can.

- So, have any plans
for this weekend?

- Yeah, I was thinking about
doing some huntin', fishin'.

- At Camp Buckaroo?

- No, that's too far.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh God, it's him again.

- Come again?

- That orange guy.

He creeps me out.

- Who, this guy here?

- Yeah.

- Huh.

- Hi, can I help you?

- I'm here to see the owner
of this establishment.

- He's busy.

- I can wait.

- He's here looking
for you again.

- Just tell him I'm busy.

- Dale, this is the third
time this week he's been here.

- Crazy Pete.

- I'm telling you,
he's up to no good.

Did you see how he looked at me?

Hey I didn't sign up for this.

- Barb, just calm down.

He's upset because
we're not buying oranges

from him anymore.

It's business, that's all.

- I hope so.

He's not available.

I'm sorry.

- Well.

You go ahead and tell Dale that
I left him a little present.

- Oh...

Loser.

- What a meatball.

- Barb, is that you?

Did you forget your purse again?

Barb?

Peter, we're closed.

- We're offering premium
succulent oranges

for $2 a bushel.

Each orange is hand-picked
and delicately packaged

for ultimate customer
satisfaction.

How many do you want?

- Peter, listen.

Let's talk about
this in the morning.

I know you've been trying
to get in touch with me,

but it's only business,
and I have a new supplier.

- Well there are no finer
oranges in the area.

- Let me tell you this
as politely as I can.

You've gotta leave.

- Here, you should try one.

- Take your oranges
out of my face.

- You shouldn't have done that.

- Deborah, did you
make any breakfast?

I'm late as it is.

- How many times do I
have to tell you Gerald,

if you want something
to eat, get up earlier

and make it yourself.

What do I look like,
your personal slave?

- Where you going
in such a hurry?

- In case you haven't
noticed, the computer

has another virus.

I'm taking it over to
Roger's for a tune-up.

- Is that so?

- Yeah.

- Strange, it seems like
there's something wrong

with that computer
every other day.

Why don't you just
come out and say it?

- Okay, fine.

I will.

He's more of a man than
you're ever gonna be, okay?

He's caring, he's affectionate,
and he listens to me.

Now bug off Gerald.

- Morning everyone.

I realize that it's
Friday and you all

have big plans for the weekend,

but we recently
closed on the deal

with the Walkins
Family orange business.

Thank you.

It's part of a trust that
we'll be taking care of.

40 prime undeveloped
acres of land.

There's over 400
orange trees on there

that we're gonna be
clearing out of the way

for our development.

Let me demonstrate.

Any questions?

- Uh, yeah.

When are we lookin' to start?

- As soon as possible.

Yes, Derek?

- Wouldn't it be
easier to use dynamite?

- Dynamite?

That is so stupid.

Do you know how
expensive dynamite is?

He's an idiot.

- Good point.

Very expensive.

Susan, what are we
on in contracts?

- Well we're just
waiting to hear back.

I should have something
by the end of the day.

- Very good.

Well, that takes care of it.

Derek, I'm putting you in
charge of all the legal papers

and documents with
the Walkins family.

Got it?

- Yes sir.

- Good.

- Estimates just came in.

The second one is a bit high,

but we've done business
with him before.

- Take a look at this.

- Um, I know this
isn't the best timing,

but this also came for you.

- When is a divorce
ever good timing?

- I'm sorry Gerald.

She dropped it off this morning.

I didn't mean to ruin your day.

- That's okay.

Susan?

There's gonna be
a change of plans.

Tell Derek that I will be
making the trip personally.

Yes, I understand.

All right.

Buh-bye.

- Hello?

- Wilbur.

- Hi Gerald.

- I can barely hear you.

What are you doing?

- Uh, hey Gerald.

Just killin' some calories.

What's goin' on?

- Deborah served me
the papers today.

I knew it was coming.

Hey uh, listen.

How about getting all the guys
together tonight for a drink?

- Yeah, of course.

- How about 7:30
at the Liquor Palace?

- You got it.

- Can I
get you another one?

- No thanks.

I'm waiting for a few friends.

- No problem.

- Hey, Gerald.

Sorry I'm late.

I got tied up in a chat room
with a couple of hot babes.

- I thought you
were seeing someone.

- Long story.

Thanks.

Enough about me.

How are you?

- I could be better.

She wants the house and the car.

- Sorry to hear.

- After all I've
done for that bimbo.

- Strong words coming from you.

- I'm sorry.

I'm just stressed out is all.

- No, it's fine.

- Hey, Gerald my man.

- Reggie, Jimmy.

- Oh shit!

You son of a bitch.

You drive like a bitch.

- Why'd you put
the brakes on, man?

- Man, can't you
drive this damn thing?

Fire your ass.

