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♪ And it's been awhile ♪
♪ Since I could hold my head up high ♪
♪ And it's been awhile since I first saw you ♪
♪ And it's been awhile ♪
♪ Since I could stand on my own two feet again ♪
♪ And it's been awhile since I could call you ♪
♪ And everything I can't remember ♪
- Save some of your energy, Earl. - I was tight.
- That was tight. - Good job, guys!
Once you get your tempo down, we'll be good.
You speed your tempo up, be even better.
Let's do it one more time. Let's try it last line before the chorus.
- Y'all staying up? - Staying up!
Three, four...
Yeah, that's it.
♪ And everything I can't... ♪
Zeke, we're going to bed.
Okey-dokey.
- Night, Cyn. - Say good night to Earl.
- Y'all be good now. - Hey, no promises.
Don't listen to that nut job. We'll be good, baby. I love you.
- Love you. - Nighty-night.
Hey, you motherfuckers wanna get weird?
Stop stopping.
- All right, go. - I can't go.
- It's still fucking red, dude. - No one's fucking around.
- What did that sign just say? - I don't... Nothing.
No, what did it say?
I don't know, dude. Just worry about driving.
- I gotta know what they say, dude. - I don't wanna overload you. Okay?
- Just worry about driving. - You're not going to overload me.
All right, whatever.
How you doin' back there, Dick?
- Jesus Christ... - Is he breathing?
He's breathing.
Fuck, goddamn, dude!
- What did that sign just say? - I don't fucking know!
I missed it.
All right. I think it's on the other side of these trees.
- What are we supposed to do? - Richard!
We're taking you to the hospital. All right?
Shit! Pick him up.
- Fuck him up even worse! - Grab his feet.
Can't bring him inside like that, man. That's fucked up.
You'd leave him here, retard? Grab his feet.
No, I'm just saying there's gotta be a better option than this.
- We can figure... - Help me, dude!
I was just fucking... I don't know, see if...
Grab his fucking ankles!
- Drag the fuckin' feet down. - Fine, we're leaving him outside.
I know.
Slow down.
- Good night, Alan. - Good night, Jo.
- Oh, fuck... Shit! - Goddamn, fuck!
Sorry, Dick. Shit.
- Drive safe. - How long you here till?
Noon.
Not me.
Hold up. Hold it. Hold it. Hold it!
- Hood up? - Anonymity.
Oh, right, right!
We're fucking fucked...
Fucking close enough, dude. Just fuck it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Anonymity! - Fuckin' book it!
Shit.
My man! My man!
Shit!
Hey! Hey!
Hey! Yo!
Go! Go! Go!
Fuck.
Yeah.
Now we're gonna have to leave town now.
- Shut the fuck up. - You wanna go to jail?
Dick's gonna be fine, man.
I'll call you tomorrow.
Fuck.
You're not goin' into the yard today, right?
Can you take Cynthia to school?
All right. Yeah, okay. Okay.
I'm on it.
When I'm done with breakfast, can I play you my piano, or no?
You gotta get to school, baby.
You can play it for me when you get home, all right?
Hey, I need some change. You got like some fives or anything?
Probably not.
- Anything? - Uh...
Uh... Here's one.
Good enough.
- Where's your horse wallet I got you go? - Hmm?
Uh, this is a wallet I found.
- Where'd you find it? - At the bar.
Does it have any money in it?
Little detective, I tell you what. It's got a million dollars in it.
- Hmm. - Eat your marshmallows.
You have to take it to the police. That's what you're supposed to do.
Yes, baby, I will. Thank you.
- Can I come with you? - No.
Fuck!
- Where are you off to? - Jesus Chr...
- You startled me. - Where are you headed?
Just going outta town for a couple of days.
- Broke your chair. - Yeah, sucks.
Why are you takin' all this stuff for if it's just a couple of days?
Because it's an emergency.
- No shit. - Yup.
What happened?
Not like an emergency emergency, but like, just like a normal emergency.
Just like... you know what I'm sayin', just like whatever.
Uh, I guess? They letting you off at the warehouse?
Nah, I'm going in today, make a little paper, then I'm gonna bounce.
I just, you know what I'm sayin', I just... you know,
I'm gonna tell 'em I have an emergency. Because I have an emergency.
All right, weirdo. I believe you.
- Need me to feed your animals? - Oh, shit, I ain't think about that.
Yeah, that'd be tight. Uh, yeah, I'd hit you back for that.
Mm-hmm.
What'd you do?
What do you mean, what'd I do?
Yeah, what'd you do that you gotta skip town for?
Nothing, I mean, it's just like some...
Just like some family emergency shit.
Just like some normal-ass family drama stuff.
- Just some... Whatever. - Uh-huh, family drama.
- Mm-hmm, yeah. - Mm-hmm.
- You're a weird dude, Earl Wyeth. - Yup.
Be safe!
Okay.
Morning, buddy.
God...
Oh... Yeah.
You go back up the stairs.
Stay right there...
Here we go.
Honey, what are you doing?
- See, I make the bed. - Cynthia's going to be late.
Uh, you know what? I'll do it... I'll do it when I get home You're right.
- How much sleep did you get last night? - Not enough, I'll tell you that.
Gross.
Bye, baby.
Stay right here. Be right back.
- Phew, sorry, there's a dead mouse. - Ew.
Hey, hey, hey, let's... Why don't we... Sit in the front seat this morning?
The front seat is dangerous for kids.
All right. We wouldn't do anything reckless.
Morning, ma'am. I got a call from Dr. Richter.
Whoo, boy. You're in for an upsetting day, I tell you what. I'll buzz him.
