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1
00:00:05,788 --> 00:00:07,224
Hey, Barky.
2
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,792
How you doing, huh?
You feeling okay?
3
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:12,142
Ooh! Your nose is cold.
That's a good sign.
4
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,404
Hey, check it out.
5
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,276
I just met
the perfect guy for you.
6
00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:17,800
His name is Rex.
He's a Rottweiler.
7
00:00:17,887 --> 00:00:21,369
Yeah, he fetches, he rolls over,
he's completely housebroken.
8
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:23,936
-More than I can say for you.
-Ooh!
9
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,027
Nice shot, Barky.
I love woofing around with you.
10
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:31,292
I gotta get
something to eat.
11
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,469
-Why not?
-'Cause Mom and Frank
are still playing Monopoly
12
00:00:34,556 --> 00:00:36,645
with her new business partner.
13
00:00:36,732 --> 00:00:39,169
You mean the crazy
French hairdresser guy?
14
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,215
Dad must be going
out of his mind.
15
00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:43,652
And now, François,
it is your turn.
16
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:46,002
But before
you roll the dice,
17
00:00:46,089 --> 00:00:47,656
you must ask yourself
this question,
18
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:49,223
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
19
00:00:49,310 --> 00:00:50,746
Or as you might say,
20
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,617
[AMERICAN ACCENT]
"Ah, geez, do I feel lucky?"
21
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:56,186
[FRENCH ACCENT]
Because I,
Jean-Luc Rieupeyroux,
22
00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:59,363
happen to own every hotel
on the board.
23
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:03,802
And this roll, my friend,
could be your last.
24
00:01:03,889 --> 00:01:05,500
Well, I'll tell you what,
Jean-Luc,
25
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,068
we have played Monopoly
every night this week,
26
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,287
so if this
isn't my last roll,
27
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,550
I'm gonna shoot myself
in the head with this
little cannon.
28
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,859
[LAUGHS]
29
00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:18,643
A five.
30
00:01:18,730 --> 00:01:20,906
[COUNTS IN FRENCH]
31
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,604
You land on Boardwalk,
32
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,780
and with this cinq,
you are sunk.
33
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:27,870
I am the winner.
Give me all of your money.
34
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,654
And you, too,
Pippi Longstocking.
35
00:01:29,741 --> 00:01:31,743
I will shower
in your money.
36
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:34,094
-I'm the winner!
-Yes, you are.
37
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:35,704
You are the winner,
Jean-Luc.
38
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:37,836
And that makes Carol and I
just a couple of losers,
39
00:01:37,923 --> 00:01:39,751
and I don't blame ya
for wanting to get rid of us.
40
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,102
No, I don't want to.
I want to come back and play.
41
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:44,365
No, no, Jean-Luc, game's over.
Gotta wrap it up for the night.
42
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,193
-[CHATTER CONTINUES]
-So what's going on in there?
43
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,804
I think Dad's about
to go postal on him.
44
00:01:48,891 --> 00:01:50,762
[MUTTERING]
45
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,982
Maybe just a little bit--
46
00:01:58,553 --> 00:02:01,033
I've had jock itch
that was easier to
get rid of than him.
47
00:02:07,039 --> 00:02:09,520
Yes, yes, I found it.
The last ice cream sandwich.
48
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,696
That's Daddy's ice cream, J.T.
49
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:14,917
If you eat it,
he'll be mad.
50
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:17,049
Not if he doesn't find out.
51
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,183
And Lilly wouldn't tell on
her best big brother now,
would she?
52
00:02:20,270 --> 00:02:22,011
That depends.
53
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:24,709
All right, here's a buck.
54
00:02:26,102 --> 00:02:27,408
Thanks, sucker.
55
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,373
All right, people,
gonna need this kitchen
56
00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:38,506
-and I want some privacy.
-What for, Barky?
57
00:02:38,593 --> 00:02:40,334
We've seen you take
a flea bath before.
58
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,643
I have signed up to be
a college tutor,
59
00:02:45,730 --> 00:02:47,689
and my first student
is coming here this afternoon.