What's goin' on, baby?

- Thanks for coming out.

- Hey, it's not a problem.

Sorry we're a little late.

Jimmy here had to
make a few stops.

- Still birdwatching?

- Yeah, if you call
watching old ladies bathing

birdwatching.

- Didn't you get arrested
for that last year?

- Man, I didn't get arrested.

I got let off with a warning.

Besides, it's not
against the law

to watch birdies
playing in their nests.

- I guess so.

- Jimmy, some things
just never change.

- Hey, listen.

Wilbur filled us in along
the way about Deborah.

I'm sorry Gerald.

- Thanks.

14 years of marriage
down the drain.

Like that.

- I knew she was lying
to you the entire time.

Just another tune-up.

Well if I ever meet
this Roger fellow,

I'm gonna tune his ass up.

- Jimmy, he's not worth it.

Besides, it's my
problem to deal with.

- Just like you deal with
everything else, man.

When you gonna start
looking out for yourself?

Every time we see you,
you're down in the dumps.

- He's got a point, Gerald.

- Guys, I know you're
trying to help,

but really, I can
take care of this.

- Let's just hope I
don't meet this guy,

'cause if I do, his face is
gonna be meeting the pavement.

- I can drink to that.

- Anyways, I need to
get away for the weekend

and clear my head.

Plus, I've got some
business to take care of

and I figured that maybe
we could all go fishing.

- Sounds fun to me.

Hey, my calendar
is free and clear.

- And I'm unemployed.

- Reggie, you ain't
never been employed.

- Man, shut up.

- Yeah, you know what?

I could use a few days off.

- Hey, this is my office.

I need to take this.

Excuse me.

- I need to use the bathroom.

Come on, a little help guys?

A little help?

- I think
I'm in love, Reggie.

- In love with who?

- Brenda.

She's from Phoenix.

We've been chatting
for like two weeks now.

I think after the trip I
might ask her to move in.

- Do think that's a good idea?

I mean, you barely know her.

Is it a he or she this time?

- She's the one.

- Come outta there!

Damn kidney stones!

- So, what do you think?

Should I ask her to move in?

- What?

Hell, you ask Jimmy.

He's the expert on this stuff.

- I figure you've
rolled over a few women.

- Oh hell, I've
done more than that.

But honestly Wilbur, you
got a bunch of weirdos

online, you know?

So you got to be really careful.

- You're right.

Thanks.

- It's rough.

These damn kidney
stones is rough.

- That was Susan.

Looks like we'll be
heading out tomorrow, boys.

- Righteous.

- Just like the old days.

- Guys, this is gonna be great.

- Yep.

- You made my day,
you know that?

- Hey, what are
friends for, huh?

- Right.

Right, right.

- To great friends.

To an amazing trip, and
unforgettable memories.

- Hey, Gerry.

Hey baby.

Hey!

- Hey guys.

- Give me that fishing pole.

- This is exactly what I needed.

A couple days to clear my
head, do a little fishing.

Heck, I might even
tackle some hiking too.

- There better not be
any snakes out there,

I'll tell you that.

- The only snake you're gonna
find is right here.

- You are nasty.

- Say what you want,
but I'm the one

pickin' up all the hot broads.

- Jimmy, your
Jimmy ain't seen no coochie

since you dropped
out of your mama.

Me on the other hand,
man I been wearin'

this wheelchair out.

I even completely wore
out a set of brakes.

Oh oh oh baby.

- Guys, can we have
at least one trip

without hearing
about your sex lives?

- Or lack of.

- Whatever.

Just remember this.

I'm gettin' some
tail this weekend

with or without you guys.

- Don't look so depressed.

We're having fun.

Remember that.

- Yeah.

I can't believe I didn't
figure it out sooner.

I mean, all this time
this guy is coming over

to my house, working
on my wife's computer?

The only hard drive he
was replacing was mine.

- I know exactly how you feel.

Granted I was never married,

but I was in a serious
online relationship.

You know the thing that
bothered me the most?

She never sent me
her profile photo.

She said, "You should
love me for who I am,

"not how I look."

That's all fine and dandy.

I get that.

But when you find
out that the person

that you've been loving
for the past two years

is a man named Walter
living in Romania, well...

It's enough to push
anyone over the edge.

- Oh God.

Here we go again,
listening to Wilbur

talk about his loverboy.

- Walter, kiss me.

Mwah mwah mwah mwah.

- Shut up!

This is serious!

- Yeah yeah yeah.

- Anyhow.

I feel like we have something
in common, you know?

- Yeah.

- Pit stop!

- Hey boss, I'm gonna
take 20 on pump three.

You got a bathroom?

- Yeah, it's in the
back on the right.

- Thanks.

