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1
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,709
You know, you could at least
knock before you barge in.
2
00:00:13,796 --> 00:00:15,754
Al, you know the rule.
3
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,408
No boys in the room.
4
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:18,888
Oh, yeah?
5
00:00:18,975 --> 00:00:20,672
Then what do you call that?
6
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,590
I'm not a boy.
I'm a man.
7
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:34,556
[LAUGHTER]
8
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:38,038
Seriously, Al, get out.
9
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,474
Okay,
where am I supposed to go
10
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,084
for a little privacy,
the closet?
11
00:00:41,171 --> 00:00:42,825
J.T.:
It's taken.
12
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,225
Hi.
I'm Jessica.
13
00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:52,443
Thanks for letting us
use your closet.
14
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:53,879
Mm-hmm.
15
00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:55,968
J.T.!
16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,536
Out of your mind?
17
00:00:58,623 --> 00:01:01,104
You can't have a date
in our closet.
18
00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,714
Hey, well, we wanted
to use the room,
19
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:04,760
but Al and Mr. Smoochy Face
showed up,
20
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,153
so we had to improvise,
21
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,850
and, believe me,
we did.
22
00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:12,724
Look, it is my room.
I am the oldest.
23
00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,639
Now get out, or I'm gonna
have to get ugly.
24
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:16,859
It's too late.
25
00:01:20,036 --> 00:01:21,559
Oh, look, a party.
26
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:23,648
Hi, everybody.
27
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,259
Oh, listen, Al,
28
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:27,565
could you cover for me
at the salon tomorrow?
29
00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,263
I'm supposed
to open up for Mom,
30
00:01:29,350 --> 00:01:32,527
but I have to buy a scarf
to match my new shoes.
31
00:01:32,614 --> 00:01:34,355
I think
you see my dilemma.
32
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,620
Look, Karen, you can just
take that key and--
33
00:01:38,707 --> 00:01:40,665
And you can just
give it right to Al.
34
00:01:40,752 --> 00:01:43,625
I mean, darn it,
we're family.
35
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:47,629
Doesn't that mean anything
to anybody anymore?
36
00:01:47,716 --> 00:01:49,500
What?
37
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,937
You come with me, missy.
You need a good talking to.
38
00:01:53,548 --> 00:01:55,550
Don't worry about her.
I'll straighten her out.
39
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:01,208
J.T., why should I
cover for Karen?
40
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:05,212
Because this is the key
to the love shack.
41
00:02:05,299 --> 00:02:07,301
What are you talking about?
42
00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,912
Al, during the day,
it's a salon,
43
00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,479
but at night
when nobody's there,
44
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,481
it's like having
your own apartment.
45
00:02:13,568 --> 00:02:15,004
We could trade off nights.
46
00:02:15,091 --> 00:02:17,398
You and Drew
can go up there one night,
47
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:18,442
and then me and, uh--
what's the name of the girl
I was making out with?
48
00:02:18,529 --> 00:02:20,009
-Jessica?
-Right, Jessica.
49
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:22,446
Me and Jessica, we can
go there the next night.
50
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:29,714
J.T., I never
thought I'd say this,
but you are a genius.
51
00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:31,716
Yes, I am.
52
00:02:37,069 --> 00:02:39,071
Well, how did
Jean-Luc take it
53
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,116
when you told him
he was coming over here
for a blind date?
54
00:02:40,203 --> 00:02:41,900
Uh, I never told him.
55
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,511
You didn't tell him?
56
00:02:43,598 --> 00:02:45,600
Honey, he's coming
over here now.
57
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:47,123
I know. I know.
58
00:02:47,210 --> 00:02:48,820
But I knew if I told him
he was being fixed up,
59
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:50,170
he probably
wouldn't show up,
60
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,388
so I thought
it would be better
61
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:53,390
if I just, you know,
surprised him.
62
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:56,524
Oh, Carol, I don't think
that's a good idea.
63
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,003
I mean, come on.
64
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,483
Why is it that every time
you women
65
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,485
see some poor guy
roaming around free
66
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:03,661
you feel he's gotta
get roped in?
67
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,841
Roped in?
68
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,540
Is that how you feel about
our relationship, Frank,
69
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,585
that I roped you in?
70
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:19,199
Well, roped in
isn't what I meant.
71
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,767
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
72
00:03:22,854 --> 00:03:25,030
Oh, Carol.
