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1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,003
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:05,570
98...
3
00:00:06,484 --> 00:00:08,095
99...
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,271
100.
5
00:00:10,358 --> 00:00:12,708
-Okay. Thank you, Mark.
-Any time, Frank.
6
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,973
-Hi, Daddy.
-Hi, honey.
7
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,627
You're the best daddy
in the world.
8
00:00:18,714 --> 00:00:19,802
And I love you.
9
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,064
Will you take me
to the park?
10
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,807
Well, of course I will,
sweetheart.
11
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:28,898
Good, because Al said I get
a dollar if I get rid of you.
12
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:31,466
You weren't supposed
to say that part.
[LAUGHS]
13
00:00:31,553 --> 00:00:33,468
I'm five. Sue me.
14
00:00:35,252 --> 00:00:37,211
Kids. You gotta
love 'em. Bye bye.
15
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:40,040
Yeah, ho, ho.
Freeze a minute here,
beautiful.
16
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:45,001
Why are you trying so hard
to get rid of me?
17
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:48,831
-Well, see I have this thing.
-No, wait a minute.
Let me guess.
18
00:00:48,918 --> 00:00:50,789
You have a date coming over,
don't you?
19
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:54,271
[SIGHS]
That's right,
and, you know, Dad,
20
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:58,449
I am really tired of you
always giving them
a hard time.
21
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:01,235
When have I ever given
your dates a hard time?
22
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:02,888
Jason came over to pick me up,
23
00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:06,414
and you pushed him against
the wall and frisked him.
24
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:10,244
Well, he was wearing a jacket
with a gang logo on it.
25
00:01:10,331 --> 00:01:13,247
It said "Polo."
26
00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:16,815
Frank, you're exhibiting
classic paternal behavior.
27
00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:18,730
Your daughter's
becoming a woman,
28
00:01:18,817 --> 00:01:21,081
and you're frightened
by her budding sexuality.
29
00:01:24,649 --> 00:01:27,087
There ain't nothin' buddin'
around here, pal.
30
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,742
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
-Oh, God.
31
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,135
That's Dillon. Dad...
32
00:01:32,222 --> 00:01:33,571
Dad, can you
please try to keep
33
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,878
an open mind and be nice?
34
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:38,750
I am always nice
to your dates.
35
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:41,362
-Hello, sir...
-She's not home.
36
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:44,278
He's no good.
37
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,470
Okay.
38
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,256
Hah! I got the stereo
all set up, Mom.
39
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,910
[SIGHS]
This is so exciting.
40
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:09,738
I can't believe
in less than 18 hours,
41
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:11,914
the salon will be open.
42
00:02:12,001 --> 00:02:14,046
[MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO]
43
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,397
[FRENCH ACCENT]
'Allo, 'allo, Karen.
44
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,661
Are you playing
songs of tranquility again?
45
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,533
No, we don't
like that Karen.
46
00:02:22,620 --> 00:02:26,407
You see, Karen,
this is very nice music.
47
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:30,106
Really, it's okay
if you want to, you know...
48
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:34,066
[AMERICAN ACCENT] Mellow
out with a fruit smoothie
and have a bitchin' summer.
49
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,590
[FRENCH ACCENT]
But...
50
00:02:35,677 --> 00:02:37,592
It's not so good, you know,
in the salon,
51
00:02:37,679 --> 00:02:40,769
because, uh, we do not want
to put the customer to sleep.
52
00:02:40,856 --> 00:02:42,597
When a woman come to Jean-Luc,
53
00:02:42,684 --> 00:02:44,729
you know what she is
really looking for?
54
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:46,949
A haircut?
55
00:02:49,604 --> 00:02:50,605
No.
56
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:55,218
She's looking, uh,
Karen, for the total,
57
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:58,047
over-powering,
sensuous experience
58
00:02:58,134 --> 00:03:00,876
that starts at the top
of her head and shivers
59
00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:04,793
and vibrates all the way down
to the balls of her foot.
60
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,230
Okay, look. I show you.
61
00:03:07,317 --> 00:03:09,276
[MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO]
62
00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:11,843
This better.