� I know a girl

� She lives on the hill

� She won't do it
but her sister will

� When she boogies

� She does the
tubesteak boogie �

- Hey Wilbur, a
little more gas huh?

No more gas.

All right, brakes.

Brakes!

- What?

- Brakes!

- Brakes!
- Brakes!

- Jesus.

Fuck.

- Hey guys, we're here.

- Thank God.

We almost died.

- Man, you know I
ain't got a license.

- This is something.

- It's like we're in paradise.

- I know there's some hot
babes out in that water,

just waitin' for a stud like me.

- Hang a left up there.

- You gonna open the door?

Piece of shit.

- Come on, Jimmy.

- All right.

- Well, what do you guys think?

- It's home for a few days.

- Uh, not bad.

I've seen worse.

- Come on in, guys.

Come in.

- Holy crap.

Where in the hell did
you find this place?

- Craigslist.

The guy only wanted 300
bucks for the weekend.

- 300 bucks?

This is like a
fuckin' sleaze shack.

- Looks cozy to me.

- Hey, even got a shitter.

- I gotta take a piss.

- Hey Gerald, you want
a sausage or a weiner?

- I could suck
down a few weiners.

- Okay.

Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Reggie?

Ah.

Wilbur?

- Oh, no thanks.

I'm trying to lose weight.

- Like whatever
you're trying to lose

found its way back already.

- Come on, Wilbur.

We're supposed to be having fun.

Remember that's
what you told me?

Take one.

- What the hell, give me three.

- Now we're talkin'.

- Just one at a time, though.

I don't want to choke.

- But first, we gotta
slather it full of mustard.

- Oh!

10 second rule.

You know, I was doing
some research online

before we left, and it turns out

that there's a maniacal

sociopathic psyhopathic
serial killer

that used to roam
around in this area.

- Say what?

- Oh yeah yeah yeah.

In 1987 a man named
Peter Walkins,

he brutally murdered
over 30 people.

It turns out that they
were his ex-customers,

and he was upset
'cause they no longer

would want to buy his oranges.

- Oranges?

- Oh yeah yeah.

And he had a hook for a
hand and he would use it

to gut them open.

- Oh my God.

- Whoa.

What a way to go.

- So, why are you telling
us all this stuff?

- Wait a minute.

Did they ever catch him?

- Nope.

One of the area's great
unsolved mysteries.

Some of the people think
that he's still out there.

Waiting to kill again.

Come on.

It's an urban legend.

- Oh.

- Well, on that note, I gotta
go drain the old baloney pony.

- I gotta go too.

These rocks is rattlin'
inside me like a penny

in a jelly jar.

- Reggie, you find
your own tree.

I don't feel like
gettin' pissed on.

- Jimmy, behave.

- What?

- It's all right, Gerald.

I ain't gonna piss
on the asshole.

- I could go with you Reggie.

- Get the fuck outta here.

- Oh.

Well well well.

What do we got here?

Oh.

Yeah baby, take those
sweaty panties off.

Oh.

Thank you God.

Ah.

Oh yes.

Oh.

You dirty little girl.

I'd like to spank you right now.

Oh.

Wilbur, Gerald?

Is that you?

You perverts aren't
watching me pee, are you?

Oh.

The party's still on.

Oh.

I'm coming.

Oh oh.

- Hey Gerald.

Gerald.

Hey Jimmy.

Jimmy.

- What?

- Somebody's out here, man.

- I don't know, man.

- Come on Reg.

Don't be a sissy.

Open up that door.

- Oh man.

My head is pounding.

I drank way too much last night.

- Somebody's at the door.

- Well, let's just
go see who it is.

There's nobody there.

Reggie, we're 15
miles from town.

Not even those
Jehovah's Witnesses

could find us out here.

I'm going back to bed.

- So what's the plan for today?

- I thought we could
do some fishing.

The cabin came with a boat.

- Hey, you guys know
how I feel about boats.

I can't swim.

- We'll get you a life jacket.

You'll be fine.

That water's only
about 20 feet deep.

- Of course, there are
sharks in there too.

- What?

Oh hell no.

- No Jimmy, come on.

- I'm sorry.

Couldn't help myself.

But you guys missed
out last night.

This broad had the biggest
tits I've ever seen,

and I coulda sucked all
the juice out of them.

I'm hoping to bump
into her again later.

I can't wait to
use one of these.

- Oh I can't believe it.

- What is it?

- Deborah and her
boyfriend Roger.

- So that's the little twerp?

- Why would she come here?

- Hell if I know.

It's not enough that
she ripped my heart out

and tore it in half.

I have to see her
with that bastard.

- Hey Reggie.

What do you say we go
over and kick his ass?

- I'm down for some
shit like that.

- Guys, please.

Don't make a scene.