73
00:03:27,990 --> 00:03:31,428
I adore these
American family barbecues.
74
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:34,257
The greasy,
fat-filled hamburger.
75
00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:37,478
And these,
these little, yellow slices
76
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,958
of individually-wrapped
petroleum
77
00:03:40,045 --> 00:03:42,787
that you naively call "cheese."
78
00:03:42,874 --> 00:03:47,314
And for dessert, a marshmallow
burned to a crisp
79
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:50,708
on a filthy, dirty,
stick from a tree.
80
00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:55,670
[AMERICAN ACCENT]
Now that's good eatin'.
81
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,368
Now where is the rest of your
barbecue-loving family?
82
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:00,979
Um, actually it's just gonna
be you, me, Frank,
83
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:04,069
and a woman named Julie
who's, uh, gonna be sitting
next to you.
84
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,984
But it's not a date.
85
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,117
Carol,
you promised you would
not try to fix me up
86
00:04:08,204 --> 00:04:09,814
with a woman until
I told you I was ready.
87
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:11,468
I know. I know.
88
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,992
But yesterday at the salon
I saw you fondling a wig
89
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,820
just a little too long,
and...
90
00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,692
I thought,
"This man is ready."
91
00:04:19,955 --> 00:04:22,305
But, Carol,
this is like
a blind date.
92
00:04:22,392 --> 00:04:23,393
I feel trapped.
93
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,265
Ooh, don't go there.
94
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,488
Frank, tell her
how wrong this is.
95
00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,098
Yeah, well, I'd love
to help you out,
96
00:04:33,185 --> 00:04:34,883
but it gets real lonely
sleeping by myself.
97
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,189
Tell me about it.
98
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,539
Well, listen,
you French have to learn
to stand on your own, okay?
99
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:45,241
Listen,
Miss Love Connection,
100
00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:46,808
this will never,
ever work.
101
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:48,679
Why not?
102
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:51,160
Because I don't even remember
what to do on a date.
103
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:52,770
You know
when was the last time
I had a date?
104
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:54,032
I'll tell you.
105
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,339
We went to see Police Academy 1.
106
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,778
Okay, so it was
a long time ago,
107
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,302
but I've seen you
around women.
108
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,738
You're very charming.
109
00:05:03,825 --> 00:05:05,261
Ah, yes, on the outside,
110
00:05:05,348 --> 00:05:09,004
of course I'm suave,
masculine...
111
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:16,794
Virile love predator...
112
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:18,883
with a touch
of boyish charm
113
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:22,800
and just a--
just a hint of the kinky.
114
00:05:26,021 --> 00:05:27,152
But that's just a facade,
115
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,154
a veil, a mask,
116
00:05:29,241 --> 00:05:32,549
a cheap toupee I put
over the bald spot of my life.
117
00:05:36,858 --> 00:05:37,946
Hey, come on.
118
00:05:38,033 --> 00:05:39,948
I know
you're a little nervous,
119
00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,471
but, you know,
you gotta start dating
sooner or later.
120
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,430
Now, you see,
what you're saying
makes sense.
121
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:44,561
Except for one thing.
122
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:45,693
-What?
-I'm leaving.
123
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:51,394
No, Jean-Luc--
124
00:05:51,481 --> 00:05:54,528
Hi, I'm Julie.
You must be Jean-Luc.
125
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:56,138
No, I'm Ed
from Roto-Rooter.
126
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:59,489
I just came over
to snake out the toilets.
127
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,186
I'd shake hands with you,
128
00:06:01,273 --> 00:06:03,014
but my arm has been
halfway to China and back.
129
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:04,799
See ya.
130
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,714
He's such a kidder.
Jean-Luc!
131
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:08,585
[LAUGHS]
132
00:06:08,672 --> 00:06:13,982
Jean-Luc.
This is Jean-Luc, and he
is so glad to meet you.
133
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:17,289
[STIFLED LAUGH]
134
00:06:32,870 --> 00:06:35,264
Yeah, no problem
being alone in here.
135
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:36,439
Yeah.
136
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,006
[DANA GIGGLES]
137
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:45,187
You know what I would
really like to do?
138
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:48,799
Oh, if there's a God
in Heaven, yes!
139
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:52,499
I would like
to shampoo you.
140
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:58,026
[BOTH SCREAM]
141
00:06:58,113 --> 00:06:59,723
What are you doing here?
142
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:02,639
Nothing.
Now that you're here.