Look, you know I normally don't call y'all about minor shit, but this... I just...
- This is a big deal. I get it. - This dude suffered, Spense.
And I don't think this could have happened to him
without the assistance of, uh, a second party.
Well, what happened?
Well, severe peritonitis of the colon, for starters.
We didn't even realize he was dealing with that
till he started bleeding all over the damn gurney.
- Lord. - That's not even what did him in.
Here's what did him in... rectal hemorrhaging. Rectal hemorrhaging!
I saved a dude one time, couple towns over off Highway 11.
Thought his wife was going to leave him,
so he went in the kitchen under the sink,
poured him up one of them suicide margaritas.
Drank it down. They got him to me just in time.
By the time I got him, the Drano had eaten halfway though his throat.
But we saved him. Saved his ass!
He's back with his wife, they got two kids, they're doing well.
- He works at the garden center. - Over by the Ruby Tuesday?
Yeah, that's the one.
The point is this... you hemorrhaging here? I can save you.
You hemorrhaging back here? It's a whole 'nother ball game.
Where are you going with this?
Here's the weird thing, Spense...
Several cranial contusions
that aren't even consistent with the rectal hemorrhaging.
- What the hell is that? - Blunt force trauma.
Exactly, which leads me to believe, like, due to the nature of his injuries or...
I mean, I don't know. I just think this guy was a victim of a sexual assault.
We haven't even finished the autopsy yet, but we've already found traces of semen.
In the colon.
Lord. We've got some real perverts on the loose.
- Hi, there, Officer. - Hey.
- How's it goin'? - Pretty good.
I wanna get some of them scratchers.
Oh, my God.
- Get a number eight and two number sixes. - Somebody's tryin' to win.
Oh, and a four. Eh, you never know.
Um, excuse me? Police lady?
- Yeah? - My dad found a wallet.
- This your father? - Yup.
- Hey, there! - Hi.
Uh, daughter tells me you found a missing wallet.
Oh, it's not missing anymore!
- Yeah. - Ow.
I thought I should take it to the police, uh, and here you are!
Yeah.
Thank you, Cynthia!
I got it right here.
Hey, Duds, everything all right in here?
Yup, I just got a, uh, missing wallet.
- Okay. I'm gonna get some cupcakes. - Oh. Awesome.
Well, take it easy. Bye.
You're welcome.
You're not going to get fired for an emergency, dude!
Dude, I can't tell 'em it's an emergency.
We told 'em that last month when we saw Papa Roach.
Rick's still pissed about that shit, apparently.
Oh, also, you seen his new fuckin' glasses?
They're made out of wood or some shit.
Looks like what's his face, Dana Carvey in Master of Disguise,
- when he's trying to get that turtle bar. - Look, Earl,
the "S" has hit the fan, okay?
- What? - The "S." The "S."
I don't know what you're spelling, dude.
The fuckin' "S," man!
What?
Just come over ASAP.
- All right, baby... Sweetheart. - Me?
Did you just call me "sweetheart"?
Awesome.
What's the emergency?
Why did you say ASAP?
Tsk.
How're you doing?
Question is, is how you're doin'?
Oh, I'm doin' just fine.
Hmm. Honeymoon period.
Guess so.
Uh, Ted Bolton's on his honeymoon.
The real kind. The wedding kind.
- Ted? I thought his name was Ed. - Oh, Ted is short for Edward.
Oh, I thought it was short for Theodore.
Listen, Duds, whatever the hell his name is, I'm gonna need some assistance
with this homicide bullshit till Bolton gets back.
Are you serious?
- Mm-hmm. - Thank...
Thank you, ma'am.
I'm not askin' you to crack a case now.
I'm just askin' you to type up some shit and keep a file.
Well, irregardless, I...
I appreciate it, ma'am. I won't let you down.
I just gotta drop off this, uh...
Where in the world...
Ugh. Wowee. Thought I'd lost it.
- Mm-hmm, that'd be no good. - Yeah.
No license.
Oh, there's a credit card. Richard Long.
And I'll get right with you on all that homicide craziness.
Great.
I'm looking forward to your piano recital Saturday.
You gettin' good?
- Will you play for me later? - If you want.
I do indeed.
Where's Haley?
- Did you leave her at school? - I don't know.
We'll find her. We'll find her.
Oh, that's Earl. I'll be right back.
Don't drown.
- Yo, I got fired. - What?
Psych! I ain't fuckin' fired. What's going on?
You're fuckin' gullible.
- Oh, hell no. - Yeah.
There's Dick blood all over my fuckin' back seat!
- Why didn't you cover it up? - I tried to, dude.
It's fuckin' bled right through.
No shit. That romper is fucked up.
- Put it on Deluxe. - I haven't got Deluxe.
- Okay, what've you got? - Light soil, medium soil, and heavy soil.
- Put that shit on heavy soil. - I've already got it on heavy soil.
Great, solved.
I guess we got kinda little carried away last night.
Yeah.
- You heard from Dick at all? - Mm-mm.
- You neither? - Uh-uh
- I handed his wallet off to a cop. - Yeah, right, that would be stupid.
You serious?
- Why would you do that? - 'Cause she asked me for it, man.
Where'd you even see a fuckin' cop?
At the gas station, when I called you! When the shit hit the fan!
That's what you were talking about.
All right, great.
I'm gonna need you to take Cyn to school, dude.
I'm not gonna take... Why would I take Cyn to school?
Yeah, okay. I'll take her.
I'm gonna try and get this shit wiped down while you're out.
See, dude, this is exactly why we should've just left town.
Everything's gonna be fine.
If we just get the car clean, we're gonna be fine.
It's Lydia.
I don't know, fuckin' answer it.