With all I'm going
through with this divorce,

I've got too much to lose.

- Don't worry Gerry boy.

We got this.

- Oh boy.

- Hey.

Are you Roger?

- Babe, I got this.

Yeah.

Who the hell are you?

- Your worst nightmare.

- That's enough.

That's enough.

- Leave him alone!

- Loser!

- Go home to mama, you big baby.

- Fuck you, you crybaby!

- Guys, we better get
going before the cops come.

- Not a bad idea.

- You hear that?

- Hear what?

- Peace and quiet.

The sound of relaxation.

- I don't hear nothin' but bugs.

And it smells like
owl shit out here.

Whoa.

- Hey, relax Reggie.

- Thought I felt a bump.

- You got your brakes on?

- Eh, they all busted up,
courtesy of Roger's knuckles.

- You'll be fine.

It was just a small wave.

- That's not the point.

I'm trying to stay
alive out here.

- Guys, I want to tell you,

thanks for being
such great friends.

I mean, what started
with a crappy week

has the beginnings
of a great weekend.

- I can toast to that.

- I mean, how long
has it been anyways?

I don't think I've done anything
like this since college.

I mean heck, Reggie
could even walk.

- Way too long.

To be totally honest,
I don't know why

we don't do this more often.

- Whoa!

Whoa!

This sucker's huge.

Wow, look at him.

He must be a 20-pounder.

Gah!

- Come on.

Keep goin'.

Keep goin'.

- Reel him in, you weakling.

- Come on.

- You shut up.

Holy shit.

Look, it's him!

Over there.

- Oh great.

- Back for more, huh?

- Well, if it isn't
the gay squad.

- Why don't you piss off?

- Oh, tough guy now huh?

Funny you weren't such
a hotshot back in town

when your friend
sucker punched me.

- You were warned, asshole.

- Well now I'm
giving you a warning.

We're filing charges
for attempted murder.

- That's right, and
you're all going to jail.

- Hope your soap comes
on a rope, bitches.

- Hey, shut up!

- You first, cripple.

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa.

Watch how you talk about
my friend, you little twig.

- I got your back Jimmy.

- You know why Debs and
I are such a hot item?

Because I rock her world.

I take her to the moon and back.

Unlike you Gerald, with
your limp little worm.

Blablablabla.

- It's a tiny one.

- That's not true.

- Oh, that's not what I heard.

- I suggest you leave
before we have words.

- Well you want to fight me?

Come on, right now!

- Let it go, babe.

We'll have our day.

In court.

- Hey, I'm a Roger.

Rogers don't back down.

Take a good look fellas.

This is what a real
man looks like.

- Flex your battleships, Rog.

- You sons of dicks!

- You asshole.

You're suck a
jealous prick Gerald.

I hate you.

- You showed him.

- That's two ass
whoopings in one day.

- Run away, run
away you dipstick.

- Get those sons of bitches!

- Guys, guys.

Look out guys!

- Help!

Help I'm drowning!

You cocksucker!

- Reggie, the rope.

- Grab the rope.

- Go on.

Give it a go.

How's that?

- It's no use.

It's ruined.

- It just needs a little lube,

and you know I always
carry some of that with me.

Yeah, get it in there.

Try it now.

- You fixed it.

Thanks Jimmy!

You're a fucking genius.

Oh wow.

Lookie here.

- Yeah, we'll be there shortly.

Just to verify, we'll be going
over the purchase agreement

and power of attorney.

Hello?

Sir?

Are you still there?

Daggone it.

You gotta be kidding me.

- I'm lucky to get
one bar out here.

Reception is horrible.

- Yeah, tell me about it.

- So you, uh, ready
to hit the road?

- Yeah.

Let's get this knocked out.

Guys, we'll be back in
a couple hours tops.

- We'll be fine.

Go on and get out of here.

- Hey, where them guys going?

- I don't know.

They're supposed to be
going to some meeting.

So is it better?

- It's great man, just like new.

- Hey Reggie.

- Hm?

- I think they're gone.

You want to go do
some birdwatching?

- Count me in, baby.

I'm ready to roll!

Whoa.

Dang it.

- I don't know how
to drive this thing.

- Holy shit.

Not the fuckin' stairs.

Holy fuck.

See anything?

Man, I'm getting a woody
just thinking about it.

- And nothing yet.

- Let me see those.

Oh, lookie lookie lookie.

I found me a cookie.

- What is it?

- Somebody doing the
tubesteak boogie.

- Let me see.

Let me see.

Unfuckinbelievable.

It's Deborah and her boyfriend.

- What does she look like?

Is she naked?

- No.

I got an idea.

Come on, let's go.

- Fine then.

Hey Jimmy.

- Ah, son of a bitch.

Are you stuck again?