60
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,647
Oh, great.
Just what we need.
61
00:02:49,734 --> 00:02:51,301
Another dimwit.
62
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:54,261
Not everybody who needs
a tutor is a dimwit.
63
00:02:54,348 --> 00:02:56,480
Even Einstein
had trouble in school.
64
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,701
Ha-ha.
You never know, I could be
tutoring the next Einstein.
65
00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,357
Hi, I'm here to be tutored.
66
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:07,317
Hey,
I like your new student.
Nice shades, bro.
67
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:09,145
Let's see 'em.
68
00:03:09,232 --> 00:03:10,668
-Boing, boing,
boing, boing, boing.
-Oh, hey.
69
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:12,366
-Whoo!
-Boing!
70
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:17,719
Uh, Dana, you know
that whole Einstein thing?
71
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:19,590
Nope, I'm not seeing it.
72
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,596
I cannot believe
I am stuck with you.
73
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:27,468
Isn't she cute?
74
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,818
All right, look, Dane.
75
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,863
We'll make this as painless
as possible, okay?
76
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,648
Why don't you write me
a paper on Shakespeare,
77
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:36,303
make it about a B-minus,
around there,
78
00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:39,871
and I'll be outside
shooting hoops?
79
00:03:39,958 --> 00:03:41,873
Look, you diluted
little Smurf.
80
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,443
This is not Homework-R-Us.
81
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,315
Now sit down
and get writing.
82
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:53,363
Ooh, Dana.
83
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,322
I love it
when you're rough with me.
84
00:03:57,498 --> 00:04:00,631
This mean if I get a bad grade
you'll spank me?
85
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:07,769
I'd rather chew off
my own foot.
86
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:10,902
So, Dana's gonna be
your new tutor, huh?
87
00:04:14,950 --> 00:04:16,343
Good luck.
88
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:28,616
Frank, this is so romantic.
89
00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:31,314
I'm so glad we decided
to get away for the weekend.
90
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:33,360
Oh, me, too,
and it's just the two of us.
91
00:04:33,447 --> 00:04:36,406
No Jean-Luc.
92
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:40,454
And other than
this very expensive
bottle of champagne
93
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:41,977
that I bought for us,
94
00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:45,241
there ain't a French thing
within 100 miles.
95
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:48,549
So...
96
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:51,595
here's to our
romantic weekend...
97
00:04:51,682 --> 00:04:54,381
-alone.
-Mm.
98
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:59,168
Happy to see you.
Bonjour.
99
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:01,518
Jean-Luc,
what are you doing here?
100
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,998
Well, it's an emergency.
101
00:05:03,085 --> 00:05:05,174
When I heard that
you were coming to a spa,
102
00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,916
I thought to myself,
"Ooh, la, la, the chlorine
in the hot tub
103
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:11,354
is going to strip their hair
of five essential 'emuliants.'"
104
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:14,357
That's why I develop
105
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,273
Jean-Luc's Emergency
Hair Care 9-1-1,
106
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,538
when beauty is a matter
of life and death.
107
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,714
I brought some today
to share with my friends.
108
00:05:23,801 --> 00:05:25,194
It's very easy to use.
109
00:05:25,281 --> 00:05:27,283
You just put it on
the trouble spots,
110
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:29,764
let it seep into
the follicle,
111
00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:32,244
wait, and then rinse.
112
00:05:34,508 --> 00:05:36,248
Also, for you, François,
113
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,076
I brought
Monsieur Gray-away.
114
00:05:38,163 --> 00:05:39,469
How you use it,
115
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,471
you put it liberally
on the head,
116
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:44,822
and you just run it
through with your fingers,
117
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,998
you can spike it
a little if you want,
118
00:05:47,085 --> 00:05:50,045
and then just get on
with your active lifestyle.
119
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,308
I don't have
an active lifestyle.
120
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:54,266
I've got you.
121
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:57,269
Ooh, la, la, is that champagne?
I love champagne.
122
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,402
Even cheap champagne
like this one.