Hey, Lyds.
Did Cynthia get to school all right?
Yeah, we got to school okay.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine. What's up?
Did you hear about the murder?
What'd she say?
- Huh? - Somebody got murdered last night.
- Where? - Beth came in this morning
and said that someone dropped this guy off in front of the ER
and he just died right there.
He was like brutally, brutally raped.
That's crazy. Uh...
Beth told you this?
Yeah. She... She's a nurse at St. Germain's.
Okay... Okay.
Hey, will you, uh, pick me up from work when they cut me?
No, I can't. I gotta do all this shit.
Zeke, seriously, I'm freaked out!
Baby, you get off at 3:00 in the afternoon. You're going to be fine.
What kind of murderer is gonna kidnap you in the middle of the afternoon, baby?
Fine.
Murderer?
- Who the fuck's a murderer? - We're the fucking murd...
I didn't get to play my piano.
You can play it for me when you get home.
Oh, Christ, it's not like I don't wanna hear it.
I'll be looking forward to it all day.
Pacing and everything, thinking about how amazing you'll be.
But you gotta get ready for school, so go get dressed.
Fuck!
- Earl, did you break your chair? - Yeah, don't worry about it.
You can't smoke here.
It's vape. Got it. All right, whatever. Let's go.
Good morning, Cynthia.
What's up? Zeke's dad...
uh, not Zeke, Cynthia's dad is like...
his car's all janky right now, so like, I'm just like signing in for her.
Or I don't know, official... whatever, okay, tight.
Thought that was you, Earl Wyeth.
What's up, Jane?
Hello, Mrs. Long.
- How are you this morning, Cynthia? - I'm okay.
It was a crazy morning.
Oh, I hope everything's okay.
It's chill. It's like Zeke's car is just acting up a little bit, so it's like...
- You know what I'm sayin'? - It's not... It's not crazy.
You're all set, sweetie!
Bye, Mrs. Bennett, bye, Mrs. Long, bye, Earl.
- Bye, Cyn, have a good day. - Earl. Earl.
Can I talk to you for just a second about some things?
Uh, I mean, I would typically,
but like, I gotta... I gotta roll, you know what I'm sayin', like?
I guess we can talk for a second.
Thank you very much. Let's go outside.
Oh, this is your... flower.
Now, I don't mean to put you in a funny position.
I ain't... No, I ain't... I'm not in a funny position. It's cool.
All right.
You were with Dick last night. Yeah?
Yeah. I mean, for like... I mean, not really.
I mean, yeah, but like, just for like... For a little while.
Like I left early, so... I mean, I don't know what... I mean, like why?
I didn't see him this morning. He didn't come home.
I mean, like, I don't know.
Like basically, he said he had like a meeting? Like an early meeting?
A meeting?
Since when does Dick have meetings?
I don't know. Whatever, all right? You got me.
You hiding something from me?
I'm not hiding anything. What would I hide?
Is he fooling around on me?
Pfft. No.
No, ma'am.
- You better not be lying to me. - I'm not lying.
If he was fooling around on you, you'd know it.
I feel like he is.
He's always sneaking around and coming home way too late for just band practice.
What's it y'all even do?
This is some, like... This is like some personal shit
you guys got to talk about with each other.
Know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Fair enough.
You see my husband, you'd better warn him before he comes home.
Okay. I'll do that.
Have a nice day, Jane. Cool.
All right.
- Oh, shit. - Grab a rag, dude.
I ran into Jane.
- And? - She's looking for Dick.
Not like dick, but you know...
What'd you say to her, man?
I don't know. What I could tell her. I told her I hadn't seen him.
Oh, fuck, man! Fuck!
Don't get excited, man. Just let us clean the car.
Ain't sayin' we're implicated in nothin'. Just clean the car and we'll be straight.
All right.
- What'd they do in Pulp Fiction? - Call Anthony Kiedis.
You're thinkin' of Harvey Keitel.
Anthony Kiedis is the dude from Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Will you shut the fuck up? I'm really fucking stressed out now.
I was telling you who Anthony Kiedis...
- Rub the seat, dude. - This shit is nasty.
What's this?
That's Haley. He's Cynthia's. You can leave it.
Tsk.
Know what, dude?
Even if we got this totally cleaned out, they still got ways to test for DNA.
Fuck, fuck.
What are we gonna do?
I mean, we could just tell 'em it was stolen.
Yes, ma'am. Thank you.
Huh...
Odd.
DNA results came back negative.
- There's no DNA? - Inconclusive! I mean, inconclusive.
- How could DNA be inconclusive? - Um...
I don't know.
Anything on those assholes that dropped off Mr. Doe yet?
No, ma'am. Not yet.
Tsk.
I spoke with the missus earlier.
Said she's gonna make me a quiche for when I get home.
She's super excited I'm on this case. So...
Ahem. Anything on John Doe himself?
Any missing person's report?
Do we have anything?
I mean, I can keep digging,
but seems like the best we can hope for right now is, uh,
something just falls into our laps.
Hmm.
Hmm.
- Okay. - Okay.
Push.
Well, dang.
That sucks.
I guess we should have checked the depth first.
Are you gonna help me, or are you gonna go to jail?
Fuck!
Fuck!
Hold up. Let me put my shit down. Try not to get my phone wet.
Yo, give me your hand. Just reach forward.
- Can you reach? - Fuck, dude.
Do that shit on purpose? Tryin' to help you...
Why are you being a dick hole?
Ow! Fuck!
Stop it, dude. I'm fuckin' bleeding.
Yeah. That's what's up. Sorry.
Fuck, dude. I think you made me chip my tooth.