63
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,454
This the kind of music.
64
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,325
The pulsating beat that
I want a woman to hear
65
00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:16,979
when they come in
to the salon.
66
00:03:17,066 --> 00:03:19,329
Because, you know it
puts them in the right mood.
67
00:03:19,416 --> 00:03:21,026
Then I come up to her,
and I say,
68
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:22,898
"I love beautiful woman.
69
00:03:22,985 --> 00:03:24,465
"Welcome to
Let Your Hair Down.
70
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:27,468
Let's really
let you hair down."
71
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:31,602
Walk this way.
72
00:03:31,689 --> 00:03:33,474
And then you
push them together
73
00:03:33,561 --> 00:03:35,737
onto the hair styling station.
74
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:38,870
And I turn to her
and I say, "I am Jean-Luc.
75
00:03:38,957 --> 00:03:42,222
I will make all of
your grooming fantasies
come true."
76
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:53,145
Eagle has landed
at base-camp one.
77
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,844
-Afternoon, ma'am.
-Uh, good afternoon,
but actually, sir, uh,
78
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,846
we're really not open,
officially, until tomorrow.
79
00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,456
I know that ma'am.
80
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,154
Name is T. Edwin Jarvis.
I'm from the White House.
81
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,680
The one in Washington D.C.,
where the President lives?
82
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:07,986
Check.
President and Mrs. Clinton
83
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:10,032
will be in town
on a political visit tomorrow.
84
00:04:10,119 --> 00:04:12,600
Let's see some I.D.
85
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:15,429
Mrs. Clinton has always
admired Jean-Luc's work.
86
00:04:15,516 --> 00:04:18,562
She's particularly impressed
by the way he handled
Princess Di, Madonna,
87
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:22,000
and that
"Hey, Vern" guy.
88
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:25,526
Oh, Jean-Luc is one of
the greatest hairdressers
in the world.
89
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:28,093
That's why Mrs. Clinton
wants him to do her hair.
90
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,052
Really?
[GASPS]
91
00:04:30,139 --> 00:04:32,315
That's fantastic.
92
00:04:32,402 --> 00:04:33,969
Mrs. Clinton says
she wants to look like
93
00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,840
that cute little Rachel
on Friends.
94
00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,495
Really?
95
00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,628
I mean, yeah, yeah,
we could do that.
96
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:42,717
And how about Bill?
97
00:04:42,804 --> 00:04:44,762
Would Bill like
to have his hair cut,
98
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,503
because I could make him
look like George Clooney.
99
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,766
No, ma'am.
100
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:50,333
The President will be
showing his support
101
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,248
for small business next door,
at Bucket O' Beef.
102
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,384
Woah. That should really
boost their receipts.
103
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,211
-[LAUGHS]
-Check.
104
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,128
Hillary Clinton!
105
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,961
Bye, Daddy.
We're going to the park.
106
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,485
Oh, no, you're not.
107
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:13,313
Not without a jacket.
Get back here.
108
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,097
You know better
than that.
109
00:05:15,184 --> 00:05:16,316
Here we go.
110
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:19,362
Here. There.
111
00:05:19,449 --> 00:05:21,538
This will keep ya
nice and warm.
112
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,801
How about you, Al?
I haven't seen you all day.
113
00:05:23,888 --> 00:05:25,107
Is everything all right?
114
00:05:25,194 --> 00:05:27,414
-Tell him.
-Al's not talking to you.
115
00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,372
She says you're a poopy-head.
116
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:36,074
Al, I'm sorry if
I'm scaring off your dates.
117
00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:37,641
But I'm your father.
118
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,469
And if somebody's not good
enough for you,
119
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,080
then I'm gonna do what I think
is necessary to protect you.
120
00:05:42,167 --> 00:05:43,995
Dad, nobody's good
enough for you.
121
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,520
I'm gonna be living
here until I'm 45.
122
00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:49,653
Well, if that's how long
it takes us to find
someone we like,
123
00:05:49,740 --> 00:05:50,828
then we'll wait.