143
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,728
What's your excuse?
144
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:07,035
Oh, J.T., uh, told me
about your little
love shack here,
145
00:07:07,122 --> 00:07:09,037
and he gave me
a copy of the key.
146
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:12,344
Okay, um, all right,
we can make this work.
147
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,651
Look, we'll take
the main room,
148
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:18,655
and you and Mr. Bubbles can,
uh, take the shampoo room.
149
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:20,048
Fine.
150
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:27,838
J.T.:
Here we are.
151
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:32,495
Hey, Al, bud. Y'all remember,
uh, Jessica, right?
152
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,065
Great, now beat it.
153
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:40,068
-You wish.
-Yeah, we were here first.
154
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:42,723
Look, Al, listen,
I know I told you tonight
was your night,
155
00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:44,681
but Jessica
has to work tomorrow, okay?
156
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,901
So we're gonna have
to do a little rescheduling,
so how's this?
157
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:48,816
Uh, I get it tonight,
158
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,687
and I don't really care
about anything else.
159
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:52,384
-You guys can work that out,
all right?
-Oh, no...
160
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,474
[ALL ARGUING]
161
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,216
J.T., what's going on, man?
162
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,958
I ran into, like,
six other people who
have a key to this place.
163
00:08:01,045 --> 00:08:04,440
Now, you told me
this would be my own
private paradise.
164
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:08,749
Sorry, pal.
Paradise is all
booked up tonight.
165
00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:09,924
Uh, excuse me, buddy.
166
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:12,100
Hi. Um, how many
other people
167
00:08:12,187 --> 00:08:13,667
did you give a copy
of the key to?
168
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,407
Just a few close friends.
169
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,583
How few?
170
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,020
Anyone who had ten bucks.
171
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,283
[ALL ARGUING]
172
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:25,983
What is going on here?
173
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,333
Hello? What is going on?
174
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:29,857
I don't believe this.
175
00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,598
Josh and I were
walking down the street,
176
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,643
and we see everybody
having a party in here.
177
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:36,777
Yeah, well,
J.T. sold the key to,
like, a million people
178
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:39,475
so they could just
use this place
like a den of iniquity.
179
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:42,130
Cool.
180
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:46,047
Look, J.T., either I
get to be alone with Donna,
181
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,701
or I want my money back.
182
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:48,963
Yeah, man,
you ripped us off.
Pay up.
183
00:08:49,050 --> 00:08:50,921
[ALL ARGUING]
184
00:08:53,228 --> 00:08:55,752
Hey, wait a minute!
Wait a minute.
185
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,145
I got an idea.
186
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:58,668
All right? Let's see.
All right.
187
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,061
I'll use the money
for food and stuff.
188
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,410
We'll have a major party.
189
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:02,498
-Huh?
-Right on.
190
00:09:02,585 --> 00:09:04,761
-Yeah?
-Yeah.
191
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,850
I'm the man.
Yeah!
192
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:13,727
Can I ask you a question,
Frank?
193
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,032
Sure.
194
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,469
What's going on?
195
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,733
Every time I try
to talk to Jean-Luc,
196
00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:21,604
he runs into the kitchen
to help Carol.
197
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,911
It's like he's trying
to avoid me.
198
00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:26,653
Oh, no, no, he--
he's not avoiding you.
199
00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:29,830
He, um, he likes to cook.
200
00:09:29,917 --> 00:09:32,702
JEAN-LUC:
No! No. No.
I will not go out there.
201
00:09:32,789 --> 00:09:34,965
I don't-- no.
You invite her,
you go out there.
202
00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:37,011
You go out there.
But I cannot go out there!
203
00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,578
I cannot face it! No!
204
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,623
[METAL CLANG]
205
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,979
Jean-Luc, would you
come sit out here please?
206
00:09:49,066 --> 00:09:50,590
Okay.
207
00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,341
Frank, could you
come in the kitchen
208
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,256
and help me
with something
for a minute?
209
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,867
-Oh, yeah.
-I will be right back.
Just one moment.
210
00:10:14,439 --> 00:10:19,183
Well, this will give us
a chance to talk.
211
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,755
Okay, I'll start.
Um, I'm from Chicago.
212
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:27,322
Where--
where are you from?
213
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:31,369
Uh, France. France.
214
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,154
Oh.
215
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,985
I think I'll just, uh,
go check the grill.
216
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:40,248
No, do-- do people
barbecue in France?