- No. Seriously? - Not sure. Right here.
- In the front? - Naw, that's a bridge.
A little... It's a little rough.
- Yeah. Right? - Yeah.
Old plates!
Sorry, dude, I just gotta go.
Yo... How's Comet?
I dunno, I got to get back over to the house.
Oh, God... Jesus Christ!
Sorry, I thought you'd be gone by now, Earl.
No, it's cool.
- Gone? - Yeah. Hey, Zeke.
Sorry to have startled y'all. Just comin' in to feed the animals.
Where you goin'?
- Nowhere. Just whatever. - Wait, are you staying now?
I already helped you out. So, like...
I gotta go, dude.
All right.
Well...
Thanks for your help, "buddy."
Are y'all breakin' up or somethin'?
Naw, I just... I gotta...
Wife's waiting on me.
And I gotta walk.
Lemme get them short... Fuck it. I'll get those shorts later.
What, did y'all knock over a bank?
I want some money!
- You want a beer or somethin'? - All right, yeah.
- Where've you been? - Up at Earl's.
- Dick left his driver's license. - Oh.
You know, I just can't believe what happened last night.
You think you live in a safe place, but it's just everywhere, you know?
There's this dark, fucked-up-ness everywhere
- you think you can get away from, but... - Lyds?
No, I'm sorry, I won't go on and on about it. It's just...
- It's just unsettling is all. - Yeah, I know.
I just gotta... I gotta tell you something.
Okay.
I think, um...
Did, uh... Did...
What's the problem, Zeke?
You're so fucking hot.
Thank you.
Car got stolen.
What?
Yeah, the car got stolen last night.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
What did you take Cynthia to school in this morning?
Earl drove her.
- So... - What? Who... who stole it?
I don't...
- Holy shit. - Yeah.
The car got stolen?
Why are... Why didn't you tell me?
Well, I just did. I didn't want to scare you, you know.
Did you... Did you call the police?
No. Not yet. I'm...
- Yeah. - Not yet?
Zeke, you've been home all day!
- What have you been doing? - Yeah. I mean...
Hasn't been that long probably.
- No, it's fine. - I'll call 'em.
Oh, Lyds. Calm down. Come on. Lydia.
L-L-L-L-Lydia.
Have you gone crazy?
Well, maybe it's just gonna show back up, you know.
- Holy shit. - We'll just deal with it here.
- What? - Zeke, this is...
This has something to do with the... The murders.
Oh, baby, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that, come on.
I thought I heard it driving away last night.
- Yeah, that might've been... - I heard it being stolen
- and I didn't do a damn thing! - No, baby, don't do that.
- You... - Good God!
...left me here alone last night to get robbed by rapists and murderers!
- Where the hell were you? - I'm sorry, baby.
I didn't know somebody was gonna come steal the car.
I'm calling the cops.
Why? What if we just wait a little while?
Zeke! I could have been raped and murdered last night,
your daughter could have been.
And you didn't call the fucking police, for Christ's sakes!
What's wrong with you? Do you even care?
I do care. I care... I care a ton.
- Then why haven't you called the police? - I don't know.
Sorry to interrupt, ma'am, but guess what?
What?
Oh, um, got something that could be helpful
for y'all's rape and murder deal.
A Mrs. Lydia Olsen, uh, came and reported a stolen car.
- And guess where she lives. - Where?
Uh, she lives on Highway 16.
Hmm. That's by St. Germain.
Well, you oughta come out with me, Dudley,
since you're gettin' a quiche for bein' on the case.
- Zeke, that's the police. - Police?
There's nothing to worry about, baby. You just watch your program, okay?
Well, hey, there!
Huh?
- We meet again. - Mr. Olsen?
No. Yes... Yes.
- Come on in, Officers. - Oh.
My wife is in the kitchen. She called you.
- This is a funny little coincidence. - Hilarious.
Is this about the wallet?
- No, ma'am. It's about your car. - Right this way.
Told you, baby, there's nothing to worry about, all right?
Just watch your program.
Skoochie.
Is there anything we can get y'all?
- Some black coffee'd be nice. - Sure. Mm-hmm.
Okay. So let's, uh, start at the beginning.
- It was stolen last night? - Yes, ma'am.
And you were both here?
- Uh, no, ma'am. Just me. - Just my wife Lydia.
All right.
What happened?
Uh, well, Zeke was off at the bar,
and my daughter Cynthia, and I were here.
I'd... I'd put her down and gone to bed myself.
And, Zeke was...
Wait, at... When did you get home last night?
Uh. I don't know, 4:00 or 5:00 or something.
Which bar is open that late?
- Not tryin' to get anybody in trouble. - Nobody is in trouble yet.
- Except the folks that stole your car. - And the murderer.
Uh... Ahem. So, uh, ma'am, exactly what did you hear?
Uh, well, I heard it peeling off last night,
like really fast. Like peeling out.
Um, and I figured it was Zeke going off to do some donuts.
- Naw. - So, you figure those were the...
Those were... those were the thieves.
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Any idea why they took that car? - It's the good one.
So you have another car.
Yes, ma'am, it's the one I took to work this morning.
And the one you had at the gas station?
Yeah.
What?
- Yeah. I had... I had it this morning. - Excuse me?
I mean, Earl's car. I had... I had my friend Earl's car this morning.
I'm sorry, I just need a little coffee.
Ahem.
- What are you doing? - Hot. Hot, hot, hot.
I'm sorry. I'm okay. But...
You know what I realized? I need to cancel band practice.
But this is an odd time to do that.
I know, baby, but I don't want everyone showing up
when we're trying to talk to the cops... Police officers. Police officers.