- Guys, I really don't think
this is such a good idea.

- Sure it is.

- I'm in hot water as is.

- Listen, you haven't
been able to relax

since we've been here.

How are we gonna have any
fun if you're constantly

worried about running
into Deborah and Roger?

Besides, it's not like
we're gonna kill them.

- That's right.

We're just gonna give
them a little scare,

incentive to go home early.

- Gerald, I been
scared my whole life

ever since the accident.

- You know, you never
did tell me about that.

- I guess I was too embarrassed.

- It's okay Reggie.

The first step to healing
is talking about it.

- Maybe you're right.

All right.

Well...

I was running late
for a job interview

and it was for a
big position too.

Anyway, it was at
a place downtown

and I went and I pushed
the elevator button.

After about what seemed
to be an hour or so,

the elevator came.

The door opened,
I walked inside,

and I seen a penny on the floor.

And my granddaddy
always said that

if you ever found a
penny, that's good luck.

And I figured if I got this
job I'd be sitting pretty.

So I went out to get the
penny, but I tripped,

and the elevator door
closed and smashed my legs.

Then the elevator
started going up.

What was left of
my battered legs

started bouncing off
the elevator ceiling

and broke my legs
in over 900 pieces.

- Whoa, I had no idea.

- You ever heard a
chicken bone snap?

Pow pow pow pow pow!

Pow pow!

Crack crack twist.

I'm telling you man,

ever since then
I've been afraid.

I've been afraid
to take a chance.

Well now this is your chance.

And you take it.

- Jimmy.

What did you have in mind?

I wish Reggie could be here.

- Yeah but, we can't risk
his wheel getting caught

when we run off.

- What the hell did you drink?

You pee like a racehorse.

- I've been holding
it for hours.

- It smells like asparagus.

- Enough already.

- Okay.

- All right boys, let's go.

- Roger,
did you hear that?

- No baby, it's nothing.

Let's go again.

- You want to play
who's at the backdoor?

- Oh, you are dirty.

- Roger, we're not alone.

Oh my God, what if
it's a grizzly bear?

- Would you calm down?

- Well go check.

- Fine, okay.

- Come on.

Be careful honey.

- Oh they're coming!

It's coming!

Somebody's out there.

Better come the fuck out
or I'm gonna cut you.

Come on you son of a bitch.

Come on out or I'll
cut your fucking head!

He's out there!

He's out there!

I told you!

I told you he was out there!

I told you he was out there!

I told...

- Oh my little pumpkin.

Look what they did to you.

Oof.

Did you at least see who it was?

- No.

But I've got a pretty good idea.

- Well, anyways.

Where were we?

- You're making me frisky.

- Oh baby, just
the way I like you.

- All right.

That freaking does it!

It's your husband, I know it.

- Goddamn.

Why can't they just
leave us alone?

- This ends now.

I can see you, you idiot.

- Yeah, get lost before
he breaks your nose.

- They just don't
learn, do they?

Last warning, punk.

You'll pay for that, hotshot.

- Care for an orange?

- Oh no!

- I knew this was a bad idea.

Now we have a broken
window to pay for.

- Hey, how can you be
so sure Roger did this?

- After what we did to them,

I can guarantee you it was them.

- Well whoever did
it, they're gone now.

- Shit.

- Hey, it's just a window.

We'll say a blue
jay flew through it.

An act of God.

They're not gonna
make you pay for that.

- Whatever.

I'm goin' to bed.

- Who's gonna pick
up all this glass?

- Don't look at me.

You better talk to Jimmy.

- Why does it smell
like pee in here?

Can you believe this?

- Wow, they really did a number.

Sorry Wilbur.

They must have keyed
it to get even.

It's evidence now.

So much for their lawsuit.

- So much for my van.

- Hey Reggie, come on in.

The water's nice and warm.

- Fuck you.

I'm fine just where
the fuck I am.

- Leave him be.

You know he's
afraid of the water.

- Especially after
his dip recently.

- You know, I wonder
how many people

have peed in this water.

It's all slimy.

- Well you can add mine
into the list.

- You freak.

- Hey Gerald, why are you
still wearing that ring?

- It means absolutely
nothing to me.

Dead weight.

- So, let it go, would ya?

- It's time.

- Just think, 10 years from now,

some guy's gonna catch
a big old catfish

that swallowed that ring.

It's hard to believe
this is our last night.

- I know.

Time flies when
you're having fun.

We should all do
this again soon.

- You know, my Uncle
Woody's got a place

up in Colorado Springs.

It's supposed to
be good huntin'.

I could make the call if
you guys are up for it.

- Definitely.

Let's make it a little
bit longer this time.

After my divorce gets finalized,
I could use some more time.

- Ouch!

- What is it?