123
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:01,012
Don't go away.
124
00:06:01,099 --> 00:06:02,884
I'm going to go swimming
for a glass.
125
00:06:04,407 --> 00:06:06,191
[SIGHS]
126
00:06:06,278 --> 00:06:08,063
Honey, you think anybody
would notice if I drowned him?
127
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,760
I mean, it's not like
he's an American.
128
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,632
Oh, I know, I know
we've gotta talk to him,
129
00:06:11,719 --> 00:06:13,460
but let me handle it, okay?
130
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,244
Because he's just going
through this nasty divorce,
131
00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,638
and he's real
vulnerable right now.
132
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,117
And voila.
133
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:21,729
Oh, mes amis,
134
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:24,035
I am so super pumped
about the weekend together.
135
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,603
We can get a scrub
with the salt.
136
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,867
We can get a wrap
with the seaweed.
137
00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:32,914
And to top it off, we can all
get the deep tissue massage.
138
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,699
Sort of a massage à trois.
139
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:39,224
Funny, funny things...
140
00:06:44,186 --> 00:06:45,622
-Jean-Luc.
-Mm-hmm.
141
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:49,583
You-you see,
the thing is...
142
00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,802
I mean, what I am
trying to say to you is...
143
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,978
Buzz off.
144
00:06:54,065 --> 00:06:57,547
-Buzz off?
-What Frank means is...
145
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:01,638
Jean-Luc, Frank and I
need some privacy.
146
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:03,684
I hope you understand.
147
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,686
Oh, I understand.
148
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:07,296
I am not hurt.
149
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,517
I am not stabbed
through the heart.
150
00:07:10,604 --> 00:07:13,345
No, people who have
someone that loves them
151
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,782
and-and cares about them,
152
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,087
they need--
they need time alone.
153
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:18,089
So, au revoir, mes amis.
154
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:20,831
I'm out of here
like poo-poo through a goose.
155
00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,362
All right, time's up.
156
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,755
Hand it over.
157
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,761
"Nachos rule"?
158
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,592
Well, we have been
working a long time
159
00:07:42,679 --> 00:07:44,159
and I am kinda hungry.
160
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,340
if you weren't undressing me
with your eyes all the time.
161
00:07:51,427 --> 00:07:53,124
Hmm?
162
00:07:53,211 --> 00:07:55,083
Oh! You wish!
163
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,911
Yeah.
164
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,782
I have better things
to do with my time
165
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:01,132
than to fantasize about
"Frosty the Ice Queen."
166
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:10,054
You're nothing but a drooling,
illiterate imbecile.
167
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:11,491
Hey, it's better than being
168
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,405
a stuck-up, man-hating
know-it-all.
169
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,407
Oh, yeah?
170
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,802
Here's an idea.
171
00:08:18,889 --> 00:08:21,413
and hop a train back
to Munchkinland?
172
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,024
[SCOFFS]
173
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:30,597
Oh, yeah?
Well, I got a better idea.
174
00:08:30,684 --> 00:08:33,556
Oh, yeah, that's pretty good
for somebody who has the IQ
of a potato.
175
00:08:33,643 --> 00:08:35,210
Better than having
the sex appeal of a potato.
176
00:08:35,297 --> 00:08:37,342
-You make me sick.
-You make me sicker.
177
00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,257
-I hate you.
-Are you as hot as I am?
178
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,781
Hotter.
179
00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:52,053
[GRUNTS]
180
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,925
Oh, my God,
I lost my mind.
181
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:58,102
Me, too.
It was, uh, a big mistake.
182
00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,365
So, you wanna go out?
183
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,978
Get real, okay?
184
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:07,590
We had one little moment
of demented passion.
185
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:10,637
That doesn't mean
that I'm gonna go out
on an actual date with you.
186
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,465
Why not?
187
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,077
Because you are
a mentally challenged,
188
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,601
uncultured fool.
189
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:21,691
Well, you're not exactly
my dream babe either, right?
190
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:24,476
I mean, you never smile,
you think all men are scum.