Well, tell Dick he left his driver's license.
Right!
I'm sorry. He can be such a spaz sometimes.
I'd get fired for that.
So stupid.
It's a shame you're leavin' town, Earl Wyeth.
Uh, yeah.
Oh, fuck. I got to get this one.
- Family stuff? - Uh, yup.
Wassup? What?
Holy fucking shit, dude. The cops are here.
Dude! Are you serious?
- Yeah. I'm panicking, dude. - What do they want?
Lydia called the cops after I gave her that stolen car bit.
Tsk.
Yeah. I guess we didn't totally think that one through.
Yeah, I think they think my car going missing
has something to do with the murders.
Hold up, murders? Like plural?
You know what I mean, dude.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I should just come clean.
Fuck that noise, dude! Hell, no. Just, look... Just stick to your guns, dude.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Look, just chill out, dog. It's all good.
Just like, stick to your story, dude.
They see right through me, dude. I'm a horrible bluffer.
No way, dude, you're like, an awesome bluffer.
Like, do you wanna go to jail? You know what I'm sayin'.
Look, just bluff until your asshole blows out.
- Okay. - Look, it's all on you.
Just don't fuck it up.
Oh, fuck. What the fuck?
What the fuck? Oh, shit.
We're really not at liberty to discuss
- any ongoing criminal investigations. - Oh, no. I understand, it's...
But I wouldn't worry.
Nobody is gonna bother your family anymore, probably.
Sheriff Spenser,
got something for you.
- What? - Should I?
Yeah, shut yours off. What?
Dr. Richter at St. Germain would like to speak to y'all down there ASAP.
Okay. Thanks, Mailer. Well, we gotta cut this short.
Okay.
So, Mr. Olsen, uh, I think we're all set here now.
- Oh, we've gotta run. - Oh, no! I missed all the fun?
I'm sorry. So, how do things look for y'all finding my car?
Well, if we find it, we'll call you.
All right.
Take care.
- Thank... thank you for coming out. - Mm-hmm.
Oh, thanks.
Everything all right?
Uh, yeah, everything's cool.
Okay.
- What's wrong with you? - I'm sorry. I just got nervous.
What do you have to be nervous about?
Our car got stolen, remember?
And I don't appreciate you making me look like an asshole in front of those cops.
Oh, you did that yourself there, buddy.
You didn't help.
Zeke, just shut up. Okay? I'm trying to make dinner right now,
so either help me or go play guitar or something.
Mama, why did the police come?
Come here, sweetheart.
You know how we talked about there being grown-ups
- like that boy who bites you at recess? - Justin Becker.
Yes. Well, some people like Justin Becker just up and stole your Daddy's car.
- Oh, no! - Mm-hmm.
- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.
- Are we gonna get it back? - I don't know.
- When was it stolen? - Last night.
- Nuh-uh. - Yuh-huh!
No. You drove me in it this morning.
No, baby girl. That was Earl's car.
Nuh-uh. Before that, at the gas station.
Yeah, this morning, before we came and took a bath.
- What's she talking about, Zeke? - She's confused.
Maybe it's not stolen!
Sweetheart, did Daddy take you to school this morning?
No. Earl Wyeth did.
See? There you go.
Daddy drove me to the gas station in his car.
The rusty one.
Sweetheart, dinner'll be ready in a bit.
Why don't you go run and play with your Playmobils?
Did I get Daddy in trouble?
- No, honey. - Yes, you did get Daddy in trouble.
- You shut up. - Thank you, baby.
Run off, Cynthia.
What the hell was she talking about, Zeke?
She's confused.
No, she ain't confused. You're lying.
No, I can see it on your face, liar. What's going on?
Hey, what happened last night?
Shut the refrigerator door. You're makin' all our food rotten.
DNA results come back?
- Yeah, afraid they did. - Negative?
I'm sorry, what?
I mean... I mean inconclusive. They came back inconclusive?
Yes, initially.
Since then, we've been able to nail down something a little more conclusive,
if that's what you want to call it.
Lydia, there are some things that you shouldn't know.
Try me.
It's none of your business.
Dick...
Dick Long is dead.
What?
He died last night.
Well, shoot.
All right, the semen, the sperm.
It's... It's not from a human being.
I'm sorry?
I'm sorry, too, Spense, but it's not human.
What hap... How did he die?
He fell on a table saw.
What were you sawing in the middle of the night?
Jesus, Zeke. Tell me the truth!
I'm gonna... I don't know.
How did he die?
He got shot. By a hunter.
- Alcohol poisoning. Fuck! - Zeke.
It was a slip and fall!
Lydia, you don't want to know.
Now.
- Are you talking about the semen? - Yes, ma'am.
Where in the hell did it come from then?
It's from a horse.
As in... an equine?
It was fucking Comet.
- The truth! - That is the truth!
What was he doing riding Comet?
No...
Comet fucked him to death.
Huh?
Are you... joking?
I don't... I don't understand. I don't...
You can't be serious.
I don't know what to say.
This happened...
- last night? After band practice? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
What... What did you... What did you do? Did you just...
Were you there?
No.
You can't be serious. This is... stupid.
Uh... Did you...
- Partake? - Lydia...
No... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God.
Oh, all of those "band practices."
What the fuck? Zeke, do you even have a band?
Please. "Pink Freud." You know I have a band.
So, for the past eight years, you've been...
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry, I don't know what to say. - Just stop. Stop.
Stop touching me!
Oh, my God.
- I'm sorry, Lydia, you know me. - No, I don't.
You... fuckin' pervert and a fucking weedhead!
It's gotta be something to do with the weed, you fucking stoner!
You don't even know what you're doing half your life!