- Something bit me I think.

- Maybe it's a crocodile.

- Very funny.

- They like to hang
out in shallow water,

then they drag you under,
and roll you around

in circles til you're dead.

- He's just messing with you.

- I'm outta here.

- The crocodile's gonna get ya!

Poor Wilbur.

Chicken!

Go find your mommy.

Ah!

What the...

Got ya.

Ah!

Ah!

- I'm not falling for that one.

- Look!

Look!

Guys!

He's not kidding this time guys.

He's got a Komodo dragon
hanging onto his babymaker.

Holy shit, he's grabbing
you by your balls.

- Get this
son of a bitch off!

- Sit down, would you?

- Holy fuck.

Get him.

Bring him down.

Bring him down.

You've got to suck the venom
out of his fucking dick.

- Gotta
suck the venom out!

- He could be
dead in five minutes.

- Hold him down, Gerald!

Hold him down!

- Get off of me!

- I'll get his pants.

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

It wasn't a snake bite.

Get off me.

If was a fuckin' turtle.

- Hold his legs down!

- Get off of me.

- You're all right!

He's all right.

He's all right!

- Not a single bite.

You should have seen that
fish I caught yesterday.

A monster.

It must have been 85 pounds.

Look at Jimmy.

Still looking for that heifer.

- He's been looking
for over three hours.

Heck, we haven't
seen another soul.

- Come to think about it,

I don't think there's
any people out here.

- We are the only people here.

Don't you find that
a little bit creepy?

- Nah.

I find it quite relaxing.

Don't have to listen to
any drunk college kids

or dog barking, or
Deborah running her mouth.

- Wow.

Where did that come from?

- Let's just say you guys are
rubbing off on me a little.

Did you give up?

- Nah.

It just hurts when I stand
for long periods of time.

But she's out there somewhere.

When I find her, I'm
gonna make my move.

- Speaking of
that, Gerald, um...

Next week there's a um,

speed dating event
that I'm going to,

and I was just wondering if
you'd like to go with me.

- No thanks.

I'm not really good at
striking up conversation.

- What about that
gal in your office?

- Susan?

You've got to be kidding me.

She wouldn't date a guy like me.

- Hey I've heard she's
got a nice tushie,

all squishy like ham.

Put a little pineapple
and a cherry on top.

Man, I could take a
bite out of them buns.

- Besides, I think I
need a little more time

before I hop into
a relationship.

- Time for what?

Let me give you a little advice.

- Oh, can't wait to hear this.

- If you'd shut that yapper
of yours for a second

you might learn something.

- All right.

We all ears.

- You see, women always
want to be the hero

in a man's life, so you
have to let them know

how lonely you are.

Tug on their heartstrings
a little bit.

Then you invite
them out to dinner.

But you don't want to
come off like a jackass.

You see, most women want babies.

Men don't.

So you get a picture of
one of those orphan kids.

You know the kind,
you pay a penny a day

to save a kid's life?

- Yeah.

- So you take the
picture out at dinner,

and when she sees
it, you let her know

how much you care for this kid,

and you want to
make a difference.

Before you know it, you'll
be riding her like a pony.

- I tried that.

It didn't work a bit.

Heck, I'd put out three photos.

- It's 'cause you're a fat slob.

And you're overly ambitious.

- You're right.

You're right.

You start off with one kid.

Then after a few dates,
you just add some more.

- That's not a bad idea.

- Hey.

It's her.

I'm gonna go get a closer view.

Catch you guys later.

- 20 bucks says he
comes back empty-handed.

- I'll bet you 20 on that.

- Yeah.

- Anyhow, I've had
enough of this.

I think I'm gonna go
for a little hike.

Any takers?

- I'm sitting my ass right here.

- I'll catch up.

- Okay.

- It wasn't Roger I
saw the other night.

I'm sure.

It was him, the guy
Wilbur was talkin' about.

He had...

Dark eyes and a hook hand.

- That's nonsense.

- Is it?

Well how else do you
explain the orange?

The one that flew
through the window.

You just saw it
with your own eyes.

- Come on, Reggie.

You heard Wilbur.

That's just some
story he found online.

- Maybe, but...

The other night when
you guys were gone,

I heard a scratch,
a tapping noise.

It started out, then
it went to a scratch.

He was pulling that hook
along the wall, taunting me.

He wanted me to
take a look at him

so he could cut my neck open.

- Look, it's just
been a crazy weekend.

Reggie, relax.

- All right.

Have you ever noticed that
I'm the only brother out here?

And it's always the black
guy that dies first.

- Come on, can't we just relax

and enjoy the rest of the trip?

- Suit yourself.

- I'd better go find
Wilbur before he gets lost.

- Oh yeah baby.

Hi there.