191
00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,088
It's like you're some sort
of feminist Nazi.
192
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:31,571
-Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
193
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,877
You ever have a Nazi
kiss you like this?
194
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:46,803
I'll, uh, take that
as a yes for our date.
195
00:09:48,239 --> 00:09:49,676
All right.
196
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:52,853
But no one
must know about this.
197
00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:56,117
Not your friends.
198
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,422
Not your minister.
199
00:09:57,509 --> 00:10:00,077
Not even God herself.
200
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,843
Yeah, I should've gotten
a tutor a long time ago.
201
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:33,458
Oh, my God, I think Barky
tutored him to death.
202
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:38,638
Yeah, she, uh,
certainly tutored
my brains out.
203
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:42,946
Rich, you wanna go bowling
with us tonight?
204
00:10:43,033 --> 00:10:44,426
Tonight?
205
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,341
Tonight,
I-I-I can't tonight.
206
00:10:46,428 --> 00:10:48,822
I already made plans to...
207
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,171
to do my homework.
208
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,740
Hold the phone.
209
00:10:53,827 --> 00:10:56,525
Rich Halke doing homework
on a Saturday night?
210
00:10:57,613 --> 00:10:59,659
It's the new me.
211
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,486
You got a woman,
don't ya?
212
00:11:01,573 --> 00:11:03,053
[LAUGHING]
213
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,968
Woman?
214
00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,796
No, no, no woman.
215
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:09,364
No woman.
Why-why-why would you say that?
216
00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:11,714
Come on, man,
quit holding out on us.
217
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:13,934
Does this chick have a sister
you can hook me up with?
218
00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:22,856
You have no idea
how sick that is.
219
00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,469
A bunch of perverts.
220
00:11:35,259 --> 00:11:37,305
-More wine, honey?
-Sure.
221
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,133
[MUSIC PLAYING]
222
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,484
What's the matter, Carol?
223
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,921
Oh, I'm just afraid that
we've hurt Jean-Luc's feelings.
224
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,575
He's so sensitive.
225
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:49,796
Come on.
226
00:11:49,883 --> 00:11:51,885
I mean,
he's a good-looking man.
227
00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:54,322
And you know how women
love those Frenchies.
228
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:58,587
And I'll bet you right now
he's up to his beret in babes.
229
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,546
Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Lambert.
230
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,723
I'm surprised to see you
dining here this evening.
231
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:06,160
It was either come here
or stay in our room
232
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:09,337
and have a couple of beers
and a bag of nuts for 50 bucks.
233
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,818
[CHUCKLES]
No, no, I just thought
that you would be
234
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,081
with your gorgeous
French friend tonight.
235
00:12:17,084 --> 00:12:19,129
a special moonlight picnic
in the woods
236
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,565
just for the three of you.
237
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,394
A moonlight picnic?
238
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,657
Well, yeah,
it's his birthday.
239
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,572
It's his birthday?
240
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,618
Yeah, I mean,
he told me the only thing
241
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:34,318
between him
and the yawning abyss
of madness
242
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,625
is your friendship.
243
00:12:40,455 --> 00:12:42,326
Oh, boy.
244
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,634
So, I'll have
a T-bone steak.
245
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:48,724
Uh...
246
00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:05,088
Hello.
Hello, my little striped friend.
247
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:08,526
So, I am not completely alone
in the world.
248
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:10,267
You come to
my birthday party.
249
00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:13,140
I'm going to share
my chocolate soufflé with you.
250
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,925
Because you are now
my only friend in
the whole world.
251
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:30,244
CAROL:
Jean-Luc, are you out there?
252
00:13:30,331 --> 00:13:32,768
Good night, good night.
Thank you so much for
carrying that--
253
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,031
-FRANK: Hey, Jean-Luc!
-[JEAN-LUC CONTINUES INDISTINCT]
254
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:37,077
Watch out for
the skunk poop.
255
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:42,691
Jean-Luc, we've been
looking all over for you.
256
00:13:42,778 --> 00:13:45,694
Well, I'm sorry.
You just missed my grand picnic.