Lydia. It's not anything to do... I just...
- I'm just who I am, who I say I am... - Fucking bestial!
- ...who I told you I am. - Are you kidding me?
Baby, please, come on.
Just... Just get out. Zeke, just... Just leave.
- Baby, listen. - Get the fuck out of my house!
Don't you talk to her.
- Lydia. - I'm calling the cops!
No, don't do that. Lydia, don't do that.
Lydia!
I don't know what to say!
Lydia, please!
- You stay away from us. - Baby, we didn't hurt Dick.
Please.
Lydia, don't make me break this door down.
Get away from us, you cocksucker!
Fucking fuck! Fuck me!
- Fuck! - Are you all right?
Oh. Ezekiel?
- Zeke... - Fuck!
Zeke...
- Hey, stop! - Fuck you!
I'm sorry. I...
I just... I wish there was something I could say.
Is this real life?
- So... - Hmm.
- How's that? - That's fine.
Ow. Ow.
I just, I can't... Zeke, I just... I can't.
You want me to go?
Yes. Yes, I do.
I understand.
Uh...
I appreciate you givin' me a little first aid.
You're welcome.
- You want I should pack up some... - Just leave.
You can get your stuff some other time. You just leave right now.
- I'm just gonna say goodbye to Cyn. - That's fine.
Bye.
I love you.
Zeke... I think I deserve to know what...
- What? - I don't know what to say.
Yes, you do.
You're just a coward.
We never done anything like that before.
Not what... Not what Dick did last night.
I mean, not in particular. Not specifically.
I mean, we'd gone down there and done stuff before, but...
Look, I don't think there's anything I could say that'd make it okay
or make you understand it, 'cause I don't understand it myself.
Me and Earl have been doin' that stuff...
with, uh, Comet...
since long before I even met you, so...
Didn't have anything to do with you.
But I love you.
I'm pathetic.
I'm sorry. I don't know.
Guess when you're lonely, it doesn't always go away when you get married.
Okay.
...because we have a lot of ground to cover.
Do you want to cover it in the hot tub?
The connection is definitively there with Tonya.
I don't even know how to describe it.
It was just really intense.
I was really down at heart to watch them in the hot tub earlier.
Okay, like, the hot tub is for everybody.
Will you pause this crap for a second?
Todd, control your girl, because...
I'm gonna have to leave for a little while.
Why?
Well...
Because of why Mom was yelling at you?
Yeah. She's upset about the car.
Why?
Cars are expensive, baby.
But it's not your fault.
I know. I know.
What's a cocksucker?
Don't you worry about anything now, okay?
'Cause I'm just going to be over at Earl's.
- But what's a cocksucker? - It's nothing.
I just need you to listen to me for a second.
- But what is it? - It's an insult.
Momma was very upset with me, okay?
But what does it mean?
It means I suck on penises, okay? But I don't, so...
I gotta take off, all right?
Might not see you for a while. I'm not sure what's gonna happen.
What about my piano recital?
Oh, I'll be there for that. Definitely!
Definitely be there for that.
Hey, babe, I need you to know that I love you very much, okay?
I love you and your momma very much.
Okay.
Mm.
You can un-mute your program or whatever.
Can you please just calm down?
Later, guys.
I have to say I feel like Tonya and Cory are a perfect match,
because they're just, like, going on faith.
I am being real...
You are not being real with me. Yo.
I was trying... No, no, no... Let me finish, all right?
You never listen.
I'm trying to talk here... I do not...
Right.
How ya' doin', Zeke?
- Hey. - Mm. Bad night?
Yeah, real bad. Yeah.
Is everything goin' to be all right?
Pretty sure no.
All right, what are you havin'?
Uh... Do a couple Dos Equis.
Sí. Cuatro Equis.
Uh, make it seis.
All right. BRB.
How's that?
- Hey. - Hey.
See that band? Like those costumes.
Got fuckin' flea market Jesus on bass.
- Still around? - Tsk.
- What happened with the cops? - Dude!
What? Okay, what... What happened?
Don't worry, dude. They don't know shit.
All right, here we go. Earl, you want anything?
Naw, I'm cool.
- Actually, hold up. Um, yeah. - Actually, I'll take...
Let me get some, like, onion rings with some honey mustard sauce.
- Okay. - Oh, well, hold up.
And, uh, let me get a... Let me get a beer or something, too.
- Is that all? - That's all.
What'd you do to your hand?
Punched a pane of glass.
I keep thinking Dick's gonna come back and kill us,
like in I Know What You Did Last Summer.
Look, dude.
You're into some seriously fucked up shit, okay?
You need to really look inside yourself and come to terms with that.
Tsk. I mean, I have. Just do it.
Yeah, I know.
All right. There you go.
Ahem. Excuse me, uh, I asked for honey mustard.
- Well, that's... It's not? - No, this is like honey Dijon.
It's got, like, a spiciness to it. AKA tastes fuckin' nasty.
Would it be possible to trade this
just for, like, the bright, yellow, normal stuff they put on salads?
'Cause that's all I'm asking for.
- Yes. - Tight.
You're an asshole.
I'm not an asshole, man. I just know what I like.
Glad they found each other.
Let me ask you something on behalf of my buddy there, Ted. Uh...
- What is your full name? - It's Theodore.
Huh? Hey! Hear that, Duds?
Another officer's named Edward
and he goes by Ted, too.
- I guess it's pretty rare. - Mm. Bob's another one.
Bob not so bad. But Dick, that's a weird one.
How do you get "Dick" outta "Richard"?
You'll have to ask his wife.
Wait, what?
He says, "How do you get 'Dick' outta 'Richard'?"