124
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:54,745
Tell him.
125
00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:56,878
-Poopy-head.
-Let's go.
126
00:05:59,924 --> 00:06:01,273
[DOORBELL RINGS]
127
00:06:04,276 --> 00:06:06,148
She says
I don't like any guys.
128
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,672
I like Troy Aikman.
I like Garth Brooks.
129
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,196
Why doesn't she bring
one of them home, hmm?
130
00:06:11,283 --> 00:06:12,372
-Mr. Lambert?
-Yeah, that's me.
131
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,199
I'm Pete,
from Builder's Mart.
132
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,549
They sent me over with those
tile samples you called about.
133
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:17,072
Oh, yeah.
Here, come on in.
134
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:18,987
I'll take a look at 'em,
you can take 'em back.
135
00:06:19,074 --> 00:06:21,381
Sir, are you the Frank Lambert
of Lambert Construction?
136
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,121
Yeah, that's me.
137
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:25,254
I am a huge fan
of your work.
138
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:28,170
That remodel that you did
on the old Endicott building
was awesome.
139
00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,998
Oh, thank you.
140
00:06:30,085 --> 00:06:31,869
Yeah, and-and that warehouse
that you built downtown...
141
00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,567
That is poetry
in cinder block.
142
00:06:36,657 --> 00:06:39,181
You really think so?
143
00:06:39,268 --> 00:06:42,402
Absolutely.
Your work is genius.
144
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:46,362
I hope that, someday,
I can become a contractor
just like you.
145
00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,190
Well, you keep your lumber dry
and your hammer high,
146
00:06:48,277 --> 00:06:49,583
you might just make it.
147
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:54,501
Sir, you are the wisest man
I have ever met.
148
00:06:57,504 --> 00:07:00,028
Gee, uh,
how old are you, Pete?
149
00:07:00,115 --> 00:07:01,246
It is Pete, isn't it?
150
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:03,379
Oh, yes, sir.
I'm 16.
151
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,859
-Sixteen?
-Yeah.
152
00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,513
Oh, that's good.
153
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,558
Sit down,
sit down, Pete.
154
00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:11,953
Tell me, you, uh,
you have a girlfriend?
155
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,172
Well, sir, I don't have
much time for that.
156
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:17,219
Well, with school and my job
and volunteering
at the church.
157
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:23,878
Hey, Pete, how'd you like
to go out on a date?
158
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,057
Where are you going
with this, sir?
159
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,409
Oh, no, not...
uh... I was, uh...
160
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,802
I was just talking
about my daughter.
161
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:36,630
Would you like to
take my daughter out?
162
00:07:36,717 --> 00:07:39,197
-Go out with your daughter?
-Yeah.
163
00:07:39,284 --> 00:07:41,330
Sir, I'd be honored.
164
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,593
Well, great.
165
00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:45,987
You wanna see
a picture of her?
166
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,772
Not necessary. I mean,
if she's your daughter,
I'm sure she's "up to code."
167
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,339
[BOTH LAUGHING]
168
00:07:59,957 --> 00:08:01,568
[LAUGHS]
This is so cool.
169
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:04,222
I'm actually going to meet
Hillary Clinton.
170
00:08:04,309 --> 00:08:06,398
Oh, big-whoop.
171
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:09,358
Man, I could be at
the entertainment event
of the century tonight.
172
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:11,055
Beavis and Butt-Head on Ice.
173
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,407
Rich.
174
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,106
Hillary Clinton has
revolutionized the role
175
00:08:18,193 --> 00:08:20,500
-of the First Lady
in this country.
-Oh, big deal.
176
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,981
Beavis is supposed to
skate in, drop his pants,
moon the audience,
177
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,244
and Butt-Head goes,
"Huh, huh, huh. That's cool."
178
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,988
Why am I dating you?
179
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:32,250
[SCOFFS]
180
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,301
[GASPS]
Oh, yeah.
181
00:08:44,741 --> 00:08:45,786
[GROANS]
182
00:08:47,744 --> 00:08:49,616
Pictures.
No more pictures, okay?