257
00:13:45,781 --> 00:13:47,217
I'm just now cleaning up
258
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,741
after my many,
many, many guests
259
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,482
who, as you can see,
left me with this
260
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:54,616
care-free jumble
of cutlery and plates.
261
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:58,881
Jean-Luc.
262
00:13:58,968 --> 00:14:01,101
Now, why didn't you tell us
it was your birthday?
263
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:04,234
Well, I was wanting to
tell you in the hot tub,
264
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:08,325
but, uh, a certain someone
tell me to "buzz off."
265
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,895
O-Okay, listen.
I'm sorry.
266
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:15,028
That was out of line
and I shouldn't have said it.
267
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:18,509
But Carol and I
need some time alone.
268
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:21,991
Look, uh...
269
00:14:22,078 --> 00:14:24,733
I know that I've been
a grand pain in
the derriere.
270
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:27,649
-No, you haven't.
-No, Carol, Carol, Carol.
271
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:30,695
I've been clinging to you
like a pair of jockey shorts
272
00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:32,480
on a hot, humid day.
273
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:40,792
It's...it's just that
when I'm not with you,
274
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,317
I have to think
about the divorce.
275
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:46,668
And, uh, when I'm with you,
then I feel so good.
276
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:50,454
Jean-Luc, I know you're
going through a tough time,
277
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:54,719
but, you know,
you just have to get out
in the world and meet people.
278
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,808
Yeah, as a matter of fact,
279
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,115
there is a waitress
back in the cafe,
280
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,378
-and I think she's got
the hots for you.
-Yes.
281
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,295
Not the one with the skin
like crème brûlée
282
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:06,906
and the buttocks like
brioche.
283
00:15:10,474 --> 00:15:12,607
-That's the one.
-[JEAN-LUC LAUGHS]
284
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:14,435
Hello.
285
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,132
Come on.
286
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:19,048
Why don't the three of us
go back to the restaurant,
287
00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:20,920
And then Carol and I
will slip off to our room,
288
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,573
and you and Miss Crème Brûlée
289
00:15:22,660 --> 00:15:24,401
can figure out dessert
on your own.
290
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,403
Happy birthday, Jean-Luc.
291
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,058
Oh, merci,
Carol, merci,Carol.
292
00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:31,060
-CAROL: Yes.
-Happy birthday, Jean-Luc.
293
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:34,020
Oh, Frank,
you really are mon amie.
294
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:36,457
You're not gonna hug me,
are you?
295
00:15:36,544 --> 00:15:38,459
Come on, Frank.
296
00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:39,982
We are men.
297
00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,028
We are rough.
298
00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:43,943
-We are tough.
-Tough.
299
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,250
We do not hug,
we kiss.
300
00:15:56,433 --> 00:16:00,133
Well, that date
was a complete waste.
301
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:03,310
What are you talking about?
We practically wore out
each other's lips.
302
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:07,705
Uh, yes, but there needs
to be more to a relationship
than making out.
303
00:16:09,272 --> 00:16:10,752
Like what?
304
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:16,845
Like some kind of emotional
and spiritual connection.
305
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,716
I mean, if people
are gonna be together,
306
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:20,544
there has to be depth.
307
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:23,417
But we went to a movie.
308
00:16:30,511 --> 00:16:32,817
It is two hours of
gratuitous violence
309
00:16:32,904 --> 00:16:36,038
occasionally interrupted by
topless women with machine guns.
310
00:16:38,084 --> 00:16:40,086
Well, obviously
the whole point
of the movie
311
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,783
just went
right over your head.
312
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:46,135
"Fistful of Guts"
is a very classic study
313
00:16:46,222 --> 00:16:48,616
of man's inhumanity
towards man.
314
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,882
Rich, did you just say,
"inhumanity"?
315
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,363
Yes.
316
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,028
Yes, it is.
317
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:13,510
Do you know what that means?
318
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:15,904
I am starting
to rub off on you.
319
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,603
Dana, was that a smile?
320
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,780
[GASPS]
Well, light up a room,
why don't you?