217
00:10:40,335 --> 00:10:42,685
Uh,
only Joan of Arc.
218
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,165
That's very funny.
219
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,167
Whoa!
220
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:52,608
I think that will lock in
the natural juices.
221
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,441
[COUGHS]
222
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,182
It's all ready.
223
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:08,406
Yeah, uh, it's, uh,
probably going to be
224
00:11:08,493 --> 00:11:11,148
just a tad crunchy
on the outside,
225
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,541
but I don't see the--
226
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:15,500
Uh, uh, just don't mind
my fingers.
227
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,938
It's just a funny,
funny American bun.
228
00:11:18,025 --> 00:11:20,157
They don't quite fit,
but anyway,
229
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:23,291
I don't think
it's anything that a little bit
of barbecue sauce won't fix.
230
00:11:23,378 --> 00:11:25,206
-Eh? No?
-Sure.
231
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:31,168
-[SCREAMS]
-Oh! Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
232
00:11:31,255 --> 00:11:32,779
I'm so sorry.
233
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:34,824
Oh, oh...
Where is the napkin?
234
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:37,566
Oh, I--
I'm so-- so sorry.
235
00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:40,047
Oh, it's all over,
and it's-- it's--
236
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,613
Sorry, off-- off-sides.
Off-sides.
237
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,615
Jean-Luc, Jean-Luc,
calm down.
238
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,531
Oh, look, I know,
it's not easy being fixed up.
239
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,142
I'm-- I'm a little
nervous too.
240
00:11:48,229 --> 00:11:49,230
No, I'm not nervous.
241
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:50,753
I, uh...
[SCOFFS]
242
00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:52,712
I-I-I-I'm just,
uh, not nervous,
243
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,410
because, you know,
I-- I am Jean-Luc.
244
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,586
You know what I am?
I'm a devil may care--
245
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,457
-I'm sorry.
-Oh.
246
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,111
-It got me a little bit.
-No, look...
247
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:04,549
That was a little bit, uh--
hurt me a little bit.
248
00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:07,030
Okay, look,
if this blind date thing
isn't working out, okay,
249
00:12:07,117 --> 00:12:08,423
just-- just say so.
250
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,859
I mean, you don't
have to be so uptight.
251
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:11,992
I am not uptight.
I'm loose.
252
00:12:12,079 --> 00:12:13,602
And I'm loose as a goose.
253
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,430
And, you know, you are
a very loose woman.
254
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,953
I mean--
I mean, uh, uh...
255
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,738
I--
that come out wrong.
256
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:21,175
But, no, really, uh, no,
I mean, you're beautiful.
257
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:23,830
You got this, uh,
splatter film thing going
258
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:24,961
that's very, very--
259
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,528
and, uh,
I like your perfume.
260
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:28,095
I don't know what it is.
May I ask?
261
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,358
I mean, it's delightful,
yet strangely smoky.
262
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,925
You're on fire.
263
00:12:32,012 --> 00:12:33,535
"You're On Fire."
264
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,537
My goodness, that's a bizarre
name for a perfume,
265
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,495
but, then again, so is Joop.
266
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,889
No, Jean-Luc, you're on fire!
267
00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,630
Oh! Oh!
268
00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:44,589
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, oh, oh!
269
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:47,592
Jean-Luc!
270
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,507
[CONTINUES SCREAMING]
271
00:12:50,770 --> 00:12:51,771
Watch it. Watch it.
272
00:13:01,476 --> 00:13:04,566
So, uh, whereabouts
in Chicago are you from?
273
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,020
Thank you for lending me
your clothes, Frank.
274
00:13:26,370 --> 00:13:28,720
Feel kind of like
a homeboy, you know.
275
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:36,337
I, uh, think I found
your wallet, Jean-Luc.
276
00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:41,298
Thank you.
277
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,213
Now let's get out back
and join the ladies.
Come on.
278
00:13:43,300 --> 00:13:46,129
No, Frank. Frank,
I'm not going out there
after what happened.
279
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,915
Oh, come on, Jean-Luc.
That was an accident.
280
00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,178
People have slip-ups
like that all the time.
281
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,921
Frank, I set
my buttocks on fire.
282
00:13:57,445 --> 00:13:59,621
Well, that's something
you usually wanna try and avoid
283
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,492
on a first date, yeah.
284
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:04,321
I made a total fool
of myself.
285
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:05,714
Jean-Luc, listen.