183
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,008
Okay. Maybe one more.
184
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:53,054
From my good side.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
185
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,577
All right, already!
186
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,799
You know, I'm, I'm the only
touch of glamour
187
00:08:58,886 --> 00:09:00,931
in their drab,
little lives.
188
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:02,759
They are not here
for you, Jean-Luc.
189
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,544
-Didn't you get my message?
-I got your message.
190
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:06,415
I don't know why
you're so excited.
191
00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:09,810
You told me the first lady
is coming at noon.
192
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,507
I know the first lady
is coming at noon.
193
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,030
This is Mrs. Radney's.
194
00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,771
She's coming
for her pedicure.
195
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:17,034
Don't forget
to charge her extra,
she has 12 toes.
196
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:19,210
No, no no.
197
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:21,386
Not the first
lady customer.
198
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:22,823
The First Lady.
199
00:09:22,910 --> 00:09:25,173
The First Lady of
the United States.
200
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,828
Hillary Clinton is coming
here in 20 minutes,
201
00:09:27,915 --> 00:09:31,527
and she wants you to
personally cut her hair.
202
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:32,572
I don't think so.
203
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,357
[SIGHS]
204
00:09:36,097 --> 00:09:37,098
[GROANS]
205
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:41,406
Jean-Luc, I know
this is very sudden
206
00:09:41,493 --> 00:09:43,147
and I know that
she is very famous,
207
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,541
-but you can handle this!
-No, I cannot.
208
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,195
-Yes, you can!
-No, I cannot.
209
00:09:47,282 --> 00:09:48,457
Why not?
210
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,503
Well, you see,
211
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,158
the thing of it is,
okay, um...
212
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,770
Okay, uh...
213
00:09:56,857 --> 00:09:59,207
Um, I do not actually...
214
00:10:02,514 --> 00:10:04,038
Cut the hair.
215
00:10:07,041 --> 00:10:10,087
[SCOFFS]
You don't cut hair?
216
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:11,436
[LAUGHS]
217
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,570
Not actually...
218
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,138
I don't cut the hair.
219
00:10:19,314 --> 00:10:21,098
Well, that's crazy.
220
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,753
Before you were divorced,
you owned salons all over
the world.
221
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:25,799
I know, but I have
hundreds of employee,
222
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,365
and they cut the hair.
223
00:10:27,452 --> 00:10:29,063
Well, what did you do?
224
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:32,196
I create the over-powering,
sensuous experience,
225
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:36,026
that start at the top of
the head and vibrate
all the way down
226
00:10:36,113 --> 00:10:38,028
to the balls of the foot.
227
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:39,508
I do this.
228
00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,033
I do this.
229
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,470
But I cannot remember
the last time I do like that.
230
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,083
Well, you better start
remembering this,
231
00:10:49,170 --> 00:10:51,563
because the First Lady's
gonna be here any minute.
232
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,435
-No! No!
-Yes! Yes!
233
00:10:53,522 --> 00:10:54,523
-No! No!
-Yes!
234
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:56,394
-No!
-Yes!
235
00:10:56,481 --> 00:10:59,136
You know, I don't know...
We have a lot
invested in this,
236
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:03,227
-and you're really starting
to tick me off!
-[GASPS]
237
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:05,360
-What?
-That was so refreshing!
238
00:11:05,447 --> 00:11:07,231
-What?
-Ah, see, look, a Clinton!
239
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,493
-The First Lady of
the United States.
-Oh, no!
240
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,452
-I want to cut her hair!
-Yes!
241
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,671
-I want to cut her hair!
I want to cut her hair!
-Yes! Yes!
242
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:12,933
Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
243
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,674
Eh, not!
244
00:11:16,066 --> 00:11:17,938
No! Jean-Luc!
245
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,767
[YELLS]
246
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:26,294
Hey, Al?
247
00:11:26,381 --> 00:11:28,426
Al, come on downstairs
for a minute, honey.
248
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:32,866
-What?
-Well, uh, Al,
I've been thinking.
249
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:36,347
And, uh,
I owe you an apology.