Nice day to get a tan, isn't it?

- Who are you?

- Hey I'm Jimmy.

- Were you watching me?

- I wasn't watching you, I
mean spying on you, I mean...

- Then what were you doing?

- I'm a birdwatcher.

I come out every year
at mating season.

Bagah bagah bagah.

Hey hey hey, take it easy.

I'm not gonna bite ya.

I'm just saying hello is all.

Huh?

- Have a date to this, bitch.

� Brenda Brenda
Brenda and Wilbur

� Brenda

� Brenda and Wilbur

� Brenda Brenda
Brenda and Wilbur

� Brenda Brenda
Brenda and Wilbur

� Brenda Brenda

� Brenda Brenda
Brenda and Wilbur

� Brenda Brenda Brenda �

Hoot stick!

Ow!

Hoot stick!

Sh...

My glasses.

- You all right?

- Oh geez, you scared me.

I can't see nothin'
without my glasses.

- You're bleeding.

- A rock or a
falcon or something

hit me in the head.

Oh, it hurts.

- Come on.

We'd better get
you back to camp.

- Thanks Gerald.

- Careful.

- I can't see nothin'
without my glasses.

- They're on your head.

- So how bad is it?

- Eh, you'll live.

- This is all I could find.

- Thanks, thanks.

- My head's pounding.

It feels like somebody
hit me with a hammer.

- It could have
been a lot worse.

From the height of that cliff,

anything bigger you
would have been dead.

- I wonder if anybody's
ever fell off that cliff.

- It would be a long
drop, that's for sure.

- They'd splat like a pancake.

- That scared me, shit.

- You know, I read
an article once

about this lady in Russia.

She felt out of an
airplane and lived.

- I wonder what
was the last thing

that went through her mind.

- Not living?

- Beats me but man, she fell
over 33,000 feet and survived.

That's incredible.

- Ouch.

She must have broke
a lot of bones.

- As long as your
package still functions,

that's all that matters.

- Speaking of that,
don't you guys think

Jimmy should be back by now?

- How long have we known
each other guys, huh?

Jimmy's relentless.

If he's not back by tomorrow,
we'll go look for him.

- Okay.

I...

I gotta go lay down.

Ow.

Thanks guys.

- He's fucked up.

- Yeah.

Still no sign of Jimmy?

- Uh-uh.

- That's everything.

- We need to be leaving now.

Guys, we're gonna have to
split up and find Jimmy.

- I'll look around down here.

- Good.

I'll look through the
woods behind here.

Do you mind hiking
that peak, Wilbur?

- Sure thing.

- Okay.

We'll meet back here
in about an hour.

- Got ya.

- Jimmy!

Hey Jimmy, we're goin'!

Jimmy?

Where are you?

Hey Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Where are you?

Jimmy?

Ah.

Dammit!

Quit playing jokes, Gerald.

I can't see very well.

My glasses are all messed up.

You're not Gerald.

Stay away.

Stay away.

- Run piggy, run.

- Please.

You don't have to do this.

- Oops.

- Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

Why?

- You know, there are over 50
varieties of navel oranges.

The ones from Florida
are my favorites.

- Mommy!

- Fuck.

Oh fuck me!

No!

Holy fuck!

Gerald!

Jimmy!

Oh Jesus.

Oh Jimmy.

Gerald?

Gerald!

Help!

Help!

Help Jimmy!

Holy shit.

Oh shit!

Oh shit.

You fucking prick!

Prick.

Fuck you.

Ah, you son of a fucking bitch!

Bye, you shit fuckies.

Ow!

- Ah yeah!

Haha!

Yeah!

- Ow!

Ow!

- I'm coming for you!

- Fuck you.

- My God, Jimmy!

- Oh!

- You're mine.

- Come on.

Shit.

Come on, come on.

Go go.

Come on.

- Get outta there!

No!

- Gerald!

Stop Gerald!

He's coming to get me!

Stop Gerald!

No!

- You must be Gerald.

- Yes.

- I'm Dr. McDonald.

My deepest condolences
for your losses.

- Thank you.

How is he doing?

- Not good.

I admit that I'm shocked
he even survived.

Why the impact alone was
enough to kill an elephant.

Are you sure, before we go
in, that you want to see this?

- Yes, doctor.

I need to.

He's the only
friend I have left.

- Very well.

Like I said, there's not
much left to look at.

I'll leave you.

- Hey pal.

How you doin'?

It's okay, it's okay.

I'm here for you.

And I'm not going anywhere.

I guess you probably
heard about the others.

They didn't make it.

But that's why you
need to hang in there.

You can beat this,
I know you can.

- It's time for
your friend's lunch.

You've gotta eat
and get some rest,

and I recommend you do the same.

- But I just got here.

- Oh God.