And I go, "You'll have to ask his wife!"
Yeah, no. I know, but...
- "Dick" is short for "Richard"? - Oh, yeah. You didn't know that, Duds?
Wait. Did Zeke Olson give me his friend's wallet?
Huh?
Okay, his wife said Dick left his driver's license.
The wallet belonged to Richard Long,
and it didn't have a driver's license.
Why would he do that?
I don't know.
- It's good? - Mm.
- Did you break your chair? - Yeah, it sucks.
Yo, I should fuckin' legit bounce tonight.
Hey, yo, the places in Shelby County should be cheap.
Take me home.
I ain't takin' you home.
- Take me the fuck home. - Are you serious, dude?
I ain't takin' you home.
I'm not taking you home.
All right.
I'll, uh...
Talk to you soon?
Still nothing with the Longs.
Called twice earlier just about the wallet to no availability.
"No avail."
I'll head over to the Longs.
You head over to the Olsons'. Come in here first, though.
Sit, I mean.
All right.
I told you that you didn't have to crack the case.
- Yeah, I just... - You might could use this.
If the missing car at the Olsons'
and Ezekiel Olson's behavior
are any way related to our John Doe,
you'd better brace yourself.
- Pineapple juice? - No, thanks.
Yeah, okay.
Go.
'Least you'll have a quiche waiting for you.
Hey, there, buddy. Hey, there.
Come on.
Good boy.
There you go.
Good boy. Good boy, you want a brushing?
You want a brushing? Hmm? Let's get you a brushing.
Holy moly.
- There's no one here. - No one?
Nah. Anything from Dudley?
There you go. That's a good boy.
Sorry. I saw a light on.
No. That's all right. I was just...
- There's no band practice tonight? - No.
No, we had... We canceled it.
You couldn't get in touch with Dick?
Yeah.
I haven't heard from him all day.
Well, you want to come in?
Come on, come on in.
I'm worried.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I feel bad.
What? Why?
I was too lazy to make dinner last night.
I don't know why. I just, like, didn't feel like it.
Too tired from school, I think, or something. So...
Dick had to go out and get Arby's.
I could have made meatloaf or something.
There's no way you could have known.
Known what?
I dunno...
Is Dick cheating on me?
No.
- Then where is he? - I don't know.
God, Zeke... I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing here.
I thought that y'all be having band practice.
No, that's all right.
That's all right. It's okay.
Oh, yeah. I should get going. I should be home, just in case.
Yeah. Go home. Get you some sleep. Rest up.
I'll walk ya to your car.
- What happened to your hand? - Aw, nothing. I got bit by a dog.
- A dog? Sammy? - Yeah. No. Just a dog.
- Holy crap. - What's going on?
I'm not sure.
Wait here for a second.
- Mr. Olson, I didn't know you were home. - Neither did I.
I was at the barn. The missus and I had a little disagreement after y'all left.
I've been out there, everything okay?
Yeah, everything's fine. I had a few more questions for you about your car.
I hope it's not too late.
No, it's fine. No, it's...
- Hi. - Hello, there.
I seem to have stumbled into a bit of a...
- No, it's nothing. It's... - Oh, I'm a friend. I was leaving. Just...
Everything okay?
- Well, Olsons' car was stolen last night. - Oh, God.
- You wanna come inside? - Thank you.
Car was stolen?
- Yeah, can you believe it? - Horrible. My God.
May I?
By all means, please.
Don't know what's this town is coming to. Murder and grand theft car?
- We're doing the best we can, ma'am. - It's Jane.
- Ahem. So y'all found my car yet, ma'am? - No. Not yet.
Uh, we just left so abruptly, I thought I might should come by
and get some more down 'fore the night's out.
All right, sounds good to me.
Y'all want... Y'all want something to drink?
Oh, I'm fine, thank you.
- Got a PBR. - Ahem.
What, uh...
What can I do you for?
I've just got a few more questions.
- Which car was stolen, Lydia? - It... The station wagon.
Yeah, last night. Right out the... Right out the basement.
Mrs. Olson, if you could have a seat, too, we can get this over with real quick.
I'm sorry. She's put out with me.
Be right back.
Lyds, what are you doing?
- What the hell is Jane doing here? - She's lookin' for Dick.
Goddammit, Zeke! I can't...
- Keep a tight... - Don't touch me!
I need you to keep your calm, all right?
You need me to lie to one of my best friends.
Need to make you...
I need you.
Okay, great. Thanks.
I should just go. This is none of my business.
You can go.
I don't have any questions I need to ask you, I don't think.
Do you have?
No. Uh... I was just here looking for my husband,
'cause he's in a band with Zeke.
Oh, yeah? Oh, what kinda music do they play?
Mostly classic rock.
Oh, that's cool.
Can we come up with a fuckin' plan?
Why did you come back?
I didn't have anywhere else to go.
A fucking motel or something, for Chrissakes!
Zeke, you're dragging this back into your family.
This is too much.
Why didn't you just go to Earl's or something?
- Earl's gone. - Was he...
You have a serious problem.
- I know. - No, you don't.
You wouldn't know what the truth was if it slapped you in the face.
Fuck you.
They're called Pink Freud.
- That's awesome. - Ahem. She's coming.
Uh, Jane here's just telling me about y'all's band.
Y'all want anything to drink?
I'm fine, thank you.
Right.
Oh, sweetheart, just... Go back to bed.
It's okay.
Fuck.
Ahem.
If we can get this show on the road, that'd be great.
- It's been a long day. - I understand.
- Sorry, I should get going. - No, no, no, it's fine.
Um, have some coffee before you leave.
Oh, it's all right, Lydia, don't worry about it.