250
00:11:36,434 --> 00:11:39,611
I've been way too picky
about the guys
you go out with and...
251
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,744
Well, I know that you're
a responsible young woman.
252
00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,486
You should be able to pick
your dates without me
hassling you.
253
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,882
-Thank you, Dad.
-Hey. [LAUGHS]
254
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:55,323
And to make up for the way
that I've been acting,
255
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,628
I set you up on a date.
256
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:01,895
-A what?
-A date.
257
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,461
-When?
-[DOORBELL RINGS]
258
00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:04,593
-Now.
-Now?
259
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,943
Now! Now!
This is so great.
260
00:12:07,030 --> 00:12:08,510
This guy is just
perfect for you.
261
00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:09,946
You're gonna spend
the whole day together.
262
00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:11,208
He's perfect.
263
00:12:11,295 --> 00:12:12,732
-Hi, Pete.
-Hey, Mr. Lambert.
264
00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:17,867
Al, this is Pete.
265
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,566
What, you two
go shopping together?
266
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:24,221
Yeah, we did.
267
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,007
Yeah, Sears had
a big flannel sale.
268
00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:29,487
We got six pairs
of matching shirts.
269
00:12:29,574 --> 00:12:31,663
We're set for winter.
270
00:12:31,751 --> 00:12:33,187
How about that
all new tool department?
271
00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:35,319
Oh, yeah, Al,
the '97s are in.
272
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:37,452
Tell her about that
Powermaster chainsaw.
273
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:39,149
24 inch sprocket nose.
274
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,673
Adjustable automatic
gear-driven chrome cylinder.
275
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,501
Turbo with anti-kickback
chain break.
276
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,242
That thing'll cut
through a Buick!
277
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,288
-It's better than sex!
-[BOTH LAUGH]
278
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,509
Maybe I should just
leave you two alone.
279
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:53,555
Oh, no, no, no, no.
280
00:12:53,642 --> 00:12:55,600
Don't run upstairs.
Don't be shy.
281
00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,515
I mean, come on,
I want you two
to go out there
282
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:58,821
and have a good time.
283
00:12:58,908 --> 00:12:59,996
-Dad...
-No, no, no, listen.
284
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,693
You don't have
to say thank you.
285
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,305
-No problem there.
-No.
286
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:06,220
Come on now,
you two just run along.
287
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:07,395
Have a good time.
288
00:13:07,482 --> 00:13:09,179
Oh, one thing...
289
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,528
Don't elope
on the first date.
290
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,667
I am so good,
I scare myself.
291
00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:25,848
Jean-Luc,
will you open that door?
292
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:29,983
JEAN-LUC: Never!
This door is impenetrable!
It is like a solid steel!
293
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:32,681
You could not get me
out of here with the dynamite!
294
00:13:37,991 --> 00:13:39,557
Jean-Luc!
295
00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:42,212
Hillary Clinton is going to
be here any minute.
296
00:13:42,299 --> 00:13:44,475
If you don't get out there,
I'm going to drag you
out there myself.
297
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:46,260
Take your best shot, blondie.
298
00:13:46,347 --> 00:13:49,524
-Come on, baby. Oh, yeah.
-I can. I am very str...
299
00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:51,743
Wait, I'm scared now.
300
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,791
-I am really petrified now.
-Get out there.
301
00:13:55,878 --> 00:13:57,749
-Oh, yeah? I got some muscle.
-Yeah.
302
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,274
-Ah!
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
303
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:03,886
You know,
maybe you should think
about getting a butt-master.
304
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,893
Okay, that's it.
Just forget it.
You are impossible.
305
00:14:10,980 --> 00:14:12,416
We have been
busting our backs
306
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:15,419
trying to get this salon
together for two months.
307
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:17,291
And for some
stupid reason,
308
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:19,293
that you won't even
talk about,
309
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,469
you're gonna
throw it all away.
310
00:14:21,556 --> 00:14:24,385
-Some friend you are.
-I am your friend.
311
00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,387
You... You know that.
312
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,606
Well, then, will you please,
313
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:31,435
please tell me
why are you doing this?