- Think about your
friend's health.

How's he supposed
to get any better

if he's not gonna get any sleep?

- Okay.

- Don't you worry.

We'll take good care of him.

- You're gonna be okay, Reg.

- We'll be fine.

- Oh God.

- You uh, mind closing
the door on your way out?

- I'll see you first
thing in the morning.

Take care, pal.

- Oh no.

Ow!

Help me.

- Go on.

Have a taste.

- Good morning, Susan.

- Good morning sir.

- Please call me Gerald.

- Um, this came for
you this morning.

Do you just want me to
put it on your desk?

- No thank you.

I'll take it.

- I am so sorry about what
happened to your wife, Gerald.

I read about it in the
paper this morning.

- It's a shame.

- Now you can't
feel guilty, Gerald.

There's nothing that you
could have done to help her.

Um...

- You're right.

Honestly, our marriage
was already over

but no one deserves
to die that way.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't bother
you with my personal matters.

- It's quite all right.

I'll let you get back to work.

- Susan?

Could I interest you in
dinner tonight at my place?

I'm sorry.

My apologies.

I'm sorry for being so personal.

- No!

- Huh?

- Yes.

- You look absolutely stunning.

- Aw, thank you.

- Please come in.

- Whatever you're
cooking smells wonderful.

- Well thank you.

Can I take your coat?

- I love your home.

There's something
about an older home

that does resonate that
charm of yesteryear.

How many bedrooms are there?

- Six.

Which makes for a
big lonely home,

given everything that
I've gone through.

I'm a bit scared to
sleep here, honestly.

Um, make yourself comfortable.

And in the meantime, can I
get you something to drink?

- You may.

What are you having?

- Wine.

- Then I'll have the same.

Thank you.

Mm, this is good.

- It's a Cabernet 2001.

- Who is that?

- Oh, that's my son Hootsie.

- I didn't know you
had any children.

- Well technically,
no, he's not mine.

You see, I donate $1 a day to
make a difference in his life.

- That's so sweet.

- And I'm hoping one day he
and I can play ball together,

as father and son,
but until then,

I need to make sure that he
gets fresh vegetables and water.

- You're an amazing
human being, Gerald.

If only more men were like you.

- I'm just doing what
any good father would do.

- Bless your heart, Gerald.

- That...

That's the food.

- Uh-huh.

You're an amazing
chef, you know that?

- Oh thanks.

I started the chicken
two hours ago in a brine

and I put over 70 herbs
and spices from my garden.

Of course Deborah, she never
appreciated my cooking.

- She never
appreciated you either.

- Can I get you some more wine?

- You may.

- Do you mind
if I go to the cellar

to get another bottle of wine?

- While you're at it,
why don't you grab two?

Do you have a little girl's
room that I could use?

I need to tinkle.

Freshen up.

- It's up the steps,
two doors on the left,

in my bedroom.

Susan, did you find it?

- Yeah.

I'll be down in a moment.

- Susan!

I thought you were...

- Dead.

- No!

Susan?

Susan?

Susan?

Susan?

No!

Ah!

- Refreshing, isn't it?

Fresh squeezed, no
artificial flavors neither.

- Stop!

Ah!

Stop!

- Gerald, it's okay.

You were having a
bad dream is all.

- I'm sorry.

I must have spaced off.

- Whatever happened, you
were one bad boy last night.

Boop.

I'm gonna jump in the shower.

- All right.

- Are you sure you
want to do this?

- Yeah.

They would have wanted it.

Guys, I miss you so much.

Hey, be careful with that thing.

You could put a hole
through a rhino with that.

- Are you sure it was
necessary to bring this?

You know how I feel about guns.

- Well, I had to.

I couldn't let
anything happen to you.

- Nothing will.

Whoever killed your
friends is gone.

They searched the entire park.

He'd be stupid to come back.

- Well if he does, his
ass is six foot under.

I need a few moments.

- Okay.

I'm here for you.

- Well this is it.

It's the end of the road, boys.

Why?

Oh Wilbur.

Reggie.

Jimmy.

Wilbur, you were
always such a putz.

Why?

Why, why?

- Are you ready?

- Yeah.

- Do you want me to go with?

- I need to do this alone.

Here's the keys to the van.

I want you to wait
for me and stay inside

and don't unlock the doors.

And if anything
happens, just honk.

- I'll be fine.

I'm a big girl.

Forgot your friends.

I don't want to sit in here.

� I'm free I'm free I'm free

� La la la la �

- No no no no no.

Back in the car.

- I love you too honey.

Mwah mwah mwah.

- Oh shit!

- He shot me.

- You'll be okay.

It'll be okay.

- Oh Gerald.

- It'll be okay.

You'll be okay.

Come on.

Come on.

I got you.