No, it's fine. Just sit!
- I have only a few questions for you. - Shoot.
Uh, first off, we're gonna have to get
the registration number and everything from you.
- All right. - Here you go.
Oh, thank you.
Take it, ma'am.
- Oh, no, thank you, ma'am. - Oh.
I'll take it.
- Are you okay, hon? - No, I'm fine. Just... Y'know.
Well, I guess my main question, Mr. and Mrs. Olson,
is why did you wait until tonight to report the car as stolen?
I guess I didn't really notice it.
You didn't notice that your car had been stolen?
It's not really... it doesn't... It's not really a good car.
Okay, I'm sorry, but earlier you said
you thought the thieves took that car because it was the good one.
Well...
It's a station wagon,
and he says he doesn't like to drive it because it makes him look gay.
- Yeah, a total gaylord car. - Uh-huh.
So, exactly when did you notice that it was missing?
When Lydia got home, she noticed it.
Is that right, Mrs. Olson?
Six o'clock.
And, uh, Mr. Olson, was that before or after you borrowed your friend's car?
That would be before.
Oh, all right.
- Um, and what's your friend's name again? - Earl.
- Wyeth. Earl Wyeth. - Uh-huh.
Does he live around here?
No.
He's just through the woods. Meth Mountain trailer park.
Don't call it that.
It's three miles in. But he just skipped town.
I'm just... Jane, you want some coffee or something?
I mean, more. Do you want more coffee?
I'm fine, I hardly drank any of it.
I could really use some straight answers from you, Mr. Olson.
Huh? I'm sorry, go on.
- Go right ahead. - Zeke, did you give Jane, um...
- About that wallet you gave me. - What?
Where'd you find it exactly?
- Lydia, did you, um... - I don't really remember... The bar?
And do you know who it belonged to?
Richard Long?
Excuse me?
I'm sorry?
Did you just say that he gave you my husband's wallet?
Wait, what?
Well, Richard Long is my husband.
Pink Freud.
Y'all called about his wallet?
You're Mrs. Long?
Yeah.
Zeke, why didn't you just call us?
Mr. Olson, I... What?
Left... He left his wallet here last night.
Why didn't you just give it back to him tonight at practice, then?
I dunno.
I... I don't know anything.
Zeke?
Mr. Olson?
Lydia didn't know about any of this until tonight.
Know about any of what, Mr. Olson?
Zeke!
Mr. Olson!
C'mon. C'mon.
What the hell is going on?
I gotta talk to you about something, sweetheart.
Mr. Olson! Come out of the barn with your hands above your head.
C'mon, c'mon! Go on, go on, go on!
What are you doing? Go! Go on!
Hold it right there!
Go on!
Now, go! Go!
Sorry, Officer.
Missed NCIS: New Orleans last night.
What episode was it?
- I said I missed it, Duds. - Oh, right, right, right.
We're not going to hold Ezekiel Olson.
I'm sorry, ma'am, but what?
Dick Long's death certificate reads "death by misadventure."
Not a homicide.
Charge Olson with reckless endangerment, obstruction of justice.
I mean, those are just the PG charges, ma'am!
He's a pervert! Excuse me.
All right, but...
How 'bout you check with Mrs. Long,
see if she wants that broadcast on Fox 6?
See how Zeke Olson's daughter feels 'bout pressing charges?
That's some terrible logic.
Well, not sayin' it's logical. Not sayin' that at all.
You know...
this is the second time this has happened.
What? Are you kidding me?
Of course I'm kidding you!
Oh, c'mon, Dudley! What's the matter with you? Lordy!
You c'mon.
I don't think it's funny at all.
People sure are inscrutable on their insides, huh?
I don't know what else besides that to say, I guess.
You rather stay here, man?
Zeke.
What're you doing here?
- I'm out on my own recognizance. - How's that workin' out?
We'll see.
Zeke, just stop it. What are you doing here?
I'd like to kiss you goodbye.
Zeke, don't.
- I'm sorry. - I know.
It's pretty good, honeybutt.
I heard you burned the house down today, is that right?
- I guess. - That's wonderful.
I'm gonna put her down, Dad.
Mm.
I want to do your cat face.
Thank you, buddy!
Oh, shit. Oh, look who finally came to their senses.
- You all right? - I gotta sit down.
Yeah, go for it.
What happened?
I gotta leave town with you.
Yeah, well, as soon as we leave here, we'll be cool.
Yeah.
Earl Wyeth, I'm goin' to bed if...
Well, hey, there, Zeke.
Hey, there, to you.
You comin' with us?
I guess so.
Well, dang, Zeke.
You're a good guy for comin' along when your friend's in need.
All right.
- Y'all wanna get weird? - Naw, I'm all good. Appreciate it.
No, I'm good. I don't want to do it right now.
All right. Y'all are weird.
- Earl... - I asked her to come with me.
What'd you tell her?
I dunno, I told her I had some family shit.
So what happens when we end up nowhere?
♪ Never made it as a wise man ♪
♪ I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin' ♪
All right.
♪ Tired of livin' like a blind man ♪
♪ I'm sick... ♪ Fuck me.
♪ Sick of sight without a sense of feelin' ♪
♪ This is how you remind me ♪
It's coming, dude.
I'm glad you came, dude.
It's gonna be all right.
♪ Never made it as a wise man ♪
Fuck.
♪ Couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing ♪
♪ Tired of livin'... Tired of livin'... ♪
♪ Tired, tired... Fuck, tired... ♪
♪ Tired of livin' like a blind man ♪
♪ Tired of livin' like a blind man ♪
♪ Sick of sight without a sense of feeling ♪
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