314
00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:34,221
I don't know.
315
00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:40,009
I guess I think
that I would, uh...
316
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,837
I would do a bad job.
317
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,100
Bad job... Why?
318
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,495
Look, I know that
a lot of people think
319
00:14:47,582 --> 00:14:49,410
that I am some
kind of maybe genius,
320
00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,064
but what if I'm not?
321
00:14:51,151 --> 00:14:53,022
What if I'm just, uh,
322
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:56,547
ravishing-looking
but empty-headed
continental "'unk?"
323
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:00,421
'Unk?
324
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:02,902
Not "unk", "'unk!"
325
00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:08,733
Oh, "hunk."
326
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:11,084
[SIGHS]
That's not true.
327
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:13,825
You started an entire
hair care empire!
328
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,698
No, correction.
My wife started
a hair care empire.
329
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:18,918
I'm just the one to come
to the door and say,
330
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,921
"'Allo, I'm Jean-Luc.
Why don't you pulsate with me
right over here."
331
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:26,055
Oh.
332
00:15:27,752 --> 00:15:30,059
[SIGHS]
I get it.
333
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:33,889
[SIGHS]
I understand now.
334
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,457
You are afraid.
335
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,372
You are afraid to cut hair,
aren't you?
336
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:41,810
[SIGHS]
Jean-Luc...
337
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:46,162
You know, Jean-Luc,
338
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:48,599
when people get a divorce,
sometimes they say things
339
00:15:48,686 --> 00:15:52,038
that just aren't true.
340
00:15:52,125 --> 00:15:53,604
You know, when I split
from my first husband,
341
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:57,217
he said that I was stupid.
342
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,349
And that I wouldn't be
anything without him.
343
00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,484
-[SIGHS]
-He said you were stupid?
344
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:08,532
Yeah. And I believed him
because I was feeling
so bad about myself.
345
00:16:08,619 --> 00:16:11,535
So, I spent years
in a dead-end job,
346
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:13,233
in a terrible salon.
347
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:17,150
All because I thought
I was too stupid
348
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,978
to start my own business.
349
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:23,112
You're not stupid.
350
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,200
I know.
351
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:28,248
You are not
a no-talent fraud.
352
00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:35,864
Well, maybe you're right.
[SNIFFLES]
353
00:16:35,951 --> 00:16:38,562
I was the valedictorian of
our beauty school class,
354
00:16:38,649 --> 00:16:41,174
and I was the one
355
00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:43,611
who convinced Madonna
to shave her armpits.
356
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,355
I don't know,
maybe...
357
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,096
Maybe I can do anything.
358
00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:53,577
Of course you can.
359
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:56,232
All you need is a little
music to get you into
the spirit of things.
360
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,060
-No.
-Yeah. Karen, music?
361
00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,281
[MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO]
362
00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:11,378
This is working for me.
363
00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:14,207
Of course it is.
364
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:16,078
[FRENCH ACCENT]
Because you are
here to fulfill
365
00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:19,212
every woman's
hair care fantasies.
366
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:23,955
I can do that.
367
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,569
Everybody stand back.
368
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:33,182
I am going to style her
until she purrs like a kitten.
369
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:36,620
Hillary, my darling.
You look... [kisses]
370
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,014
Fabulous.
371
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,105
Elizabeth Dole,
eat your heart out.
372
00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:53,985
[MOANS]
373
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:00,296
I like the feel of that.
374
00:18:02,124 --> 00:18:04,387
I wonder if we really need
that tree in the front yard.
375
00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:09,000
Then once you've laid out
the basic electrical,
376
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,002
you wanna rough in
your plumbing.
377
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,527
This is where that
generous crawl space
is really gonna pay off.
378
00:18:13,614 --> 00:18:16,921
-So, how was your date?
-Just great, sir.
379
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,881
[LAUGHS]
I knew you two love birds
would hit it off.
380
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:22,405
-Can I talk to you
in the kitchen, Dad?
-Sure.
381
00:18:22,492 --> 00:18:24,755
Hey, check out that
new Powermaster chainsaw.