321
00:17:22,867 --> 00:17:24,956
Look at you.
See?
322
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,784
Looks like
I'm rubbing off
on you, too.
323
00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,960
[GASPS]
Ooh. Oh, no.
324
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,919
You mean it works
both ways?
325
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,793
See, there is more
to this relationship
than you thought.
326
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,100
And the best part
about it is,
327
00:17:38,187 --> 00:17:40,276
it involves rubbing.
328
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,456
Oh, sorry, Barky,
didn't know you had a date.
329
00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:48,502
Don't mind me,
I'm just getting...
330
00:18:11,220 --> 00:18:13,657
[YELLS]
331
00:18:15,442 --> 00:18:18,140
-[YELLING]
-J.T., calm down, calm down!
332
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:19,620
Buddy, calm down.
333
00:18:19,707 --> 00:18:21,404
Tell me this is a bad dream.
334
00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:23,580
I'm sorry, man,
it's not a dream.
335
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,805
[YELLING]
Why? Why?
336
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:32,502
Why? Why? Why?
337
00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:35,462
J.T!
What's going on down here?
338
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:37,507
Why? Why?
339
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:44,297
Them! Them lips!
Them-them-them-them kissing!
340
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,516
Them rubbing!
[GROANING]
341
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:50,303
Rich and Dana kissing?
342
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:52,305
Oh, man, I haven't
been this sick
343
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:55,221
since I walked in
on Grandma in the shower.
344
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,529
Look, you guys,
I know it doesn't
make sense,
345
00:18:59,616 --> 00:19:01,966
but I kind of...
346
00:19:02,053 --> 00:19:04,317
sort of...like him.
347
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:09,931
No.
348
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,672
No!
349
00:19:11,759 --> 00:19:14,283
No! No! No!
350
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,459
No use fighting nature, J.T.
351
00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,418
They're like wild animals
drawn to each other
352
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:20,115
by a permit of lust.
353
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,030
No! No lust here.
354
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,553
No lust.
355
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,120
I need air.
356
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,774
God!
357
00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:31,257
Dana, this is amazing.
358
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:34,173
You've gone from being
a clear-headed,
359
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:35,783
independent woman
360
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,438
to being a lust-driven,
361
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,440
hormonal love slave.
362
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:44,748
You're my hero.
363
00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:49,753
Love slave?
364
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,103
Great, now I'm never
gonna sleep tonight.
365
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:57,761
I don't see
what the big deal is.
366
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,807
I mean,
opposites attract.
367
00:19:59,894 --> 00:20:04,072
You are a over-achieving,
control freak.
368
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:08,294
Hmm, and you are
an undisciplined,
irresponsible slacker.
369
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,871
[YELLING]
370
00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:25,267
Oh, no!
371
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,496
Hey, Mrs. L, Mr. L.
372
00:20:36,583 --> 00:20:39,586
How was the old love
junket this weekend?
373
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,544
Hey, R,
none of your business.
374
00:20:43,503 --> 00:20:45,331
So, what are you doing here,
Rich, waiting for J.T.?
375
00:20:45,418 --> 00:20:47,376
Uh, no, actually.
I'm here to see Dana.
376
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:49,030
She's been tutoring me
in English Lit,
377
00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:51,162
and I have a little
surprise for her.
378
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:54,078
-Hey, Mom. Hey, Frank.
-Hey, sweetie.
379
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:55,471
-Welcome home.
-Hi.
380
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,995
Hey, Rich.
381
00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:02,261
I, uh, got my test back.
382
00:21:03,349 --> 00:21:04,350
-Check it out.
-[GASPS]
383
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,526
You got a B?
384
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,442
I am so proud of you.
385
00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:12,880
In fact,
you deserve a big reward.
386
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:24,370
Mm, come on,
let's go celebrate.
387
00:21:26,415 --> 00:21:28,417
Isn't he adorable?
388
00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:39,036
I don't believe that.
389
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:41,517
Me neither.
390
00:21:41,604 --> 00:21:43,302
Rich got a B.
28151
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