286
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:08,760
I-- I know it's hard
to start dating
287
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,371
when you've just
been through a divorce,
288
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,895
but you gotta
give it a shot.
289
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:14,941
I mean,
once you get past
being nervous,
290
00:14:15,028 --> 00:14:16,290
you might actually
have a good time.
291
00:14:16,377 --> 00:14:18,335
Yeah, that's easy
for you to say, Frank,
292
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,860
because you already have found
the perfect woman in Carol.
293
00:14:20,947 --> 00:14:23,210
Well, that's what makes it
worth the risk.
294
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,821
Somewhere out there
is a woman as perfect
for you
295
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:27,083
as Carol is for me.
296
00:14:30,347 --> 00:14:31,871
Really?
297
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:35,091
Think there's someone
for me as perfect as Carol?
298
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,311
Sure, but you're never
gonna find her
299
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:39,226
unless you
get out there and try.
300
00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:42,882
And you can get out there
and try.
301
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,929
Okay.
302
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:49,279
Thank you, Frank.
Thank you.
303
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:51,064
Hey.
304
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:58,854
You know, it's been so long
since I hug anybody.
305
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:02,336
God, I need a woman.
306
00:15:05,339 --> 00:15:07,689
Well, we just about
got everything cleaned up.
307
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:10,474
I'll just go out back
and, uh, help Carol.
308
00:15:13,651 --> 00:15:16,480
Listen, again, I am--
309
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:20,920
I am so, so sorry
about, uh, your blouse.
310
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,138
It's okay, really.
311
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,227
No, no, no.
It's not okay,
312
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,925
but I want
to make it up to you,
313
00:15:26,012 --> 00:15:27,274
and not
just for the blouse.
314
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:28,623
For the whole evening.
315
00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:32,018
So, uh...
316
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:34,542
uh...
317
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:40,591
uh, would you
like to, uh...
318
00:15:40,678 --> 00:15:42,724
-go...
-Out?
319
00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,987
...to a movie?
320
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:46,771
-That would be nice.
-Oh, really?
321
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:48,556
Oh, thank you.
Oh, that's so nice.
322
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:50,384
Thank you.
If you didn't say yes,
323
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,777
I would have to go outside
and set myself on fire again.
324
00:15:52,864 --> 00:15:54,910
Oh!
325
00:15:57,173 --> 00:15:58,783
Hey, I have an idea.
326
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,611
Why don't Frank and I
go get some takeout,
327
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:02,048
and you two
can just stay here
328
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,571
and get to know
each other better?
329
00:16:03,658 --> 00:16:05,747
Oh, that would be
super extra fantastic.
330
00:16:05,834 --> 00:16:09,185
Hey, I know. We'll go
to the Chinese restaurant
right next to the salon.
331
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:11,231
Oh, that's a good idea.
Frank, don't forget.
332
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,450
Tell the chef that you are
a friend of Jean-Luc.
333
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:16,671
He will make you an enormous
platter of pu pu.
334
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:21,284
That come out wrong.
335
00:16:25,245 --> 00:16:27,160
♪ The love shack baby ♪
336
00:16:27,247 --> 00:16:30,815
♪ Love shack,
baby love shack ♪
337
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:34,167
♪ Love shack,
baby love shack ♪
338
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:37,300
♪ Love shack,
baby love shack... ♪
339
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:39,085
You know what
is so great about us?
340
00:16:39,172 --> 00:16:43,480
The fact that we cannot
keep our hands off
one another?
341
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:45,047
Besides that.
342
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,180
It's the way you get me
to loosen up.
343
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:50,052
I mean, the old me
would have been afraid
to have this party.
344
00:16:50,139 --> 00:16:52,750
But now I've got
a whole new attitude.
345
00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,405
You know,
we should do this
all the time.
346
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,407
I mean, Mom and Frank
will never find out.
347
00:16:57,494 --> 00:16:59,192
They don't
have the first clue
about what's going on.
348
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,150
They might as well
be Ross Perot.
349
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,068
Uh, Dana,
they're right behind you.
350
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:08,984
Oh, yeah,
they're right behind me.
351
00:17:09,071 --> 00:17:11,378
Ooh, I'm in trouble now.
352
00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:14,555
Rich, I'm 20 years old.
What's gonna happen?
353
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:17,645
My mom's gonna catch me?
354
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,168
Hello, Dana.
355
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,606
Oh, my God, it's Mommy.