382
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,192
It's a beast.
383
00:18:28,150 --> 00:18:30,109
Oh, Al,
isn't Pete a great guy?
384
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:34,113
You know, he actually owns
a hammer autographed
by Bob Villa?
385
00:18:36,637 --> 00:18:38,160
-Dad?
-Huh?
386
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:40,771
This was the most boring day
of my entire life.
387
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:43,600
Why?
388
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,994
It was like going out
on a date with...
389
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:48,257
You!
390
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,087
What's wrong with that?
391
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,046
Listen, Dad, um...
392
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:59,050
I know you're just trying
to look out for me, but...
393
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,618
You cannot be
my dating service.
394
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:04,143
I kinda need to
pick my own guys.
395
00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:06,928
Okay. You're right.
396
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:10,061
It's your life,
and you should
pick your own dates
397
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:12,281
without me
getting in the way.
398
00:19:13,761 --> 00:19:15,241
Thank you.
399
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,025
Don't you like Pete
just a little?
400
00:19:17,112 --> 00:19:19,593
He's a nice guy,
but, Dad...
401
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,117
He's not for me.
402
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:24,685
I hate to see you dump him.
403
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,168
-Well, I'm not.
-You're not?
404
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:31,257
No.
405
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:33,172
He's your boyfriend,
you dump him.
406
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,089
Oh.
407
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,144
Hey, uh, Pete.
408
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:52,887
-We, uh, we've gotta talk.
-Oh?
409
00:19:52,974 --> 00:19:56,064
Yeah, you are a super guy,
but, uh,
410
00:19:56,151 --> 00:19:59,633
this thing with Al,
it's just not working out.
411
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,025
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
412
00:20:01,112 --> 00:20:02,723
I thought we had
a great time.
413
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:05,291
I mean, we went to the base
and tub and tile show.
414
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:07,075
-[GROANS]
-Can't believe
she didn't like that.
415
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:08,816
Women.
416
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,427
Go figure.
417
00:20:14,778 --> 00:20:16,084
[BOTH SIGH]
418
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,738
So I, uh...
419
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:19,783
I guess this is good-bye.
420
00:20:19,870 --> 00:20:23,091
Yeah, I mean,
if we can't make
this dating thing work,
421
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,224
I hope we can
still be friends.
422
00:20:30,359 --> 00:20:34,407
I'm sure there's a perfectly
reasonable explanation
for this.
423
00:20:36,147 --> 00:20:38,367
It's just not as funny
as the one I'm thinking of.
424
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,028
Turbo.
425
00:20:54,122 --> 00:20:56,167
-Psst, Dad.
-Hey, kiddo.
426
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,300
-How was your date
with that new guy, huh?
-Uh, the worst.
427
00:20:58,387 --> 00:21:00,868
He's sitting out there
on the couch
and he won't leave.
428
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:02,261
You've gotta help me
get rid of this jerk.
429
00:21:02,348 --> 00:21:04,611
Oh, no.
430
00:21:04,698 --> 00:21:07,788
Listen, I promised you
I'm going to stay out of
your love life and I meant it.
431
00:21:07,875 --> 00:21:10,530
I'm begging you.
Please, Daddy.
432
00:21:12,619 --> 00:21:14,621
Daddy?
433
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:17,406
Oh, well, then, of course
I'll help you, honey.
434
00:21:17,493 --> 00:21:19,756
You just go on in
and leave the rest to me.
435
00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:22,803
Okay, now, be brave.
436
00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:25,936
Man, I have got to get
some new shoes.
437
00:21:26,023 --> 00:21:29,505
[SCOFFS]
These things are like
totally nasty.
438
00:21:31,551 --> 00:21:33,596
You might wanna
put those back on.
439
00:21:33,683 --> 00:21:36,295
-Why?
-Hi. I'm Al's dad.
440
00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:38,035
-I like to cut things.
-[CHAINSAW BUZZING]
441
00:21:43,737 --> 00:21:44,955
Thanks, Dad.
442
00:21:45,956 --> 00:21:47,741
I love this saw.
32180
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