356
00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:27,611
[MUSIC STOPS]
357
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:31,528
All right, anyone here
who is not related to me
358
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:34,618
by blood or marriage,
get out of here.
359
00:17:34,705 --> 00:17:37,578
And, you, this is
way too much mousse.
Get out.
360
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,063
[GRUNTS]
361
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,369
Rich, you can stay.
362
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:47,588
Oh, good.
363
00:17:51,244 --> 00:17:55,596
All right, would anyone like
to tell me how this happened?
364
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,902
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
365
00:18:01,428 --> 00:18:05,649
All right! All right.
I get the picture.
366
00:18:05,736 --> 00:18:10,132
I cannot believe...
367
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:14,484
Rich, how come your head
smells like tropical fruit?
368
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:19,315
and she used this
really nice mango rinse--
369
00:18:19,402 --> 00:18:23,276
Never mind, never mind,
never mind.
370
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:26,322
You are all responsible,
371
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:29,847
so you will all be
cleaning up this mess,
372
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:33,242
and you will all be cleaning
this salon every night
373
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:37,072
for the next three,
count 'em, three weeks.
374
00:18:37,159 --> 00:18:38,378
Any questions?
375
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:40,684
Yeah.
376
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:43,731
Can we get
to the real issue now?
377
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:49,302
And what, in your mind,
378
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:51,521
is the real issue?
379
00:18:51,608 --> 00:18:54,394
That this whole thing
would have never happened
380
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:57,136
if we had some privacy
and a place to take our dates
381
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:01,140
so we could, you know,
do...things.
382
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,449
Oh.
383
00:19:06,536 --> 00:19:08,886
Oh, I-I-I get it.
384
00:19:08,973 --> 00:19:10,671
So this is really our fault
385
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:13,195
for not giving you
your privacy.
386
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,849
Duh.
387
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:22,639
You know, Frank,
I think I understand.
388
00:19:22,726 --> 00:19:24,641
I mean, after all,
it wasn't so long ago
389
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:25,903
that you and I were teenagers,
390
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,557
and I remember
what it was like
391
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:30,430
to go on a date
and want some privacy.
392
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,519
So I'll tell you what.
393
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:33,955
I'll tell you what.
394
00:19:34,042 --> 00:19:36,697
Frank and I
will rent an apartment
395
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,481
that you can all share.
396
00:19:38,568 --> 00:19:40,091
You can being your
girlfriends and boyfriends
397
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,832
and do whatever you want,
398
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:45,401
and Frank and I just won't
have to know about it.
399
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,968
Really?
400
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,188
No!
401
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:50,754
Are you crazy?
402
00:19:50,841 --> 00:19:52,365
You want privacy?
403
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,932
Grow up,
get a job, move out.
404
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,283
Now clean up this salon!
405
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:05,073
Nice going, bone head.
406
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,466
-Hey, come on.
-Stupid.
407
00:20:06,553 --> 00:20:08,207
No, no, you guys,
all right, look.
408
00:20:08,294 --> 00:20:10,905
I'm the oldest.
I should have known better.
409
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:14,387
You guys go,
and Rich an I'll
clean it up.
410
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:17,607
Really?
411
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,305
Yeah, buddy,
don't worry about it.
412
00:20:20,828 --> 00:20:22,743
We'll take care of it.
413
00:20:26,181 --> 00:20:28,227
What a guy, man.
What a guy.
414
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:36,757
They're so stupid!
415
00:20:55,645 --> 00:20:57,734
Hey, Brendan.
Have you seen Lilly?
416
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,911
Yeah, she's in the girl's room
with some boy playing doctor.
417
00:21:06,656 --> 00:21:09,398
Lilly, open the door.
418
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,705
LILYY:
No, we're playing doctor.
419
00:21:11,792 --> 00:21:14,925
It'll ruin the game.
420
00:21:15,012 --> 00:21:16,623
Lilly, I'm going
to count to three,
421
00:21:16,710 --> 00:21:18,189
and then I'm gonna
open the door.
422
00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,932
One, two, three.
423
00:21:22,019 --> 00:21:25,849
E, O, Z.
424
00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:31,768
Oh. You're playing
eye doctor.
425
00:21:31,855 --> 00:21:37,078
Yeah, Mommy.
What did you think?
426
00:21:37,165 --> 00:21:41,517
Well, Mommy's just been under
a lot of stress lately.
30526
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